Caption Competition

14:04 UK time, Friday, 22 May 2009

It's the Caption Competition.

The competition is now closed. Full rules can be seen here [PDF].

Thanks to all who entered. The prize of a small amount of kudos to the following:

6. KieranOx:
Alton Towers refute "boring" criticism of latest roller-coaster.

5. ManxDave57:
The "pop up" indicators in the early models were not a great success.

4. sleepingal1979:
Jenny found level 8 of the new 3D Frogger experience particularly difficult

3. SeanieSmith:
The original British Leyland sat nav had a few teething problems.

2. Kyuzosan:
Sir Peter explained that the duck transporters were necessary for conveying the ducks between his constituency and his London apartment in the manner to which they had become accustomed.

1. garethb378:
The latest efforts to cure Jeremy Clarkson's insomnia were thus far proving ineffective...

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Comments

1. At 12:14pm on 21 May 2009, omnipotent wrote:
The car scrappage scheme gets off to a flying start!

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2. At 12:15pm on 21 May 2009, PendragonF wrote:
Good grief! How much gold are they expecting to steal this time?

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3. At 12:16pm on 21 May 2009, PendragonF wrote:
Look out, lads, here comes Evel Knievel

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4. At 12:16pm on 21 May 2009, SimonRooke wrote:
Never has so much rust been gathered in one place at one time.

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5. At 12:17pm on 21 May 2009, PendragonF wrote:
You were only supposed to blow the bloody doors off!

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6. At 12:18pm on 21 May 2009, SimonRooke wrote:
Keep moving lads, she's a traffic warden.

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7. At 12:19pm on 21 May 2009, PendragonF wrote:
Ford workers arrive at Dagenham

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8. At 12:20pm on 21 May 2009, PendragonF wrote:
Lavinia had misunderstood the invitation to "Come in a mini," and had put her shortest skirt on

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9. At 12:21pm on 21 May 2009, MadWelsh wrote:
The new 'Minis only' lane on the motorway seemed to cause a bit of a tailback

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10. At 12:21pm on 21 May 2009, garethb378 wrote:
The latest efforts to cure Jeremy Clarkson's insomnia were thus far proving ineffective.....

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11. At 12:22pm on 21 May 2009, PendragonF wrote:
The car's designer had resulted in the Mini's catchphrase of "Issigonis tart?"

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12. At 12:22pm on 21 May 2009, The_Bob_Glasgow wrote:
An MP needs some help returning all the Minis he bought on expenses.

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13. At 12:24pm on 21 May 2009, ValerieGanne wrote:
The ruddy car transporter broke down!

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14. At 12:26pm on 21 May 2009, ValerieGanne wrote:
Everyone was waiting for the signal that the Mini Dominoes was about to start

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15. At 12:27pm on 21 May 2009, ValerieGanne wrote:
Everyone was waiting for the signal that the Mini Dominoes was about to start

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16. At 12:28pm on 21 May 2009, Candid96 wrote:
This was not what Sue had in mind when she succeeded in her application to handle mini crocodiles at the zoo.

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17. At 12:29pm on 21 May 2009, ValerieGanne wrote:
Policewoman Kendall searched every car for hidden gold and never even realised Charlie Croker was stealing minis this time

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18. At 12:30pm on 21 May 2009, ValerieGanne wrote:
At the front, Jerry hoped all the other Minis had the optional extra of brakes

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19. At 12:31pm on 21 May 2009, LaurenceLane wrote:
They were all there with two notable exceptions, Minnehaha and Minnie Mouse.

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20. At 12:32pm on 21 May 2009, LaurenceLane wrote:
Are you really the only one who can afford a Sat Nav?

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21. At 12:32pm on 21 May 2009, ValerieGanne wrote:
This North American tribe had the most unusual totem pole

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22. At 12:32pm on 21 May 2009, Chopper32 wrote:
Formula One budget cap revised again.

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23. At 12:33pm on 21 May 2009, Chopper32 wrote:
Queen unveils updated Trooping of the Colour plans.

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24. At 12:34pm on 21 May 2009, ValerieGanne wrote:
As they sold the 150th. in an hour, British Leyland began to suspect they were selling the Mini too cheaply

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25. At 12:35pm on 21 May 2009, ValerieGanne wrote:
Sorry, guys, but you got it wrong - it was meant to be skirts

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26. At 12:35pm on 21 May 2009, virtualfang wrote:
The Self Preservation Society started off on its annual picnic

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27. At 12:37pm on 21 May 2009, virtualfang wrote:
The cabinet were amazed to find their MINIsterial cars outside the commons

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28. At 12:38pm on 21 May 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
"The pallbearers for Chrysler and GM have arrived."

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29. At 12:42pm on 21 May 2009, The_Bob_Glasgow wrote:
The downturn has caused some slight changes to this year's Indy 500...

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30. At 12:43pm on 21 May 2009, Canaryads wrote:
'The budget cap has clearly taken affect as the teams line up for the new F1 season'

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31. At 12:43pm on 21 May 2009, SteeleHawker wrote:
The original name for the car was the Mini Miner, but Margaret Thatcher objected to the name and got it changed

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32. At 12:44pm on 21 May 2009, Canaryads wrote:
Darling launches his 'CAR FOR THE PEOPLE'

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33. At 12:44pm on 21 May 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
Too much dosh and not enough tact #34: You cannot decide on a colour so you get one of each

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34. At 12:45pm on 21 May 2009, SteeleHawker wrote:
All Britain's MPs turn up singing "The Self-Preservation Society"

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35. At 12:49pm on 21 May 2009, MrSnoozy wrote:
James apologised for the tailback, but explained that his "little Bessie" had been stuck in 2nd gear since 1987..

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36. At 12:49pm on 21 May 2009, SteeleHawker wrote:
The Italian Job lot

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37. At 12:50pm on 21 May 2009, MrSnoozy wrote:
"And if we don't finish Donnington Park in time for the 2010 GP, this is how it'll look in 2011"...

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38. At 12:51pm on 21 May 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
The clowns would ariive under separate cover

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39. At 12:51pm on 21 May 2009, SteeleHawker wrote:
It was strange, thought Fred in the first car, you didn't normally have to queue up for leaded fuel

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40. At 12:51pm on 21 May 2009, sleepingal1979 wrote:
Jenny found level 8 of the new 3D Frogger experience particularly difficult

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41. At 12:52pm on 21 May 2009, rogueslr wrote:
The Mini was very much like the present government, expensive to maintain, pricey to run, out dated and clapped out.

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42. At 12:52pm on 21 May 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
The clowns would arrive under separate cover
spelling

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43. At 12:53pm on 21 May 2009, SteeleHawker wrote:
Q - What's worse than being stuck behind a Mini towing a caravan?

A - Being stuck behind a Mini towing thirteen other Minis.

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44. At 12:55pm on 21 May 2009, Woundedpride wrote:
MP apologises for claiming for 'small car collection'

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45. At 12:55pm on 21 May 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
Traffic warden: The name's Bean, B-E-A-N

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46. At 12:55pm on 21 May 2009, SteeleHawker wrote:
"I say, let's make a rally out of this," said Monty and Carlo in the first car

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47. At 12:56pm on 21 May 2009, SteeleHawker wrote:
I knew I should never have bought this car off Coco at Chipperfield's - the doors won't even fall off

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48. At 12:57pm on 21 May 2009, Woundedpride wrote:
'Daphne, I think we need to tell your family we need to spend some time alone occasionally...'

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49. At 12:58pm on 21 May 2009, tonysibley wrote:
I was driving an old Mini.. Can't be that hard to find..

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50. At 12:59pm on 21 May 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
Steady on, wait until we're out of her sight before you start waving the checkered flag, over.

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51. At 1:00pm on 21 May 2009, Woundedpride wrote:
Britain's new motorway policy of 'a lane for each make of car' was at least neater, thought Vanessa.

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52. At 1:00pm on 21 May 2009, Fauconnier wrote:
British Leyland made a new car today - if it's a success, they might consider building another one tomorrow

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53. At 1:02pm on 21 May 2009, Fauconnier wrote:
As the old saying goes, "Morris less"

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54. At 1:03pm on 21 May 2009, Fauconnier wrote:
At the end of the working day, the gnomes all leave the Chelsea Flower Show

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55. At 1:04pm on 21 May 2009, MrSnoozy wrote:
"We're not jokes, we're little minis folks, why does everybody laugh at us?"!!

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56. At 1:05pm on 21 May 2009, rustbucketjohnson wrote:
They were only 50 yet come monday morning they'd already started queing for their pensions

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57. At 1:06pm on 21 May 2009, Fauconnier wrote:
After the Smart car comes the Stupid car

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58. At 1:06pm on 21 May 2009, Fauconnier wrote:
The Weebles arrive for work at Hamley's

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59. At 1:08pm on 21 May 2009, Woundedpride wrote:
Out-of-work moat cleaners protest outside Parliament.

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60. At 1:08pm on 21 May 2009, rogueslr wrote:
British Leyland reveal their new Mini Tommy Cooper, just like that!

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61. At 1:08pm on 21 May 2009, rustbucketjohnson wrote:
Someone had done a very poor job of ordering flags for everyone.

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62. At 1:09pm on 21 May 2009, Fauconnier wrote:
So, we fit new door handles and a go-faster stripe, and we call it the Tata Nano

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63. At 1:09pm on 21 May 2009, billcam wrote:
Michael Jacksons tour manager admits that the 5 day delay in Jackos comeback might, in some part, be due to him hiring the wrong vehicles to transport his makeup

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64. At 1:10pm on 21 May 2009, Woundedpride wrote:
'No Desmond, they think you know where the parking places are'

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65. At 1:11pm on 21 May 2009, rustbucketjohnson wrote:
The new Mini was a bit worried about in-breeding in his family tree...

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66. At 1:12pm on 21 May 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
"You've obviously misunderstood what we meant by measuring 0 to 60"

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67. At 1:13pm on 21 May 2009, rustbucketjohnson wrote:
Sue the steward had experienced deja vu before, but this was ridiculous!

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68. At 1:13pm on 21 May 2009, Fauconnier wrote:
Are England playing Italy at Turin again?

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69. At 1:13pm on 21 May 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
Which way to the Underground?

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70. At 1:14pm on 21 May 2009, RMutt-Urinal wrote:
Mandy had to accept that unless she showed a bit of leg she was never going to get a lift.

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71. At 1:14pm on 21 May 2009, Woundedpride wrote:
But originality was not the strongest trait in the family...

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72. At 1:14pm on 21 May 2009, Fauconnier wrote:
Joanna Lumley also insisted on a Mini for every Gurkha

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73. At 1:15pm on 21 May 2009, rustbucketjohnson wrote:
This years rally broke all records for spectator attendance.

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74. At 1:16pm on 21 May 2009, MrSnoozy wrote:
MOD cuts meant the Red Arrows had to practice at a slower pace and a much lower altitude; they kept the runway as a reminder though...

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75. At 1:16pm on 21 May 2009, Fauconnier wrote:
But our MP insists he keeps ducks in them

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76. At 1:16pm on 21 May 2009, rustbucketjohnson wrote:
Orange mini had been sent to the back of the line for being too loud.

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77. At 1:17pm on 21 May 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
How many minis does it take to change a warden?

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78. At 1:18pm on 21 May 2009, rustbucketjohnson wrote:
And people thought removing road markings would cause chaos.

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79. At 1:18pm on 21 May 2009, Woundedpride wrote:
Gerald, owner of "Mini Bumpers 'R' Us", smiled as he hit the brakes...

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80. At 1:19pm on 21 May 2009, MrSnoozy wrote:
The conveyor belt on the new series of the Generation Game was on a far grander scale than before, yet still got slated for it's lack of difficulty!

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81. At 1:19pm on 21 May 2009, rogueslr wrote:
Remember, we're unique, just like everyone else.

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82. At 1:20pm on 21 May 2009, nick_fowler wrote:
The French film industry arranges to chauffeur visiting stars around the festival in tin Cannes

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83. At 1:23pm on 21 May 2009, kalaika wrote:
"What do you mean you're going to be late? Sally Traffic has only reported a mini queue to join the M25."

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84. At 1:28pm on 21 May 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
The suspect was last seen driving a blue mini. Why do you ask?

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85. At 1:30pm on 21 May 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
No, no, no. It was supposed to be fifty clowns in ONE mini.

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86. At 1:32pm on 21 May 2009, nick_fowler wrote:
British Leyland announce a joint venture with Volkswagen - the Mini Golf

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87. At 1:36pm on 21 May 2009, j-o-n-a-t-h-a-n wrote:
Yippee Kay Yay, Sir Alec

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88. At 1:38pm on 21 May 2009, fbxiii wrote:
My other car is a Porsche.

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89. At 1:38pm on 21 May 2009, j-o-n-a-t-h-a-n wrote:
Are we nearly there yet?

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90. At 1:39pm on 21 May 2009, fbxiii wrote:
Illegal Immigrants will try anything to get through customs.

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91. At 1:42pm on 21 May 2009, Fi-Glos wrote:
On the day that the voice of Mickey Mouse died, a Mini procession seemed strangely apt...

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92. At 1:42pm on 21 May 2009, fbxiii wrote:
The self preservation society take a day out to Clacton on sea.

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93. At 1:43pm on 21 May 2009, MarkGrout wrote:
The 'Self-Preservation Society' reunion was a roaring success...

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94. At 1:44pm on 21 May 2009, j-o-n-a-t-h-a-n wrote:
....and in the constructors championship, BMC still lead Ferrari, McLaren, and Renault for longevity...

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95. At 1:45pm on 21 May 2009, funkyhorn wrote:
Replacement for the second home allowance?

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96. At 1:45pm on 21 May 2009, j-o-n-a-t-h-a-n wrote:
Little Britain

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97. At 1:46pm on 21 May 2009, nick_fowler wrote:
The steering on the Mini was so imprecise, not one of them actually hit the traffic warden

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98. At 1:48pm on 21 May 2009, nick_fowler wrote:
There are long queues at Dover, after somebody discovers a huge cache of Mini sparea in Calais

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99. At 1:51pm on 21 May 2009, janew1 wrote:
A New "Mini Adventure" begins...

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100. At 1:51pm on 21 May 2009, nick_fowler wrote:
All of the mothers driving that day had a low salary, in fact the Mini-mum wage

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101. At 1:52pm on 21 May 2009, nick_fowler wrote:
Does anybody feel this identity parade may be rigged?

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102. At 1:53pm on 21 May 2009, archstinker wrote:

Mr Bridger was really determined this time

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103. At 1:54pm on 21 May 2009, robmoo wrote:
The lollipop lady suddenly realised that without her lollipop, today was going to be a struggle.

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104. At 1:57pm on 21 May 2009, honesthulley wrote:
Mini celebrate Anniversary with Bumper turnout."

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105. At 1:58pm on 21 May 2009, littlemissfairywings wrote:
Mini, mini, mini, mini, mini, mini, mini, mini, mini, mini, mini, mini, mini, mini!!! I finally beat my friend Clare at the mini spotting game!!!

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106. At 1:59pm on 21 May 2009, alykat730 wrote:
Minnie Driver was starting to suspect that she'd become a victim of identity theft.

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107. At 1:59pm on 21 May 2009, snoozoff wrote:
mini, mini, mini mini mini miniminiminiminiminiminiminiminimini

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108. At 2:00pm on 21 May 2009, jpmurf wrote:
Margaret didn't see any stand out candidates in the queue for the Italian Job II auditions.

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109. At 2:01pm on 21 May 2009, ValerieGanne wrote:
Flagging down a minicab when you're a traffic warden is not easy ...

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110. At 2:01pm on 21 May 2009, funkyhorn wrote:
Apple unveil their latest MP3 player...

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111. At 2:02pm on 21 May 2009, jpmurf wrote:
Can a few of you just sod off - I'm trying to get a picture for '10 Things' here!

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112. At 2:02pm on 21 May 2009, snoozoff wrote:
which one should i get, meeny mini mo......

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113. At 2:03pm on 21 May 2009, jpmurf wrote:
When I grow up I want to be a Maxi

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114. At 2:03pm on 21 May 2009, ValerieGanne wrote:
It's the London to Brighton old crocodiles' race

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115. At 2:04pm on 21 May 2009, omegabtbbba wrote:
55-56-57-58 (yaaaawn) where was I? Damn! 1-2-3-4

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116. At 2:06pm on 21 May 2009, ValerieGanne wrote:
Enraged Mini drivers lie in wait outside the BBC studios for Jeremy Clarkson

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117. At 2:07pm on 21 May 2009, ValerieGanne wrote:
Furious British holidaymakers park their Minis on German towels

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118. At 2:10pm on 21 May 2009, ValerieGanne wrote:
This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the House Rules.
119. At 2:10pm on 21 May 2009, Dundeen wrote:
Wendy thought she was on to a winner when she started at the Car Wash and was told " We will start you off with the smaller cars"

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120. At 2:11pm on 21 May 2009, supermatt6000 wrote:
So, after the jelly babies have attacked, the jelly cars will engage in handling-to-handling combat.

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121. At 2:11pm on 21 May 2009, ValerieGanne wrote:
Only a few drivers had been coerced into buying a flag, but all the others had ended up buying "The Big Issue"

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122. At 2:12pm on 21 May 2009, supermatt6000 wrote:
The traffic warden was relieved that she was only facing the backfiring squad.

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123. At 2:12pm on 21 May 2009, Dundeen wrote:
With Mass Redundancies announced at Willy Wonka's...the Oompah Loompahs all left the factory severely disgruntled !

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124. At 2:12pm on 21 May 2009, Magnum Carter wrote:
When it stopped becoming a mini adventure.

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125. At 2:13pm on 21 May 2009, supermatt6000 wrote:
"Let's see him clean all of these out of his moat!"

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126. At 2:13pm on 21 May 2009, funkyhorn wrote:
Wardrobe, I mean warden malfunction.

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127. At 2:13pm on 21 May 2009, ValerieGanne wrote:
Calling it a baby car is inaccurate, as it's far too small to make one in it

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128. At 2:16pm on 21 May 2009, Magnum Carter wrote:
Mini-School

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129. At 2:16pm on 21 May 2009, PendragonF wrote:
Suddenly, a cat ran into the road, and all that was left was one long stretch Mini

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130. At 2:16pm on 21 May 2009, supermatt6000 wrote:
Michael, michael! Your horn is a little sharp. See to it please. Now, everyone from the top. Can I have an A?...

Happy Birthday to you...

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131. At 2:16pm on 21 May 2009, georgehh wrote:
As rumours of financial difficulties spread, customers started queueing up to withdraw their gold from the Self-Preservation Society

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132. At 2:17pm on 21 May 2009, youngWillz wrote:
At the drive-thru, the world record attempt was on to see how many obese families you could fit in a mini...

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133. At 2:17pm on 21 May 2009, tom_w_webb wrote:
14 things we didn't know last week...

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134. At 2:18pm on 21 May 2009, PendragonF wrote:
The one at the front is the Prime Mini-Steer

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135. At 2:18pm on 21 May 2009, youngWillz wrote:
Yorkshire Traffic Controller: "Eee, I remember 50 years ago when this were all charabancs..."

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136. At 2:18pm on 21 May 2009, funkyhorn wrote:
Mum, did you order anything on the internet recently?

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137. At 2:19pm on 21 May 2009, bmerren wrote:
Although it displeased Ferrari - the Formua 1 budget cap was seen by others as an opportunity!

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138. At 2:21pm on 21 May 2009, bmerren wrote:
"He'll be the one in the mini" the blind date agency told her!

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139. At 2:23pm on 21 May 2009, akaTomflash wrote:
The pièce de résistance of Obamas new few efficiency plan arrives in Washington.

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140. At 2:24pm on 21 May 2009, akaTomflash wrote:
The pièce de résistance of Obama's new few efficiency plan arrives in Washington.

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141. At 2:26pm on 21 May 2009, Magnum Carter wrote:
Heathrow unveils its new luggage carts after travellers complain about the length of T5's concourse.

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142. At 2:27pm on 21 May 2009, Magnum Carter wrote:
Mini-milking it

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143. At 2:27pm on 21 May 2009, bmerren wrote:
Satellite TV over-egged the cake as usual in re-making the Generation Game.

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144. At 2:28pm on 21 May 2009, funkyhorn wrote:
Fleet Street!

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145. At 2:30pm on 21 May 2009, Rob Falconer wrote:
After yet another day with no receipts, Gloria began to wonder whether the car park barrier ought to be lowered a little

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146. At 2:31pm on 21 May 2009, Rob Falconer wrote:
Yeah, the lemming cliff's over there

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147. At 2:32pm on 21 May 2009, Magnum Carter wrote:
"sorry, can't come through here. DMZ: De-Mini-tiarised Zone."

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148. At 2:33pm on 21 May 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
Gulliver's Matchbox set was a fabulous surprise

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149. At 2:33pm on 21 May 2009, youngWillz wrote:
Q: Spot the Difference?

A: The third one up has its windscreen wipers round the wrong way.

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150. At 2:36pm on 21 May 2009, youngWillz wrote:
With her new job and hi-vis jacket, Kylie Minogue felt important at last.
And tall.

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151. At 2:37pm on 21 May 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
Move 'em on
Head 'em up
Head 'em up
Move' em up
Move 'em on
Head 'em up
Rawhide!

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152. At 2:37pm on 21 May 2009, Spockter wrote:
I spy with my little eye something beginning with M

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153. At 2:39pm on 21 May 2009, Magnum Carter wrote:
BMW Recruitment Fair

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154. At 2:40pm on 21 May 2009, potkettle wrote:
The "Spot the Wolesey" competion proved too difficult for some

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155. At 2:40pm on 21 May 2009, youngWillz wrote:
Irate Wife "I just don't believe it! All the other girls have come to the party in the SAME CAR as me! Let's go..."

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156. At 2:41pm on 21 May 2009, peter68 wrote:
We're all individuals!

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157. At 2:41pm on 21 May 2009, Shedsey wrote:
Welcome to the new Mini M6 toll route.

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158. At 2:43pm on 21 May 2009, peterstagg wrote:
Bob was very popular, people follwed him everywhere. He was also the only person who remembered to bring the GPS

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159. At 2:44pm on 21 May 2009, peter68 wrote:
Hazel Blears, Ronnie Corbett and The Diddy Men all feature in 'The Italian Job' remake

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160. At 2:45pm on 21 May 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
Gridlock in Legoland

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161. At 2:46pm on 21 May 2009, peter68 wrote:
The new 'lemming' petrol infusion for the Mini was tested near Beachy Head today

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162. At 2:46pm on 21 May 2009, grazvalentine wrote:
You wait hours for a minibus and then...

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163. At 2:47pm on 21 May 2009, peter68 wrote:
'Where's the blasted bus when you want it' thought 7ft tall, Sally

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164. At 2:49pm on 21 May 2009, peter68 wrote:
Anyone for Mini-marbles?

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165. At 2:49pm on 21 May 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
This Wheel's on Fire!
So is mine!
And mine...

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166. At 2:50pm on 21 May 2009, i_m_weasel wrote:
Miss Mackintosh monitors Mini miscellany

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167. At 2:51pm on 21 May 2009, youngWillz wrote:
The only two things working after 50 years in Northamptonshire post credit crunch

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168. At 2:51pm on 21 May 2009, penny-farthing wrote:
Order turned to chaos when a Fiat tried to sneak in.

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169. At 2:53pm on 21 May 2009, youngWillz wrote:
Hotel flaunts the fact it has no minibar

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170. At 2:54pm on 21 May 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
Bank holiday rush in Oxford

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171. At 3:00pm on 21 May 2009, Fi-Glos wrote:
Brawn GP demonstrate that Jenson can combine being on poll and on budget for the 2010 season...

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172. At 3:00pm on 21 May 2009, grazvalentine wrote:
Morris Line Dancing

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173. At 3:02pm on 21 May 2009, MrSnoozy wrote:
Despite their newer cousins being German, the real Minis knew how to queue properly.

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174. At 3:02pm on 21 May 2009, MediaCat wrote:
Cybertron's Autobot Invasion Fleet Surrenders!

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175. At 3:08pm on 21 May 2009, peterstagg wrote:
NASA's order for an Apollo Lunar Rover finally rolls of the UK production line

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176. At 3:11pm on 21 May 2009, nightporter_ wrote:
minipede !

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177. At 3:14pm on 21 May 2009, nightporter_ wrote:
New stroboscopic speed camera a big success.

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178. At 3:14pm on 21 May 2009, Rob Falconer wrote:
It was years since Gerald had last played Space Invaders

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179. At 3:15pm on 21 May 2009, peterstagg wrote:
A mini safari

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180. At 3:17pm on 21 May 2009, Rob Falconer wrote:
Jenga was much more fun played with Minis

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181. At 3:23pm on 21 May 2009, patio-phalangist wrote:
My car is named ''Spartacus''!
No, MY car's name is ''Spartacus...''

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182. At 3:23pm on 21 May 2009, clare_555 wrote:
The local villager saw 1st hand the draw backs of the sat nav included free with your mini

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183. At 3:24pm on 21 May 2009, Rob Falconer wrote:
Well, Joanna Lumley asked us to drive around aimlessly, so naturally we're doing what she said

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184. At 3:26pm on 21 May 2009, funkyhorn wrote:
Exam panic
Can car making ever be as good as honest hard graft?

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185. At 3:30pm on 21 May 2009, clare_555 wrote:
judging the best mini competition proved no small task

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186. At 3:30pm on 21 May 2009, patio-phalangist wrote:
On-looker stands aghast as she realises the Commons Fees Office has let another MP's mistaken claim (but within the rules) slip by.

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187. At 3:34pm on 21 May 2009, NorfolkOnce wrote:
Tango four-seven this is Oscar nine-two. You know you said those suspects were making their getaway in a Mini, well..

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188. At 3:35pm on 21 May 2009, *hutchy-12345 wrote:
The Charlie Croker memorial rally tries to out-do Colin Mcrae

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189. At 3:35pm on 21 May 2009, carefreeeeeeee wrote:
Results of the F1 £40m pound budget cap have an immediate effect.

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190. At 3:37pm on 21 May 2009, kipperonthefloor-Whovian, Fool, God, Pub LandLord, Terranic Transport Minister, Thief, Dragon, Eccentric Scientist, Temporal Investigator. wrote:
when universal made an announcemaent that they were going to recast Mr Bean for the next movie they didn't expect such a huge repliy

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191. At 3:38pm on 21 May 2009, SteeleHawker wrote:
Gloria had thought she'd booked for 'An Evening with Jimmy Carr'

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192. At 3:41pm on 21 May 2009, clare_555 wrote:
Sally's new medication had her seeing mini-million doubles

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193. At 3:41pm on 21 May 2009, SteeleHawker wrote:
Snow White checked that there was a car each for Grumpy and Co., plus a spare each in case of breakdown

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194. At 3:42pm on 21 May 2009, axelyopi wrote:
Mayday Mini mayhem, marks millionth marque milestone.

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195. At 3:42pm on 21 May 2009, SteeleHawker wrote:
An outbreak of dwarfism attacks Longbridge

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196. At 3:42pm on 21 May 2009, clare_555 wrote:
She was lost in the desert, and a mini mirage raced thru her minds eye....

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197. At 3:43pm on 21 May 2009, Jethromope wrote:
So, seventy-eight minis equals one aircraft carrier equals three Nelson's columns equals.........

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198. At 3:44pm on 21 May 2009, SteeleHawker wrote:
The new Mercedes-Benz limousine was perfect in every way ... except that the manufacturer had forgotten to test it in wet weather

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199. At 3:45pm on 21 May 2009, MediaCat wrote:
Ocean's 14
The Italian Job

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200. At 3:47pm on 21 May 2009, NoriBMail wrote:
The Bank of England looks to Europe for the next round of quantitative easing...

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201. At 3:56pm on 21 May 2009, carefreeeeeeee wrote:
Credit crunch affects Royal cavalcade

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202. At 3:56pm on 21 May 2009, funkyhorn wrote:
Top gear fans go slow protest about Chris Lewis's prison sentence.

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203. At 3:56pm on 21 May 2009, carilocks wrote:
hmmmm.. where'd i park my fiat?...

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204. At 4:01pm on 21 May 2009, Magnum Carter wrote:
It soon became apparent to Michelle that some of the line were not there for Mark Wahlberg's autograph...

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205. At 4:05pm on 21 May 2009, fbxiii wrote:
Oh my god!!! Where has the Austin factory gone? Oh, to the dogs, like the rest of northfield.

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206. At 4:05pm on 21 May 2009, iansessford wrote:
"GO!GO!GO!.And this years`Minico`Grand Prix gets under way"

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207. At 4:06pm on 21 May 2009, Didge009 wrote:
The BBC deny standards are falling as their '10 Things' picture is published.

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208. At 4:08pm on 21 May 2009, clare_555 wrote:
The Dr declared a public emergency as swine flu was replaced by mini flu

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209. At 4:13pm on 21 May 2009, GuitarKate wrote:
The cars in the first race of the 2010 Formula 1 season go round on their parade lap.

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210. At 4:16pm on 21 May 2009, nightporter_ wrote:
Jay Kay's latest purchase arrives.

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211. At 4:17pm on 21 May 2009, iansessford wrote:
"You see what happens when you use a woman to organize the parking!.I told you we should have used the `Mini Club-Man`."

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212. At 4:20pm on 21 May 2009, Arsene about wrote:
well, they do say 'mini hands make light work'

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213. At 4:27pm on 21 May 2009, Stellsie wrote:
as the new drive-through supermarket opened, the customers wondered why they couldn't open afew more tills

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214. At 4:27pm on 21 May 2009, rogueslr wrote:
Things had got out of hand, now it was definitely beyond a Moke!

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215. At 4:30pm on 21 May 2009, globsquirtle wrote:
Nobody saw anything suspicious about the MP for Bingleswell claiming 500 cars on expenses.

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216. At 4:33pm on 21 May 2009, karls97 wrote:
"Surely they haven't all broken down?"

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217. At 4:36pm on 21 May 2009, eattherich wrote:
Long-chain mini-queue-le

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218. At 4:36pm on 21 May 2009, Arsene about wrote:
anyone up for a game of mini golf?

who's driving off first?

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219. At 4:42pm on 21 May 2009, SteeleHawker wrote:
Of course Jeremy Clarkson hates these cars - he hates travellers, in fact, anybody who lives in a caravan

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220. At 4:50pm on 21 May 2009, j-o-n-a-t-h-a-n wrote:
Geoff and Margaret could never quite manage to fit the weekly shop in the boot of their new Mini. Luckily the local Mini Club were a helpful bunch.

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221. At 4:53pm on 21 May 2009, Nouman_a wrote:
The New Italian Job Ride.

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222. At 4:57pm on 21 May 2009, SimonRooke wrote:
Knock, Knock
Who's there?
No, that's the noise the engine's making!

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223. At 5:05pm on 21 May 2009, alpha-kat wrote:
Just imagine what you receive in your party bag!

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224. At 5:07pm on 21 May 2009, SteeleHawker wrote:
Villagers stage a protest by following the Google Street camera car

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225. At 5:07pm on 21 May 2009, Izanagi wrote:
Guinness book official suspects foul play may be involved in the latest attempt at the "Most cars jumped" record.

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226. At 5:13pm on 21 May 2009, SimonRooke wrote:
Good news for T Rex fans, we've got Marc's car fixed.

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227. At 5:18pm on 21 May 2009, SimonRooke wrote:
How many old Minis do you have to examine before you can find an original sub-frame? 12? 13? 14....

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228. At 5:27pm on 21 May 2009, Steffanic wrote:
"And here we see the epic migration of The Mini, being led by the Alpha Mini. It's bright red colour warns off The Clarkson, while the two flags on each side help keep the herd in line."

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229. At 5:52pm on 21 May 2009, Vicky S wrote:
"Now imagine another two lanes just the same. Now THAT's the M25."

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230. At 5:53pm on 21 May 2009, Vicky S wrote:
If Wildebeest Made TV Programmes: number 24 The Bank holiday

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231. At 5:56pm on 21 May 2009, Vicky S wrote:
For the Apprentice Candidates the Car Washing Task had become the stuff of nightmares.

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232. At 5:58pm on 21 May 2009, Vicky S wrote:
Noel Edmonds reveals his new TV show Wheel or no Wheel.

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233. At 5:59pm on 21 May 2009, sarahtrieste wrote:
"Don't look now, but I think we're being followed."

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234. At 6:07pm on 21 May 2009, drag_n_drop wrote:
Fossilised fuel users.

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235. At 6:07pm on 21 May 2009, drag_n_drop wrote:
Tin pan Alley.

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236. At 6:08pm on 21 May 2009, drag_n_drop wrote:
Mini Can-can line.

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237. At 6:29pm on 21 May 2009, Vicky S wrote:
OK, the minis are ready. Now all we need are the elephants.

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238. At 6:31pm on 21 May 2009, Vicky S wrote:
The Auditions begin for Strictly Cone Dancing.

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239. At 6:33pm on 21 May 2009, Vicky S wrote:
Jemima's Mini collection was widely admired for its pristine condition.

If only she had had the foresight to keep the original boxes.

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240. At 6:36pm on 21 May 2009, Jwutzke wrote:
Safety Officer Swanson could only look on helplessly as the new Lemming Minis trundled towards the cliffs.

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241. At 6:45pm on 21 May 2009, Dodie_James wrote:
"Darling?"
"Yes?"
"Do your friends in the club have to come on our honeymoon?"

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242. At 6:51pm on 21 May 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
Ever feel like you're being followed?

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243. At 6:56pm on 21 May 2009, Kitkat_Katy wrote:
The orange VW Beetle thought he could gatecrash the party.

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244. At 6:57pm on 21 May 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
And here we see the Classic Mini on its Spring migration northward.

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245. At 6:59pm on 21 May 2009, yapparister wrote:
Out of nowhere Nerys hits upon the idea of introducing a mini-roundabout to ease congestion.

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246. At 7:00pm on 21 May 2009, Kitkat_Katy wrote:
The RAC lady could hardly believe her luck. A fleet of broken down Minis was going to get her a huge commission this month!

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247. At 7:01pm on 21 May 2009, penny-farthing wrote:
.......and you can even fit a small quantity of kudos into one!

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248. At 7:03pm on 21 May 2009, Dodie_James wrote:
Hang on, I think we passed that car park attendant half an hour ago. Good god, were never going to get out of this supermarket..

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249. At 7:11pm on 21 May 2009, nerdsunited wrote:
At the current rate of disclosure for MPs' expenses, we are going to need a lot more minis for the movie: The Parliament Job

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250. At 7:14pm on 21 May 2009, Marshfoot wrote:
2000001
2000002
2000003
2000004
2000005
2000073
2002674
1973686
1973???

?37??73

Oh !**! it. I think I just lost count.

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251. At 7:36pm on 21 May 2009, penny-farthing wrote:
This picture clearly illustrates the linear decline of the British automobile industry.

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252. At 7:39pm on 21 May 2009, Dodie_James wrote:
Yes, but they can still nip out to the shops when they want said a MOD spokesman..

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253. At 7:40pm on 21 May 2009, mikehaz90 wrote:
where's that reliant robin gone?

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254. At 7:47pm on 21 May 2009, nick_fowler wrote:
Well, the Mini's a great car, Mr. Issigonis, but that name's gonna have to be changed

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255. At 7:54pm on 21 May 2009, Dodie_James wrote:
"Yes, but they can still nip out to the shops when they want", said an MOD spokesman..

with punctuation and grammar..

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256. At 8:03pm on 21 May 2009, eattherich wrote:
Disaster strikes at the Mini Dominoes record attempt as one of the team accidently leans against the starter car during a tea break.

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257. At 8:06pm on 21 May 2009, eattherich wrote:
Poetic automotive irony as the line of classic Minis stretches around the block, the line of classic Maxis numbers just two.

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258. At 8:32pm on 21 May 2009, nick_fowler wrote:
Oh no, we're the Mini Preservation Society

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259. At 8:34pm on 21 May 2009, nick_fowler wrote:
That's the great thing about preserved classic cars, thought elderly Mabel Wolstenholme as she crossed the busy road, they don't dare hit anybody

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260. At 8:34pm on 21 May 2009, AndrewJSavage wrote:
George rembered why he shouldn't travel on the M25

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261. At 8:45pm on 21 May 2009, penny-farthing wrote:
In an unforeseen circumstance,the organizers of the London to Brighton Mini road race had to abandon the event due to the entrants actually stretching from... London to Brighton.

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262. At 8:58pm on 21 May 2009, Hobbitmorley wrote:
This is where much of Britain's youth was started

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263. At 9:00pm on 21 May 2009, Hobbitmorley wrote:
British Baby Boomer Passion-Wagon Parade

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264. At 9:13pm on 21 May 2009, nick_fowler wrote:
What do you mean, this car park is very long and narrow? It's the M25!

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265. At 9:15pm on 21 May 2009, nick_fowler wrote:
These seven drivers all bought the new Mini-shaped caravan

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266. At 9:20pm on 21 May 2009, redalfa147 wrote:
MM member of staff confirms failed attempt for the 'Ten Things' photo.

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267. At 9:22pm on 21 May 2009, redalfa147 wrote:
Don't look now, Doris, but I think we're being followed.

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268. At 9:23pm on 21 May 2009, redalfa147 wrote:
Unfortunately, the fluorescent jacket rally was less popular.

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269. At 9:28pm on 21 May 2009, theking847 wrote:
What the von Trapp family did after crossing the alps

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270. At 9:33pm on 21 May 2009, ARoseByAnyOther wrote:
"Meet me at the rally", he'd said, "I'll be the one in the classic Mini waving a flag."

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271. At 9:37pm on 21 May 2009, ARoseByAnyOther wrote:
"Your mission, should you choose to accept it, Shiela, is to pick which Mini Stig is driving."

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272. At 9:39pm on 21 May 2009, rogueslr wrote:
You know why they put those lines on her jacket? To stop people parking on her chest.

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273. At 9:42pm on 21 May 2009, archyogi wrote:
Charlie Croker couldn't help thinking that the size of his latest crew would hinder efforts for a quick getaway.

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274. At 9:46pm on 21 May 2009, archyogi wrote:
Outside the Palace of Westminster, the queue of MPs wanting to sign up for the vacant Speaker's post was lengthening by the hour.

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275. At 9:48pm on 21 May 2009, redalfa147 wrote:
Only the British would celebrate something by queuing!

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276. At 9:50pm on 21 May 2009, redalfa147 wrote:
The 'Tractor-mini' refused to let cars over-take it.

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277. At 9:51pm on 21 May 2009, archyogi wrote:
The F1 budget cap takes its toll.

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278. At 9:54pm on 21 May 2009, redalfa147 wrote:
Did you switch the iron off?

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279. At 9:54pm on 21 May 2009, archyogi wrote:
The steward couldn't help thinking that applicants, queuing to take their British Citizenship test, were trying a little too hard.

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280. At 9:59pm on 21 May 2009, redalfa147 wrote:
Ooooohhhhh, you meant going away with a few clothes was mini-MALLY!

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281. At 10:00pm on 21 May 2009, archyogi wrote:
Archetypal Brit: "I'm queuing; I'm in a Mini; all I need to do now is strike up a conversation with that steward over there about what lovely weather we're having".

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282. At 10:01pm on 21 May 2009, archyogi wrote:
Steward: "I know I'm wearing white shoes with a black outfit, guys, but couldn't one of you give me a lift?"

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283. At 10:10pm on 21 May 2009, archyogi wrote:
Barack Obama's presidential convoy takes on a friendlier face.

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284. At 10:41pm on 21 May 2009, blackbirduk wrote:
Police are consider relaxing their rules on only purchasing British built card for English forces

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285. At 10:50pm on 21 May 2009, polcirkel wrote:
Todays Mini quiz:

How many wheels does a minipede have?

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286. At 11:14pm on 21 May 2009, phainein wrote:
"It ain't big, and it ain't clever!"

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287. At 11:20pm on 21 May 2009, Arsene about wrote:
what's this i hear about a government scheme to trade in your old car?

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288. At 11:29pm on 21 May 2009, MediaCat wrote:
Thinking THE Minnie Driver was touring the country, Helen brought along her autograph book.

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289. At 11:55pm on 21 May 2009, Speedingmal wrote:
Dear Jim,
Please can you fix it for my Mini to have wiper blades that lean the same way as all the other Minis.
Kind regards
Crimson Mini third in queue aged 30

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290. At 11:55pm on 21 May 2009, FrankGrimesJnr wrote:
"Over there - an empty space..."
"Darn, it's a mini!!"

"How about that one...? "
Nope...another mini."

"Just here?"
"...mini!"

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291. At 11:56pm on 21 May 2009, TimemeddlerX wrote:
The new Italian Job movie has a bigger budget

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292. At 00:13am on 22 May 2009, GMcGlinn wrote:
Even the famous Red Arrows feel the pinch.

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293. At 00:17am on 22 May 2009, FrankGrimesJnr wrote:
"Did you know...

if you parked every mini ever made end-to-end...
it would look something like this.

Not a lot of people know that."

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294. At 00:30am on 22 May 2009, UnderlingX wrote:
The day Charlie Croker and company got a little bit too greedy.

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295. At 00:31am on 22 May 2009, UnderlingX wrote:
And here are the only original series minis not destroyed by Jeremy Clarkson and the rest of the Top Gear team.

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296. At 00:36am on 22 May 2009, adamking89 wrote:
We are going to need a bigger coach lads

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297. At 00:39am on 22 May 2009, FrankGrimesJnr wrote:
"I've no idea where we are, mate - I thought the guy in front knew the way..."

"Me too!"

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298. At 01:51am on 22 May 2009, ARoseByAnyOther wrote:
Travelling with enough spare parts was an essential part of classic mini ownership.

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299. At 01:55am on 22 May 2009, Minty_81 wrote:
"See these bloody caravaners, Maureen, they ruin every bank holiday. I wish they'd get a life!"

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300. At 02:35am on 22 May 2009, sarahtrieste wrote:
What do you mean she refuses to walk all the way to Brighton waving a flag in front?

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301. At 02:50am on 22 May 2009, frigorifico wrote:
John and the others regretted buying their cars from IKEA.

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302. At 02:52am on 22 May 2009, littleDickie wrote:
"Bigger people, smaller cars...go figure!"

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303. At 02:56am on 22 May 2009, littleDickie wrote:
"OI, You there, Number eight, this is number seven, quit pushin' will ya!"

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304. At 02:59am on 22 May 2009, littleDickie wrote:
"How many Mini's would it take to displace a Routemaster?"

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305. At 03:09am on 22 May 2009, rogue81 wrote:
"The minis make their annual trip up to motorway for the breeding season"

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306. At 07:42am on 22 May 2009, LaurenceLane wrote:
What's the correct collective noun for a group of old Minis? A rust of Minis?

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307. At 07:55am on 22 May 2009, jtotheglo wrote:
The Italian Job goes global.

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308. At 07:56am on 22 May 2009, GreatUncleBulgariaJr wrote:
At the Frankfurt Motor Show BMW demonstrates that it has finally got the concept of "The Mini" correct.

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309. At 07:58am on 22 May 2009, jtotheglo wrote:
"Who invited the Skoda?"

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310. At 08:02am on 22 May 2009, GreatUncleBulgariaJr wrote:
Well David, that's my "mobile duck house", that one's my "mobile chicken run", that's my "mobile rabbit hutch", that's my "mobile dog kennel", need I go on? Every one of them was purchased within the rules.

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311. At 08:05am on 22 May 2009, Northern_Simon wrote:
Cooper Conga

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312. At 08:07am on 22 May 2009, MeaganC wrote:
Sesquicentensizedoesn'tcountial!

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313. At 08:08am on 22 May 2009, GreatUncleBulgariaJr wrote:
Following the fiasco with the London bus at the Beijing closing ceremony, Boris had a truly insprational idea for the Olympic Torch relay at London 2012.

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314. At 08:09am on 22 May 2009, Northern_Simon wrote:
Strict parking control was always necessary at Snow White's family gatherings.

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315. At 08:14am on 22 May 2009, Merkofk wrote:
The antics roadshow

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316. At 08:25am on 22 May 2009, Donleavey wrote:
It was meant to cut costs, but the new budget indicators proved to be unreliable in practice.

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317. At 08:39am on 22 May 2009, Whitbylassie wrote:
He was very kind giving me a lift here this morning, but I seem to have left my purse behind ...

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318. At 08:45am on 22 May 2009, ManxDave57 wrote:
The Longbridge "Its a Knockout" team missed the point when they entered the mini marathon competition..

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319. At 08:46am on 22 May 2009, ManxDave57 wrote:
We should be able to overtake shortly Mabel; the cars in front are starting to flag..

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320. At 08:47am on 22 May 2009, xp132476 wrote:
MP's really overstepped the mark for expenses this time...

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321. At 08:47am on 22 May 2009, ManxDave57 wrote:
The "pop up" indicators in the early models were not a great success.

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322. At 08:56am on 22 May 2009, Vicky S wrote:
The magnetic properties of Minis had never been thoroughly tested before.

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323. At 08:59am on 22 May 2009, Vicky S wrote:
Excitement grew as entrants to the first Mini World Snooker Championship entered the Crucible

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324. At 09:05am on 22 May 2009, jarlaberg wrote:
"Cooper Load of This!"

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325. At 09:05am on 22 May 2009, generalhague wrote:
How many minis can you fit in an elephant?

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326. At 09:14am on 22 May 2009, generalhague wrote:
Thinking it was about motor racing, the Mini club queues for the remake of "The Houston 500".

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327. At 09:14am on 22 May 2009, GirlWeekday wrote:
'Oh' said Doris at a charity auction, 'I thought it read: "Mini mum" donation.'

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328. At 09:24am on 22 May 2009, FFMexpat wrote:
How many times had Linda told the official photographer that it was TEN things.....

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329. At 09:45am on 22 May 2009, Spockter wrote:
Asking Murray Walker to provide some commentary on the Italian Job DVD was a bit of a mistake...

"And THERE GOES a Mini"
"And THERE GOES a Mini"
"And THERE GOES a Mini"
"And THERE GOES a Golf...no, sorry, it's a Mini"
"And THERE GOES a Mini"

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330. At 09:49am on 22 May 2009, welovesoup wrote:
Everyone was in aggreement that these Mini-sterial expenses really were beyond the joke...

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331. At 09:53am on 22 May 2009, NileRed wrote:
"My other car's a Mini..."

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332. At 09:53am on 22 May 2009, Kudosless wrote:

Is that woman really a transverse-type ?

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333. At 09:54am on 22 May 2009, Kudosless wrote:

She looked on dismayed, at her neighbour's new Leylandii hedge

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334. At 09:56am on 22 May 2009, MJF_dodo wrote:
If this is the mini lane then how wide are the other lanes?

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335. At 09:57am on 22 May 2009, SeanieSmith wrote:
The original British Leyland sat nav had a few teething problems.

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336. At 09:57am on 22 May 2009, SundayParkGeorge wrote:
John Prescott was determined to get rid of the "Two Jags" nickname

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337. At 09:58am on 22 May 2009, Kudosless wrote:

In Rome, Manchester Utd scout surprised at how many Brits there are in Series A

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338. At 10:02am on 22 May 2009, nick_fowler wrote:
You know cats use their whiskers to adjudge the width of where they want to go? Well, some Mini drivers do the same with flags.

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339. At 10:04am on 22 May 2009, nick_fowler wrote:
Hey, what happened to that guy who was standing in the middle of the road holding two flags?

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340. At 10:06am on 22 May 2009, nick_fowler wrote:
"What colour's your car?"
Ninth driver : "Rust."

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341. At 10:08am on 22 May 2009, nick_fowler wrote:
The original design for George Lucas' R2D2 was a little different from that in the film

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342. At 10:08am on 22 May 2009, nick_fowler wrote:
Exterminate!

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343. At 10:11am on 22 May 2009, Rob Falconer wrote:
Owing to a design flaw, the Channel Tunnel was built only wide enough to accommodate certain size cars ...

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344. At 10:12am on 22 May 2009, darkmarker wrote:
New style pedalo unveiled for use when the lakes have all dried up.

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345. At 10:12am on 22 May 2009, Rob Falconer wrote:
The driver of the car transporter hit the brakes, and suddenly the whole road was full of Minis ...

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346. At 10:15am on 22 May 2009, darkmarker wrote:
Right after we've got the gold we hide in the mini convoy.

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347. At 10:15am on 22 May 2009, SundayParkGeorge wrote:
Max Mosley realised he hadn't fully thought through the implications of his Formula One rule changes.

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348. At 10:16am on 22 May 2009, darkmarker wrote:
Come on number 2 your out of line!

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349. At 10:16am on 22 May 2009, haggis1876 wrote:
"oy, just a 'mini'te. This is the ten items or less queue!"

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350. At 10:18am on 22 May 2009, SundayParkGeorge wrote:
The director was regretting holding open auditions for the new "Mini Adventure" adverts

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351. At 10:18am on 22 May 2009, Rob Falconer wrote:
Suddenly, the doors of the mother ship slid open, and a ramp descended, and then millions of little aliens appeared

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352. At 10:22am on 22 May 2009, darkmarker wrote:
Ah the British love a good queue. Although no-one was quite sure where it was going.

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353. At 10:24am on 22 May 2009, KieranOx wrote:
Alton Towers refute "boring" criticism of latest roller-coaster.

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354. At 10:25am on 22 May 2009, haggis1876 wrote:
This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the House Rules.
355. At 10:27am on 22 May 2009, SundayParkGeorge wrote:
The upgraded Hubble space telescope produces surprisingly clear images of the indigenous life form on Alpha Centauri

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356. At 10:30am on 22 May 2009, haggis1876 wrote:
BBC launch its new Cartune Network.

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357. At 10:33am on 22 May 2009, MUZLER wrote:
traffic reports say there's a big hold up.
But it looks like a mini traffic jam to me!

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358. At 10:34am on 22 May 2009, Rob Falconer wrote:
Mavis Goldthorpe's (left) campaign for a pedestrian crossing outside her home was met with derision by the local Mini-owners' club

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359. At 10:39am on 22 May 2009, j-o-n-a-t-h-a-n wrote:
Right everybody, straight on to Southampton, get the dry rot in the chassis repaired, the taxpayer can foot the bill, then back to Luton for the morning.

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360. At 10:40am on 22 May 2009, CairngormMcWomble wrote:
Every 5 years there was a rehearsal of Michael Caine's funeral arrangements.

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361. At 10:45am on 22 May 2009, j-o-n-a-t-h-a-n wrote:
Max wasn't entirely happy with the new Formula 1 rule changes, but the new track marshall's uniforms had a certain appeal.

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362. At 10:48am on 22 May 2009, haggis1876 wrote:
Made in Britain by robots...Quality control by Lynn.

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363. At 10:52am on 22 May 2009, SeanieSmith wrote:
Pothole brings rally to a abrupt end.

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364. At 10:52am on 22 May 2009, lavaboarder wrote:
A 10 mile tailback delays the start of the annual UK town planners conference

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365. At 10:54am on 22 May 2009, SeanieSmith wrote:
Pothole brings rally to an abrupt end.

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366. At 10:55am on 22 May 2009, SundayParkGeorge wrote:
Stay-at-home mothers rally to campaign for the MiniMum Wage...

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367. At 10:58am on 22 May 2009, lavaboarder wrote:
Now I know I have a mini but I just can't remember what colour it is

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368. At 11:01am on 22 May 2009, SeanieSmith wrote:
The fiercely contested British Mini Race ends in a queue.

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369. At 11:03am on 22 May 2009, jayhawk2000 wrote:
Emma cast her eyes over the long line of illegally-parked cars. No, not a single Pay-n-Display sticker in sight.

She flicked over to a fresh page in her pad, licked the nub of her pencil and walked up to the nearest offender as a flickering flame of triumph kindled in her breast.

Oh yes, for years to come, this was going to earn her many a free pint down at the traffic wardens' local.

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370. At 11:05am on 22 May 2009, virtualfang wrote:
The Tall Persons Club was beginning to regret the choice of budget vehicle hire

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371. At 11:05am on 22 May 2009, presto_west_end wrote:
A not so miniscule mini school.

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372. At 11:05am on 22 May 2009, yapparister wrote:
BMW were only too delighted to provide cats eyes for the monster truck raleigh

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373. At 11:06am on 22 May 2009, j-o-n-a-t-h-a-n wrote:

Monday, we'll count all the Mini's
Tuesday, the Trabant's
Wednesday, the Wolseley's
Thursday, the Triumph's
Friday, the Ford's
Saturday, the Skoda's
Sunday, is a day of rest, so we'll count all of the Renault's still running nicely.

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374. At 11:06am on 22 May 2009, SeanieSmith wrote:
The British Queuing Championship ends in a draw.

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375. At 11:06am on 22 May 2009, jellyba wrote:
Mix up with safety car at Monaco Grand Prix

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376. At 11:07am on 22 May 2009, justfor wrote:
"I despair. The advertised job was for small barrel makers!"

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377. At 11:07am on 22 May 2009, jellyba wrote:
Minis and Highway-tha

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378. At 11:08am on 22 May 2009, virtualfang wrote:
Radio Solents Roving Reporter Talia Slack, live at Thruxton doing a Mini pod cast

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379. At 11:08am on 22 May 2009, jellyba wrote:
work experience traffic warden

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380. At 11:09am on 22 May 2009, Dhanoalot wrote:
Even with her hi-viz jacket on, Emma found it difficult to hitch a lift on the M4.

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381. At 11:10am on 22 May 2009, jellyba wrote:
Italian job ID parade

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382. At 11:11am on 22 May 2009, jellyba wrote:
Human traffic cone proves effective

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383. At 11:13am on 22 May 2009, samanthalodge wrote:
Sample colours for next years BMW 5 series. Yes I can see half the UK sales force in a chocolate brown 5 series next year...not

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384. At 11:17am on 22 May 2009, strangegurl wrote:
Why did the girl NOT cross the road? Because of the mini invasion!

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385. At 11:18am on 22 May 2009, iansessford wrote:
Sharons first day at the `Drive thru` was going great until the guy in the red Mini said "fancy a burger love?".

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386. At 11:21am on 22 May 2009, j-o-n-a-t-h-a-n wrote:
Easyjet's new car park at Luton Airport 'Easypark' sure had plenty of space, but Dave felt somewhat nervous about the large set of wheels approaching from above.

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387. At 11:23am on 22 May 2009, SeanieSmith wrote:
"You can't beat the old mini - new cars all look the same to me."

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388. At 11:24am on 22 May 2009, SundayParkGeorge wrote:
Joanna Lumley was surprised at the uniformity of the Gurkha's choice of car as she inspected their tribute parade

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389. At 11:25am on 22 May 2009, crazymurdav wrote:
Sarah was kicked out of the car after joking to her husband "Don't worry, it's just a MINI tailback"

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390. At 11:26am on 22 May 2009, j-o-n-a-t-h-a-n wrote:
These roadworks on the M1 are just terrible, we've been queueing since 1963.

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391. At 11:27am on 22 May 2009, Tableturn wrote:
The Oompa Loopmas start their road trip.

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392. At 11:28am on 22 May 2009, Tableturn wrote:
British trains: rubbish.

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393. At 11:30am on 22 May 2009, j-o-n-a-t-h-a-n wrote:

Can I put a CD on Malcolm?
What's one of them?
OK, well can I plug my iPOD into the radio?
What's one of them?
MP3's?
What's that then?
I know, I spy with my little eye..

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394. At 11:32am on 22 May 2009, nadine7346 wrote:
They've changed the colours to red , BROWN, and blue to reflect the state of the economy.

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395. At 11:32am on 22 May 2009, rego77660 wrote:
No matter how long she waited, nobody would let her cross!

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396. At 11:35am on 22 May 2009, Rob Falconer wrote:
Dinky finally make a car almost big enough for a person to sit in

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397. At 11:36am on 22 May 2009, Rob Falconer wrote:
It must be a motoring icon, if only because it gives Jeremy Clarkson cramp

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398. At 11:37am on 22 May 2009, rego77660 wrote:
London grinds to a halt after MPs are asked to look at all mini expense claims

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399. At 11:37am on 22 May 2009, Rob Falconer wrote:
And, as long as he sits sideways, there's just space on the back seat for the resident mechanic

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400. At 11:38am on 22 May 2009, Kyuzosan wrote:
Sir Peter explained that the duck transporters were necessary for conveying the ducks between his constituency and his London apartment in the manner to which they had become accustomed.

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401. At 11:42am on 22 May 2009, nadine7346 wrote:
We're patenting it as an insomnia cure for kids who've never seen a sheep.

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402. At 11:42am on 22 May 2009, Rob Falconer wrote:
This was to have been the original design for the TARDIS, until they realised it was actually smaller on the inside than the outside

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403. At 11:44am on 22 May 2009, Rob Falconer wrote:
But it's a brilliant getaway car - the cops wouldn't be able to chase you for laughing

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404. At 11:46am on 22 May 2009, Rob Falconer wrote:
In the fiest car, George put on a CD of Wagner, and then everybody played 'Follow the lieder'

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405. At 11:47am on 22 May 2009, Rob Falconer wrote:
In the first car, George put on a CD of Wagner, and then everybody played 'Follow the lieder'

sorry for the typing error

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406. At 11:47am on 22 May 2009, Chopper32 wrote:
An MP having her peas individually delivered on expenses.

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407. At 11:48am on 22 May 2009, SeanieSmith wrote:
"I really do enjoy our holidays in the Mini, Dave...but we can't keep asking your mates to take the luggage."

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408. At 11:48am on 22 May 2009, Chopper32 wrote:
Cash-strapped Britons begin a mini-break on the Bank Holiday Weekend.

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409. At 11:49am on 22 May 2009, j-o-n-a-t-h-a-n wrote:
The little Mini's approached the Speed Hump with apprehension. It was going to be an arduous climb to the top, but Oh the joy of freewheeling down the other side.

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410. At 11:50am on 22 May 2009, Chopper32 wrote:
Amelia wishes she had taken her lollipop after all...

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411. At 11:50am on 22 May 2009, Kudosless wrote:

British Turin cars

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412. At 11:52am on 22 May 2009, MightyGiddyUpGal wrote:
And with an uplifted flag he led them out of England

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413. At 11:54am on 22 May 2009, iansessford wrote:
"We`re off to see the Wizard,the Wonderful Wizard of Oz,Tra lalalala ..,
Hey who`s giving Dorothy a lift?".

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414. At 11:54am on 22 May 2009, j-o-n-a-t-h-a-n wrote:
Every Friday, all around Britain, workers downed tools to think up witty entries for the Caption Competition. Anyone got any idea's as to why our automotive industry went into decline?

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415. At 11:57am on 22 May 2009, Cheese_fest wrote:
The lone mini spotter regretted the decision to bring the thinner of her two jotter pads.

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416. At 11:58am on 22 May 2009, Kudosless wrote:

Having bought one of Boris's bendy buses, they now had to ensure they didn't repeat the same mistake as last time ...

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417. At 11:59am on 22 May 2009, Kudosless wrote:

"Of course the steam roller will manage to jump them all ..."

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418. At 12:01pm on 22 May 2009, j-o-n-a-t-h-a-n wrote:
It was an old design, but still had plenty of mileage left in it. Julie was glad she'd shopped at M&S.

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419. At 12:01pm on 22 May 2009, fandango2 wrote:
"Errr, Steve...maybe we should just stop and ask someone for directions..."

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420. At 12:06pm on 22 May 2009, SundayParkGeorge wrote:
Darling, do you think it was a mistake to play your "Conga" CD so loudly with the windows open?

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421. At 12:08pm on 22 May 2009, akennedy448 wrote:
Italian police are hopeful that this innovative line-up will help to identify the so-called "Self-preservation Society."

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422. At 12:10pm on 22 May 2009, 475vhn wrote:
Now which one did I buy for the Ducks?

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423. At 12:13pm on 22 May 2009, akennedy448 wrote:
Due to the economic crisis, the British Olympic Association have been instructed to scale back the opening ceremony to a "Mini-parade." Unfortunately, they have taken the instruction literally.

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424. At 12:14pm on 22 May 2009, LaurenceLane wrote:
The fact they were still running after 50 years was a triumph over adversity, combined with a full socket set and a Haynes Workshop Manual.

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425. At 12:14pm on 22 May 2009, juanshow wrote:
The actress Minnie Driver threatens to sue her stationers regarding the typo error in her recent party invites.

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426. At 12:15pm on 22 May 2009, akennedy448 wrote:
"Honestly... they're not small cars... They're just far away..."
President Obama struggles to convince America about the benefits of a Mini.

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427. At 12:15pm on 22 May 2009, LaurenceLane wrote:
Don't look, she's the reactive moderator.

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428. At 12:20pm on 22 May 2009, akennedy448 wrote:
"Red...Blue...Brown...Brown...Brown... Oh my! Alert the Vatican, the Pope is in terrible danger!"
Robert Langdon has spotted a secret message so subtle even Da Vinci wouldn't call it a code.

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429. At 12:21pm on 22 May 2009, j-o-n-a-t-h-a-n wrote:
Civil Service cutbacks mean several driving tests will be conducted simultaneously by a single examiner. Mrs Wilson banged her clipboard on her knee and closed her eyes.

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430. At 12:22pm on 22 May 2009, juanshow wrote:
If you think this queue's bad you should see the queue of elephants waiting to get into them.

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431. At 12:22pm on 22 May 2009, MJF_dodo wrote:
Taxi for Blears, Smith, Viggers, Steen, Letwin, Duncan, Malik, Morley, Balls, Follet, Moran, Kelly, Hoon, Purnell, Huhne, Mackay, Gove......

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432. At 12:23pm on 22 May 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
Mini flash mob

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433. At 12:23pm on 22 May 2009, akennedy448 wrote:
The effect of the credit crunch are best seen by the dramatic change in the City of London at Rush Hour...

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434. At 12:23pm on 22 May 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
Let's motor - single file and at a safe speed of course

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435. At 12:26pm on 22 May 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
The revamped driver re-education classes were a big hit thanks to one small change

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436. At 12:26pm on 22 May 2009, akennedy448 wrote:
sickened at the behaviour of Mclaren, Lewis Hamilton reluctantly looks for a new F1 racing team..

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437. At 12:27pm on 22 May 2009, John_Sevenoaks wrote:
The British team demonstrate how they would spend their Formula 1 budget cap.

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438. At 12:28pm on 22 May 2009, j-o-n-a-t-h-a-n wrote:
Quantitative minimising.

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439. At 12:28pm on 22 May 2009, MJF_dodo wrote:
"I just can't decide which colour to buy?"

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440. At 12:28pm on 22 May 2009, CheshirePotatoHead wrote:
I wish they would have told me .... I could have put a miniskirt on

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441. At 12:29pm on 22 May 2009, John_Sevenoaks wrote:
The Hitchhiker's Guide to The Motorway.

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442. At 12:29pm on 22 May 2009, akennedy448 wrote:
following expenses scandal, MPs will now be paid in vintage cars...

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443. At 12:30pm on 22 May 2009, MJF_dodo wrote:
"The women's lane is over there, love"

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444. At 12:32pm on 22 May 2009, akennedy448 wrote:
North Korea's military parades were no longer as impressive...

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