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Paper Monitor

11:51 UK time, Monday, 23 November 2009

A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.

Oh, the joy of being a newspaper sport sub-editor!

Do they dream in puns? Talk to their partners in double entendres? Sprinkle their tax forms with bon mots?

Football is a happy hunting ground for their punning prowess, which is in glorious fettle today.

The story is Tottenham Hotpsur scoring NINE (that's not nine, that's NINE) against hapless Wigan Athletic. Striker Jermain Defoe hit FIVE.

Match the paper to the witty headline. Answers below.

1. "LETHAL DEFOE HAS WIGAN CALLING 999"

2. "JERMAIN DE-FIVE"

3. "HIGH FIVE"

4. "JERMAIN DEMAN"

5. "DEFOE FINDS THE ROAD TO WIGAN FEAR IS PAVED WITH GOALS"

6. "SPURS ON CLOUD NINE"

7. "DEFOE IS LOVING THE NINE TO FIVE"

8. "5-STAR DEFOE'S DEADLY SHOW"

9. "IT'S ALL NINE"

10. "GOAL FORCE 9"

Answers:

1. Times
2. Mirror
3. Independent
4. Mirror
5. Times
6. Daily Telegraph
7. Daily Express
8. Daily Mail
9. Sun
10. Star

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