OMG. Just got out of the swimming pool and caught a glimpse of myself (re Paper Monitor). I am expecting twins, it seems. Erm.... but I am male.
The Therapist, Portsmouth, UK
In regards to Zoe Williams' rather unconventional pregnancy test (Paper Monitor), would anyone else be hysterical if they discovered they were pregnant at the gym? And why would you look in the mirror anyway? Everyone knows that they are designed to make you look heavier than you really are... ah, that's why I quit the evil place.
I see Sting is releasing his own wine. He once sang about a message in a bottle, and I can't help being reminded of the Monty Python sketch: "This is a bottle with a message in it, and the message is 'Beware! This is not a wine for drinking; this is a wine for laying down and avoiding.'"
Tom Meiklejohn, Bradford, UK
There's another Aine (Wednesday letters)! We're a rare breed in this country *waves*.
Years of reading the Monitor now allows me to recycle all that useless knowledge in best green traditions. Andrew Stacey (Thursday letters), it's l'esprit d'escalier - stairway wit (letters passim). Thank you Magazine Monitor.
Joel Horne, Tokyo, Japan
I GOT 7 OUT OF 7 ON THE QUIZ OF THE WEEK!!!!!!! And on the first attempt as well.
Basil Long, Nottingham
Deep joy! My first perfect score in the 7 days quiz. Now where do I go to get my rosette for Best in Show? Woof!
Muppet, Mannheim, Germany
Re Thursday's letters: "Monitor Note: You and many others, mate". The use of the word "mate" finally ends the debate. The Monitor is male - and not only that, he's a "bloke".
Tom Webb, Epsom, UK
Monitor note: That would be telling, petal.
Mike from Newcastle wants a loan for a P reg Astra (Thursday's letters). I'll chip in on condition that I get a huge bonus for "managing risk successfully", equivalent to 7,000 times what I lend to Mike. Seems fair enough. Bankers do it...
Mark, Reading, UK
Like what is in this magazine of yours?
Kim, New York City