Caption Competition

14:09 UK time, Friday, 24 April 2009

Winning entries in the caption competition.

The competition is now closed. Full rules can be seen here [PDF].

This week, a Bafta staffer works out the seating plan for Sunday's gongfest, the British Academy Television Awards. But what's being said?

Thanks to all who entered. The prize of a small amount of kudos to the following:

6. youngWillz
"Compulsory redundancies to the front, yeah?"

5. fazman1977
Lorraine thought taking part in "Celebrity Guess Who" would have been less back-breaking work.

4. SeanieSmith
"I'm afraid I'll have to stop you there Ms Winslet - I'm about to lock up for the night."

3. Rob Falconer
After the tip-up seats' springs were tragically set to maximum, most of the celebrities were never the same again.

2. ValerieGanne
The revamped shooting gallery was very popular.

1. Stephen, Leader of STROP
An Audience with Jim Davidson was not going quite to plan...

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Comments

1. At 12:37pm on 23 Apr 2009, penny-farthing wrote:
Musical chairs? You aint seen nothing yet!

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2. At 12:38pm on 23 Apr 2009, ValerieGanne wrote:
Nobody accepted our invitations, but some of these are so wooden, nobody'll notice

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3. At 12:38pm on 23 Apr 2009, ValerieGanne wrote:
BAFTA's getting DAFTA

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4. At 12:39pm on 23 Apr 2009, sternpaddler wrote:
I blame it on these new fangled flat screen TVs

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5. At 12:39pm on 23 Apr 2009, ValerieGanne wrote:
The revamped shooting gallery was very popular

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6. At 12:41pm on 23 Apr 2009, ValerieGanne wrote:
Don't worry - the computer whizz-kids will make this look like a real audience

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7. At 12:41pm on 23 Apr 2009, sternpaddler wrote:
Who's the inflated one?

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8. At 12:41pm on 23 Apr 2009, Pendle_Witch wrote:
"It was Patsy Kensit in the bathroom with the candlestick."

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9. At 12:41pm on 23 Apr 2009, SurfingSharka wrote:
Work began on the world's largest game of Guess Who

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10. At 12:42pm on 23 Apr 2009, PendragonF wrote:
Everybody sitting near Jonathan Ross was provided with a fan

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11. At 12:43pm on 23 Apr 2009, Wimpwob wrote:
Are you sure you want to Andrew Sachs here instead?

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12. At 12:44pm on 23 Apr 2009, PendragonF wrote:
"An Evening with Fred Goodwin" looked like being very popular

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13. At 12:45pm on 23 Apr 2009, PendragonF wrote:
And there's a photograph of a red carpet in the foyer

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14. At 12:46pm on 23 Apr 2009, Shedsey wrote:
Roll up, Roll up. Come and take a chance, knock three down and win a goldfish!!
£1 for five balls roll up, roll up.

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15. At 12:46pm on 23 Apr 2009, PaulAHarris1973 wrote:
Blimey these celebs look even thinner in real life!

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16. At 12:47pm on 23 Apr 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
The silent auction was about to begin

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17. At 12:47pm on 23 Apr 2009, PendragonF wrote:
Until the infestation could be sorted out, everybody was provided with swatters

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18. At 12:49pm on 23 Apr 2009, SpringChicky wrote:
Suzie knew that the credit crunch was biting everywhere, but weren't people going to notice?

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19. At 12:49pm on 23 Apr 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
CEO's dream board meeting

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20. At 12:49pm on 23 Apr 2009, pillingworth wrote:
The credit crunch hits the Baftas.

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21. At 12:49pm on 23 Apr 2009, Kudosless wrote:

With falling standards of literacy, it's the only way that some of this lot can find their seat

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22. At 12:50pm on 23 Apr 2009, wotnocaptioncomp wrote:
I really want to sit him next to Rennee Russo, or Roger Rabbit, but they're not coming this year...

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23. At 12:51pm on 23 Apr 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
Is there anybody out there?

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24. At 12:51pm on 23 Apr 2009, bampot-bob wrote:
If only they are this well behaved and quiet on the night!

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25. At 12:51pm on 23 Apr 2009, SpringChicky wrote:
Preparations were being made for the long anticipated announcement that "The Woodentops" was making a comeback....

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26. At 12:51pm on 23 Apr 2009, Rob Falconer wrote:
With the price of cinema seats these days, nobody could afford to attend

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27. At 12:52pm on 23 Apr 2009, firstjohnsark wrote:
Definition of celebrity:-

Two dimensional, stick thin, big headed.

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28. At 12:52pm on 23 Apr 2009, Kudosless wrote:

Pics on sticks of a bunch of prformers

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29. At 12:53pm on 23 Apr 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
And what do you have to trade for her?

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30. At 12:53pm on 23 Apr 2009, Rob Falconer wrote:
After the tip-up seats' springs were tragically set to maximum, most of the celebrities were never the same again

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31. At 12:53pm on 23 Apr 2009, SpringChicky wrote:
Clare was mortified that she'd been spotted doing the "this-one's-too-expensive-now" manouvre.....

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32. At 12:54pm on 23 Apr 2009, markypolo wrote:
At Equity's annual convention, a group of top celebrities vehemently denied rumours that that are two dimentional.

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33. At 12:55pm on 23 Apr 2009, Rob Falconer wrote:
The G20 demonstrators' placards had been recycled and put to good use

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34. At 12:55pm on 23 Apr 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
Cynthia just couldn't shake the feeling she was being watched

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35. At 12:55pm on 23 Apr 2009, MJR wrote:
So @StephenFry had asked to us just leave his iPhone placed between @Wossy and @Dot?

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36. At 12:55pm on 23 Apr 2009, lpoc2205 wrote:
Desperate for friends, she decided to improvise.

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37. At 12:56pm on 23 Apr 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
Quick, take my picture with her

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38. At 12:56pm on 23 Apr 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
Go fish

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39. At 12:57pm on 23 Apr 2009, Rob Falconer wrote:
No celebrities turned up after a financial shortfall meant the BAFTA's were held in the Regal Cinema in Heckmondwike

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40. At 12:57pm on 23 Apr 2009, SpringChicky wrote:
The "Pick the Celebrity You've Heard Of" competition was off to a flying start...

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41. At 12:57pm on 23 Apr 2009, Kudosless wrote:

Patsy Kensit here

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42. At 12:58pm on 23 Apr 2009, Stevomasch wrote:
"lets remove Dot from this scene, save on her royalties"

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43. At 12:59pm on 23 Apr 2009, Magnum Carter wrote:
"Can you picture it?"

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44. At 12:59pm on 23 Apr 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
"And I expect you to have all of them memorised by tea time."

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45. At 12:59pm on 23 Apr 2009, mfaulkner wrote:
From this range it was reckoned that June Brown could still get Graham Norton in the back of the head with the popcorn.

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46. At 1:00pm on 23 Apr 2009, Candid96 wrote:
In between rehersals, the cast indulge in a giant game of Guess Who

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47. At 1:00pm on 23 Apr 2009, ImperialEnergy wrote:
The search for the next Apprentice...Continues...

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48. At 1:01pm on 23 Apr 2009, Magnum Carter wrote:
I'm a celebrity. I have got out of here.

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49. At 1:01pm on 23 Apr 2009, MuteJoe wrote:
Is yours wearing glasses?

Yes

Does yours have brown hair?

No

Does Your have a hat?

Yes

Is yours Maureen?

...

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50. At 1:01pm on 23 Apr 2009, Rob Falconer wrote:
Sogood Sofas try to disguise the fact that all their seats are exactly the same by giving them celebrity names

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51. At 1:03pm on 23 Apr 2009, Rob Falconer wrote:
Some of the celebriites were so unintelligent they had to be told to remove the sticks before sitting down

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52. At 1:03pm on 23 Apr 2009, Rob Falconer wrote:
The game of battleships was much more fun when you could sink celebrities you loathed

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53. At 1:03pm on 23 Apr 2009, Magnum Carter wrote:
Celebrity Squares suffers from quantity over quality.

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54. At 1:04pm on 23 Apr 2009, rogueslr wrote:
And at the latest Equity AGM we once again accept apologies from 'absent friends'.

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55. At 1:04pm on 23 Apr 2009, mpburtt wrote:
Sally hopes that, even with the auditorium half empty, those on the stage won't notcie that none of the guests have actually turned up.

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56. At 1:04pm on 23 Apr 2009, Rob Falconer wrote:
Woss up, Dot?

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57. At 1:04pm on 23 Apr 2009, MrSnoozy wrote:
I'm not sure about this. Has Dot Cotton got any grand children Jonathon Woss can make comments about?

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58. At 1:05pm on 23 Apr 2009, Rob Falconer wrote:
There was just no future in these Agincourt reunions

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59. At 1:06pm on 23 Apr 2009, redbyname wrote:
"And, to further cut costs, the winners will be posted a photograph of a trophy."

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60. At 1:06pm on 23 Apr 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
DIY flash mob

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61. At 1:06pm on 23 Apr 2009, SteeleHawker wrote:
Deirdre had told them that it wasn't a good idea holding the BAFTA's on the same night at "Britain's Got Talent"

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62. At 1:07pm on 23 Apr 2009, rogueslr wrote:
These run throughs ensured there wouldn't be the unpleasantness of previous years, when Jimmy Krankie was placed next to Gary Glitter.

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63. At 1:09pm on 23 Apr 2009, Kudosless wrote:

Following Patsy's divorce from Jim, June Brown now next to one Kerr.

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64. At 1:09pm on 23 Apr 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
Too many brunettes in this row I'm afraid

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65. At 1:09pm on 23 Apr 2009, rogueslr wrote:
Unofficially she was known as 'Chairman of the Bored'.

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66. At 1:10pm on 23 Apr 2009, Skiron wrote:
The BBC have come up with a cunning plan to ensure no untoward remarks are made during live shows.

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67. At 1:10pm on 23 Apr 2009, Stephen, Leader of STROP wrote:
"An audience with Jim Davidson" was not going quite to plan

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68. At 1:11pm on 23 Apr 2009, MrSnoozy wrote:
Stop! We'll have to start again and put all the short people at the back. Have you seen how low the ceiling is back there?

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69. At 1:11pm on 23 Apr 2009, Northern_Simon wrote:
On board the ship that launched a thousand faces....

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70. At 1:12pm on 23 Apr 2009, Kudosless wrote:

"Well, would they turn up if we offer a daily allowance?"

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71. At 1:12pm on 23 Apr 2009, MJR wrote:
Hogwarts stages BAFTA's

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72. At 1:12pm on 23 Apr 2009, redbyname wrote:
Davina McCall's appearance on the second row is sponsored by Garnier Nutrisse.

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73. At 1:13pm on 23 Apr 2009, Tom-K-Hawkey wrote:
...and the pack says that with enough sunlight and water, a beautiful crop of celebraties should grow

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74. At 1:14pm on 23 Apr 2009, SimonRooke wrote:
This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the House Rules.
75. At 1:14pm on 23 Apr 2009, SteeleHawker wrote:
The Cannes Jury? No, this is the canned jury.

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76. At 1:14pm on 23 Apr 2009, SteeleHawker wrote:
A hung jury? No, but most of this lot should be.

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77. At 1:14pm on 23 Apr 2009, NorthernPunk wrote:
As a fan of Fawlty Towers, Dot Cotton could stand being next to Jonathan Ross any longer

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78. At 1:16pm on 23 Apr 2009, NorthernPunk wrote:
"Im sure the lad behind me just grabbed my......"

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79. At 1:16pm on 23 Apr 2009, SteeleHawker wrote:
The fans were provided in case Jonathan Ross started sounding his r's

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80. At 1:17pm on 23 Apr 2009, SteeleHawker wrote:
The deadly plague, which only affected minor celebrities, was beginning to have an effect

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81. At 1:17pm on 23 Apr 2009, NorthernPunk wrote:
"As their inflated egos wouldn't fit in the room, this was the best solution for the British Television Awards"

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82. At 1:19pm on 23 Apr 2009, sternpaddler wrote:
Pick me...Pick Me

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83. At 1:19pm on 23 Apr 2009, SteeleHawker wrote:
BAFTA regretted organising the event south of the river after 11.00 p.m. without laying on special cabs

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84. At 1:20pm on 23 Apr 2009, paulbarratt1 wrote:
Jenny was beginning to think she misunderstood the interviewer when he said she would 'handle high profile celebrities'

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85. At 1:21pm on 23 Apr 2009, SteeleHawker wrote:
Due to a misprint on the secretary's instructions, the invitations had not been sent out to minor celebrities, but to famous colliers

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86. At 1:21pm on 23 Apr 2009, Magnum Carter wrote:
"And hosting tonight's awards ladies and gentlemen...well, lets just say he's a real card...."

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87. At 1:21pm on 23 Apr 2009, SteeleHawker wrote:
This was going to be some speed-dating evening

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88. At 1:22pm on 23 Apr 2009, presto_west_end wrote:
"Don't blame me, its the alphabet that put Sachs next to Ross"

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89. At 1:23pm on 23 Apr 2009, Magnum Carter wrote:
Gives the term 'head shots' a whole meaning.

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90. At 1:23pm on 23 Apr 2009, peter68 wrote:
Jonathan Ross was said to be delighted that June Brown was to be sat next to him. '
How could I possibly upset that chain smoking, old trout?' he stated earlier today

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91. At 1:24pm on 23 Apr 2009, Helenepitpony wrote:
Now grown up, Carol was still working as the Test Card Girl.

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92. At 1:25pm on 23 Apr 2009, SteeleHawker wrote:
So many candidates standing for election was getting so confusing ...

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93. At 1:25pm on 23 Apr 2009, presto_west_end wrote:
This way, the permasmiles would shine through the disappointment of losing.

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94. At 1:25pm on 23 Apr 2009, crookers2009 wrote:
Right..so that's Alexa Chung next to Patsy Kensit, then Dot Cotton, Jonathan Ross.. What's that? Oh FEARNE Cotton?!

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95. At 1:27pm on 23 Apr 2009, SteeleHawker wrote:
Deirdre was in charge of ensuring that the seating arrangements guaranteed a good ratings-winning punch-up during the ceremony

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96. At 1:27pm on 23 Apr 2009, Nzie12 wrote:
Come on, darling, I need more pathos in this moment. Where's the drama?

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97. At 1:27pm on 23 Apr 2009, presto_west_end wrote:
"Who goes, YOU decide"

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98. At 1:28pm on 23 Apr 2009, peter68 wrote:
Celebrity Guess Who begins.

Question 1: Does your celebrity habitually date pop singers, smoke like a chimney or regularly offend anyone with a beating heart?

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99. At 1:28pm on 23 Apr 2009, Kazmasterflash wrote:
They weren't quite sure how Alistair Darling's Budget was going to go this year so they thought best take precations and guarantee a crowed!

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100. At 1:28pm on 23 Apr 2009, jammyrhona wrote:
Madam Tussauds admits times are hard...

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101. At 1:29pm on 23 Apr 2009, buddyboltonbb wrote:
This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the House Rules.
102. At 1:31pm on 23 Apr 2009, peter68 wrote:
Each vagrant got a nice night out, a facemask of a top celeb, and as much left overs as they could eat from the canteen

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103. At 1:32pm on 23 Apr 2009, presto_west_end wrote:
Daily Mail confirms satisfaction at Ross' head on a stick.

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104. At 1:32pm on 23 Apr 2009, Helenepitpony wrote:
"Victoria Beckham's seat? The one with just the stick."

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105. At 1:33pm on 23 Apr 2009, lavaboarder wrote:
Bafta awards response as the police force arrange cardboard cut-out policemen as security

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106. At 1:33pm on 23 Apr 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
When hiring yes men isn't suffcient

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107. At 1:34pm on 23 Apr 2009, SteeleHawker wrote:
Trish had got a copy of Hello Magazine, torn out all the pictures, and just scattered them around

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108. At 1:34pm on 23 Apr 2009, presto_west_end wrote:
The seating plan was developing nicely...

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109. At 1:34pm on 23 Apr 2009, Scotch-git wrote:
Why isn't Wussel Bwand weclining next to Woss?

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110. At 1:34pm on 23 Apr 2009, Helen_Gabriella wrote:
Celebrity dieting really is a serious problem

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111. At 1:35pm on 23 Apr 2009, Moggye wrote:
Anyone seen Mr Bun the Baker?

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112. At 1:36pm on 23 Apr 2009, SteeleHawker wrote:
Erica had this marvellous dream she was arranging the seating for dinner on the "Titanic"

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113. At 1:36pm on 23 Apr 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
Castaway II - Beyond Wilson

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114. At 1:36pm on 23 Apr 2009, peter68 wrote:
Even Jonathan Ross' photo was smarmy enough to sidle closer to the ravishing brunette

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115. At 1:36pm on 23 Apr 2009, SimonRooke wrote:
Err, Susan Boyle, hmm, somewhere in the back, Hounslow I think.

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116. At 1:37pm on 23 Apr 2009, presto_west_end wrote:
The seats were extra-cushioned this year for those celebrities with polaroids.

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117. At 1:40pm on 23 Apr 2009, peter68 wrote:
Robert Webb enjoyed looking at Emily's bottom, even though he was in fact a photographic image

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118. At 1:42pm on 23 Apr 2009, iamthenewno2 wrote:
No one could quite put their finger on why shooting range membership had doubled.

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119. At 1:43pm on 23 Apr 2009, Maggiemaynotbe wrote:
drawing pins, tin tacks, superglue...

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120. At 1:43pm on 23 Apr 2009, nick_fowler wrote:
Perhaps it had not been a good idea to ask Lowry to organise the seating

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121. At 1:45pm on 23 Apr 2009, teazeldad wrote:
Secure in the knowledge he hadn't been spotted, the Giant Celebrity Eating Transformer Robot settled down at the back of the room to wait. For dinner

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122. At 1:45pm on 23 Apr 2009, Magnum Carter wrote:
"....face like a barn door..."

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123. At 1:46pm on 23 Apr 2009, peter68 wrote:
You wanted Ross' head on a stick, so to remain pc.....

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124. At 1:46pm on 23 Apr 2009, j-o-n-a-t-h-a-n wrote:
No no, A-List at the front, these lot can stand at the back of the theatre.

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125. At 1:47pm on 23 Apr 2009, SimonRooke wrote:
Guess who got a photo printer and laminator for their birthday?

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126. At 1:48pm on 23 Apr 2009, nick_fowler wrote:
After problems in previous years, this year BAFTA had asked the Archbishop of Canterbury to compere

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127. At 1:49pm on 23 Apr 2009, j-o-n-a-t-h-a-n wrote:
Shouldn't take long for the 'one' to beat the 'one-hundred' this week.

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128. At 1:50pm on 23 Apr 2009, LaurenceLane wrote:
Stephen Hawking? Over there near the power socket.

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129. At 1:50pm on 23 Apr 2009, nick_fowler wrote:
Carole had to help one midget hold up his placard

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130. At 1:52pm on 23 Apr 2009, archstinker wrote:

got, got, not got, got, got, not got....

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131. At 1:52pm on 23 Apr 2009, youngWillz wrote:
"Compulsory redundancies to the front, yeah?"

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132. At 1:52pm on 23 Apr 2009, LaurenceLane wrote:
All the beautiful people would be there, and June Brown.

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133. At 1:52pm on 23 Apr 2009, nick_fowler wrote:
It was nice to see the retuen of the Saturday morning children's matinees, but Shirley wished they'd provided seat boosters

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134. At 1:53pm on 23 Apr 2009, youngWillz wrote:
"It'll be a giggle listening to Jonathan discussing June's 'Honorary' Fellowship all night..."

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135. At 1:53pm on 23 Apr 2009, Spockter wrote:
Facebook goes 3D

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136. At 1:54pm on 23 Apr 2009, nick_fowler wrote:
The House of Commons would soon be full of celebrities waiting to hear what the income tax increase would be for higher earners

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137. At 1:55pm on 23 Apr 2009, PoacheLeRen wrote:
ITV budget cuts hit "An Audience With Lionel Blair"

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138. At 1:55pm on 23 Apr 2009, jtotheglo wrote:
After hearing of his reputation, June Brown promptly decided to change seats.

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139. At 1:56pm on 23 Apr 2009, peter68 wrote:
'And our special guest from No 10 is Gordon Brown, the Prime Minister.'

'Oh, I see why June was so excited when I said she'd be sat next to Ross and Kensit, usually it's Roly the dog and Gillian Taylforth'

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140. At 1:58pm on 23 Apr 2009, j-o-n-a-t-h-a-n wrote:
Why is Michael Jackson the only one made out of plastic?

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141. At 1:59pm on 23 Apr 2009, jtotheglo wrote:
Barbara Windsor? This is your Life!

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142. At 2:00pm on 23 Apr 2009, peter68 wrote:
Tracy Emin's latest work 'Making stupid arty types pay me lots of money for absolute junk, that I thought up whilst down the pub last night', went on display today

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143. At 2:00pm on 23 Apr 2009, snoozoff wrote:
damn, another one without a wallet!

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144. At 2:01pm on 23 Apr 2009, bmerren wrote:
This years BAFTAs were sponsored by IKEA

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145. At 2:01pm on 23 Apr 2009, snoozoff wrote:
national gathering of the slimmers of the year competition

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146. At 2:02pm on 23 Apr 2009, StressMuffin wrote:
Rhiannon made the final preperations for the World Championship finals of "Giant Celebrity Guess Who"

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147. At 2:02pm on 23 Apr 2009, LaurenceLane wrote:
Tonight's event is sponsored by Kodak and Canes 'R' Us.

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148. At 2:03pm on 23 Apr 2009, supermatt6000 wrote:
No-one batted an eyelid as Susan made off with the decoy Anne Widdecombe.

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149. At 2:04pm on 23 Apr 2009, Kitwemiller wrote:
As long as the camera doesn't pan round, no-one will notice only a few RSVP'ed.

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150. At 2:05pm on 23 Apr 2009, youngWillz wrote:
"They said some day my prints would come.."

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151. At 2:06pm on 23 Apr 2009, robmoo wrote:
'Have they got a white coat on? Gah, I swear "Guess Who?" never used to be this big...'

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152. At 2:06pm on 23 Apr 2009, supermatt6000 wrote:
One Wocket lolly coming up. That'll be 69 pence please.

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153. At 2:06pm on 23 Apr 2009, LaurenceLane wrote:
The film crew, on the night, were to be sub contracted from Google Street View which meant all faces were going to be blurred. Only Katie Price was sure to be still recognisable.

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154. At 2:07pm on 23 Apr 2009, youngWillz wrote:
BAFTA produces own set of "Most Wanted" playing cards

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155. At 2:08pm on 23 Apr 2009, youngWillz wrote:
Celeb stalker adds the finishing touches to her lounge for awards night....

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156. At 2:09pm on 23 Apr 2009, j-o-n-a-t-h-a-n wrote:
That's it, ITV & Channel 4 celebs at the back, BBC celebs at the front, and we're sure to be the Caption Competition photo this week.

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157. At 2:09pm on 23 Apr 2009, nick_fowler wrote:
The celebrity gladioli were all ready for "An Evening with Dame Edna"

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158. At 2:09pm on 23 Apr 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
Boycott? No problem, we've got a Plan B...

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159. At 2:11pm on 23 Apr 2009, supermatt6000 wrote:
Mrs. Lucas began positioning the cast for the next scene of 'Star' Wars II.

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160. At 2:14pm on 23 Apr 2009, youngWillz wrote:
A Night Out At The Pictures

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161. At 2:15pm on 23 Apr 2009, Helenepitpony wrote:
You hadn't made it until you were featured on Google Seat View.

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162. At 2:18pm on 23 Apr 2009, nick_fowler wrote:
Questions were being asked as to where the kebab shop was sourcing its meat

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163. At 2:21pm on 23 Apr 2009, nick_fowler wrote:
Gloria had made sure they had a high chair all ready for Ronnie Corbett

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164. At 2:22pm on 23 Apr 2009, nick_fowler wrote:
Ruth had cut the pictures out of "Jane's Fighting Celebrities"

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165. At 2:24pm on 23 Apr 2009, nick_fowler wrote:
BAFTA had started putting pictures on the sticks ever since Stephen Fry had impaled himself in 2005

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166. At 2:24pm on 23 Apr 2009, penny-farthing wrote:
As the performer later remarked,they were a bit of a quiet crowd.

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167. At 2:26pm on 23 Apr 2009, nicecolbart wrote:
June Brown too expensive to appear in Eastenders, and now BAFTA.

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168. At 2:27pm on 23 Apr 2009, Magnum Carter wrote:
For once it wasn't the singing that was flat

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169. At 2:27pm on 23 Apr 2009, nicecolbart wrote:
They already blew over twice, leave the bl***** door CLOSED.

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170. At 2:29pm on 23 Apr 2009, Magnum Carter wrote:
With the initial phase completed, Julie proceeded with the 234 'Kick Me' photocopies.

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171. At 2:30pm on 23 Apr 2009, Richard_SM wrote:

Post #49 gets my vote. Hilarious.

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172. At 2:35pm on 23 Apr 2009, leenewham wrote:
Models wear celebrity masks for awards ceremony.

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173. At 2:39pm on 23 Apr 2009, penny-farthing wrote:
Facebook the Movie....in theatres now!

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174. At 2:40pm on 23 Apr 2009, alliebobz wrote:
"Tell the banker no deal Noel, I'm playing a system and I choose Dot next."

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175. At 2:41pm on 23 Apr 2009, supermatt6000 wrote:
Here's the plan, Prime Minister. When Fearne Cotton speaks, the hot air will turn the turbines, generating enough electricity for every household until 2010.

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176. At 2:43pm on 23 Apr 2009, CODEXWARRIOR wrote:
ROLL UP! ROLL UP! Coconuts - 3 for a quid!

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177. At 2:48pm on 23 Apr 2009, MJF_dodo wrote:
Please Keep Off The Celebrity

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178. At 2:49pm on 23 Apr 2009, Kudosless wrote:

These people aren't coming - but we haven't got four pictures of Dawn French

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179. At 2:53pm on 23 Apr 2009, Kudosless wrote:

F in Bafta Televison Awards found to be unnecessary

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180. At 2:53pm on 23 Apr 2009, penny-farthing wrote:
A nasty disturbance broke out when one difficult individual was placed behind a "long-sticker".

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181. At 2:54pm on 23 Apr 2009, Stellsie wrote:
Wilhelmina found working from home rather lonely

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182. At 2:55pm on 23 Apr 2009, Blondecoluk wrote:
BBC tests new variant of 'virtuality' technology

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183. At 2:55pm on 23 Apr 2009, generalhague wrote:
"With the lights down and some canned laughter, we might just get away with it".................the producer remains optimistic that the TV audience won't twig.

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184. At 2:58pm on 23 Apr 2009, Helenepitpony wrote:
"The irony is that the Bafta is going to You've Been Framed."

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185. At 2:59pm on 23 Apr 2009, lavaboarder wrote:
The British national space centre unveil the latest experiment in smugness drive technology

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186. At 3:03pm on 23 Apr 2009, penny-farthing wrote:
You know you've made it when you become a face on a stick.

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187. At 3:03pm on 23 Apr 2009, danamies wrote:
She's DEFINITELY not got any granddaughters?

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188. At 3:05pm on 23 Apr 2009, PennyDrop wrote:
Mmm, June Brown might become collateral damage it's true...

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189. At 3:06pm on 23 Apr 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
Air hostess training was not going well for Cynthia.

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190. At 3:08pm on 23 Apr 2009, penny-farthing wrote:
When Jill had been told she'd be a "staffer" she hadn't appreciated how literally that had been meant.

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191. At 3:08pm on 23 Apr 2009, grazvalentine wrote:
In the days before 3D cinema...

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192. At 3:12pm on 23 Apr 2009, Vicky S wrote:
Even after an ID parade they were never really sure of the Stig's true identity.

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193. At 3:14pm on 23 Apr 2009, Vicky S wrote:
It was possibly the toughest challenge the Apprentice candidates would ever face......

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194. At 3:15pm on 23 Apr 2009, Vicky S wrote:
"No dear, Mr Ross has two seats, remember his ego goes everywhere with him ."

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195. At 3:16pm on 23 Apr 2009, rego77660 wrote:
BAFTA organisers fear a very small audience as the list of "Unfortunately cannot be here" guests increases by the minute

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196. At 3:16pm on 23 Apr 2009, grazvalentine wrote:
That's all the vegetables planted then.

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197. At 3:16pm on 23 Apr 2009, kchybalski wrote:
Just as she had finished getting the Guess Who? tournament ready, Cathy realised she'd forgotten someone

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198. At 3:17pm on 23 Apr 2009, Vicky S wrote:
To revive interest in politics Alistair invented the celebrity shortlist.

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199. At 3:19pm on 23 Apr 2009, rego77660 wrote:
Bums on seats!

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200. At 3:20pm on 23 Apr 2009, Vicky S wrote:
Fortunately all the photographs had names on.

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201. At 3:21pm on 23 Apr 2009, SussexGeezer wrote:
"I'm a celebrity polaroid get me out of here!"

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202. At 3:23pm on 23 Apr 2009, SussexGeezer wrote:
"Oh my gawd, at least it ain't our Nick"

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203. At 3:23pm on 23 Apr 2009, rego77660 wrote:
Depsite the budget announcement, Rossy still manages a smile.

After all, 50% of a few million, is still a few million!

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204. At 3:27pm on 23 Apr 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
It was the worst case of multiple personality disorder the good doctor had ever sought to explain and document.

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205. At 3:37pm on 23 Apr 2009, felixmul wrote:
Upon approximate attendance figures being grossly over estimated, emergency measures were being taken.

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206. At 3:37pm on 23 Apr 2009, nick_fowler wrote:
If anybody else boycotted the UN conference on racism, there'd be nobody left

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207. At 3:39pm on 23 Apr 2009, erobed2 wrote:
Russell Brand to go here instead? Are you insane!?

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208. At 3:46pm on 23 Apr 2009, erobed2 wrote:
"And why did you laminate the pictures?"
"well, most celebs are so plastic anyway I thought it would bring about a better resemblance..."

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209. At 3:54pm on 23 Apr 2009, SimonRooke wrote:
The launch of 'Top Trumps, Minor Celebrities' was going to be a glittering affair.

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210. At 3:57pm on 23 Apr 2009, penny-farthing wrote:
I dunno about this lot......they seem a bit stuck-up.

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211. At 3:59pm on 23 Apr 2009, nick_fowler wrote:
If Deirdre had been concentrating more when she laminated the picture of June Brown, she might not have got her hair stuck in it

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212. At 4:01pm on 23 Apr 2009, nick_fowler wrote:
Cloning laboratory uses the same labelling techniques as gardeners

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213. At 4:02pm on 23 Apr 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
If you place them they will come...

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214. At 4:03pm on 23 Apr 2009, nick_fowler wrote:
Diane checked, and was pleased to report that every one of her celebrity arrows had hit its target

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215. At 4:05pm on 23 Apr 2009, Fauconnier wrote:
Kate smiled as she added the latest picture to her collection - soon her evil plan would be fulfilled and she would be the most famous celebrity in the land

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216. At 4:06pm on 23 Apr 2009, justfor wrote:
"Oh, I thought everybody knew."

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217. At 4:06pm on 23 Apr 2009, WilfHilton wrote:
Victoria Beckham lookalike contest?

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218. At 4:07pm on 23 Apr 2009, Fauconnier wrote:
After a rash of jokes in the media about short people, protestors were out in force

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219. At 4:08pm on 23 Apr 2009, Shedsey wrote:
"It is going to be freezing in here come the show without all the hot air this lot would have made, might have to keep me cardi on!"

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220. At 4:09pm on 23 Apr 2009, Fauconnier wrote:
The cards had to have names and photographs, as Karen didn't know most of BAFTA's A-list celebritiies

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221. At 4:14pm on 23 Apr 2009, SimonRooke wrote:
We can now reveal the secret selection process behind the BAFTA awards, and also the Guiness Record attempt at the largest game of 'Eeney, Meeney, Miney, Moe'.

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222. At 4:18pm on 23 Apr 2009, DougieLawson wrote:
Note to self: Mustn't have Andrew Sachs anywhere near Wossy or Brand.

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223. At 4:18pm on 23 Apr 2009, BrianBlaze wrote:
'I don't care if it is a recession Tim, they'll still know that all these people aren't really here when they're watching at home...'

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224. At 4:18pm on 23 Apr 2009, devlin101 wrote:
Angela suddenly realised that using cardboard celebrities wasn't going to fool Alan; she'd be fired this week for sure!

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225. At 4:19pm on 23 Apr 2009, supermatt6000 wrote:
Having forgotten her trusty bag of sand and with the walls closing around her, Sandra cursed the day that she had agreed to cover for Harrison Ford.

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226. At 4:20pm on 23 Apr 2009, pmullark wrote:
The credit crunch hits Madam Tussauds.

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227. At 4:20pm on 23 Apr 2009, MJF_dodo wrote:
"I'm just placing the picture on the shortest straw next to Ross."

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228. At 4:22pm on 23 Apr 2009, honesthulley wrote:
"And at a union meeting of the Dwarf placard carriers,guess who forgot to bring the seat ladder."

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229. At 4:22pm on 23 Apr 2009, supasupermam wrote:
After the budget, BAFTA thought video conferencing might be the way to go.

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230. At 4:23pm on 23 Apr 2009, supermatt6000 wrote:
Sandra tried to move, but it was too late. The Russel Brand card had already struck.

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231. At 4:26pm on 23 Apr 2009, peterstagg wrote:
How labour boosted support and stopped heckling a tthe 2009 conference

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232. At 4:31pm on 23 Apr 2009, akennedy13 wrote:
Finally, they had found an audience that wouldn't heckle Russell Brand..

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233. At 4:32pm on 23 Apr 2009, akennedy13 wrote:
Michael Jackson had found a way to ensure he filled the 02 arena every night..

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234. At 4:43pm on 23 Apr 2009, Fauconnier wrote:
It's all set up, Mr. Attenborough. If you'd like to tip over the first domino ...

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235. At 4:46pm on 23 Apr 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
No, not here, Diane. We're having it in the room next door.

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236. At 4:47pm on 23 Apr 2009, sl4dude wrote:
ok... i dont think theyve spotted me...

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237. At 4:49pm on 23 Apr 2009, grumpyoneuk wrote:
Organisers were pleased with the attendance at the inaugural Facebook convention

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238. At 4:50pm on 23 Apr 2009, Fauconnier wrote:
Katie sets out the targets for her trained pigeons

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239. At 4:54pm on 23 Apr 2009, littleDickie wrote:
"It could have been less expensive to just write the blasted names, with a big M or an F
on the back...you know.
Gawd, I cannot believe the extremes we have to go to..."

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240. At 4:55pm on 23 Apr 2009, 25_and_no_hope wrote:
Midgets show their support for their favourite actors.

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241. At 5:01pm on 23 Apr 2009, lemonzilla wrote:
OK Mr Sachs.... just remember, 50 points if you clip the edge, 200 on the nose, and that shotgun tends to pull up and to the right.....

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242. At 5:04pm on 23 Apr 2009, Speedingmal wrote:
Cue Pictures

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243. At 5:04pm on 23 Apr 2009, lemonzilla wrote:
"You know, Ms Brown - for another £20 I could have sat you next to David Tenant....."

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244. At 5:12pm on 23 Apr 2009, Fauconnier wrote:
The audience looks up expectantly as Stephen Hawking apologises for the fact that his miniaturisation ray-gun was accidentaly fired during the BAFTA rehearsals

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245. At 5:22pm on 23 Apr 2009, Fauconnier wrote:
As usual, everybody was protesting against Jonathan Ross, but there was only one photograph of him in the magazine ...

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246. At 5:24pm on 23 Apr 2009, Izanagi wrote:
Woman: "You should see what's written on the back of these pictures!"

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247. At 5:32pm on 23 Apr 2009, MJF_dodo wrote:
Bafta staffer quickly adds June Brown to the seating arrangements after reading she was attending on lastminute.come

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248. At 5:41pm on 23 Apr 2009, justfor wrote:
"Are you sure you're not having me on?"

"Can none of these people read?"

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249. At 5:47pm on 23 Apr 2009, non_sum_qualis_eram wrote:
While discussing their tactics, 215 members of a group campaigning for better television programs were suddenly 'kettled' by the police.

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250. At 5:48pm on 23 Apr 2009, shadowphiar wrote:
I know that supermodels are thin these days, but I didn't expect Jonathan Ross to show up in a "size minus-five" outfit...

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251. At 5:55pm on 23 Apr 2009, DeeDuble wrote:
"Does she have a grandaughter?"

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252. At 5:57pm on 23 Apr 2009, Butteminer wrote:
Down in front!

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253. At 6:17pm on 23 Apr 2009, supermatt6000 wrote:
These aren't the miniature trouser presses we ordered!

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254. At 6:34pm on 23 Apr 2009, kingLexington wrote:
....and next to Jonathan Ross, with his nice new haircut, its Russell Brand.....

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255. At 6:43pm on 23 Apr 2009, Lloyd-Barnes wrote:
BAFTER`s nominations for the new Higher Rate Tax Award proved somewhat unpopular

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256. At 6:48pm on 23 Apr 2009, Satellite-Skin wrote:
well the camera does add 10 pounds... I don't reckon anyone will notice

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257. At 6:51pm on 23 Apr 2009, 10thwonder wrote:
Earth Day was a big success with most delegates staying home to reduce their carbon footprint.

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258. At 6:54pm on 23 Apr 2009, MJF_dodo wrote:
The cast from the new Star Trek movie are to arrive using the teleporter at the back of the hall.

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259. At 7:15pm on 23 Apr 2009, Dodie_James wrote:
Outside, Alistair Darling prepared to give his post budget explanation, with detailed background numbers..

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260. At 7:19pm on 23 Apr 2009, supermatt6000 wrote:
The British Museum just called. They said they want the REAL terracotta warriors back!

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261. At 7:23pm on 23 Apr 2009, supermatt6000 wrote:
1: Are you stealing Jonathan Ross?

2: No!

1: Oh yes you are!

All: Oh no she isn't!

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262. At 7:32pm on 23 Apr 2009, SimonRooke wrote:
Collectively they were to be known as the fifty percenters.

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263. At 7:35pm on 23 Apr 2009, Oaktowers- Paul Hart Out! wrote:
The placards are placed the last British Television Awards to be hosted in Britain. We come live next year from Switzerland!

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264. At 7:41pm on 23 Apr 2009, sarahtrieste wrote:
The Baftas felt a little flat this year.

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265. At 7:45pm on 23 Apr 2009, penny-farthing wrote:
Okay,you're coming with me........I've had enough of your stick!

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266. At 7:49pm on 23 Apr 2009, Dodie_James wrote:
New, from Date-A-Celebrity: Do you want to see the faces of your new celebrity friends? Yes? Then call 0978..

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267. At 7:49pm on 23 Apr 2009, Dodie_James wrote:
Gordon Brown insisted on another Celebrity get-together at No 10. Worried staff prepare..

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268. At 8:11pm on 23 Apr 2009, archyogi wrote:
With a record number of no-shows this year, BATFA were having to improvise: "Don't worry - no one will notice!"

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269. At 8:13pm on 23 Apr 2009, computerbullet wrote:
when she grew up, Alice hoped to have real friends to invite to her tea parties, but until then...

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270. At 8:13pm on 23 Apr 2009, archyogi wrote:
A staff member at the rapidly-expanding celebrity firing range was completely bemused: "Jonathan Ross, OK, but lovable Dot from Eastenders?"

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271. At 8:21pm on 23 Apr 2009, Vicky S wrote:
Google ensures that all images removed from Street View are given a good home.

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272. At 8:25pm on 23 Apr 2009, Vicky S wrote:
When Clarissa took the job with Max Clifford he promised her she'd soon be handling celebrities.

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273. At 8:27pm on 23 Apr 2009, Vicky S wrote:
"She'll have to go Penny, you know the rules, only one recognisable celebrity is allowed on each row."

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274. At 8:46pm on 23 Apr 2009, pompeyan wrote:
Guess Who?: Celebrity Edition

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275. At 8:51pm on 23 Apr 2009, Kitkat_Katy wrote:
I'm sure this was where everyone was sat when the music ended...

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276. At 9:09pm on 23 Apr 2009, Fauconnier wrote:
Scientists develop flat-screen LCD people

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277. At 9:12pm on 23 Apr 2009, sarahtrieste wrote:
What do you mean "alphabetical order....?"

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278. At 9:14pm on 23 Apr 2009, Fauconnier wrote:
There were plenty of candidates contesting the seat of Walford, in fact one for each constituent

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279. At 9:26pm on 23 Apr 2009, Fauconnier wrote:
Deirdre got a bit confused, and put the celebrities on sticks instead of the cheese and pineapple

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280. At 9:31pm on 23 Apr 2009, gwilymrj wrote:
Jonathan Ross can claim he was framed this time.

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281. At 9:45pm on 23 Apr 2009, samanthalodge wrote:
I want to be wiv my Jim!

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282. At 9:46pm on 23 Apr 2009, DLHCymru wrote:
Wonder if he'll phone her up and tell her what her grand-daughter's been up to!

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283. At 9:49pm on 23 Apr 2009, archicad wrote:
Yes ladies & gentlemen, this is the wolrlds first Celebs Cemetery, and yes nearly all the plots have been pre paid

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284. At 10:04pm on 23 Apr 2009, supermatt6000 wrote:
Cassandra the cleaning lady had chosen her ballroom mask and she was going to stick with it.

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285. At 10:06pm on 23 Apr 2009, chris84b wrote:
I wish I had real friends!

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286. At 10:29pm on 23 Apr 2009, UKTroll wrote:
I thought you said you wanted the best looking ones on the right!

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287. At 10:37pm on 23 Apr 2009, UKTroll wrote:
The cinema was determined to thwart attempts to make cheap pirate copies of the BAFTA ceremony.

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288. At 10:39pm on 23 Apr 2009, Hobbitmorley wrote:
Forestry, in the Celebrity Obsessed World.

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289. At 10:41pm on 23 Apr 2009, SteeleHawker wrote:
These celebrity seed packets are a damned good idea

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290. At 10:50pm on 23 Apr 2009, SteeleHawker wrote:
No, these aren't Police requests for help in finding missing persons - these are people we'd like to be missing

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291. At 11:35pm on 23 Apr 2009, TheRealCatherineO wrote:
The celebrity version of "Father and Son" missed the point somewhat.

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292. At 11:40pm on 23 Apr 2009, TheRealCatherineO wrote:
She asked to be moved next to the shabby-looking picture in row 168, that can't stop muttering, "'Ello Ma," ad infinitum...

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293. At 11:57pm on 23 Apr 2009, Dodie_James wrote:
After the budget it was clear things were bad - rationing had to come back..

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294. At 00:04am on 24 Apr 2009, flamehockeybaby wrote:
as unemployment rises, applicants who can't appear in person for interviews send in their "best shot"

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295. At 00:08am on 24 Apr 2009, mikehaz90 wrote:
I'm a fan of ALL these people on facebook

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296. At 00:08am on 24 Apr 2009, Vicky S wrote:
For her final assessment Alice put together a modern interpretation of Danté's Eighth Circle.

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297. At 00:10am on 24 Apr 2009, mikehaz90 wrote:
kiera knightley's body doubles were queuing up for auditions

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298. At 00:30am on 24 Apr 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
Flashcards and the overworked matchmaker

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299. At 00:33am on 24 Apr 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
Not the best of hiding places, Ms. Simmons

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300. At 00:41am on 24 Apr 2009, lynlyn1953 wrote:
" Are you quite sure it was this lady that mugged you of your packet of fags?"

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301. At 01:14am on 24 Apr 2009, littleDickie wrote:
"Is she behind seat seven or eleven then, as she is much taller in person?"

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302. At 01:15am on 24 Apr 2009, littleDickie wrote:
"I didn't see pictures of the Kudo's anywhere...!"

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303. At 01:23am on 24 Apr 2009, Andrew wrote:
"Does he have glasses..?"

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304. At 01:28am on 24 Apr 2009, emgebe wrote:
Cotton Candy!?...x

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305. At 02:59am on 24 Apr 2009, redalfa147 wrote:
Don't worry. With his eye-sight as it is and the canned laughter, Brucie will never notice.

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306. At 03:01am on 24 Apr 2009, redalfa147 wrote:
The process for choosing the recipient of the Lifetime Achievement Award is finally revealed.

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307. At 03:06am on 24 Apr 2009, redalfa147 wrote:
"An Audience with Bill Posters"

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308. At 03:21am on 24 Apr 2009, redalfa147 wrote:
If it's good enough for Arnie in the new Terminator film...

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309. At 03:24am on 24 Apr 2009, redalfa147 wrote:
The new 'BAFTA Audience' iPhone app was proving popular.

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310. At 03:47am on 24 Apr 2009, redalfa147 wrote:
Cheryl Baker was allowed to choose who sat where for 'An Audience with Bucks Fizz'.

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311. At 03:50am on 24 Apr 2009, redalfa147 wrote:
...and the winner of the BAFTA for best TV related trading game card goes to...

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312. At 04:54am on 24 Apr 2009, sarahtrieste wrote:
The BBC's "Gallery of Rogues" was growing.

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313. At 06:40am on 24 Apr 2009, nickson1 wrote:
.....are you sure the blow-up dolls are going to be here in time.

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314. At 06:47am on 24 Apr 2009, Leroyrampa23 wrote:
"Just swap this one for Georgina Baillie, stand back and light the blue touch-paper..."

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315. At 07:03am on 24 Apr 2009, rogueslr wrote:
99 celebrities were sitting in a hall
And if one celebrity should make a prank call
They'll be 98 celebrities sitting in the hall

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316. At 07:09am on 24 Apr 2009, rogueslr wrote:
There was a danger that when this much vacuity was gathered together, a black hole would be created. Tests continue...

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317. At 07:12am on 24 Apr 2009, rogueslr wrote:
I see dead people, dead boring people.

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318. At 07:50am on 24 Apr 2009, stuartwjcollins wrote:
"Do you think Parky will remember their names now"

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319. At 07:51am on 24 Apr 2009, stuartwjcollins wrote:
"I think the BBC cut backs have gone too far this time"

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320. At 07:53am on 24 Apr 2009, SeanieSmith wrote:
"I'm afraid I'll have to stop you there Ms Winslet - I'm about to lock up for the night."

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321. At 08:04am on 24 Apr 2009, woodi_333 wrote:
Guess Who gets taken to the extreme.

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322. At 08:06am on 24 Apr 2009, SeanieSmith wrote:
"If we can't get a picture of Susan Boyle's new makeover, this will have to do."

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323. At 08:16am on 24 Apr 2009, jtotheglo wrote:
Nasty Nick's daughter gets her revenge!

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324. At 08:23am on 24 Apr 2009, haggis1876 wrote:
In the wings the Phantom of the Opera waited.....

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325. At 08:26am on 24 Apr 2009, Lou01753 wrote:
Celebrities take the lollipop diet too far

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326. At 08:27am on 24 Apr 2009, haggis1876 wrote:
"Too many cigarette breaks, Dot, you're fired"

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327. At 08:37am on 24 Apr 2009, SeanieSmith wrote:
"Patsy Kensit...higher or lower?"

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328. At 08:46am on 24 Apr 2009, johnnybravojo wrote:
Is yours a mutant?

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329. At 08:47am on 24 Apr 2009, haggis1876 wrote:
This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the House Rules.
330. At 08:49am on 24 Apr 2009, Merkofk wrote:
The Antics Roadshow

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331. At 08:53am on 24 Apr 2009, MJF_dodo wrote:
"These are all my look-alikes according to Google."

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332. At 08:55am on 24 Apr 2009, RioMac wrote:
Sorry youre all here under a false pretence. Youre all fired, its the Credit crunch and the popularity of The Apprentice. Isnt that a little harsh Sir Alan?

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333. At 09:00am on 24 Apr 2009, GirlWeekday wrote:
A popular children's show joins forces with a celebrity magazine to bring you...
"HELLO! Muppets"

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334. At 09:01am on 24 Apr 2009, j-o-n-a-t-h-a-n wrote:
British Academy regrets sourcing celebrities from Pirate Bay.

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335. At 09:02am on 24 Apr 2009, j-o-n-a-t-h-a-n wrote:
June Brown picks the short straw.

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336. At 09:03am on 24 Apr 2009, TooSensible wrote:
Everyone agreed that the size zero culture had gone too far.

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337. At 09:03am on 24 Apr 2009, ThunderCat8 wrote:
Julie sighed, "Why can't I be as thin as these celebrities?"

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338. At 09:04am on 24 Apr 2009, haggis1876 wrote:
Michael Grades leaving party didn't generate much interest.

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339. At 09:14am on 24 Apr 2009, macgrew wrote:
The celebrities hated "fly on the wall documentaries", so this time they were ready.....

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340. At 09:14am on 24 Apr 2009, j-o-n-a-t-h-a-n wrote:
Nigel the stick knew that none of the other sticks liked him. But now, they had gone too far. They had stuck a picture of Jonathan Ross on him.

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341. At 09:15am on 24 Apr 2009, haggis1876 wrote:
Unable to find a witch, Sheila still took advantage of her mobile phone cinema ticket offer.

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342. At 09:21am on 24 Apr 2009, bampot-bob wrote:
At least we know they're not germans. Otherwise there would be towels on the seats, not photographs.

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343. At 09:23am on 24 Apr 2009, bampot-bob wrote:
Now the Germans are getting cleverer. They have invented the new mini photograph towel.

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344. At 09:24am on 24 Apr 2009, fandango2 wrote:
"Apparently we can now get two grand off a new celebrity if we trade in these old ones."

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345. At 09:29am on 24 Apr 2009, Geoff Brown wrote:
"Let's hope these two fail to show!" Geoff Brown, 'The Local Bore, You Can't Ignore!" Newcastle upon Tyne

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346. At 09:30am on 24 Apr 2009, fandango2 wrote:
Bafta organisers regret inviting President Ahmadinejad as the warm-up act.

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347. At 09:39am on 24 Apr 2009, fandango2 wrote:
"About Russell Brand's photo...could you get back to him and ask for one of his face this time."

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348. At 09:40am on 24 Apr 2009, nachochris wrote:
"We are really sorry but NOONE could be here tonight to collect their trophy..."

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349. At 09:42am on 24 Apr 2009, BloggerDom wrote:
This one has more one dimension than I was expecting.

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350. At 09:42am on 24 Apr 2009, semi_mental wrote:
Preparations for the "biggest game of Guess Who?" world record attempt were almost complete.

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351. At 09:43am on 24 Apr 2009, Tableturn wrote:
Jim Davidson wondered why his "An Evening With....." show was so quiet. Then his assistant checked.....

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352. At 09:43am on 24 Apr 2009, StagsRUs wrote:
I'll just sneak my mum in here and no one will notice!

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353. At 09:44am on 24 Apr 2009, Tableturn wrote:
The "Missing Celebrities" Conference, 2009, about to get under way.

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354. At 09:45am on 24 Apr 2009, whiteshadow_ wrote:
The new members of the bbc fight club are announced.

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355. At 09:45am on 24 Apr 2009, MaggieM1977 wrote:
Do you think anyone will notice the difference? No, that's ok then...

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356. At 09:45am on 24 Apr 2009, bionicChopChop wrote:
The turnout for Jodie Marsh's wedding was spectacular

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357. At 09:45am on 24 Apr 2009, steven_g8 wrote:
Helen, can you shift June Brown AND Patsy Kensit? We need both these seats for Mr Moyles.

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358. At 09:46am on 24 Apr 2009, myangelstar wrote:
'Look i've told you a million time, keep Jonathan Ross AWAY from veteran actors'

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359. At 09:48am on 24 Apr 2009, mshostak wrote:
You think anyone will notice?

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360. At 09:48am on 24 Apr 2009, bertytrouser wrote:
"hello jonathon, would you and russel like to meet my grandchildren?"

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361. At 09:48am on 24 Apr 2009, one_ring99 wrote:
These celebrity types are so shallow.

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362. At 09:48am on 24 Apr 2009, EinsteinsGhost wrote:
BAFTA gets creative after 'stars' refuse to waive apperance fees despite recession.

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363. At 09:49am on 24 Apr 2009, secondleoleo wrote:
Is Dot thinking, 'i wish i was someware ealse?'

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364. At 09:49am on 24 Apr 2009, leeroy wrote:
Graham Norton wasn't a popular choice, June Brown's photo asks to go to the toilet

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365. At 09:50am on 24 Apr 2009, HamchesterUnited wrote:
Jane's imagination ran riot as she planned the seating arrangements for her imaginary BAFTAs, having been refused a ticket to the real thing.

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366. At 09:51am on 24 Apr 2009, KevinABrown wrote:
The BBC decided to make this years event paper view

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367. At 09:51am on 24 Apr 2009, ManxDave57 wrote:
Who is the Bill Stickers anyway, and why is he not allowed?

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368. At 09:52am on 24 Apr 2009, jonnywqpr wrote:
Seems everyone has gone on the Atkin's diet again.

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369. At 09:54am on 24 Apr 2009, Shadow255 wrote:
Strange, ... I expected Jonathan Ross' head to be much bigger !

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370. At 09:54am on 24 Apr 2009, simonf2906 wrote:
BAFTA were forced to take drastic measures as the recession hit local Chauffeur companies.

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371. At 09:55am on 24 Apr 2009, ManxDave57 wrote:
BBC announces the first awards ceremony organised by Twitter

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372. At 09:55am on 24 Apr 2009, incababy wrote:
Live studio audience the latest casualty of BBC budget cuts

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373. At 09:55am on 24 Apr 2009, philosophicalTomT wrote:
The June Brown (Dot Cotton) celebrity lollipop was withdrawn from the taste test after it was decided "Musty Flavour" wouldn't be a big seller.

TomT

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374. At 09:56am on 24 Apr 2009, SteeleHawker wrote:
Madame No's evil plan for world domination fails when the highest ransom she can get for her hostages is £35.28

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375. At 09:56am on 24 Apr 2009, jamesalb wrote:
This new 50% income tax band might dampen attendance with the high earners this year so pictures or cardboard cut outs were the best option.

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376. At 09:56am on 24 Apr 2009, mistybonkers wrote:
Doesn't matter where I put Jonathan Ross, his picture starts leaning towards the next seat and rustling suggestively...

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377. At 09:56am on 24 Apr 2009, PJE_UK wrote:
Credit crunch finally hits Madame Tussauds

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378. At 09:56am on 24 Apr 2009, HamchesterUnited wrote:
World Jumbo-Celebrity-Guess-Who Champion rumbled as she attempts to swap Dot Cotton for Johnny Rotten.

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379. At 09:57am on 24 Apr 2009, windipop wrote:
Are you sure he is still alive? Who was he anyway?

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380. At 09:58am on 24 Apr 2009, stevenc1970 wrote:
Angela so wished she'd been invited to the BAFTAS. Never mind, with some glue, an inkjet and a little imagination...

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381. At 09:58am on 24 Apr 2009, paul3011 wrote:
So, is this what is known as a 'Dot' Matrix then?

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382. At 09:58am on 24 Apr 2009, SteeleHawker wrote:
Bad news, Gloria. This year's show is going out on television, not radio.

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383. At 09:58am on 24 Apr 2009, jovialGinger wrote:
I am so "Browned" off!

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384. At 09:59am on 24 Apr 2009, whiteshadow_ wrote:
when fight club failed, the government tries an alternative method to save money on actors wages. battle royale begins. who got the spoon?

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385. At 09:59am on 24 Apr 2009, incababy wrote:
At the special request of Jonathon Ross' management team, Dot Cotton replaced Roderick Rogers

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386. At 10:00am on 24 Apr 2009, SteeleHawker wrote:
Only the expensive seats were left - Alistair Darling had taken all the budget seating

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387. At 10:00am on 24 Apr 2009, Tarleton-Jon wrote:
Joy, as heads on spikes punishment returns to the Tower of London.

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388. At 10:01am on 24 Apr 2009, jamesalb wrote:
"now, before i place these two next to each other. Jonothan Ross hasnt left any messages on June Brown's answer machine has he?"

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389. At 10:01am on 24 Apr 2009, whichever wrote:
You can't dislike her that much

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390. At 10:01am on 24 Apr 2009, Correllie wrote:
Don't worry June love, at least you haven't got Russell Brand on the other side; you should be safe enough!

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391. At 10:01am on 24 Apr 2009, CatMcGibney wrote:
A Guinness Book of Records attempt for the largest celebrity game of "Guess Who"...

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392. At 10:01am on 24 Apr 2009, SLYMARANER wrote:
The 'credit crunch' hits the awards....can only afford to have photos of celebs...hard times indeed!

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393. At 10:02am on 24 Apr 2009, MaranelloMan wrote:
Angela didn't want to face a night of lewd sexual inuendos so she swapped places with June Brown.

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394. At 10:03am on 24 Apr 2009, paul_winstanley wrote:
Due to payroll mistakes, BBC can only invite cardoard cut-outs to BAFTAs.

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395. At 10:03am on 24 Apr 2009, cchilds1 wrote:
For Sale, slightly soiled

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396. At 10:03am on 24 Apr 2009, Big_Melz wrote:
"Chloe, we're a bit short on material this year- stick the Corrie and Eastenders mob up the back."

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397. At 10:03am on 24 Apr 2009, ManxDave57 wrote:
After seating June next to Jonathon, BAFTA faced the dilemma of where to put the Four P0*fs and the Piano.

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398. At 10:03am on 24 Apr 2009, drprdas wrote:
Dry run.

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399. At 10:04am on 24 Apr 2009, kamala-jane wrote:
The BBC were determined that the lecture on correctly claiming expenses would go ahead.

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400. At 10:04am on 24 Apr 2009, phantom_limb wrote:
Susan Boyle's coming!? Where will she sit....? i have an idea.......

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401. At 10:04am on 24 Apr 2009, sylve14 wrote:
Blimey what a load of old placards in here!

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402. At 10:05am on 24 Apr 2009, millergram33 wrote:
I'll move this one to the smoking section

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403. At 10:05am on 24 Apr 2009, SteeleHawker wrote:
It would have to be the BAFTA night when the sat nav satellite starts malfunctioning

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404. At 10:05am on 24 Apr 2009, The_cats_wiskers wrote:
No, put her at the back, she'll never stay awake!

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405. At 10:06am on 24 Apr 2009, iplayerjunkie wrote:
As the guests started to arrive their thin veil of plastic attached to a stick replaced a thin veil of plastic attached to a stick.

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406. At 10:08am on 24 Apr 2009, Waterfront wrote:
The latest celebrity diet seemed to be a great success!

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407. At 10:09am on 24 Apr 2009, joerobinson1972 wrote:
an audience with michael barrymore was never this popular

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408. At 10:10am on 24 Apr 2009, Leroyrampa23 wrote:
"Just swap this one for Georgina Baillie, light the blue touch-paper and stand back..."

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409. At 10:10am on 24 Apr 2009, sweetsugarsteve wrote:
Michelle Collins' fury at not being invited to the show forces her to take drastic measures against her former Eastenders co-star.

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410. At 10:11am on 24 Apr 2009, carefreeeeeeee wrote:
Seating Isla St Clair, Jimmy White and Brian Ferry together to make the Isla White Ferry might amuse you but quite frankly it's not big and it's not clever.

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411. At 10:12am on 24 Apr 2009, Wardys wrote:
Is it OK if I swap this one for my Photo?

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412. At 10:12am on 24 Apr 2009, secretBarryIsland wrote:
I know bums on seats are important but isn't this going a bit far?

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413. At 10:14am on 24 Apr 2009, NomadDoogle wrote:
You did send all the invites out for tonights 'Audience with Russell Brand' didn't you?

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414. At 10:14am on 24 Apr 2009, NigelH-Sadler wrote:
The printing costs might be high, but our carbon footprint is tiny compared to getting the real people here!

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415. At 10:14am on 24 Apr 2009, DocGravy wrote:
ergh - I'm not sitting here - all the seats are covered with faces.

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416. At 10:15am on 24 Apr 2009, Bruno69 wrote:
I can't find Russell Brand's picture anywhere!

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417. At 10:16am on 24 Apr 2009, sparklemotion106 wrote:
Ok, is it a woman...yes? Is she...wearing glasses...no?

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418. At 10:17am on 24 Apr 2009, geeefcee wrote:
"You better stick Dot in the middle. It looks like she's not going to be around much longer but whilst she's there she at least she can keep old foul-mouthed Woss in his place!"

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419. At 10:18am on 24 Apr 2009, RockyHobbs wrote:
'Tesco value celebrity graveyards' get nod for the future.

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420. At 10:20am on 24 Apr 2009, adeatwork wrote:
Well, with the credit crunch biting we all have to make cost savings Daring.

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421. At 10:20am on 24 Apr 2009, TheFatBlackDuke wrote:
The new series of Celebrity Guess Who was hit by budget cuts.

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422. At 10:20am on 24 Apr 2009, H2k wrote:
June Brown next to Jonathan Ross. You know thats asking for trouble!

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423. At 10:21am on 24 Apr 2009, Bampyjohn wrote:
Cover up after no show for an Audience with Mr Brown

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424. At 10:21am on 24 Apr 2009, nadine7346 wrote:
With seed beds were planted and labelled, the BBC hoped their "grow your own celebrities" scheme would both save money and reduce carbon emissions.

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425. At 10:22am on 24 Apr 2009, friendlyOssiecat wrote:
I still think my original seating plan with Andrew Sachs next to Jonathon Ross would have livened up the proceedings

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426. At 10:22am on 24 Apr 2009, bianchiboy0 wrote:
This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the House Rules.
427. At 10:22am on 24 Apr 2009, beadyGreen wrote:
The B-List Celebrity Assassins Guild's shooting range took forever to set up.

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428. At 10:22am on 24 Apr 2009, bianchiboy0 wrote:
Dot to Queen's Knight 4

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429. At 10:23am on 24 Apr 2009, miltondel wrote:
Should this one go outside with the other smokers?

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430. At 10:23am on 24 Apr 2009, Biggraybo wrote:
I'm not saying the photos on these placards are old but it says "Coal not Dole" on the reverse!!

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431. At 10:23am on 24 Apr 2009, dragonpride wrote:
easyBafta, the no frills television awards company, prepares for its first show.

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432. At 10:23am on 24 Apr 2009, 1ktl8e wrote:
See, only half the booking fee and just as entertaining!

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433. At 10:23am on 24 Apr 2009, krsitianlw wrote:
The Virtual Bafta Awards 2020...

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434. At 10:23am on 24 Apr 2009, RockyHobbs wrote:
Jade Goody musical to be made. Tickets sold out.

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435. At 10:23am on 24 Apr 2009, drprdas wrote:
I ain't a celebrity - Get me out of here! Excuse me...

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436. At 10:23am on 24 Apr 2009, geeefcee wrote:
"I don't know the words but you hum and I'll play"

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437. At 10:24am on 24 Apr 2009, sinnyg_7 wrote:
Right, now to the problem of clapping...

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438. At 10:25am on 24 Apr 2009, davidryfld wrote:
America's most wanted list for "crimes against entertainment" gains another face.

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439. At 10:26am on 24 Apr 2009, geeefcee wrote:
"This one say's she ain't cummin'. Shall I take 'er snap away?"

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440. At 10:26am on 24 Apr 2009, Goffee wrote:
Don't worry - only the three people watching in Hi-Def will notice this is all fake!

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441. At 10:26am on 24 Apr 2009, Dundeen wrote:
June Brown was adamant that she was not wanting to be seated next to Wayne Rooney again.....although !!!!

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442. At 10:27am on 24 Apr 2009, iplayerjunkie wrote:
Finally touches are made to the front cover photograph for the 'BBC budget cuts review 2009-2010' publication.

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443. At 10:27am on 24 Apr 2009, jpkesseler wrote:
"So you want to swap places with Miss Brown, Mr Brand? I doubt that'd be a problem..."

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444. At 10:28am on 24 Apr 2009, Kudosless wrote:

Bafta wants no scanned-Ross behaviour

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445. At 10:28am on 24 Apr 2009, Robertofranco wrote:
"Ok, So not Russel Brand, Not Andrew Sachs....Dot!! will she do? Make you mind up, my backs going"

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446. At 10:29am on 24 Apr 2009, carljamesw wrote:
oh no Bafta seem to think that Alexa Chung is the same amount of famous as June Brown. duh!

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447. At 10:30am on 24 Apr 2009, DrChiltern wrote:
With Andrew Sachs boycotting the event, a bored Jonathan Ross turns to June Brown and asks how her granddaughter is.

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448. At 10:30am on 24 Apr 2009, Geoffo2000 wrote:
These budget cuts may not fool everyone but life is certainly a lot easier without the constant celebrity tantrums

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449. At 10:31am on 24 Apr 2009, grebehead wrote:
Today an intruder got found out very quickly when she crashed the Celebrity Video Conference...

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450. At 10:31am on 24 Apr 2009, bushy-tailedalexa wrote:
anyone for a game of guess who?

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451. At 10:33am on 24 Apr 2009, SteeleHawker wrote:
Jackie had been looking forward to opening window 25 on her advent calendar, but was a little disappointed when it turned out to be June Brown

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452. At 10:33am on 24 Apr 2009, guccibaggirl wrote:
Lets hope June Brown hasn't a granddaughter with her!

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453. At 10:34am on 24 Apr 2009, Kudosless wrote:

"Had the stick slipped?" she wondered "... or did the person in the photo behind, REALLY just move to peer around me ?"

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454. At 10:34am on 24 Apr 2009, MUZLER wrote:
EXCUSE ME, EXCUSE ME.....SORRY,SORRY!! SHE SAYS AS SHE STRUGGLES TO FIND HER SEAT.

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455. At 10:34am on 24 Apr 2009, secretempire wrote:
To the dashing photographer in a quiet wisper.

"Hey luv - how about a quickie later? I'm dead board wiv' all this..."

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456. At 10:34am on 24 Apr 2009, xGhostAvengedx wrote:
"It's a woman, you say? With brown hair? I suck at Guess Who."

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457. At 10:35am on 24 Apr 2009, SteeleHawker wrote:
You can always tell how good a BBC Caption Competition photograph is by the number of submissions that have to be moderated .... oh

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458. At 10:35am on 24 Apr 2009, agmtheblog wrote:
No, we have to change it! Agent has been on even she won't sit next to him!

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459. At 10:36am on 24 Apr 2009, uklinda wrote:
Fiona mused 'I wanted to be a lollipop lady really'

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460. At 10:37am on 24 Apr 2009, Victoriabj wrote:
Do you think June Whitfield will object to sitting next to Penfold?

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461. At 10:38am on 24 Apr 2009, leskaiserboom wrote:
The new celebrity diet was really beginning to show

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462. At 10:40am on 24 Apr 2009, quornhorn wrote:
No No No .....we only wanted Johnathan Ross's Head on a stick

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463. At 10:40am on 24 Apr 2009, laughingbjohns wrote:
"which side shall I put Andrew Sachs?"

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464. At 10:41am on 24 Apr 2009, Kudosless wrote:

A pic-chair pays a thousand worse

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465. At 10:42am on 24 Apr 2009, pavlovaworks wrote:
Look, someone's got to sit next to Jonathan Ross.

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466. At 10:43am on 24 Apr 2009, RitaWrita wrote:
Credit crunch affects this year's BAFTAs.

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467. At 10:44am on 24 Apr 2009, jamesShepherd wrote:
" Celebrities are getting thinner these days aren't they "

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468. At 10:44am on 24 Apr 2009, PJE_UK wrote:
Embattled BBC in new fakery scandal.

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469. At 10:47am on 24 Apr 2009, sparkleShazza60 wrote:
It's a bit late now to tell me you want it boy-girl, boy-girl.

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470. At 10:47am on 24 Apr 2009, kittywinter wrote:
preparations continue for the world's biggest ever game of 'Guess Who?'

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471. At 10:48am on 24 Apr 2009, kirtonski wrote:
Oh! please don't put me next to Wossy, he's so like my son Nick.

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472. At 10:48am on 24 Apr 2009, russ_t_uk wrote:
Dot Cotton to B3... Hit you sank my Battleship!

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473. At 10:48am on 24 Apr 2009, kayheywood wrote:
Another corporate audience - no seats available for the real fans then?

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474. At 10:48am on 24 Apr 2009, to_write_is_to_live wrote:
And the winner for best picture is ...

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475. At 10:49am on 24 Apr 2009, yellowLarsishere wrote:
"Yes, we figured there'd be less controversy this way..."

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476. At 10:49am on 24 Apr 2009, Lplate9 wrote:
The work experience girl misunderstood when she was told to arrive to work at 9am on the dot.

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477. At 10:49am on 24 Apr 2009, Pjc1601 wrote:
The DFS auditions we're always hard to get through

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478. At 10:50am on 24 Apr 2009, mynameissport wrote:
BAFTA's budgets cuts forces the organisers to give the public a homemade celebrity shooting gallery for them to raise profits.

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479. At 10:50am on 24 Apr 2009, choccs wrote:
The seating organisers blocked nose would lead to serious repercussions when he told his assistant

Dot between Russell Brand and Jonathan Ross

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480. At 10:51am on 24 Apr 2009, Shugglebugle wrote:
Bums on seats?

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481. At 10:52am on 24 Apr 2009, Feechan1990 wrote:
Guess Who: Giant Version

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482. At 10:52am on 24 Apr 2009, RobbyK wrote:
On hearing that MP's were contemplating adopting the European Parliament system of extra pay for attendance, the Bafta nominees attempted to implement their own "clock in, sod off" policy.

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483. At 10:54am on 24 Apr 2009, goonerjj80 wrote:
New BAFTA Chairwoman gets stuck into her new role.

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484. At 10:55am on 24 Apr 2009, clearblue82 wrote:
"Sorry, someone's sitting there love."

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485. At 10:55am on 24 Apr 2009, andymarczak wrote:
Mitchell and Webb will be gutted when they find out they are sitting next to each other ... again!

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486. At 10:55am on 24 Apr 2009, margheritapizza wrote:
They had a backup plan, just in case Ross or any of the others got banend from TV

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487. At 10:55am on 24 Apr 2009, bowmantwo wrote:
No, No dear Its bums on seats we need

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488. At 10:56am on 24 Apr 2009, Kellie-Sixties wrote:
The unfortunate accident with the steam roller left the guests feeling more deflated than usual

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489. At 10:57am on 24 Apr 2009, hexplorer wrote:
As the credit crunch start to bite across the whole economy, workers rush to set out suitable substitutes for those celebrities they could not afford to invite.

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490. At 10:58am on 24 Apr 2009, inizia wrote:
Bafta bosses do their best with a credit crunched budget...

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491. At 10:58am on 24 Apr 2009, ibk1971 wrote:
I knew my morse code training would come in handy one day, dash dash dot dash dash

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492. At 10:58am on 24 Apr 2009, dstacey wrote:
Next to Jonathan Ross? Really? Hasn't she got a grand-daughter?!

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493. At 10:58am on 24 Apr 2009, quinsfan84 wrote:
"June Brown has a granddaughter you say? Yeeeaah... I'll move her next to Parkie or something"

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494. At 10:59am on 24 Apr 2009, Mitcherooney wrote:
Poor cow! Having to sit next to Wossy!

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495. At 10:59am on 24 Apr 2009, quickLeighB wrote:
When they said I'd be hob-knobbing with the stars, this is not what I had in mind!

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496. At 10:59am on 24 Apr 2009, jeff78 wrote:
The organiser of the Look-a-like BAFTAs has been affected by the credit crunch.

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497. At 11:00am on 24 Apr 2009, Derek53 wrote:
Post an invite? I thought you said Poster invite...

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498. At 11:00am on 24 Apr 2009, MicMacMicrobe wrote:
Bafta Shock: Stick thin celebrity faces replaced with celebrity faces... On sticks!

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499. At 11:01am on 24 Apr 2009, deevyash wrote:
The modern take on the Sgt.Pepper album cover lacked the same impact with Dot Cotton on the front row

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500. At 11:01am on 24 Apr 2009, supermatt6000 wrote:
Celebrity swatting was all the rage these days.

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