Caption Competition

12:59 UK time, Friday, 23 January 2009

Winning entries in the caption competition.

The competition is now closed. Full rules can be seen here [PDF].

This week, an apple and a banana take part in the Talent Spot ice skating competition at London's Somerset House. But what's being said?

Thanks to all who entered. The prize of a small amount of kudos to the following:

6. Lynxboy252
The man from Del Monte, he says "severrrrn!"

5. grazvalentine
"I couldn't decide what to wear so just slipped on a banana skin."

4. nadine7346
Torvill & Dean perform Solero.

3. SimonRooke
Darren had a speeding ticket and Tracey had been done for parking, but their new-fangled community service high visibility vests could just cost them a medal.

2. SteeleHawker
But they knew their love was against all the laws of nature...

1. NorthernPunk
Imperfectly shaped fruit escapes from EU alpine detention centre.

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Comments

1. At 12:29pm on 22 Jan 2009, Rob Falconer wrote:
Not THE Barack O'Banana?

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2. At 12:37pm on 22 Jan 2009, stigmondo wrote:
And moments later we had the banana splits and the apple turnover..

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3. At 12:39pm on 22 Jan 2009, Rob Falconer wrote:
They were certainly the most ap-pealing

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4. At 12:40pm on 22 Jan 2009, penny-farthing wrote:
Oh no,don't look now,but here comes orange and cherry.....they're such show-offs.

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5. At 12:40pm on 22 Jan 2009, Steele Hawker wrote:
Not only are they great skaters, but they're part of your five-a-day too

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6. At 12:40pm on 22 Jan 2009, Magnum Carter wrote:
Cracks begin to appear in the government's new 5-a-day campaign.

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7. At 12:41pm on 22 Jan 2009, Neil wrote:
Steve Jobs' illness leads to impaired judgement, and Apple's new "iBanana" is a flop with consumers.

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8. At 12:42pm on 22 Jan 2009, penny-farthing wrote:
The frozen fruit section somehow looked a little different.

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9. At 12:42pm on 22 Jan 2009, Liam wrote:
Nothing can really beat number 2's comment... That's ace!

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10. At 12:43pm on 22 Jan 2009, PhilWal0 wrote:
"Please be careful, I bruise easily!"

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11. At 12:43pm on 22 Jan 2009, Steele Hawker wrote:
One slip and you're a smoothie

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12. At 12:44pm on 22 Jan 2009, gregss100x wrote:
'No! No! No! You peel off to the right!'

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13. At 12:45pm on 22 Jan 2009, Steele Hawker wrote:
Look, I'm sure I will enjoy my fruit muesli, just as soon as the milk defrosts

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14. At 12:45pm on 22 Jan 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
Honestly, can you stop talking about going for a smoothie afetrwards?

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15. At 12:45pm on 22 Jan 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
Honestly, can you stop talking about going for a smoothie afterwards?

(spelling)

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16. At 12:45pm on 22 Jan 2009, Magnum Carter wrote:
"I'm honoured, dear bananaman, but I'm afraid I only tango"

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17. At 12:45pm on 22 Jan 2009, phillymaus wrote:
Slippin' with a Pippin

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18. At 12:46pm on 22 Jan 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
Hey Mr Tallyman...

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19. At 12:47pm on 22 Jan 2009, stigmondo wrote:
If he says that spin was 'peachy' just one more time..

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20. At 12:47pm on 22 Jan 2009, Steele Hawker wrote:
But they knew their love was against all the laws of nature

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21. At 12:48pm on 22 Jan 2009, Magnum Carter wrote:
The duo won, by the skin of their teeth, and almost pipped at the post

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22. At 12:49pm on 22 Jan 2009, Steele Hawker wrote:
Watch out for that banana. If he slips, everybody slips.

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23. At 12:49pm on 22 Jan 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
If it's not too personal question, are you a Granny Smith?

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24. At 12:50pm on 22 Jan 2009, Neil wrote:
Free from the scrutiny of the Presidency, George Bush could finally relax, but, frankly, nobody saw this one coming.

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25. At 12:50pm on 22 Jan 2009, Magnum Carter wrote:
"Sorry about that mate, but the irony of a banana skin slipping on me was too much to pass up"

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26. At 12:50pm on 22 Jan 2009, Steele Hawker wrote:
Afterwards, the apple did an impromptu streak. Core!

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27. At 12:51pm on 22 Jan 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
If it's not too personal a question, are you a Granny?

(corrected)

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28. At 12:52pm on 22 Jan 2009, Magnum Carter wrote:
Fans are dubious over the new casting for Skins

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29. At 12:52pm on 22 Jan 2009, penny-farthing wrote:
The Chief Justice found the re-take of the oath of office,with some subtle alterations,more to his liking.

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30. At 12:53pm on 22 Jan 2009, SimonRooke wrote:
I find you very appealing.

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31. At 12:54pm on 22 Jan 2009, nick_fowler wrote:
As it was so cold, the banana had only been able to find a small Cox's

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32. At 12:54pm on 22 Jan 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
Theirs was a crisp and fresh routine, but they would soon be whipped by the yoghurt

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33. At 12:54pm on 22 Jan 2009, Magnum Carter wrote:
Dancing On Ice moves to ITV2

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34. At 12:56pm on 22 Jan 2009, phillymaus wrote:
lets try a pearouette.

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35. At 12:56pm on 22 Jan 2009, nick_fowler wrote:
The apple came second, being pipped at the post

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36. At 12:57pm on 22 Jan 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
"So, my little Chiquita", whispered the apple, "are you from Ecuador or Costa Rica?"

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37. At 12:57pm on 22 Jan 2009, phillymaus wrote:
keep your ice peeled

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38. At 12:58pm on 22 Jan 2009, SimonRooke wrote:
You give me the pip!

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39. At 12:58pm on 22 Jan 2009, Magnum Carter wrote:
"You dancing? 'Cos I'm a-skin"

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40. At 12:58pm on 22 Jan 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
Our costumes? They're from the Carmen Miranda collection.

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41. At 12:58pm on 22 Jan 2009, nick_fowler wrote:
The banana's suggestion for a cantilever was misunderstood, as the melon suddenly joined in

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42. At 12:59pm on 22 Jan 2009, nick_fowler wrote:
Wow, let's try a cherry-flip

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43. At 12:59pm on 22 Jan 2009, Ruaraidh Gillies wrote:
Hey - if an African-American can become President, who says an apple and a banana can't skate in the Pairs?

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44. At 1:00pm on 22 Jan 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
Peeling in this weather was out of bounds

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45. At 1:00pm on 22 Jan 2009, nick_fowler wrote:
Figure-skating? I thought you said the fig are skating.

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46. At 1:00pm on 22 Jan 2009, penny-farthing wrote:
Not impressed with their performance the judges simply ate these two contestants.

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47. At 1:01pm on 22 Jan 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
The years had not been kind to the Fruit of the Loom guys

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48. At 1:02pm on 22 Jan 2009, Magnum Carter wrote:
Blades, skins and ice. Its just a night out in Hackney.

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49. At 1:03pm on 22 Jan 2009, nick_fowler wrote:
Any second now, we're going to get a fruit cocktail

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50. At 1:04pm on 22 Jan 2009, Beegle81 wrote:
My darling, although we dance with a truly fruitful passion we can never win, you see we are in the Pears Figure Skating division...

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51. At 1:04pm on 22 Jan 2009, OurSwipe wrote:
The Banana winced as the apple tripped and crushed his plums !

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52. At 1:04pm on 22 Jan 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
Blades of Glory II - Who's the Top Banana?

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53. At 1:05pm on 22 Jan 2009, OurSwipe wrote:
The apple admired the banana's skating costume, as it showed off her nice pear !

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54. At 1:05pm on 22 Jan 2009, penny-farthing wrote:
Don't let me fall,banana,I bruise very easily.

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55. At 1:06pm on 22 Jan 2009, Neil wrote:
Are you pleased to see me or is that a ... oh, never mind.

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56. At 1:07pm on 22 Jan 2009, MattHardcastle wrote:
Hello and welcome to the Childeren's TV Ice Skating Championships 2009, you join me now as Wizbit and Zip-pea take to the ice in this the first round of what I'm sure will be a very interesting and exciting contest. Let's all sit back now and wonder just what the hell is going on.

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57. At 1:07pm on 22 Jan 2009, OurSwipe wrote:
An interesting metaphor for the current economic climate !

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58. At 1:07pm on 22 Jan 2009, nick_fowler wrote:
Shackleton's descendants were shocked at the extent of global warming in Antarctica

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59. At 1:08pm on 22 Jan 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
But I WANTED to be a kiwi!

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60. At 1:09pm on 22 Jan 2009, NormanAS wrote:

"No, I can't tell who you are..." said the apple "...but from the shape, I'm guessing John Curry"

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61. At 1:10pm on 22 Jan 2009, Neil wrote:
Scientists studying the antarctic showed that the temperatures were indeed rising, but they questioned whether they should publish the other phenomenon they found there.

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62. At 1:11pm on 22 Jan 2009, NormanAS wrote:

Talent Spot entrants fruit to the final

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63. At 1:11pm on 22 Jan 2009, Manisha wrote:
Now this is what Masterchef is all about

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64. At 1:11pm on 22 Jan 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
EU regulations only allowed two out of the basket at a time

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65. At 1:12pm on 22 Jan 2009, penny-farthing wrote:
What am I doing later? Now steady on....you're being a little fresh.

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66. At 1:12pm on 22 Jan 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
And next up Dancing with the Pears

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67. At 1:14pm on 22 Jan 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
New diversity rules meant the pears competition would be even tougher

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68. At 1:15pm on 22 Jan 2009, gabsteruk wrote:
OK, you be Torville, I'll be Dean and together we will dance the Solero

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69. At 1:17pm on 22 Jan 2009, NormanAS wrote:

Geest appearance at the Gala

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70. At 1:17pm on 22 Jan 2009, John_Sevenoaks wrote:
"Third time lucky, Mr President. and no more slip-ups."

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71. At 1:18pm on 22 Jan 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
The UK's quest for a Eurovision winner was not proving fruitful

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72. At 1:18pm on 22 Jan 2009, Rob Falconer wrote:
The apple was disappointed, as she had been expecting to dance wth the first President of Zimbabwe

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73. At 1:18pm on 22 Jan 2009, UKTroll wrote:
EU replaces rules about fruit sizes with even more bizarre requirements.

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74. At 1:18pm on 22 Jan 2009, sacarkent wrote:
Chris was a little disappointed when it became clear what Jayne had meant by "getting fruity with him".

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75. At 1:21pm on 22 Jan 2009, ainvan wrote:
...........and now the scores from the judges........"fife, fife, and fife".

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76. At 1:21pm on 22 Jan 2009, SimonRooke wrote:
Did you know there are three 'F's in Fyffes.

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77. At 1:21pm on 22 Jan 2009, John_Sevenoaks wrote:
This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the House Rules.
78. At 1:22pm on 22 Jan 2009, UKTroll wrote:
The Dancing on Ice judge decided that in future he'd stick to plain water in his glass.

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79. At 1:23pm on 22 Jan 2009, Rob Falconer wrote:
For the finale, they were joined by David Dickinson

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80. At 1:23pm on 22 Jan 2009, NormanAS wrote:

The pick of the contestants

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81. At 1:25pm on 22 Jan 2009, John_Sevenoaks wrote:
Torville & Dean's comeback will feature Ravell's 'Bowl of Fruit'.

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82. At 1:26pm on 22 Jan 2009, G0ng00zle wrote:
Brand: I thought you said your great comeback was gonna be in the 'Big Apple' not as an apple..

Ross: Oh don't be such a 'nana!

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83. At 1:26pm on 22 Jan 2009, UKTroll wrote:
Clearly attempts to get overweight children to take up ice skating weren't working...

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84. At 1:27pm on 22 Jan 2009, Rob Falconer wrote:
As a tribute to David Vine, it's "Ski Sundae"

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85. At 1:30pm on 22 Jan 2009, Ruaraidh Gillies wrote:
Hey - if an African-American can become President, who says we have to be pears?

(variation on my previous entry)

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86. At 1:30pm on 22 Jan 2009, penny-farthing wrote:
A combination of very sharp blades and an unfortunate slip by banana led to apple going to pieces on the ice.

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87. At 1:30pm on 22 Jan 2009, rogueslr wrote:
Doreen we can't keep meeting like this, my wife is starting to suspect.

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88. At 1:33pm on 22 Jan 2009, UKTroll wrote:
The judge's comment that he loved Fruit Loops had been misinterpreted by the contestants.

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89. At 1:34pm on 22 Jan 2009, KiltDude32 wrote:
You're a bad apple... go to time-out.

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90. At 1:35pm on 22 Jan 2009, scottywalds wrote:
And this dance is called... "The Smoothy"

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91. At 1:35pm on 22 Jan 2009, rogueslr wrote:
Nobody move, I've dropped my contact lens.

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92. At 1:35pm on 22 Jan 2009, Rob Falconer wrote:
Uch! What's this floating on my Guinness?

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93. At 1:36pm on 22 Jan 2009, penny-farthing wrote:
I saw Tomato back there......I'm sorry but she doesn't belong here!

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94. At 1:58pm on 22 Jan 2009, Marquee wrote:
The government puts the healthy eating campaign on ice...

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95. At 1:59pm on 22 Jan 2009, rogueslr wrote:
Genetically modified fruit presented a different kind of problem for the Olympic Committee.

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96. At 1:59pm on 22 Jan 2009, ashSNhero wrote:
"Even at my age, I can still show the youngsters a thing or two", said Granny Smith

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97. At 2:00pm on 22 Jan 2009, Marquee wrote:
If you ask me one more time if I want to make a fruit salad with you, you're skating on thin ice...

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98. At 2:02pm on 22 Jan 2009, j-o-n-a-t-h-a-n wrote:
At long last, Jane Torvill and Christopher Dean get fruity with each other.

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99. At 2:04pm on 22 Jan 2009, any1forcocktails wrote:
As their skating was so bad, Roger and Sharon had been told that it would be a fruitless attempt to audition for the new TV reality show "I'm not a celebrity but get me dancing strictly at the ice-rink". They came up with a new (f)routine in a last ditch attempt...

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100. At 2:06pm on 22 Jan 2009, rogueslr wrote:
Now concentrate!

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101. At 2:09pm on 22 Jan 2009, littleDickie wrote:
"You know if we happen to fall together, that will just prove the yog-hurt!"

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102. At 2:11pm on 22 Jan 2009, penny-farthing wrote:
Competitors practice for the winter olym-picks.

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103. At 2:11pm on 22 Jan 2009, John_Sevenoaks wrote:
"No, you slide through my legs!"

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104. At 2:11pm on 22 Jan 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
Right, now let's try making it juicier

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105. At 2:14pm on 22 Jan 2009, toastcartoons wrote:
They make a lovely pear

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106. At 2:16pm on 22 Jan 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
Be fruitful and not disqualified

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107. At 2:18pm on 22 Jan 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
The fruit of his adjoined

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108. At 2:20pm on 22 Jan 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
How you know when you've had too much cold medicine

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109. At 2:22pm on 22 Jan 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
And then it all went pear shaped.

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110. At 2:22pm on 22 Jan 2009, OurSwipe wrote:
Heston's new Little Chef dessert proved too extravagant for some !

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111. At 2:23pm on 22 Jan 2009, BasilBlue wrote:
"I told you it was nothing to do with fruit. It said pairs skating not pears skating"

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112. At 2:23pm on 22 Jan 2009, OurSwipe wrote:
We best go get that Taxi or we'll be desserted !

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113. At 2:24pm on 22 Jan 2009, deejay wrote:
Unfortunately the apple and the banana were ulitmately disqualified due to the stringent rules governing "pears skating".

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114. At 2:27pm on 22 Jan 2009, OurSwipe wrote:
The Man From DelMonte - He Say Yes !

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115. At 2:28pm on 22 Jan 2009, UKTroll wrote:
As soon as he spotted the photographer, Jeremy wished he'd let his partner wear the broccoli costume...

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116. At 2:29pm on 22 Jan 2009, Nima_toad wrote:
"Dear Jack, you are the apple of my eye!"

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117. At 2:41pm on 22 Jan 2009, CoasterCowboy wrote:
Dancing on Ice producers claim the Wardrobe Dept strike will not affect Sunday nights show.

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118. At 2:42pm on 22 Jan 2009, OurSwipe wrote:
Banana : So, Do You Still See Much Of Gladys ?

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119. At 2:44pm on 22 Jan 2009, DeNada09 wrote:
It's a reflection of changing standards in society: in the old days one just wouldn't have been expected to compere apples with bananas

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120. At 2:47pm on 22 Jan 2009, spacelizards wrote:
Suggestions that substance abuse in professional ice skating was getting out of control were ignored.

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121. At 2:49pm on 22 Jan 2009, Rob Falconer wrote:
Fruit entente cordial

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122. At 2:51pm on 22 Jan 2009, Rob Falconer wrote:
Drug smugglers try to gain public acceptance with their new healthier option

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123. At 2:51pm on 22 Jan 2009, wcashin wrote:
"Fruit Salad on Ice" down to two finalists

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124. At 2:55pm on 22 Jan 2009, wcashin wrote:
How mixing fruit, rum and ice doesn't always product a good Daiquiri

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125. At 3:00pm on 22 Jan 2009, chizadek wrote:
Miracle grow on ice

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126. At 3:02pm on 22 Jan 2009, chizadek wrote:
Miracle-gro on ice

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127. At 3:03pm on 22 Jan 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
The Self-Defence Against Fresh Fruit course needed updating for new threats

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128. At 3:06pm on 22 Jan 2009, OurSwipe wrote:
After This, Do You Fancy A Game Of Squash ?

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129. At 3:09pm on 22 Jan 2009, OurSwipe wrote:
Wearing This Makes Me Look Like A Fool !

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130. At 3:10pm on 22 Jan 2009, modernstonethrower wrote:
"They look no more like an apple and a banana than my arse" quipped an ageing Jayne Torvill while taking a break from starring in the hit ITV show Dancing on Ice.

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131. At 3:13pm on 22 Jan 2009, bananahater wrote:
The banana is saying 'Let's split'

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132. At 3:16pm on 22 Jan 2009, Rob Falconer wrote:
But the banana was jailed for in-cider dealing

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133. At 3:16pm on 22 Jan 2009, Greenhydrolisk wrote:
After finding out that it was Apple who had sliced his brother, Banana went after him for revenge

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134. At 3:17pm on 22 Jan 2009, mustaver wrote:
Banana's in pyjama's on ice never really took off.

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135. At 3:18pm on 22 Jan 2009, virtualIkon wrote:
With enough talent, one can have a fruitful career in ice-skating.

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136. At 3:19pm on 22 Jan 2009, Marquee wrote:
Barack Obama and the Chief Justice's secret second attempt at the oath is caught on camera

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137. At 3:23pm on 22 Jan 2009, fastchaucer wrote:
Banana to apple "don't blame me if you slip"

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138. At 3:27pm on 22 Jan 2009, patio-phalangist wrote:
It is a little known fact that apple and banana flavours were never selected for Opal Fruits, or its later reincarnation, Star Burst. These flavours were put on ice instead.

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139. At 3:29pm on 22 Jan 2009, Dodie_James wrote:
Street Advertising personnel were now required to go through rigorous winter training..

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140. At 3:30pm on 22 Jan 2009, CamberwellBeauty wrote:
The first lady's inaugural dress colours, on ice!

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141. At 3:32pm on 22 Jan 2009, Fauconnier wrote:
It sure pays to get to the fancy dress shop early

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142. At 3:34pm on 22 Jan 2009, Fauconnier wrote:
Geez, have you seen what global warming's doing to those poor penguins?

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143. At 3:36pm on 22 Jan 2009, Fauconnier wrote:
Nah, Teenage Mutant Ninji Fruit aint working so well

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144. At 3:38pm on 22 Jan 2009, MimeofWar wrote:
The Ice Skating Championship's organising commitee began to question their choice of bottled water supplier.

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145. At 3:39pm on 22 Jan 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
"Clothe a man as a piece of fruit and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to skate and he will eat for a lifetime."

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146. At 3:40pm on 22 Jan 2009, Neil wrote:
See what happens if you don't work hard at school, kids?

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147. At 3:51pm on 22 Jan 2009, Dyeb51 wrote:
Presenting the latest in Fruit Smoothies

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148. At 3:52pm on 22 Jan 2009, TalkingOfTheTrees wrote:
After weeks stuck in the Icy wasteland, the fruit people resorted to cannibalism.

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149. At 3:52pm on 22 Jan 2009, Fauconnier wrote:
Sorry, Cherie, it's the only job I could get us

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150. At 3:53pm on 22 Jan 2009, Dyeb51 wrote:
This could be the start of a Knickerbocker Glory

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151. At 3:56pm on 22 Jan 2009, Fauconnier wrote:
I was expecting 'Holiday on Ice,' not 'Fiveaday on Ice'

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152. At 3:58pm on 22 Jan 2009, Fauconnier wrote:
These inter-species marriages never work

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153. At 3:58pm on 22 Jan 2009, Fauconnier wrote:
I see Gregor Mendel's at it again

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154. At 3:59pm on 22 Jan 2009, Kieran Boyle wrote:
Ranulph knew better than to give in to the halucinations.

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155. At 3:59pm on 22 Jan 2009, Beegle81 wrote:
As Nostradamus had once foretold the Banapple was indeed conceived after Hell had frozen over.

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156. At 4:01pm on 22 Jan 2009, grazvalentine wrote:
I couldn't decide what to wear so just slipped on a banana skin.

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157. At 4:02pm on 22 Jan 2009, lux_girl wrote:
In Washington, the nominations for First Fruit went right down to the skate-off

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158. At 4:05pm on 22 Jan 2009, civilservice wrote:
... and now for the mixed pears ice dance ....

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159. At 4:05pm on 22 Jan 2009, BeckySnow wrote:
This one's by Pulp isn't it?

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160. At 4:06pm on 22 Jan 2009, BeckySnow wrote:
Fancy getting mashed after? Reckon we deserve it!

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161. At 4:07pm on 22 Jan 2009, Crystal Clear wrote:
"Dancing on Ice" scrape the bottom of the fruit bowl, due to lack of celebrity interest this year...

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162. At 4:10pm on 22 Jan 2009, clare_555 wrote:
You are what you eat!

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163. At 4:15pm on 22 Jan 2009, penny-farthing wrote:
Hey,apple,have you been stalking me?

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164. At 4:20pm on 22 Jan 2009, Fauconnier wrote:
... and here comes a chopper to chop off your head

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165. At 4:30pm on 22 Jan 2009, BeckySnow wrote:
I'll ask him to play summat mushy, slow things down a bit yeah?

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166. At 4:32pm on 22 Jan 2009, squiggly_pete wrote:
Don't worry about the Cookie crumbling... or the Sandwich Board being blown away by the storm... or the Sub-zero Temperature... cos the future's Bright and Zesty.

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167. At 4:32pm on 22 Jan 2009, DiceManCometh wrote:
The Smith's heard there was a potential banana skin in the third round but thought the organisers desires to spice up the tournement were a bit fruity.

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168. At 4:32pm on 22 Jan 2009, squiggly_pete wrote:
PS: i agree with number 9's comment that number 2's comment is pure class!

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169. At 4:35pm on 22 Jan 2009, honestAFCCanadian wrote:
The losers are a bunch of sour grapes.

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170. At 4:35pm on 22 Jan 2009, grazvalentine wrote:
...and to cap it all, there must have been a yellow sock in the wash with my Ku Klux Klan outfit...

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171. At 4:36pm on 22 Jan 2009, saint at heart wrote:
what do you mean we're in the pears event?

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172. At 4:36pm on 22 Jan 2009, Dajmin wrote:
Banana: I've got you under my skin.
Apple: You touch me right to the core.

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173. At 4:37pm on 22 Jan 2009, Dajmin wrote:
Waiter!
This was not what I had in mind when I ordered my fruit cocktail on ice.

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174. At 4:39pm on 22 Jan 2009, robmoo wrote:
Iceland's new genetically modified range wasn't drawing in the crowds they had expected...

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175. At 4:40pm on 22 Jan 2009, mharris7 wrote:
How dare you??? What do you mean the ice dancers are a bunch of fruits???? ooohhh, my bad...

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176. At 4:44pm on 22 Jan 2009, BeckySnow wrote:
There’s a lot of tension in our fruit bowl at the moment. Glad to get out for a bit. Barbecue tomorrow. At the last one my mate was split open, stuffed with chocolate and thrown into the heat. Barbaric.

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177. At 4:48pm on 22 Jan 2009, hairless_heart wrote:
This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the House Rules.
178. At 4:49pm on 22 Jan 2009, BertieBogroll wrote:
"And now they are about to attempt the triple trifle jump. It could get messy out there!"

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179. At 4:51pm on 22 Jan 2009, CairngormMcWomble wrote:
Following so quickly on from the stunning Paso Doble by the Kiwi Pear, the dance judge suspected his lunchtime smoothie had been far from innocent.

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180. At 4:53pm on 22 Jan 2009, Dodie_James wrote:
When the final occupants of Guantanamo were released, the guards found two lonely souls left, their presence unexplained. But they seemed happy enough together..

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181. At 4:54pm on 22 Jan 2009, Jordan D wrote:
Fruit Salad. On Ice.

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182. At 4:55pm on 22 Jan 2009, yokenif wrote:
Actually, I'm a Fuji with Egremont Russet rising – what sign are you?

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183. At 4:57pm on 22 Jan 2009, yokenif wrote:
Actually, I'm a Fuji with Egremont Russet rising. What sign are you?

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184. At 4:57pm on 22 Jan 2009, BertieBogroll wrote:
The pair were bruised and limp after their triple trifle ended in a jam.

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185. At 5:01pm on 22 Jan 2009, bonnyjars wrote:
I know the Antarctic is breaking up, but I didn't expect ice up here

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186. At 5:08pm on 22 Jan 2009, everydog wrote:
'They made a great pear on the ice'!

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187. At 5:12pm on 22 Jan 2009, JonMig wrote:
"I'm cold—let's split."

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188. At 5:13pm on 22 Jan 2009, friendlyOssiecat wrote:
That's a rubbish costume- the Kluklux Klan don't wear yellow....True but a 20 stone Robin Hood isn't exactly authentic either

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189. At 5:13pm on 22 Jan 2009, BeckySnow wrote:
Scuse me, did you know your sticker's on upside down?

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190. At 5:17pm on 22 Jan 2009, carbon_paper wrote:
David Cameron was tripping at the ice rink again...

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191. At 5:21pm on 22 Jan 2009, BeckySnow wrote:
To finally feel comfortable in my own skin - oranges are not the only fruit!

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192. At 5:27pm on 22 Jan 2009, virtualIkon wrote:
Hahahaahah @ #138. Epic.

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193. At 5:34pm on 22 Jan 2009, Go Away Gordon Brown wrote:
Matt Lucas and David Walliams work on new sketch show

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194. At 5:35pm on 22 Jan 2009, gs1617 wrote:
BBC4 attempts mainstream with "Still Life on Ice"

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195. At 5:49pm on 22 Jan 2009, Go Away Gordon Brown wrote:
Imperfectly shaped fruit escapes from EU alpine detention centre

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196. At 5:58pm on 22 Jan 2009, Tremorman wrote:
The ipod with interchangeable skins really had the skids under it.

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197. At 5:58pm on 22 Jan 2009, xp132476 wrote:
Thats right puney humans, keep watching us dance.

Little do you know next week we will rule the world...mwahaha.

And twirl...

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198. At 6:01pm on 22 Jan 2009, Tremorman wrote:
The name change to Aviva didn't stop them skating on thin ice.

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199. At 6:05pm on 22 Jan 2009, WhatTheCurtains wrote:
Ripe lets's split, I'm peeling a little chilly.

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200. At 6:05pm on 22 Jan 2009, Tremorman wrote:
The credit crunch hits Iceland as the freezers are bare.

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201. At 6:05pm on 22 Jan 2009, MagicalFingers wrote:
Apple: What's your excuse for donning a costume in the name of talent?
Banana: The usual, lack of it; and see, we are together.

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202. At 6:12pm on 22 Jan 2009, JeniB01 wrote:
Birds Eye take the welfare of their frozen fruit salad seriously.

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203. At 6:16pm on 22 Jan 2009, chizadek wrote:
Banana: I'd better not lift you over my head, I think I can see William Tell.

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204. At 6:22pm on 22 Jan 2009, bmerren wrote:
No, they said there would be "Ample" free parking.

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205. At 6:23pm on 22 Jan 2009, Tremorman wrote:
Every time I slip you get the pip.

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206. At 6:25pm on 22 Jan 2009, bmerren wrote:
Transformers: Fruitobots in disg-ice

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207. At 6:27pm on 22 Jan 2009, bmerren wrote:
Quick hide! You'll never guess what that serpent told Adam and Eve!

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208. At 6:27pm on 22 Jan 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
Rehearsals for the new West End production of "The Banana Splits 2009: A Space Odyssey" were going swimmingly.

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209. At 6:38pm on 22 Jan 2009, CairnTerrier wrote:
So I told the kids, any messing around the babysitter and the Smoothie Man will get you.

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210. At 6:46pm on 22 Jan 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
Keep your shtick on the ice

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211. At 6:47pm on 22 Jan 2009, Lokkii wrote:
Although he'd opened the fridge intending to get yet another piece of fruit, John decided that perhaps he'd had too much already.

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212. At 6:52pm on 22 Jan 2009, sl4dude wrote:
Woah, this ice is slippery!

Sorry, my fault, I dropped my skin!

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213. At 6:53pm on 22 Jan 2009, teleheadbean wrote:
Drastic efforts to cope with funding cuts on the new set of "save the last dance 3, on ice".

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214. At 6:54pm on 22 Jan 2009, sl4dude wrote:
Spurred on by live action remakes such as scooby doo and alvin and the chipmunks, Hollywood producers turn their attention to the Bannana Split show!

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215. At 7:02pm on 22 Jan 2009, Fauconnier wrote:
One slip and we're puree

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216. At 7:03pm on 22 Jan 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
Theirs was a torrid love affair, that is until Mr Strawberry came along.

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217. At 7:11pm on 22 Jan 2009, Fauconnier wrote:
The 2012 Olympic Opening Ceremony in London looks like being as unfathomable and meaningless as that in Lillehammer

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218. At 7:14pm on 22 Jan 2009, omnipotent wrote:
The free holiday to Iceland was beginning to appear a con after all.

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219. At 7:19pm on 22 Jan 2009, mcshef wrote:
George Bush and Dick Cheeny take the first dance at the Fruit themed fancy dress, ice skating leaving party (Georges idea)

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220. At 7:23pm on 22 Jan 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
Lapland 2010 would see a few changes

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221. At 7:24pm on 22 Jan 2009, Fauconnier wrote:
After watching this for a few minutes, everybody started to get warm feelings towards street mime artists

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222. At 7:24pm on 22 Jan 2009, SFD1968 wrote:
At last the world sees what has been going round in George Bush's head for the past 8 years...

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223. At 7:28pm on 22 Jan 2009, Maggiemaynotbe wrote:
I think we're billed as a fresh fruit salchow

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224. At 7:34pm on 22 Jan 2009, pinkfloydareace wrote:
It takes two to Tango

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225. At 7:39pm on 22 Jan 2009, pinkfloydareace wrote:
I bet the judge Jason on Dancing on Ice will expect us to slip up

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226. At 8:33pm on 22 Jan 2009, W_K_Snowdon wrote:
The great thing about holidaying in Iceland at the moment is that you can do what the heck you want. They're just grateful to see you..

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227. At 8:35pm on 22 Jan 2009, Fauconnier wrote:
Apples and bananas,
Say the bells of St. Pancras

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228. At 8:45pm on 22 Jan 2009, BertieBogroll wrote:
"The kumquats are up next, and you know how good they are!"

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229. At 8:46pm on 22 Jan 2009, Klutzilla wrote:
This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the House Rules.
230. At 8:47pm on 22 Jan 2009, Fauconnier wrote:
Of course we taste like muesli - the Council have been out gritting

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231. At 8:55pm on 22 Jan 2009, W_K_Snowdon wrote:
So let me get this right, you're not actually a professional ice skater either? It's going to be a long half hour, hope the band are on form..

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232. At 8:59pm on 22 Jan 2009, ScouseBelle wrote:
Christopher: "Jane, did we really neeed to take this Fruit of the Loom job?"

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233. At 8:59pm on 22 Jan 2009, supasupermam wrote:
"Oh, we'd better leave. The commentator just said 'now it's time for the pears skating'"

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234. At 9:02pm on 22 Jan 2009, Hobbitmorley wrote:
Miss Bramley and Mr Fyffe may have looked a fruity pear. But she was going to keep her cherry on ice.

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235. At 9:09pm on 22 Jan 2009, BertieBogroll wrote:
Apple: “Does this costume make my arse look big?”
Banana: "Not as much as the pumpkin outfit did!"

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236. At 9:18pm on 22 Jan 2009, Vicky Snow on Snow wrote:
"Rest assured Stig, no one will ever know it's you ."

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237. At 9:22pm on 22 Jan 2009, WhatTheCurtains wrote:
Prince Charles warns government over GM fruit.

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238. At 9:51pm on 22 Jan 2009, SeanieSmith wrote:
After success in the peach vollyball and satsumo wrestling, the British squad lead the fruit triathlon going into the final event.

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239. At 9:52pm on 22 Jan 2009, Hobbitmorley wrote:
"They call me Mellow Yellow. We make a fruity pear, eh? I expect you were the apple of your father's eye. What say we go somewhere quiet and peel together?".

"So you think you're Electrical do you? The very next phase? Well I think you're just another stalker after my cherry. You're not getting under my skin. In fact, you bore me to the core. Waltz off before you're whipped cream".

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240. At 9:54pm on 22 Jan 2009, ErnestRidley wrote:
We make a nice pair.

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241. At 9:58pm on 22 Jan 2009, SeanieSmith wrote:
"I'm sorry, you'll have to sit this one out - this is the coxless pairs"

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242. At 10:05pm on 22 Jan 2009, Vicky Snow on Snow wrote:
"............and think of the hits we'll get on utube"

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243. At 10:17pm on 22 Jan 2009, SeanieSmith wrote:
"OK apple, maybe it's better if I slide through YOUR legs."

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244. At 10:19pm on 22 Jan 2009, RDPlank wrote:
I'm afraid there's someone else... I'm leaving you for a giant pear

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245. At 10:21pm on 22 Jan 2009, android24 wrote:
Banana: "Here! Take my latest invention - i call it the 'iphone'.
Apple: "But master!"
Banana: "Its the only way! - My people just aren't seen the way your people are."

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246. At 10:23pm on 22 Jan 2009, SeanieSmith wrote:
"I really think this should be our last polar expedition, Sir Ranulph."

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247. At 10:26pm on 22 Jan 2009, W_K_Snowdon wrote:
Dr Freud sat despondent, head in hands. Even he couldn't figure this dream out. He was finished, an ignoble end to a great career..

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248. At 10:33pm on 22 Jan 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
Entertainment at the International Mascot Convention

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249. At 10:35pm on 22 Jan 2009, SeanieSmith wrote:
"I've not been the same after being squeezed by the drug testers."

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250. At 10:36pm on 22 Jan 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
Why you should never look at breakfast cereal under a microscope

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251. At 00:01am on 23 Jan 2009, LaurenceLane wrote:
Good disguise Elvis.
Not so bad yourself Osama.

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252. At 00:31am on 23 Jan 2009, WordsLikeVenom wrote:
"One skin, two skin, three skin ...."
"That's quite enough Cox, thank you."

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253. At 00:33am on 23 Jan 2009, W_K_Snowdon wrote:
The asylum had little trouble finding their absconders – but which one was Cynthia?

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254. At 01:39am on 23 Jan 2009, frigorifico wrote:
Hi, what's your name?
Tonya Harding. Now shut up and pull me or I'll kick your ass.

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255. At 01:49am on 23 Jan 2009, Arsene about wrote:
'we were pipped to the post? you're taking the pith!!'

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256. At 01:57am on 23 Jan 2009, littleDickie wrote:
"Does this make my bum look big?"

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257. At 01:59am on 23 Jan 2009, littleDickie wrote:
"Or what?"

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258. At 02:03am on 23 Jan 2009, saint at heart wrote:
your punnet or mine?

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259. At 02:32am on 23 Jan 2009, penny-farthing wrote:
Did you see that kiwi flouncing around? She's a little tart.

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260. At 02:48am on 23 Jan 2009, penny-farthing wrote:
Hey, I'm a plantain dammit! Forget that and I'll beat you to a pulp.

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261. At 02:51am on 23 Jan 2009, yaratik wrote:
( - That BBC photographer just got our photo.
- Oh no! I feel silly.
- I told you, we should have gone for the door knob and floor mat option.
- Too late now.)

Title: "we should have gone for the door knob and floor mat option"

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262. At 05:48am on 23 Jan 2009, sarahtrieste wrote:
"I'll peel off if you do the splits."

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263. At 08:16am on 23 Jan 2009, scriveyn wrote:
Slip up at Apple's new iSkating event: iPod was mistaken for a banana.

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264. At 08:26am on 23 Jan 2009, haggis1876 wrote:
The search for an ice skating "pear" proved fruitless.

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265. At 08:30am on 23 Jan 2009, Greg Tyler wrote:
Is the apple saying to the banana "You look very appealing tonight"?

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266. At 08:31am on 23 Jan 2009, Stella Worton wrote:
The Celebrity Big Brother challenge was a little unexpected

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267. At 08:33am on 23 Jan 2009, scriveyn wrote:
While the World Anti-Doping Agency could not rule out genetic modifications it extended doping tests to cover illegal pesticides and fertilizers.

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268. At 08:33am on 23 Jan 2009, WhatTheCurtains wrote:
"Strictly Come Dancing On Ice Dressed as Fruit" turns out not to be a ratings winner the BEEB had hoped for.

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269. At 08:34am on 23 Jan 2009, WhatTheCurtains wrote:
"Strictly Come Dancing On Ice Dressed as Fruit" turns out not to be the ratings winner the BEEB had hoped for.

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270. At 08:36am on 23 Jan 2009, jtotheglo wrote:
Fancy meeting you here

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271. At 08:36am on 23 Jan 2009, jtotheglo wrote:
Fancy a smoothie!

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272. At 08:37am on 23 Jan 2009, TheBoltonsMum wrote:
"Always said you had to be a bit of a fruit to enjoy ice dancing"

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273. At 08:38am on 23 Jan 2009, bluereviser wrote:
"what a lovely pear"

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274. At 08:40am on 23 Jan 2009, jtotheglo wrote:
Where is Gordon Ramsey when you need him?

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275. At 08:44am on 23 Jan 2009, sncomputing wrote:
After following the written instructions, Obama and Chief Justice John Roberts start to suspect that the 'second' swearing in may be a practical joke

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276. At 08:54am on 23 Jan 2009, EngineeredSunshine wrote:
I'm pretty sure my skating is more appealing than yours!

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277. At 09:00am on 23 Jan 2009, SimonRooke wrote:
Darren had a speeding ticket and Tracey had been done for parking, but their new-fangled community service high visability vests could just cost them a medal.

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278. At 09:08am on 23 Jan 2009, BeckySnow wrote:
Apple planned to a peel against his exclusion from the skating competition for the use of a banned substance as there was little he could do about the naturally occurring low levels of cyanide in his pips.

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279. At 09:09am on 23 Jan 2009, haggis1876 wrote:
The G.M. people were happy with their latest effort, the banapple.

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280. At 09:09am on 23 Jan 2009, BeckySnow wrote:
Nice to be out isn't it, just the two of us? I get so bored with Orange and his pithy remarks.

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281. At 09:10am on 23 Jan 2009, BeckySnow wrote:
You get in my way one more time and you're going apple bobbing.

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282. At 09:11am on 23 Jan 2009, BeckySnow wrote:
You OK mate? You look a bit lost.

I'm here to meet a Mr Kipling. He says he can do many great things for me and my family.

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283. At 09:11am on 23 Jan 2009, haggis1876 wrote:
The new apple ipeel kept freezing.

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284. At 09:16am on 23 Jan 2009, greekdancer wrote:
After seeing the banana slip, the apple just crumbled!

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285. At 09:23am on 23 Jan 2009, jtotheglo wrote:
Fruit go for a new gimmic to reclaim the healthiest food award from the donna kebab.

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286. At 09:24am on 23 Jan 2009, splat_ali wrote:
I'm all for iced fruit, but this is ridiculous...

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287. At 09:30am on 23 Jan 2009, Putasockinit wrote:
I've heard of an iced fruit smoothie, but.....

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288. At 09:31am on 23 Jan 2009, SimonRooke wrote:
For God's sake keep it togther or the Zamboni machine will turn us into smoothies.

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289. At 09:31am on 23 Jan 2009, haggis1876 wrote:
The council staff were in no rush to get the roads gritted.

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290. At 09:34am on 23 Jan 2009, FrankGrimesJnr wrote:
"Look at those two over there - sequined catsuits...how ridiculous!"

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291. At 09:42am on 23 Jan 2009, GirlWeekday wrote:
When asked about her pre-Oscars diet, Kate Winslet replied: 'A Fruit Cocktail on ice'.

Ever competetive, some feel Angelina and Brad took her a little too seriously.

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292. At 09:42am on 23 Jan 2009, ManxDave57 wrote:
Yes, I may be the pick of a bad bunch, but you're skating on thin ice!

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293. At 09:43am on 23 Jan 2009, Rob Falconer wrote:
And new healthy cocaine now comes with added vitamin C

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294. At 09:43am on 23 Jan 2009, HansGilhaus wrote:
The economic slowdown is having an impact on numbers visiting the country's ice skating rinks. "This is two of our five-a-day", said a disgruntled rink manager.

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295. At 09:44am on 23 Jan 2009, ManxDave57 wrote:
Yes Doctor, I realised I was having a bad reaction to the medication whilst I was watching "Dancing on Ice".

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296. At 09:56am on 23 Jan 2009, FrankGrimesJnr wrote:
"Trinny, you really should know better...yellow is so last season."

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297. At 09:57am on 23 Jan 2009, Rob Falconer wrote:
And in this series of "Who Do You Think You Are?" is someone who can trace their ancestry all the way back to Sir Isaac Newton's garden

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298. At 09:59am on 23 Jan 2009, Rob Falconer wrote:
And, as Nigella's friends turn up for the televised evening meal, she suggests a quick way of defrosting fruit

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299. At 10:05am on 23 Jan 2009, eattherich wrote:
This year's London Marathon gets under way with concerns about the adverse weather conditions.

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300. At 10:09am on 23 Jan 2009, scriveyn wrote:
The new David Attenborough, soon on BBC: Rare footage of the Polar Pear and the Arctic Apple.

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301. At 10:11am on 23 Jan 2009, Marquee wrote:
The judges of Dancing on Ice realise they've been drinking too much coffee

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302. At 10:13am on 23 Jan 2009, ManxDave57 wrote:
For the last time, I'm a berry, not a fruit!

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303. At 10:13am on 23 Jan 2009, Skiron wrote:
With the health councils' advice for healthy eating and no 'curry', they unveil their new advert starring 'John Salad'.

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304. At 10:19am on 23 Jan 2009, Springjock wrote:
No Skidmarks !

Springjock Edinburgh

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305. At 10:23am on 23 Jan 2009, fbxiii wrote:
John Sergeant takes part in new Dancing on Ice competition.

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306. At 10:23am on 23 Jan 2009, BeckySnow wrote:
As they blew their last tenner at the ice rink Apple knew she had to end their relationship soon. In these uncertain times she couldn’t watch banana fritter their money away any longer.

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307. At 10:26am on 23 Jan 2009, fbxiii wrote:
Apple: "Ok, Ill do a peel-away and you can go into a split jump"

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308. At 10:27am on 23 Jan 2009, fbxiii wrote:
Breaking News: Ice Rink slips on Banana skin

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309. At 10:28am on 23 Jan 2009, HobbesBobbes wrote:
See how much easier this is without that gooseberry coming between us.

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310. At 10:32am on 23 Jan 2009, grebehead wrote:
After watching the Neasden Arts Society production of Shakespere's Hamlet, the new mayor of London began to worry that bringing art to the masses wasn't going exactly as he'd hoped...

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311. At 10:35am on 23 Jan 2009, Spockter Doc wrote:
Watching on Jayne Orchard & Christopear Dean realised it was time to hand over to some younger fruits

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312. At 10:36am on 23 Jan 2009, Spockter Doc wrote:
The man from Del Monte, he says "Errr....No"

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313. At 10:37am on 23 Jan 2009, woderickbwian wrote:
'Cor blimey, don't get the pip Mrs Peel - I'm ripe behind you. Sometimes it's impossible to get fruit to you....

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314. At 10:37am on 23 Jan 2009, fbxiii wrote:
Credit Crunch hits the Ice Road Truckers

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315. At 10:38am on 23 Jan 2009, woderickbwian wrote:
'Cor blimey, don't get the pip Mrs Peel - I'm ripe behind you. Sometimes it's impossible to get fruit to you....'

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316. At 10:38am on 23 Jan 2009, Corporal Hicks wrote:
Nuff people say, you know they can't believe;
Jamaica we have an ice skate team.

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317. At 10:39am on 23 Jan 2009, Spockter Doc wrote:
Once again the cherry was left on the side. No one like a smart glace on the ice.

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318. At 10:40am on 23 Jan 2009, fbxiii wrote:
New controversy sparked after Lily Allen is spotted wearing a real Grey Squirrel fur hat.

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319. At 10:43am on 23 Jan 2009, Corporal Hicks wrote:
Celeb-berries on ice.

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320. At 10:44am on 23 Jan 2009, PoacheLeRen wrote:
The unlikely duo frittered away their lead despite an appeeling routine, let down by one apple-ing triple axel.

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321. At 10:44am on 23 Jan 2009, Corporal Hicks wrote:
After the houses of Armani and D&G produce similarly inspired winter collections, they take the battle to the ice.

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322. At 10:45am on 23 Jan 2009, fbxiii wrote:
Am I pleased to see you or did I just put a Banana in my pocket?

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323. At 10:46am on 23 Jan 2009, Decoyman wrote:
"I never get fat - I'm really lucky and all my friends hate me." said Banana.

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324. At 10:46am on 23 Jan 2009, fbxiii wrote:
Apple: "Hey maaaaan, wanna spark this maaaaan?"

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325. At 10:47am on 23 Jan 2009, eattherich wrote:
George and Laura were disappointed at the turnout for their Goodbye Fancy Dress on Ice party.

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326. At 10:47am on 23 Jan 2009, fbxiii wrote:
Apple prepares to kick the yellow streaker right in the pips.

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327. At 10:47am on 23 Jan 2009, eattherich wrote:
I've got juice,
Under my skin..

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328. At 10:48am on 23 Jan 2009, scriveyn wrote:
Well, you never know what will happen when hell freezes over.

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329. At 10:48am on 23 Jan 2009, eattherich wrote:
The researchers had been less than thorough for the new "Tribute to Cockney Rhyming Slang on Ice" musical.

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330. At 10:50am on 23 Jan 2009, PoacheLeRen wrote:
Donning his green beret, the rebel apple leader went to extraordinary lengths to get bananas into the US in defiance of Reagan's Banana Embargo.

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331. At 10:50am on 23 Jan 2009, Corporal Hicks wrote:
This is a tough crowd; got a feeling they want to skin us alive.

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332. At 10:50am on 23 Jan 2009, eattherich wrote:
Ice Age 4 hit by budget cuts.

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333. At 10:51am on 23 Jan 2009, eattherich wrote:
Does my pulp look big in this?

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334. At 10:52am on 23 Jan 2009, Corporal Hicks wrote:
And this is just for starters; wait until you see the main course!

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335. At 10:54am on 23 Jan 2009, Corporal Hicks wrote:
I know there's meant to be five a day; but the other three just couldn't stomach it.

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336. At 10:58am on 23 Jan 2009, Corporal Hicks wrote:
The banana had heard the theory and couldn't resist testing it out; "an apple a day keeps the cold away".

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337. At 10:59am on 23 Jan 2009, Corporal Hicks wrote:
Round One: Jack vs Fruit
1-0 Mr Frost

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338. At 11:00am on 23 Jan 2009, DaveySwavey wrote:
The audience soon realised that the costume designer for Bananaman on Ice had never seen the cartoons.

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339. At 11:01am on 23 Jan 2009, DaveySwavey wrote:
Fruits of the Frost.

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340. At 11:03am on 23 Jan 2009, BeckySnow wrote:
Haven’t seen Juicy Lucy for ages, must give her a call.

No point. Her core was bunged from a car window at high speed last week. She’s in a hedgerow somewhere in the Cotswolds.

That’s terrible, have they caught who did it?

Nothing they can do. She was biodegradable.

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341. At 11:04am on 23 Jan 2009, CBunclark wrote:
With Britain's cholesterol levels reaching an all-time high, it was a slippery slope for fruit & veg.

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342. At 11:07am on 23 Jan 2009, DaveySwavey wrote:
Wizbit had had enough, this time he really would fire his agent.

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343. At 11:08am on 23 Jan 2009, CBunclark wrote:
What a pear!

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344. At 11:12am on 23 Jan 2009, SimonRooke wrote:
Perhaps being sponsored by Google favicon wasn't such a great idea!

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345. At 11:14am on 23 Jan 2009, poshboy1980 wrote:
If the citrus fruits catch us at it, they'll never stop taking the pith!

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346. At 11:17am on 23 Jan 2009, iansessford wrote:
Hey 'core'gous wadda ya say we 'split' around 'fyffe' o clock go get a couple of drinks, maybe cider 'orchard'-onnay.Then go back to my place at The 'Palms' where we can 'peel' off and get 'fruity'!

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347. At 11:17am on 23 Jan 2009, IamtheHumanRace wrote:
As the two Russian spies began their reconnaissance only Mylos "Granny Smith" Chevnenko felt uneasy about his partner, Julius Kavieov's choice of disguise and the rat on his head.

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348. At 11:19am on 23 Jan 2009, binx29 wrote:
"brrrrrrr giz a squeezi'm peeling cold"

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349. At 11:20am on 23 Jan 2009, jellyba wrote:
ready for a banana split

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350. At 11:21am on 23 Jan 2009, poshboy1980 wrote:
It was perfect 6s for the dramatic interpretation of Ravel's Solero...

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351. At 11:21am on 23 Jan 2009, jellyba wrote:
over there the pears skating

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352. At 11:21am on 23 Jan 2009, MersonTuffers wrote:
Cracknell & Fogle are already working on their 'next big thing'.

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353. At 11:21am on 23 Jan 2009, Fungus the Bogeyman wrote:
"Two smoothies on ice please"

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354. At 11:22am on 23 Jan 2009, Lynxboy252 wrote:
The man from Del Monte, he says "severrrrn!"

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355. At 11:22am on 23 Jan 2009, scriveyn wrote:
When the board of directors were told, that "Strictly" goes pear shaped, they chose to counteract with banana and apple.

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356. At 11:24am on 23 Jan 2009, jellyba wrote:
Don't look now but we are in a giant Smoothie machine

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357. At 11:25am on 23 Jan 2009, mesdale wrote:
The latest attempt to win the record for the world's largest gin-and-tonic runs out of lemons.

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358. At 11:27am on 23 Jan 2009, jellyba wrote:
First time tha banana skin fell over

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359. At 11:27am on 23 Jan 2009, nadine7346 wrote:
Torvill & Dean perform Solero.

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360. At 11:28am on 23 Jan 2009, Rob Falconer wrote:
An iced rink? But I said I wanted a nice drink!

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361. At 11:29am on 23 Jan 2009, HughMcKinney wrote:
and the fork ran away with the spoon.

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362. At 11:30am on 23 Jan 2009, Rob Falconer wrote:
The National Gallery opens its new "Brueghel meets Dali" Exhibition

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363. At 11:30am on 23 Jan 2009, Lynxboy252 wrote:
Banana: "Don't drop me, I bruise easily!"

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364. At 11:33am on 23 Jan 2009, poshboy1980 wrote:
One of the competitors faced a nervous wait after initial tests showed traces of ban-anabolic steroids...

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365. At 11:33am on 23 Jan 2009, Lynxboy252 wrote:
The banana split, narrowly missing his Cox's Orange Pippin.

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366. At 11:35am on 23 Jan 2009, HughMcKinney wrote:
"My legs feel like jelly"

"They'll be all right in a trifle".

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367. At 11:38am on 23 Jan 2009, ArgieWizard wrote:
Despite having earlier called Banana a yelllow-bellied coward, Apple soon turned green with envy at his talent.

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368. At 11:41am on 23 Jan 2009, Corporal Hicks wrote:
"I'm sick of these frosty mornings. Its not the season for us fruit." Said the banana.
"Yeah, and I thought your skin was slippery!"

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369. At 11:45am on 23 Jan 2009, Corporal Hicks wrote:
Ever since the E.U. directive on fruit changed, Barry and 'arry had to go out and work for a living - in all weathers.

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370. At 11:46am on 23 Jan 2009, Corporal Hicks wrote:
I'm going where the sun keeps shining
Through the pouring rain
I'm going where the weather suits my clothes

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371. At 11:48am on 23 Jan 2009, fbxiii wrote:
Fruit Loops

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372. At 11:48am on 23 Jan 2009, fbxiii wrote:
Beth Ditto's act just gets weirder and weirder.

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373. At 11:49am on 23 Jan 2009, fbxiii wrote:
Apple: "Wheres the other 3 skins?"

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374. At 11:49am on 23 Jan 2009, fbxiii wrote:
Apple: "No, no, no, thats not right! I asked for Four skins..."

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375. At 11:50am on 23 Jan 2009, Rob Falconer wrote:
The National Gallery opens its new "Brueghel meets Matisse" Exhibition

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376. At 11:50am on 23 Jan 2009, squiggly_pete wrote:
i got this feeling... that ICE is getting me down.
i must stop peeling... or else i'll STINK up this town.

Tonight we're gonna cut...

Loose - FRUITLOOSE - kick off your Sundae Shoes.
Please - don't SQUEEZE - pull me off of my knees.

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377. At 11:51am on 23 Jan 2009, jammyrhona wrote:
Celebrity it's a knockout strictly dancing on ice ground force begins on BBC8+1.

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378. At 11:52am on 23 Jan 2009, Rob Falconer wrote:
Trust Ben Fogle and James Cracknell to try and make a joke of it

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379. At 11:53am on 23 Jan 2009, fbxiii wrote:
Google tries out yet another mini-icon.

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380. At 11:53am on 23 Jan 2009, fbxiii wrote:
lol @ 376. thats genius :)

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381. At 11:54am on 23 Jan 2009, Candace9839 wrote:
Pull the handle again, all we've got is an apple and banana and we need a couple of cherries to win.

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382. At 11:54am on 23 Jan 2009, scriveyn wrote:
When the programme directir told 'em to put their idea for a novelty dancing show on ice, they completely misunderstood.

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383. At 11:59am on 23 Jan 2009, HughMcKinney wrote:
I've got you under my skin.

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384. At 11:59am on 23 Jan 2009, CHempstead wrote:
The Governments plan to get British school children to eat more fruit were put on ice

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385. At 12:05pm on 23 Jan 2009, SimonRooke wrote:
I still maintain that using Babel Fish to translate for 'Proust on Ice' was a mistake.

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386. At 12:06pm on 23 Jan 2009, Jim Monkey wrote:
Irritated by Apple’s inability to skate, Banana wished he’d teamed up with a Coxless Pear.

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387. At 12:06pm on 23 Jan 2009, scriveyn wrote:
Banana and Apple rejoice as they find proof of their common ancestor in the archives of Somerset House.

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388. At 12:09pm on 23 Jan 2009, biosharpey wrote:
Stop there lads! Now.. camouflage; it's not just about concealing your identity!

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389. At 12:09pm on 23 Jan 2009, Corporal Hicks wrote:
Its a game of two half(wit)s.

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390. At 12:13pm on 23 Jan 2009, Jim Monkey wrote:
Unhappy with his partner, Banana wanted to hold a Conference.

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391. At 12:14pm on 23 Jan 2009, tidybrown wrote:
One was just an apple, the other just a banana, but together they made a lovely pear

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392. At 12:15pm on 23 Jan 2009, DaveySwavey wrote:
Friends of the Earth's worries about potential mutations in GM crops were well founded.

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393. At 12:15pm on 23 Jan 2009, fbxiii wrote:
29 Acacia Avenue hit by severe snow storm. Eric Wimp prepares to transform to clear up the mess...

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394. At 12:18pm on 23 Jan 2009, scriveyn wrote:
The Antics Road Show

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395. At 12:18pm on 23 Jan 2009, DaveySwavey wrote:
Bananadrama.

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396. At 12:18pm on 23 Jan 2009, david regan wrote:
Don't know about you, but I'm not peeling to good!

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397. At 12:20pm on 23 Jan 2009, DaveySwavey wrote:
Justin Lee Colin's Bring Back Bananarama show wasn't going to plan.

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398. At 12:20pm on 23 Jan 2009, simply_joe wrote:
Great idea for a new TV show. Fruits on Ice.

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399. At 12:21pm on 23 Jan 2009, HughMcKinney wrote:
When the banana split, ice creamed.

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400. At 12:22pm on 23 Jan 2009, david regan wrote:
Apple: "I'm trying to lift you, but you just keep slipping!"

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401. At 12:23pm on 23 Jan 2009, DaveySwavey wrote:
Forbidden fruit dance the sweetest.

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402. At 12:23pm on 23 Jan 2009, SeanieSmith wrote:
"Now, when you said 'it's a knockout' competition...?"

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403. At 12:24pm on 23 Jan 2009, scriveyn wrote:
Free-for-all Fruitcake

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404. At 12:26pm on 23 Jan 2009, HughMcKinney wrote:
Appleman saw the skating as a test of his core compentancy.

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405. At 12:26pm on 23 Jan 2009, DaveySwavey wrote:
You think that fall was impressive? You should seen have been there when I fell on Newton.

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406. At 12:27pm on 23 Jan 2009, david regan wrote:
Are you sure these are the right outfits to dance to The Sugar Plum Fairy !

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407. At 12:29pm on 23 Jan 2009, eattherich wrote:
359 gets my vote

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