Just think of it as a fun new weekly tradition. Here's your latest bumper crop of letters, to make up for yesterday's non-appearance.
See what I mean? Tell off your underlings too much, and they will simply become demotivated and unable to focus, and next thing you know they'll forget to publish the letters every week. You need a comprehensive retraining programme for Monitor underlings in a supportive and blame-free environment.
Adam, London, UK
Or Day The Earth Caught Fire, or Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea, or Crack in the World, or Sunshine, or...
John Andrews @BBC News Magazine
J Paul Murdock (Tuesday letters) asked about the difference between a low-dose acclimatisation to peanuts and homeopathy: think of it as the difference between "up to five nuts a day" and "more chance of winning the lottery than ingesting a single molecule".
Ben of Bournemouth's letter leaves me wondering: how on earth do you drive a pharmacy (apart from very carefully)? And where would you drive it to? Narcotics Anonymous?
Toyota's superstition backfired. Eight lucky strokes in its name, eight million vehicles.
Nuno Aragao, Aveiro, Portugal
Did anyone else spend a good few minutes essentially playing "spot the difference" to work out which planes from the main photo had been used in the inserts?
Basil Long, Nottingham
I don't wish to pigeonhole sociology professors as a class, but I've yet to see a professor of Renaissance architecture use the word "crap" repeatedly when talking to the BBC.
Edward Green, London, UK
Wednesday's Quote of the Day is typical of the disrespect the media shows for the fine traditions of the aristocracy. In future please use the full formal title Her Grace the Duchess of Gaga."
Ben Moxon, Guildford, UK
Telling my teenage daughter that I had just scored 7 out of 7 on the fashionista-speak quiz caused more hilarity than an entire season of QI. Is she trying to tell me something?
Jaye, Rutland, England
Oh come on, play fair! How can we get the right answer on the fashion quiz if we can't see the pictures? It's no good asking me if that's a kitten heel when I'm looking at a white kitten in a snowstorm.
Caroline Brown, Rochester, UK
Monitor note: Have you tried turning it off, then on again?
I am delighted to find I am a fashion victim, having managed a grand total of 0/7 in the fashion quiz. Can I have an anorak to take with me as I leave?
Of course Paper Monitor is taken. Paper Monitor and Magazine Monitor are married. One day they'll have a baby monitor.