Caption Competition

13:11 UK time, Thursday, 22 October 2009

Winning entries in the Caption Competition.

The competition is now closed. Full rules can be seen here [PDF].

clown.595.jpg

This week it's delegates at the 14th Latin American clown convention in Mexico. Thanks to all who entered. The prize of a small amount of kudos to the following:

6. NorfolkOnce
The MPs' bar in the Houses of Parliament - what really goes on during those long long debates.

5. Clarence_E_Pitts
118 and 118 seek alternative employment.

4. Ruthstabb
Louis Walsh has the groups again.

3. grazvalentine
The David Lynch fan club AGM.

2. eattherich
Fans remember Barbara Cartland.

1. Magnum Carter
Some felt La Roux's styling had now gone a little beyond nostalgic.

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Comments

1. At 12:17pm on 22 Oct 2009, JK wrote:
"I don't think the pink's a good look for you..."

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2. At 12:17pm on 22 Oct 2009, SheffTim wrote:
“I hate it that mummy buys all our clothes”

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3. At 12:18pm on 22 Oct 2009, Raven wrote:
I think I can hear Coco coming - he's in semi-retirement

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4. At 12:19pm on 22 Oct 2009, rockhulley wrote:
"Why does everyone keep giving us Funny Looks."

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5. At 12:20pm on 22 Oct 2009, Raven wrote:
I reckon Vivienne Westwood's definitely got it wrong this season

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6. At 12:20pm on 22 Oct 2009, BaldoBingham wrote:
You know 'Arry, I just don't seem to find 'Last of the Summer Wine' funny anymore.

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7. At 12:21pm on 22 Oct 2009, Neil wrote:
The floodgates were open to let anyone on Question Time, now.

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8. At 12:21pm on 22 Oct 2009, Raven wrote:
So this customs official says "OK, make me laugh"

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9. At 12:22pm on 22 Oct 2009, Neil wrote:
ACAS - the musical.

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10. At 12:22pm on 22 Oct 2009, Raven wrote:
Coming down the stairs, Stephen Sondheim suddenly had an idea for a song

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11. At 12:23pm on 22 Oct 2009, rockhulley wrote:
"Boy George spotted Busking."

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12. At 12:24pm on 22 Oct 2009, Raven wrote:
So George Lucas just laughed and said I'd failed the audition for Star Wars Episode II

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13. At 12:24pm on 22 Oct 2009, JK wrote:
"You could've bought us suits for the wedding, but no... Normal clothes are never good enough for you, are they?"

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14. At 12:24pm on 22 Oct 2009, Northern_Simon wrote:
Whilst the need for covert entry to Broadcasting House was undeniable, there was something ironic about the BNP's choice of disguise.

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15. At 12:25pm on 22 Oct 2009, JudgePix wrote:
9. X Factor 2010 - the Irish twins decide to audition again

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16. At 12:25pm on 22 Oct 2009, Raven wrote:
So this con artist sells me this car - and now the doors won't even fall off

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17. At 12:27pm on 22 Oct 2009, JK wrote:
"I know I said we should make ourselves stand out, but this isn't what I had in mind."

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18. At 12:27pm on 22 Oct 2009, JudgePix wrote:
"So we're agreed: Jan Moir will not be invited to celebrate our civil partnership then"

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19. At 12:28pm on 22 Oct 2009, Valerie Ganne wrote:
I got this job in a porno film, until they found the shoes were false

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20. At 12:29pm on 22 Oct 2009, JudgePix wrote:
Disappointed wannabes at the auditions for the Spice Girls reality show

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21. At 12:29pm on 22 Oct 2009, Valerie Ganne wrote:
I'm plain-clothes too, Constable, but it's my day off

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22. At 12:30pm on 22 Oct 2009, pillingworth wrote:
I asked Vivienne for something subtle, classy and elegant.

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23. At 12:30pm on 22 Oct 2009, Valerie Ganne wrote:
Don't say yes if he asks you up in his balloon - it's all some publicity stunt

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24. At 12:31pm on 22 Oct 2009, BaldoBingham wrote:
Tough audience. We'll have to get a better agent, should never have booked us for the Coulrophobia Society AGM.

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25. At 12:31pm on 22 Oct 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
Last pair I'm afraid, and I had to nudge some bird in a spotty dress out of the way.

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26. At 12:32pm on 22 Oct 2009, Valerie Ganne wrote:
I always get carried away whenever Primark has a sale

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27. At 12:32pm on 22 Oct 2009, bennym22 wrote:
Hopefuls queue up for a chance to win a large cash prize if they manage to cure Lord Leavenworth IV of his hiccups.

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28. At 12:32pm on 22 Oct 2009, pomdiedom wrote:
"Pssss.... Don't look back, but there's a guy behind you with an orange balloon and wearing a ridiculous outfit..."

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29. At 12:33pm on 22 Oct 2009, NorfolkOnce wrote:
The MP’s bar in the Houses of Parliament – what really goes on during those long long debates..

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30. At 12:33pm on 22 Oct 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
No, Gordon said to wait until we're called.

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31. At 12:34pm on 22 Oct 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
Silly Party HQ

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32. At 12:34pm on 22 Oct 2009, JudgePix wrote:
Caption Comp shares a Stealers Wheel moment.

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33. At 12:34pm on 22 Oct 2009, Valerie Ganne wrote:
The Council got me a job in Piccadilly Circus, but I must have got the wrong end of the stick

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34. At 12:35pm on 22 Oct 2009, NorfolkOnce wrote:
Well, nobody told me it was a ‘wake’ either..

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35. At 12:35pm on 22 Oct 2009, BaldoBingham wrote:
You know what they say about men with big feet?
Yeah, bunions.

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36. At 12:35pm on 22 Oct 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
Welcome to Hell. Take a number and we'll be right with you.

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37. At 12:36pm on 22 Oct 2009, NorfolkOnce wrote:
OK, now guess what I came as, go on..

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38. At 12:36pm on 22 Oct 2009, Valerie Ganne wrote:
Two understudies wait to hear if Ronald's anxiety attack at a McDonald's birthday party is serious

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39. At 12:37pm on 22 Oct 2009, JK wrote:
"I know they match your outfit, George, but if you had just listened and bought a pair in your size, you wouldn't need to scrunch up your feet."

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40. At 12:38pm on 22 Oct 2009, rogueslr wrote:
But the worse part was when she said, she'd rather live next to Madonna.

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41. At 12:38pm on 22 Oct 2009, JeremiahJobling wrote:
Yeah, it's the last time I walk through the make-up department at Debenham's too

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42. At 12:38pm on 22 Oct 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
Yes, and Guy Laliberte has been over the moon ever since.

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43. At 12:40pm on 22 Oct 2009, lindum49 wrote:
Two previous Caption Competition winners also found they had something in common whilst waiting for their small quantity of kudos to be presented.

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44. At 12:40pm on 22 Oct 2009, JeremiahJobling wrote:
Now I have to get my CRB, maybe "The Great Peedo" wasn't such a good name

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45. At 12:40pm on 22 Oct 2009, JudgePix wrote:
Horrorscopes #3: Gemini

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46. At 12:41pm on 22 Oct 2009, JeremiahJobling wrote:
Oh, and Mum wants her tea-cosy back

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47. At 12:41pm on 22 Oct 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
I'm fresh out of balloons, and that bloke over there was moaning it looked more like a poodle than a lion.

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48. At 12:41pm on 22 Oct 2009, JeremiahJobling wrote:
I gotta go the Doctor - I feel a bit funny

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49. At 12:41pm on 22 Oct 2009, JK wrote:
Because sometimes you just have to follow your impulses.

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50. At 12:42pm on 22 Oct 2009, rogueslr wrote:
I've got to hand it to you Osama, that's a damn fine disguise. Not bad yourself Elvis.

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51. At 12:42pm on 22 Oct 2009, JudgePix wrote:
Ant and Dec enjoy some down time

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52. At 12:43pm on 22 Oct 2009, JeremiahJobling wrote:
Me Mam said to get a new suit for the court hearing, but maybe I should have gone to Dunn's instead of Billy Smart's

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53. At 12:44pm on 22 Oct 2009, JeremiahJobling wrote:
So there I was waiting in the queue, and Her Majesty finally gets to me, and the first thing she says is "And what do you do?"

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54. At 12:45pm on 22 Oct 2009, rogueslr wrote:
Do you think they've stopped looking for us yet Butch? Dunno Sundance, just dunno.

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55. At 12:45pm on 22 Oct 2009, NorfolkOnce wrote:
And then she said, sob, she was leaving me for my chiropodist..

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56. At 12:45pm on 22 Oct 2009, JudgePix wrote:
"Are you alright? You look a bit drawn..."

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57. At 12:47pm on 22 Oct 2009, SimonRooke wrote:
Then the wife says 'If I catch you in my make up cabinet again we're through!'

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58. At 12:49pm on 22 Oct 2009, Rob Falconer wrote:
So this magazine article said the best way to get a girl is to laugh her into bed, but it doesn't seem to be working

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59. At 12:49pm on 22 Oct 2009, Rob Falconer wrote:
So the circus threw me out - they said I was making a laughing-stock of them

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60. At 12:50pm on 22 Oct 2009, SimonRooke wrote:
I really wanted to be an accountant, but my dad insisted I got a proper job.

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61. At 12:50pm on 22 Oct 2009, Rob Falconer wrote:
I thought I was being asked to join The Chippendales, not Chipperfield's

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62. At 12:50pm on 22 Oct 2009, ARoseByAnyOther wrote:
"No, no, no. Nietzsche aims at freeing higher human beings from their false consciousness about morality and their false belief that morality is good for them, not at a transformation of society at large."

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63. At 12:51pm on 22 Oct 2009, Rob Falconer wrote:
I got a job advertising Oxo - they want me to promote their new "Laughing Stock"

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64. At 12:52pm on 22 Oct 2009, Rockahula wrote:
Question Time, the Green Room, and the BNP representatives are having second thoughts...

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65. At 12:55pm on 22 Oct 2009, pomdiedom wrote:
Do I look fat in this?

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66. At 12:55pm on 22 Oct 2009, lindum49 wrote:
"Look on the bright side Flavio, it's only until your appeal and Jenson did win after all........"

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67. At 12:56pm on 22 Oct 2009, ARoseByAnyOther wrote:
And I suppose you're the Clown Prince there too?

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68. At 12:56pm on 22 Oct 2009, ThunderCat8 wrote:
"You're in my seat."

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69. At 12:57pm on 22 Oct 2009, ThunderCat8 wrote:
"What've you come as?"

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70. At 12:57pm on 22 Oct 2009, NorfolkOnce wrote:
The room gradually filled up before the traders decided that days prices for derivatives..

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71. At 12:58pm on 22 Oct 2009, ARoseByAnyOther wrote:
Terrible two's? Nah, aged three, they're the ones you've got to watch out for.

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72. At 12:59pm on 22 Oct 2009, Tom Webb wrote:
Labour's economic advisor's nerves are evident as they patiently wait outside the conference hall for the reaction to Alistair Darling's speech.

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73. At 12:59pm on 22 Oct 2009, Rob Falconer wrote:
I think Coco could have made more of an effort

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74. At 12:59pm on 22 Oct 2009, Clarence_E_Pitts wrote:
As another pitch leaves the Den empty handed, Coco and Parp decide they will target Peter Jones...

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75. At 12:59pm on 22 Oct 2009, Magnum Carter wrote:
In a show of confidence verging on arrogance, Bob was relying solely on his famous balloon-dog to see him through to the finals.

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76. At 12:59pm on 22 Oct 2009, ARoseByAnyOther wrote:
I've got a flask in my pocket if it gets too depressing.

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77. At 1:00pm on 22 Oct 2009, Tremorman wrote:
Trinny and Susannah wait patiently in the Jonathan Ross green room

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78. At 1:02pm on 22 Oct 2009, iansessford wrote:
Send in the CLONES!

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79. At 1:02pm on 22 Oct 2009, dry_boak wrote:
The Tomaszewski twins waited anxiously outside Mr Clough's office to see if their job applications had been successful

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80. At 1:02pm on 22 Oct 2009, Tremorman wrote:
Tha Labour party had an idea this would boost their flagging popularity.

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81. At 1:03pm on 22 Oct 2009, Clarence_E_Pitts wrote:
By the tenth series of 'Strictly' we thought we'd seen it all.....

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82. At 1:03pm on 22 Oct 2009, Rob Falconer wrote:
If only I'd read the part of Hamlet a little more closely for the audition

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83. At 1:04pm on 22 Oct 2009, nickson1 wrote:
The Prime Ministers Televised Debate was looking good for Gordon Brown as Clegg and Cameron fell for his "lets do it in fancy dress" request.

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84. At 1:04pm on 22 Oct 2009, ARoseByAnyOther wrote:
I hear Homey is the keynote speaker this year.

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85. At 1:04pm on 22 Oct 2009, SimonRooke wrote:
The Cheeky Girls, where are they now?

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86. At 1:04pm on 22 Oct 2009, Tremorman wrote:
Gordon Brown and John Prescott join the media circus

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87. At 1:05pm on 22 Oct 2009, GervaseFen wrote:
It was the least I could do for my mother-in-law's funeral

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88. At 1:05pm on 22 Oct 2009, iansessford wrote:
"Look mate, its only for 24hrs,just to make our wages up.We`ll be back in the sorting office tomorrow."

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89. At 1:06pm on 22 Oct 2009, Tremorman wrote:
Fancy seeing you here, you're having a laugh if you've come for a mortgage

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90. At 1:08pm on 22 Oct 2009, MightyGiddyUpGal wrote:
So then I said "Bring me the head of Alfredo Garcia!"

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91. At 1:08pm on 22 Oct 2009, BaldoBingham wrote:
Are you sure we're doing the right thing in becoming Freemasons?

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92. At 1:11pm on 22 Oct 2009, Behn wrote:
Mis-typed invitation leads to confusion at 'Human cloning' conference.

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93. At 1:11pm on 22 Oct 2009, MightyGiddyUpGal wrote:
Well, I've got tickets to Frida Kahlo, so you'd better be nice to me.

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94. At 1:11pm on 22 Oct 2009, Mark wrote:
The 3 finalists in the 40th annual Monty Python silly walks competition practice their routines.

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95. At 1:12pm on 22 Oct 2009, GervaseFen wrote:
So the Police guessed straight away who'd put the banana skin outside my wife's bedroom door

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96. At 1:12pm on 22 Oct 2009, Clarence_E_Pitts wrote:
"Strewth! Who'd wear a tie like that!"

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97. At 1:14pm on 22 Oct 2009, GervaseFen wrote:
I haven't been able to buy a decent car since British Leyland finished

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98. At 1:14pm on 22 Oct 2009, BaldoBingham wrote:
You know, I used to do those ads for Iceland.

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99. At 1:14pm on 22 Oct 2009, nickson1 wrote:
Zuzzy and Zwyzzy always wondered why they were the last contestants at the conventions.

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100. At 1:15pm on 22 Oct 2009, j-o-n-a-t-h-a-n wrote:
System designers prepare to go on stage at the launch of Windows 7.

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101. At 1:16pm on 22 Oct 2009, Tremorman wrote:
Well look if those horrid twins can do well on the x factor I'm sure the two clowns from Human resources could do ok.

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102. At 1:16pm on 22 Oct 2009, Clarence_E_Pitts wrote:
"Nah, it was you who messed up the pitch. That Duncan Bannatyne made you look a right clown"

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103. At 1:16pm on 22 Oct 2009, penny-farthing wrote:
Fortunately a security camera got a picture of the balloon-wielding maniac who left a trail of bloody and injured clowns behind him.

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104. At 1:17pm on 22 Oct 2009, j-o-n-a-t-h-a-n wrote:
Ladies and gentlemen, if you thought Vista was fun, just wait until you meet the designers of Windows 7.

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105. At 1:17pm on 22 Oct 2009, Lloyd-Barnes wrote:
It soon became clear that the workers and the management were not taking the talks seriously

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106. At 1:17pm on 22 Oct 2009, GervaseFen wrote:
They threw me out of Alcoholics' Anonymous when I took my red nose off

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107. At 1:18pm on 22 Oct 2009, MightyGiddyUpGal wrote:
I just love Boris Johnson, don't you?

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108. At 1:18pm on 22 Oct 2009, BaldoBingham wrote:
I was going to get one of those iPhones, but I didn't want to look ridiculous.

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109. At 1:18pm on 22 Oct 2009, Lloyd-Barnes wrote:
The Public’s perception of the workers and management was easily personified

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110. At 1:19pm on 22 Oct 2009, MightyGiddyUpGal wrote:
How did I know the head chef was a clown? The food tasted funny...

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111. At 1:19pm on 22 Oct 2009, GervaseFen wrote:
But I think Comic Relief has rather debased the vulgar fun of the red nose concept

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112. At 1:19pm on 22 Oct 2009, Magnum Carter wrote:
"Turns out everyone came in to 'Send in the Clowns', I thought I was being ironic"

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113. At 1:20pm on 22 Oct 2009, Kapitank wrote:
Uncle Sam stole the show with his helium rendition of Stars and Stripes as Bobo exclaimed, "Dammit Toto! I don't care if you have a bunion, I told you nobody would take us seriously in pink shoes!"

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114. At 1:20pm on 22 Oct 2009, youngWillz wrote:
Pierrot Cardin Fashion Show

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115. At 1:20pm on 22 Oct 2009, Clarence_E_Pitts wrote:
Ronald McDonald made a faux pas by not coming in person. Even Colonel Saunders had made the effort.

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116. At 1:21pm on 22 Oct 2009, rogueslr wrote:
And then I gave this nun a piggy back through the floods, it made the front page of The Sun, 'Virgin on the Ridiculous' was the headline.

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117. At 1:23pm on 22 Oct 2009, MightyGiddyUpGal wrote:
"Years of giant wilted daisies, hand buzzers and coins from behind the ear and she has the nerve to say I never took the relationship seriously."

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118. At 1:23pm on 22 Oct 2009, astoundingAndi wrote:
"Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right...."

"Are you alright, Mr. Griffin?"

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119. At 1:24pm on 22 Oct 2009, rogueslr wrote:
With that name, how was I supposed to know that Coco Chanel was a dress designer?

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120. At 1:25pm on 22 Oct 2009, Clarence_E_Pitts wrote:
118 and 118 seek alternative employment

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121. At 1:27pm on 22 Oct 2009, GervaseFen wrote:
Space was OK, but I hate playing venues with no atmosphere

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122. At 1:30pm on 22 Oct 2009, Steele Hawker wrote:
We shouldn't both have come as Matt Lucas

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123. At 1:30pm on 22 Oct 2009, Robin Johnston wrote:
"Why did Simon Cowell have to say that we were just a couple of clowns? I've never been so humiliated".

"Never mind, there's Louie. Let's go and ask him what he thought".

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124. At 1:31pm on 22 Oct 2009, Londonfriday23 wrote:
'Yeh, so he said he was tall, dark and handsome and would be holding a yellow balloon...'

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125. At 1:33pm on 22 Oct 2009, haggis1876 wrote:
Matt Lucas is the director of Star Wars VII

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126. At 1:34pm on 22 Oct 2009, jtotheglo wrote:
"Nearly ready? NEARLY READY?! Well I hope your happy. We've just missed the entire first act!"

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127. At 1:35pm on 22 Oct 2009, jtotheglo wrote:
You must have alot of trouble finding shoes that big!

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128. At 1:36pm on 22 Oct 2009, jtotheglo wrote:
Krusty thought that Celebrity Wife Swap must have been at least a little bit better than normal life. He was wrong!

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129. At 1:36pm on 22 Oct 2009, haggis1876 wrote:
Matt Lucas is the new star and director of Star Wars VII-The Clown Wars

(Sent the last one by mistake,sorry)

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130. At 1:40pm on 22 Oct 2009, ManxDave57 wrote:
Judges start to arrive for the annual Boy George look alike competition.

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131. At 1:43pm on 22 Oct 2009, MissusN wrote:
I don't think you're scary. Well, maybe just a little bit...

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132. At 1:46pm on 22 Oct 2009, ManxDave57 wrote:
Swine Flu? Well I am feeling a bit funny.

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133. At 1:47pm on 22 Oct 2009, ManxDave57 wrote:
Patrick Moore was sure that nobody would see through his disguise.

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134. At 1:49pm on 22 Oct 2009, haggis1876 wrote:
The water bombers last moments caught on cctv

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135. At 1:49pm on 22 Oct 2009, ManxDave57 wrote:
Did you know that 95% of the population are scared of clowns? The rest are clowns.

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136. At 1:54pm on 22 Oct 2009, Whitbylassie wrote:
" Boy, that was some conference."

"Yes, we can say what we like and promise the world seeing as no-one knows who we are!.."

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137. At 1:55pm on 22 Oct 2009, MightyGiddyUpGal wrote:
"Great, another Powerpoint dog and pony show."

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138. At 1:56pm on 22 Oct 2009, Steele Hawker wrote:
I had to sell the car. The doors falling off isn't funny when it automatically activates the air bags.

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139. At 1:57pm on 22 Oct 2009, Steele Hawker wrote:
So I was forced to pursue my claim against Joey through the Clown Courts

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140. At 2:02pm on 22 Oct 2009, johnnybravojo wrote:
I just don't see why the mail strike should prevent us from being sent in

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141. At 2:02pm on 22 Oct 2009, jtotheglo wrote:
Don't worry Colin. We'll find your yellow balloon soon...

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142. At 2:02pm on 22 Oct 2009, johnnybravojo wrote:
Love your new look - so now.

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143. At 2:04pm on 22 Oct 2009, Magnum Carter wrote:
Some felt La Roux's styling had now gone a little beyond nostalgic.

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144. At 2:05pm on 22 Oct 2009, jtotheglo wrote:
Nowadays even Santa had to hire decoys just to draw attention from him at the theatre.

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145. At 2:07pm on 22 Oct 2009, Rockahula wrote:
Weird old man with a balloon? Check. Two creepy clowns? Check. Sinister seventies decor? Check. Yes, Helen was sure that this would be a birthday her horrible little brother wouldn't forget in a hurry...

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146. At 2:13pm on 22 Oct 2009, Steele Hawker wrote:
The surgeon who did my haemorrhoids this morning? Yes, an old guy with a beard. How did you know?

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147. At 2:14pm on 22 Oct 2009, rogueslr wrote:
Don't you just hate it when people confuse us for Law Lords?

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148. At 2:15pm on 22 Oct 2009, Spockter Doc wrote:
"So Cilla, will it be Contestant No.1, who is game for a laugh or will it be Contestant No.2 who likes putting custard down his trousers, or will it be Contestant No.3 who only works on Christmas Eve?"

When Susan heard that voice over she started to fear the worst.

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149. At 2:16pm on 22 Oct 2009, Discombobulator wrote:
I tell you the result was rigged. We spent thousands of pounds on outfits, rehearsed for months and we get no laughs. That guy spends 20p on a balloon, he stands on one foot and he gets a standing ovation.

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150. At 2:18pm on 22 Oct 2009, Rockahula wrote:
Visage all set for comeback gig.

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151. At 2:24pm on 22 Oct 2009, Spockter Doc wrote:
Although John & Edward were desperate to stay in the X Factor but weren't sure their new costumes would work.

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152. At 2:30pm on 22 Oct 2009, chilterncheese wrote:
We're going to have to re-think that routine. Sliding down the bannisters has played havoc with my hairdo.

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153. At 2:31pm on 22 Oct 2009, Steele Hawker wrote:
If only we could get Drunk Girl in our act ...

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154. At 2:32pm on 22 Oct 2009, chilterncheese wrote:
Heads, Shoulders, Knees and Toes, Knees and Toes ...

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155. At 2:35pm on 22 Oct 2009, ManxDave57 wrote:
See that guy arriving with the long beard and cowboy hat, doesn’t he look ridiculous.

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156. At 2:38pm on 22 Oct 2009, dyslexic pines wrote:
"I told you not to bring a balloon to Anfield"

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157. At 2:40pm on 22 Oct 2009, Rockahula wrote:
"Twelff thurrty eeyut in thuh Big Bruthah house; Guiseppe is talkin' tuh KoKoh aboot last night's balloowun task..."

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158. At 2:40pm on 22 Oct 2009, ManxDave57 wrote:
When ugly Geishas meet.

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159. At 2:45pm on 22 Oct 2009, ManxDave57 wrote:
Cirque du Soleil present The Mikado

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160. At 2:45pm on 22 Oct 2009, grazvalentine wrote:
The David Lynch fan club AGM.

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161. At 2:48pm on 22 Oct 2009, BeckySnow wrote:
Costume hire firm hit by postal strike - old man feels decidedly under-dressed.

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162. At 2:48pm on 22 Oct 2009, grazvalentine wrote:
I see you enjoy gardening.

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163. At 2:49pm on 22 Oct 2009, BeckySnow wrote:
You're never too old to have fun with a water bomb.

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164. At 2:49pm on 22 Oct 2009, BeckySnow wrote:
George Dawes's great aunts take the weight off their feet.

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165. At 2:50pm on 22 Oct 2009, BeckySnow wrote:
Phantom lady glides the Handrail to Nowhere.

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166. At 2:52pm on 22 Oct 2009, NickR wrote:
The auditions for the role of Coco in the Fame remake were not going well, but at least they had their Shorofsky.

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167. At 2:55pm on 22 Oct 2009, BeckySnow wrote:
A typical lineup on Later With Jools Holland.

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168. At 2:56pm on 22 Oct 2009, grazvalentine wrote:
Looks like Fred's going to do his miniature space hopper routine yet again!

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169. At 2:56pm on 22 Oct 2009, Steele Hawker wrote:
Well, do you think we'll have to moderate anybody this week, Coco?

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170. At 2:58pm on 22 Oct 2009, ZingyZangyZongy wrote:
Well, nobody in the Operatic Society told me they'd switched to "The Pirates of Penzance" either

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171. At 3:00pm on 22 Oct 2009, omegabtbbba wrote:
That's hilarious, Mick Fleetwood wearing a suit and tie!

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172. At 3:03pm on 22 Oct 2009, ZingyZangyZongy wrote:
Old guy leaves the toilets after the two clowns have been there complaining "There's a funny smell in there"

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173. At 3:04pm on 22 Oct 2009, kpderry wrote:
Jordan thought it was a good idea to try out Alex's hobby........

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174. At 3:04pm on 22 Oct 2009, ZingyZangyZongy wrote:
You're right - we geisha men have had our day

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175. At 3:09pm on 22 Oct 2009, Go Away Gordon Brown wrote:
George Michael vision...

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176. At 3:12pm on 22 Oct 2009, Go Away Gordon Brown wrote:
Who knew the Liberal Democrats conference would be like this....

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177. At 3:13pm on 22 Oct 2009, j-o-n-a-t-h-a-n wrote:
Tea break's over lads. Time to go back in and judge this weeks Caption Competition.

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178. At 3:14pm on 22 Oct 2009, Dodie_James wrote:
As she walked down the stairs, Maureen was really looking forward to her first ‘Speed Dating’ evening..

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179. At 3:25pm on 22 Oct 2009, Gareth Butler wrote:
Questions were raised regarding the sponsors as England's World Cup strip was unveiled.......

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180. At 3:27pm on 22 Oct 2009, BeckySnow wrote:
Delegates were disappointed with their goody bags this year - a sub-Kinder plastic toy and a bag of carrot sticks.

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181. At 3:31pm on 22 Oct 2009, SMHGarp wrote:
The 'Balloon Man' Hoax was a little easier to spot this time.

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182. At 3:31pm on 22 Oct 2009, Dodie_James wrote:
You can laugh, the Job Centre said it was this or be a premiership referee..

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183. At 3:33pm on 22 Oct 2009, rogueslr wrote:
Damn, he's a good lawyer. Got me twenty grand for slipping on a banana skin at work and a further ten for the incident with the bucket of water.

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184. At 3:38pm on 22 Oct 2009, dyslexic pines wrote:
"Now that's what I call funny!"

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185. At 3:39pm on 22 Oct 2009, Rockahula wrote:
Infirm Clown Posse.

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186. At 3:51pm on 22 Oct 2009, BeckySnow wrote:
Did you come by car?

Yes - me and two hundred friends hired a surprisingly roomy Corsa.

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187. At 3:51pm on 22 Oct 2009, smashingpotatoes wrote:
To counteract the theatre's stale odour he decided to release some Scottish highland air into the atmosphere at the interval.

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188. At 3:57pm on 22 Oct 2009, MightyGiddyUpGal wrote:
The rest of the group is still stuck in the Mini

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189. At 4:04pm on 22 Oct 2009, ZingyZangyZongy wrote:
When I had my appendix removed, I asked if I could keep it - I think my father is going to ask the same after his operation for water on the knee

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190. At 4:07pm on 22 Oct 2009, ZingyZangyZongy wrote:
You don't think the shoes are a bit of a give-away that we're plain-clothes coppers?

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191. At 4:08pm on 22 Oct 2009, BeckySnow wrote:
At the Overcome Your Phobia workshops there were doubts about Mr Globophobia’s method of sneaking up and bashing people around the head with a balloon.

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192. At 4:09pm on 22 Oct 2009, ZingyZangyZongy wrote:
Doesn't that Amy Winehouse look ridiculous?

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193. At 4:11pm on 22 Oct 2009, Rockahula wrote:
Okay, don't turn round just yet but an old bloke's just walked in and you're not going to believe the hat he's wearing...

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194. At 4:13pm on 22 Oct 2009, Nick Fowler wrote:
How did I know you had to wear a tie?

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195. At 4:14pm on 22 Oct 2009, Nick Fowler wrote:
Well I reckon Gene Hunt's got it all wrong with his "Good cop, silly cop" routine

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196. At 4:20pm on 22 Oct 2009, Dodie_James wrote:
How’s the daughter? Oh, she’s fine, studying Social Anthropology at Cardiff. But you know, quiet girl, keeps herself to herself - reckon she needs to get out a bit more..

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197. At 4:30pm on 22 Oct 2009, jtotheglo wrote:
I don't mean to alarm you Deirdre, but I think I might need to call Frank...

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198. At 4:32pm on 22 Oct 2009, KaptainKaption wrote:
You have to feel sorry for Pedro if he thinks he's going to impress the judges with that pathetic old elephant-testicle gag.

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199. At 4:32pm on 22 Oct 2009, Nick Fowler wrote:
So, after 'Finding Nemo' was released, I went to a lot of kids' parties with my rod and line, but it turned out the kids' parents had misunderstood what they really wanted

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200. At 4:37pm on 22 Oct 2009, KaptainKaption wrote:
He's just like a big kid. Flicks his enormous bogeys at the back of your head and then pretends to be a balloon-seller.

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201. At 4:39pm on 22 Oct 2009, KaptainKaption wrote:
Ye haven't seen me other leg anywhere, have ye?

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202. At 4:39pm on 22 Oct 2009, Liam wrote:
"I don't know any more... Life's just so uneventful..."
"You gotta remember, life's just one big pie!'

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203. At 4:40pm on 22 Oct 2009, Nick Fowler wrote:
No, there's already a Coco ... and a Bobo. What about Syco?

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204. At 4:42pm on 22 Oct 2009, Nick Fowler wrote:
The two designers who think up all the names for IKEA furniture take a break from the office

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205. At 4:43pm on 22 Oct 2009, Japanbytes wrote:
Hell - we forgot the balloons!

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206. At 4:43pm on 22 Oct 2009, Nick Fowler wrote:
It's no fun any more. You can walk around Swansea wearing whatever you like now, and nobody attacks you.

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207. At 4:44pm on 22 Oct 2009, Nick Fowler wrote:
Yeah, we can't afford to give away balloons any more - that's inflation for you

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208. At 4:45pm on 22 Oct 2009, archstinker wrote:

Mandy to Gordon.... isnt it rich ? are we a pair ?

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209. At 4:46pm on 22 Oct 2009, hainba wrote:
Yellow balloons and the Man from Delmonte look are so last year darling!

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210. At 4:46pm on 22 Oct 2009, KaptainKaption wrote:
I'm not sure eating those genetically-modified baked beans was such a great idea. I reckon most people were just taking them away as souvenirs.

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211. At 4:51pm on 22 Oct 2009, eattherich wrote:
Delboy and Rodney arrive at yet another wake, inappropriately dressed.

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212. At 4:52pm on 22 Oct 2009, eattherich wrote:
Clown convention? No, I'm here for the BBC Test Card auditions.

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213. At 4:53pm on 22 Oct 2009, KaptainKaption wrote:
Yeah, skiing is fine, but I generally give rock climbing a miss.

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214. At 4:53pm on 22 Oct 2009, eattherich wrote:
Tsk! That rockerbilly quiff is so last year!

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215. At 5:00pm on 22 Oct 2009, KaptainKaption wrote:
I tried Mr Darling's scrappage scheme, but I think they started to smell a rat at the garage when I showed up after the matinee AND the evening performance yesterday.

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216. At 5:00pm on 22 Oct 2009, smashingpotatoes wrote:
The drummer from ZZ Top finally grew a beard, with helium growth therapy

And the other two members...

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217. At 5:00pm on 22 Oct 2009, eattherich wrote:
Two wallflowers at the Tory post-conference party wait patiently for their first dance.

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218. At 5:01pm on 22 Oct 2009, Jo Johnson wrote:
"I don't know why i bother coming, no-one takes me seriously".

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219. At 5:01pm on 22 Oct 2009, Kieran Boyle wrote:
"...and the doctor reckons I've been anemic for years."

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220. At 5:02pm on 22 Oct 2009, eattherich wrote:
A Trifle chats with a Knicker Bocker Glory at the Great British Desserts fancy dress ball

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221. At 5:03pm on 22 Oct 2009, Jo Johnson wrote:
'Koo Klux' was a strange name for a clown!

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222. At 5:06pm on 22 Oct 2009, eattherich wrote:
Sir Thomas Legg's spin doctors get ready to deal with the MP's backlash over expenses.

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223. At 5:17pm on 22 Oct 2009, BeckySnow wrote:
Guests arrive for the birthday celebrations of Elton John tribute artist.

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224. At 5:21pm on 22 Oct 2009, fionabaird wrote:
Two recent participants in Mexico's anti-cartel Witness Protection Program congratulate each other over their new fool-proof identities.

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225. At 5:40pm on 22 Oct 2009, smashingpotatoes wrote:
"This Tippex is a pain to get off but its worth for the high then its being applied!"

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226. At 5:42pm on 22 Oct 2009, Jags666 wrote:
"Quick! Quick! He's Here. Oh Mr. Geppetto.."

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227. At 5:53pm on 22 Oct 2009, Magnum Carter wrote:
The 'How do you solve a problem like SlipKnot's hype-man?' pilot did not get off to a good start...

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228. At 5:54pm on 22 Oct 2009, SkarloeyLine wrote:
Female clerk: "Registrar, please - lose the balloon. This couple will think you're not taking their ceremony seriously."

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229. At 6:52pm on 22 Oct 2009, Luke_L wrote:
So I said to him, "No Officer, they don't. Does your head go all the way to the top of your helmet?"

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230. At 7:15pm on 22 Oct 2009, cschanno wrote:
Delegates from the Farsist Party await their appearance on Question Time.

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231. At 7:49pm on 22 Oct 2009, BloggerDom wrote:
Honestly it's a good little motor, all four wheels fall off on ignition, both doors always fall outwards and the back-fire is solid.... sometimes I must admit the steering wheel will take a bit of pulling before it comes off in your hands and the mounted squirty flower is a bit water hungry, but bottom line Clarence.....is she's a real babe magnet.

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232. At 8:14pm on 22 Oct 2009, redalfa147 wrote:
No, I said TWO sugars.

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233. At 8:30pm on 22 Oct 2009, redalfa147 wrote:
Can you smell something funny?

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234. At 8:35pm on 22 Oct 2009, redalfa147 wrote:
I told you Trinny and Susannah are past their best, but did you listen to me?

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235. At 8:36pm on 22 Oct 2009, Nick Fowler wrote:
But I thought the whole point was that people weren't supposed to laugh ...

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236. At 8:37pm on 22 Oct 2009, Nick Fowler wrote:
But why should I apply for a CRB? Children are supposed to be frightened by me.

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237. At 8:40pm on 22 Oct 2009, Nick Fowler wrote:
It's strange that these earthlings seem so happy to accept us

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238. At 8:40pm on 22 Oct 2009, Nick Fowler wrote:
I'm afraid I've made a bit of a fool of myself

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239. At 8:48pm on 22 Oct 2009, JeremiahJobling wrote:
I feel so depressed I might just big top myself

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240. At 8:50pm on 22 Oct 2009, JeremiahJobling wrote:
Well, he's got a beard and a ball. so I suppose he could be David Beckham

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241. At 8:51pm on 22 Oct 2009, JeremiahJobling wrote:
I just feel I need a bit more colour in my drab old life

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242. At 8:54pm on 22 Oct 2009, BaldoBingham wrote:
Well, it was either community service and this, or an ASBO.

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243. At 9:02pm on 22 Oct 2009, ClockworkBanana wrote:
I must've put me pinks in with me green hankies

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244. At 9:06pm on 22 Oct 2009, ClockworkBanana wrote:
I hate appearing in Terry Gilliam films

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245. At 9:14pm on 22 Oct 2009, redalfa147 wrote:
I'm Juan. Are you Juan too?

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246. At 9:18pm on 22 Oct 2009, redalfa147 wrote:
Rafael thought Enrique had let one go, but hadn't seen Miguel, the ballon ventriloquist, walk by.

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247. At 9:25pm on 22 Oct 2009, nerdsunited wrote:
Lady at back: "Damn I forgot my yellow balloon".

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248. At 9:27pm on 22 Oct 2009, sarahtrieste wrote:
I'm a Punk Rocker. What are you?

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249. At 9:37pm on 22 Oct 2009, sarahtrieste wrote:
I AM standing up!

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250. At 9:40pm on 22 Oct 2009, sarahtrieste wrote:
Oh, he was the 1001st entrant, and so got the balloon.

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251. At 9:41pm on 22 Oct 2009, sarahtrieste wrote:
Yoù can tell he's a virgin entrant - he's still got a balloon....

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252. At 10:07pm on 22 Oct 2009, Hobbitmorley wrote:
Striped mantyhose is so last week....

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253. At 10:15pm on 22 Oct 2009, ClockworkBanana wrote:
Yet another use for the forward slash - getting clowns upstairs

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254. At 10:20pm on 22 Oct 2009, ClockworkBanana wrote:
George, I told you you'd got it wrong - the sign said Clownstairs, not Downstairs

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255. At 10:37pm on 22 Oct 2009, generalhague wrote:
Nick Griffin was disappointed to discover that he was to share the Question Time debate with other minority parties.

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256. At 10:48pm on 22 Oct 2009, generalhague wrote:
Following the tragic Big Top multiple clown car accident, the ringside police prepare to breathalyse the drivers.

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257. At 11:08pm on 22 Oct 2009, Rustikins wrote:
Nick Griffin confers with an aide in preparation for Question Time.

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258. At 11:34pm on 22 Oct 2009, Infense wrote:
"Don't look now Bozo but that guy has one of those new over-sized clown noses we have been hearing about"

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259. At 11:39pm on 22 Oct 2009, Infense wrote:
Yosemite Sam took a wrong turn at Albuquerque...

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260. At 11:54pm on 22 Oct 2009, chocolatebunny1984 wrote:
At least your hat's original, unlike his.

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261. At 11:58pm on 22 Oct 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
So you were a media studies grad, too?

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262. At 00:05am on 23 Oct 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
Jester another day in the big city

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263. At 00:06am on 23 Oct 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
Yeah, too right, Harpo was robbed.

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264. At 00:08am on 23 Oct 2009, LaurenceLane wrote:
The escape committee is going to receive a stiff letter of complaint about these disguises.

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265. At 00:09am on 23 Oct 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
A wait is a terrible thing to mime

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266. At 00:09am on 23 Oct 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
So who's this Godot anyway?

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267. At 00:11am on 23 Oct 2009, Ruthstabb wrote:
Louis Walsh has the groups again.

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268. At 00:15am on 23 Oct 2009, Ruthstabb wrote:
Acts waiting to go on the Royal Variety Performance are in rehearsals along side their doubles. Its going to be a cracker of a year!

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269. At 00:15am on 23 Oct 2009, redalfa147 wrote:
Rafael thought Enrique had let one go, but hadn't seen Miguel, the balloon ventriloquist, walk by.

(spelling correction for #246)

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270. At 00:26am on 23 Oct 2009, littleDickie wrote:
"I'm pretty nearly speechless...!"

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271. At 00:28am on 23 Oct 2009, littleDickie wrote:
It started as a mallet target...you know, to ring the bell at the top!

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272. At 00:29am on 23 Oct 2009, littleDickie wrote:
"I entered us for the Hokey-Cokey as well."

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273. At 00:38am on 23 Oct 2009, DerekH wrote:
"Thing is, nowadays, you'd find Salman Rushdie with a balloon gets more laughs that we do"

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274. At 00:40am on 23 Oct 2009, DerekH wrote:
"Thing is, nowadays, you'd find Salman Rushdie with a balloon gets more laughs than we do"

(Darn those typos that only appear AFTER you've pressed SEND!)

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275. At 00:42am on 23 Oct 2009, DerekH wrote:
L'Oreal Green Hair Mousse.
Because you're worth it.

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276. At 00:52am on 23 Oct 2009, MightyGiddyUpGal wrote:
Actually, I wanted to be a bullfighter, but Gran thought this was a bit safer.

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277. At 01:20am on 23 Oct 2009, MightyGiddyUpGal wrote:
Alas, poor Ronaldo, I knew him well.

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278. At 01:29am on 23 Oct 2009, redalfa147 wrote:
Grandad needs to get his hearing sorted out - this is a convention for baffoons, not balloons!

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279. At 01:31am on 23 Oct 2009, redalfa147 wrote:
If one more person tells me the 'cannibal eating a clown' joke, I'll swing for them.

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280. At 01:33am on 23 Oct 2009, redalfa147 wrote:
Usherettes at the Royal Festival Hall thought they said it was 'Dress Clown Friday'.

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281. At 01:34am on 23 Oct 2009, redalfa147 wrote:
Grandad needs to get his hearing sorted out - this is a convention for buffoons, not balloons!

(correction for #278)

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282. At 01:40am on 23 Oct 2009, redalfa147 wrote:
...and then they kicked me out of the convention saying I wasn't taking it seriously enough.

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283. At 01:43am on 23 Oct 2009, redalfa147 wrote:
I'm not worried about being a La Familia clown, so long as those sniffer dogs stay away from my make-up.

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284. At 01:48am on 23 Oct 2009, redalfa147 wrote:
I didn't get the job. They said my attire wasn't appropirate to be a gynecologist.

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285. At 01:58am on 23 Oct 2009, Vicky Singing you to Sleep wrote:
Nick Griffin's appearance on Question Time led to a whole new membership stream.

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286. At 01:59am on 23 Oct 2009, redalfa147 wrote:
Isn't it rich? Are we a pair? Me at the end of the aisle, him on the stair. He aint a clown.

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287. At 02:02am on 23 Oct 2009, Vicky Singing you to Sleep wrote:
"That's a coincidence! I used to be in UKIP too!"

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288. At 02:03am on 23 Oct 2009, Vicky Singing you to Sleep wrote:
correction to 287

"That's a coincidence! I'm in UKIP too!"

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289. At 02:05am on 23 Oct 2009, Vicky Singing you to Sleep wrote:
"Yes, I got fed up with putting make up on everyday too, so I got Wedgewood to knock me up a new head."

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290. At 02:08am on 23 Oct 2009, Vicky Singing you to Sleep wrote:
"Can you imagine anyone choosing tasteless carpet like this ?"

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291. At 02:10am on 23 Oct 2009, Vicky Singing you to Sleep wrote:
"Bunions! Don't talk to me about bunions."

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292. At 02:12am on 23 Oct 2009, penny-farthing wrote:
Fernando,one of the judges,loved his balloon-bait trick.It really sorted out the clowns from the.....not-very-good ones.

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293. At 02:13am on 23 Oct 2009, Vicky Singing you to Sleep wrote:
"Don't look now. Incoming naff tie alert."

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294. At 03:28am on 23 Oct 2009, penny-farthing wrote:
The recession has been tough on our circus friends....cutbacks,lay-offs,dwindling audiences.The clowns have been affected badly....custard-pies just aren't thrown with the same gusto, 4-seat clown cars have been seen with...well,four clowns inside.Depression is prevalent in this community.However,at the "We'll have you guffawing,tripping and slapping in no time" School for Clowns,classes are about to begin.

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295. At 06:41am on 23 Oct 2009, SkarloeyLine wrote:
Pip and Joey waited anxiously for the specialist to emerge with news of the tumour found under Coco's wig.

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296. At 07:30am on 23 Oct 2009, rogueslr wrote:
What are you charged with? Loitering with intent.

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297. At 07:31am on 23 Oct 2009, rogueslr wrote:
Dad, you can't retire yet, I could never fill your shoes.

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298. At 07:33am on 23 Oct 2009, rogueslr wrote:
I love your look, where did you get the idea from?
Have you heard of Barbara Cartland?

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299. At 07:57am on 23 Oct 2009, jtotheglo wrote:
The latest L'Oreal models should have gone to Specsavers...

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300. At 08:05am on 23 Oct 2009, RMutt-Urinal wrote:
Billy Hayes and Adam Crozier sit together waiting to be called into their meeting at ACAS.

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301. At 08:06am on 23 Oct 2009, SeanieSmith wrote:
"Yeah, the new Japanese clown car has been a nightmare - it never seems to break down."

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302. At 08:19am on 23 Oct 2009, SeanieSmith wrote:
"Hey, is that the young fella we saw before we went into the dressing room?"

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303. At 08:25am on 23 Oct 2009, stuartdobbs wrote:
The audition turnout for David Lynch’s latest movie was lower than expected

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304. At 08:26am on 23 Oct 2009, GreatUncleBulgariaJr wrote:
Unfortunately, Nick Griffin's minders weren't allowed to accompany him into the Question Time studio.

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305. At 08:28am on 23 Oct 2009, GreatUncleBulgariaJr wrote:
Would be cosmonauts nervously await the results of the selection process.

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306. At 08:30am on 23 Oct 2009, stuartdobbs wrote:
Clown on the left to the other clown:

“Here, look at that guy with the balloon, he looks ridiculous doesn’t he?!”

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307. At 08:32am on 23 Oct 2009, GreatUncleBulgariaJr wrote:
Gary and Martin Kemp had to agree that allowing Tony Hadley to choose their outfits for the reunion concerts may not have been a good idea

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308. At 08:35am on 23 Oct 2009, SeanieSmith wrote:
"Hey fellas, this is the Convention for Comic Anachronisms, right? Yeee Haaa!"

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309. At 08:49am on 23 Oct 2009, stuartdobbs wrote:
Dejected clown on the right:

“I just can’t believe I forgot the balloons, what kind of clown doesn’t have a balloon, this is a disaster”

Other clown:

“Don’t worry Larry, we’ll be fine. So what he’s got a balloon, we’ve got big shoes!”

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310. At 08:51am on 23 Oct 2009, haggis1876 wrote:
Remember iced gems?

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311. At 08:56am on 23 Oct 2009, haggis1876 wrote:
Colostomy? It's not my bag.

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312. At 09:00am on 23 Oct 2009, stuartdobbs wrote:
Spotting the clowns, the man with the beard conceded his act at the children’s party was going to be a little underwhelming. Still, his Colonel Sanders impersonation was spot on he assured himself, "and all five year olds love Colonel Sanders don’t they”?!

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313. At 09:01am on 23 Oct 2009, haggis1876 wrote:
Lets go out and paint the clown red they said. LOOK at me!!!

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314. At 09:07am on 23 Oct 2009, haggis1876 wrote:
Yup, ah sure showed that Cowell hombre how to hitch his pants.

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315. At 09:08am on 23 Oct 2009, SeanieSmith wrote:
"Hmmm, I put an old photo on the dating site...hope she'll still recognise me."

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316. At 09:18am on 23 Oct 2009, haggis1876 wrote:
Pennywise spotted the balloon and gurgled silently, "we all float down here"
THE END
S.King
IT 2

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317. At 09:20am on 23 Oct 2009, DerekH wrote:
I'm afraid you're mistaken - I said "Do you want a cocoa?"

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318. At 09:22am on 23 Oct 2009, DerekH wrote:
"Personally, I'm glad it's Friday - at least it's Dressing Down Day"

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319. At 09:23am on 23 Oct 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
Let's check the attic again. I'm certain he wasn't in the balloon we launched earlier.

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320. At 09:33am on 23 Oct 2009, John_Sevenoaks wrote:
"Now do you think they'll let us into the BNP?"

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321. At 09:35am on 23 Oct 2009, campaign1 wrote:
The BBC's latest Question Time panel await the arrival of Nick Griffin

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322. At 09:36am on 23 Oct 2009, campaign1 wrote:
We haven't got as hope of winning this, have you seen his tie!

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323. At 09:38am on 23 Oct 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
We're looking for Mr Pierrot. A magician sawed a woman in half upstairs then disappeared.

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324. At 09:39am on 23 Oct 2009, BaldoBingham wrote:
Let's face Frank, the Army just wasn't ready for this new camouflage look. See, they even rejected Ted's idea for a personal emergency air supply.

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325. At 09:39am on 23 Oct 2009, Kaylie wrote:
Later reports into the incident suggested that holding the Globophobic Clowns Convention on the same day as the Coulrophobic Balloon Modellers AGM might have been a mistake.

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326. At 09:40am on 23 Oct 2009, BaldoBingham wrote:
Let's face it Frank, the Army just wasn't ready for this new camouflage look. See, they even rejected Ted's idea for a personal emergency air supply.

*correction*

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327. At 09:56am on 23 Oct 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
Do you know the clowns in the picture? Call us to report lapses in humourous antics.

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328. At 10:17am on 23 Oct 2009, samanthalodge wrote:
Now they tell its a lord of the rings audition!

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329. At 10:20am on 23 Oct 2009, grebehead wrote:
I've had enough of the travelling circus, I'm running away to stay in school and go to university. Please don't hate me Daddy.

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330. At 10:23am on 23 Oct 2009, grebehead wrote:
You turned up for an interview wearing that outfit, your application form was written in invisible ink, and your answers were a joke...

You got the job! Congratulations. Vote Labour!

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331. At 10:27am on 23 Oct 2009, mckurt wrote:
Gandalf walked out of his balloon tying lecture after his magic wand was snapped in half by two class-clowns

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332. At 10:28am on 23 Oct 2009, grebehead wrote:
"...and then I found out that all the time I'd been in hospital, she'd been having an affair with Bobo behind my back. I gave up my second kidney to save her life, how could she do this to me?"

"She's made me look ridiculous"

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333. At 10:33am on 23 Oct 2009, Cheesy wrote:
As a weary Paul Daniels and Debbie McGee leave the stage to a chorus of boos, Hale & Pace grow increasingly nervous.

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334. At 10:34am on 23 Oct 2009, GervaseFen wrote:
Well done, Martin - I hear French television has offered you the starring role in "Docteur Martin"

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335. At 10:35am on 23 Oct 2009, sixfootup wrote:
What are you laughing at.....

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336. At 10:42am on 23 Oct 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
Pamela Anderson highlighting her best naked moments?

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337. At 10:56am on 23 Oct 2009, B_imbley wrote:
Having fallen on hard times, the Pet Shop Boys explore their career options.

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338. At 10:58am on 23 Oct 2009, TheRealCatherineO wrote:
It still looks nothing like Lapland but at least Santa has a beard this year.

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339. At 10:59am on 23 Oct 2009, MuteJoe wrote:
Damn car has failed it's MOT. Again.

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340. At 11:04am on 23 Oct 2009, Pendragon wrote:
I got two grand for the old jalopy under the Government's scrappage scheme, and now I find I can't buy another like it anywhere

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341. At 11:05am on 23 Oct 2009, Pendragon wrote:
I came straight from work the minute I heard about the accident

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342. At 11:13am on 23 Oct 2009, iansessford wrote:
"Aye Chihuahua!cried Pedro the oldest clown in all of Mexico as he left the auditorium, distraught, after failing to impress the judges with his `My Hilarious Yellow Balloon`routine.

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343. At 11:16am on 23 Oct 2009, Gamb0 wrote:
I'm sorry they sent me to sit outside Daddy. I didn't know it was a colostomy bag.

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344. At 11:26am on 23 Oct 2009, eattherich wrote:
Should've gone to Specsavers

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345. At 11:28am on 23 Oct 2009, eattherich wrote:
Fans remember Barbara Cartland

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346. At 11:29am on 23 Oct 2009, Ecoraven wrote:
Okay Coco, let's get this right. Who actually told you it was a fancy dress party?

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347. At 11:29am on 23 Oct 2009, South_of_river wrote:
Whilst Al Qaeda's Clown squad created a colorful distraction, Bin Laden slipped out of the building un-noticed

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348. At 11:30am on 23 Oct 2009, eattherich wrote:
Its ridiculous what you have to do to get on YouTube now.

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349. At 11:31am on 23 Oct 2009, eattherich wrote:
Per-formers, clownbots in disguise!

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350. At 11:35am on 23 Oct 2009, eattherich wrote:
Are there many here?

Yeah, there's hundreds and thousands.

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351. At 11:35am on 23 Oct 2009, Tiemti wrote:
Honestly Dave, I'll pop my cork if he asks me to do the hellium ballon routine again - my shorts just aren't baggy enough!

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352. At 11:36am on 23 Oct 2009, eattherich wrote:
Scare you? I scare myself.

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353. At 11:37am on 23 Oct 2009, IanPol wrote:
The postal strike escalates further as the postmen object to their new uniforms.

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354. At 11:37am on 23 Oct 2009, Ecoraven wrote:
Honest Dad, I didn't lose the yellow ballon, it was a really big muscley bloke in a straw hat that stole it......oh!

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355. At 11:42am on 23 Oct 2009, eattherich wrote:
Look at that, they let anyone in theses days. All you need is a balloon and you can call yourself a clown.

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356. At 11:42am on 23 Oct 2009, abbotofmelrose wrote:
Nick Griffin thinks he'll look LESS ridiculous on Question Time if he dresses up a bit.

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357. At 11:43am on 23 Oct 2009, weemalfat wrote:
With JT and Wazza modelling the new kits for South Africa, England stand once again accused of not taking the world cup bid seriously.

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358. At 11:44am on 23 Oct 2009, Pendragon wrote:
Well, it's the way Coco would have wanted to have gone after that disastrous gall-bladder operation

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359. At 11:44am on 23 Oct 2009, eattherich wrote:
The cast quietly prepare themselves for the first performance of Fruit Salad on Ice.

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360. At 11:45am on 23 Oct 2009, eattherich wrote:
Major Wardrobe Malfunction

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361. At 11:46am on 23 Oct 2009, eattherich wrote:
You here for the Customer Service job as well?

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362. At 11:46am on 23 Oct 2009, Pendragon wrote:
Well, Coco and Bobo are OK, but I'm afraid Dodo's dead

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363. At 11:50am on 23 Oct 2009, ClockworkBanana wrote:
It took me ages to find you - I said to wear a red carnation

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364. At 11:54am on 23 Oct 2009, ClockworkBanana wrote:
The Judge gave me a suspended sentence and insisted I change my name to Asbo the Clown

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365. At 11:55am on 23 Oct 2009, Mr Snoozy wrote:
Krusty and Coco had no excuse, the Billy Ballon's act out shone them in everyway.

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366. At 11:55am on 23 Oct 2009, Cheesy wrote:
The clowns realised the competition was getting fierce when Jack "Inflatable Thumb" McGraw arrived.

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367. At 11:56am on 23 Oct 2009, ClockworkBanana wrote:
Apparently, Vivienne Westwood's so last year

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368. At 11:57am on 23 Oct 2009, ClockworkBanana wrote:
The Montgolfier Brothers found someone had pinched their act

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369. At 11:58am on 23 Oct 2009, ClockworkBanana wrote:
I suppose if Peter Mandelson can come back, so can we

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370. At 11:59am on 23 Oct 2009, ClockworkBanana wrote:
Bobo had failed his Mensa entrance exam, and so had had to join Billy Thick's Circus

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371. At 12:00pm on 23 Oct 2009, chris_ballard wrote:
Nick Griffin's desire for an all-white nation is misinterpreted by BNP members.

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372. At 12:00pm on 23 Oct 2009, Tiemti wrote:
Honestly Dave, I'll pop my cork if he asks me to do the hellium balloon routine again - my shorts just aren't baggy enough!

(Spelling correction)

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373. At 12:01pm on 23 Oct 2009, DezMCMLVIII wrote:
And yet as another disappointed contestant in “Britain’s got Talent” walks away with a consolation prize for not being colourful enough. Bobo and Bingo started to panic.

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374. At 12:04pm on 23 Oct 2009, Nick Fowler wrote:
Oh yeah, complete strangers press money into my hands when Comic Relief's on

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375. At 12:06pm on 23 Oct 2009, Nick Fowler wrote:
There was no need to call us clowns just because we stood on the left on the escalator

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376. At 12:07pm on 23 Oct 2009, Nick Fowler wrote:
Then I was on two packets of wine gums a day, and my career was over

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377. At 12:15pm on 23 Oct 2009, groundhog44 wrote:
Don't these monthly FSA meetings drag on a bit.

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378. At 12:16pm on 23 Oct 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
The director slowly made his way down the stairs to deliver the devasting news that there would be no rubber chickens this year.

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379. At 12:20pm on 23 Oct 2009, Nick Fowler wrote:
Oh no, my outfit's ripped - that's the tears of a clown

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380. At 12:21pm on 23 Oct 2009, Nick Fowler wrote:
Derren Brown kept snapping his fingers but nothing happened - you too?

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381. At 12:23pm on 23 Oct 2009, Cheesy wrote:
A mercifully quiet night in A & E.

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382. At 12:23pm on 23 Oct 2009, groundhog44 wrote:
Auditions for Simon Pegg's new Star Wars parody 'Attack of the Clowns' began.

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383. At 12:24pm on 23 Oct 2009, MarkAJMullaly wrote:
Apparently, we're what Nick Griffin calls "indigenous".

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384. At 12:26pm on 23 Oct 2009, Woundedpride wrote:
"And then he said to me, 'I'm afraid we're going to have to let you go. You just don't stand out from the crowd any more'".

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385. At 12:28pm on 23 Oct 2009, eattherich wrote:
The two defendants await the Clown Court's verdict on charges of disrepute arising from being too modestly dressed.

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