A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.
Animal photo stories are all very well. But stuffed animal photo stories do rather scare the living daylights out of Paper Monitor.
And if one has nightmares tonight about little tiny starey-eyed diamante-cross-wearing mice - or are they newborn kittens? - sipping tea from delicate china cups, the Daily Express is to blame. And as for the somewhat moth-eaten and boss-eyed rat - or is it a mouse? - with a chalice and scabbard... YIKES!
Quickly turning to its diary column Hickey for some light relief (titter - or does "hickey" just have connotations for Paper Monitor? The rest of the team at Monitor Towers are evenly split between tittering and not tittering) there is an enjoyable snippet about behind-the-scenes bickering at the Tory conference. No - wait - come back!
Rumours of a joint photo opportunity jog between Dave Cameron and Boris Johnson have come, so far, to naught. But it has sparked something of a tussle over who is the faster runner.
"London's mayor has privately assured pals that he is the quicker of the two, a claim swiftly kicked into touch by the Tory leader's team. 'To put it politely David doesn't carry as much body weight as Boris,' chuckles one official."
Gosh, it's like Brown v Blair all over again.
UPDATE 1631 BST: As promised in yesterday's column, here the Magazine takes the temperature of the newspaper diary column, afetr the passing of People in the Times.