Caption Competition

13:15 UK time, Friday, 17 July 2009

Winning entries in the Caption Competition.

The competition is now closed. Full rules can be seen here [PDF].

This week, a French Bulldog peeks out from the stage curtain at a dog fashion show in Taiwan. But what's being said?

Thanks to all who entered. The prize of a small amount of kudos to the following:

6. Hilaryros
"In THESE shoes? I don't think so!"

5. Candace9839
Siegfried & Roy revamp Vegas show.

4. GreatUncleBulgariaJr
"So chuck, you chose contestant number three. He's small but with a true Latin American temprament and I know you'll have a lorra, lorra fun together."

3. RMutt-Urinal
Certain members of the audience were beginning to realise that they had been conned into buying tickets which promised "Doggie Fashion - Live on Stage".

2. tomhartland
"I won't get out of my basket for anything less than ten thous... ooo, is that a biscuit??"

1. gm_coates
Spike's Eric Morecambe impression was off to a good start.

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Comments

1. At 12:01pm on 16 Jul 2009, Fauconnier wrote:
I'm not coming out until you get rid of that catwalk

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2. At 12:07pm on 16 Jul 2009, Fauconnier wrote:
And you thought Parisian models were bitchy?

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3. At 12:08pm on 16 Jul 2009, rogueslr wrote:
I hate these pick your own main course events.

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4. At 12:09pm on 16 Jul 2009, rogueslr wrote:
Peek a boo, I see stew!

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5. At 12:10pm on 16 Jul 2009, sarahtrieste wrote:
Curtain bow wow.

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6. At 12:13pm on 16 Jul 2009, Fauconnier wrote:
You mean this lot are willing to pay these prices? They must be barking.

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7. At 12:13pm on 16 Jul 2009, KayFilex wrote:
The audience lacked pedigree

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8. At 12:14pm on 16 Jul 2009, LaurenceLane wrote:
As Greta Garbo used to say 'I want to be on a lawn.'

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9. At 12:15pm on 16 Jul 2009, sarahtrieste wrote:
Can't a dog see a man in peace?

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10. At 12:17pm on 16 Jul 2009, Fauconnier wrote:
What do I know about fashion ? Armani a dog.

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11. At 12:18pm on 16 Jul 2009, NorfolkOnce wrote:
Ladies and Gentleman, is there a Vet in the house?

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12. At 12:18pm on 16 Jul 2009, Fauconnier wrote:
Gucci? No, this is poochy.

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13. At 12:19pm on 16 Jul 2009, LaurenceLane wrote:
And still no one suspects, that I am, the Scarlet Pimpernel.

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14. At 12:20pm on 16 Jul 2009, Magnum Carter wrote:
"Thank you I'm here all week, don't forget to nip your waitress."

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15. At 12:20pm on 16 Jul 2009, SimonRooke wrote:
There's never a tree when you really want one?

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16. At 12:20pm on 16 Jul 2009, Fauconnier wrote:
Miu Miu? That's OK. I thought you said Miaou Miaou.

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17. At 12:21pm on 16 Jul 2009, sarahtrieste wrote:
I've been collared!

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18. At 12:21pm on 16 Jul 2009, NorfolkOnce wrote:
Watch out lads, there's a ruff crowd in tonight..

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19. At 12:24pm on 16 Jul 2009, sarahtrieste wrote:
No cat calls allowed!

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20. At 12:25pm on 16 Jul 2009, Donleavey wrote:
It's Ken Dog.

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21. At 12:26pm on 16 Jul 2009, Magnum Carter wrote:
"Is it me that's getting smaller or is this handbag getting bigger?"

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22. At 12:27pm on 16 Jul 2009, seanrichards wrote:
I don't care if Vivienne Westwood DID design it! I'm not going out there wearing a diamond studded nappy and matching basque...

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23. At 12:27pm on 16 Jul 2009, ValerieGanne wrote:
Are you ready for me on the dogwalk?

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24. At 12:29pm on 16 Jul 2009, ValerieGanne wrote:
Have you seen what they want me to wear? It leaves absolutely nothing to the imagination!

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25. At 12:30pm on 16 Jul 2009, Magnum Carter wrote:
"oh its nothing really, just a walkies-on part"

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26. At 12:30pm on 16 Jul 2009, sarahtrieste wrote:
I'm waiting for Dogot.

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27. At 12:30pm on 16 Jul 2009, ValerieGanne wrote:
It's a tree I want, not Leaves St. Laurent

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28. At 12:31pm on 16 Jul 2009, ValerieGanne wrote:
After this, Cruft's will have to be renamed Scruffs

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29. At 12:32pm on 16 Jul 2009, SimonRooke wrote:
Typical, it happens everytime, I surrender to a German Shepherd and then get rescued by an English Setter and an American Pit Bull.

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30. At 12:32pm on 16 Jul 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
Has anybody seen Paris?

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31. At 12:33pm on 16 Jul 2009, ValerieGanne wrote:
And I'm wearing an original Yves St. Bernard

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32. At 12:34pm on 16 Jul 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
New Taco Bell CEO named

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33. At 12:35pm on 16 Jul 2009, ValerieGanne wrote:
Oh no! I can see some animal rights activists out there, and I'm wearing fur.

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34. At 12:37pm on 16 Jul 2009, PendragonF wrote:
Great! I can see representatives from all the top Paris fashion doghouses out here.

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35. At 12:37pm on 16 Jul 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
I don't care how many times you call me, I'm not coming until you say it in French.

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36. At 12:38pm on 16 Jul 2009, PendragonF wrote:
I think we're in luck - the sushi conveyor belt's jammed

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37. At 12:38pm on 16 Jul 2009, SimonRooke wrote:
Well, at least I've been vetted.

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38. At 12:38pm on 16 Jul 2009, sarahtrieste wrote:
I hope this isn't a butcher's convention.

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39. At 12:39pm on 16 Jul 2009, PendragonF wrote:
We've been conned again, Coco. It's a restaurant.

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40. At 12:40pm on 16 Jul 2009, PendragonF wrote:
And next on is Fifi, wearing an original Coco Chien-elle.

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41. At 12:42pm on 16 Jul 2009, PendragonF wrote:
Of course I'm not Pamper-ed - I happen to be fully house-trained

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42. At 12:42pm on 16 Jul 2009, SimonRooke wrote:
Simon Cowell presents his new saturday night show, 'The Rex Factor.'

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43. At 12:42pm on 16 Jul 2009, sarahtrieste wrote:
I'm afraid to show a leg - they might chop it off!

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44. At 12:44pm on 16 Jul 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
The new production of Carmen by Woodhouse was destined to be a howling success

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45. At 12:44pm on 16 Jul 2009, PendragonF wrote:
Unlike Paris, the Taiwan fashion scene is definitely not DOG-eat-dog

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46. At 12:45pm on 16 Jul 2009, penny-farthing wrote:
To pee or not to pee....THAT is the question.

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47. At 12:46pm on 16 Jul 2009, rogueslr wrote:
Err, is this the right theatre for 'Cats'?

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48. At 12:47pm on 16 Jul 2009, PendragonF wrote:
And I used to think style was something you jumped over

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49. At 12:48pm on 16 Jul 2009, PendragonF wrote:
I'm a fashion police-dog

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50. At 12:48pm on 16 Jul 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
The puparazzi were ruthless

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51. At 12:48pm on 16 Jul 2009, grebehead wrote:
Ok are you ready? When the curtain goes up you take the lead.

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52. At 12:48pm on 16 Jul 2009, Magnum Carter wrote:
Surprise discovery suggests new underlying cause for stagefright.

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53. At 12:49pm on 16 Jul 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
No, it's DON Pasquale actually

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54. At 12:49pm on 16 Jul 2009, rogueslr wrote:
So many legs! Must be quick to find a good looking one.

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55. At 12:50pm on 16 Jul 2009, grebehead wrote:
Dramatic paws.

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56. At 12:51pm on 16 Jul 2009, Magnum Carter wrote:
"Good luck mate, knock 'em dead, pee on a leg"

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57. At 12:52pm on 16 Jul 2009, sarahtrieste wrote:
I'm the Show's Wag.

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58. At 12:52pm on 16 Jul 2009, ManxDave57 wrote:
Could the person in seat K9 please identify themselves

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59. At 12:54pm on 16 Jul 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
Siegfried & Roy revamp Vegas show

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60. At 12:56pm on 16 Jul 2009, rogueslr wrote:
The 39 Steps is an organization of spies collecting information on behalf of the foreign office of...

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61. At 12:56pm on 16 Jul 2009, Mersonwastheperson wrote:
This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the House Rules.
62. At 12:58pm on 16 Jul 2009, MrSnoozy wrote:
Ladies and Gentlemmen, please welcome Yoda wearing this year's must have item, a collar and a corset twin set.. and an enormous grin!

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63. At 12:59pm on 16 Jul 2009, Digrgrl wrote:
I have a tail, but I'm not quite pleased with my look...

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64. At 12:59pm on 16 Jul 2009, LaurenceLane wrote:
OK, you can do this. Walk pretty and remember not to lick yourself.

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65. At 1:00pm on 16 Jul 2009, Rob Falconer wrote:
And remember, Fifi, when it comes to your big 'Singing in the Rain' number, you only swing on the lamp-post, OK?

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66. At 1:00pm on 16 Jul 2009, sunnyd1991 wrote:
The crowd weren't too impressed with this years T in the Park headliner.

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67. At 1:00pm on 16 Jul 2009, MrSnoozy wrote:
The world wide recession has even hit the cat walk, these models are dog rough...

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68. At 1:01pm on 16 Jul 2009, MrSnoozy wrote:
Le Woof!

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69. At 1:03pm on 16 Jul 2009, Rob Falconer wrote:
Fame can be so evanescent. One minute you're the catwalk queen, the next you're lunch.

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70. At 1:03pm on 16 Jul 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
Theirs was a forbidden attraction, something that could never work, but she longed for a sniff from the English bulldog on stage nevertheless

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71. At 1:04pm on 16 Jul 2009, Rob Falconer wrote:
And now, with the weather, it's Chien Lloyd.

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72. At 1:05pm on 16 Jul 2009, LaurenceLane wrote:
And next we have the supermodel, Claudia Sniffer.

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73. At 1:05pm on 16 Jul 2009, ManxDave57 wrote:
There was disappointment for the audience who turned up for Snoop's secret gig

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74. At 1:07pm on 16 Jul 2009, ManxDave57 wrote:
Pooch and Judy

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75. At 1:10pm on 16 Jul 2009, ManxDave57 wrote:
Don't put your daugher on the stage Mrs Worthington

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76. At 1:12pm on 16 Jul 2009, sarahtrieste wrote:
When I grow up I'm going to be a werewolf like Lon Chieny

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77. At 1:19pm on 16 Jul 2009, BeckySnow wrote:
As Fifi searched the audience for her folks, the Ross family, she realised with a heavy heart that Jonathan must have decided to do something more interesting with his favourite, that wretched pug Mr Pickle.

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78. At 1:24pm on 16 Jul 2009, Gresleygal wrote:
I'M NOT BEING CATTY!!!

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79. At 1:24pm on 16 Jul 2009, drvole wrote:
Michael McIntyre's particular brand of high-pitched observational comedy has endeared him to a whole new audience.

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80. At 1:25pm on 16 Jul 2009, gm_coates wrote:
I'm not coming out unless they get me a helicopter.

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81. At 1:27pm on 16 Jul 2009, Rob Falconer wrote:
Oh no, I think I've made a poodle on the floor

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82. At 1:29pm on 16 Jul 2009, jtotheglo wrote:
"Harry, I'm sorry, but your godfather wasn't dead after all, but..."

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83. At 1:29pm on 16 Jul 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
"It's curtains for you, Fifi", chuckled the cat in the balcony.

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84. At 1:29pm on 16 Jul 2009, jtotheglo wrote:
Fido didn't like the look of the new Korean buffet

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85. At 1:30pm on 16 Jul 2009, Dragndrop wrote:
Is this a dogger which I see before me?

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86. At 1:30pm on 16 Jul 2009, gm_coates wrote:
Spike's Eric Morecambe impression was off to a good start.

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87. At 1:31pm on 16 Jul 2009, jtotheglo wrote:
"OK, which one of you hid the toilet tissue?"

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88. At 1:31pm on 16 Jul 2009, Dragndrop wrote:
The Humpback of Notre Dame.

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89. At 1:32pm on 16 Jul 2009, Tonyhannon22 wrote:
"It was all or nothing for Fifi. Simon Cowell had never judged a topless chorus line but that was all about to change."

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90. At 1:32pm on 16 Jul 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
Who let the dogs pout?

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91. At 1:33pm on 16 Jul 2009, jtotheglo wrote:
Toto's impersonation of the Wizard was not well received by Dorothy

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92. At 1:34pm on 16 Jul 2009, haggis1876 wrote:
"A little help here, i've got four shoes but i can only Taiwan!!"

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93. At 1:35pm on 16 Jul 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
New undercover journo for Paris Match revealed

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94. At 1:35pm on 16 Jul 2009, Tonyhannon22 wrote:
This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the House Rules.
95. At 1:38pm on 16 Jul 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
"I say, Fifi, I don't think this is the way to loo"

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96. At 1:40pm on 16 Jul 2009, Kudosless wrote:

Where's the bone, China ?

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97. At 1:40pm on 16 Jul 2009, gm_coates wrote:
What use is staying alone in your kennel...

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98. At 1:41pm on 16 Jul 2009, gm_coates wrote:
Throw me a bone, not flowers !

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99. At 1:42pm on 16 Jul 2009, haggis1876 wrote:
...and those in the Royal Box, just rattle your dog collars

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100. At 1:44pm on 16 Jul 2009, Kudosless wrote:

Chien curtain, let me rock you
Let me rock you chien curtain
Let me rock you, I feel for you

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101. At 1:44pm on 16 Jul 2009, DiceManCometh wrote:
After years of following her around, Paris Hilton's dog decides to go solo.

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102. At 1:46pm on 16 Jul 2009, Kudosless wrote:

I asked for a Tree and a Collar in my dressing room.
Anyone know why have they given me a French flag?

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103. At 1:48pm on 16 Jul 2009, Kudosless wrote:

Anyone seen Yasmine le Bone?

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104. At 1:50pm on 16 Jul 2009, lpoc2205 wrote:
"I'm not coming out... This dress makes me look pugly."

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105. At 1:51pm on 16 Jul 2009, Rob Falconer wrote:
I'm just thrilled - there are repesentatives from all the great Paris fashion kennels out there

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106. At 1:54pm on 16 Jul 2009, Burnellroad wrote:
This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the House Rules.
107. At 1:55pm on 16 Jul 2009, Colonicus42 wrote:
Hey! I was told there would be cats walking! That the only reason I didn't bite you when you dressed me up like an idiot!

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108. At 1:58pm on 16 Jul 2009, gm_coates wrote:
The audience had turned up for a Bach recital.

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109. At 1:58pm on 16 Jul 2009, RMutt-Urinal wrote:
I'm the one with the short fat hairy legs.

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110. At 1:58pm on 16 Jul 2009, Burnellroad wrote:
Before I go all the way out, tell me, does my tail look big in this?

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111. At 2:05pm on 16 Jul 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
"I say, Fifi, I don't think this is the way to the loo"

(correction)

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112. At 2:08pm on 16 Jul 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
All that primping and preening, blow drying and brushing, posing and clipping, for this?!

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113. At 2:10pm on 16 Jul 2009, teazeldad wrote:
Even the critics had to admit, in his latest role, Jude Law was practically unrecognisable

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114. At 2:12pm on 16 Jul 2009, Rob Falconer wrote:
In the lastest "Who Do You Think You Are?" programme, Mr. Beefy travels to Taiwan, but finds he has been barking up the Wong tree

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115. At 2:12pm on 16 Jul 2009, teazeldad wrote:
I don't know why, but ever since I saw Les Miserables as a pup, I thought 'Yes. THAT's the part for me'

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116. At 2:13pm on 16 Jul 2009, RMutt-Urinal wrote:
Certain members of the audience were beginning to realise that they had been conned into buying tickets which promised 'Doggie Fashion - Live on Stage'.

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117. At 2:15pm on 16 Jul 2009, teazeldad wrote:
After a successful performance earlier in the week at the Royal Variety Performance, Bouncer was slightly perturbed to see HER, there, again in the front row. The Corgi with the worrying smile...

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118. At 2:17pm on 16 Jul 2009, haggis1876 wrote:
This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the House Rules.
119. At 2:21pm on 16 Jul 2009, presto_west_end wrote:
Non monsieur, I draw zee line at zeez union jack pants.

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120. At 2:24pm on 16 Jul 2009, welovesoup wrote:
Moments before the main act was due to go on, organisers realised their mistake as fans cheered for 'Dido'...

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121. At 2:27pm on 16 Jul 2009, BeckySnow wrote:
Bulldog Fash

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122. At 2:30pm on 16 Jul 2009, lavaboarder wrote:
Oh-Oh. A little shih tzu. Must be first night catwalk nerves

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123. At 2:31pm on 16 Jul 2009, Rockahula wrote:
It was the first night of 'Yoda: The Musical' and Martin had dried.

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124. At 2:31pm on 16 Jul 2009, Lloyd-Barnes wrote:
The worlds first pet friendly airline reveals its new captain

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125. At 2:38pm on 16 Jul 2009, thegodstoneone wrote:
This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the House Rules.
126. At 2:38pm on 16 Jul 2009, penny-farthing wrote:
Er,sorry about the noise back here,folks.We had a bit of a set-to between the Chihauhaus and a Great Dane.....'fraid we're down a Chihauhau or two.

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127. At 2:40pm on 16 Jul 2009, Spockter wrote:
And next on the catwalk, number 27... with egg fried rice.

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128. At 2:43pm on 16 Jul 2009, Spockter wrote:
World's smallest dog looks out from under owners skirt

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129. At 2:47pm on 16 Jul 2009, Rockahula wrote:
'So it's true,' thought Fifi. 'They really do put the poor people in the back of the plane...'

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130. At 2:49pm on 16 Jul 2009, Dyeb51 wrote:
Who let the humans out?

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131. At 2:50pm on 16 Jul 2009, Dyeb51 wrote:
It's true Poochie Darling, I simply can't find a thing to wear

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132. At 2:51pm on 16 Jul 2009, BeckySnow wrote:
Oh no, a coachload in from Battersea....

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133. At 2:54pm on 16 Jul 2009, Dyeb51 wrote:
This was supposed to be a Spanish Bullfighters fashion show, thats the trouble when things get lost in translation

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134. At 2:55pm on 16 Jul 2009, Rockahula wrote:
It was the first and last time that Trixie would play the Glasgow Empire.

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135. At 2:59pm on 16 Jul 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
Fifi was getting cold feet about the strip tease routine. Would they really make her take off her collar?

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136. At 3:04pm on 16 Jul 2009, littlemissfairywings wrote:
"It's Pucci, darling"

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137. At 3:06pm on 16 Jul 2009, Rockahula wrote:
Grrrrrlesque.

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138. At 3:07pm on 16 Jul 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
"Pound for pound, ladies and gentlemen, more fierce than an African lion"

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139. At 3:09pm on 16 Jul 2009, penny-farthing wrote:
Does anyone have a nice milk-bone,preferably lightly-sauteed and dipped in a runny Camembert?

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140. At 3:17pm on 16 Jul 2009, CanardOrange wrote:
Wow! Jackie Chien is really popular in Taiwan!

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141. At 3:20pm on 16 Jul 2009, Shedsey wrote:
Well, i'll ask him but i dont think he will be very keen!
Uh, he's already got one you see!

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142. At 3:24pm on 16 Jul 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
The clowns were a tough act to follow

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143. At 3:29pm on 16 Jul 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
After being laid off from the Sun, Sadie sought comfort in the shine of the footlights

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144. At 3:32pm on 16 Jul 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
The audience?! Ha! It's the vicious pack of hounds backstage that has me worried.

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145. At 3:33pm on 16 Jul 2009, LaurenceLane wrote:
I use to be a Great Dane, but I've been ill.

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146. At 3:34pm on 16 Jul 2009, Helenepitpony wrote:
This season's Heel!s were obviously not loud enough.

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147. At 3:34pm on 16 Jul 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
Haven't seen an old Victrola round have you?

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148. At 3:36pm on 16 Jul 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
Journalists, reporters and editors, oh my!

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149. At 3:38pm on 16 Jul 2009, Ruthstabb wrote:
After the long paws, it was time...

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150. At 3:40pm on 16 Jul 2009, Ruthstabb wrote:
*gulp* So this is what they call 'in the dog house'.

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151. At 3:40pm on 16 Jul 2009, lavaboarder wrote:
What a disaster! Whose idea was it to line the catwalk with trees?

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152. At 3:42pm on 16 Jul 2009, lavaboarder wrote:
And now for the contoversial poop scoop collection

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153. At 3:45pm on 16 Jul 2009, Ruthstabb wrote:
This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the House Rules.
154. At 3:50pm on 16 Jul 2009, Ruthstabb wrote:
1 2 3 4 wag 1 2 3 4 wag, lick nose, 1 2 3 4 wag scratch flea - nope I can't remember the routine, I can't do it.

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155. At 3:50pm on 16 Jul 2009, Rockahula wrote:
Henri thought that Fifi had rushed backstage rather too quickly and spying the tiny brown object on the end of the runway, his very worst suspicions were confirmed. He would never work in Paris again.

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156. At 3:53pm on 16 Jul 2009, U14072193 wrote:
Mum promised she'd come tonight

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157. At 4:16pm on 16 Jul 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
Annie - the rewrite

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158. At 4:18pm on 16 Jul 2009, General Glenn Hoddlestone 1st Flanachute Regiment wrote:
I'm not going out there, they'll have me for dinner!

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159. At 4:20pm on 16 Jul 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
Star Wars - the musical

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160. At 4:23pm on 16 Jul 2009, Jwutzke wrote:
Ginger had always counted on Fred's dancing and footwork to distract the audience... now Fred was gone.

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161. At 4:29pm on 16 Jul 2009, Rockahula wrote:
Looking on in horror as Fifi dragged herself the entire length of the runway on her bottom, Antoine remembered why he should always worm his top models before big shows.

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162. At 4:29pm on 16 Jul 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
"....So I ask the toy poodle 'How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb?' and she says 'I'll just blow in the Border collie's ear and he'll do it. And by the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.'..."

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163. At 4:31pm on 16 Jul 2009, Whistling_Neil wrote:
If you think I'd be seen dead wearing this anywhere else you must be barking.

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164. At 4:32pm on 16 Jul 2009, Whistling_Neil wrote:
Haute Coutuuuuuuuuuuuur!

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165. At 4:34pm on 16 Jul 2009, Whistling_Neil wrote:
No I haven't chewed it, it was supposed to look like this.

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166. At 4:36pm on 16 Jul 2009, Whistling_Neil wrote:
Fortunately the curtains were double lined.

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167. At 4:36pm on 16 Jul 2009, nadine7346 wrote:
The canine answer to Ernie Wise wondered if the musical number with Peter Andre would become a classic.

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168. At 4:39pm on 16 Jul 2009, singingHelbabe wrote:
Animals, the lot of them!

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169. At 4:40pm on 16 Jul 2009, nadine7346 wrote:
I see collars are STILL in.

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170. At 4:41pm on 16 Jul 2009, Prisoner_61259 wrote:
Just being careful
My mate did one of these shows in Korea, they made a meal of him!

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171. At 4:42pm on 16 Jul 2009, singingHelbabe wrote:
Sacrebleu, wrong way.

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172. At 4:43pm on 16 Jul 2009, singingHelbabe wrote:
Oh God! Why me?

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173. At 4:46pm on 16 Jul 2009, Prisoner_61259 wrote:
Britain's got talent reaches the bottom of the barrel

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174. At 4:50pm on 16 Jul 2009, SteeleHawker wrote:
When Paris Hilton was on stage, she always took her dog along just to remember where the gap between the curtains was

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175. At 4:51pm on 16 Jul 2009, SteeleHawker wrote:
Opera was all very well, but Rufus had been a Great Dane before Pavarotti sat on him

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176. At 4:51pm on 16 Jul 2009, Prisoner_61259 wrote:
A Bulldog, A Poodle, and an Irish Wolfhound are sitting in a pub...

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177. At 4:52pm on 16 Jul 2009, SteeleHawker wrote:
And, waiting in the wings, was Pegasus

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178. At 4:55pm on 16 Jul 2009, SteeleHawker wrote:
Nipper was enjoying his new job - spinning round and round on a record label had been giving him a headache

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179. At 4:56pm on 16 Jul 2009, Lloyd-Barnes wrote:
The Bruno, the Austrian Bulldog, froze suddenly when he realised he was wearing the Boxer`s shorts

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180. At 4:58pm on 16 Jul 2009, SteeleHawker wrote:
Is Doctor Who over yet?

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181. At 5:01pm on 16 Jul 2009, iansessford wrote:
"How ironic" thought Eric as he contemplated his reincarnation "Now Im the one with the short fat hairy legs".

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182. At 5:02pm on 16 Jul 2009, SteeleHawker wrote:
Backstage, the French bulldog and a German Rottweiler had been having the traditional argument as to who owned the Alsatians

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183. At 5:09pm on 16 Jul 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
My tastes in opera? Anything by Poochini.

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184. At 5:29pm on 16 Jul 2009, Hilaryros wrote:
"NOT if you're going to try that 'sawing-the-dog-in-half' trick again"

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185. At 5:38pm on 16 Jul 2009, discom8 wrote:
For tonight's performance of 'Peter Pan' the role of Nana will be played by Fifi.

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186. At 5:41pm on 16 Jul 2009, Rustikins wrote:
Line?

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187. At 5:41pm on 16 Jul 2009, frigorifico wrote:
Looks like a ruff crowd.

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188. At 5:56pm on 16 Jul 2009, tontowi wrote:
This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the House Rules.
189. At 6:01pm on 16 Jul 2009, penny-farthing wrote:
Detestable....it looks like the dog-pound out there.

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190. At 6:23pm on 16 Jul 2009, friendlyNewburylad wrote:
Claudia Sniffer looked concerned when the compare introduced her as "dish of the day"

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191. At 6:48pm on 16 Jul 2009, DavidDeeMoz wrote:
"I AM a Bulldog, I AM a Bulldog - just hope the Brits don't notice my ears"

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192. At 7:10pm on 16 Jul 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
No, wait, I do a mean Jimmy Cagney impression!

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193. At 7:34pm on 16 Jul 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
Mini unveils new French ad campaign

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194. At 7:53pm on 16 Jul 2009, nick-fowler wrote:
Come on, hop it. It's my turn on the fourth plinth from nine to ten.

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195. At 7:54pm on 16 Jul 2009, nick-fowler wrote:
How much is that doggy in the fenetre?

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196. At 8:00pm on 16 Jul 2009, SpringChicky wrote:
Look, I know Carrie Bradshaw did it in her knickers but I'm NOT!!!

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197. At 8:04pm on 16 Jul 2009, no_seriously wrote:
"I dreamed a dream of bone gone dry..."

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198. At 8:08pm on 16 Jul 2009, SpringChicky wrote:
.....and now you're back, from outer space.....oops, wrong gig....

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199. At 8:16pm on 16 Jul 2009, GuitarKate wrote:
After all the publicity given to President Obama's dog, Gordon had arranged a little surprise for the party conference.

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200. At 9:08pm on 16 Jul 2009, TheRedBiro wrote:
Help. I can't come out. That puppy ran off with the paper again.

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201. At 9:12pm on 16 Jul 2009, ChickenDippaz wrote:
This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the House Rules.
202. At 9:14pm on 16 Jul 2009, CyberSerb wrote:
To heel or not to heeel, that is the question.

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203. At 9:21pm on 16 Jul 2009, apolitico wrote:
I'll just have a quick Peke.

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204. At 9:35pm on 16 Jul 2009, rockhulley wrote:
"Typical,there`s never a Lamppost around when you need one."

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205. At 9:35pm on 16 Jul 2009, aliotis wrote:
"Eat your hearts out Catwalk Divas"

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206. At 9:38pm on 16 Jul 2009, Irish-Di wrote:
This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the House Rules.
207. At 9:56pm on 16 Jul 2009, GuitarKate wrote:
"How many times do I have to tell you Fifi? You are NOT a Dalmation and Cruella De Ville is NOT out there".

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208. At 10:04pm on 16 Jul 2009, Irish-Di wrote:
This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the House Rules.
209. At 10:52pm on 16 Jul 2009, nick-fowler wrote:
And this Phantom of the Opera needs no make-up

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210. At 10:59pm on 16 Jul 2009, ARoseByAnyOther wrote:
I thought I saw a pussy cat

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211. At 11:02pm on 16 Jul 2009, fastwelshdragon wrote:
Here Kittie kittie where are you its a cat walk not a doggie one!!!

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212. At 11:02pm on 16 Jul 2009, ARoseByAnyOther wrote:
French dog columnist wins Pulitzer Prize - London journos express shock and outrage

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213. At 11:08pm on 16 Jul 2009, mikehaz90 wrote:
pete doherty's not looking very well these days

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214. At 11:10pm on 16 Jul 2009, mikehaz90 wrote:
This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the House Rules.
215. At 11:21pm on 16 Jul 2009, ARoseByAnyOther wrote:
Alright, who's got the treat in their pocket?

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216. At 11:24pm on 16 Jul 2009, roversbasedjoy wrote:
I'd give it five minutes if I were you...

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217. At 11:32pm on 16 Jul 2009, MightyGiddyUpGal wrote:
I know what you're thinking "Is he six inches tall or only five?" Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement, I've kinda lost track myself. But, being there is a Magnum of the finest French champagne here in the back, offered to each of you if you vote the right way, I've got to ask myself one question: "Do I feel lucky?" Well, what do you think, punk?

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218. At 11:49pm on 16 Jul 2009, MightyGiddyUpGal wrote:
Contrary to what the program states, I will not be wearing kitten heels.

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219. At 11:58pm on 16 Jul 2009, cedpaine wrote:
I heard that.

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220. At 00:12am on 17 Jul 2009, nickson1 wrote:
This evening Mr. Cowell I will be singing "Nessun Dogma" by Pugcini.

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221. At 00:12am on 17 Jul 2009, Vicky S wrote:
Nervous? You bet I'm nervous. Last time Naomi Campbell threw a bone at me.

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222. At 00:21am on 17 Jul 2009, nickson1 wrote:
The Fashion show had been a triumph until one of the models got a stiletto caught in the catwalk.

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223. At 00:25am on 17 Jul 2009, W_K_Snowdon wrote:
Welcome to Hell. My name is Roderick and I'm your host for the duration. Enjoy..

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224. At 00:30am on 17 Jul 2009, W_K_Snowdon wrote:
Fair enough, it's got good local schools, convenient transport links, and shopping is close by. But have you seem what's behind these curtains?

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225. At 00:58am on 17 Jul 2009, MightyGiddyUpGal wrote:
Blimey, these supermodels are looking at me like I'm a starter.

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226. At 01:15am on 17 Jul 2009, MightyGiddyUpGal wrote:
Yes, I'm afraid it's only me behind the curtain. You should have chosen the door with the dog flap.

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227. At 01:22am on 17 Jul 2009, frigorifico wrote:
This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the House Rules.
228. At 04:16am on 17 Jul 2009, redalfa147 wrote:
With a 50-date tour ahead of him, Pablo wasn't convinced he would be a true replacement for Michael Jackson.

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229. At 04:25am on 17 Jul 2009, redalfa147 wrote:
Sorry about the puddle backstage but I just heard Madonna's due to play this stage soon.

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230. At 06:43am on 17 Jul 2009, sonalogical wrote:
You bonehead..yeah..am talking to you!

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231. At 07:11am on 17 Jul 2009, maroonnomdeplume wrote:
That's the trouble with being a minature breed, you can spend hours lost in your owners skirt terrified she's going to sit down and then when you do find your way out the daylight is blinding.

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232. At 07:23am on 17 Jul 2009, Dragndrop wrote:
Sunday Night at the Palladium has gone to the dogs.

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233. At 07:50am on 17 Jul 2009, jtotheglo wrote:
Sirius Black's return in the latest Harry Potter film wasn't quite what the audience expected.

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234. At 07:51am on 17 Jul 2009, SeanieSmith wrote:
"Az anyone got ze iron? Zee Engleesh bulldog ees looking a little creased."

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235. At 07:53am on 17 Jul 2009, SeanieSmith wrote:
"Bad dog, Fifi! You musn't bury the supermodel again - she's not a bone."

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236. At 07:59am on 17 Jul 2009, KaptainKaption wrote:
I'm sitting quietly with my master in the pub when this bloke lurches in and throws up all over me. Then he looks down and says "Cripes, I can't remember eating that"...

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237. At 08:01am on 17 Jul 2009, KaptainKaption wrote:
Sorry, I can't come any further. They've nailed my back end to this fence.

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238. At 08:04am on 17 Jul 2009, KaptainKaption wrote:
Ladies and gentlemen, the management are proud to announce that this theatre has gone to the dogs...

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239. At 08:05am on 17 Jul 2009, SeanieSmith wrote:
"Wow this must be an important show - the corgis are here...and they've brought that that nice, old lady again."

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240. At 08:06am on 17 Jul 2009, jarlaberg wrote:
"I fancy a PEEK."

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241. At 08:08am on 17 Jul 2009, GuitarKate wrote:
So where are all these bags of bones parading up and down a catwalk then?

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242. At 08:10am on 17 Jul 2009, KaptainKaption wrote:
This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the House Rules.
243. At 08:11am on 17 Jul 2009, GuitarKate wrote:
As she waited to be crowned "Miss Doggie World 2009", Poochie tried to remember to dedicate her reign to working for world peace.

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244. At 08:13am on 17 Jul 2009, KaptainKaption wrote:
Sorry madam, you missed the starters - they were on about 20 minutes ago.

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245. At 08:19am on 17 Jul 2009, KaptainKaption wrote:
I'm leaning on a lamp-post at the corner of the street,
In case a certain little lady comes by...

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246. At 08:22am on 17 Jul 2009, KaptainKaption wrote:
So let's hear it for our lead guitarist...

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247. At 08:23am on 17 Jul 2009, KaptainKaption wrote:
I don't care what it says on your ticket - do I LOOK like Michael Jackson?

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248. At 08:28am on 17 Jul 2009, nick-fowler wrote:
You fools! I said to put on 'Carry On, Jeeves' by P.G. Wodehouse, not Barbara Woodhouse.

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249. At 08:36am on 17 Jul 2009, SeanieSmith wrote:
"Yes, I know you're the Hyena, but I'm sick of being the straight man all the time."

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250. At 09:01am on 17 Jul 2009, Dragndrop wrote:
Was that a wolf whistle?

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251. At 09:06am on 17 Jul 2009, Woundedpride wrote:
Rex knew that every professional model deals with stage fright differently. But he needed that pooper scooper back here now!

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252. At 09:06am on 17 Jul 2009, jtotheglo wrote:
Tinkerbell was finding it hard to cover up the Paris-shaped bulge in her tummy.

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253. At 09:08am on 17 Jul 2009, Woundedpride wrote:
Ruffff audience?

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254. At 09:25am on 17 Jul 2009, Chopper32 wrote:
This evening's performance of "Cats" has been cancelled.

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255. At 09:26am on 17 Jul 2009, Chopper32 wrote:
Ladies and Gentlemen,the long awaited sequel to "Cats"...

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256. At 09:28am on 17 Jul 2009, DougieLawson wrote:
Has anyone seen Eric and Ern?

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257. At 09:28am on 17 Jul 2009, Chopper32 wrote:
Please put your hands together for the latest star of the flea circus... Fideaux!

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258. At 09:30am on 17 Jul 2009, Chopper32 wrote:
He looked out hopefully, expecting the audience to give him some stick.

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259. At 09:33am on 17 Jul 2009, Chopper32 wrote:
Just as suddenly as they had begun the cries of "Author! Author!" stopped.

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260. At 09:38am on 17 Jul 2009, teazeldad wrote:
Catherine Zeta Bones

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261. At 09:43am on 17 Jul 2009, alegrias3 wrote:
The dog fashion show opens with the new summer range for greyhounds.

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262. At 09:53am on 17 Jul 2009, chris_ballard wrote:
There are concerns Crufts is being dumbed down after Simon Cowell becomes producer.

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263. At 09:59am on 17 Jul 2009, alegrias3 wrote:
"Will Mr Prescott please report to reception - we have found your dog."

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264. At 10:01am on 17 Jul 2009, MCW0MBLE wrote:
In spite of the credit crunch Gok Wan bravely soldiered on

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265. At 10:03am on 17 Jul 2009, alegrias3 wrote:
"I'm OK with the top, but the tutu is just not my style."

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266. At 10:03am on 17 Jul 2009, MuteJoe wrote:
I may cock a leg, but I have absolutely no intention of breaking one.

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267. At 10:04am on 17 Jul 2009, discom8 wrote:
"Nice curtains, I feel drawn to them", said Tim Vine's dog.

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268. At 10:14am on 17 Jul 2009, SimonRooke wrote:
See Spot. See Spot run. See Spot hump the leg of the Telegraph's fashion correspondent.

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269. At 10:15am on 17 Jul 2009, SeanieSmith wrote:
"I don't get out of my basket for less than 10 bones a day."

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270. At 10:17am on 17 Jul 2009, crazymurdav wrote:
Upon hearing the news that Paris Hilton was looking for a new dog to replace Tinkerbell, Jerry decided to hide in the Grand Opera House- A place he knew Paris would never come, as it didn't have a 5 drink minimum policy.

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271. At 10:21am on 17 Jul 2009, SeanieSmith wrote:
"I'm staying clear of that Naomi- when they said she was cross breed they weren't kidding"

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272. At 10:23am on 17 Jul 2009, jellyba wrote:
Ladies and Gentleman
due to a slight hitch tonight's performance of Cats has been cancelled

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273. At 10:25am on 17 Jul 2009, jellyba wrote:
the end to discrimination against childless couples in the school play

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274. At 10:28am on 17 Jul 2009, beachcred wrote:
...of course I'm nervous, Paris. This is the first time I've been outside your handbag for 5 years.

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275. At 10:30am on 17 Jul 2009, nick-fowler wrote:
Say, why don't we put the show on right here in the old kennels?

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276. At 10:31am on 17 Jul 2009, nick-fowler wrote:
We bulldogs are absolutely tired out after that weekend in Pamplona

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277. At 10:32am on 17 Jul 2009, jellyba wrote:
someone got a mop?

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278. At 10:34am on 17 Jul 2009, nick-fowler wrote:
I check that the parfums are canine-friendly - I'm a sniffer dog

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279. At 10:38am on 17 Jul 2009, Dragndrop wrote:
I really get the hump with all those bitches backstage.

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280. At 10:49am on 17 Jul 2009, friendlyOssiecat wrote:
I must have been barking mad to sign up for this gig

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281. At 10:50am on 17 Jul 2009, nick-fowler wrote:
Is there a dentist in the house? We have a canine problem backstage.

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282. At 10:54am on 17 Jul 2009, U14064097 wrote:
Gloria Balsam? Where?

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283. At 10:58am on 17 Jul 2009, MrSnoozy wrote:
Agente Provocateur feels the pinch...

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284. At 10:59am on 17 Jul 2009, tmgavl wrote:
~sigh~ I though you said "Gimme a chew" not Jimmy Choo...

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285. At 10:59am on 17 Jul 2009, cazzajay wrote:
Tough crowd tonight... I'd better go practise my killer smile.

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286. At 11:03am on 17 Jul 2009, tmgavl wrote:
When my mate said "There's a real dog working at the Moulin Rouge", I thought he meant...

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287. At 11:06am on 17 Jul 2009, tmgavl wrote:
I guess we're not in Kansas any more...

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288. At 11:08am on 17 Jul 2009, tomhartland wrote:
"I won't get out of my basket for anything less than ten thous... ooo, is that a biscuit??"

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289. At 11:10am on 17 Jul 2009, britinbcn wrote:
Woman in audience to friend - "No darling, I know its not Kate Moss but there is a crisis on and this is all he afford!"

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290. At 11:13am on 17 Jul 2009, Hilaryros wrote:
In THESE shoes ? I don't think so !

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291. At 11:22am on 17 Jul 2009, jataomm wrote:
Concern continues over the size of models on the catwalk.

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292. At 11:22am on 17 Jul 2009, patio-phalangist wrote:
'Fanny the Wonder Dog ? - nah, never heard of her.......''

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293. At 11:24am on 17 Jul 2009, jataomm wrote:
French worker begins blockade of catwalk after talks concerning conditions break down.

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294. At 11:25am on 17 Jul 2009, MeFromTheUniverse wrote:
Poor turn out tonight. There's only a stuffed dog wearing a hat and sitting in a pushchair

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295. At 11:28am on 17 Jul 2009, MeFromTheUniverse wrote:
These Royal Variety performances are really going to the dogs!

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296. At 11:29am on 17 Jul 2009, nick-fowler wrote:
In Hitchcock's original storyboarding for Psycho, Janet Leigh was killed, not by Anthony Perkins, but by a crazed bulldog

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297. At 11:33am on 17 Jul 2009, nick-fowler wrote:
Only thirty people? Freddie Starr sure aint going to turn out for thirty people.

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298. At 11:34am on 17 Jul 2009, MeFromTheUniverse wrote:
Sigh, and to think I was once a great Shakespearian actor, barking out a soliloquy and sniffing bottom. I mean PLAYING bottom!!

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299. At 11:43am on 17 Jul 2009, jataomm wrote:
Typos and misunderstandings come to the fore at the opening of the DiNKY parade.

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300. At 11:45am on 17 Jul 2009, GrayHulbert wrote:
The premier of Churchill's 'sexy' new ad campaign met with confused reviews

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301. At 11:53am on 17 Jul 2009, peter68 wrote:
Vanessa Feltz's gastric band was working rather well

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302. At 11:53am on 17 Jul 2009, ding-dinge-dong wrote:
This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the House Rules.
303. At 11:56am on 17 Jul 2009, bampot-bob wrote:
Ernie "Come on Eric, you've done many strange things from behind this curtain, but this is just barking!"

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304. At 11:56am on 17 Jul 2009, MuteJoe wrote:
Rex was to find he'd been gravely misled by the term 'fleapit'.

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305. At 12:05pm on 17 Jul 2009, GreatUncleBulgariaJr wrote:
After 27 series of "Britain's Got Talent" Simon Cowell finally agreed that the quality of acts wasn't what it used to be

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306. At 12:10pm on 17 Jul 2009, GreatUncleBulgariaJr wrote:
Wait. Please come back. Yes, I am from Mexico but I have not been near any pigs, honest...

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307. At 12:12pm on 17 Jul 2009, GreatUncleBulgariaJr wrote:
So chuck, you chose contestant number three. He's small but with a true Latin American temprament and I know you'll have a lorra, lorra fun together

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308. At 12:13pm on 17 Jul 2009, peter68 wrote:
'Anyone got a doggy bag?' Fifi barked sheepishly

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309. At 12:16pm on 17 Jul 2009, peter68 wrote:
After the Korean fashion show, where several dogs went 'missing', Fifi was not so confident

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310. At 12:20pm on 17 Jul 2009, Robert51Edwards wrote:
How's this for a pair of woofers!

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311. At 12:21pm on 17 Jul 2009, jataomm wrote:
S&M Lingerie decided upon a more animalistic approach to marketing this year.

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312. At 12:21pm on 17 Jul 2009, chappers009 wrote:
Amanda Holden denies makeover surgery claims as the judges appear for the latest leg of the 'Britain's Got Talent' roadshow!

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313. At 12:22pm on 17 Jul 2009, rego77660 wrote:
K9 - The Musical

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314. At 12:24pm on 17 Jul 2009, Rockahula wrote:
It wasn't quite the Bach recital they'd been expecting...

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315. At 12:24pm on 17 Jul 2009, chappers009 wrote:
Now did he say "Break a leg darling" or "Cock a leg darling"?

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316. At 12:24pm on 17 Jul 2009, jataomm wrote:
The director was criticised for his unusual casting options for LLoyd Webber's musical, Cats.

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317. At 12:25pm on 17 Jul 2009, TheRealCatherineO wrote:
Rover's presentation would have been perfect if it hadn't been for that George Bush moment when he left the stage.

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318. At 12:25pm on 17 Jul 2009, rego77660 wrote:
Paws for thought

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319. At 12:29pm on 17 Jul 2009, rego77660 wrote:
Kennel !!! Have you seen all those people out there !

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320. At 12:29pm on 17 Jul 2009, Malcolm_H2 wrote:
I KNOW all the world's a stage - but where on earth did they put that damn lamppost?

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321. At 12:29pm on 17 Jul 2009, groundhog44 wrote:
I'm not coming out, I'm terrierfied!

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322. At 12:29pm on 17 Jul 2009, Anonniemuss wrote:
Walkies? But I've already done my business on these unusual red velvet bushes . . .

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