A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.
Is "local television showgirl" a job title that exists in the UK? And if it does, on which programme might said showgirl appear?
It is a job description with a whiff of Vegas about it, but it appears, from news reports, to be Italian for "former model". Or "prospective MEP". Or both.
Aptly nestled amid blacked-out sheets in the Times is the tale of the Italian prime minister and the "local television showgirl" who says she was paid to attend his parties. She's a former model, and a candidate in the recent European and municipal elections. In case you hadn't guessed.
And what's this? Ascot Ladies Day is normally a red-letter occasion for the Daily Telegraph. But today anyone looking to see which attractive filly in a lavish hat makes the paper has to turn to page 15. Fifteen!
That's because pages one through six - seven is a full page ad of pouting starlot (the masculine for starlet) - and eight through to 12 compare and contrast their leaked receipts with the heavily-edited versions released by the Commons authorities. (Incidentally, Paper Monitor has a bad case of newsroom envy after glimpsing theirs during coverage of the saga.)
PS. The Daily Express is today offering a free loaf of Waitrose
economy essential white medium sliced. Paper Monitor wonders if this signals that soon the Guardian will run a competition to win your own Primark £3 bikini. Instead of its current win-a-duck-house wheeze.
PPS. On Monday one suggested that one might do something embarrassing if one's Facebook fan tally reached 1,500 by midweek. But that figure wasn't reached until the end of the week. Whew! Besides, Paper Monitor doesn't embarrass easily. Except when asked to... never mind.