A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.
Short but sweet today. Paper Monitor has things to do, places to be, Caption Competitions to oversee!
And so, to business.
The Sun has a picture that paints a thousand words. Which is why it is run with only 55 words around it, including headline, and one is "ruff" and another "mutt-see".
It provides a neat twist on the perennial favourite of seeking out dogs who look like their owners, or vice versa. It does not appear to be on the Sun's website. But it can also be seen here, thanks to the Daily Mail.
And finally - yes, already - Paper Monitor has never hid its unwavering enthusiasm for the rival showbiz/Apocalypse-spotting columns in the Guardian and the Times.
(Past glories include Lost in Showbiz on Sting's private gig for make benefit glorious nation of Uzbekistan despite questionable human rights record, and Celebrity Watch devising a new verb - nostrilling - for the way Jeremy Paxman speaks to his interviewees.)
Well. Today's gems include Celebrity Watch skewing Simon Cowell's title as most famous person in Britain.
"Clearly, this isn't correct - the most famous person in Britain is the meerkat in the smoking jacket from the Comparethemarket.com advert. Have you tried getting near a meerkat enclosure at a zoo these days? It's like trying to get into the Cavern during Beatlemania."
So true it hurts.
And over at Lost in Showbiz, there's good news for Haiti - GMTV's style guru Mark Heyes is launching a charity to help the quake victims. Who he, you may ask?
"This faction of Lost in Showbiz loves a bit of Heyes in the morning. Honestly, the things he can find in River Island. A bit of Karen Millen here, a touch of Dune there - why, it's like being at a Balenciaga show, with the priceless presence of Lorraine Kelly instead of that Anna Wintour wotsit."
Paper Monitor has clearly been missing out.