Caption Competition
Winning entries in the Caption Competition.
The competition is now closed. Full rules can be seen here [PDF].

This week, a French Bulldog peeks out from the stage curtain at a dog fashion show in Taiwan. But what's being said?
Thanks to all who entered. The prize of a small amount of kudos to the following:
6. Hilaryros
"In THESE shoes? I don't think so!"
5. Candace9839
Siegfried & Roy revamp Vegas show.
4. GreatUncleBulgariaJr
"So chuck, you chose contestant number three. He's small but with a true Latin American temprament and I know you'll have a lorra, lorra fun together."
3. RMutt-Urinal
Certain members of the audience were beginning to realise that they had been conned into buying tickets which promised "Doggie Fashion - Live on Stage".
2. tomhartland
"I won't get out of my basket for anything less than ten thous... ooo, is that a biscuit??"
1. gm_coates
Spike's Eric Morecambe impression was off to a good start.


~RS~q~RS~~RS~z~RS~26~RS~)
Comments
Sign in or register to comment.
I'm not coming out until you get rid of that catwalk
Complain about this comment
And you thought Parisian models were bitchy?
Complain about this comment
I hate these pick your own main course events.
Complain about this comment
Peek a boo, I see stew!
Complain about this comment
Curtain bow wow.
Complain about this comment
You mean this lot are willing to pay these prices? They must be barking.
Complain about this comment
The audience lacked pedigree
Complain about this comment
As Greta Garbo used to say 'I want to be on a lawn.'
Complain about this comment
Can't a dog see a man in peace?
Complain about this comment
What do I know about fashion ? Armani a dog.
Complain about this comment
Ladies and Gentleman, is there a Vet in the house?
Complain about this comment
Gucci? No, this is poochy.
Complain about this comment
And still no one suspects, that I am, the Scarlet Pimpernel.
Complain about this comment
"Thank you I'm here all week, don't forget to nip your waitress."
Complain about this comment
There's never a tree when you really want one?
Complain about this comment
Miu Miu? That's OK. I thought you said Miaou Miaou.
Complain about this comment
I've been collared!
Complain about this comment
Watch out lads, there's a ruff crowd in tonight..
Complain about this comment
No cat calls allowed!
Complain about this comment
It's Ken Dog.
Complain about this comment
"Is it me that's getting smaller or is this handbag getting bigger?"
Complain about this comment
I don't care if Vivienne Westwood DID design it! I'm not going out there wearing a diamond studded nappy and matching basque...
Complain about this comment
Are you ready for me on the dogwalk?
Complain about this comment
Have you seen what they want me to wear? It leaves absolutely nothing to the imagination!
Complain about this comment
"oh its nothing really, just a walkies-on part"
Complain about this comment
I'm waiting for Dogot.
Complain about this comment
It's a tree I want, not Leaves St. Laurent
Complain about this comment
After this, Cruft's will have to be renamed Scruffs
Complain about this comment
Typical, it happens everytime, I surrender to a German Shepherd and then get rescued by an English Setter and an American Pit Bull.
Complain about this comment
Has anybody seen Paris?
Complain about this comment
And I'm wearing an original Yves St. Bernard
Complain about this comment
New Taco Bell CEO named
Complain about this comment
Oh no! I can see some animal rights activists out there, and I'm wearing fur.
Complain about this comment
Great! I can see representatives from all the top Paris fashion doghouses out here.
Complain about this comment
I don't care how many times you call me, I'm not coming until you say it in French.
Complain about this comment
I think we're in luck - the sushi conveyor belt's jammed
Complain about this comment
Well, at least I've been vetted.
Complain about this comment
I hope this isn't a butcher's convention.
Complain about this comment
We've been conned again, Coco. It's a restaurant.
Complain about this comment
And next on is Fifi, wearing an original Coco Chien-elle.
Complain about this comment
Of course I'm not Pamper-ed - I happen to be fully house-trained
Complain about this comment
Simon Cowell presents his new saturday night show, 'The Rex Factor.'
Complain about this comment
I'm afraid to show a leg - they might chop it off!
Complain about this comment
The new production of Carmen by Woodhouse was destined to be a howling success
Complain about this comment
Unlike Paris, the Taiwan fashion scene is definitely not DOG-eat-dog
Complain about this comment
To pee or not to pee....THAT is the question.
Complain about this comment
Err, is this the right theatre for 'Cats'?
Complain about this comment
And I used to think style was something you jumped over
Complain about this comment
I'm a fashion police-dog
Complain about this comment
The puparazzi were ruthless
Complain about this comment
Ok are you ready? When the curtain goes up you take the lead.
Complain about this comment
Surprise discovery suggests new underlying cause for stagefright.
Complain about this comment
No, it's DON Pasquale actually
Complain about this comment
So many legs! Must be quick to find a good looking one.
Complain about this comment
Dramatic paws.
Complain about this comment
"Good luck mate, knock 'em dead, pee on a leg"
Complain about this comment
I'm the Show's Wag.
Complain about this comment
Could the person in seat K9 please identify themselves
Complain about this comment
Siegfried & Roy revamp Vegas show
Complain about this comment
The 39 Steps is an organization of spies collecting information on behalf of the foreign office of...
Complain about this comment
This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the House Rules.
Ladies and Gentlemmen, please welcome Yoda wearing this year's must have item, a collar and a corset twin set.. and an enormous grin!
Complain about this comment
I have a tail, but I'm not quite pleased with my look...
Complain about this comment
OK, you can do this. Walk pretty and remember not to lick yourself.
Complain about this comment
And remember, Fifi, when it comes to your big 'Singing in the Rain' number, you only swing on the lamp-post, OK?
Complain about this comment
The crowd weren't too impressed with this years T in the Park headliner.
Complain about this comment
The world wide recession has even hit the cat walk, these models are dog rough...
Complain about this comment
Le Woof!
Complain about this comment
Fame can be so evanescent. One minute you're the catwalk queen, the next you're lunch.
Complain about this comment
Theirs was a forbidden attraction, something that could never work, but she longed for a sniff from the English bulldog on stage nevertheless
Complain about this comment
And now, with the weather, it's Chien Lloyd.
Complain about this comment
And next we have the supermodel, Claudia Sniffer.
Complain about this comment
There was disappointment for the audience who turned up for Snoop's secret gig
Complain about this comment
Pooch and Judy
Complain about this comment
Don't put your daugher on the stage Mrs Worthington
Complain about this comment
When I grow up I'm going to be a werewolf like Lon Chieny
Complain about this comment
As Fifi searched the audience for her folks, the Ross family, she realised with a heavy heart that Jonathan must have decided to do something more interesting with his favourite, that wretched pug Mr Pickle.
Complain about this comment
I'M NOT BEING CATTY!!!
Complain about this comment
Michael McIntyre's particular brand of high-pitched observational comedy has endeared him to a whole new audience.
Complain about this comment
I'm not coming out unless they get me a helicopter.
Complain about this comment
Oh no, I think I've made a poodle on the floor
Complain about this comment
"Harry, I'm sorry, but your godfather wasn't dead after all, but..."
Complain about this comment
"It's curtains for you, Fifi", chuckled the cat in the balcony.
Complain about this comment
Fido didn't like the look of the new Korean buffet
Complain about this comment
Is this a dogger which I see before me?
Complain about this comment
Spike's Eric Morecambe impression was off to a good start.
Complain about this comment
"OK, which one of you hid the toilet tissue?"
Complain about this comment
The Humpback of Notre Dame.
Complain about this comment
"It was all or nothing for Fifi. Simon Cowell had never judged a topless chorus line but that was all about to change."
Complain about this comment
Who let the dogs pout?
Complain about this comment
Toto's impersonation of the Wizard was not well received by Dorothy
Complain about this comment
"A little help here, i've got four shoes but i can only Taiwan!!"
Complain about this comment
New undercover journo for Paris Match revealed
Complain about this comment
This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the House Rules.
"I say, Fifi, I don't think this is the way to loo"
Complain about this comment
Where's the bone, China ?
Complain about this comment
What use is staying alone in your kennel...
Complain about this comment
Throw me a bone, not flowers !
Complain about this comment
...and those in the Royal Box, just rattle your dog collars
Complain about this comment
Chien curtain, let me rock you
Let me rock you chien curtain
Let me rock you, I feel for you
Complain about this comment
After years of following her around, Paris Hilton's dog decides to go solo.
Complain about this comment
I asked for a Tree and a Collar in my dressing room.
Anyone know why have they given me a French flag?
Complain about this comment
Anyone seen Yasmine le Bone?
Complain about this comment
"I'm not coming out... This dress makes me look pugly."
Complain about this comment
I'm just thrilled - there are repesentatives from all the great Paris fashion kennels out there
Complain about this comment
This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the House Rules.
Hey! I was told there would be cats walking! That the only reason I didn't bite you when you dressed me up like an idiot!
Complain about this comment
The audience had turned up for a Bach recital.
Complain about this comment
I'm the one with the short fat hairy legs.
Complain about this comment
Before I go all the way out, tell me, does my tail look big in this?
Complain about this comment
"I say, Fifi, I don't think this is the way to the loo"
(correction)
Complain about this comment
All that primping and preening, blow drying and brushing, posing and clipping, for this?!
Complain about this comment
Even the critics had to admit, in his latest role, Jude Law was practically unrecognisable
Complain about this comment
In the lastest "Who Do You Think You Are?" programme, Mr. Beefy travels to Taiwan, but finds he has been barking up the Wong tree
Complain about this comment
I don't know why, but ever since I saw Les Miserables as a pup, I thought 'Yes. THAT's the part for me'
Complain about this comment
Certain members of the audience were beginning to realise that they had been conned into buying tickets which promised 'Doggie Fashion - Live on Stage'.
Complain about this comment
After a successful performance earlier in the week at the Royal Variety Performance, Bouncer was slightly perturbed to see HER, there, again in the front row. The Corgi with the worrying smile...
Complain about this comment
This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the House Rules.
Non monsieur, I draw zee line at zeez union jack pants.
Complain about this comment
Moments before the main act was due to go on, organisers realised their mistake as fans cheered for 'Dido'...
Complain about this comment
Bulldog Fash
Complain about this comment
Oh-Oh. A little shih tzu. Must be first night catwalk nerves
Complain about this comment
It was the first night of 'Yoda: The Musical' and Martin had dried.
Complain about this comment
The worlds first pet friendly airline reveals its new captain
Complain about this comment
This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the House Rules.
Er,sorry about the noise back here,folks.We had a bit of a set-to between the Chihauhaus and a Great Dane.....'fraid we're down a Chihauhau or two.
Complain about this comment
And next on the catwalk, number 27... with egg fried rice.
Complain about this comment
World's smallest dog looks out from under owners skirt
Complain about this comment
'So it's true,' thought Fifi. 'They really do put the poor people in the back of the plane...'
Complain about this comment
Who let the humans out?
Complain about this comment
It's true Poochie Darling, I simply can't find a thing to wear
Complain about this comment
Oh no, a coachload in from Battersea....
Complain about this comment
This was supposed to be a Spanish Bullfighters fashion show, thats the trouble when things get lost in translation
Complain about this comment
It was the first and last time that Trixie would play the Glasgow Empire.
Complain about this comment
Fifi was getting cold feet about the strip tease routine. Would they really make her take off her collar?
Complain about this comment
"It's Pucci, darling"
Complain about this comment
Grrrrrlesque.
Complain about this comment
"Pound for pound, ladies and gentlemen, more fierce than an African lion"
Complain about this comment
Does anyone have a nice milk-bone,preferably lightly-sauteed and dipped in a runny Camembert?
Complain about this comment
Wow! Jackie Chien is really popular in Taiwan!
Complain about this comment
Well, i'll ask him but i dont think he will be very keen!
Uh, he's already got one you see!
Complain about this comment
The clowns were a tough act to follow
Complain about this comment
After being laid off from the Sun, Sadie sought comfort in the shine of the footlights
Complain about this comment
The audience?! Ha! It's the vicious pack of hounds backstage that has me worried.
Complain about this comment
I use to be a Great Dane, but I've been ill.
Complain about this comment
This season's Heel!s were obviously not loud enough.
Complain about this comment
Haven't seen an old Victrola round have you?
Complain about this comment
Journalists, reporters and editors, oh my!
Complain about this comment
After the long paws, it was time...
Complain about this comment
*gulp* So this is what they call 'in the dog house'.
Complain about this comment
What a disaster! Whose idea was it to line the catwalk with trees?
Complain about this comment
And now for the contoversial poop scoop collection
Complain about this comment
This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the House Rules.
1 2 3 4 wag 1 2 3 4 wag, lick nose, 1 2 3 4 wag scratch flea - nope I can't remember the routine, I can't do it.
Complain about this comment
Henri thought that Fifi had rushed backstage rather too quickly and spying the tiny brown object on the end of the runway, his very worst suspicions were confirmed. He would never work in Paris again.
Complain about this comment
Mum promised she'd come tonight
Complain about this comment
Annie - the rewrite
Complain about this comment
I'm not going out there, they'll have me for dinner!
Complain about this comment
Star Wars - the musical
Complain about this comment
Ginger had always counted on Fred's dancing and footwork to distract the audience... now Fred was gone.
Complain about this comment
Looking on in horror as Fifi dragged herself the entire length of the runway on her bottom, Antoine remembered why he should always worm his top models before big shows.
Complain about this comment
"....So I ask the toy poodle 'How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb?' and she says 'I'll just blow in the Border collie's ear and he'll do it. And by the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.'..."
Complain about this comment
If you think I'd be seen dead wearing this anywhere else you must be barking.
Complain about this comment
Haute Coutuuuuuuuuuuuur!
Complain about this comment
No I haven't chewed it, it was supposed to look like this.
Complain about this comment
Fortunately the curtains were double lined.
Complain about this comment
The canine answer to Ernie Wise wondered if the musical number with Peter Andre would become a classic.
Complain about this comment
Animals, the lot of them!
Complain about this comment
I see collars are STILL in.
Complain about this comment
Just being careful
My mate did one of these shows in Korea, they made a meal of him!
Complain about this comment
Sacrebleu, wrong way.
Complain about this comment
Oh God! Why me?
Complain about this comment
Britain's got talent reaches the bottom of the barrel
Complain about this comment
When Paris Hilton was on stage, she always took her dog along just to remember where the gap between the curtains was
Complain about this comment
Opera was all very well, but Rufus had been a Great Dane before Pavarotti sat on him
Complain about this comment
A Bulldog, A Poodle, and an Irish Wolfhound are sitting in a pub...
Complain about this comment
And, waiting in the wings, was Pegasus
Complain about this comment
Nipper was enjoying his new job - spinning round and round on a record label had been giving him a headache
Complain about this comment
The Bruno, the Austrian Bulldog, froze suddenly when he realised he was wearing the Boxer`s shorts
Complain about this comment
Is Doctor Who over yet?
Complain about this comment
"How ironic" thought Eric as he contemplated his reincarnation "Now Im the one with the short fat hairy legs".
Complain about this comment
Backstage, the French bulldog and a German Rottweiler had been having the traditional argument as to who owned the Alsatians
Complain about this comment
My tastes in opera? Anything by Poochini.
Complain about this comment
"NOT if you're going to try that 'sawing-the-dog-in-half' trick again"
Complain about this comment
For tonight's performance of 'Peter Pan' the role of Nana will be played by Fifi.
Complain about this comment
Line?
Complain about this comment
Looks like a ruff crowd.
Complain about this comment
This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the House Rules.
Detestable....it looks like the dog-pound out there.
Complain about this comment
Claudia Sniffer looked concerned when the compare introduced her as "dish of the day"
Complain about this comment
"I AM a Bulldog, I AM a Bulldog - just hope the Brits don't notice my ears"
Complain about this comment
No, wait, I do a mean Jimmy Cagney impression!
Complain about this comment
Mini unveils new French ad campaign
Complain about this comment
Come on, hop it. It's my turn on the fourth plinth from nine to ten.
Complain about this comment
How much is that doggy in the fenetre?
Complain about this comment
Look, I know Carrie Bradshaw did it in her knickers but I'm NOT!!!
Complain about this comment
"I dreamed a dream of bone gone dry..."
Complain about this comment
.....and now you're back, from outer space.....oops, wrong gig....
Complain about this comment
After all the publicity given to President Obama's dog, Gordon had arranged a little surprise for the party conference.
Complain about this comment
Help. I can't come out. That puppy ran off with the paper again.
Complain about this comment
This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the House Rules.
To heel or not to heeel, that is the question.
Complain about this comment
I'll just have a quick Peke.
Complain about this comment
"Typical,there`s never a Lamppost around when you need one."
Complain about this comment
"Eat your hearts out Catwalk Divas"
Complain about this comment
This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the House Rules.
"How many times do I have to tell you Fifi? You are NOT a Dalmation and Cruella De Ville is NOT out there".
Complain about this comment
This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the House Rules.
And this Phantom of the Opera needs no make-up
Complain about this comment
I thought I saw a pussy cat
Complain about this comment
Here Kittie kittie where are you its a cat walk not a doggie one!!!
Complain about this comment
French dog columnist wins Pulitzer Prize - London journos express shock and outrage
Complain about this comment
pete doherty's not looking very well these days
Complain about this comment
This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the House Rules.
Alright, who's got the treat in their pocket?
Complain about this comment
I'd give it five minutes if I were you...
Complain about this comment
I know what you're thinking "Is he six inches tall or only five?" Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement, I've kinda lost track myself. But, being there is a Magnum of the finest French champagne here in the back, offered to each of you if you vote the right way, I've got to ask myself one question: "Do I feel lucky?" Well, what do you think, punk?
Complain about this comment
Contrary to what the program states, I will not be wearing kitten heels.
Complain about this comment
I heard that.
Complain about this comment
This evening Mr. Cowell I will be singing "Nessun Dogma" by Pugcini.
Complain about this comment
Nervous? You bet I'm nervous. Last time Naomi Campbell threw a bone at me.
Complain about this comment
The Fashion show had been a triumph until one of the models got a stiletto caught in the catwalk.
Complain about this comment
Welcome to Hell. My name is Roderick and I'm your host for the duration. Enjoy..
Complain about this comment
Fair enough, it's got good local schools, convenient transport links, and shopping is close by. But have you seem what's behind these curtains?
Complain about this comment
Blimey, these supermodels are looking at me like I'm a starter.
Complain about this comment
Yes, I'm afraid it's only me behind the curtain. You should have chosen the door with the dog flap.
Complain about this comment
This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the House Rules.
With a 50-date tour ahead of him, Pablo wasn't convinced he would be a true replacement for Michael Jackson.
Complain about this comment
Sorry about the puddle backstage but I just heard Madonna's due to play this stage soon.
Complain about this comment
You bonehead..yeah..am talking to you!
Complain about this comment
That's the trouble with being a minature breed, you can spend hours lost in your owners skirt terrified she's going to sit down and then when you do find your way out the daylight is blinding.
Complain about this comment
Sunday Night at the Palladium has gone to the dogs.
Complain about this comment
Sirius Black's return in the latest Harry Potter film wasn't quite what the audience expected.
Complain about this comment
"Az anyone got ze iron? Zee Engleesh bulldog ees looking a little creased."
Complain about this comment
"Bad dog, Fifi! You musn't bury the supermodel again - she's not a bone."
Complain about this comment
I'm sitting quietly with my master in the pub when this bloke lurches in and throws up all over me. Then he looks down and says "Cripes, I can't remember eating that"...
Complain about this comment
Sorry, I can't come any further. They've nailed my back end to this fence.
Complain about this comment
Ladies and gentlemen, the management are proud to announce that this theatre has gone to the dogs...
Complain about this comment
"Wow this must be an important show - the corgis are here...and they've brought that that nice, old lady again."
Complain about this comment
"I fancy a PEEK."
Complain about this comment
So where are all these bags of bones parading up and down a catwalk then?
Complain about this comment
This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the House Rules.
As she waited to be crowned "Miss Doggie World 2009", Poochie tried to remember to dedicate her reign to working for world peace.
Complain about this comment
Sorry madam, you missed the starters - they were on about 20 minutes ago.
Complain about this comment
I'm leaning on a lamp-post at the corner of the street,
In case a certain little lady comes by...
Complain about this comment
So let's hear it for our lead guitarist...
Complain about this comment
I don't care what it says on your ticket - do I LOOK like Michael Jackson?
Complain about this comment
You fools! I said to put on 'Carry On, Jeeves' by P.G. Wodehouse, not Barbara Woodhouse.
Complain about this comment
"Yes, I know you're the Hyena, but I'm sick of being the straight man all the time."
Complain about this comment
Was that a wolf whistle?
Complain about this comment
Rex knew that every professional model deals with stage fright differently. But he needed that pooper scooper back here now!
Complain about this comment
Tinkerbell was finding it hard to cover up the Paris-shaped bulge in her tummy.
Complain about this comment
Ruffff audience?
Complain about this comment
This evening's performance of "Cats" has been cancelled.
Complain about this comment
Ladies and Gentlemen,the long awaited sequel to "Cats"...
Complain about this comment
Has anyone seen Eric and Ern?
Complain about this comment
Please put your hands together for the latest star of the flea circus... Fideaux!
Complain about this comment
He looked out hopefully, expecting the audience to give him some stick.
Complain about this comment
Just as suddenly as they had begun the cries of "Author! Author!" stopped.
Complain about this comment
Catherine Zeta Bones
Complain about this comment
The dog fashion show opens with the new summer range for greyhounds.
Complain about this comment
There are concerns Crufts is being dumbed down after Simon Cowell becomes producer.
Complain about this comment
"Will Mr Prescott please report to reception - we have found your dog."
Complain about this comment
In spite of the credit crunch Gok Wan bravely soldiered on
Complain about this comment
"I'm OK with the top, but the tutu is just not my style."
Complain about this comment
I may cock a leg, but I have absolutely no intention of breaking one.
Complain about this comment
"Nice curtains, I feel drawn to them", said Tim Vine's dog.
Complain about this comment
See Spot. See Spot run. See Spot hump the leg of the Telegraph's fashion correspondent.
Complain about this comment
"I don't get out of my basket for less than 10 bones a day."
Complain about this comment
Upon hearing the news that Paris Hilton was looking for a new dog to replace Tinkerbell, Jerry decided to hide in the Grand Opera House- A place he knew Paris would never come, as it didn't have a 5 drink minimum policy.
Complain about this comment
"I'm staying clear of that Naomi- when they said she was cross breed they weren't kidding"
Complain about this comment
Ladies and Gentleman
due to a slight hitch tonight's performance of Cats has been cancelled
Complain about this comment
the end to discrimination against childless couples in the school play
Complain about this comment
...of course I'm nervous, Paris. This is the first time I've been outside your handbag for 5 years.
Complain about this comment
Say, why don't we put the show on right here in the old kennels?
Complain about this comment
We bulldogs are absolutely tired out after that weekend in Pamplona
Complain about this comment
someone got a mop?
Complain about this comment
I check that the parfums are canine-friendly - I'm a sniffer dog
Complain about this comment
I really get the hump with all those bitches backstage.
Complain about this comment
I must have been barking mad to sign up for this gig
Complain about this comment
Is there a dentist in the house? We have a canine problem backstage.
Complain about this comment
Gloria Balsam? Where?
Complain about this comment
Agente Provocateur feels the pinch...
Complain about this comment
~sigh~ I though you said "Gimme a chew" not Jimmy Choo...
Complain about this comment
Tough crowd tonight... I'd better go practise my killer smile.
Complain about this comment
When my mate said "There's a real dog working at the Moulin Rouge", I thought he meant...
Complain about this comment
I guess we're not in Kansas any more...
Complain about this comment
"I won't get out of my basket for anything less than ten thous... ooo, is that a biscuit??"
Complain about this comment
Woman in audience to friend - "No darling, I know its not Kate Moss but there is a crisis on and this is all he afford!"
Complain about this comment
In THESE shoes ? I don't think so !
Complain about this comment
Concern continues over the size of models on the catwalk.
Complain about this comment
'Fanny the Wonder Dog ? - nah, never heard of her.......''
Complain about this comment
French worker begins blockade of catwalk after talks concerning conditions break down.
Complain about this comment
Poor turn out tonight. There's only a stuffed dog wearing a hat and sitting in a pushchair
Complain about this comment
These Royal Variety performances are really going to the dogs!
Complain about this comment
In Hitchcock's original storyboarding for Psycho, Janet Leigh was killed, not by Anthony Perkins, but by a crazed bulldog
Complain about this comment
Only thirty people? Freddie Starr sure aint going to turn out for thirty people.
Complain about this comment
Sigh, and to think I was once a great Shakespearian actor, barking out a soliloquy and sniffing bottom. I mean PLAYING bottom!!
Complain about this comment
Typos and misunderstandings come to the fore at the opening of the DiNKY parade.
Complain about this comment
The premier of Churchill's 'sexy' new ad campaign met with confused reviews
Complain about this comment
Vanessa Feltz's gastric band was working rather well
Complain about this comment
This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the House Rules.
Ernie "Come on Eric, you've done many strange things from behind this curtain, but this is just barking!"
Complain about this comment
Rex was to find he'd been gravely misled by the term 'fleapit'.
Complain about this comment
After 27 series of "Britain's Got Talent" Simon Cowell finally agreed that the quality of acts wasn't what it used to be
Complain about this comment
Wait. Please come back. Yes, I am from Mexico but I have not been near any pigs, honest...
Complain about this comment
So chuck, you chose contestant number three. He's small but with a true Latin American temprament and I know you'll have a lorra, lorra fun together
Complain about this comment
'Anyone got a doggy bag?' Fifi barked sheepishly
Complain about this comment
After the Korean fashion show, where several dogs went 'missing', Fifi was not so confident
Complain about this comment
How's this for a pair of woofers!
Complain about this comment
S&M Lingerie decided upon a more animalistic approach to marketing this year.
Complain about this comment
Amanda Holden denies makeover surgery claims as the judges appear for the latest leg of the 'Britain's Got Talent' roadshow!
Complain about this comment
K9 - The Musical
Complain about this comment
It wasn't quite the Bach recital they'd been expecting...
Complain about this comment
Now did he say "Break a leg darling" or "Cock a leg darling"?
Complain about this comment
The director was criticised for his unusual casting options for LLoyd Webber's musical, Cats.
Complain about this comment
Rover's presentation would have been perfect if it hadn't been for that George Bush moment when he left the stage.
Complain about this comment
Paws for thought
Complain about this comment
Kennel !!! Have you seen all those people out there !
Complain about this comment
I KNOW all the world's a stage - but where on earth did they put that damn lamppost?
Complain about this comment
I'm not coming out, I'm terrierfied!
Complain about this comment
Walkies? But I've already done my business on these unusual red velvet bushes . . .
Complain about this comment
View these comments in RSS