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Love Creep

13:52 UK time, Friday, 12 February 2010

Unlikely events linked to the feast day of Valentinus himself.

With Valentine's Day fast approaching, the Monitor has resorted to singing love songs to get in the mood, and sprinkling red rose petals around the water cooler.

For those yet to succumb to the pressure to buy flowers, perhaps a box of over-priced choccies and hand make a heart bedecked card, fear not - there are two shopping days left until V day. And Monitor is still being inspired by all sorts of offerings from its admirers in PR Land. Hence Love Creep, the more amorous half-sibling to Crunch Creep.

On Thursday it was all George Clooney pillows, pine nut love potions and birdwatching. Today there are even more aphrodisiac treats. Send your own spots using the COMMENTS FORM on this page.

The Daily Telegraph reports how sales of "package boosting" men's pants have, ahem, risen by 76%.

The bulge-enhancing underwear work by using what has been described as "a pioneering lift and holding feature", said to be very comfortable. Monitor can neither confirm nor refute this claim. One wonders if such a garment might induce a Bridget-Jones-granny-pant moment once uncovered in the throes of passion. Buyer beware. One salesman tells the paper:

"We can't be held responsible for what happens once the pants come off."

For those in long-term relationships, it may be less about the gifts and more about a certain question. To pop or not to pop? Handily, to save time going through your beloved's pockets to see if there's a ring, there is... drum roll please... a new formula. (Regular readers know how much the Monitor loves a bit of maths.)

As the Daily Mail reports, scientists in Australia have devised a mathematical formula to determine when your suitor will go down on one knee. The Fiancée Formula calculates the ideal age for a man to propose.

If all this romance is making you blush, then you may like Brian Fareham, who claims to be Britain's least romantic man. He tells the Daily Mirror that the only present he has ever bought his wife was a fork so she can dig the garden, and he's only taken her out to dinner once... to a truck stop.

Bless.

So happy Valentine's Day to you - yes, you, Shnookums. Before you know it, Easter Creep will soon be upon us. The chocolate hearts are already being replaced by chocolate eggs.

Comments

  • Comment number 1.

    This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the house rules. Explain.

  • Comment number 2.

    I seem to have booked all the red roses in town. I'ts a tropical town and roses are hard to get. I finally found a set of flowering roses that had been planted to attract customers to buy the rest of the nursery plants that are available there. I made a booking! I'll cut the best flowers tomorrow and bring the surprise in overnight to my Valentine. No pressure to buy the flowers here. They fall into the category of 'inventive'.

  • Comment number 3.

    My neighbour gave me a small automatic cheese grater she was going to bin. Does that count?

 

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