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Paper Monitor

13:09 UK time, Thursday, 4 June 2009

A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.

It had to come to an end at some point.

After 27 days of continuous headlines, the Daily Telegraph does not have an expenses story as its front page lead, instead focusing on other political events.

Allowance-junkies will be going cold turkey, but they can ease their withdrawal symptoms with a fix of classic Julie Burchill.

Writing in the Sun, the ever-provocative Burchill launches a tub-thumping defence of reality television, on the eve of the 10th series of Big Brother.

"BB-haters hate the young. They hate the working class. They hate gays and trannies. They hate people who have sex more than once a fortnight."

Say it how you see it, Julie. Don't hold back.

"It's a game show, you lemon-sucking, seat-sniffing nag-bags - get a life!"

Sir Michael Parkinson gets a particular Burch-bashing, for comments he made about Jade Goody, although if Paper Monitor was to repeat Burchill's description of the broadcaster, it would probably risk a lawyer's writ quicker than you can say PM P45.

What we can repeat, however, is her acute observation that if entertainers like Susan Boyle were prevented from performing due to a perceived mental instability, then the world might have been denied the likes of Judy Garland, Jim Morrison and Marilyn Monroe.

And to end on a lighter note, sit back and enjoy/endure the creativity of the sub-editors at the Daily Mirror, so often overshadowed by their red-top rival:

"PEBBLES DASH" (Susan Boyle's cat joins her at the Priory)
"BIG BAD BROTHER" (cruellest show ever)
"CLOSE ENCOUNTERS OF THE THREE KINDS" (three sightings of strange lights in sky)
"THE FINAL STRAWB" (pick-your-own strawberry farm to close over safety fears)
"MORE THAN A FILLING" (readers' own sandwich recipes assessed by Earl of Sandwich)

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