Caption Competition

13:32 UK time, Friday, 27 March 2009

Winning entries in the caption competition.

The competition is now closed. Full rules can be seen here [PDF].

This week, the UK basked in an all-too-short burst of balmy weather before spring sprung its usual trick and reverted to wind and rain. But what's being said?

Thanks to all who entered. The prize of a small amount of kudos to the following:

6. The_Bob_Glasgow
"I'm saving this for my cash bonus..."

5. carbon_paper
"You're pretty uptight for an invisible girl."

4. SteeleHawker
Alton Towers just didn't have the same buzz since they'd opened their "Last of the Summer Wine" rides.

3. rogueslr
Brian's Twitter feed was one of the dullest on the net.

2. Lloyd-Barnes
Another MP caught abusing his second chair allowance.

1. haggis1876
Since the end of the Cold War, the exchange of attache cases had ground to a halt. Ivan wasn't complaining.

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Comments

1. At 12:32pm on 26 Mar 2009, LaurenceLane wrote:
Two old men were sitting in deckchairs...

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2. At 12:32pm on 26 Mar 2009, Pendragon wrote:
I'll pay to use them just as soon as I get my hand unstuck

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3. At 12:32pm on 26 Mar 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
Little did he know he was about to be slapped for getting fresh with the invisible woman

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4. At 12:33pm on 26 Mar 2009, Pendragon wrote:
Charlie Dimmock built it for me - it's a decking-chair

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5. At 12:33pm on 26 Mar 2009, Pendragon wrote:
I know stripes make a girl look slim, George, but you can't even see me in this

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6. At 12:34pm on 26 Mar 2009, LaurenceLane wrote:
Darling, you are happy with me becoming a Morris dancer? Darling...

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7. At 12:35pm on 26 Mar 2009, Pendragon wrote:
Of course I can relax - these are the cheapest seats in the West End

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8. At 12:36pm on 26 Mar 2009, LaurenceLane wrote:
Although he was alone, he still wanted twice as much as the next man. That was problem of being a merchant banker.

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9. At 12:37pm on 26 Mar 2009, Pendragon wrote:
It looked so calm and relaxing, but Jekyll Park was about to change character

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10. At 12:37pm on 26 Mar 2009, LaurenceLane wrote:
Accountants practiced double entry even in their private lives.

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11. At 12:38pm on 26 Mar 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
George had a decidedly passive approach to dating

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12. At 12:38pm on 26 Mar 2009, Mexican_Standoff wrote:
Mr Biggs displayed his alpha male dominance by sitting on Mr Deckchair and groping his wife.

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13. At 12:38pm on 26 Mar 2009, Pendragon wrote:
Yeah, I backed out of The Apprentice after seeing the state of that toilet Alan Sugar comes out of in the boardroom

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14. At 12:39pm on 26 Mar 2009, Mexican_Standoff wrote:
...mmm this deckchair almost feels like a real woman.

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15. At 12:39pm on 26 Mar 2009, rogueslr wrote:
I'm saving it for a friend, will you be my friend?

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16. At 12:40pm on 26 Mar 2009, Valerie Ganne wrote:
After strap-hanging on the Underground all the way from Uxbridge, Harry just couldn't get his left arm to relax

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17. At 12:40pm on 26 Mar 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
Where are they now? Who cares.

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18. At 12:41pm on 26 Mar 2009, 25_and_no_hope wrote:
"I'll be back in a minute Dave, someone's just put a window in at my house"...

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19. At 12:42pm on 26 Mar 2009, 25_and_no_hope wrote:
MOD suit proves that confidential information is not easily obtained.

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20. At 12:42pm on 26 Mar 2009, sternpaddler wrote:
There was a young man from Devizes,
Who's deck chairs were two different sizes.
The left one was small,
Not worth mentioning at all
But the right one had won several prizes.

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21. At 12:42pm on 26 Mar 2009, Valerie Ganne wrote:
As Alan sank slowly into the Hyde Park bog, he began to realise why his deckchair was so much cheaper than the other

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22. At 12:42pm on 26 Mar 2009, neoturfmaster wrote:
Unfortunately, Mavis was not around to hear Barry's comment about the weather. She had mysteriously disappeared. It would baffle scientists for years, much like the unexplained disappearance of the dinosaurs. One particular dinosaur, actually. And a little girl. Just last week, in fact..

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23. At 12:43pm on 26 Mar 2009, Liam wrote:
Gordon Brown holds a meeting on the grounds of the Recession.

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24. At 12:43pm on 26 Mar 2009, Valerie Ganne wrote:
Captain John was an old deck-hand

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25. At 12:44pm on 26 Mar 2009, rogueslr wrote:
The auctioneer's dream was of nice tall boy.

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26. At 12:45pm on 26 Mar 2009, Valerie Ganne wrote:
Yes, it's lovely and quiet here, except for alternate Saturdays when Arsenal are playing at home

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27. At 12:45pm on 26 Mar 2009, david regan wrote:
That buy one get one free was a great idea. All I need now is someone to use it!

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28. At 12:46pm on 26 Mar 2009, sparklingkerrip wrote:
He had sat down to have a chat with his friend Jim, but what a fright Alan would have once he woke to glance at what he thought was in his hand

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29. At 12:47pm on 26 Mar 2009, 21gardener wrote:
Isn't this a mighty fine way to spend our lunch hour, Harvey?

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30. At 12:47pm on 26 Mar 2009, Valerie Ganne wrote:
Suddenly, when everyone thought it was finally safe to relax for free in their deckchairs, he stood up, tore off his suit, and revealed himself as "Deckchair Attendant Man"

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31. At 12:47pm on 26 Mar 2009, david regan wrote:
Thinking .... "On one hand I've got alot of time on my hands ...... and on the other I have a deck chair!"

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32. At 12:48pm on 26 Mar 2009, Valerie Ganne wrote:
Even superheroes need to relax every now and again

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33. At 12:48pm on 26 Mar 2009, mischievousBlueBasil wrote:
Listen, my twin sister may be laid back but if you don't remove your hand from my leg you will be sorry!

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34. At 12:49pm on 26 Mar 2009, Pendle_Witch wrote:
"England were 750 for 1 against Australia (Kevin Pietersen 440 not out) when I was disturbed from my last dream."

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35. At 12:49pm on 26 Mar 2009, Valerie Ganne wrote:
What do you mean, Harry, "Why is that odd little green alien pointing a strange-looking gun at me?"

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36. At 12:49pm on 26 Mar 2009, david regan wrote:
When Sir Alan said take in as much as you can, I don't think he meant rays, I sure he meant money!

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37. At 12:50pm on 26 Mar 2009, Mexican_Standoff wrote:
This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the House Rules.
38. At 12:50pm on 26 Mar 2009, Valerie Ganne wrote:
Come off it, Harry! I don't think you need worry about some silly sign that says "Anyone not paying for the use of a deckchair will be vaporised."

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39. At 12:52pm on 26 Mar 2009, Mexican_Standoff wrote:
Spring has sprung but Mr Biggs is still hibernating from the deckchairs he set up in Autumn.

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40. At 12:53pm on 26 Mar 2009, JudgePix wrote:
Parliamentary hopeful offered safe seat on the common.

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41. At 12:53pm on 26 Mar 2009, rogueslr wrote:
Brian's Twitter feed was one of the dullest on the net.

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42. At 12:55pm on 26 Mar 2009, DarthMac wrote:
Bankers used to have friends.

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43. At 12:57pm on 26 Mar 2009, JudgePix wrote:
Banker finds complete lack of interest exhausting.

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44. At 12:58pm on 26 Mar 2009, Shedsey wrote:
"If I let go it will disappear like it did last week!"

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45. At 12:58pm on 26 Mar 2009, DarthMac wrote:
"Sorry, but its almost like a disease." George explained of his empty seat compulsion. "As you can imagine it costs me a fortune when flying."

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46. At 12:59pm on 26 Mar 2009, BenW1978 wrote:
Having sold their boardroom in a cost-cutting exercise, RBS's AGM is moved outdoors - still bloody boring though...

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47. At 12:59pm on 26 Mar 2009, rogueslr wrote:
You know, since I started taking these garlic tablets, I feel so much more relaxed. What do you think? I said...

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48. At 1:00pm on 26 Mar 2009, Fauconnier wrote:
Findus Executive has a spare plaice and no soul to fillet

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49. At 1:01pm on 26 Mar 2009, Fauconnier wrote:
Police claim man killed by deckchair was a put-up job

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50. At 1:01pm on 26 Mar 2009, david regan wrote:
Council Investment Chief rues his "Let's go to Iceland" Investment Plan

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51. At 1:01pm on 26 Mar 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
AIG company picnic - executive bonus area

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52. At 1:03pm on 26 Mar 2009, david regan wrote:
When they said I was going to be a Chairman, this isn't what I had in mind!

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53. At 1:03pm on 26 Mar 2009, Mexican_Standoff wrote:
In the real world Mr Mitty was just a dull accountant grinding out numbers in a dull depressing office but in his daydream..

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54. At 1:03pm on 26 Mar 2009, DarthMac wrote:
Airport planners and environmentalists come to an agreement on the new Terminal Five departure lounge.

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55. At 1:03pm on 26 Mar 2009, Steve-L19 wrote:
Having a sleep without dropping off.

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56. At 1:03pm on 26 Mar 2009, 21gardener wrote:
Douglas Alexander would have some explaining to do if he couldn't get this taken off Street View.

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57. At 1:04pm on 26 Mar 2009, david regan wrote:
I'll just relax and wait hear a while. I'm sure my huge pension will come along soon!

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58. At 1:05pm on 26 Mar 2009, david regan wrote:
I'll just relax and wait here a while. I'm sure my huge pension will come along soon!

(Correct due to spelling mistake)

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59. At 1:05pm on 26 Mar 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
Summer stock production of Waiting for Godot

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60. At 1:05pm on 26 Mar 2009, Steve-L19 wrote:
The MoD laptop's completely safe so long as I keep my hand on it.

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61. At 1:06pm on 26 Mar 2009, Fauconnier wrote:
After being offered some hand jam sandwich by a small child, a City businessman regrets asking "What's a hand jam?"

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62. At 1:06pm on 26 Mar 2009, Kudosless wrote:

My parents normally sit in it, but it is far enough away from my main deckchair to fully justify my expenses claim for it.

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63. At 1:06pm on 26 Mar 2009, Mexican_Standoff wrote:
This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the House Rules.
64. At 1:06pm on 26 Mar 2009, DarthMac wrote:
Bernard Madoff's friends were about as real as his investments.

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65. At 1:08pm on 26 Mar 2009, JudgePix wrote:
Despite the exciting video, Gordon Brown was disappointed when his version of "Sex Bomb" failed to get into the charts.

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66. At 1:09pm on 26 Mar 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
And I wonder if you know, that I never understood, that
Although you said you'd go, until you did, I never thought you would.

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67. At 1:10pm on 26 Mar 2009, excellentmad_hatter wrote:
This one's reserved for the big bloke from Spandau Ballet.

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68. At 1:10pm on 26 Mar 2009, OurSwipe wrote:
Chairman Of The Bored !

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69. At 1:11pm on 26 Mar 2009, DarthMac wrote:
Work as a deckchair model can often be exhausting.

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70. At 1:12pm on 26 Mar 2009, The_Bob_Glasgow wrote:
I'm saving this for my cash bonus...

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71. At 1:12pm on 26 Mar 2009, david regan wrote:
The Feng shui has an immediate effect on the new Park arRanger

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72. At 1:12pm on 26 Mar 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
And I wonder if you know, that I never understood,
That although you said you'd go, until you did, I never thought you would

(correction)

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73. At 1:13pm on 26 Mar 2009, Robin Johnston wrote:
This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the House Rules.
74. At 1:13pm on 26 Mar 2009, The_Bob_Glasgow wrote:
John was dreaming that he had his hand on Peg-Leg's thigh...

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75. At 1:14pm on 26 Mar 2009, Mexican_Standoff wrote:
I take my deckchairs everywhere I go.They’re the best friends a man could have.

People say I’m mad but we just
ignore them don’t we Doris?

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76. At 1:15pm on 26 Mar 2009, david regan wrote:
Life's a beach - unless you're in the park!

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77. At 1:15pm on 26 Mar 2009, Mexican_Standoff wrote:
I take my deckchairs everywhere I go. They're the best friends a man could have.

People say I'm mad but we just ignore them, don't we Doris?

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78. At 1:16pm on 26 Mar 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
And then the music stopped, but the two last contestants decided instead to pitch a little woo behind the bandstand.

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79. At 1:16pm on 26 Mar 2009, SimonRooke wrote:
And here we see Parliament's standards commissioner, leaping into action to investigate MP's expense irregularities.

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80. At 1:16pm on 26 Mar 2009, Sean241160 wrote:
"It's nice out today" said David
"Is it?" said Simon, "I'll take mine out too" "David... David?"

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81. At 1:16pm on 26 Mar 2009, Mexican_Standoff wrote:
A banker and his best friend sit down for a relaxing nap in Hyde Park.

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82. At 1:17pm on 26 Mar 2009, Rob Falconer wrote:
Oh no, it's another Government Health and Safety film about the dangers of putting up a deckchair without proper protection

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83. At 1:17pm on 26 Mar 2009, Kudosless wrote:

When he awoke, he would be surprised at just how far out the tide had gone

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84. At 1:19pm on 26 Mar 2009, Rob Falconer wrote:
As an elderly lady approachd, Gerald mused that the old fake-arm-and-spurting-blood-trapped-in-a-deckchair trick had never failed

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85. At 1:19pm on 26 Mar 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
Having been charged for two, Harry was determined to get his money's worth

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86. At 1:19pm on 26 Mar 2009, penny-farthing wrote:
The Grandstand for High Wycombe vs Lepping-under-Mold annual charity cricket match was filling fast.

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87. At 1:19pm on 26 Mar 2009, Rob Falconer wrote:
Unfortunately, Julius had ignored the warnings to beware the Hydes of March

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88. At 1:21pm on 26 Mar 2009, j-o-n-a-t-h-a-n wrote:
All around the country people took advantage of the unexpected sunshine, while waiting for the BBC to sort out their technical issues with the Caption Competition website.

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89. At 1:21pm on 26 Mar 2009, SimonRooke wrote:
That's right Harvey, you just get your head down.

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90. At 1:21pm on 26 Mar 2009, Rob Falconer wrote:
Harry wondered where his wife had got ... to ... until the deckchair beside him emitted a loud burp

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91. At 1:22pm on 26 Mar 2009, Rob Falconer wrote:
Harry wondered where his wife had got to ... until the deckchair beside him emitted a loud burp

(correction)

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92. At 1:22pm on 26 Mar 2009, Moggye wrote:
Why the answer to "Does my bum look big in this?" should NEVER, EVER, be "Yes"

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93. At 1:23pm on 26 Mar 2009, Rob Falconer wrote:
Unfortunately, Harry's friend couldn't afford a deckchair so had only paid for steerage (below decks)

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94. At 1:23pm on 26 Mar 2009, DarthMac wrote:
Government body tasked with protecting British freedom and democracy from an unaccountable EU.

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95. At 1:23pm on 26 Mar 2009, Rob Falconer wrote:
It's Posh and Decks!

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96. At 1:25pm on 26 Mar 2009, John_Sevenoaks wrote:
"Deck chair, I like your attitude - you're hired!"

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97. At 1:25pm on 26 Mar 2009, Kudosless wrote:

Celebrity News: Ashleep and Chair'll Fold pictured in The Sun again

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98. At 1:25pm on 26 Mar 2009, MukkaMonkey wrote:
The cause of last week's "Technical Problem" on the Caption Competition is uncovered...

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99. At 1:27pm on 26 Mar 2009, nick_fowler wrote:
Doctor Frankenstein was keeping the place for a fiend

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100. At 1:27pm on 26 Mar 2009, j-o-n-a-t-h-a-n wrote:
The search for Sir Fred Goodwin's Apprentice continues; the first task - to secure a 100% mortgage on a deckchair in Hyde Park.

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101. At 1:27pm on 26 Mar 2009, John_Sevenoaks wrote:
The Germans have their towels; we've got our bank managers.

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102. At 1:28pm on 26 Mar 2009, TheRealCatherineO wrote:
Folkestone earthquake caught on camera.

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103. At 1:29pm on 26 Mar 2009, blogbuster wrote:
Hey is it's the deck-chairman of the Bank of England

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104. At 1:30pm on 26 Mar 2009, OurSwipe wrote:
While sleeping, bob was unaware the pigeons had taken a liking to his brand new pristine blue tie !

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105. At 1:30pm on 26 Mar 2009, Kudosless wrote:

Where, he wondered had Captain Competition disappeared to now?

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106. At 1:30pm on 26 Mar 2009, blogbuster wrote:
Knotted white hanky shortage in Hyde Park

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107. At 1:31pm on 26 Mar 2009, Tainage wrote:
I said ALL hands on Deck!

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108. At 1:34pm on 26 Mar 2009, webmowgli wrote:
German delagation first to arrive at G20 summit.

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109. At 1:34pm on 26 Mar 2009, bedewham wrote:
Ex-Senior bank executive works hard at perfecting his new skill of deckchair rearrangement.

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110. At 1:35pm on 26 Mar 2009, eilsmad wrote:
I am audtioning for a part in Goldilocks...and this chair is just right!!

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111. At 1:35pm on 26 Mar 2009, nick_fowler wrote:
Daily Express reporter tries to gauge the actual size of a double-decker

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112. At 1:35pm on 26 Mar 2009, eltelsopwith wrote:
Claiming for a second deckchair essential for smooth running of government states minister

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113. At 1:37pm on 26 Mar 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
And then I awoke, and...one chair too many

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114. At 1:38pm on 26 Mar 2009, easterbunny1987 wrote:
"I am just resting my eyes dear, I am listening.......dear?"

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115. At 1:38pm on 26 Mar 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
One of these slings is not like the other

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116. At 1:38pm on 26 Mar 2009, tonysibley wrote:
I AM the chairman!! If I want two seats, I will have two seats!

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117. At 1:40pm on 26 Mar 2009, Magnum Carter wrote:
"Take my wife....oh, well done"

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118. At 1:40pm on 26 Mar 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
Narcoleptics Anonymous, may I help you?

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119. At 1:41pm on 26 Mar 2009, nick_fowler wrote:
I used to be an accountant with Lloyds TSB - now I'm just a turf accountant

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120. At 1:42pm on 26 Mar 2009, presto_west_end wrote:
I'm just investing in chairs these days.

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121. At 1:42pm on 26 Mar 2009, nick_fowler wrote:
ITV unveil their exciting new Saturday night series starring account-Ant and Dec-chair

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122. At 1:43pm on 26 Mar 2009, Magnum Carter wrote:
MI6 information gathering techniques 'not what they used to be'.

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123. At 1:45pm on 26 Mar 2009, penny-farthing wrote:
Lionel had always been a bit of a leg man....

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124. At 1:46pm on 26 Mar 2009, EnglishFolkfan wrote:
He didn't realise that wearing brown shoes with a black suit were already enough to deter anyone from sitting beside him.

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125. At 1:46pm on 26 Mar 2009, presto_west_end wrote:
Darling, I know its been a tough year, losing my job, then my home, but at least we have each ....er

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126. At 1:47pm on 26 Mar 2009, John_Sevenoaks wrote:
Formula 1 driver tests the latest aerodynamic seat design.

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127. At 1:49pm on 26 Mar 2009, Magnum Carter wrote:
Ikea implement 'recession-friendly' marketing.

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128. At 1:51pm on 26 Mar 2009, John_Sevenoaks wrote:
Father and daughter queueing for dinosaur exhibition.

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129. At 1:52pm on 26 Mar 2009, Magnum Carter wrote:
A snowball of errors ensues as Brian is told his next account should be a walk in the park for him.

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130. At 1:53pm on 26 Mar 2009, Fi-Glos wrote:
Credit Crunch watch:
Celtic United launch their new "economy" corporate hospitality box...

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131. At 1:55pm on 26 Mar 2009, John_Sevenoaks wrote:
"Get your hand off my leg - it's just been waxed!"

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132. At 1:55pm on 26 Mar 2009, Johnny Pixels wrote:
It was still 3 months until his summer holiday, but George wasn't losing his deckchairs to the Germans this year.

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133. At 1:56pm on 26 Mar 2009, j-o-n-a-t-h-a-n wrote:
You can relax in a deckchair on a sunny day
While your dubious investments are making hay
But rest assured we're not far away
We are the investigators from the FSA

We got rid of Sir Fred in double quick time
As his management of RBS was out of line
He thought with his bonus he'd be fine
But he can stick it where the sun don't shine

So relax in your deckchair while its sunny
You know you can trust us with your money
And in the future we'll say "thats funny"
We don't know why the economy is in the dunny.

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134. At 1:56pm on 26 Mar 2009, Helenepitpony wrote:
Madonna might have got the mansion, but, dammit, Guy was going to keep the deckchair.

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135. At 1:56pm on 26 Mar 2009, Samireo wrote:
When the recession took away all his friends.....

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136. At 2:00pm on 26 Mar 2009, boredombuster wrote:
This is so much better than a park bench. I'll save this one for Dave when he gets back with the cider.

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137. At 2:00pm on 26 Mar 2009, Helenepitpony wrote:
The bank might be facing a Titanic-scale disaster, but the chairman knew exactly what strategy he'd employ.

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138. At 2:02pm on 26 Mar 2009, nick_fowler wrote:
"Mess up this deal," said Sir Alan, "And I'll 'ave your stripes ..."

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139. At 2:04pm on 26 Mar 2009, nick_fowler wrote:
IKEA unveil their latest seat in association with ITV - the Anton Deck-Chair

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140. At 2:05pm on 26 Mar 2009, nick_fowler wrote:
With the economy collapsing all around him, Sir Fred thought he'd find somewhere stable to relax

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141. At 2:07pm on 26 Mar 2009, nick_fowler wrote:
Sir Fred plans an offshore investment - buying Guernsey

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142. At 2:08pm on 26 Mar 2009, nick_fowler wrote:
John "Two Decks" Prescott finds a brief moment to relax

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143. At 2:08pm on 26 Mar 2009, Fi-Glos wrote:
"What do you mean I can't claim expenses for this second deckchair? I have been completely compliant with all the regulations around the allowances for second garden furniture..."

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144. At 2:09pm on 26 Mar 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
Google Down-to-Earth sighting

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145. At 2:09pm on 26 Mar 2009, mumofwun wrote:
no! you can't have this chair, i'm saving it for my bonus!

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146. At 2:09pm on 26 Mar 2009, Steele Hawker wrote:
Sometimes I think you only want me for those MI5 secrets I've just given you

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147. At 2:10pm on 26 Mar 2009, Jings-crivvens wrote:
MPs, recently embroiled in the "second homes" scandal, are now bending the rules on allowances for second chairs....

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148. At 2:11pm on 26 Mar 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
Recruiting bridge players was proving more difficult than anticipated

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149. At 2:11pm on 26 Mar 2009, JudgePix wrote:
Fern Britton's future plans revealed.

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150. At 2:13pm on 26 Mar 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
Les Chaises - solo edition

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151. At 2:16pm on 26 Mar 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
"There will always be at least one guest that overstays their welcome. That is what the Chey Tac is for, my dear."

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152. At 2:17pm on 26 Mar 2009, Magnum Carter wrote:
Deck Chairs and Their Lovers 5: Park it

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153. At 2:18pm on 26 Mar 2009, Magnum Carter wrote:
"What's this??? This isn't MY chewing gum you hussy!!!"

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154. At 2:20pm on 26 Mar 2009, Go Away Gordon Brown wrote:
Welcome to BBC News At 10. The main headlines tonight, FTSE 100 stock brokers slump along with share index for the first time since last Summer.

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155. At 2:22pm on 26 Mar 2009, Northern_Simon wrote:
Despite its rapidly reducing value, some M.P.s were determined to hang on to their Second Home Allowance.

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156. At 2:22pm on 26 Mar 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
Biker Funeral - the Schwinn version

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157. At 2:24pm on 26 Mar 2009, Dazzyv wrote:
The new RBS Chairman’s initiation ceremony was going to plan!

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158. At 2:26pm on 26 Mar 2009, jeremyha wrote:
As the Tsunami approached, his reaction was typically British.

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159. At 2:31pm on 26 Mar 2009, IndieSinger wrote:
"Get your hand of my thingh." said the Invisible Man.

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160. At 2:31pm on 26 Mar 2009, IndieSinger wrote:
"Get your hand of my thigh." said the Invisible Man.

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161. At 2:34pm on 26 Mar 2009, robmoo wrote:
Yoink!

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162. At 2:34pm on 26 Mar 2009, DesGusted wrote:
My goodness dear - you really have lost weight.

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163. At 2:35pm on 26 Mar 2009, youngWillz wrote:
It was another beautiful day in Festive Road. Mr Benn said "The hang with all these adventures!" and took his friend out to the park for a sunbathe. Suddenly, the shopkeeper mysteriously disappeared...

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164. At 2:36pm on 26 Mar 2009, eltelsopwith wrote:
Gordon was having that dream again but when he woke up Obama was never there

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165. At 2:37pm on 26 Mar 2009, youngWillz wrote:
In his sleep, the traveller subconsciously reveals which piece of hand luggage he is taking on the plane...

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166. At 2:39pm on 26 Mar 2009, youngWillz wrote:
Mad dog spots gathering storm and leaves Englishman to his own devices

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167. At 2:41pm on 26 Mar 2009, youngWillz wrote:
Passer By 1: "Where's Wally?"

Passer By 2: "He's the one sunbathing in a full suit in the sunshine"

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168. At 2:43pm on 26 Mar 2009, jtotheglo wrote:
Frodo proposed with the wrong ring!

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169. At 2:44pm on 26 Mar 2009, youngWillz wrote:
Park Warden: "Ahem please wake up sir, the hosepipe ban is still in force."

Gent (sleepily) "Hmmm...."

Park Warden: "Your flies are undone."

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170. At 2:46pm on 26 Mar 2009, youngWillz wrote:
Ventriloquist forgets to take dummy out of his bag...

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171. At 2:47pm on 26 Mar 2009, crazymurdav wrote:
After years of hiding his true feelings, Harry finally made his move on the Invisible Man

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172. At 2:47pm on 26 Mar 2009, SeanieSmith wrote:
On hearing news of a major banking crisis, FSA rearranges the deck chairs.

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173. At 2:48pm on 26 Mar 2009, SeanieSmith wrote:
On hearing news of a major banking crisis, FSA boss rearranges the deck chairs.

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174. At 2:48pm on 26 Mar 2009, eattherich wrote:
Even Predators deserve the chance to chill and catch some rays.

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175. At 2:48pm on 26 Mar 2009, eltelsopwith wrote:
The high level seminar for banking regulators
"Deckchair Rearranging - The Way Ahead" was already reaping dividends.

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176. At 2:50pm on 26 Mar 2009, eattherich wrote:
Spandau's first Concert in the Park in 20 years only got half the expected attendance.

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177. At 2:50pm on 26 Mar 2009, Brianonthecam wrote:
Just two hours earlier, Piers had lost another £200m on government gilts. Time for a power nap he thought - he didn't want to forfeit his bonus over such a tiddling amount.

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178. At 2:50pm on 26 Mar 2009, eattherich wrote:
Musical Chairs goes PC

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179. At 2:52pm on 26 Mar 2009, youngWillz wrote:
The Outdoor Festival Version of Frost/Nixon had been going well, until the actor playing Frost needed to go for a wee in the begonias

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180. At 2:53pm on 26 Mar 2009, turkishdan wrote:
To be honest, I'm more worried about the person who saw fit to take this picture.

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181. At 2:53pm on 26 Mar 2009, RC Robjohn wrote:
Jeff Grimes dreams of winning 'Blag - the picture fun game' with yet another witty caption......but he fails when he is abducted by two deckchairs from the planet Splurg who have been happily abducting humans since first landing at Macclesfield in 1887.

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182. At 2:54pm on 26 Mar 2009, eattherich wrote:
Deckchair 1 to deckchair 2
"Sorry this one's taken. You'll just have to get your own banker"

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183. At 2:56pm on 26 Mar 2009, youngWillz wrote:
Nigel reached for another ham sandwich. The smell of crackling was driving him crazy, but he just clouldn't work out where it was coming from...

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184. At 2:57pm on 26 Mar 2009, penny-farthing wrote:
Knackered Decker.

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185. At 2:57pm on 26 Mar 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
When furniture salesmen dream

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186. At 3:00pm on 26 Mar 2009, teazeldad wrote:
Bored of meals consisting entirely of flies, the 'Deckchairus Carnivorus" Venus fly traps had become ever more blatant and talented at snaring bigger pray

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187. At 3:00pm on 26 Mar 2009, SeanieSmith wrote:
"Leave me in peace, I haven't broken any rules - this one is my main residence and that one is my constituency home."

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188. At 3:02pm on 26 Mar 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
Even the neighbourhood watch lacked motivation after the subprime mortgage crisis

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189. At 3:03pm on 26 Mar 2009, Helenepitpony wrote:
Critics complain of 'lack of realism' in The Boat That Rocked.

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190. At 3:04pm on 26 Mar 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
"But croquet is such an exciting game, Harold."

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191. At 3:10pm on 26 Mar 2009, Spockter Doc wrote:
Bagsy, this one too.

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192. At 3:11pm on 26 Mar 2009, Kudosless wrote:

"Dammit" thought Papa "Nicole's pinched the car again"

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193. At 3:13pm on 26 Mar 2009, Steele Hawker wrote:
The man who names IKEA products had a feel and said "Knunc"

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194. At 3:14pm on 26 Mar 2009, Spockter Doc wrote:
Day 1 in the Big Brother - British Summer Garden. Brian gets the best chair. His chances look good as there is only 1 day remaining.

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195. At 3:15pm on 26 Mar 2009, SeanieSmith wrote:
"Ahhh, it's far too nice to be judging the Caption Competition today...and such a pity that cable just fell out of the back of the Monitor computer."

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196. At 3:15pm on 26 Mar 2009, Spockter Doc wrote:
Man sits in deck chair next to old bag.

But then she gets up to look for an ice cream

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197. At 3:20pm on 26 Mar 2009, Kudosless wrote:

Sir Alex keeps Man Utd's defence training in all weathers

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198. At 3:21pm on 26 Mar 2009, kipperonthefloor-The Dog and Trout Inn at A44322987, A great place to have a Christmas Knees-up! wrote:
Darling, Did you see that picture of the dinosaur and the girl, apparently it escaped.
Darling?

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199. At 3:22pm on 26 Mar 2009, Rockahula wrote:
Coldplay hold festival-goers enthralled on Glastonbury's new 'Dadrock Stage'.

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200. At 3:22pm on 26 Mar 2009, samw783 wrote:
I'm saving it for my German friend - he forgot his towel.

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201. At 3:28pm on 26 Mar 2009, allabouttowler wrote:
This years Woolworth's staff picnic had a far higher turnout than expected, but there are concerns that overspending on the seating may come back to haunt them...

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202. At 3:28pm on 26 Mar 2009, Mersonwastheperson wrote:
Bert decided to beat the Germans to it by draping himself over the deckchair a good three months before them.

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203. At 3:29pm on 26 Mar 2009, littleDickie wrote:
"Do you really think my bum looks that big...?"

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204. At 3:31pm on 26 Mar 2009, littleDickie wrote:
"Oi Nuala, where are you...?

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205. At 3:32pm on 26 Mar 2009, Steele Hawker wrote:
Harry's deckchair company looked as if it might be folding ...

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206. At 3:33pm on 26 Mar 2009, Steele Hawker wrote:
"Paper's easy - I'm into wood and fabric origami now," bragged Kevin

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207. At 3:34pm on 26 Mar 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
Sleep Deprivation - Know the Risks

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208. At 3:47pm on 26 Mar 2009, charlotte-rhodes wrote:
Unfortunately, two days after this man had been filmed by the BBC regional news, and dozens of passing tourists, it was discovered that he was in fact DEAD.
We would like to apologise, most sincerely, for allowing him to be used for the BBC website Caption Competition, and will be sending all the suggested Captions to his wife, to cheer her up at this very sad time.
Greater Manchester Police are seeking the tall blonde woman last seen occupying the other deckchair.

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209. At 3:51pm on 26 Mar 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
"No, don't bother to wake your father. We've got his car keys, wallet and credit cards."

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210. At 4:02pm on 26 Mar 2009, supertradge wrote:
As the Germans start to feel the credit crunch they run out of beach towels

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211. At 4:04pm on 26 Mar 2009, Tremorman wrote:
Herr Muller didn't have a towel so he had been there all night.

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212. At 4:07pm on 26 Mar 2009, Spockter Doc wrote:
The real reason for the credit crunch... It was too hot & the bankers just couldn't be arsed so they sat around in the sun all day, airing their wallets

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213. At 4:07pm on 26 Mar 2009, Tremorman wrote:
He had camped overnight for the sale and the main bargain was a pair of deckchairs.

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214. At 4:09pm on 26 Mar 2009, Spockter Doc wrote:
Tales of the Riverbank Part II.

Mr Merchant-the-banker spends his hard earned bonus

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215. At 4:09pm on 26 Mar 2009, Goffee wrote:
In his dream, the leg belonged to Cameron Diaz

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216. At 4:14pm on 26 Mar 2009, Steele Hawker wrote:
Derek would just have to lose weight - every time he sat in a deckchair, it sank two feet into the ground

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217. At 4:15pm on 26 Mar 2009, hab318princess wrote:
honestly, if he wanted me to reserve the second chair, he should have brought a towel

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218. At 4:18pm on 26 Mar 2009, Tremorman wrote:
oh come on darling i didn@t mean it when i said this ones yours because you have the biggest bum

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219. At 4:19pm on 26 Mar 2009, Steele Hawker wrote:
Gordon was just going to go back to his BBC office to edit the daily letters for Magazine Monitor when he remembered it was Thursday

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220. At 4:20pm on 26 Mar 2009, dandar001 wrote:
Despite being forced to give back 90% of his bonus, the CEO of AIG wasn't giving up without a fight..

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221. At 4:24pm on 26 Mar 2009, mikewhitcombe wrote:
Have you finished with my walled, darling?

Darling...?

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222. At 4:24pm on 26 Mar 2009, Helenepitpony wrote:
While Joe dozed, Petunia was up to no good with the coastguard.

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223. At 4:25pm on 26 Mar 2009, Steele Hawker wrote:
The N.U.T. had organised a Twochairs' Conference

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224. At 4:26pm on 26 Mar 2009, ArgieWizard wrote:
Darling, I know the public hates my kind for this whole damned recession business, but on days like this the crisis seems awfully trivial, don't you think? Darling?

Darling?!

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225. At 4:27pm on 26 Mar 2009, Fiz-Faz-Foz wrote:
Crowds arrive for Radio 4's Moneybox Live - The ISA tour.

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226. At 4:28pm on 26 Mar 2009, virtualindividual wrote:
Actually "The Empty Chair" is a well-known method of psychological therapy.....

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227. At 4:30pm on 26 Mar 2009, CamberwellBeauty wrote:
the clash of stripes with the tie made Mr. Tax collector feel quite faint...

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228. At 4:31pm on 26 Mar 2009, Steele Hawker wrote:
Harold was confused - surely a dec-chair should hold ten people?

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229. At 4:31pm on 26 Mar 2009, Steele Hawker wrote:
Even bowls was too exciting for some

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230. At 4:33pm on 26 Mar 2009, Northern_Simon wrote:
Sweeney Todd's prototype

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231. At 4:34pm on 26 Mar 2009, Steele Hawker wrote:
Gerald always paid for a second deckchair to rest his hand on - there was nothing he liked better than feeling the wind gently blowing through the hairs in his armpit

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232. At 4:34pm on 26 Mar 2009, clare_555 wrote:
Sir Fred just couldn't make do with one deck chair; like his fat cat colleagues he had to have a larger bonus one to cling onto to.

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233. At 4:37pm on 26 Mar 2009, clare_555 wrote:
A German banker got up early to save his pals deck chair, and forgot the towels......

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234. At 4:38pm on 26 Mar 2009, FiddieM wrote:
Sir Fred, get me a choc ice now that you're up.

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235. At 4:40pm on 26 Mar 2009, throbgusset wrote:
...but you can call me Stig ...

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236. At 4:42pm on 26 Mar 2009, mattcooke91 wrote:
I don't know why he's looking after that chair, his wife will be at least another hour with the Milkman.

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237. At 4:46pm on 26 Mar 2009, clare_555 wrote:
Mr Double- Decker on his annual holiday

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238. At 4:47pm on 26 Mar 2009, throbgusset wrote:
missing 'Apprentice' shows us his new Office

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239. At 4:47pm on 26 Mar 2009, Northern_Simon wrote:
No Deck Chairs Permitted (Except Guide Deck Chairs)

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240. At 4:47pm on 26 Mar 2009, Kieran Boyle wrote:
Even the lady high-jumper had seen through the 'outdoor séance' ruse.

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241. At 4:54pm on 26 Mar 2009, penny-farthing wrote:
A traumatic event early in Jim's life,involving his extraction from a deck-chair courtesy of the local fire department,meant he could not truly relax around them.

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242. At 5:09pm on 26 Mar 2009, John_Sevenoaks wrote:
Google defend picture of 'pixelated' man.

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243. At 5:10pm on 26 Mar 2009, Tableturn wrote:
Being married to "The World's Smallest Woman" did come with many logistical problems.

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244. At 5:11pm on 26 Mar 2009, Tableturn wrote:
Thinking he was asleep, deckchair tried to make a break for it.....

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245. At 5:14pm on 26 Mar 2009, NormanAS wrote:

Hello Simon. I'd recognise you anywhere.

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246. At 5:16pm on 26 Mar 2009, NormanAS wrote:

Max was able to take a well-earned break from shade

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247. At 5:16pm on 26 Mar 2009, MagicalFingers wrote:
God has created a partner for every living being, and I believe.

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248. At 5:16pm on 26 Mar 2009, QuizzerCol wrote:
So I opened a strong position on deckchairs. Then I decided that my holding could be highly leveraged... I'm not boring you, am I?

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249. At 5:18pm on 26 Mar 2009, NormanAS wrote:

Deckchair Jeckyll and Mr Hyde Park

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250. At 5:22pm on 26 Mar 2009, Rockahula wrote:
I know one of them's Ant and one's Deck but I can never remember which one's which...

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251. At 5:25pm on 26 Mar 2009, Tableturn wrote:
The Apprentice contestant's idea: "Speed Dating for Blind People in The Park" was struggling to generate any profit.

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252. At 5:25pm on 26 Mar 2009, KP_lcfcFan wrote:
Rockabye baby ....

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253. At 5:36pm on 26 Mar 2009, CGSKoo wrote:
Key Stage 1 curriculum, Learn Left from Right, issued to all staff at Mi5.

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254. At 5:38pm on 26 Mar 2009, KingBorg wrote:
For his bonus, John had pictured a different shedload of greenbacks.

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255. At 5:45pm on 26 Mar 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
And so it's the naughty chair for you, me laddie

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256. At 5:46pm on 26 Mar 2009, CGSKoo wrote:
Drastic cost cutting by budget airlines deemed to be 'unsafe'.

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257. At 5:58pm on 26 Mar 2009, nhinton1 wrote:
Alarming rise in "sleep greed" amongst city workers.

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258. At 6:07pm on 26 Mar 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
Never underestimate the power of touching wood

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259. At 6:14pm on 26 Mar 2009, SimonRooke wrote:
With the wind rippling the topsails, and his hand on the tiller, Brian steered his man o' war towards the Spanish galleon. It was all going so well, and then he woke...

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260. At 6:18pm on 26 Mar 2009, Rockahula wrote:
Alan could think of nothing more enjoyable than relaxing in the sun, touching cloth...

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261. At 6:23pm on 26 Mar 2009, Vicky S wrote:
Not many people know that MPs are allowed a second deck chair allowance.

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262. At 6:23pm on 26 Mar 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
Earlier on, before they dozed off, Fred admitted to John that he had submitted his Caption Competition entry via the Letters form.

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263. At 6:25pm on 26 Mar 2009, Vicky S wrote:
"I had such a funny dream dear, first there was a giraffe, then it turned into a dinosaur..."

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264. At 6:30pm on 26 Mar 2009, Vicky S wrote:
Edward knew the relationship was finally over when Briony had herself removed from the Park Google photograph.

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265. At 6:31pm on 26 Mar 2009, littleDickie wrote:
This is on behalf of JOHN from Coventry, who apparently smewhat inadvertently, sent his Caption entry for this week to the "Letters" wallahs, who binned it!

So now...

"Ah this is the life... sunshine, deckchair and hefty pension... what do you think Fred?... Fred...?"

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266. At 6:49pm on 26 Mar 2009, Dodie_James wrote:
As he slipped onto the Grande Corniche, gunning the 3.5 litre V6, his pockets full of nearly all the Casino's chips as he sped away from Scaramanga's numerous evil, yet incompetent, operatives, he glanced across at the beautiful, yet occasionally surly, Holly and smiled. All was well in Mr Arthur Smethwick's lunch break..

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267. At 6:53pm on 26 Mar 2009, nigelmccc wrote:
I can't hold down a job, but...

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268. At 6:54pm on 26 Mar 2009, nigelmccc wrote:
M'lud, as you can see from the photo, my client was picking the Invisible Man's pocket accidentally in his sleep!

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269. At 6:55pm on 26 Mar 2009, nigelmccc wrote:
And our graphic shows how much the budget deficit will have grown by the next time the sun comes out.

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270. At 6:56pm on 26 Mar 2009, nigelmccc wrote:
Great idea for an identity parade. Pity I'll be the one to be picked out.

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271. At 6:58pm on 26 Mar 2009, Steele Hawker wrote:
Alton Towers just didn't have the same buzz since they'd opened their "Last of the Summer Wine" rides

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272. At 6:58pm on 26 Mar 2009, nigelmccc wrote:
Are you sure that deck chair testing is really the next task in The Apprentice.

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273. At 7:00pm on 26 Mar 2009, nigelmccc wrote:
Mini Me found a bottle labelled 'Drink Me', then...

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274. At 7:00pm on 26 Mar 2009, Dodie_James wrote:
The UK's Gilt auction was not completed for the first time in years. Which caused some consternation, since everyone had turned up and pressed their respective buttons as normal. All, it has to said, apart from the rep from RBS..

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275. At 7:01pm on 26 Mar 2009, nigelmccc wrote:
No, I said 'hair brush', not AIR brush!

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276. At 7:03pm on 26 Mar 2009, nigelmccc wrote:
Thanks to this deflation, you can get a tailored suit to keep the sun off cheaper than you can get a bottle of Factor 15.

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277. At 7:03pm on 26 Mar 2009, nigelmccc wrote:
The conjuror produced a deck chair from up his sleeve, and...

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278. At 7:05pm on 26 Mar 2009, nigelmccc wrote:
The bank has been on the blower. The sun has come out, so they want the deck chairs back.

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279. At 7:12pm on 26 Mar 2009, DavidDeeMoz wrote:
Of course, Ernie missed Eric terribly - but then, that "two old men" joke had started getting on his nerves.

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280. At 7:25pm on 26 Mar 2009, Michelley09 wrote:
As if the constant risk of collapse at the bank wasn't enough....

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281. At 7:27pm on 26 Mar 2009, Steele Hawker wrote:
Since Mr. Bradford had passed away, Mr. Bingley just couldn't bear to wear their trademark bowler hats any more

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282. At 7:30pm on 26 Mar 2009, Dodie_James wrote:
You're not really here for the Grand Prix, are you?

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283. At 7:37pm on 26 Mar 2009, Steele Hawker wrote:
The Sun had just come out, so Gerald put away his Financial Times and looked at page three instead

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284. At 7:37pm on 26 Mar 2009, Kipson wrote:
Nobody wants to sit next to someone who wears brown shoes with a blue suit.

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285. At 7:39pm on 26 Mar 2009, Kipson wrote:
Having checked that the Rolex was a fake Gloria made a swift exit.

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286. At 7:41pm on 26 Mar 2009, Rob Falconer wrote:
The public could be reassured that their money was safe in the hands of banker Gerald Abercrombie, as was Gerald Abercrombie's favourite toy rabbit, Mr. Floppy

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287. At 7:52pm on 26 Mar 2009, Rob Falconer wrote:
"It's nice to have a little rest, isn't it?" Detective-Inspector Lyons said to the prisoner he was handcuffed to

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288. At 7:58pm on 26 Mar 2009, rechenmacherhaus wrote:
Now that I'm working short time we can spend more afternoons in the sun together.

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289. At 8:17pm on 26 Mar 2009, Irish-Di wrote:
So then I upgraded to the ZXC 2.25, sexiest little thing you ever saw, I'll show it to you sometime...

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290. At 8:25pm on 26 Mar 2009, Dodie_James wrote:
Me? Forgetful?

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291. At 8:25pm on 26 Mar 2009, jumpycheese wrote:
A German worker reserves a deckchair for his wife.

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292. At 8:26pm on 26 Mar 2009, Vicky S wrote:
Then Goldmansachs sat in Baby Bear's chair - and it was just right!

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293. At 8:27pm on 26 Mar 2009, alegrias3 wrote:
It was just another day for Spandau Ballet's agent...

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294. At 8:34pm on 26 Mar 2009, Rob Falconer wrote:
Harry was bound to win the BBC's caption competition this week - they were the best captions he'd ever written. So he popped them all into the "Send us a letter" form and went off to relax in the park.

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295. At 8:44pm on 26 Mar 2009, Hobbitmorley wrote:
Come and put your bottom on these stripes Darling, before I put stripes on your bottom.

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296. At 9:30pm on 26 Mar 2009, sarahtrieste wrote:
I want to be cremated in the open air.

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297. At 9:53pm on 26 Mar 2009, alegrias3 wrote:
"It's rather odd that my lad volunteered to paint the roof, but I'll just relax and let him get on with it..."

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298. At 9:58pm on 26 Mar 2009, WebsiteCopy wrote:
Depression: Even after the downsizing exercise, Barry's absent senior manager STILL got a more expensive chair.

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299. At 10:03pm on 26 Mar 2009, kevthebrit wrote:
Mmmm! If only that woman from the office were here!

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300. At 10:09pm on 26 Mar 2009, fastwelshdragon wrote:
All in a days work

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301. At 10:13pm on 26 Mar 2009, livinghaggis007 wrote:
Did they say "All hands on deck"

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302. At 10:34pm on 26 Mar 2009, zapateados wrote:
"Hmmmm...fiscal stimulus, asset leverage, quantitative easing...oh yes, baby!"

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303. At 10:37pm on 26 Mar 2009, zapateados wrote:
"Oh yes dear, it's so nice to come on holiday with you and forget all about work at the HSE..."

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304. At 10:48pm on 26 Mar 2009, Vicky S wrote:
Candidate 289 in training for his Gorman Plinth moment.

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305. At 10:58pm on 26 Mar 2009, Darg11 wrote:
Henry sat and waited for the IPL to start.

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306. At 11:26pm on 26 Mar 2009, lynlyn1953 wrote:
Yes, you are coming through, i have a lady called Mavis, hankerchief, red swimsuit, sunglasses, she has a message for you, "it,s gonna piss down any minute"

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307. At 11:34pm on 26 Mar 2009, chappers009 wrote:
I wouldn't sit there, Shaq's just away to get some choc ices in.

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308. At 11:40pm on 26 Mar 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
Wonder if I can get a tan like TB did in his garden...

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309. At 00:06am on 27 Mar 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
It was an Alfred E Neuman sort of day

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310. At 00:07am on 27 Mar 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
What? Me work?

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311. At 00:50am on 27 Mar 2009, Adabells wrote:
Fred the banker showed how worried he was for his savers money and the state of the credit crunch!

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312. At 01:17am on 27 Mar 2009, CimbaGigi wrote:
I got my finger stuck in the sunlounger and now can't do downward dog...

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313. At 01:18am on 27 Mar 2009, GeoffBrady wrote:
Zis is ze life! Vot credit crunch?

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314. At 01:38am on 27 Mar 2009, littleDickie wrote:
"Anytime now, someone at the BBC will hit the wrong button and we shall have another Thursday episode of 'GREMLINS ABOUNDING
IN THE CAPTION COMPETITION ANNALS' and another new Friday will signal a new spate of hopelessness...."

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315. At 02:44am on 27 Mar 2009, penny-farthing wrote:
Once again Jim was having that dream....of that fateful night and the urgent cry of "All hands on deck!".

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316. At 05:06am on 27 Mar 2009, sarahtrieste wrote:
"And you wanted to go to Brighton Pier...."

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317. At 07:46am on 27 Mar 2009, Rob Falconer wrote:
After the PM and the Queen had discussed reform, some of the more distant members of the Royal Fmaily were a little upset at their thrones

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318. At 07:48am on 27 Mar 2009, Rob Falconer wrote:
Sir David Jason's joke-writer waits for him to phone to arrange another script conference

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319. At 07:51am on 27 Mar 2009, OGNash wrote:
Ey-oop! It's a Wigan Peer!

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320. At 07:54am on 27 Mar 2009, U13889492 wrote:
....one is useful when the climate is fair, folds easily under pressure and is redolent of an age gone by... The other is a deck chair.

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321. At 07:59am on 27 Mar 2009, nick_fowler wrote:
The deckchairs might be free now, but chat shows were a lot duller since the Parky had retired

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322. At 08:00am on 27 Mar 2009, nick_fowler wrote:
Sir Gerald's wife always thought he said he was tied to his desk-chair all day

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323. At 08:02am on 27 Mar 2009, nick_fowler wrote:
The deckchair attendant had been trained at the Promotions Department of Tesco

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324. At 08:03am on 27 Mar 2009, nick_fowler wrote:
Nobody believed Sir Fred Goodwin when he said he had a friend to keep it for

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325. At 08:07am on 27 Mar 2009, W_K_Snowdon wrote:
Some bankers were camping out to get the best seats for the G20 demonstrations..

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326. At 08:23am on 27 Mar 2009, nick_fowler wrote:
Sir Fred invited all his friiends around for his birthday party

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327. At 08:27am on 27 Mar 2009, NotMeHonest wrote:
The 'first Apprentice' who 'bottled it' before the show even started was increasingly sure he'd made the right decision.

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328. At 08:31am on 27 Mar 2009, hyperpatch wrote:
It's such a gorgeous day, I think we should strip to our underwear darling... darling? Darling?!?

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329. At 08:31am on 27 Mar 2009, HughMcKinney wrote:
The parks' answer to the credit crunch - two for one deckchair offer.

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330. At 08:35am on 27 Mar 2009, samanthalodge wrote:
He fell asleep when the conversation became wooden

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331. At 08:39am on 27 Mar 2009, MJF_dodo wrote:
Germany 2 England 0

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332. At 08:43am on 27 Mar 2009, friendlyOssiecat wrote:
I never thought I'd see the day when bankers would meet in secret to hand over a bag of cash so that their bonuses can be kept under the mattress.

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333. At 08:46am on 27 Mar 2009, SimonRooke wrote:
You're never alone with a split personality.

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334. At 08:48am on 27 Mar 2009, SimonRooke wrote:
The hidden cost of multiple personality disorder, double the price for a doze in the sun.

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335. At 08:49am on 27 Mar 2009, Valerie Ganne wrote:
The Police laid on a trap fior the jewel thieves, but nobody seemed interested in the bag marked "Ratners"

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336. At 08:51am on 27 Mar 2009, Valerie Ganne wrote:
They were a big hit, these high-tech deckchairs with a built-in snooze button

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337. At 08:56am on 27 Mar 2009, Valerie Ganne wrote:
The Daily Express reports that the average amount of space needed by a Londoner to relax in is the length of one double-deckchair

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338. At 08:56am on 27 Mar 2009, GirlWeekday wrote:
006 shows why Bond is still the best

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339. At 09:02am on 27 Mar 2009, Valerie Ganne wrote:
Proof that the sward is mightier than the pen

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340. At 09:07am on 27 Mar 2009, nickson1 wrote:
Government Official explains that the loss of 25 million names and addresses held on his laptop was due to a momentary lapse of concentration.

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341. At 09:09am on 27 Mar 2009, TooSensible wrote:
Get off me! And stop touching my wife's leg!

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342. At 09:19am on 27 Mar 2009, MJF_dodo wrote:
"You know, most people find me boring but I'm glad you're not most people."

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343. At 09:21am on 27 Mar 2009, Valerie Ganne wrote:
After John Prescott had sat on his hand in the adjoining deckchair, Gerald found he had absolutely no feeling whatsoever in his left arm

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344. At 09:22am on 27 Mar 2009, megalomanimatt wrote:
"Brown shoes with a black suit? No wonder you're alone"

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345. At 09:23am on 27 Mar 2009, Valerie Ganne wrote:
Luckily Pinocchio was safely ensconced in his bag and couldn't see what was going on

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346. At 09:23am on 27 Mar 2009, HarveyReid wrote:
I'm saving this one for Sir Alan.

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347. At 09:35am on 27 Mar 2009, haggis1876 wrote:
The recession created a better class of down and out.

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348. At 09:38am on 27 Mar 2009, ainvan wrote:
The 'two for one' offer proved irresistible to some, albeit a little impracticable.

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349. At 09:45am on 27 Mar 2009, Tableturn wrote:
Google Street View comes under scrutiny again, after being used by businesses to spy on employees.

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350. At 09:47am on 27 Mar 2009, ainvan wrote:
Richards breakdown became more pubic as time went on, last week he took a hat stand to the pictures.

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351. At 09:50am on 27 Mar 2009, muchosimpatico wrote:
Me. Last year. After getting my bonus. Feels soooo good.

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352. At 09:51am on 27 Mar 2009, haggis1876 wrote:
Since the end of the cold war the exchange of attache cases had ground to a halt. Ivan wasn't complaining.

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353. At 09:52am on 27 Mar 2009, Mute Joe wrote:
We are the ultimate in no-frills airlines. Passengers may pay a premium if they wish to have additional luxuries on their flight such as hold luggage, in-flight meals, an aeroplane around them, other passengers to sit with and so on, but all seats are fully reclining, we offer unprecedented levels of leg-room and the cabin air quality far outstrips all of our main competitors.

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354. At 10:00am on 27 Mar 2009, Beegle81 wrote:
The ultimate in lifestyle partners for the busy city man 'Invisible Girlfriend'. Doesn't nag, make you clean up and is even happy to let you touch her leg in public...

Why grow up?

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355. At 10:03am on 27 Mar 2009, SeanieSmith wrote:
Banking regulator oversees sowing of grass seed.

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356. At 10:04am on 27 Mar 2009, astoundingAndi wrote:
Fred Goodwin found that his reduced pension affected his ability to take the best advantage of the 'two for one' offer at DFS, even with their never-ending sales.

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357. At 10:13am on 27 Mar 2009, ELIVSLIVES wrote:
Many think the other chair is empty ..

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358. At 10:13am on 27 Mar 2009, CairngormMcWomble wrote:
With new demonstration events being announced for the 2012 games, the sunbed reservation relay team ramped up their training schedule.

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359. At 10:14am on 27 Mar 2009, Whitbylassie wrote:
Wilhelm was practising for his holiday by the pool in Majorca this year, but, as he'd forgotten his towel, he'd had to improvise..

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360. At 10:14am on 27 Mar 2009, peter68 wrote:
Men are from Mars, women are from Venus Deckchair hire; tall and elegant, but they don't talk back

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361. At 10:15am on 27 Mar 2009, TVRGriffGirl wrote:
...and not only that, I can tell you the exact amount of earth that had be excavated to ..... let me know if I am boring you dear ..

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362. At 10:17am on 27 Mar 2009, haggis1876 wrote:
No tory was safe while the League of Ex-Miners were still digging!

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363. At 10:18am on 27 Mar 2009, peter68 wrote:
Barry always considered Doreen the Deckchair his real partner, so stroking her timber struts and canvas seating was his sign of affection.

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364. At 10:20am on 27 Mar 2009, peter68 wrote:
Sarah had left John 10 years ago due to his copying his hero Mr Benn and wearing his suit everywhere, but he continued to keep up this facade...

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365. At 10:21am on 27 Mar 2009, peter68 wrote:
Deckchair may have been old, dusty and full of cobwebs, but she was good with the kids!

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366. At 10:22am on 27 Mar 2009, dry_boak wrote:
It was a family tradition to grip an adjacent chair whilst breaking wind.

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367. At 10:25am on 27 Mar 2009, ainvan wrote:
Richards first attempt at protesting did not go down too well with other 'Fathers for Justice' members. A spokesman commented that they could not condone anyone who dressed up as a city banker and hand-cuffed themselves to a deck-chair.

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368. At 10:25am on 27 Mar 2009, TVRGriffGirl wrote:
Mr Jones took a moment to reflect on his once budding career, then smiled as he pondered how much he could get for his Lehman Brothers biro on e-bay!

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369. At 10:26am on 27 Mar 2009, ammason999 wrote:
The Whitestripes fan club (banking division)

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370. At 10:28am on 27 Mar 2009, peter68 wrote:
How much longer could Doreen the Deckchair put up with this abuse?

Unfortunately her predicament was ranked 925th out of 927 in the local authority needy causes; just above odd socks who have lost their partners and will to exist and people who put amusing banners on the back of their cars, and yet ironically have no sense of humour

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371. At 10:30am on 27 Mar 2009, peter68 wrote:
With a deckchair in one hand and his small, magical pixie in the other, Gerald drifted contentedly off to sleep

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372. At 10:31am on 27 Mar 2009, peter68 wrote:
The Open Prison day release programme saw yet another escapee

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373. At 10:32am on 27 Mar 2009, peter68 wrote:
He was tired, but perhaps the Hanger Lane Gyratory system wasn't the best place to sleep

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374. At 10:37am on 27 Mar 2009, FM wrote:
The financial crisis meant George could no longer afford his top of the range massage chair

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375. At 10:37am on 27 Mar 2009, peter68 wrote:
'Ooh you sexy beast' sighed the deckchair.

Unfortunately, this came out in human terms as a gentle squeak.

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376. At 10:39am on 27 Mar 2009, W_K_Snowdon wrote:
The crowd had dispersed; the band had packed up and gone long ago. But Gerald was still dreaming of who he would meet, some enchanted evening..

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377. At 10:39am on 27 Mar 2009, peter68 wrote:
Bob's new Deckchair ejector seat had thus far rid him of 2 men, 1 woman, a small child and a little squirrel called Percy

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378. At 10:40am on 27 Mar 2009, W_K_Snowdon wrote:
or..

The crowd had dispersed; the band had packed up and gone long ago. But Gerald was still happily musing on the ironic lyrics of that last number, "Fidelity Fiduciary Bank" from Mary Poppins..

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379. At 10:46am on 27 Mar 2009, EngineeredSunshine wrote:
This little nap won't cost me my job - touch wood!

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380. At 10:53am on 27 Mar 2009, nick_fowler wrote:
After last week's caption competition picture, this week's features the soon-to-be-extinct well-paid City banker

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381. At 10:55am on 27 Mar 2009, nick_fowler wrote:
Kenneth was old enough to remember when Cliff Richard concerts were a sell-out

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382. At 10:58am on 27 Mar 2009, Brook42 wrote:
The more Jeffrey stroked it, the bigger it got.

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383. At 10:58am on 27 Mar 2009, aloysius72 wrote:
I know its the recession darling, but we don't need material things to live, do we?

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384. At 11:00am on 27 Mar 2009, iansessford wrote:
The man from the met office forecast sunny spells but suspected strong winds later in the day.

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385. At 11:00am on 27 Mar 2009, Lloyd-Barnes wrote:
Another MP caught abusing his second chair allowance

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386. At 11:05am on 27 Mar 2009, Vicky S wrote:
"ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ"

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387. At 11:08am on 27 Mar 2009, jellyba wrote:
But it is just like a real holiday isn't it love? Love?

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388. At 11:09am on 27 Mar 2009, John_Sevenoaks wrote:
Crunch-beating technique No. 7 - hibernation.

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389. At 11:10am on 27 Mar 2009, radioactivechiara wrote:
I told you there was a silver lining to being made redundant. Your chair's ready and waiting for when they make the next round.

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390. At 11:13am on 27 Mar 2009, John_Sevenoaks wrote:
Long-range weather forecast brings out the first of the Glastonbury faithful.

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391. At 11:13am on 27 Mar 2009, nick_fowler wrote:
Even though Bernard was on Death Row, his last wish was to try and make his exit as relaxing as possible

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392. At 11:14am on 27 Mar 2009, Jordan D wrote:
Proof at how Government laptops are lost.

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393. At 11:14am on 27 Mar 2009, hitbarker wrote:
Fred laid contently completely unaware his bag was open, and his wife had just left after hearing about a sale in Harrods

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394. At 11:17am on 27 Mar 2009, rogueslr wrote:
My client maintains that the photographic evidence shows the co-accused has been framed. And that concludes the case for the defence.

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395. At 11:17am on 27 Mar 2009, eattherich wrote:
The queue for Wimbledon tickets starts unusually early this year.

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396. At 11:17am on 27 Mar 2009, jellyba wrote:
Get an even tan .Take your bowler hat off.

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397. At 11:17am on 27 Mar 2009, david regan wrote:
Obvious flaws revealed by the newly unveiled Wimbledon Umpires Chair

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398. At 11:19am on 27 Mar 2009, jellyba wrote:
Keep your eyes shut and they won't notice I've trapped my finger

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399. At 11:20am on 27 Mar 2009, CGSKoo wrote:
‘Priorities explained’ security protocol, issued to Mi5 agents

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400. At 11:20am on 27 Mar 2009, John_Sevenoaks wrote:
"Gordon, you were asleep on the job - you're fired! Empty deck chair - you don't answer back. I like that - you're hired!"

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401. At 11:21am on 27 Mar 2009, leroy72 wrote:
"ikea present the 2009 corporate office range for credit hit bankers"

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402. At 11:23am on 27 Mar 2009, Researcher 224356 wrote:
Relax Dave, i'll just fetch health and safety to perform the ergonomic checks and we can then install into the office saving a fortune

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403. At 11:24am on 27 Mar 2009, haggis1876 wrote:
FAT CAT NAP!

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404. At 11:28am on 27 Mar 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
No matter how many times he had to straighten the deck chairs, his heart never sank.

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405. At 11:31am on 27 Mar 2009, squiggly_pete wrote:
the Invisibles always knew the importance of PEACE - so they eventually learned how to LOWER themselves - by mingling with the Despicables . . .

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406. At 11:32am on 27 Mar 2009, CBunclark wrote:
I'm sure the weather will stay like this until summer now. Touch wood...

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407. At 11:32am on 27 Mar 2009, Vicky S wrote:
Gerald was very confident that the Dragons would love his fold away mini deck chair that packed into a bag the size of a laptop.

Indeed, why shouldn't they?

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408. At 11:33am on 27 Mar 2009, Lovenkrands 8 my danish wrote:
Charles reached out for his packet of pacers only to find they had morphed into an exact replica of his deckchair.

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409. At 11:36am on 27 Mar 2009, Kudosless wrote:

It had taken all his energy, but at least Celtic FC's shirtmaker had now sourced enough material to ensure that Jan Vennegoor of Hesselink could have his name on his back, just like the others had.

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410. At 11:36am on 27 Mar 2009, spacelizards wrote:
These deck chairs were the only bonus I got this year, and I'm damned if I'm letting Brown get his hands on them.

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411. At 11:38am on 27 Mar 2009, Kudosless wrote:

How much wood would a wood chair share if a wood chair could share wood?

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412. At 11:39am on 27 Mar 2009, Lovenkrands 8 my danish wrote:
Having been warned not to reservere deckchairs by placing towels on them Wolgang staged an all day protest.

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413. At 11:42am on 27 Mar 2009, captioner wrote:
Sitting on the right hand of god - who is sitting on my hand.

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414. At 11:42am on 27 Mar 2009, squiggly_pete wrote:
being rejected at the 'Q' audition,

soaking in a quantity of sun,

he took a "quantum of SOLACE" rest,

and didn't care about whether he could
pack the chairs back into the magic bag . . .

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415. At 11:43am on 27 Mar 2009, Anti_Labour wrote:
Credit crunch hits flight simulators across UK, though banker with not much else to do stays on for a 3rd turn...

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416. At 11:43am on 27 Mar 2009, LordSurf wrote:
Forward Planning

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417. At 11:44am on 27 Mar 2009, Kudosless wrote:

On the bright side, Political Editor Nick Robinson could report that spending on chairs had increased for-fold

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418. At 11:45am on 27 Mar 2009, deejay wrote:
"Who's been sitting in my deckchair?" boomed a familiar voice as Goldilocks' father slept peacefully in Baby Bear's chair.

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419. At 11:45am on 27 Mar 2009, nick_fowler wrote:
Try as he might, Frankie just couldn't think of a title for his debut single

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420. At 11:48am on 27 Mar 2009, Kudosless wrote:

RyanAir's accountant closed his eyes to calculate how much extra they could charge for their new seating

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421. At 11:49am on 27 Mar 2009, TheBoltonsMum wrote:
Suspicions are aroused that the new government tagging system for repeat offenders is not as effective as first hoped.

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422. At 11:49am on 27 Mar 2009, MUZLER wrote:
Oh hello stella, care to join me??

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423. At 11:51am on 27 Mar 2009, Lovenkrands 8 my danish wrote:
In the latest crimewave to hit the local park, a pair of marauding deckchairs were mugging gentle city folk.

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424. At 11:52am on 27 Mar 2009, Scoutysue wrote:
The new DFS 'Back to Basics' range was proving quite comfortable.

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425. At 11:52am on 27 Mar 2009, haggis1876 wrote:
Putting a spin on "mixing the decks"

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426. At 11:54am on 27 Mar 2009, Lovenkrands 8 my danish wrote:
Gerald had waited for ages and then two came along at once.

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427. At 11:56am on 27 Mar 2009, Lovenkrands 8 my danish wrote:
The last items from the MFI stock clearance sale were being put through their pacers.

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428. At 11:57am on 27 Mar 2009, jammyrhona wrote:
Laid back chair-man enjoys bonus.

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429. At 11:58am on 27 Mar 2009, squiggly_pete wrote:
"due to technical problems (halfway this week) - Springtime was CANCELLED . . ."

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430. At 11:58am on 27 Mar 2009, simonf2906 wrote:
Sir Fred always got the big one!

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431. At 11:59am on 27 Mar 2009, Burnellroad wrote:
I've lost my job in the city, we've lost the house, the children have to come out of private school, and this is the only holiday we'll have this year, but we still have each other, don't we dear.....

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432. At 12:00pm on 27 Mar 2009, rogueslr wrote:
The life of a door to door deckchair salesman was tough.

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433. At 12:01pm on 27 Mar 2009, squiggly_pete wrote:
although she refused to appear - he insisted on making an ALLUSION to the cancelled lady from last week . . .

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434. At 12:01pm on 27 Mar 2009, peterstagg wrote:
With the current drop in interest rates, down and out Bob discovered he could afford the extension he always wanted.

All he had to do now was move.

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435. At 12:02pm on 27 Mar 2009, MUZLER wrote:
My chair in the stock-exchange shrank this week

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436. At 12:03pm on 27 Mar 2009, Lovenkrands 8 my danish wrote:
Bought as a BOGOF flat pack, Charles sat back exhausted as the easy to assemble instructions in spanish had proved too much.

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437. At 12:04pm on 27 Mar 2009, Offah's Dyke wrote:
The Invisible Man was indignant at such a violation of his personal space.

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438. At 12:04pm on 27 Mar 2009, Vicky S wrote:
Spring is sprung
The grass is riz
I wonder where the fat cats is
The fat cats sit and dream of cream
Ain't that a scream
When we all know the dream is creamed.

apologies to mr nash

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439. At 12:04pm on 27 Mar 2009, Scoutysue wrote:
I say.. pass the deckchair on the left hand side....

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440. At 12:05pm on 27 Mar 2009, haggis1876 wrote:
The Womble of Wimbeldon.

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441. At 12:05pm on 27 Mar 2009, MUZLER wrote:
mine used to be that big.....

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442. At 12:05pm on 27 Mar 2009, smartfoxesfan wrote:
Another Minister to face questions over location of "second home"

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443. At 12:06pm on 27 Mar 2009, nick_fowler wrote:
Gerald had always wanted double-grazing

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444. At 12:06pm on 27 Mar 2009, belcanto wrote:
This year members of the H G Wells appreciation society can take their partners to the open air reunion

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445. At 12:08pm on 27 Mar 2009, Leroyrampa23 wrote:
Another casualty of the credit crunch: provisions for the hat Bono left at home were limited to a seat in the park with a minder, rather than the customary seat in first class.

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446. At 12:09pm on 27 Mar 2009, nick_fowler wrote:
Harold had invested heavily in deck-chairs, but the bottom had clearly fallen out of the market

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447. At 12:10pm on 27 Mar 2009, MUZLER wrote:
Never mind "If ya snooze ya lose" i'm keeping this one

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448. At 12:10pm on 27 Mar 2009, nick_fowler wrote:
Edith had been gone a long time for those choc-ices ... maybe it had been a fire-engine, thought Harold

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449. At 12:10pm on 27 Mar 2009, carbon_paper wrote:
Buy-one-get-one-frees are not much use to bachelors, even in the recession.

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450. At 12:11pm on 27 Mar 2009, carbon_paper wrote:
Alan didn't realise his guide-dog had been secretly swapped for a deck-chair

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451. At 12:12pm on 27 Mar 2009, Vicky S wrote:
Gerald had had a long hard morning at the Treasury. Even with the help of his visual aid deckchairs, he wasn't sure that the Minister had fully understood his explanation of economic inflation and deflation.

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452. At 12:13pm on 27 Mar 2009, carbon_paper wrote:
You couldn't even see Alan's pet squirrel curled up in the deckchair

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453. At 12:13pm on 27 Mar 2009, carbon_paper wrote:
"You're pretty uptight for an invisible girl"

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454. At 12:14pm on 27 Mar 2009, Fauconnier wrote:
With his bag full of money, town planner Harold Godwit thought he'd have a few relaxing minutes in Hyde Park before they came to concrete it over

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455. At 12:15pm on 27 Mar 2009, tavrin_callas wrote:
As anarchist anti-banker protestors silently encircle him, John the fisherman will soon regret wearing his best suit to visit London - and using a laptop bag to carry his whelks.

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456. At 12:15pm on 27 Mar 2009, Fauconnier wrote:
ITV Programme Planner dreams up "The Hand on Deck Show"

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457. At 12:16pm on 27 Mar 2009, carbon_paper wrote:
Even though it had been a 2-for-1 offer, MP Tony McNulty had claimed expenses for both.

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458. At 12:19pm on 27 Mar 2009, david regan wrote:
The new MFI - Meadow Furniture Incorporated

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459. At 12:19pm on 27 Mar 2009, bartthesmart wrote:
"You've lost weight, dear..."

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460. At 12:20pm on 27 Mar 2009, RickyThunder - Man of Santa! wrote:
"Don't worry Sir Fred, you're perfectly safe here. Hiding in plain sight is a stroke of genius, don't you think?....Sir Fred? Sir?"

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461. At 12:21pm on 27 Mar 2009, david regan wrote:
I don't know, some people! Chair today gone tomorrow!

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462. At 12:23pm on 27 Mar 2009, david regan wrote:
Piers Morgan relaxes in the park with his mate!

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463. At 12:23pm on 27 Mar 2009, haggis1876 wrote:

Sundog millionaire!!

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464. At 12:24pm on 27 Mar 2009, Go Away Gordon Brown wrote:
Sir Fred Goodwin's head of home security was never around when he needed him

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465. At 12:25pm on 27 Mar 2009, Go Away Gordon Brown wrote:
Sleeping British holiday maker attempts to save the last deck chair by the pool from German tour bus party

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466. At 12:26pm on 27 Mar 2009, eattherich wrote:
If Clark Kent had opened his eyes and used his X-Ray vision he would have noticed that the Invisible Woman was sunbathing nude.

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467. At 12:26pm on 27 Mar 2009, W_K_Snowdon wrote:
And so, to bed..

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468. At 12:27pm on 27 Mar 2009, westdevonmoliwolf wrote:
The bag contained several gold ingots, but Sir James held on to the deck chair as he thought it was more valuable. All the while he had a lovely dream of retiring in two years from his job as chairman of a national bank.

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469. At 12:27pm on 27 Mar 2009, eattherich wrote:
Few tories had warmed to George Osborne's new idea: Conference in the Park.

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470. At 12:29pm on 27 Mar 2009, juanshow wrote:
All his hard work in tracking down Lord Lucan was undone when he fell asleep on the job.

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