A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.
Well, it's about time. The REALLY important election questions are starting to be asked - and not really answered - in the papers.
Things kick off on page 11 of the Times. It asks who has the Doctor's vote? That's Doctor Who in case you were wondering. And it's talking about almost every actor who has played him since the programme began. It ruminates, but never really comes to a conclusion, on most of them, kindly going right back to Tom Baker for us.
On to the next big question. What do a selection of female candidates from each of the three main parties look like in posh dresses. The answer? It's on page seven of the Daily Telegraph, but Paper Monitor will tell you - much like any other woman in a posh dress. To see for yourself click here.
On the all important what-are-they-wearing theme, the Daily Mail asks: "What's purple all about?" This is because candidates are - yes - wearing purple.
The Mirror keeps the level of rigorous questioning high, devoting an entire article to a question burning in Paper Monitor's mind. Is the drawing of the boy on his father's shoulders on the cover of Labour's newly-launched manifesto supposed to be a young Tony Blair? Yes, no? A coincidence, its says. Phew, glad that's sorted out.
It's not the only paper fixated on the cover. The Sun says it's a copy of two old Tory election posters, one used in 1910 and the other in 1931. The Telegraph claims it is reminiscent of a Labour poster from 1923. It also throws into the mix the fact that internet bloggers have compared it to Soviet-era Communist propaganda and the cover of George Orwell's book Animal Farm. The Express says it's inspired by Chinese Chairman Mao posters.
The Guardian juxtaposes it against the Tory manifesto, to be launched today. It's navy blue and simply has "invitation to join the government of Britain" written on it. The paper says it's "socialist chic v austere hymn book".
What's inside them, you may ask. Well, the papers give that a bit of space. After the all important what-is-the-design-really-trying-to-say question is well and truly covered. No pun intended.