A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.
We apologise for this break in transmission. Paper Monitor has been struck down with the winter vomiting virus and is confined to barracks to avoid contaminating colleagues at Monitor Towers. Who have no wish to catch it and have barred the doors. And taken away Paper Monitor's keyboard for disinfection.
No flowers, but compassionate readers may wish to use the comments button below to send glimpsed headline gems to cheer the patient up.