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Paper Monitor

12:14 UK time, Wednesday, 9 June 2010

A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.

Cuts, cuts, cuts. The papers are full of the plans to reduce public spending and the nation's debt. But the Sun goes a step further today by declaring "war on waste". And we - the paper's "loyal army of readers" - are being given an important job to do - "grass up the offenders".

You will be our eyes and ears as we hunt down the faceless quangos, town hall tyrants and barmy busybodies throwing money around like confetti.

It kicks the campaign off with some real gems, including a government-funded college course to teach young women how to walk in high heels - at a cost of £150 per pupil. There is also a healthy eating guide for footie fans, produced by a government quango. It suggests fans sip fizzy water with a slice of lemon instead of beer during matches. You'll hardly notice the difference - honest.

The paper plans to compile a "mighty dossier" of such "barmy" projects which it will give to the chancellor, George Osborne. But not before its team of heavyweight pundits have had their say. And who are these wise men and women, specially selected to bring some common sense to the debate? The likes of former "Liverpool hardman", Neil Ruddock, that's who. And his view on the healthy-eating guide?

This is absolute rubbish. If I started drinking sparkling water with a lemon down my pub, I'd be kicked out.

Obviously, to get a wide variety of views, the paper also gets a comment from, err, another ex-footballer. This time former West Ham star Julian Dicks:

When people support England, they like to enjoy themselves. I won't be having a vegetable couscous.

Yeah, take that all you couscous-eating, money-wasting busybodies. Your number is up and the Sun, some readers - maybe - and two ex-footballers are coming to get you. Be afraid, be very afraid.

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