Caption competition

13:10 UK time, Friday, 5 June 2009

Winning entries in the caption competition.

This week, it was a new opera called Flatpack, which was being staged at IKEA in Wembley, north London, and reflects on furniture, domesticity and the challenges of modern life.

The competition is now closed. Full rules can be seen here [PDF].

Thanks to all who entered. The prize of a small amount of kudos to the following:

6. ValerieGanne
What was to have been a respectful tribute to America's President Eisenhower was marred by a spelling error

5. nick_fowler
The Magimix Flute

4. presto_west_end
IKEA's new range: Ulrika-ka-kabinets

3. Vicky S
Unusually, the entire opera is written in the little used key of Allen.

2. nhinton1
MFI administrators limber up before the audit commences.

1. MightyGiddyUpGal
The Stepfjord Wives

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Comments

1. At 1:48pm on 04 Jun 2009, Scotch-git wrote:
" I wonder if this Kama Sutra thingy makes more sense if you read it upside-down? "

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2. At 1:48pm on 04 Jun 2009, MJF_dodo wrote:
It's fairly stable if we stay like this.

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3. At 1:52pm on 04 Jun 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
Never mind the banana peel, I've just seen a mouse!

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4. At 1:53pm on 04 Jun 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
It's a Swedish thing

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5. At 1:54pm on 04 Jun 2009, wotnocaptioncomp wrote:
Ride of the Val-Ikea-ries

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6. At 1:54pm on 04 Jun 2009, penny-farthing wrote:
Julie simply couldn't wipe the counter with her feet like any normal person usually does.

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7. At 1:56pm on 04 Jun 2009, Ruaraidh Gillies wrote:
"Mamma Mia" was one thing, but I think this is taking the 'Swedish inspiration' thing a bit too far!

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8. At 1:57pm on 04 Jun 2009, Wunnunda wrote:
After several hours Tracey and Tiffany were starting to wonder just how long it should take Wayne the fitter to find that missing fixing bracket.

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9. At 1:58pm on 04 Jun 2009, Mr Snoozy wrote:
Geneticists clone a chameleon and a plastic seat; early testing implies hilarious results at dinner parties...

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10. At 1:58pm on 04 Jun 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
It's an old Swedish saying: If you can't stand the feet, get out of the kitchen

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11. At 1:59pm on 04 Jun 2009, alpha-kat wrote:
"Brown-paper packages tied up with string"... more like cardboard boxes, I have to say.

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12. At 2:01pm on 04 Jun 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
Take that Nigella!

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13. At 2:01pm on 04 Jun 2009, Mr Snoozy wrote:
In an effort to save time, the Swedish olympic gymnastic team warm up whilst performing ordinary household chores

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14. At 2:01pm on 04 Jun 2009, LaurenceLane wrote:
She's my flatpack mate.

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15. At 2:02pm on 04 Jun 2009, penny-farthing wrote:
The search for the tin-opener enters a new phase.

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16. At 2:02pm on 04 Jun 2009, LaurenceLane wrote:
Once again Britain's chances of gymnastic gold were hampered by the less than ideal training venue.

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17. At 2:02pm on 04 Jun 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
A mime is a terrible thing to baste

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18. At 2:03pm on 04 Jun 2009, garethb378 wrote:
Cirque de Soleil was never the same after Health & Safety officers had had their way.

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19. At 2:03pm on 04 Jun 2009, Northern_Simon wrote:
The Swedish contribution to the International Space Station.

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20. At 2:05pm on 04 Jun 2009, Helenepitpony wrote:
It ain't over till the flat lady spins.

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21. At 2:05pm on 04 Jun 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
The Iron Chefs from Sweden ratchet up the competition

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22. At 2:05pm on 04 Jun 2009, presto_west_end wrote:
IKEA's new range: Ulrika-ka-kabinets

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23. At 2:06pm on 04 Jun 2009, alpha-kat wrote:
"You know, I'm still not sure "The Flatpack of the Opera" really works..."

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24. At 2:06pm on 04 Jun 2009, Mr Snoozy wrote:
The new Yoga class found the extractor fan very useful following the more "stretchy" positions...

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25. At 2:06pm on 04 Jun 2009, campaign1 wrote:
If Heineken did Kitchens.............

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26. At 2:08pm on 04 Jun 2009, campaign1 wrote:
It's no good, the holes still don't line up

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27. At 2:09pm on 04 Jun 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
And when they screamed "Bork! Bork! Bork!" several glasses of loganberry wine spilled in the audience

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28. At 2:11pm on 04 Jun 2009, campaign1 wrote:
Britain's Got Talent, In The Kitchen, the surprise hit of 2009

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29. At 2:11pm on 04 Jun 2009, presto_west_end wrote:
Are the little pencils up there? I can't find them down here.

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30. At 2:12pm on 04 Jun 2009, presto_west_end wrote:
Well, what did you think of that performance by the Swedes John?

Straight out of the top-drawer Mike.

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31. At 2:14pm on 04 Jun 2009, campaign1 wrote:
Ramsey's (Wife's) Kitchen Nightmares

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32. At 2:15pm on 04 Jun 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
I keep telling Harry we need a family room, but will he listen?

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33. At 2:15pm on 04 Jun 2009, penny-farthing wrote:
Too many cooks......hog the counter-top and generally get under your feet.

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34. At 2:16pm on 04 Jun 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
Is it soup yet?

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35. At 2:16pm on 04 Jun 2009, NorfolkOnce wrote:
The Great Balderinis new trapeze act got off to a bad start..

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36. At 2:16pm on 04 Jun 2009, nick_fowler wrote:
This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the House Rules.
37. At 2:17pm on 04 Jun 2009, NorfolkOnce wrote:
The twins had only one hour to complete the challenge, but had actually never been told how to boil an egg..

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38. At 2:17pm on 04 Jun 2009, nick_fowler wrote:
John Prescott has agreed to appear in the fatpack version

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39. At 2:17pm on 04 Jun 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
Their efforts to get little Billy to eat his peas were growing more desperate

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40. At 2:17pm on 04 Jun 2009, nick_fowler wrote:
Kitchen sink drama

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41. At 2:18pm on 04 Jun 2009, jammyrhona wrote:
Bob popped to his local Ikea to pick up something swedish for his new flat.

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42. At 2:18pm on 04 Jun 2009, nick_fowler wrote:
Health and Safety would never let her stand on my kitchen units like that

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43. At 2:18pm on 04 Jun 2009, MJF_dodo wrote:
"I'm so glad we opted for the integrated foot spa."

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44. At 2:19pm on 04 Jun 2009, jammyrhona wrote:
Ikea Barbie

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45. At 2:19pm on 04 Jun 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
When blondes try to interpret assembly instructions

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46. At 2:19pm on 04 Jun 2009, nick_fowler wrote:
Actually, the opera was to have been set in a mythological world inhabited by Wagernian heroes, but, when he heard that B&Q in Wembley was shutting, it was too good a chance to miss

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47. At 2:19pm on 04 Jun 2009, NorfolkOnce wrote:
I think its safe to say, Birgitta, that we cant fly..

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48. At 2:20pm on 04 Jun 2009, nick_fowler wrote:
Cosy Pan Tutti-Frutti

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49. At 2:20pm on 04 Jun 2009, nick_fowler wrote:
The Magimix Flute

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50. At 2:21pm on 04 Jun 2009, lolkat wrote:
Ingrid proudly showed off her tap dancing skills.

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51. At 2:22pm on 04 Jun 2009, nick_fowler wrote:
And, as my assistant is demonstrating, the grill is indeed eye-level

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52. At 2:24pm on 04 Jun 2009, Helenepitpony wrote:
Sweden were tipped to take gold in the 2010 Build Your Own Olympic Village event.

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53. At 2:24pm on 04 Jun 2009, Waggler wrote:
Are you sure you read the instructions right?

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54. At 2:24pm on 04 Jun 2009, StroszekBassist wrote:
Verruca turns into midget woman.

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55. At 2:24pm on 04 Jun 2009, j-o-n-a-t-h-a-n wrote:
Astronauts at the International Space Station find cooking in zero gravity trickier than expected.

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56. At 2:25pm on 04 Jun 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
OK Helga, you try the flip and landing now

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57. At 2:26pm on 04 Jun 2009, TooSensible wrote:
Following the instructions just made the assembly more difficult.

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58. At 2:26pm on 04 Jun 2009, paulwooding wrote:
"Their performance bought the house down"

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59. At 2:26pm on 04 Jun 2009, LaurenceLane wrote:
When Bauhaus met loony bin.

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60. At 2:26pm on 04 Jun 2009, Pendragon wrote:
Soap opera

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61. At 2:26pm on 04 Jun 2009, TooSensible wrote:
I said I wanted live yoghurt.

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62. At 2:27pm on 04 Jun 2009, MJF_dodo wrote:
Heard the one about two blonde tapdancers?
One fell off the sink.

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63. At 2:28pm on 04 Jun 2009, SimonRooke wrote:
Snap, crackle, pop, and that's just my spine!

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64. At 2:28pm on 04 Jun 2009, Pendragon wrote:
Who put the kitsch in kitchen?

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65. At 2:29pm on 04 Jun 2009, Pendragon wrote:
IKEA, therefore I am

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66. At 2:29pm on 04 Jun 2009, StroszekBassist wrote:
The recipe SHOULD have said "kneed the dough"...

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67. At 2:29pm on 04 Jun 2009, MJF_dodo wrote:
"I'm just following the instructions and it says u-bend."

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68. At 2:30pm on 04 Jun 2009, SimonRooke wrote:
The first draft of 'Porridge' wasn't a hit with the BBC commissioning editors.

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69. At 2:31pm on 04 Jun 2009, Pendragon wrote:
This year, we're staging Wagner's "The Masterfitters of Nuremberg"

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70. At 2:31pm on 04 Jun 2009, Mr Snoozy wrote:
When OCD hand and feet washers collide.

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71. At 2:32pm on 04 Jun 2009, ScottL01 wrote:
I don't understand it either Marilyn, but the instructions say we must use this wrench with our feet.

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72. At 2:32pm on 04 Jun 2009, Pendragon wrote:
I think we'd better adjust that ruddy extractor fan

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73. At 2:33pm on 04 Jun 2009, samanthalodge wrote:
Nuts women in the kitchen are an optional extra

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74. At 2:34pm on 04 Jun 2009, Helenepitpony wrote:
Never mind Hazel Blears, THIS is how to turn your back on the cabinet.

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75. At 2:34pm on 04 Jun 2009, Pendragon wrote:
The latest Lara Croft adventure was criticised for begin a tad too domesticated

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76. At 2:34pm on 04 Jun 2009, StroszekBassist wrote:
Some RADA students misunderstood when they were told to put on a "kitchen sink drama".

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77. At 2:37pm on 04 Jun 2009, Pendragon wrote:
Peter Stringfellow's kitchen showed he had clearly forgotten to take back the empties

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78. At 2:37pm on 04 Jun 2009, Mr Snoozy wrote:
Anna and Karin interpreted the "keep your dirty feet off my clean floor" request from their mum in slightly different ways..

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79. At 2:37pm on 04 Jun 2009, gm_coates wrote:
News of the innovative foot-operated kitchen appliances had not filtered through to the fitting department.

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80. At 2:38pm on 04 Jun 2009, SimonRooke wrote:
How long do you have to leave that verruca gel on before it's dry?

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81. At 2:38pm on 04 Jun 2009, Valerie Ganne wrote:
I'll say one thing about IKEA fitters - they really are fit

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82. At 2:38pm on 04 Jun 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
When singing for your supper just isn't good enough anymore

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83. At 2:39pm on 04 Jun 2009, Valerie Ganne wrote:
Wait, I've misread the recipe - it says yoghurt, not yoga

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84. At 2:40pm on 04 Jun 2009, GirlWeekday wrote:
How to be a Domestic Bodice

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85. At 2:40pm on 04 Jun 2009, Valerie Ganne wrote:
All the cast were so young, they couldn't remember when DFS didn't have a sale on

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86. At 2:41pm on 04 Jun 2009, Valerie Ganne wrote:
Elle's Kitchen

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87. At 2:43pm on 04 Jun 2009, rogueslr wrote:
Maria always had difficulty hitting a high C, whilst Sophie concetrated on her bass range.

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88. At 2:43pm on 04 Jun 2009, Valerie Ganne wrote:
Crayfish Tails of Hoffman

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89. At 2:44pm on 04 Jun 2009, Valerie Ganne wrote:
Savoy Cabbage Opera

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90. At 2:45pm on 04 Jun 2009, rogueslr wrote:
It wasn't from IKEA, you could tell it was counterfeit.

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91. At 2:45pm on 04 Jun 2009, virtualfang wrote:
It was so much easier building MFI

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92. At 2:47pm on 04 Jun 2009, Valerie Ganne wrote:
The two girls didn't actually do any fitting - their job was to think up stupid Swedish-sounding names for all the units

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93. At 2:47pm on 04 Jun 2009, Valerie Ganne wrote:
Gym'll Fit It

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94. At 2:50pm on 04 Jun 2009, rogueslr wrote:
Hang on in there, I'll try and make it to the thinners. Why on earth did he have to varnish the floor when he knew today was our pilates session?

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95. At 2:50pm on 04 Jun 2009, justfor wrote:
Part of the opera included tap dancing.

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96. At 2:51pm on 04 Jun 2009, ShatnerSings wrote:
9) Fold soprano B until feet touch counter A.

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97. At 2:52pm on 04 Jun 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
When happy feet strike

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98. At 2:54pm on 04 Jun 2009, gm_coates wrote:
The new edition of the Swedish ergonomist's handbook had some illustrations printed upside-down.

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99. At 2:54pm on 04 Jun 2009, Jethromope wrote:
" Are you sure that's what Uddevallavarvet means ? "

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100. At 2:54pm on 04 Jun 2009, justfor wrote:
"The opera really captures the complexities of the Instruction sheet" said the Spokesperson.

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101. At 2:56pm on 04 Jun 2009, gm_coates wrote:
The new gravity-field oven took some getting used to.

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102. At 2:57pm on 04 Jun 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
The winners' cafe was a sight to behold in the off hours

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103. At 2:59pm on 04 Jun 2009, BeckySnow wrote:
Based on their behaviour in the Kitchen department, how long will it take them to find the exit?

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104. At 3:01pm on 04 Jun 2009, youngWillz wrote:
The perfect wife should be an Alto in the kitchen, a Contralto in the bedroom and a Soprano in an American drama series...

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105. At 3:02pm on 04 Jun 2009, jataomm wrote:
Emily's tap dancing performance came to a crashing end.

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106. At 3:02pm on 04 Jun 2009, rogueslr wrote:
Pru, it's all kicking off!

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107. At 3:04pm on 04 Jun 2009, John_Sevenoaks wrote:
"When playing the domestic appliance version of Twister, first make sure to switch off ceramic hob."

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108. At 3:05pm on 04 Jun 2009, jataomm wrote:
The only thing missing was the kitchen sink.

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109. At 3:05pm on 04 Jun 2009, rogueslr wrote:
After the opening night they held a closing down sale.

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110. At 3:08pm on 04 Jun 2009, youngWillz wrote:
"Don't move! The missing rawl plug is lodged in your toes!"

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111. At 3:08pm on 04 Jun 2009, John_Sevenoaks wrote:
"I can't hold this for ever. Don't they do step ladders?"

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112. At 3:10pm on 04 Jun 2009, LaurenceLane wrote:
The entire audience, unlike the kitchen, could travel home in one Ford Fiesta.

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113. At 3:10pm on 04 Jun 2009, youngWillz wrote:
Two of Norwich City's finest supporters in a production of "Delia Does Carmen...Rollers"

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114. At 3:11pm on 04 Jun 2009, John_Sevenoaks wrote:
"I said 'do you fancy some yoghurt.'"

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115. At 3:12pm on 04 Jun 2009, Mute Joe wrote:
Lib Dem politician defends expenses claim for two cleaners.

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116. At 3:13pm on 04 Jun 2009, alangiff wrote:
"What do you mean the laser security system isn't turned on!"

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117. At 3:13pm on 04 Jun 2009, Fi-Glos wrote:
Verdi instructions??

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118. At 3:13pm on 04 Jun 2009, BeckySnow wrote:
Blonde wood wasn't restricted to the furniture.

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119. At 3:13pm on 04 Jun 2009, John_Sevenoaks wrote:
"I can't see from here. Is my eye shadow on straight?"

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120. At 3:14pm on 04 Jun 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
Not what we meant by a free standing kitchen demo, Sven

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121. At 3:15pm on 04 Jun 2009, alangiff wrote:
I hope when they put the background image in, we don't look as silly as I feel

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122. At 3:16pm on 04 Jun 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
The new Brava! kitchen line

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123. At 3:16pm on 04 Jun 2009, John_Sevenoaks wrote:
"I haven't quite perfected the 'dismount'."

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124. At 3:21pm on 04 Jun 2009, jtotheglo wrote:
The funding cuts for the Swedish Synchro team were very severe

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125. At 3:22pm on 04 Jun 2009, justfor wrote:
WARNING: Failure to properly understand and follow the given instructions could lead to breakages. (The neck is particularly vulnerable.)

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126. At 3:24pm on 04 Jun 2009, Fi-Glos wrote:
Screw-DRiverdance...

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127. At 3:25pm on 04 Jun 2009, QuizzerCol wrote:
I've got a good view of the built-in t.v. from here. Can you reach the controls?

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128. At 3:26pm on 04 Jun 2009, Mute Joe wrote:
Marjorie may have been a bit on the side but at least she was no pushover.

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129. At 3:29pm on 04 Jun 2009, Mute Joe wrote:
There's a prat in my kitchen what am I gonna do?

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130. At 3:30pm on 04 Jun 2009, Magnum Carter wrote:
"Not going great if I'm honest. We're still trying to track down Alan Key."

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131. At 3:30pm on 04 Jun 2009, Spockter Doc wrote:
Mam-Ikea, here I go again....

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132. At 3:31pm on 04 Jun 2009, kipperonthefloor-The Dog and Trout Inn at A44322987, A great place to have a Christmas Knees-up! wrote:
Ulrika found tap dancing to be harder than it looked

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133. At 3:31pm on 04 Jun 2009, grazvalentine wrote:
The recipe called for a couple of small to medium swedes.

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134. At 3:32pm on 04 Jun 2009, Dhanoalot wrote:
And news from Italy as it's revealed by the Telegraph that Berlusconi's expense claims included more than just a new kitchen.

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135. At 3:34pm on 04 Jun 2009, Spockter Doc wrote:
Day 1 in the Big Brother house & the freak show has already started

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136. At 3:34pm on 04 Jun 2009, jtotheglo wrote:
The Swedish entry was never going to overcome the Poles.

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137. At 3:34pm on 04 Jun 2009, grazvalentine wrote:
...and bacon lean back.

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138. At 3:35pm on 04 Jun 2009, Spockter Doc wrote:
Agnetha & Freida were the first 2 to be found in the hide & seek game.

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139. At 3:35pm on 04 Jun 2009, Magnum Carter wrote:
During a spate of budget cuts, ITV realise they CAN do without contestants, fun, and Pat Sharp.

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140. At 3:35pm on 04 Jun 2009, QuizzerCol wrote:
The cabinet re-shuffle was not turning out according to plan.

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141. At 3:35pm on 04 Jun 2009, jtotheglo wrote:
Insurance claims just aren't as realistic as they used to be.

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142. At 3:36pm on 04 Jun 2009, BeckySnow wrote:
Souper Troopers

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143. At 3:38pm on 04 Jun 2009, BeckySnow wrote:
Souper Troupers

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144. At 3:38pm on 04 Jun 2009, jtotheglo wrote:
...and to make the ratatouille you need 2 cans of diced tomatoes, 4 carrots, 3 courgettes, an aubergine and a couple of swedes.

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145. At 3:40pm on 04 Jun 2009, 21gardener wrote:
Can't we just use a tape measure like everyone else?

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146. At 3:43pm on 04 Jun 2009, Magnum Carter wrote:
Although popular, the Chef's replacements had trouble getting chickens into pots

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147. At 3:43pm on 04 Jun 2009, clare_555 wrote:
After losing their jobs, the friends rented 1 room. But finding how the bed came out turned out to be a challenge.....

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148. At 3:44pm on 04 Jun 2009, littleDickie wrote:
Ulka says," Buut not all your toe's are flat like the instructions say in the booklet."

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149. At 3:45pm on 04 Jun 2009, mischievousBlueBasil wrote:
Are you sure it said turn over and place feet on a flat surface?

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150. At 3:46pm on 04 Jun 2009, throbgusset wrote:
Ramsay's Kitchen Nightwear

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151. At 3:47pm on 04 Jun 2009, littleDickie wrote:
"Ewww, that is quite disgusting with the toenail polish on the counter top. You should not put shoes or boots up there, so why feet?"

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152. At 3:49pm on 04 Jun 2009, BeckySnow wrote:
Eric Prydz Call On Me Credit Crunch Mix

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153. At 3:50pm on 04 Jun 2009, BeckySnow wrote:
Eric Prydz Call On Me - Credit Crunch Mix

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154. At 3:51pm on 04 Jun 2009, Magnum Carter wrote:
Problems arise when one demonstrator fails to fully open.

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155. At 3:52pm on 04 Jun 2009, penny-farthing wrote:
Incidents of counter-top jumping,like tomb-stoning with its potential for serious bodily harm,appear to be on the rise.

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156. At 4:00pm on 04 Jun 2009, Dyeb51 wrote:
The recipe called for 2 Swedes but they decided to use Archi-jokes instead

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157. At 4:02pm on 04 Jun 2009, Dyeb51 wrote:
"I'm opening my flat pack
Looking in the cupboards
Polishing the floor!"

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158. At 4:04pm on 04 Jun 2009, david regan wrote:
Sir Alan wondered what the final two Apprentices were actually doing!

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159. At 4:05pm on 04 Jun 2009, rustbucketjohnson wrote:
Having had their funding withdrawn, the swedish synchronised swimming team returned to their natural habitat.

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160. At 4:06pm on 04 Jun 2009, rustbucketjohnson wrote:
chair looked on dejected...he'd never get a look in at this rate!

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161. At 4:06pm on 04 Jun 2009, Kudosless wrote:

The hunt was on for the person who had drained the swimming pool

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162. At 4:07pm on 04 Jun 2009, Kudosless wrote:

Flatpack act flopped

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163. At 4:08pm on 04 Jun 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
And then Cinderella arrived

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164. At 4:09pm on 04 Jun 2009, mischievousBlueBasil wrote:
Well that's the 'I' and the 'K' sorted, when Bjorn and Bennie arrive they can do the 'E' and the 'A'.

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165. At 4:09pm on 04 Jun 2009, rustbucketjohnson wrote:
MP's expense claims go to even more incredible lengths...second homes, with a second kitchen and a second mistress!

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166. At 4:10pm on 04 Jun 2009, Kudosless wrote:

Have you met my bit on the side?

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167. At 4:10pm on 04 Jun 2009, sarahtrieste wrote:
Yep. They've included everything - EXCEPT the kitchen sink!

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168. At 4:15pm on 04 Jun 2009, Kudosless wrote:

Why can't women understand the Off-Side rule?

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169. At 4:15pm on 04 Jun 2009, Vicxstar7 wrote:
The bidding for this flatpack will commense now. Inge & Claudia are included in the flatpack package.

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170. At 4:18pm on 04 Jun 2009, Kudosless wrote:

Despite the diet, she often sneaks off to the kitchen and fills surface

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171. At 4:19pm on 04 Jun 2009, Kudosless wrote:

Tup her? Where?

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172. At 4:19pm on 04 Jun 2009, david regan wrote:
When I asked for some tumblers for the kitchen, I meant glasses!

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173. At 4:21pm on 04 Jun 2009, morias wrote:
During the school visit, children demonstrate to Gordon a successful balancing act.

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174. At 4:21pm on 04 Jun 2009, mikehaz90 wrote:
IKEA's instructions for flat pack wardrobes gets even more obscure

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175. At 4:24pm on 04 Jun 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
The quick fire challenge was proving more difficult than expected

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176. At 4:28pm on 04 Jun 2009, Shedsey wrote:
I simply can't dance with her dirty plates of meat, also her bum does look big from up here!!

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177. At 4:28pm on 04 Jun 2009, SheffTim wrote:
The table may be OK but this chair's rubbish.

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178. At 4:36pm on 04 Jun 2009, gm_coates wrote:
The Swedish Ladies Gymnastic team at their day job.

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179. At 4:40pm on 04 Jun 2009, abbotofmelrose wrote:
Hazel adn Jacqui find easier jobs to do!

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180. At 4:41pm on 04 Jun 2009, j-o-n-a-t-h-a-n wrote:
Not only do you get a great deal at IKEA - you can also save money on gym membership fees too!

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181. At 4:41pm on 04 Jun 2009, abbotofmelrose wrote:
Celebrity Cabinet Reshuffle with Hazel and Jacqui?

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182. At 4:47pm on 04 Jun 2009, abbotofmelrose wrote:
A Play on Wordrobes?

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183. At 4:49pm on 04 Jun 2009, abbotofmelrose wrote:
Big Brother Sweden was never going to be the same..

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184. At 4:51pm on 04 Jun 2009, abbotofmelrose wrote:
Aerobikea!

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185. At 4:53pm on 04 Jun 2009, archstinker wrote:

Quick ! Quick ! Ive got one coming, light my fart and stand back !

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186. At 4:55pm on 04 Jun 2009, RMutt-Urinal wrote:
This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the House Rules.
187. At 4:55pm on 04 Jun 2009, jarlaberg wrote:
"Why oh why can't you do the washing up when your finger nails are dry?"

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188. At 4:59pm on 04 Jun 2009, allhallowseve wrote:
It would turn out to be the first and last time that Cirque De Soleil were ever invited to compete on the program, "Ready, Steady, Cook".

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189. At 5:02pm on 04 Jun 2009, j-o-n-a-t-h-a-n wrote:

Crimewatch re-enactment of river pollution incident:

1. Boris balances on narrow bank
2. Boris falls in.

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190. At 5:05pm on 04 Jun 2009, 21gardener wrote:
For the main course we're having Albert Herring

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191. At 5:08pm on 04 Jun 2009, 21gardener wrote:
The Mikeado?

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192. At 5:08pm on 04 Jun 2009, Spockter Doc wrote:
"It says here that you need in insert the Aria widget into the D'Oyly Carte"

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193. At 5:09pm on 04 Jun 2009, chappers009 wrote:
Jacqui Smith in more hot water as her husband's claim for '2 Swedish dishwashers' is scrutinised further!

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194. At 5:10pm on 04 Jun 2009, 21gardener wrote:
Look Millicent! An Elektra hob and oven!

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195. At 5:16pm on 04 Jun 2009, BeckySnow wrote:
Rushed meatballs at lunchtime were having a detrimental effect on visitor numbers passing through the Kitchenware dept.

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196. At 5:18pm on 04 Jun 2009, mikehaz90 wrote:
I think they've sent me the wrong set of instructions, this is the Karma Sutra!

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197. At 5:23pm on 04 Jun 2009, dry_boak wrote:
Some Brazil players have been critical of manager Dunga's latest training exercise ahead of their weekend game against Uruguay

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198. At 5:32pm on 04 Jun 2009, PoacheLeRen wrote:
IKEA experiments with the human towel-holder

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199. At 5:41pm on 04 Jun 2009, PaulStNeots wrote:
Much like the furniture built at home, the Ikea girls both had a screw loose.

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200. At 6:02pm on 04 Jun 2009, W_K_Snowdon wrote:
The IKEA office party was like any other really, there was always at least one person in the kitchen listening to Leonard Cohen..

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201. At 6:03pm on 04 Jun 2009, tom_w_webb wrote:
The modern reworking of Bananas in Pyjamas proves popular.

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202. At 6:20pm on 04 Jun 2009, nhinton1 wrote:
MFI administrators limber up before the audit commences.

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203. At 6:21pm on 04 Jun 2009, Graphis wrote:
The two bits left over after assembly, that don't seem to fit anywhere.

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204. At 6:24pm on 04 Jun 2009, Vicky S wrote:
Unusually, the entire opera is written in the little used key of Allen.

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205. At 6:35pm on 04 Jun 2009, Vicky S wrote:
Act 2 Synopsis: In a stunning climax following the sisters' mournful duet bemoaning the smallness of Swedish pencils, Gudrun leaps to her death in a waste disposal unit leaving Astrid to mourn her with the famous aria "Oh great. How the hell am I supposed to get a plumber to come out on a Sunday evening?"

Act 3 Synopsis: The plumber arrives and Astrid's clothes fall off.

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206. At 6:36pm on 04 Jun 2009, nick_fowler wrote:
The poor girl on the floor only has one leg - but when you buy something from IKEA, there's alwyas at least one part missing

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207. At 6:39pm on 04 Jun 2009, nick_fowler wrote:
You'd better ask Kellogg's for two other models - these two just can't get the Special K logo at all

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208. At 6:40pm on 04 Jun 2009, nick_fowler wrote:
The BBC unveils its latest cookery series, "Two Flat Ladies"

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209. At 6:45pm on 04 Jun 2009, Steele Hawker wrote:
Sorry, Inger. You always have to stand up here when the toast's ready.

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210. At 6:48pm on 04 Jun 2009, timf-w wrote:
MP Horace Thornberry found that Parliament's largesse for household expenditures ended when he sought reimbursement for "nubile Swedish maids."

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211. At 6:52pm on 04 Jun 2009, Steele Hawker wrote:
The Peter Stringfellow Charlady Service was a big hit

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212. At 7:21pm on 04 Jun 2009, penny-farthing wrote:
And now,an update from the Counter Terrorism Training Centre.

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213. At 7:35pm on 04 Jun 2009, Rioja944 wrote:
'It's easy for you - you're a counter Tenor'

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214. At 7:42pm on 04 Jun 2009, Donleavey wrote:
IKEA little silhouetto of a man,
Scaramouche, Scaramouche, will you do the Fandango...

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215. At 7:44pm on 04 Jun 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
It's a simple plot really. As the other guests feast, Fiona dances and sings, whilst Leonora gets distracted again. Hugh lures Emma into another room, and when she screams for help, Jeanine accuses him of infidelity. But then Marissa, Ana and Olivia appear and confirm their knowledge of his infidelity. Hugh makes his escape in the confusion and the feasting resumes.

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216. At 7:51pm on 04 Jun 2009, allhallowseve wrote:
Warning: the recipe may contains nuts.

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217. At 8:14pm on 04 Jun 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
The Joneses think they're so special with their stainless steel appliances. Just wait until they see our flatpack kitchen complete with artisan alliances.

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218. At 8:47pm on 04 Jun 2009, penny-farthing wrote:
Preparations for the ascent of the west face of the refrigerator were going to plan.

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219. At 8:56pm on 04 Jun 2009, honesthulley wrote:
"I told you it was to high to be a Bidet."

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220. At 8:57pm on 04 Jun 2009, Steele Hawker wrote:
How can any woman run a house, cook three meals a day for the whole family, run the children back and forth to school, and still have time for Yoga and a little relaxation? Contact ClonesRUs now.

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221. At 8:59pm on 04 Jun 2009, Steele Hawker wrote:
Stoepford was a small town around fifty miles north of Stockholm ...

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222. At 9:02pm on 04 Jun 2009, archyogi wrote:
As the credit crunch hits the London 2012 budget, the proposed new gymnastics venue gets its first test-run.

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223. At 9:48pm on 04 Jun 2009, redalfa147 wrote:
Session 1 of Alain Robert's 'spiderman' masterclass wasn't what Debbie and Sandra were expecting.

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224. At 9:49pm on 04 Jun 2009, jollyjb123jb wrote:
They're preparing a well balanced meal.

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225. At 9:49pm on 04 Jun 2009, MightyGiddyUpGal wrote:
Jill and Edda's excellent indenture

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226. At 9:50pm on 04 Jun 2009, mhansford888 wrote:
Audrey's new home visit yoga sessions were proving popular...

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227. At 9:51pm on 04 Jun 2009, mhansford888 wrote:
Audrey's home visit yoga classes proved popular...

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228. At 9:52pm on 04 Jun 2009, redalfa147 wrote:
They think of everything. The kitchen even has somewhere to park your bike.

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229. At 9:55pm on 04 Jun 2009, MightyGiddyUpGal wrote:
Banquet entertainment at the multi-taskers annual convention

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230. At 9:57pm on 04 Jun 2009, jollyjb123jb wrote:
My TAP dancing career is going down the plughole.

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231. At 10:04pm on 04 Jun 2009, jollyjb123jb wrote:
Very kitsch n sink

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232. At 10:06pm on 04 Jun 2009, aquaflot wrote:
Warning ! : Do not put your feet on your desk when sitting in one of those castorised chairs. You end up flat on your pack.

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233. At 10:12pm on 04 Jun 2009, redalfa147 wrote:
Before the recording of 'Ready Steady Cook' had even started, Ainsley was regretting having two contemporary dancers as competitors.

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234. At 10:17pm on 04 Jun 2009, MukkaMonkey wrote:
ValerieGanne and Rogueslr set up their own private caption competition...

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235. At 10:18pm on 04 Jun 2009, Vicky S wrote:
In an alternative universe The Other Britain's Got Talent Auditions continue to enthral.

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236. At 10:19pm on 04 Jun 2009, MukkaMonkey wrote:
The MP's claim for "Ikea Kitchen Utensils" was somewhat dodgy...

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237. At 10:21pm on 04 Jun 2009, MukkaMonkey wrote:
Damn... There is *always* something missing.... it says there should be 3 of us in the box!

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238. At 10:21pm on 04 Jun 2009, MightyGiddyUpGal wrote:
The Stepfjord Wives

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239. At 10:22pm on 04 Jun 2009, MukkaMonkey wrote:
"Ah! Now I can read it... it says on the soles of your feet that you can be found in Aisle 17 Shelf C"

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240. At 10:23pm on 04 Jun 2009, MukkaMonkey wrote:
"Does my bum look big in this?"

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241. At 10:25pm on 04 Jun 2009, Vicky S wrote:
Helga's magnetic feet and Lotte's magnetic hand trick always went down well at informal gatherings, but few knew how hard the girls practised in secret.

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242. At 10:25pm on 04 Jun 2009, MukkaMonkey wrote:
Ooohhhh! I can just see now... there are two gorgeous blokes dressed in Lilac and Pink in the Black Kitchen just over there...

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243. At 10:26pm on 04 Jun 2009, MukkaMonkey wrote:
No! Really? I was a city banker this time last year too!

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244. At 10:29pm on 04 Jun 2009, MukkaMonkey wrote:
Yes that's definitely the problem... There's a "NOBBE" stuck between my "KREVAS" and your "ANKEL"...

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245. At 10:33pm on 04 Jun 2009, MukkaMonkey wrote:
Nope... there's no "small quantity of kudos" up here... what about down there?

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246. At 10:34pm on 04 Jun 2009, MightyGiddyUpGal wrote:
Extreme grooming tip #34 - the pedicure

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247. At 10:38pm on 04 Jun 2009, MightyGiddyUpGal wrote:
The Swedish version of Y-M-C-A was a bit tricky to sing

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248. At 10:39pm on 04 Jun 2009, MightyGiddyUpGal wrote:
Right, now toss me the hula hoops!

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249. At 10:44pm on 04 Jun 2009, TheRealCatherineO wrote:
You can spot the new mums a mile off - they can't look at a tap without doing their pelvic floor exercises.

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250. At 10:52pm on 04 Jun 2009, Hobbitmorley wrote:
Please assume your positions for self assembly

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251. At 10:53pm on 04 Jun 2009, *Exiled Canary wrote:
Young mistress Hubbard
Went to the cupboard
To fetch her dear sister a bone
When she got there
With her feet in the air
Her sister behaved like a drone

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252. At 10:59pm on 04 Jun 2009, Arsene about wrote:
The credit cruch heavily affected London's setup for the 2012 olympic games

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253. At 11:00pm on 04 Jun 2009, Arsene about wrote:
The only rings these gymnasts would be using were on the hob!

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254. At 11:17pm on 04 Jun 2009, MeFromTheUniverse wrote:
IKEA staff demonstrate how you will be travelling after you fit all your purchases into your car

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255. At 11:22pm on 04 Jun 2009, karls97 wrote:
"You can't be a desklamp on the floor, I'm the desklamp!"

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256. At 11:23pm on 04 Jun 2009, gm_coates wrote:
Helga manages to ride the surf all the way to the kitchen as Inge wipes out onto the lino.

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257. At 11:23pm on 04 Jun 2009, MeFromTheUniverse wrote:
(204 gets my vote as it was right on the laughter button)

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258. At 11:30pm on 04 Jun 2009, jollyjb123jb wrote:
Someones been on the cooking sherry.

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259. At 11:35pm on 04 Jun 2009, gm_coates wrote:
The Beach Boys' modern female Counter-parts, The Beech-effect Girls

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260. At 11:37pm on 04 Jun 2009, eltelsopwith wrote:
In this production who was playing the British public and who the MP was left for the audience to decide.

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261. At 11:42pm on 04 Jun 2009, juanshow wrote:
AIDA, IKEA, it was an easy mistake to make, as Ingrid tried explaining to Frida.

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262. At 11:46pm on 04 Jun 2009, ARoseByAnyOther wrote:
Babette's Feast - The Prequel

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263. At 11:47pm on 04 Jun 2009, juanshow wrote:
And now for the tap dancing finale!

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264. At 11:47pm on 04 Jun 2009, fandango2 wrote:
"You turn if you want to. This lady's not for turning"

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265. At 11:54pm on 04 Jun 2009, ARoseByAnyOther wrote:
Why is it I'm always the slide?

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266. At 00:06am on 05 Jun 2009, redalfa147 wrote:
...and this exhibit is called 'Tight-rope walker meets bicycle park'

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267. At 00:08am on 05 Jun 2009, naturallystrange wrote:
The Cupboards are called Billy you say? That explains why neither of them was answering...

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268. At 00:14am on 05 Jun 2009, redalfa147 wrote:
With the benefit of hindsight, calling the kitchen range "Akstupeeda" was a mistake.

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269. At 00:55am on 05 Jun 2009, redalfa147 wrote:
...and in the final of 'The World's Worst Hide-n-Seekers' are...

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270. At 01:00am on 05 Jun 2009, redalfa147 wrote:
This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the House Rules.
271. At 01:41am on 05 Jun 2009, mikehaz90 wrote:
so, yeah, I claimed these on expenses, they do anything I want, watch!

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272. At 01:41am on 05 Jun 2009, ARoseByAnyOther wrote:
Was it Colonel Mustard in the kitchen with the cleaver?

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273. At 02:13am on 05 Jun 2009, Kieran Boyle wrote:
Ikea's Heel.

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274. At 02:47am on 05 Jun 2009, Kieran Boyle wrote:
The true horror was only revealed after the Blue Screen Separation process.

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275. At 03:38am on 05 Jun 2009, kathrn wrote:
The instructions don't make any sense this way up either.

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276. At 04:57am on 05 Jun 2009, sarahtrieste wrote:
Y'know, I think they gave us the wrong set of instructions for this surf'n'snow-boarding stimulator.

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277. At 05:02am on 05 Jun 2009, sarahtrieste wrote:
(whoops - correction)

Y'know, I think they gave us the wrong set of instructions for this surf'n'snow board simulator.

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278. At 05:53am on 05 Jun 2009, Digrgrl wrote:
Are you SURE this is how the little picture in the instructions looked?

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279. At 06:58am on 05 Jun 2009, itrainsonthemoon wrote:
"The wind is definitely less gusty up here than down there", said the trendy extractor fan engineer.

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280. At 08:04am on 05 Jun 2009, misstraceyg wrote:
no, i still can't see where the top C fits.

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281. At 08:21am on 05 Jun 2009, Valerie Ganne wrote:
What was to have been a respectful tribute to America's President Eisenhower was marred by a spelling error

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282. At 08:22am on 05 Jun 2009, Valerie Ganne wrote:
So, which one's Ikea and which one's Tina Turner?

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283. At 08:24am on 05 Jun 2009, Valerie Ganne wrote:
In the Scandinavian store's tribute to YMCA, I and K were just out of shot to the left

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284. At 08:24am on 05 Jun 2009, Pendragon wrote:
Gym nauseum

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285. At 08:38am on 05 Jun 2009, ManxDave57 wrote:
BBC announce new extreme cookery series

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286. At 08:40am on 05 Jun 2009, ManxDave57 wrote:
OK, I'm ready. Bring on the piano !

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287. At 08:42am on 05 Jun 2009, ManxDave57 wrote:
How yoga helps in the cookery process

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288. At 08:46am on 05 Jun 2009, ManxDave57 wrote:
Anna Freda had an irrational fear of verrucas

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289. At 08:52am on 05 Jun 2009, hitbarker wrote:
the new Bananawoman job required a much smaller skill set than previously thought.

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290. At 08:53am on 05 Jun 2009, blogbuster wrote:
Heston Blumenthal denied claims that the outbreak of athlete's mouth originated at the Fat Duck

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291. At 08:53am on 05 Jun 2009, campaign1 wrote:
Mrs Ramsey's Kitchen Nightmares

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292. At 08:54am on 05 Jun 2009, blogbuster wrote:
Heston Blumenthal was wishing he'd been a bit more specific in his advert for 'two experimental chefs'

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293. At 09:06am on 05 Jun 2009, abbotofmelrose wrote:
A Ramsey Street Kitchen Nightmare?

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294. At 09:14am on 05 Jun 2009, Maggiemaynotbe wrote:
Ex-MPs retrain and discover unexpected talents.

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295. At 09:15am on 05 Jun 2009, Maggiemaynotbe wrote:
A bit less of the vibrato please - this cupboard's already shaking.

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296. At 09:16am on 05 Jun 2009, redalfa147 wrote:
Kate Walsh and Yasmina Siadatan will do anything to hear Sir Alan tell them they're hired.

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297. At 09:16am on 05 Jun 2009, welovesoup wrote:
When Sylvie and Ulka realised they'd be locked in after hours, they took great steps to avoid setting off the laser-monitored alarm at work...

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298. At 09:16am on 05 Jun 2009, Fungus the Bogeyman wrote:
The Muppet chef's assistants search for the lost crockery.

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299. At 09:20am on 05 Jun 2009, redalfa147 wrote:
Ikea's version of a cabinet reshuffle.

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300. At 09:20am on 05 Jun 2009, woofio wrote:
The beta version of IKEA's wifi game fails it's first test.

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301. At 09:22am on 05 Jun 2009, redalfa147 wrote:
The loser resulting from the kitchen-cabinet reshuffle was obvious.

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302. At 09:22am on 05 Jun 2009, Maggiemaynotbe wrote:
Glyndebourne forced to accept some very dodgy sponsorship in financially tight times.

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303. At 09:23am on 05 Jun 2009, TyIpswich wrote:
Translating the assembly manual from chinese to english to swedish left the couple confused as to exactly who this 'Alan Key' was and what role he played.

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304. At 09:26am on 05 Jun 2009, TyIpswich wrote:
Cheap Kitchen, Badly dressed wannabes, Plastic Seats, Dropping viewer numbers...it's got to be Big Brother 10!

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305. At 09:27am on 05 Jun 2009, grazvalentine wrote:
This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the House Rules.
306. At 09:30am on 05 Jun 2009, TyIpswich wrote:
The police negotiator arrived too late to save the first suicide jumper, but he hoped that offering a 0% Credit agreement for 2 years on the kitchen would be enough to coax the remaining lady down.

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307. At 09:31am on 05 Jun 2009, TyIpswich wrote:
"You think that's impressive, you should see what they are doing with lampshades in the bedroom department. There was MDF everywhere!"

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308. At 09:32am on 05 Jun 2009, Maggiemaynotbe wrote:
The latest production of Britten's "Turn of the Screw' was not quite what audiences expected.

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309. At 09:34am on 05 Jun 2009, TyIpswich wrote:
Sweden's elite special forces unit SSS (Sea Side Snipers) realised that their usual camoflauge simply wasn't effective in a built up area.

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310. At 09:40am on 05 Jun 2009, SimonRooke wrote:
Stop moaning Bev, if head office says it'll sell more kitchens just do it.

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311. At 09:44am on 05 Jun 2009, SeanieSmith wrote:
"This is no use. Maybe we should just buy an Allen Key?"

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312. At 09:50am on 05 Jun 2009, Spockter Doc wrote:
And it was when the MFI ballet team arrived that the fight started...

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313. At 09:51am on 05 Jun 2009, Steele Hawker wrote:
This year, the Batley Townswomen's Guild are putting on a re-enactment of the D-Day Landings

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314. At 09:52am on 05 Jun 2009, redalfa147 wrote:
One moment she was standing on the kitchen top with her friend, and then the cabinet re-shuffled.

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315. At 09:54am on 05 Jun 2009, SeanieSmith wrote:
"I've seen some strange things in my time...but chips with mayonnaise?"

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316. At 09:55am on 05 Jun 2009, Steele Hawker wrote:
Perhaps Madam had intended to specify non-slip flooring, but ...

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317. At 09:56am on 05 Jun 2009, TyIpswich wrote:
Ikea's new spin-off company offering Parachute lessons is met with great expectation but also uncertainty.

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318. At 09:56am on 05 Jun 2009, SeanieSmith wrote:
"Pheeeww...I'll be glad when we're finished, Jill. Can't wait to get home and put my feet up."

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319. At 09:56am on 05 Jun 2009, Steele Hawker wrote:
Sarah! The waste-disposal unit was not intended to be used for clipping your toenails.

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320. At 09:58am on 05 Jun 2009, j-o-n-a-t-h-a-n wrote:
Yasmina and Kate get to grips with the final task.

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321. At 09:58am on 05 Jun 2009, TyIpswich wrote:
Tensions run high as the two new recruits complete the final stages of their induction training, pouncing on the unexpecting customer as if from nowhere. Failure at this point would prevent them from working in the industry ever again...even B&Q wouldn't touch them.

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322. At 10:02am on 05 Jun 2009, redalfa147 wrote:
Thrill seekers experience the latest ride at 'Flatpack World'.

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323. At 10:10am on 05 Jun 2009, fandango2 wrote:
"Men eh! Every time I ask Dave to help in the kitchen, he makes a song and dance about it."

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324. At 10:12am on 05 Jun 2009, Mr Snoozy wrote:
10 things to do while waiting for Microwave popcorn (Part 1)

(p.s. no. 186 made me laugh out loud - brilliant!)

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325. At 10:13am on 05 Jun 2009, Skiron wrote:
Sandra found the idea position to watch the TV located over the cooker.

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326. At 10:14am on 05 Jun 2009, TyIpswich wrote:
Although the pairs performance wasn't enough to get them into the semi-finals of Britain's Got Talent, Simon Cowell promised them a contract cleaning his house.

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327. At 10:14am on 05 Jun 2009, Mr Snoozy wrote:
Running a home, looking after the kids, and having a full time job had always proved to be a precarious balancing act...

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328. At 10:15am on 05 Jun 2009, fandango2 wrote:
"That's the last time I'm drinking Swedish coffee."

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329. At 10:17am on 05 Jun 2009, iansessford wrote:
If I had known Swede was going to be this much trouble I would have asked for Turnip!

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330. At 10:17am on 05 Jun 2009, redalfa147 wrote:
Hazel Blears and Jacqui Smith discover new cabinet positions.

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331. At 10:19am on 05 Jun 2009, TyIpswich wrote:
Total Wipeout's budget is cut in the new series which sees the Argentinian set replaced with a Kitchen in Croydon and Richard Hammond replaced by John Fashnu.

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332. At 10:27am on 05 Jun 2009, SeanieSmith wrote:
Despite the best efforts of IKEA staff, sales of the new glass chair and walk-in sink were disappointing.

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333. At 10:40am on 05 Jun 2009, juanshow wrote:
Slipped on the soap opera.

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334. At 10:43am on 05 Jun 2009, strangegurl wrote:
Ikea's take on the tradional lap dancing club.

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335. At 10:48am on 05 Jun 2009, Mute Joe wrote:
Marjorie may have been a bit on the side but at least no-one wiped the floor with her.

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336. At 10:48am on 05 Jun 2009, Steele Hawker wrote:
Oh Hazel! I did tell you not to ride your motorbike right into the House of Commons kitchens.

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337. At 10:52am on 05 Jun 2009, Fungus the Bogeyman wrote:
Swede n Sour

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338. At 10:53am on 05 Jun 2009, CairngormMcWomble wrote:
Hazel Blears has trouble adjusting to life as a backbencher

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339. At 10:57am on 05 Jun 2009, Lloyd-Barnes wrote:
Although cautious, Arabela wasnt convinced that Patsy had indeed caught foot and mouth disease

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340. At 11:05am on 05 Jun 2009, stellarbluesky wrote:
On IKEA's forced route march, the weary shopper's will to live schnapps at sudden sight of an unbalanced menu - crisp Swedish deeds of herring-do, with upside-down pudding flung in.

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341. At 11:06am on 05 Jun 2009, jollyjb123jb wrote:
No! It's YMCA

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342. At 11:06am on 05 Jun 2009, Steele Hawker wrote:
I'm sure our MP's ducks will be very happy in here

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343. At 11:07am on 05 Jun 2009, iansessford wrote:
It wasn`t quite what they had in mind when they ordered the 4`foot` worktop.

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344. At 11:11am on 05 Jun 2009, stilllitterarty wrote:
Darling,the kitchen keepfitters have arrived

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345. At 11:12am on 05 Jun 2009, jollyjb123jb wrote:
They've tried everything and they still can't get out of *$?!*?% IKEA

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346. At 11:12am on 05 Jun 2009, alegrias3 wrote:
"OK Donna, just admit you can't read Chinese."

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347. At 11:15am on 05 Jun 2009, Woundedpride wrote:
"If you'd put the glue pot away like I said, Caroline, this would never have happened"

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348. At 11:15am on 05 Jun 2009, iansessford wrote:
Ingrid took up her normal Friday morning position under the extractor fan
following their regular Thursday curry night.

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349. At 11:16am on 05 Jun 2009, Woundedpride wrote:
"And you say that if we stay like this it'll improve digital TV reception?"

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350. At 11:16am on 05 Jun 2009, alegrias3 wrote:
The Swedish Olympic diving team suffer drastic cutbacks.

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351. At 11:26am on 05 Jun 2009, Woundedpride wrote:
"Well how was I to know the nail varish would stick to the work top, Jemima?"

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352. At 11:26am on 05 Jun 2009, Lloyd-Barnes wrote:
but the instructions say you adjust the height by raising up the feet

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353. At 11:28am on 05 Jun 2009, SundayParkGeorge wrote:
Bank holiday weekend special. Free pair of colour coordinated gymnasts with every fitted kitchen. While stocks last.

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354. At 11:29am on 05 Jun 2009, Mark wrote:
Just as things were beginning to get slightly interesting a zealous health and safety officer orders the whole show to be diassembled and put away safely under the stairs.

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355. At 11:30am on 05 Jun 2009, ARoseByAnyOther wrote:
So you majored in media studies, too?

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356. At 11:31am on 05 Jun 2009, FrankGrimesJnr wrote:
This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the House Rules.
357. At 11:32am on 05 Jun 2009, FrankGrimesJnr wrote:
This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the House Rules.
358. At 11:33am on 05 Jun 2009, Northern_Simon wrote:
Catering department of Cirque du Soleil.

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359. At 11:34am on 05 Jun 2009, blogbuster wrote:
Sorry Julie you're stuck fast. It's a bit harsh of B&Q to superglue you to the worktop just for doing a poo in the display toilet.

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360. At 11:38am on 05 Jun 2009, dragonpride wrote:
Experts finally trace the source of the mysterious outbreak of athletes foot that had recently plagued new kitchen owners.

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361. At 11:42am on 05 Jun 2009, Rossinny wrote:
Ikea unveil their new line of flat-pack Ulrikas

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362. At 11:44am on 05 Jun 2009, SundayParkGeorge wrote:
An opera at Wembley? What's the score?

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363. At 11:44am on 05 Jun 2009, Rossinny wrote:
This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the House Rules.
364. At 11:50am on 05 Jun 2009, virtualfang wrote:
'My IKEA here I Go Again,
My I Kea cant resist Ya
My Ikea in the show kitchen
just how much I missed ya

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365. At 11:50am on 05 Jun 2009, IanPol wrote:
Cabinet re-shuffling the IKEA way.

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366. At 11:53am on 05 Jun 2009, virtualfang wrote:
So the winner takes it all
And the the loser has to fall
Throw a dice, cold as ice
Way down here, someone dear
Takes it all, has to fall....

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367. At 11:54am on 05 Jun 2009, placey1 wrote:
The Swedish competitors took the annual "pull my finger" world championships to a new level.

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368. At 11:56am on 05 Jun 2009, Vicky S wrote:
" Yes I know it's embarassing, but think what poor Lars and Gunnar have got to do in the lighting scene....."

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369. At 11:57am on 05 Jun 2009, haggis1876 wrote:
The search for Rob Falconer continues....

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370. At 12:00pm on 05 Jun 2009, dragonpride wrote:
The new government 'Kitchen Scrappage Scheme' that provides 2 free kitchen assistants is proving a hit with UK households though officials admit that there have been a few 'technical' problems.

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371. At 12:00pm on 05 Jun 2009, haggis1876 wrote:
After the high level dusting it was time to v-mop the floor.

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372. At 12:00pm on 05 Jun 2009, virtualfang wrote:
Take it easy (take it easy)
Better slow down girl
That's no way to go
Does your mother know?
Take it easy (take it easy)
Try to cool it girl
Take it nice and slow
Does your mother know?

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373. At 12:02pm on 05 Jun 2009, andyk910 wrote:
I tell you I have read the instructions carefully and they say 'Carefully position the feet on the cabinet"

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374. At 12:03pm on 05 Jun 2009, virtualfang wrote:
You can dance, you can jive, having the time of your life
See that girl, in the kitchen scene, dog as the Dancing Queen

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375. At 12:04pm on 05 Jun 2009, Woundedpride wrote:
"Oh my God, Vanessa! When I lie like this, my knees disappear!"

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376. At 12:06pm on 05 Jun 2009, Woundedpride wrote:
"No, just lie like that, Harriet. I still need to get the hose for your colonic irrigation..."

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377. At 12:07pm on 05 Jun 2009, Woundedpride wrote:
IKEA's new quality inspection team always had fun on Fridays!

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378. At 12:07pm on 05 Jun 2009, Maggiemaynotbe wrote:
No, it's not working. What do you have to do to find an assistant around here?

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379. At 12:08pm on 05 Jun 2009, andyk910 wrote:
"Ready, Steady, Crook"

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380. At 12:09pm on 05 Jun 2009, SundayParkGeorge wrote:
Do you think we might have misinterpreted the instructions to glue the feet on the worktop?

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381. At 12:09pm on 05 Jun 2009, fbxiii wrote:
This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the House Rules.
382. At 12:10pm on 05 Jun 2009, virtualfang wrote:
Honey Honey the Mama-Mias kitchen sink sequel dress rehersal:

So stay on the ground, girl, you better not get too high
There's no other place in this world where I rather would be

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383. At 12:10pm on 05 Jun 2009, Woundedpride wrote:
When the self-assembly instructions turned out to be in Swahili, Louise and her sister did their best to make sense of them...

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384. At 12:11pm on 05 Jun 2009, fbxiii wrote:
Simon Cowell wasnt impressed with the kitchen unit 'tight rope' act.

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385. At 12:12pm on 05 Jun 2009, ARoseByAnyOther wrote:
Stop your moaning. We're just two DIY'ers short of being the next ABBA.

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386. At 12:12pm on 05 Jun 2009, SundayParkGeorge wrote:
I know I said I'd bend over backwards to get the job, but I never realised they'd take me literally.

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387. At 12:17pm on 05 Jun 2009, virtualfang wrote:
Honey Honey the musical Second song Lay all your love on me

Valerie 'It was like shooting a sitting duck
A little small talk, a smile and baby I was stuck'

Rebecca 'I still don't know what you've done with me
A grown-up woman should never fall so easily'

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388. At 12:20pm on 05 Jun 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
A few more weeks and with the store discount I'll have enought to buy a proper bed

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389. At 12:20pm on 05 Jun 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
A few more weeks and with the store discount I'll have enough to buy a proper bed
(correction)

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390. At 12:22pm on 05 Jun 2009, Woundedpride wrote:
The girls missed the climbing apparatus in the park when they moved their food business indoors...

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391. At 12:23pm on 05 Jun 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
And in the next act, we bring down the matching curtains

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392. At 12:24pm on 05 Jun 2009, Woundedpride wrote:
"That's right Miriam. Legs together, bum in the air and baby will stay put until we have our tea!"

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393. At 12:26pm on 05 Jun 2009, Woundedpride wrote:
"Erm, Harriet. That was a glue gun, not a new toenail painting device!"

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394. At 12:28pm on 05 Jun 2009, Woundedpride wrote:
Louise and Jennifer doubted the advice they'd been given at reception about what to do in the event of an earthquake at the hotel.

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395. At 12:28pm on 05 Jun 2009, Kaylie wrote:
The latest novelty salt & pepper sets had gone a bit too far

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396. At 12:28pm on 05 Jun 2009, virtualfang wrote:
Honey Honey The musical Third song Knowing Me Knowing You

Rebecca' In these old familiar rooms ,Children would play
Now there's only emptiness, Nothing to say'

Valerie 'Knowing me, knowing you, aha
There is nothing we can do
Knowing me, knowing you, aha'

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397. At 12:29pm on 05 Jun 2009, Emwemm wrote:
(to the tune of Dancing Queen):
"We like to dance and clean,
With our feet and some Mr Sheen..."

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398. At 12:30pm on 05 Jun 2009, RMutt-Urinal wrote:
Paediatrics - the art of balancing a child on one's feet.

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399. At 12:30pm on 05 Jun 2009, virtualindividual wrote:
How's anyone supposed to follow the plot when the lyrics are all in Japanese?

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400. At 12:34pm on 05 Jun 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
Is anyone still awake out there Ingrid?

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