A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.
Birthday celebrations can only be dragged out so long, as even the most dedicated of party girls and boys will know.
So after three days of festivities to mark its big 4-0, the Sun is winding down. No more special supplements, but the paper is handing out party favours. Those hoping for a slice of cake wrapped in a paper napkin will be disappointed - ah, those were the days - as the party bag takes the form of vouchers for a free bottle of bubbly. (Tokens to collect. Subject to availability.)
It's also plugging its "brilliant 40th birthday celebration bookazine", on sale Monday from newsagents nationwide. Scratch that. Not just any newsagents, but Martin McColl stores only. Martin Mc-where?
AND it's selling T-shirts emblazoned with classic front pages. One is, of course, that Freddie Starr headline. One marks John Lennon's death. And a third marks George "Zip me up before you go go" Michael's 1998 arrest in an LA public toilet. Well, that's Paper Monitor's Christmas shopping done and dusted.
Meanwhile, the Daily Telegraph is also concerned with numbers after the Queen's Speech at the State Opening of Parliament.
"15 The number of minutes it took the Queen and the Duke of Edinburgh to travel from Buckingham Palace to the House of Commons in a horse-drawn coach."
That's a journey of 0.7 miles, that can be walked in about 14 minutes.
"60 The number of Yeoman of the Guard who fanned through the cellars of Parliament looking for hidden explosive material. There was none."
"1 The number of sentences in the 1900 Queen's Speech, the shortest on record, recalling Parliament to give more resources to the Boer War."
Hmmm. That sets Paper Monitor to wondering... which is the shortest Paper Monitor on record?
Moving back to fashion matters, the Daily Mail is much concerned with three-year-old Suri Cruise wearing silver heels. And, perhaps predictably, falling out of them. Looks like wellies might have been a better choice... but isn't that always the case?
And it offers kudos to Sarah Brown for her Queen's Speech outfit and, predictably, brickbats for another political wife. Which again sets Paper Monitor to wondering... what are fascinators for? And why are they called fascinators?