A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.
Paper Monitor has that Friday feeling. The working week is almost done and thoughts turn to a little high-living.
After a week living off the meagre rations of Paper Monitor's store cupboard, perhaps a slap-up meal is in order. But what should be on the menu?
Keen followers of the UK's media may be a tad confused about what exactly is healthy, given the seemingly endless stream of conflicting reports that appear on a daily basis.
So full marks to the Daily Express, which tries to spell out the facts and bust the myths about "superfoods". (How Paper Monitor detests these trendy terms).
Popeye, it turns out, was a fraud. Spinach is "not so super", according to nutritionist Angela Dowden.
While high in iron and said to lower the risk of heart disease, cancer and certain eye problems, it seems curly kale is better - and you would have to eat up to five servings per week to feel the benefit. (Paper Monitor's better half might object on environmental grounds).
Others branded "not so super" are soy - including those painfully fashionable edamame beans, blueberries, extra virgin olive oil and, rather disappointingly, red wine.
Eggs, on the other hand, are "worth it". It seems warnings about them being high in cholesterol have been brushed aside since they "contain a substance that blocks the absorption of cholesterol into the blood stream".
Ingredients left on the menu include oily fish, avocados, pomegranates and baked beans. This could be an interesting meal.
Paper Monitor was already recovering from last week's news that potatoes were turning purple.
Now the Daily Mail has news that sprouts, are also changing colour.
A new variety of the vegetable, the red sprout, is expected to be a hit this year as it is supposedly milder and sweeter than the bitter-tasting traditional green version.
"Bitter-tasting?" What an outrageous suggestion. And it gets worse. Just a few pages later, Anne Shooter extols the virtues of all foods purple, on grounds that they "tend to particularly healthy as they contain anthocyanins... powerful antioxidants which protect cells from damage and so may prevent cancer".
There are recipes for Purple Soup - featuring those new-fangled spuds, Mauve fishcakes with roast chips, Purple Carrot Cake and Blackberry Fool.
These fashion foods have given Paper Monitor a headache and that Friday feeling is but a distant memory.
The only remedy must be a nice cup of old-fashioned English breakfast tea. Hang on, the nutritionist's verdict on a cuppa: "Not so super?" Crushed.