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Paper Monitor

12:21 UK time, Tuesday, 7 September 2010

A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.

After forgetting to water the tomatoes for almost a week, Paper Monitor sheepishly gave them a good feed this morning - noting how sad and bedraggled they looked.

But, as ever, there was an uplifting story to be found in the pages of the national press to cheer the most hapless of gardeners.

Even if your fruit and veg fails to thrive, is blighted by greenfly or withers on the vine, there is always the chance of hauling in a crop of edible art.

It started with a carrot in the form of Buzz Lightyear dug up from an Oxfordshire garden.

And the Sun didn't miss the chance to present its own five-a-day gallery of peculiar produce.

There is an "evil" parsnip in the shape of a witch, a yam that looks like a sausage dog, a rabbit-shaped tomato and a courgette with a striking resemblance to a duck.

Paper Monitor's favourite has to be the spud that looks like children's TV favourite Sooty.

But nature's creative instinct isn't limited to edible goods.

A Plymouth neighbourhood is getting hot under the collar about a leylandii hedge which, the Mail reports, has grown to 35ft in height and towers over the owner's three-bedroom semi.

From where Paper Monitor is sitting, the resulting growth bears more than a passing resemblance to the impressive barnet of premiership footballer Marouane Fellaini.

And Paper Monitor is delighted to note that it isn't just the tabloids having fun with plants, although the Daily Telegraph is operating on an altogether higher plane with its prize picture.

It reports:

An image of Jesus Christ on the cross has been "seen" in a telephone pole covered in vines next to a motorway in Louisiana.

Paper Monitor would consider a pilgrimage, were it not for travel options being limited by a strike on London's Tube.

Not that the capital's edition of the commuter's paper of record Metro seemed too concerned. It didn't mention the inevitable resulting transport chaos until page 11.

Not to worry. Paper Monitor fancies a stroll home - a chance to move at an easier pace, water the tomatoes on the way and check if there is moneymaker among them.

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