Caption Competition

14:45 UK time, Friday, 8 May 2009

Winning entries in the now-returned Caption Competition.

The competition is now closed. Full rules can be seen here [PDF].

This week, German "plastinator" Gunther von Hagens poses with the jumping dancer exhibit in his Body Worlds touring exhibition.

Thanks to all who entered. The prize of a small amount of kudos to the following:

6. blogbuster
"Jackie Chan was regretting his choice of plastic surgeon for his tummy tuck."

5. jtotheglo
"Reasons to not play with piranhas #4."

4. Nick_Church
"The new range of novelty badges were seen as impractical at best."

3. JudgePix
"Fleshdance"

2. Rob Falconer
"Well, it's a bit excessive - for a first offence, it's normally just a horse's head in your bed."

1. Dodie_James
"Icarus: The Musical"

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Comments

1. At 12:40pm on 07 May 2009, ValerieGanne wrote:
Personally, I prefer the ice-cream he makes with Dazs

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2. At 12:44pm on 07 May 2009, ValerieGanne wrote:
Only Gunther had had a skinful

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3. At 12:45pm on 07 May 2009, ValerieGanne wrote:
Actors rehearse for "Posh - the Ballet"

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4. At 12:51pm on 07 May 2009, ValerieGanne wrote:
It always pays to check which country your packet of pork scratchings has come from

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5. At 12:59pm on 07 May 2009, rego77660 wrote:
Haven't I sinew somewhere before?

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6. At 1:29pm on 07 May 2009, Rob Falconer wrote:
Wayne Sleep takes extreme measures after accusations he is "too skinny"

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7. At 1:39pm on 07 May 2009, Rob Falconer wrote:
Magazine Monitor deals harshly with the man who stole the £2 bra coupon

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8. At 1:40pm on 07 May 2009, kipperonthefloor-Whovian, Fool, God, Pub LandLord, Terranic Transport Minister, Thief, Dragon, Eccentric Scientist, Temporal Investigator. wrote:
John had yet again taken Gunther's casual remark of "slipme some skin" too literally

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9. At 1:40pm on 07 May 2009, NorfolkOnce wrote:
Proof that, left untreated, halitosis can have devastating consequences..

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10. At 1:40pm on 07 May 2009, NorfolkOnce wrote:
You toucha ma girl..

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11. At 1:41pm on 07 May 2009, NorfolkOnce wrote:
It gets worse, apparently he was a leper..

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12. At 1:41pm on 07 May 2009, Rob Falconer wrote:
Fred here got mistaken for a cat in Scotland

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13. At 1:41pm on 07 May 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
Another Jenny Craig success story

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14. At 1:41pm on 07 May 2009, NorfolkOnce wrote:
The dangers of leaping out of the frying pan and into the fire..

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15. At 1:42pm on 07 May 2009, Rob Falconer wrote:
The inventor of the first microwave oven celebrates success - at last!

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16. At 1:42pm on 07 May 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
Of course I don't think you're anorexic

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17. At 1:42pm on 07 May 2009, NorfolkOnce wrote:
Lets see that new Boots wrinkle cream solve this then..

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18. At 1:42pm on 07 May 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
The Rubberband Man remix was proving a hit

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19. At 1:43pm on 07 May 2009, Rob Falconer wrote:
Well, it's a bit excessive - for a first offence, it's normally just a horse's head in your bed

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20. At 1:43pm on 07 May 2009, JudgePix wrote:
Fleshdance

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21. At 1:43pm on 07 May 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
Quick I need a rubber band to fix the whosey-whats-it

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22. At 1:44pm on 07 May 2009, Rob Falconer wrote:
So what did you say this Medusa dame looked like?

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23. At 1:44pm on 07 May 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
I'd be hopping mad if someone stole all my fleshy bits too

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24. At 1:44pm on 07 May 2009, John_Sevenoaks wrote:
"Never mind the side effects; this Swine Flu vaccine really works!"

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25. At 1:44pm on 07 May 2009, JudgePix wrote:
Ah,ah,ah,ah Flaying alive

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26. At 1:44pm on 07 May 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
Told you not to go too near the light

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27. At 1:45pm on 07 May 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
Tetanus - know the risks

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28. At 1:45pm on 07 May 2009, John_Sevenoaks wrote:
Another Size Zero model makes its debut.

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29. At 1:46pm on 07 May 2009, JudgePix wrote:
The Full Monty - the Director's cut

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30. At 1:47pm on 07 May 2009, John_Sevenoaks wrote:
"I know I said your could take a DNA sample - but not a pound of flesh!"

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31. At 1:49pm on 07 May 2009, SteeleHawker wrote:
I told you not to go sun-bathing before opening night - you know you always peel

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32. At 1:49pm on 07 May 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
I don't think much of this new age ventriloquism, Harry.

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33. At 1:49pm on 07 May 2009, John_Sevenoaks wrote:
"I'm distantly related to Kevin Bacon, you know."

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34. At 1:50pm on 07 May 2009, SteeleHawker wrote:
Yeah, well I'm always careful to jump off at the end of an escalator

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35. At 1:50pm on 07 May 2009, NorfolkOnce wrote:
I wonder what happened to that ref in the Chelsea match?

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36. At 1:50pm on 07 May 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
The Muppets in fitness bootcamp ahead of Michelle Obama's visit

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37. At 1:52pm on 07 May 2009, j-o-n-a-t-h-a-n wrote:
Margot Fonteyn and Rudolf Nureyev brought out of retirement for one last staging of Coppelia.

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38. At 1:53pm on 07 May 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
Piranhas was it?

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39. At 1:53pm on 07 May 2009, sarahtrieste wrote:
He's highly strung.

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40. At 1:53pm on 07 May 2009, sarahtrieste wrote:
This is the main body of my work.

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41. At 1:54pm on 07 May 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
Shaolin v Predator

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42. At 1:54pm on 07 May 2009, Tableturn wrote:
C3PO posed for the first of many "Page 3" appearances.

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43. At 1:54pm on 07 May 2009, sarahtrieste wrote:
I can also touch my nose with my tongue.

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44. At 1:55pm on 07 May 2009, sarahtrieste wrote:
The proof that a 6-pack is muscle work, not a beer gut.

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45. At 1:55pm on 07 May 2009, sarahtrieste wrote:
I don't have to worry about holes in my tights like this.

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46. At 1:56pm on 07 May 2009, sarahtrieste wrote:
There's more than one way to skin a cap.....

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47. At 1:57pm on 07 May 2009, Tableturn wrote:
Leonardo and Kate didn't look like this in Titanic, did they?

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48. At 1:57pm on 07 May 2009, sarahtrieste wrote:
"Me and my sh-a-a-adow...."

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49. At 1:57pm on 07 May 2009, presto_west_end wrote:
Gunther was a shadow of his future self.

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50. At 1:58pm on 07 May 2009, Tableturn wrote:
"I don't care he hasn't got any skin - what's that sticking out of his bottom?!"

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51. At 1:58pm on 07 May 2009, Tableturn wrote:
The Burns Unit of the Royal Free was always a happy place.

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52. At 1:59pm on 07 May 2009, sarahtrieste wrote:
Happy days, before swine flu, when all he had to worry about was flesh-eating bacteria.

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53. At 2:00pm on 07 May 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
This is what happens when you leave your body to science - the musical

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54. At 2:00pm on 07 May 2009, j-o-n-a-t-h-a-n wrote:
New virtual reality software not quite ready for release.

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55. At 2:00pm on 07 May 2009, Kudosless wrote:

Ballack dancer

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56. At 2:01pm on 07 May 2009, Skiron wrote:
The audience could see there was something missing in the latest production of 'The Nutcracker'.

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57. At 2:01pm on 07 May 2009, Kudosless wrote:

Cantona. The Musical.

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58. At 2:03pm on 07 May 2009, Kudosless wrote:

He Lakshmi. He Lakshmi not.

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59. At 2:04pm on 07 May 2009, Kudosless wrote:

Look. No Hans.

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60. At 2:04pm on 07 May 2009, j-o-n-a-t-h-a-n wrote:
Shylock's 'Pound of Flesh' scene cut from BBC Drama "The Merchant of Venice" amid public revulsion.

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61. At 2:05pm on 07 May 2009, Dodie_James wrote:
Was that twenty four applications of depilatory cream every one hour, or..

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62. At 2:06pm on 07 May 2009, SteeleHawker wrote:
Gunther was happy to appear in before and after adverts for Botox

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63. At 2:07pm on 07 May 2009, youngWillz wrote:
"I remember Arlene Philips saying to me, 'You know when you've been Tangoed'"

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64. At 2:07pm on 07 May 2009, SteeleHawker wrote:
Well, I think the first thing to do is to stop that sneezing fit of yours ...

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65. At 2:09pm on 07 May 2009, SteeleHawker wrote:
Maybe you ought to ask to be transferred from head keeper at the vultures' aviary to something safer - tigers perhaps?

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66. At 2:10pm on 07 May 2009, rogueslr wrote:
Happy days, before swine flu, when all he had to worry about was flesh-eating bacteria.

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67. At 2:10pm on 07 May 2009, j-o-n-a-t-h-a-n wrote:
And in today's lesson, we'll be considering the gender of nouns and why German Vocabulary uses male 'der', female 'die', and neutral 'das'.

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68. At 2:10pm on 07 May 2009, SteeleHawker wrote:
I don't think Burke and Hare were quite quick enough on this one

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69. At 2:10pm on 07 May 2009, youngWillz wrote:
"After some minor success at whipping tablecloths from under a set meal for three, I have now moved on to people's skins! TA - DAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!"

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70. At 2:11pm on 07 May 2009, rogueslr wrote:
Damien Hirst? Er, never heard of him.

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71. At 2:11pm on 07 May 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
"Hey, we've found the problem with the server. We think it's Perkins from Tech Support. Guess that explains why we haven't seen him around for awhile."

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72. At 2:11pm on 07 May 2009, Kudosless wrote:

Wayne's contribution to the piece was recognised in its title: Gunther Sleep

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73. At 2:13pm on 07 May 2009, ValerieGanne wrote:
J. J. Abrams assembles the original cast of Star Trek for just one more film ...

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74. At 2:13pm on 07 May 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
Well, we were clearing out the loft...

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75. At 2:14pm on 07 May 2009, PendragonF wrote:
Heston Blumenthal creates his Medical Feast for Channel 4

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76. At 2:14pm on 07 May 2009, rogueslr wrote:
After Boots launch their anti wrinkle cream, 'Everything A Pound' reveal their caustic soda based competitor.

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77. At 2:15pm on 07 May 2009, gemmington wrote:
The Royal Ballet model the latest in leotard design.

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78. At 2:15pm on 07 May 2009, j-o-n-a-t-h-a-n wrote:
The Scarecrow asked for a brain; for the Tinman, a heart; and the Lion, courage. The Plasticman's aspirations were somewhat smaller.

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79. At 2:15pm on 07 May 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
And the house comes with your very own dungeon...

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80. At 2:16pm on 07 May 2009, PendragonF wrote:
I told you to watch out for the Sun's ultra-violent rays

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81. At 2:16pm on 07 May 2009, youngWillz wrote:
"SOLD to the lady skeleton in the third row!"

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82. At 2:16pm on 07 May 2009, gemmington wrote:
Hang on. I think you've misunderstood how The Emperor's New Clothes is supposed to go.

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83. At 2:18pm on 07 May 2009, youngWillz wrote:
The recession had reduced Mr Muscle to a bit part in a touring show.

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84. At 2:18pm on 07 May 2009, PendragonF wrote:
For once, critics are unanimous that Haigh is an unsuitable subject for a musical

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85. At 2:19pm on 07 May 2009, gemmington wrote:
Warning: looking at naked people through X-ray specs may have unintended results.

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86. At 2:19pm on 07 May 2009, PendragonF wrote:
No, I recommended peach oil in your bath, not bleach

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87. At 2:19pm on 07 May 2009, j-o-n-a-t-h-a-n wrote:
Despite Daedalus's warnings, Icarus had leapt too near the Sun.

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88. At 2:21pm on 07 May 2009, PendragonF wrote:
PC Bertram wanted to look his best now he had been promoted to the Criminal Investigation Department, and decided to take a CID bath

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89. At 2:22pm on 07 May 2009, j-o-n-a-t-h-a-n wrote:
Vorsprung durch Plastik.

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90. At 2:22pm on 07 May 2009, PendragonF wrote:
"If people don't like it," said Gunther von Hagens, "It's no skin off my nose."

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91. At 2:22pm on 07 May 2009, PollySaxon wrote:
When Nuryev saw that scary bloke who does live televised autopsies creeping upi behind him, he litereally jumped out of his skin

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92. At 2:23pm on 07 May 2009, gemmington wrote:
Art student's skin vanishing act.

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93. At 2:23pm on 07 May 2009, DylanRex wrote:
The Harry Potter poster reacted badly to almost being kicked by a skinless ghoul.

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94. At 2:24pm on 07 May 2009, PendragonF wrote:
Gunther von Hagens premieres Stravinsky's new ballet "The Rite of Skin"

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95. At 2:25pm on 07 May 2009, SimonRooke wrote:
'Strictly' judges take their criticism to the next level.

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96. At 2:27pm on 07 May 2009, youngWillz wrote:
"And this is how Hannibal crossed the Alps...Hannibal Lecter that is"

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97. At 2:27pm on 07 May 2009, sarahtrieste wrote:
Bruce Lee goes in for skinned-flicks

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98. At 2:28pm on 07 May 2009, SimonRooke wrote:
And everyone wondered just how was Gunther managing to hold up the model.

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99. At 2:29pm on 07 May 2009, gemmington wrote:
Slim-Fast. Does exactly what it says on the tin.

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100. At 2:29pm on 07 May 2009, youngWillz wrote:
Revealed at last - Cher's stem cell

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101. At 2:30pm on 07 May 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
Sweeney Todd perfects the art of freeze drying

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102. At 2:30pm on 07 May 2009, Stephen, Leader of STROP wrote:
Gunther was clearly a poor choice for costume designer

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103. At 2:31pm on 07 May 2009, SimonRooke wrote:
Patrick Swayze reprises his role in a new production of Dirty Dancing.

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104. At 2:33pm on 07 May 2009, ManxDave57 wrote:
Gunter was so surprised by the applause, he jumped right out of his skin.

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105. At 2:34pm on 07 May 2009, ManxDave57 wrote:
Hannibal Lecter - The Musical

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106. At 2:34pm on 07 May 2009, Stephen, Leader of STROP wrote:
It was a particularly painful audition for the new version of the dying swan

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107. At 2:35pm on 07 May 2009, ManxDave57 wrote:
If you want to get ahead, get a hat !

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108. At 2:35pm on 07 May 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
It's our Hannibal Lechter line of tea cakes

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109. At 2:36pm on 07 May 2009, teazeldad wrote:
How Gunter managed to keep the body suspended was the cause of great debate

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110. At 2:37pm on 07 May 2009, ManxDave57 wrote:
Gunther displays his latest exhibit "Jake the Peg" to the world

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111. At 2:38pm on 07 May 2009, ManxDave57 wrote:
Gunther was so surprised by the applause, he jumped right out of his skin.

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112. At 2:40pm on 07 May 2009, LaurenceLane wrote:
Even necrophiliacs deserve to dance.

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113. At 2:40pm on 07 May 2009, justfor wrote:
"Just keep going until Simon buzzes."

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114. At 2:42pm on 07 May 2009, Dragndrop wrote:
My hide is tax-deductable.

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115. At 2:43pm on 07 May 2009, Dragndrop wrote:
The new-super-shaver gave a closer cut than anticipated.

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116. At 2:43pm on 07 May 2009, LaurenceLane wrote:
And he tastes like chicken.

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117. At 2:44pm on 07 May 2009, LaurenceLane wrote:
Skin, oh that's so last year!

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118. At 2:45pm on 07 May 2009, youngWillz wrote:
Eventually the result of Celebrity 'Come Dine With Me" was a draw, but Craig Revell-Horwood had gone to extreme lengths to get there

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119. At 2:46pm on 07 May 2009, Helenepitpony wrote:
Corpse de ballet

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120. At 2:46pm on 07 May 2009, Helenepitpony wrote:
As well as being scarily effective, the Von Hagens diet was notably rich in Vitamin C.

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121. At 2:48pm on 07 May 2009, Helenepitpony wrote:
"Se7en!"

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122. At 2:48pm on 07 May 2009, BeckySnow wrote:
During the internal examination alarm bells started to ring when he realised he could see both of the doctors hands.

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123. At 2:51pm on 07 May 2009, BeckySnow wrote:
During the internal examination alarm bells started to ring when he realised he could see both of the doctor's hands.

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124. At 2:51pm on 07 May 2009, teazeldad wrote:
Uma Thurman admitted having to work harder than ever to stay in shape for Kill Bill 3

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125. At 2:55pm on 07 May 2009, axelyopi wrote:
The 'hokey kokey' gets a long overdue revamp.

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126. At 2:56pm on 07 May 2009, nick_fowler wrote:
The Sellafield Swimming Club return from a bracing dip

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127. At 2:58pm on 07 May 2009, nick_fowler wrote:
Thanks in part to a deaf choreographer, the new production of 'Carmina Piranha' was coming on as well as could be expected

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128. At 3:00pm on 07 May 2009, Kudosless wrote:

Artistic Tendon Sees

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129. At 3:01pm on 07 May 2009, Kudosless wrote:

No I can't lend you a fiver; I'm skinned

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130. At 3:02pm on 07 May 2009, nick_fowler wrote:
I reckon we've got a good chance of an appeal though

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131. At 3:02pm on 07 May 2009, Izanagi wrote:
Gunther's spot the difference competition faced strong criticism this year.

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132. At 3:02pm on 07 May 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
Particularly nasty divorce was it?

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133. At 3:03pm on 07 May 2009, Kudosless wrote:

Face transplant donor wonders where the rest went ...

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134. At 3:03pm on 07 May 2009, nick_fowler wrote:
So the website said "Server is too busy" - must be the same one as at the pub I was in last night

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135. At 3:04pm on 07 May 2009, TheRealCatherineO wrote:
Barry's mum wasn't sure what was more regrettable: her son's shocking inability to vet potential housemates or his insistence that inside every fat man is a thin man trying to get out.

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136. At 3:05pm on 07 May 2009, rogueslr wrote:
He's a favourite with my little doggie.

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137. At 3:05pm on 07 May 2009, supermatt6000 wrote:
It was rumoured the 80 day balloon flight had taken its toll on Jackie Chan...

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138. At 3:06pm on 07 May 2009, j-o-n-a-t-h-a-n wrote:
Nobody puts Baby in the corner.

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139. At 3:07pm on 07 May 2009, j-o-n-a-t-h-a-n wrote:
Does my bum look big in this?
What bum?

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140. At 3:07pm on 07 May 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
I told you I'd make sure everyone saw your six pack now didn't I?

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141. At 3:07pm on 07 May 2009, supermatt6000 wrote:
Following the failure of his previous film, the director decided that Jaws 5 needed spicing up.

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142. At 3:08pm on 07 May 2009, kchybalski wrote:
As Gunther shouted "Boo!", Fred jumped out of his skin

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143. At 3:10pm on 07 May 2009, j-o-n-a-t-h-a-n wrote:
Global warming summit recommends urgent action.

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144. At 3:10pm on 07 May 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
And I have another high bid from the Mutter Museum

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145. At 3:10pm on 07 May 2009, Kudosless wrote:

The protest of Dr Spooner could just be seen in the background

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146. At 3:11pm on 07 May 2009, supermatt6000 wrote:
Hayden Christensen was sure Mr Lucas had promised the extensive use of special effects for the finale of Star Wars 3.

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147. At 3:13pm on 07 May 2009, supermatt6000 wrote:
I would like to return this human. It is deceased. It is no more!

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148. At 3:13pm on 07 May 2009, slapheadblue wrote:
"Look - no hands!"

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149. At 3:13pm on 07 May 2009, Dragndrop wrote:
Playing strip-poker with Gunther was a serious affair.

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150. At 3:15pm on 07 May 2009, nick_fowler wrote:
Then the Government changed its mind, sacked Gunther, and put a lot of laughing Tommy Cooper heads in the Millennium Dome instead

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151. At 3:16pm on 07 May 2009, j-o-n-a-t-h-a-n wrote:
I had a skinful last night.

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152. At 3:17pm on 07 May 2009, supermatt6000 wrote:
Frank Sinatra was still going strong, hitting the Billboard 100 for the second time with "I've got you under my skin".

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153. At 3:17pm on 07 May 2009, Izanagi wrote:
Employees not convinced at Gunther's attempts to prove he has a sense of humor too.

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154. At 3:17pm on 07 May 2009, nick_fowler wrote:
This move'll look great in the new Hai Karate aftershave advert, but I did warn you not to actually use any of it ...

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155. At 3:19pm on 07 May 2009, rogueslr wrote:
You had to hand it to Gunther, he always finished his autopsies on a high.

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156. At 3:19pm on 07 May 2009, supermatt6000 wrote:
Christian Bale decided that the cameraman should pay after all.

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157. At 3:20pm on 07 May 2009, rogueslr wrote:
And here we see Gunther and partner dancing to 'Bone to be Wild'.

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158. At 3:21pm on 07 May 2009, j-o-n-a-t-h-a-n wrote:
The Healthy Cannibal Cookbook: Recipe 47. Skinned meat with no veg.

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159. At 3:21pm on 07 May 2009, John_Sevenoaks wrote:
Geoff Boycott shows off England's new Twenty20 strip.

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160. At 3:23pm on 07 May 2009, SimonRooke wrote:
Gunther had originally intended to make a tableau of the Dambusters Raid, but Airfix got his order wrong.

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161. At 3:23pm on 07 May 2009, morwennahancock wrote:
Does my bum look big in this?

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162. At 3:24pm on 07 May 2009, tim__g wrote:
Blimey that was a shock - nearly made me jump out of my skin!

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163. At 3:24pm on 07 May 2009, supermatt6000 wrote:
Crouching Tiger, Hidden Agony

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164. At 3:25pm on 07 May 2009, andyshtam wrote:
Lindsay, with unusual modesty, celebrated her and Sam's reconciliation with an impressive leap for joy.

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165. At 3:26pm on 07 May 2009, supermatt6000 wrote:
And this my friends, is why you should never hurtle around Times Square in anything made by General Motors.

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166. At 3:27pm on 07 May 2009, tim__g wrote:
Fred was going to ask for a cod piece but discovered everything has been classed as 'loose skin'

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167. At 3:29pm on 07 May 2009, supermatt6000 wrote:
"Let diis be a lessern to all you lazy who arrive late to verk!"

(No I can't speak German, thought I would give it a go!)

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168. At 3:29pm on 07 May 2009, John_Sevenoaks wrote:
Gordon Ramsay regrets asking a Gurkha chef for a kukri demonstration.

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169. At 3:30pm on 07 May 2009, Scotch-git wrote:
Okay, from the top!

Right, 2, 3, KICK.............

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170. At 3:30pm on 07 May 2009, rego77660 wrote:
The Fawlty Towers reunion appears to have come a little late for some!

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171. At 3:31pm on 07 May 2009, iansessford wrote:
The judges had told him if he was going to win this series of `Strictly Come Dancing`he would have to dance out of his Skin!!

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172. At 3:33pm on 07 May 2009, nick_fowler wrote:
In some parts of the world, human pork scratchings were considered a delicacy

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173. At 3:36pm on 07 May 2009, MUZLER wrote:
You put your left leg in, left leg out.
Do the hookay cookay and shake it all about.

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174. At 3:36pm on 07 May 2009, supermatt6000 wrote:
Harriet Harman struggled to justify her latest benefit claim.

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175. At 3:37pm on 07 May 2009, MUZLER wrote:
credit crunch hits new low as people become skin..t

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176. At 3:37pm on 07 May 2009, penny-farthing wrote:
Sorry,mate,these critics are morons....they've flayed you alive.

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177. At 3:37pm on 07 May 2009, rego77660 wrote:
You won't listen!!
I said if you kept on with that diet you would end up just skin and bones.
But you had to take it that little bit further, didn't you!

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178. At 3:38pm on 07 May 2009, supermatt6000 wrote:
IM-HO-TEP...IM-HO-TEP...IM-H

Come on people, you know the drill! Give me an I!

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179. At 3:38pm on 07 May 2009, rego77660 wrote:
Ah, Grasshopper. You have much to learn!

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180. At 3:40pm on 07 May 2009, supermatt6000 wrote:
"PREESENTIIIING: THEEEEE HUUMAN DRAGONFLLLLY!!!!!"

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181. At 3:41pm on 07 May 2009, supermatt6000 wrote:
So, how does Brundlefly eat? OH GOOD GOD NO! AAAAAGH!

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182. At 3:41pm on 07 May 2009, SimonRooke wrote:
And, of course, without a new government ID card, strip searches are mandatory.

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183. At 3:42pm on 07 May 2009, supermatt6000 wrote:
It's like an apple corer, but better!

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184. At 3:43pm on 07 May 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
When you've been through the desert on a horse with no name...

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185. At 3:43pm on 07 May 2009, virtualfang wrote:
Are we Human?.... Or are we Dancer?

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186. At 3:44pm on 07 May 2009, supermatt6000 wrote:
I told you that would happen if you watched Kingdom of the Crystal Skull again. How long did you last?

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187. At 3:45pm on 07 May 2009, SussexGeezer wrote:
"Yes, his large organ really was this big; but as you can see he's a much better dancer with out it"

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188. At 3:47pm on 07 May 2009, virtualfang wrote:
Me with the floorshow
Kickin' with your torso
Boys getting high

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189. At 3:47pm on 07 May 2009, virtualfang wrote:
Wave your hands if you're not with the man
Can I kick it (yes you can)

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190. At 3:48pm on 07 May 2009, Dragndrop wrote:
There's no doubt about it! Tiger Balm really does take away all skin ailments.

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191. At 3:50pm on 07 May 2009, BeckySnow wrote:
Fame! I'm going to live forever, thanks to plastination!

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192. At 3:50pm on 07 May 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
Welcome back! How was your holiday with the Tuareg?

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193. At 3:51pm on 07 May 2009, supermatt6000 wrote:
Michael Jackson unveils the airwalk.

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194. At 3:55pm on 07 May 2009, rego77660 wrote:
All together now .... "I'm a little teapot ...."

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195. At 3:58pm on 07 May 2009, nick_fowler wrote:
Why Wayne Sleep was kicked out of anatomy class

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196. At 4:00pm on 07 May 2009, Soozeedee wrote:
Fabio practiced his pirouettes and jumps with such gusto that he accidentally jumped right out of his skin.

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197. At 4:01pm on 07 May 2009, supermatt6000 wrote:
"I'd like it rare."

"An excellent choice Sir."

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198. At 4:03pm on 07 May 2009, supermatt6000 wrote:
Madame Tussaud's begin work on their Spice Girls exhibition.

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199. At 4:04pm on 07 May 2009, lavaboarder wrote:
He was just showing off his muscles and the wind chnaged

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200. At 4:06pm on 07 May 2009, discom8 wrote:
oh my head.... I had a skin full last night.

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201. At 4:06pm on 07 May 2009, BeckySnow wrote:
Extreme nudism

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202. At 4:06pm on 07 May 2009, virtualfang wrote:
You got no love then you're with the wrong man
It's time to move your body

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203. At 4:07pm on 07 May 2009, Fauconnier wrote:
With the soaring price of beef and the traditional meats, the new wallchart in the butcher's was a bit of a shock to many of the shoppers

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204. At 4:07pm on 07 May 2009, honestAFCCanadian wrote:
Where did you say you got your new lederhosen Gunther!?

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205. At 4:09pm on 07 May 2009, Fauconnier wrote:
The Muscles from Brussels paté

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206. At 4:10pm on 07 May 2009, Dragndrop wrote:
Just a bit more and we'll get to the bone of contention

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207. At 4:10pm on 07 May 2009, virtualfang wrote:
you're a bare faced liar just because I said beauty is not just skin deep

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208. At 4:11pm on 07 May 2009, Fauconnier wrote:
The MP in charge of the Gurkhas reports back to Gordon Brown after his meeting with an enraged Joanna Lumley

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209. At 4:12pm on 07 May 2009, Fauconnier wrote:
Anyway, you'll soon be fit enough to judge the WBQ

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210. At 4:13pm on 07 May 2009, lavaboarder wrote:
Robot hair-stylist takes a request for short back and sides too literally

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211. At 4:13pm on 07 May 2009, virtualfang wrote:
Extreme Circumcision

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212. At 4:14pm on 07 May 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
Hide und chic

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213. At 4:14pm on 07 May 2009, wolfy2121 wrote:
"And i would have got away with it too, if it wasnt for you pesky kids!"

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214. At 4:17pm on 07 May 2009, supermatt6000 wrote:
So I forgot, is that Dorian Gray, Mr Hyde or Sean Connery?

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215. At 4:19pm on 07 May 2009, poshboy1980 wrote:
Waiter! I ordered mussels and frites not muscles and Fritz!

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216. At 4:19pm on 07 May 2009, supermatt6000 wrote:
Bloody scarab beetles!

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217. At 4:21pm on 07 May 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
The Germans were determined to prove that they had a sense of humour.

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218. At 4:23pm on 07 May 2009, nestpoint wrote:
When Gunther bust the balloon it made more than his mates hair fall out!

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219. At 4:26pm on 07 May 2009, wolfy2121 wrote:
So you say these are known as 'Jazz Hands'.

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220. At 4:29pm on 07 May 2009, Fauconnier wrote:
So much for your celebrity interview with Frank Skinner

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221. At 4:32pm on 07 May 2009, Fauconnier wrote:
I know we're putting on "The Sound of Music," but I think you may have misheard that you were singing "Do-Fle-Mi"

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222. At 4:32pm on 07 May 2009, christianjimmy wrote:
Riverdance was going to be a little different this time round!

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223. At 4:33pm on 07 May 2009, Sharpe-Intake wrote:
Alright, Nigel, not the latex catsuit again. Any other allergies?

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224. At 4:34pm on 07 May 2009, E553X80Y wrote:
Andrew Lloyd Webber was less than impressed with the pitch for Swine Flu The Musical.

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225. At 4:34pm on 07 May 2009, virtualfang wrote:
The Colonel introduces real 'finger-lickin' good food

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226. At 4:39pm on 07 May 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
Und if you vere sinking of zending in your caption via ze letters form...

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227. At 4:39pm on 07 May 2009, lavaboarder wrote:
Wow! What a night! I got completely plastinated

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228. At 4:40pm on 07 May 2009, beemoh wrote:
After being surprised by Gunter, Richard O'Brien /literally/ jumped out of his skin.

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229. At 4:40pm on 07 May 2009, virtualfang wrote:
Albania's Eurovision Entry Bo Neidle unlined their countries rural poverty gap

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230. At 4:42pm on 07 May 2009, lavaboarder wrote:
I just caught a bit skin on a door handle while passing and now look at me

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231. At 4:45pm on 07 May 2009, David_Beeb wrote:
Boo! Now who's the scariest?

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232. At 4:48pm on 07 May 2009, Fauconnier wrote:
What do you get if you cover the exhibits in washing-powder? Hagens-Daz.

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233. At 4:48pm on 07 May 2009, KieranOx wrote:
"Taxidermist!"

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234. At 4:51pm on 07 May 2009, Stephen, Leader of STROP wrote:
You must be joking - I wouldn't be seen dead in that outfit!

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235. At 4:51pm on 07 May 2009, thepurist wrote:
Worlds first Viagra sponsored ventriloquist finishes his show with "Gudolf Gureyev" impression

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236. At 4:54pm on 07 May 2009, supermatt6000 wrote:
Above all, Gunther was praised for his deadication.

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237. At 4:55pm on 07 May 2009, supermatt6000 wrote:
Then I saw her face, I'm a cadaver, without a trace of doubt in my mind...

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238. At 4:57pm on 07 May 2009, supermatt6000 wrote:
Spandau Ballet reform!

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239. At 4:57pm on 07 May 2009, Helen_Gabriella wrote:
Gunter had to be especially careful not to pull a muscle.

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240. At 4:59pm on 07 May 2009, GirlWeekday wrote:
Hagens unveils the world's first full body chemical peel

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241. At 4:59pm on 07 May 2009, SimonRooke wrote:
Now, that's what I call striptease.

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242. At 5:01pm on 07 May 2009, supermatt6000 wrote:
Careless Pork Costs Lives!

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243. At 5:01pm on 07 May 2009, SimonRooke wrote:
Tonight on 'Plasic Surgery Today', we discover what happens when liposuction goes wrong.

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244. At 5:02pm on 07 May 2009, SimonRooke wrote:
Well, you know what they say, 'Beauty is only skin...', oh!

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245. At 5:05pm on 07 May 2009, LaurenceLane wrote:
With London Fashion Week approaching, models were anxious to get into shape.

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246. At 5:05pm on 07 May 2009, supermatt6000 wrote:
Kellog's release a new brand of cereal exclusively in Papua New Guinea: So-so pops. What goes off in that bowl?

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247. At 5:05pm on 07 May 2009, TheRealCatherineO wrote:
Donate your body in haste, repent at leisure.

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248. At 5:06pm on 07 May 2009, supermatt6000 wrote:
Don't worry, we should have you sown back up in no time!

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249. At 5:08pm on 07 May 2009, LaurenceLane wrote:
I invested with Madoff and this is all I've been left with.

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250. At 5:11pm on 07 May 2009, LaurenceLane wrote:
Hustler just had to keep pushing the boundaries...

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251. At 5:14pm on 07 May 2009, Fauconnier wrote:
Gunther's dance partner insists on his doing something about his breath problem

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252. At 5:27pm on 07 May 2009, Fauconnier wrote:
At last, the BBC Magazine Monitor shows us exactly what a technical gremlin looks like

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253. At 5:29pm on 07 May 2009, Fauconnier wrote:
A fellow crew-member on "The Bounty" tries to console Fletcher Christian after the keel-hauling

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254. At 5:30pm on 07 May 2009, Fauconnier wrote:
I don't know who he is, but there's a picture of him in our doctor's surgery

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255. At 5:39pm on 07 May 2009, blues_x_man wrote:
Remember my name! (Fame!) Im gonna live forever...... Doh!

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256. At 5:42pm on 07 May 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
The Wolverine spin-off that wasn't

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257. At 5:43pm on 07 May 2009, tom_w_webb wrote:
In attempt to revamp their flagging Saturday night ratings, ITV reveals their new, and somewhat controversial, dancing on ice format.

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258. At 5:45pm on 07 May 2009, Lloyd-Barnes wrote:
Gunther`s request to dance with a naked Lady Godiva was somewhat misinterpreted at the morgue

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259. At 5:49pm on 07 May 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
"Hey, Rocky, watch me pull a cadaver out of my hat, nothing up my sleeve..."

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260. At 5:54pm on 07 May 2009, robindover wrote:
Gunthers choice of weathervane was considered by some to be in in poor taste.

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261. At 5:54pm on 07 May 2009, robindover wrote:
Nothing too hide...

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262. At 5:59pm on 07 May 2009, Fauconnier wrote:
Hey, that's our Jeremy - he works as a model at Dorling Kindersley

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263. At 6:04pm on 07 May 2009, Helen_Gabriella wrote:
Fame! I'm going to liver forever!

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264. At 6:07pm on 07 May 2009, Dragndrop wrote:
"Goal!"

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265. At 6:11pm on 07 May 2009, akennedy448 wrote:
Whilst protein supplements can help to improve muscle tone, it is wise to take them in moderation.

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266. At 6:13pm on 07 May 2009, grazvalentine wrote:
Im from Berlin, he's a Frankfurter.

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267. At 6:19pm on 07 May 2009, aaronics8 wrote:
I am happy for you, But what did the leaflet say the side effects of the swine flu vacine were again

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268. At 6:21pm on 07 May 2009, aaronics8 wrote:
i see you have had that mole removed

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269. At 6:25pm on 07 May 2009, sarahtrieste wrote:
Leonardo tried out many ideas before he was satisfied with his Vitruvian Man.

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270. At 6:26pm on 07 May 2009, MJF_dodo wrote:
Silver Surfer sells skin to beat recession.

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271. At 6:27pm on 07 May 2009, grazvalentine wrote:
Helmut not Shoen.

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272. At 6:34pm on 07 May 2009, clareeH wrote:
Proof that you shouldn't put Baby in the corner for too long...

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273. At 6:35pm on 07 May 2009, ARoseByAnyOther wrote:
Something for the weekend, sir?

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274. At 6:37pm on 07 May 2009, ARoseByAnyOther wrote:
"I don't care how excited you are about your little find, Igor, I've got all the parts I need for the moment."

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275. At 6:37pm on 07 May 2009, MJF_dodo wrote:
"You may comfortable in your own skin but I'm not."

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276. At 6:37pm on 07 May 2009, W_K_Snowdon wrote:
Were not sure how to break this to you Gunther, but unfortunately hes also blind..

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277. At 6:38pm on 07 May 2009, aaronics8 wrote:
I see you had that mole removed

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278. At 6:39pm on 07 May 2009, ARoseByAnyOther wrote:
Let me hear your body talk, your body talk. Let me hear your body talk ...

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279. At 6:41pm on 07 May 2009, W_K_Snowdon wrote:
Please don't try this at home..

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280. At 6:42pm on 07 May 2009, ARoseByAnyOther wrote:
Wall chart? I've a better idea for a giveaway.

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281. At 6:44pm on 07 May 2009, MJF_dodo wrote:
"Your fake tan is a bit uneven."

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282. At 6:45pm on 07 May 2009, MJF_dodo wrote:
"You may feel comfortable in your own skin but I don't."

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283. At 6:51pm on 07 May 2009, Maggiemaynotbe wrote:
Gunther had taken up knitting to beat the recession, but hadn't quite solved the problem of dropped stitches.

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284. At 6:54pm on 07 May 2009, ARoseByAnyOther wrote:
"No, no, no! I didn't say 'Simon says'"

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285. At 6:56pm on 07 May 2009, MJF_dodo wrote:
"I met Didier Drogba on the way and told him that I thought that the referee had a good game last night and now look at the state of me."

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286. At 7:04pm on 07 May 2009, supermatt6000 wrote:
He dropped a packet of crisps 23 years ago and the Government still haven't released his DNA. He says he's not budging.

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287. At 7:06pm on 07 May 2009, W_K_Snowdon wrote:
Right Sir, lets go through this again. You say it started when your friend had a 'small itch'..

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288. At 7:12pm on 07 May 2009, ARoseByAnyOther wrote:
Gunther, liebchen, what are my new purse and shoes made from?

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289. At 7:13pm on 07 May 2009, sarahtrieste wrote:
Gunther enjoyed conducting "The Rites of Spring".

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290. At 7:21pm on 07 May 2009, Fauconnier wrote:
Customs Officer McNurdle was perplexed - he had undertaken a thorough search, but couldn't find any drugs anywhere

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291. At 7:24pm on 07 May 2009, SpringChicky wrote:
Friends, Romans, countrymen lend me your..........skin?

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292. At 7:26pm on 07 May 2009, Dragndrop wrote:
See! I told you we could eradicate all your tattoos.

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293. At 7:27pm on 07 May 2009, Fauconnier wrote:
Gunther's friend was reassured to learn that King Kong was a vegetarian - unfortunately, the big ape thought he was a banana

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294. At 7:34pm on 07 May 2009, SpringChicky wrote:
Please don't panic! We realise our new slimming pill prototype still has some tweaking to be done!

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295. At 7:37pm on 07 May 2009, SpringChicky wrote:
Forget about size zero, girls......we announce size "-10"!!!!!

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296. At 7:51pm on 07 May 2009, MJF_dodo wrote:
"I gather the new soap wasn't dermatologically tested."

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297. At 8:26pm on 07 May 2009, Kitkat_Katy wrote:
Gunther started to have doubts that he had actually found his identical twin brother.

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298. At 8:56pm on 07 May 2009, aaronics8 wrote:
I told you this new hair removing product would be a huge success

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299. At 9:02pm on 07 May 2009, aaronics8 wrote:
told you to have faith, as you could do one better.....by being the worlds first full body skin doner!

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300. At 9:25pm on 07 May 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
Gunter took the advice given in the Graduate to heart more deeply than many.

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301. At 9:28pm on 07 May 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
One word, Gunther, just one word, are you listening?

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302. At 9:53pm on 07 May 2009, Dragndrop wrote:
I'll get my coat, shall I?

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303. At 9:58pm on 07 May 2009, Skepsia wrote:
'Still life' actor scares a passer by with the old 'Give us a kiss routine'

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304. At 10:01pm on 07 May 2009, Skepsia wrote:
Guess whp has held the pose the longest...

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305. At 10:16pm on 07 May 2009, billcam wrote:
"It wasn't me, Gauguin did it!!"

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306. At 10:18pm on 07 May 2009, jonathanrbell wrote:
You see, the amazing thing about having no skin is that you simply cannot have a double chin!

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307. At 10:19pm on 07 May 2009, YodaBoyGrimbo wrote:
"To you". "To me". Gunther and a pal reenact a classic Chuckle Brothers sketch with an imaginary sheet of glass.

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308. At 10:29pm on 07 May 2009, Hobbitmorley wrote:
Gunther promotes his new carrot and parsnip diet.

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309. At 10:36pm on 07 May 2009, PattyBlue wrote:
The small part as a crash test dummy had really gone to Nigel's head.

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310. At 10:37pm on 07 May 2009, YodaBoyGrimbo wrote:
The audience gave Gunther von Hagens and Robbie Williams a standing ovation at the end of their pasodoble. Craig Revel Horwood made some predictably scathing comments nonetheless.

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311. At 10:44pm on 07 May 2009, YodaBoyGrimbo wrote:
...and just when Robbie was finishing the video, some idiot behind him started waving and shouting "Hello Mum!"

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312. At 10:51pm on 07 May 2009, Dan-H-Bowen wrote:
Bruce Forsyth realizes it is time to give up strictly come dancing. But he goes out with a fleshy pasodoble.

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313. At 10:53pm on 07 May 2009, iomanoid wrote:
"I could drink you under the table."

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314. At 10:55pm on 07 May 2009, The_Bob_Glasgow wrote:
Madame Tussaud's fail to capture a true likeness of Ant and Dec

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315. At 10:56pm on 07 May 2009, Dan-H-Bowen wrote:
Dave was pleased to hear the news:

"Your certainly the biggest organ donor."

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316. At 10:58pm on 07 May 2009, Dan-H-Bowen wrote:
Plastic surgery companies finally come clean about their hidden befores and afters.

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317. At 10:59pm on 07 May 2009, cptsalazar wrote:
Dr Von Hagens cleverly managed to shield himself from the nuclear blast - but only at the expense of his new karate teacher.

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318. At 11:01pm on 07 May 2009, The_Bob_Glasgow wrote:
Finally revealed: Paper Monitor and Magazine Monitor - The holiday snaps they didn't want YOU to see!

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319. At 11:03pm on 07 May 2009, The_Bob_Glasgow wrote:
Proof once and for all that it's better to be flayed alive than to wear a leather waistcoat.

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320. At 11:05pm on 07 May 2009, SeanieSmith wrote:
"OK, who's next to see the triage nurse?"

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321. At 11:14pm on 07 May 2009, SeanieSmith wrote:
"Hey bartender...how long do I have to wait to get served in this place?"

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322. At 11:22pm on 07 May 2009, semiarid wrote:
"You put your left foot in,
You put your left foot out,
You put your left foot in,
And you shake it all about.
You do the Hokey Pokey
And you turn yourself around,
That's what it's all about."

Listen to the tune here: http://kids.niehs.nih.gov/lyrics/hokey.htm

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323. At 11:23pm on 07 May 2009, Fauconnier wrote:
The truth behind doner kebabs

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324. At 11:30pm on 07 May 2009, FrankGrimesJnr wrote:
The Rolling Stones' gig attracted the younger generation as well as the original fans.

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325. At 11:30pm on 07 May 2009, Fauconnier wrote:
Bruce Lee is dug up to make one more posthumous sequel

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326. At 11:31pm on 07 May 2009, DougieLawson wrote:
Dem bones, dem bones, dem dry bones.

The knee bone connected to the --- thigh bone,
The thigh bone connected to the --- back bone,
The back bone connected to the --- neck bone
The neck bone connected to the --- head bone
Oh hear the word of the Lord!

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327. At 11:32pm on 07 May 2009, Fauconnier wrote:
I told you not to order Steve Austin's skin from British Leyland

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328. At 11:38pm on 07 May 2009, nickson1 wrote:
"Crash Test Dummies", The Ballet

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329. At 11:55pm on 07 May 2009, kathrn wrote:
Leaping lizards..I've been accepted as a demo for Anatomy 101!

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330. At 00:11am on 08 May 2009, Rob Falconer wrote:
These days, Spiderman was so busy he didn't have time to clean his outfit between rescues

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331. At 00:14am on 08 May 2009, Tremorman wrote:
Oh Gunther can we rest now I'm dead on my feet.

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332. At 00:15am on 08 May 2009, Tremorman wrote:
Gunther wasn't sure an x-ray would be of any use at this time.

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333. At 00:18am on 08 May 2009, Tremorman wrote:
So Herr Muller you say this all started after eating a laxative bar.

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334. At 00:21am on 08 May 2009, Tremorman wrote:
And everytime you eat it goes straight through you.

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335. At 00:23am on 08 May 2009, Tremorman wrote:
After numerous gin and tonics the strip poker had gone too far.

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336. At 00:26am on 08 May 2009, Tremorman wrote:
Even Duracel batteries wouldn't keep this one working.

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337. At 00:29am on 08 May 2009, Tremorman wrote:
Hey Dad I'm not sure but I think I've spilt some of that paint remover on myself.

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338. At 00:34am on 08 May 2009, Tremorman wrote:
So you are not bothered by the weight loss, only by the dogs that follow you.

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339. At 00:37am on 08 May 2009, Tremorman wrote:
Have you been waiting long.

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340. At 01:09am on 08 May 2009, DonnyAsh wrote:
I said 'ballet', not 'flay'!!!!

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341. At 02:08am on 08 May 2009, jennikins84 wrote:
Some spectators felt the pressure on dancers to lose weight had gone a little too far.

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342. At 02:10am on 08 May 2009, samanthalodge wrote:
Y.M.C.A.....

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343. At 02:18am on 08 May 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
"The light that burns twice as bright, burns half as long. And you have burned so very, very brightly, Gunther."

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344. At 03:01am on 08 May 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
Plastic Man: "I won't be back"

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345. At 05:13am on 08 May 2009, frigorifico wrote:
Gunther sings der music from Dermis Saigon.

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346. At 06:32am on 08 May 2009, beadyminces wrote:
Michael Jackson rehearses a dance routine for his forthcoming concert at the O2 arena.

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347. At 06:37am on 08 May 2009, ELIVSLIVES wrote:
You made me jump out of my skin!

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348. At 06:40am on 08 May 2009, beadyminces wrote:
What is Gordon Brown doing in the background with his black Y fronts on?

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349. At 07:52am on 08 May 2009, nightporter_ wrote:
..and to think I hesitated.

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350. At 07:53am on 08 May 2009, nightporter_ wrote:
It was a good double act but it needed fleshing out a little.

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351. At 07:56am on 08 May 2009, nightporter_ wrote:
Haven't I "sinew" before somewhere?

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352. At 08:01am on 08 May 2009, nickson1 wrote:
Joe was also having a terrible job hailing a taxi despite imitating the German Tourists flamboyant technique.

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353. At 08:01am on 08 May 2009, DavidDeeMoz wrote:
Difficult to tell, isn't it? I think Gunther is the one with the hat.

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354. At 08:08am on 08 May 2009, nickson1 wrote:
Gunther ist das eine Pistole in Ihrer Tasche oder ist Sie gerade gefreut, mich zu sehen!

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355. At 08:09am on 08 May 2009, nightporter_ wrote:
Gunthur whaddaya say, after this gig we chew the fat over dinner?

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356. At 08:12am on 08 May 2009, HughMcKinney wrote:
Jacquie Smith's meeting with the Chief Whip had been more severe than expected.

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357. At 08:13am on 08 May 2009, nightporter_ wrote:
"What did you do with my skin?"
Gunther: "cloakroom"

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358. At 08:13am on 08 May 2009, SpringChicky wrote:
What with £1 for the toilets, Ryanair had gone too far with the £5 to wear your skin....

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359. At 08:14am on 08 May 2009, qqqsgb wrote:
If beauty is only skin deep, I'm the ugliest dancer in the world!

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360. At 08:26am on 08 May 2009, haggis1876 wrote:

High powered sunbed salons were outlawed at last. It was a victory to late for Klaus though.

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361. At 08:34am on 08 May 2009, Fungus the Bogeyman wrote:
A skinny soubresaut was all the rage at Bolshoi Theatre Coffee Shop

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362. At 08:38am on 08 May 2009, Fungus the Bogeyman wrote:
Ginger Spice tries out her new dance moves

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363. At 08:44am on 08 May 2009, haggis1876 wrote:
Extreme Morphing!

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364. At 08:55am on 08 May 2009, RMutt-Urinal wrote:
After one of the worst shirt pulling incidents seen at Stamford Bridge, Chelsea again fail to win a penalty.

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365. At 08:57am on 08 May 2009, Dodie_James wrote:
Icarus: The Musical

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366. At 08:59am on 08 May 2009, RMutt-Urinal wrote:
Even after donating his body to science, Maradonna still beats Peter Shilton to the ball.

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367. At 08:59am on 08 May 2009, iansessford wrote:
Herr Cowell was not impressed with the latest dance act on `Germany`s Got Talent`.

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368. At 09:01am on 08 May 2009, PhilWal0 wrote:
"So, if both my legs are up, what exactly am I standing on?"

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369. At 09:01am on 08 May 2009, Tremorman wrote:
Wolfgang I think you have taken the expression, "Beauty is only skin deep" a bit too serious.

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370. At 09:03am on 08 May 2009, MrSnoozy wrote:
So after seeing this new teaching technique I promised by 6 year old daughter we'd find a new ballet school. Her nightmares are far less frequent now...

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371. At 09:03am on 08 May 2009, Vazzok wrote:
Dr Frankenstein proudly unveiling his 2009 model.

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372. At 09:04am on 08 May 2009, peterstagg wrote:
After giving it long consideraton, Gunther's wife decided to warn others of the dangers of excessive skin exfoliation

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373. At 09:05am on 08 May 2009, MrSnoozy wrote:
We knew Freddy Kreuger had a split personality, and this slide shows that fact very clearly.

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374. At 09:05am on 08 May 2009, Tremorman wrote:
Gunther was beginning to see through Helmut his assistant.

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375. At 09:16am on 08 May 2009, haggis1876 wrote:
My philosophy has always been "love the skin you're in" said Gunther with a wry smile.

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376. At 09:27am on 08 May 2009, ManxDave57 wrote:
Gunther reveals the musculature of the once Three Legged Race World Champion.

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377. At 09:27am on 08 May 2009, teazeldad wrote:
Bonnie Langford's appearance on Strictly Come Dancing raised a few eyebrows

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378. At 09:32am on 08 May 2009, hagmaggie wrote:
Stop Thief....!

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379. At 09:34am on 08 May 2009, ManxDave57 wrote:
He was not a particularly good dancer, but he was very well endowed...

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380. At 09:35am on 08 May 2009, haveronjones wrote:
Stephen King's new production of 'Billy Elliott' had received mixed reviews

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381. At 09:37am on 08 May 2009, davecutler wrote:
I've heard of forgetting your coat, . . .

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382. At 09:38am on 08 May 2009, generalhague wrote:
Look! No hands!

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383. At 09:40am on 08 May 2009, davecutler wrote:
Asked if he had had to diet for his role ...

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384. At 09:41am on 08 May 2009, haggis1876 wrote:
In Germany, skinny dipping has a totaly different meaning!!

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385. At 09:42am on 08 May 2009, generalhague wrote:
A scene from "Hannibal Lecter - the Musical"

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386. At 09:43am on 08 May 2009, haveronjones wrote:
Hands up if you use Right Guard!

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387. At 09:52am on 08 May 2009, Babycakes885 wrote:
Sings: "Reach for the Stars! Climb every mountain higher ..."

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388. At 09:56am on 08 May 2009, John_Sevenoaks wrote:
Understudy for David Tennant's Hamlet takes over after 'O that this too too solid flesh would melt' is taken too too literally.

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389. At 09:57am on 08 May 2009, SimonRooke wrote:
Gene Kelly reprises his role in 'Singing in the Acid Rain'.

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390. At 09:59am on 08 May 2009, qqqsgb wrote:
O My Darling
O My Darling
O My Darling, Nureyev
Your skin is lost, and gone for ever
But I've found my Clementine!

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391. At 10:01am on 08 May 2009, jataomm wrote:
BOO!

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392. At 10:05am on 08 May 2009, RMutt-Urinal wrote:
After an extraordinary run of bad luck at strip rock, paper, scissors Gunther's opponent considers calling it a day.

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393. At 10:08am on 08 May 2009, fandango2 wrote:
After capturing the hearts of the 'Britain's Got Talent' audience and millions of YouTube viewers, dancing duo deny plans for a makeover.

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394. At 10:08am on 08 May 2009, haggis1876 wrote:
Inside-out, boy you turn me....

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395. At 10:09am on 08 May 2009, PendragonF wrote:
I thought I was hiring the Noskin Cossack Dancers

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396. At 10:09am on 08 May 2009, PendragonF wrote:
But your insides shouldn't be outside

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397. At 10:11am on 08 May 2009, PendragonF wrote:
Next time, be a little bit more careful taking your jumper off

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398. At 10:12am on 08 May 2009, welovesoup wrote:
This year's Turner Prize winner: six degrees from avin' Bacon

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399. At 10:14am on 08 May 2009, mr_ben39 wrote:
Skinless man fails to recover his stolen hat!

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400. At 10:17am on 08 May 2009, Shedsey wrote:
I am not at all happy with him standing so close behind me like that!!

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401. At 10:19am on 08 May 2009, SundayParkGeorge wrote:
The Royal Ballet deny their entrance criteria are too strict.

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402. At 10:21am on 08 May 2009, ValerieGanne wrote:
I can certainly recommend the gluteus maximus today, Madam

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403. At 10:24am on 08 May 2009, fandango2 wrote:
Defending criticism of anatomical inaccuracies, Gunther tells the press "...but his heart's in the right place".

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404. At 10:28am on 08 May 2009, HashCashEH3 wrote:
I was so worried about catching swine flu I jumped out of my sking, I think this is the right position to get back in! HELP!!!

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405. At 10:30am on 08 May 2009, HashCashEH3 wrote:
Oops, that should have been -
I was so worried about catching swine flu I jumped out of my SKIN, I think this it the right position to get back in! HELP!!!

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406. At 10:33am on 08 May 2009, chesera wrote:
if you continue with a high fat diet and these new slimming pills the bottom will fall out of your world - or the world will fall out of your bottom

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407. At 10:33am on 08 May 2009, Spraggy wrote:
All he said was Boo! and Billy Elliot jumped out of his skin.

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408. At 10:35am on 08 May 2009, Spockter wrote:
The costume interpretation on Strictly Come Dancing for "I Ain't Got No Body" frightened some of the younger viewers.

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409. At 10:38am on 08 May 2009, Burnellroad wrote:
During rehearsals, Michael Jackson alarms his dancers that his cosmetic surgery has gone one step too far......

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410. At 10:43am on 08 May 2009, SeanieSmith wrote:
"I tell yer, mate - you Germans don't know how to enjoy yourself on holiday like us Brits "

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411. At 10:48am on 08 May 2009, adno83 wrote:
It's disgraceful! A crime against nature! I mean come on... black fedora hat... with a leather waistcoat? Vot vos he sinking!?

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412. At 10:48am on 08 May 2009, SeanieSmith wrote:
"I couldn't believe the price of drinks in that club...I was mortified."

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413. At 10:52am on 08 May 2009, SeanieSmith wrote:
"I'm sorry, sir - I can't let you in without a tie."

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414. At 10:54am on 08 May 2009, SundayParkGeorge wrote:
Gunther had misunderstood when he was told to cut staffing levels to the bone

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415. At 10:57am on 08 May 2009, LaurenceLane wrote:
Rearrange, jumped, skin, out of, his, to form a well known phrase or saying.

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416. At 10:58am on 08 May 2009, SundayParkGeorge wrote:
Don't worry, I'm sure we can find some skin cheap on eBay.

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417. At 10:59am on 08 May 2009, jellyba wrote:
thirty minutes in the tanning salon

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418. At 10:59am on 08 May 2009, jellyba wrote:
Orange two for one

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419. At 10:59am on 08 May 2009, SundayParkGeorge wrote:
The remake of Morph had lost some of its original charm

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420. At 11:00am on 08 May 2009, SundayParkGeorge wrote:
Morph: The Ninja Years

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421. At 11:01am on 08 May 2009, haggis1876 wrote:
Enthusiastic promotion of the Pet Shop Boys tour, 2020.

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422. At 11:01am on 08 May 2009, jellyba wrote:
Corpse de ballet

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423. At 11:03am on 08 May 2009, jellyba wrote:
Tutu skinny

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424. At 11:04am on 08 May 2009, jellyba wrote:
Scandal he's forgotten his dance belt

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425. At 11:08am on 08 May 2009, jellyba wrote:
Another disaster at Le Papillon
for those of you who've heard of Emma Livry

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426. At 11:10am on 08 May 2009, EnglishFolkfan wrote:
eat your heart out Mr Universe.

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427. At 11:13am on 08 May 2009, Rob Falconer wrote:
"An Evening with the Russian Coassacks" is hosted by H from Steppes

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428. At 11:14am on 08 May 2009, Rob Falconer wrote:
"An Evening with the Russian Cossacks" is hosted by H from Steppes

Sorry

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429. At 11:21am on 08 May 2009, CairngormMcWomble wrote:
Open auditions for YMCA the musical, attracted the usual number of comedy wanna-bes who tried just *too* hard.

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430. At 11:22am on 08 May 2009, jarlaberg wrote:
Hagens does, and I scream!

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431. At 11:22am on 08 May 2009, haggis1876 wrote:
"But i haf put mien skin on this sun lounger!"

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432. At 11:24am on 08 May 2009, CairngormMcWomble wrote:
Eric always had been of a nervous disposition, being goosed by Gunther had proved fatal.

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433. At 11:25am on 08 May 2009, Lynxboy252 wrote:
Gunther, I think i've pulled a muscle!

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434. At 11:27am on 08 May 2009, fbxiii wrote:
The Karate kid was beginning to regret doing a flying kick through the acid fountain.

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435. At 11:28am on 08 May 2009, fbxiii wrote:
The old lady just couldnt resist chewing on billboards.

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436. At 11:29am on 08 May 2009, justfor wrote:
"Should have gone to the thorax/abdomen specialist."

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437. At 11:29am on 08 May 2009, big_tall_man wrote:
Until Gunther walked in claiming to have been tangoed, it was just another quiet day in A&E.

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438. At 11:30am on 08 May 2009, Lynxboy252 wrote:
Is that a scalpal in your pocket or are you pleased to see me?

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439. At 11:31am on 08 May 2009, fbxiii wrote:
Gunther demonstrates his new exfoliation technique.

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440. At 11:31am on 08 May 2009, fbxiii wrote:
These cases of conjoined twins just get weirder and weirder.

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441. At 11:32am on 08 May 2009, potkettle wrote:
"Saw The ride" aftermath

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442. At 11:32am on 08 May 2009, Lynxboy252 wrote:
Gunther acts out his favourite S Club 7 routine... "reach... for the scars".

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443. At 11:32am on 08 May 2009, roses2at wrote:
This stupid robot standing behind me is very unrealistic...and someone has put Grandad's pork pie hat on it as well.

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444. At 11:34am on 08 May 2009, rcrobjohn wrote:
I clearly said 'to science' not Stiffly Come Dancing you German lunatic.

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445. At 11:35am on 08 May 2009, fbxiii wrote:
Bigfoot was beginning to regret walking in on Gunther and George Michael so decided to sneak out of the back door.

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446. At 11:37am on 08 May 2009, justfor wrote:
"Well, it's your own fault." The sign at Chernobyl's swimming pool clearly stated "No skinny dipping!"

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447. At 11:40am on 08 May 2009, fbxiii wrote:
Unfortunately, Ben Fogles condition was still deteriorating.

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448. At 11:41am on 08 May 2009, Lynxboy252 wrote:
In a bit to topple Susan Boyle, Gunther auditions for Britains Got Talent where the judges declare his performance as 'dead good'.

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449. At 11:41am on 08 May 2009, Kitwemiller wrote:
As it comes to end, the years of touring with 'Lord of the Dance' has left some of the dancers a little worse for wear. But organisers Flatley deny that Gunther auditioned as a replacement.

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450. At 11:46am on 08 May 2009, CHempstead wrote:
Bruce Forsyth hosts the 100th series of Strictly Come Dancing

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451. At 11:47am on 08 May 2009, jataomm wrote:
Health and Safety point 3: The danger of getting nipple piercings caught in the machinery.

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452. At 11:48am on 08 May 2009, SundayParkGeorge wrote:
Although the company were rightly proud not to test their products on animals, some of the side effects of the latest underarm deodorant were somewhat extreme.

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453. At 11:54am on 08 May 2009, Lynxboy252 wrote:
Gunther had a clumsy grasp of English; realising his embarrasing mistake of mis-interpreting 'jumping dancer' he declared the show must go on.

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454. At 11:56am on 08 May 2009, Dundeen wrote:
Honestly....Peel away the skin and he is modelled on me !! Of course I have a six pack !!

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455. At 11:57am on 08 May 2009, ironpaulshaw wrote:
Fern still stood by her decision to have gastric band surgery

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456. At 11:58am on 08 May 2009, Lynxboy252 wrote:
The singing just got worse, especially after Gunther hit a bum note.

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457. At 11:59am on 08 May 2009, TheBoltonsMum wrote:
Dom DeLuise's body to make cameo appearance in Cannibal Run

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458. At 12:03pm on 08 May 2009, Lynxboy252 wrote:
Gunther idolised Fred Astaire; his favourite being 'Dancing cheek to cheek'.

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459. At 12:09pm on 08 May 2009, Nick_Church wrote:
The new range of novelty badges were seen as impractical, at best

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460. At 12:21pm on 08 May 2009, blogbuster wrote:
Jackie Chan was regretting his choice of plastic surgeon for his tummy tuck...

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461. At 12:22pm on 08 May 2009, jtotheglo wrote:
Reasons to not play with piranhas #4

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462. At 12:23pm on 08 May 2009, ArgieWizard wrote:
And here we have a real life out-of-body experience.

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463. At 12:29pm on 08 May 2009, emperorx wrote:
Queue forms at auditions for Matrix 4 - Matrix Unskinned

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464. At 12:31pm on 08 May 2009, ManxDave57 wrote:
Disturbing looking cadaverous man pictured with skinless human exhibit.

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465. At 12:32pm on 08 May 2009, blogbuster wrote:
"Cinderella"?, I thought you said "skin a fella".

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466. At 12:33pm on 08 May 2009, ManxDave57 wrote:
Gunther von Hagens re-enacts the famous Mirror Dance from the Vicar of Dibley.

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467. At 12:34pm on 08 May 2009, mikehaz90 wrote:
NO NO NO, You've got it all wrong! it's step, pivot, spin!

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468. At 12:39pm on 08 May 2009, captioncorelli wrote:
Producers regret choice of makeover expert for German version of how to look good naked.

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469. At 12:42pm on 08 May 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
While the wife was off looking for slipcovers, Gunther realises he's found the perfect home furnishings gift for their anniversary.

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470. At 12:44pm on 08 May 2009, billcam wrote:
Any veggies in the audience?
Come back after the break, Ill be peeling a carrot!

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471. At 12:50pm on 08 May 2009, Spockter wrote:
Arnold Schwarzenegger thought "Plastinator - Rise of the Dancers" was maybe one cyborg film too far

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472. At 12:56pm on 08 May 2009, RMutt-Urinal wrote:
A dreadful misunderstanding. Gunter showed off his exhibit to a spectator claiming that it was 'the dogs' and moments later Fido was tucking into a lunchtime snack.

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473. At 1:00pm on 08 May 2009, iwishidthoughtofthat wrote:
I've got Gu under my skin...

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474. At 1:11pm on 08 May 2009, captioncorelli wrote:
Amanda Holden "We weren't expecting that"
Simon Cowell "Gunther, it's to unearth special talent like you that we visit Germany"
Piers Morgan "I tell you what, everyone was laughing here when you came out, they're not laughing now"

Demi Moore "That made me teary"

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475. At 1:13pm on 08 May 2009, haggis1876 wrote:
After lying,Pinochio found the punishment for stealing was much,much worse.

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476. At 1:13pm on 08 May 2009, Dazzyv wrote:
Typical, I get the ultimate come dancing dead heat!

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477. At 1:15pm on 08 May 2009, iwishidthoughtofthat wrote:
Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!

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478. At 1:17pm on 08 May 2009, Jordan D wrote:
Abba - The Musical. The revival.

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479. At 1:26pm on 08 May 2009, U13953667 wrote:
Gunther van Hagens, disputing Erectile Dysfunction rumours, falls foul of medical ethics rules.

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480. At 1:32pm on 08 May 2009, seniorscrew wrote:
The Cast of 'Oliver' had been working far too hard...............

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481. At 1:33pm on 08 May 2009, haveronjones wrote:
When he tried on his new suit for the first time, Spiderman was forced to admit that his ability to stick to plate glass windows was undiminished - but he couldn't be entirely happy with his tailor's decision to abandon lycra in favour of streaky bacon

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482. At 1:42pm on 08 May 2009, supermatt6000 wrote:
Coming up next on 5ive, "The World's Worst Circumcision Surgeon"

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483. At 1:44pm on 08 May 2009, supermatt6000 wrote:
After last year's pole dancing kit, Tesco's new range was set to become even more controversial.

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484. At 1:48pm on 08 May 2009, CJSAIDIT wrote:
The gorilla stuck me to him to get me back for shrinking him.

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485. At 1:48pm on 08 May 2009, supermatt6000 wrote:
Well Stephen, you'll be pleased to see that we removed the horse. Unfortunately there were complications, but we're confident the Queen won't notice.

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486. At 1:49pm on 08 May 2009, CJSAIDIT wrote:
Is my new range of belt buckles too big? I am having trouble getting through zee doors.

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487. At 1:49pm on 08 May 2009, CJSAIDIT wrote:
Look no Hanns

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488. At 1:51pm on 08 May 2009, FrankGrimesJnr wrote:
"This HD TV Channel does nothing for my complexion, Gunther."

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489. At 1:53pm on 08 May 2009, SundayParkGeorge wrote:
Plasticine Man beats Gunther's valiant effort to grab the bride's bouquet

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490. At 1:55pm on 08 May 2009, SundayParkGeorge wrote:
Statue of Joey Barton after Alan Shearer's post-match talk is revealed in Newcastle

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491. At 1:55pm on 08 May 2009, safegraham wrote:
Sponsorship of the arts was still doing well, but Mr. Muscle had wished for more polishing and less dancing.

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492. At 1:58pm on 08 May 2009, youngWillz wrote:
"And we are pleased to tell you that your pitch for the film version of Randall & Hopkirk (Deceased) has been successful"

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