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Paper Monitor

11:31 UK time, Thursday, 3 June 2010

A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.

It promised so much but like so many things in life, the first time was such a disappointment. It's safe to say the first Prime Minster Questions (PMQs) taken by David Cameron fell flat - very flat.

The papers' political pundits cannot hide their disappointment, with the Guardian's Simon Hoggart describing it as having "all the excitement of a good game of cribbage". He's already making plans for how to spend his time if PMQs continues to be such a damp squib.

"If it goes on like this I may have to spend the half-hour session watching reruns of Murder, She Wrote on Freeview."

The Daily Mail's Quentin Letts says there was "ecclesiastical calm" in the Commons, rather like a "wedding congregation before the arrival of the bride". And so the marriage comparisions between Cameron and Clegg continue. But he also points out that something rather important was missing from the proceedings - barnyard noises.

"There was none of the old mooing and honking and flea scratching and general bestial rhubarb."

Now where's the fun in that? Ann Treneman, writing in the Times couldn't take her eyes of that "bride" or, as she calls Nick Clegg, the "Prime Minster's Office Wife".

"My eyes kept slipping over to the Silent One. Some thought he looked contemplative but that is quite close to looking miserable."

As PMQs went on - and on, and on - she says he began "to look like a captive in a hostage video".

The events in Cumbria earlier in the day - which dominate today's papers - could have been the reason for the rather sombre PMQs, say some of the pundits. They are certainly the reason for an oversight in the Times.

Andrew Billen reviews a special Coronation Street episode on the TV pages, when it was actually pulled last night because the plot line involved a shooting.

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