If the pound and euro are worth nearly the same, why are we paying £1.50 for a Euro lottery ticket?
Michael Andrews, Northumberland
Hennell asks for an objective measure of baby cuteness (Wednesday letters). That's easy. Cute babies look like Churchill, not cute babies look like people.
Owain Williams, Regensburg
How about a formula to estimate C, or baby cuteness, properly. Perhaps C = ((D*3.14)- B^2)/T where D is cuteness of the outfit baby is wearing, B is the behaviour index ranging from "seen and not heard" to full-blown temper tantrum in a public place, and T is time baby is within sight and earshot.
Candace, New Jersey, US
Paper Monitor, perhaps you were so traumatized by Bambi's mother being shot that you have forgotten the owl warning the adolescent, hormonal Bambi, Thumper and Flower that "nearly everyone gets twitterpated in the springtime".
Oh dear, dear Monitors. I am currently at work, feeling rather ill and incredibly sorry for myself. So I spent 10 glorious minutes trying to not laugh at the idea of a dog being on anti-depressants and *still* biting Jacques Chirac (though really, who wouldn't?) and then scrolled down to this week's Caption Competition. As a result, I am now feeling so much better than I'm off to make everyone in the office a round of tea.
Monitor note: Milk, no sugar, nice and strong, please Molly.
In Why do some people never seem to get fat?, slender medical Student Katherine Hanan says: "I'm really lucky and my friends hate me." Doesn't sound very lucky to me...
Martin, Bristol, UK
Hey, I've only just realised that this new Google icon is in fact the letter g. That took a while. Is this some sort of subliminal intelligence test, and, if so, have I passed?
Rob Falconer, Llandough, Wales
Would it be too much to ask British newsreaders and reporters to pronounce President Barack Obama's name correctly? It sounds like Ba-Rock, NOT like an army barrack.
Angie Errigo, London, UK
Monitor note: Click here for the BBC's pronunciation guide.
Full credit to Mr Obama for recognising a split infinitive when he heard one and for swiftly moving the offending word to the end of the sentence, thus preventing the 1.5 billion people listening to the live broadcast from clamping their hands over their ears and falling to the ground at the jarring sound that the official version would have made.
To Andy of Farnham (Wednesday letters), I'm glad you're not my friend!
Sue B, Oxfordshire, UK
Ruaraidh (Wednesday letters), if your musical based on Barack Obama's life - Obamamammamia! - takes off, I lay first claim to coining the term Obamamammamiamania.
Should that musical be called Obamalahoma maybe?
Geoff, Leeds, UK
Every room I've ever been in has been much easier for the absence of Bono (Wednesday's Paper Monitor).