Caption Competition

14:00 UK time, Friday, 5 December 2008

Winning entries in the caption competition.

The competition is now closed. Full rules can be seen here [PDF].

This week's picture is an artist's impression of a new species of pterosaur, which has been uncovered by scientists, illustrating how big the pterosaur would have been.

Thanks to all who entered. The prize of a small amount of kudos to the following:

6. SeanieSmith
"Come on evolution! How long must a woman wait?"

5. Stellsie
"But when I overlay the FTSE, Nikkei and Dow Jones indices I get this!"

4. shear_uk
Pterosaurs found the "pull my finger" joke incredibly funny.

3. leongibbon
First pages of Creationist textbook made public.

2. daveinj
"Oh, he's an absolute darling, and he's just wonderful with Ginger. Where is Ginger by the way?"

1. AmusedofSwindon
As the screen went back, Cilla knew she wouldn't be needing a new hat this time.

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Comments

1. At 12:13pm on 04 Dec 2008, gparsons wrote:
BBC plans to revive both Emu and the Black and White minstrel show are revealed.

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2. At 12:15pm on 04 Dec 2008, Fauconnier wrote:
Alistair Darling indicates how the downtown in the economy is worse than anybody thought

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3. At 12:16pm on 04 Dec 2008, Fauconnier wrote:
So, not nearly as big as a London double-decker bus then?

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4. At 12:16pm on 04 Dec 2008, The_Bob_Glasgow wrote:
The CGI was somewhat lacking for "The 50ft Woman vs Mothra"

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5. At 12:16pm on 04 Dec 2008, Fauconnier wrote:
London braces itself for another onslaught by ptera-ists

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6. At 12:17pm on 04 Dec 2008, Fauconnier wrote:
How to Subdue a Pterasaur - no. 42 : tickle it under the chin

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7. At 12:17pm on 04 Dec 2008, SimonRooke wrote:
This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the House Rules.
8. At 12:18pm on 04 Dec 2008, Fauconnier wrote:
One wonders if the character on the left is meant to represent Professor Challenger

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9. At 12:18pm on 04 Dec 2008, The_Bob_Glasgow wrote:
The latest army recruitment poster for the war of pterosaur

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10. At 12:18pm on 04 Dec 2008, SimonRooke wrote:
Of course this was in the days before colour.

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11. At 12:19pm on 04 Dec 2008, The_Bob_Glasgow wrote:
Doctor, doctor, I've got this strange growth on my finger...

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12. At 12:21pm on 04 Dec 2008, tcooked wrote:
And as the y axis indicates, by next July we can expect house prices to have fallen to a level last seen in the late triassic.

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13. At 12:23pm on 04 Dec 2008, Fauconnier wrote:
A Government Minister explains a cheap yet nutritious alternative to turkey for Christmas

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14. At 12:23pm on 04 Dec 2008, planetmarshalluk wrote:
Scientists remained unconvinced about the decision to call the new Pterosaur "Keyser Söze".

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15. At 12:24pm on 04 Dec 2008, shear_uk wrote:
John Lennon mocks the Liver Bird after drinking him under the table...

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16. At 12:24pm on 04 Dec 2008, Candace9839 wrote:
His etchings were a bit strange thought Estelle

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17. At 12:24pm on 04 Dec 2008, nick_fowler wrote:
Sit!

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18. At 12:24pm on 04 Dec 2008, Tozzle wrote:
Scientist to pterosaur: "awww, you luvvely , wuvvely, ickle, wickle pterosaur...."

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19. At 12:25pm on 04 Dec 2008, Candace9839 wrote:
You must be this tall to be eaten

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20. At 12:25pm on 04 Dec 2008, SimonRooke wrote:
Barbara Woodhouse demonstrates how she learnt to deal with an unruly pterosaur.

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21. At 12:26pm on 04 Dec 2008, nick_fowler wrote:
We're going to mate them with pigs to make Jurassic Pork

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22. At 12:26pm on 04 Dec 2008, Candace9839 wrote:
Baby dragons are ALWAYS cute, Harry.

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23. At 12:27pm on 04 Dec 2008, bennym22 wrote:
First recorded use of the "finger of death".

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24. At 12:27pm on 04 Dec 2008, nick_fowler wrote:
Disgruntled parent demands a refund after visiting 'Jurassic Park New Forest'

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25. At 12:29pm on 04 Dec 2008, eattherich wrote:
Pokemon before colour.

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26. At 12:29pm on 04 Dec 2008, nick_fowler wrote:
You must be at least this height to go on the Pteroflight ride

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27. At 12:29pm on 04 Dec 2008, Peneloppy wrote:
"Ah, ah, ah ah, stayin' alive, stayin' alive"

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28. At 12:30pm on 04 Dec 2008, ianslat wrote:
GM turkeys ready for Christmas

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29. At 12:30pm on 04 Dec 2008, thejustifiedsinner wrote:
Boris had discovered through several unsuccesful attempts that the only way to woo the pterosaur was to ensure you're wearing the correct combination of cravat AND converse.

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30. At 12:30pm on 04 Dec 2008, ianslat wrote:
The hunt for Bernhard Matthews' attacker was on.

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31. At 12:30pm on 04 Dec 2008, shear_uk wrote:
Ringo was less happy with his caricature than John

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32. At 12:31pm on 04 Dec 2008, nick_fowler wrote:
Batman meets his grandmother

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33. At 12:31pm on 04 Dec 2008, Candace9839 wrote:
Rock, paper, scissors for paleontologists. Pterosaur eats paleontologist.

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34. At 12:31pm on 04 Dec 2008, apolitical_animal wrote:
For heaven's sake put your leg down, people will stare!

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35. At 12:31pm on 04 Dec 2008, ianslat wrote:
Campaign warns "A Pterosaur isn't just for Christmas".

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36. At 12:31pm on 04 Dec 2008, nick_fowler wrote:
What's the sell-by date on this chicken you got from Asda, dear?

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37. At 12:31pm on 04 Dec 2008, eattherich wrote:
Discoverer of first living pterosaur criticised for poor photography skills

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38. At 12:32pm on 04 Dec 2008, Mersonwastheperson wrote:
Strictly Come Dancing: 2000BC

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39. At 12:32pm on 04 Dec 2008, ianslat wrote:
Scientists discover that dinosaurs liked being tickled under the chin.

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40. At 12:32pm on 04 Dec 2008, Candace9839 wrote:
He thought he had met the archaeopteryx of his dreams, but she turned out to be a pterosaur.

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41. At 12:33pm on 04 Dec 2008, SimonRooke wrote:
As the Duty Solicitor I must protest, where did you dig up this other person for the line up?

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42. At 12:33pm on 04 Dec 2008, ianslat wrote:
New cave paintings show that cavemen wore cardigans and glasses.

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43. At 12:33pm on 04 Dec 2008, HEED3625 wrote:
The annual remote control UFO race ends in disaster as two end in a cloud of smoke and the third heads for the judge

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44. At 12:34pm on 04 Dec 2008, ianslat wrote:
Recession causes The Usual Suspects 2 and Jurassic Park 4 to be merged.

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45. At 12:34pm on 04 Dec 2008, nick_fowler wrote:
The army finally uncover Iran's WMD

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46. At 12:34pm on 04 Dec 2008, Mersonwastheperson wrote:
"How many times have I told you not to decapitate the neighbours?"

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47. At 12:35pm on 04 Dec 2008, eattherich wrote:
The real reason dinosaurs died out - poor camoflage.

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48. At 12:35pm on 04 Dec 2008, rogueslr wrote:
A mullet, trainers and flairs! No wonder they died out!

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49. At 12:35pm on 04 Dec 2008, Candace9839 wrote:
Well, it works with crocodiles

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50. At 12:36pm on 04 Dec 2008, EngineeredSunshine wrote:
So far I've taught him to roll over, sit and stand on one leg. Rubbing him under his chin just makes him purr.

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51. At 12:37pm on 04 Dec 2008, rogueslr wrote:
The first drafts for Steamboat Willy were not quite what Walt had in mind.

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52. At 12:37pm on 04 Dec 2008, eattherich wrote:
Size of a Pterosaur!

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53. At 12:37pm on 04 Dec 2008, Corporal Hicks wrote:
No Mr. Travolta, this is how you do the funky chicken.

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54. At 12:37pm on 04 Dec 2008, Candace9839 wrote:
Dino Girl Guide Tip #34: When confronted by an amourous pterosaur, tickle it under the chin.

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55. At 12:37pm on 04 Dec 2008, nick_fowler wrote:
By the position of its legs, that pterosaur must be busting for that silent 'p'

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56. At 12:38pm on 04 Dec 2008, HEED3625 wrote:
The "less than" usual suspects

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57. At 12:38pm on 04 Dec 2008, shear_uk wrote:
God observed his work and realised He'd drunk way too much the night before creating the fowl

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58. At 12:39pm on 04 Dec 2008, eattherich wrote:
Scientist have named it the Mont Blancadon.

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59. At 12:39pm on 04 Dec 2008, nick_fowler wrote:
Artie Ziff moves from "The Simpsons" to join the cast of "The Flintstones"

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60. At 12:40pm on 04 Dec 2008, RMutt-Urinal wrote:
Artists impression of the first species of RodHullosaur.

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61. At 12:40pm on 04 Dec 2008, Candace9839 wrote:
The film noir setting on his new digital camera was all the rage at the Paleontologist Christmas Do.

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62. At 12:40pm on 04 Dec 2008, HEED3625 wrote:
Microsoft release their new excel chart package.

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63. At 12:41pm on 04 Dec 2008, nick_fowler wrote:
First they buy a hamster, so we get a pedigree poodle. Then they get a rattlesnake, so we buy a crocodile. Have you seen what the neighbours have bought now, Harry?

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64. At 12:41pm on 04 Dec 2008, nigelmccc wrote:
The latest genetic cross - a dinosaur and a pen nib.

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65. At 12:42pm on 04 Dec 2008, nigelmccc wrote:
And the deflate valve is...where?

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66. At 12:43pm on 04 Dec 2008, symingth wrote:
Thank you for coming in for the identity parade, Mrs Jones. We've narrowed our search down to two suspects. Now, please think carefully. Do you recognise either of these individuals as the one who mugged you in Central London, then flew off with your purse clutched in their claws, leaving a trail of guano?

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67. At 12:43pm on 04 Dec 2008, nigelmccc wrote:
Strictly Come Dancing has really gone downhill with the latest couple, hasn't it?

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68. At 12:43pm on 04 Dec 2008, MuteJoe wrote:
The crane-kick attempt failed to impress Mr. Miyagi.

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69. At 12:43pm on 04 Dec 2008, spud_the_spider wrote:
Trinny and Suzanna stared in horror. Doris hadn't looked that bad on this side of the screen.

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70. At 12:43pm on 04 Dec 2008, Candace9839 wrote:
Our new manga artist hails from the natural history field. Why do you ask?

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71. At 12:45pm on 04 Dec 2008, SteeleHawker wrote:
Oh, I adore these signs they have hanging outside restaurants in Alsace, but I don't think we'll bother stopping at this one, eh?

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72. At 12:45pm on 04 Dec 2008, RMutt-Urinal wrote:
Beyond doubt he had established himself as the worlds greatest shadow puppeteer.

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73. At 12:46pm on 04 Dec 2008, clarcombe wrote:
Since the John Sergeant scandal, candidates for Strictly were carefully vetted.

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74. At 12:47pm on 04 Dec 2008, eattherich wrote:
Bill - "Wow, that was a scary dream!"
Fred -"What, the flying dinosaur?"
Bill -"No, the monochrome Jeremy Clarkson!"

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75. At 12:48pm on 04 Dec 2008, MuteJoe wrote:
Lucy ousted as earliest hominid.

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76. At 12:49pm on 04 Dec 2008, rogueslr wrote:
David Icke at last publishes 'x-ray proof' that the Royal Family have a reptilian bloodline.

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77. At 12:49pm on 04 Dec 2008, shear_uk wrote:
Pterosaurs found the "pull my finger" joke incredibly funny.

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78. At 12:50pm on 04 Dec 2008, Candace9839 wrote:
Raoul and the pterosaur went to sea...

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79. At 12:50pm on 04 Dec 2008, Corporal Hicks wrote:
You're grounded for a month. No flying and definately no more alcohol.

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80. At 12:51pm on 04 Dec 2008, Corporal Hicks wrote:
The pigeon from a hat trick didn't quite go as expected.

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81. At 12:51pm on 04 Dec 2008, MuteJoe wrote:
Quick, get Norris on the phone! I think I've just set a record for the most 'single-fingered pterosaur lifts' in 30 seconds.

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82. At 12:52pm on 04 Dec 2008, RMutt-Urinal wrote:
Pterosaur receives ticking off for diving at the shallow end.

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83. At 12:52pm on 04 Dec 2008, pwhunter wrote:
We will always remember his last words: "I wonder if dinosaurs are ticklish..."

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84. At 12:53pm on 04 Dec 2008, Candace9839 wrote:
The credit crunch had taken its toll on FT wall charts.

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85. At 12:53pm on 04 Dec 2008, Leroyrampa23 wrote:
The new species, believed to be about 1 Guardian reader in length...

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86. At 12:53pm on 04 Dec 2008, Corporal Hicks wrote:
How many times must I tell you - drinking does not give you wings.

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87. At 12:54pm on 04 Dec 2008, RMutt-Urinal wrote:
"Look if you don't stand up straight we can't see how tall you are"

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88. At 12:55pm on 04 Dec 2008, shear_uk wrote:
The swimming pool signs indicated the latest important rule, "no diving, no running, no smoking, no petting and no bringing your massive pet pterosaur along"

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89. At 12:55pm on 04 Dec 2008, Corporal Hicks wrote:
You may be taller, but without me you wouldn't even be able to stand.

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90. At 12:55pm on 04 Dec 2008, pwhunter wrote:
New evidence found in the Creationist museum

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91. At 12:56pm on 04 Dec 2008, stigmondo wrote:
When you really, really know your eggs are passed their sell by date..

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92. At 12:56pm on 04 Dec 2008, DylanRex wrote:
X ray reveals location of woman's stiletto.

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93. At 12:56pm on 04 Dec 2008, Corporal Hicks wrote:
Ahh, thats the spot.

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94. At 12:57pm on 04 Dec 2008, Candace9839 wrote:
Theirs was a strange and magical relationship. A bit of the past, a bit of the future, but at least the height worked.

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95. At 12:57pm on 04 Dec 2008, stigmondo wrote:
oops..

When you really, really know your eggs are past their sell by date..

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96. At 12:58pm on 04 Dec 2008, SteeleHawker wrote:
Even though Rod Hull was no longer with us, Michael Parkinson was still wary ...

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97. At 12:59pm on 04 Dec 2008, Corporal Hicks wrote:
I told you earlier; if you insist on going out undressed we'll end up down at the station, again.

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98. At 1:00pm on 04 Dec 2008, Corporal Hicks wrote:
Listen, if you don't take that back I'll stamp on your other foot too.

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99. At 1:01pm on 04 Dec 2008, Candace9839 wrote:
Reincarnation can be a funny thing, my boy.

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100. At 1:01pm on 04 Dec 2008, SteeleHawker wrote:
Look, Rudolph's got a runny nose, Prancer's off with flu, Vixen's got something unmentionable ... any chance of your helping us out on Christmas Eve?

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101. At 1:01pm on 04 Dec 2008, deejay wrote:
From what we understand, it had a large tongue which looked similar to Lawrence Llewellyn-Bowen.

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102. At 1:02pm on 04 Dec 2008, Corporal Hicks wrote:
Stop!! There will be no running at the poolside.

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103. At 1:04pm on 04 Dec 2008, redbyname wrote:
The Very Unusual Suspects.

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104. At 1:04pm on 04 Dec 2008, SteeleHawker wrote:
No, Darling, I said I wanted a tenon saw for Christmas

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105. At 1:05pm on 04 Dec 2008, Corporal Hicks wrote:
Excuse me. Would you kindly return my three other fingers.

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106. At 1:05pm on 04 Dec 2008, Candace9839 wrote:
And there you go again, putting your beak in where it doesn't belong

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107. At 1:05pm on 04 Dec 2008, redbyname wrote:
"Do you recognise the dinosaur that attacked you?"

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108. At 1:05pm on 04 Dec 2008, shear_uk wrote:
Unfortunately the only witness available to give a photo-fit description of the criminals was Ronnie Wood.

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109. At 1:06pm on 04 Dec 2008, nikjohnson wrote:
After John Sargeant's departure, the Strictly team were desperate for a headline grabbing replacement

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110. At 1:06pm on 04 Dec 2008, SteeleHawker wrote:
Laurence Llewellyn-Bowen regretted calling his daughter Pippa Estelle

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111. At 1:06pm on 04 Dec 2008, Jordan D wrote:
The day evolution went wrong.

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112. At 1:07pm on 04 Dec 2008, Jordan D wrote:
"Cooochio, cooochio, cooo"

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113. At 1:07pm on 04 Dec 2008, SteeleHawker wrote:
Peter Pan began to suspect that he'd been given back the wrong shadow

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114. At 1:08pm on 04 Dec 2008, UKJDouglas wrote:
More political criticism as government reveal new condescending advice for taking care of pet Pterosaurs.

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115. At 1:08pm on 04 Dec 2008, Candace9839 wrote:
So what makes you think it isn't a bat?

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116. At 1:09pm on 04 Dec 2008, Corporal Hicks wrote:
Ok you win, your costume beats my clown suit. Now stop gloating or we'll be late for the party.

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117. At 1:09pm on 04 Dec 2008, Rob Falconer wrote:
One good thing - at least it's eaten Bill Oddie

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118. At 1:10pm on 04 Dec 2008, Rob Falconer wrote:
Honestly, Terry, can't you learn to pick your own nose?

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119. At 1:10pm on 04 Dec 2008, Corporal Hicks wrote:
Hey back off, I'm serious; not even if you were the last bird on earth.

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120. At 1:11pm on 04 Dec 2008, Nzie12 wrote:
"I'll have none of your lip!"

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121. At 1:12pm on 04 Dec 2008, RMutt-Urinal wrote:
Scientists establish that Michael Parkinson has nightmares in black and white.

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122. At 1:12pm on 04 Dec 2008, eattherich wrote:
Can you tell what it is, yet?

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123. At 1:12pm on 04 Dec 2008, Nzie12 wrote:
The shocking results of genetic experimentation on a bird, reptile, and dancer...

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124. At 1:12pm on 04 Dec 2008, shear_uk wrote:
Look at the state of you, like something the sabre-toothed tiger dragged in!

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125. At 1:13pm on 04 Dec 2008, trigg_27 wrote:
BBC unveils surprising replacement for "Drunk girl"

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126. At 1:13pm on 04 Dec 2008, Nzie12 wrote:
New weight loss product: "Now, *anyone* can have long, slender legs! Just look at this pterosaur!"

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127. At 1:13pm on 04 Dec 2008, Rob Falconer wrote:
'E's kicked the bucket, 'e's shuffled off 'is mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisible! This is an ex-pterosaur!

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128. At 1:15pm on 04 Dec 2008, Rob Falconer wrote:
I see Wayne Rooney's going out with another old bird

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129. At 1:15pm on 04 Dec 2008, Candace9839 wrote:
Nobody puts baby in a corner

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130. At 1:16pm on 04 Dec 2008, Corporal Hicks wrote:
Even in the year 3000 BC man was a victim to fashion.

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131. At 1:18pm on 04 Dec 2008, dvboy83 wrote:
"Look at each member of the parade at least twice, taking as much care and time as you wish."

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132. At 1:18pm on 04 Dec 2008, Rob Falconer wrote:
Look at that old fossil! Sixties hair-style, NHS spectacles, old-fashioned trainers ...

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133. At 1:20pm on 04 Dec 2008, mainbass wrote:
Archive footage discovered of David Attenborough`s first ever wildlife production.

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134. At 1:20pm on 04 Dec 2008, RMutt-Urinal wrote:
Technically without eyes it's a Dontfinkesaurus.

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135. At 1:20pm on 04 Dec 2008, Rob Falconer wrote:
When the pie was opened ...

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136. At 1:22pm on 04 Dec 2008, shear_uk wrote:
Teaching your pet pterosaur to walk is much like teaching a child to ride a bike...you simply prop up the beak instead of holding the saddle.

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137. At 1:23pm on 04 Dec 2008, stigmondo wrote:
"Is it male or female?" "We're not sure, but the pterosaur is female.."

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138. At 1:23pm on 04 Dec 2008, eattherich wrote:
To give a true impression of size and creative originality, police showed the e-fit of the suspect pterosaur in comparison with John Lennon

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139. At 1:25pm on 04 Dec 2008, shear_uk wrote:
"Hey lads...lads, I think I found the beak...now where do you reckon the wings are?"

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140. At 1:26pm on 04 Dec 2008, teazeldad wrote:
As the futuristic music and fanfare began and the shapes appeared behind an opaque screen, the first of Easyjet's space tourists began to grow uneasy

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141. At 1:27pm on 04 Dec 2008, Corporal Hicks wrote:
I'm a little teapot short and stout
You're a 10 foot dinosaur we both stand out
When I get all steamed up, hear me shout
Please don't eat me pterosaur, I'm freaking out

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142. At 1:30pm on 04 Dec 2008, alan_addison wrote:
The producers of Strictly Come Dancing reveal how they are going to ensure that Arlene Phillips is not the only dragon on the show.

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143. At 1:31pm on 04 Dec 2008, jtotheglo wrote:
"Please take it in turns to step forward and read the lines from the script!"

"Stick 'em up!"

"SQUARK!"

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144. At 1:32pm on 04 Dec 2008, nhinton1 wrote:
Well it was dark, officer, but I'm sure it was him on the left.

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145. At 1:33pm on 04 Dec 2008, nigelmccc wrote:
So you think a neckerchief would disguise you? Well, you're an optimist!

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146. At 1:33pm on 04 Dec 2008, leongibbon wrote:
First pages of Creationist textbook made public.

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147. At 1:33pm on 04 Dec 2008, nuttybar wrote:
'I don't care. You should of gone before we left'.

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148. At 1:33pm on 04 Dec 2008, Captionblogger wrote:
"I'm a little teapot, short and stout.
Here's my handle, here's my snout."

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149. At 1:34pm on 04 Dec 2008, honesthulley wrote:
"Rolf Harris soon regretted doing another series of Animal Hospital"

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150. At 1:35pm on 04 Dec 2008, nigelmccc wrote:
Who tampered with the illustrations for the new edition of Jane Fonda's Workout Book?

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151. At 1:35pm on 04 Dec 2008, shear_uk wrote:
Years of chasing the dragonfly without success took its toll on Crazylegs Crane...

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152. At 1:36pm on 04 Dec 2008, Smoo25 wrote:
Prominent beak? Unsightly wing folds? All your problems will be solved in the upcoming ITV show, How To Look Good Cretaceous.

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153. At 1:37pm on 04 Dec 2008, shear_uk wrote:
Hey...why the long face?

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154. At 1:37pm on 04 Dec 2008, teazeldad wrote:
Paleontologists were forced to admit that Nike may have been around longer than first thought

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155. At 1:38pm on 04 Dec 2008, eattherich wrote:
With the lights failing, it was the final straw for Jamie's doomed ostrich recipe promotion

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156. At 1:39pm on 04 Dec 2008, AndrewL72 wrote:
Harry reversed the world economic downturn, with one flick of his wand. Sadly, Hermione failed in her task and was turned into a six foot bird who liked a tickle under the chin.

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157. At 1:39pm on 04 Dec 2008, teazeldad wrote:
You think *I'M* a dinosaur? What about those flares?

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158. At 1:39pm on 04 Dec 2008, Digrgrl wrote:
"Do you hear a slight purrrrrring noise? Or is that just me?"

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159. At 1:39pm on 04 Dec 2008, rogueslr wrote:
Devonian period? I've never been further east than Falmouth!

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160. At 1:41pm on 04 Dec 2008, shear_uk wrote:
It was 3 o'clock in the morning and the last slow-dance...he thought "what the hell!"

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161. At 1:42pm on 04 Dec 2008, Smoo25 wrote:
Now examine the line-up very carefully ... can you identify the individual who knocked you off your bike and then flew away?

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162. At 1:43pm on 04 Dec 2008, teazeldad wrote:
Well i'm not surprised your foot hurts, haven't you ever heard of nail clippers??

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163. At 1:43pm on 04 Dec 2008, eattherich wrote:
Its life Jim, but not as we know it.

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164. At 1:44pm on 04 Dec 2008, eattherich wrote:
Riddick decided to try a more empathic approach

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165. At 1:46pm on 04 Dec 2008, eatingkatiejayne wrote:
stop it, that tickles

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166. At 1:48pm on 04 Dec 2008, eatingkatiejayne wrote:
and the pterosaur said to the pony-tailed man, i really like the scarf your wearing.

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167. At 1:50pm on 04 Dec 2008, eatingkatiejayne wrote:
He's cheating, I didn't think we were allowed to wear shoes for this line-up.

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168. At 1:50pm on 04 Dec 2008, radford64 wrote:
A woman walks into an estate agents...

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169. At 1:50pm on 04 Dec 2008, Candace9839 wrote:
Proofs for Sarah Palin's science textbook.

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170. At 1:53pm on 04 Dec 2008, LaurenceLane wrote:
Tall, dark and very nearly dactyl, seeks...

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171. At 1:55pm on 04 Dec 2008, LaurenceLane wrote:
I think I'll call you Spot.

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172. At 1:57pm on 04 Dec 2008, LaurenceLane wrote:
Rorschach's tests just got a lot harder.

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173. At 2:01pm on 04 Dec 2008, blogbuster wrote:
Coochie coochie coochie coo, who's a good pterosaur. You are, yes you are. What a good boy.

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174. At 2:02pm on 04 Dec 2008, Magnum Carter wrote:
Billy's choc-ice was proving a logistical nightmare

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175. At 2:04pm on 04 Dec 2008, blogbuster wrote:
louis theroux's weird pet

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176. At 2:06pm on 04 Dec 2008, LaurenceLane wrote:
With a chin like that I think I'll call you Brucie.

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177. At 2:07pm on 04 Dec 2008, Magnum Carter wrote:
"...and if you turn the graph this way it almost looks like a man standing with a pterosaur. Which of course is absurd."

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178. At 2:10pm on 04 Dec 2008, easydreaming wrote:
Bill found the police line rather easy as it wasn't exactly difficult to spot the culprit that had scared off his racing pigeons.

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179. At 2:13pm on 04 Dec 2008, mileshayler wrote:
"Your head looks like an iron"
Famous last words...

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180. At 2:13pm on 04 Dec 2008, LaurenceLane wrote:
Early cave paintings reveal the source material for 'Ptery and June'.

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181. At 2:14pm on 04 Dec 2008, easydreaming wrote:
Dad, can we keep him?

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182. At 2:14pm on 04 Dec 2008, DavidDeeMoz wrote:
The mystery of life - creation, evolution, or origami?

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183. At 2:19pm on 04 Dec 2008, DougieLawson wrote:
Banksy takes a move into paleontology.

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184. At 2:20pm on 04 Dec 2008, TouringMars wrote:
Lacusovagus magnificens would have been almost 2m tall had it stood on one leg at a 45 degree angle...

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185. At 2:21pm on 04 Dec 2008, wonderfulhatter1 wrote:

Yes you are a clever pterosaur, but I have told you before about putting your wing shoes on back to front.

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186. At 2:24pm on 04 Dec 2008, GreenWyvern wrote:
Damian Green grooms a shadowy leaker in the Home Office

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187. At 2:24pm on 04 Dec 2008, pjajennings wrote:
Mr Spock demonstrates that the Vulcan death pinch will work on just about anything.

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188. At 2:25pm on 04 Dec 2008, bmerren wrote:
The assistant often had to wait while Jim Henson got more string

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189. At 2:27pm on 04 Dec 2008, emperorx wrote:
I don't fancy your shadow puppet much.

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190. At 2:29pm on 04 Dec 2008, bmerren wrote:
Androcles made yet another animal friend.

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191. At 2:30pm on 04 Dec 2008, lpoc2205 wrote:
Silent Hill fans everywhere were disappointed by the pre-release picture of the Pyramid Head from Silent Hill 6 : Cretaceous Curse.

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192. At 2:30pm on 04 Dec 2008, justfor wrote:
'Music. OK, two, three, point your foot and twirl.'

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193. At 2:33pm on 04 Dec 2008, justfor wrote:
'Listen, when we do the hold-up, don't get into a flap.'

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194. At 2:35pm on 04 Dec 2008, PoloJuice wrote:
"Well, in my species, the finger is the reproductive organ." "Really? Mines in the ch- Oh."

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195. At 2:38pm on 04 Dec 2008, mhadayah wrote:
Sesame Street's Big Bird enjoys another succesful weigh-in at Weight Watchers

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196. At 2:44pm on 04 Dec 2008, LaurenceLane wrote:
OK Victoria, time to get dressed, kick off's in half an hour.

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197. At 2:45pm on 04 Dec 2008, archstinker wrote:

As major supermarket's continue to add water to their Chickens the Graph clearly shows how impractical it is for Shoppers to carry them home.

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198. At 2:45pm on 04 Dec 2008, pedro_fusball wrote:
Lawyers claim the police line up was not a fair representation as they try to get the case against David Bowie thrown out.

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199. At 2:53pm on 04 Dec 2008, spud_the_spider wrote:
After "opening the door" and "getting on the floor" Gary just totally ran out of ideas.

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200. At 2:56pm on 04 Dec 2008, Corporal Hicks wrote:
Old McDonald now see's why those GM turkeys were so cheap.

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201. At 2:57pm on 04 Dec 2008, CairnTerrier wrote:
Stew

Step one : Catch your Pterodactyl

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202. At 2:58pm on 04 Dec 2008, CairnTerrier wrote:
Beckham suspected Posh's moisturiser had side effects

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203. At 2:58pm on 04 Dec 2008, Magnum Carter wrote:
"And here we encounter a prehistoric depiction of Facebook. As you can see, poking has become less intrusive over the course of millennia"

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204. At 3:01pm on 04 Dec 2008, Forestina1978 wrote:
Do you like butter?

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205. At 3:01pm on 04 Dec 2008, Corporal Hicks wrote:
The candidates for Batmans replacement are not quite what Gotham City had in mind.

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206. At 3:03pm on 04 Dec 2008, dubdave wrote:
Should've gone to Specsavers...

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207. At 3:03pm on 04 Dec 2008, Corporal Hicks wrote:
The pterosaur is happy. He easily exceeds the minimum height required to ride the rollercoaster.

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208. At 3:04pm on 04 Dec 2008, virtualIkon wrote:
The reindeer at Lapland New Forest weren't quite as advertised.

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209. At 3:07pm on 04 Dec 2008, BertieBogroll wrote:
Doctor Who's sonic screwdriver screws up for the last time, Lord!

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210. At 3:07pm on 04 Dec 2008, Corporal Hicks wrote:
Rod Hull and Emu?! I think the credit crunch is starting to show at Madame Tussauds!

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211. At 3:07pm on 04 Dec 2008, Joe_the_Blogger wrote:
"No; no, that's cheating, I tell you. I am clearly taller. Look, I'll take off my Converses if you'll quit craning your neck so pterribly."

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212. At 3:07pm on 04 Dec 2008, AhleizwhelsGem wrote:
By finding the pterosaur's soft spot, Bob reckoned that he would eventually prove himself to be the tallest...

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213. At 3:10pm on 04 Dec 2008, alanjohnstone1 wrote:
For the first time in UK recorded history pterosaur unemployment levels surpassed that of humans.

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214. At 3:11pm on 04 Dec 2008, BertieBogroll wrote:
A pterodactyl! A pterodactyl! My kingdom for a pterodactyl!

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215. At 3:11pm on 04 Dec 2008, justfor wrote:
And as he reached into his pocket he thought 'what a stroke of luck, something for a pterosaur.'

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216. At 3:14pm on 04 Dec 2008, BertieBogroll wrote:
"Does this pterodactyl make my finger look big?"

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217. At 3:15pm on 04 Dec 2008, BertieBogroll wrote:
The new discovery gives the phrase 'flipping the bird' a whole new meaning.

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218. At 3:16pm on 04 Dec 2008, Corporal Hicks wrote:
A bird in the hand is worth two in the jurassic bush.

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219. At 3:19pm on 04 Dec 2008, campaign1 wrote:
Remember, a pterosaur is not just for Christmas...

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220. At 3:19pm on 04 Dec 2008, Corporal Hicks wrote:
The experiment to teleport a bat and an ostrich failed with dramatic results.

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221. At 3:20pm on 04 Dec 2008, pwhunter wrote:
The BBC dispels rumours that their choice of hosts for next year's Dancing on Ice were aimed at attracting an older audience.

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222. At 3:20pm on 04 Dec 2008, alanjohnstone1 wrote:
Now just a minute young man! If you think you're going out the house with your toenails like that you've got another thing coming!

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223. At 3:20pm on 04 Dec 2008, Nzie12 wrote:
Recently released, early designs for the Hippogriff Buckbeak in the Harry Potter movies. Can't think why they changed it...

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224. At 3:21pm on 04 Dec 2008, Nzie12 wrote:
Pterosaur discovery redefines "top-heavy..."

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225. At 3:22pm on 04 Dec 2008, Corporal Hicks wrote:
OK heres the deal; I'll quit making fun of you as long as you don't mention the shoes, the neckerchief or the protruding eyes.

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226. At 3:22pm on 04 Dec 2008, Stellsie wrote:
"but when I overlay the FTSE, Nikkei and Dow Jones indices I get this!"

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227. At 3:23pm on 04 Dec 2008, Nzie12 wrote:
"Si-it, sit. Sit, boy. Stay, good boy, stay. If you stay I'll give you this treat.. Good boy, stay."

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228. At 3:25pm on 04 Dec 2008, shear_uk wrote:
Bernard Mathew's eyes lit up at the thought of increased profits

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229. At 3:25pm on 04 Dec 2008, Nzie12 wrote:
Recent discovery proves pterosaur had a human-like appendage protruding from its beak...

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230. At 3:26pm on 04 Dec 2008, Nzie12 wrote:
A recently-trained Dinosaur Control Officer was on hand to manage the Pterosaur posing for its mug shot.

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231. At 3:28pm on 04 Dec 2008, MJF_dodo wrote:
The police line-up consisted of only two and seemed heavily biased against the defendant.

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232. At 3:29pm on 04 Dec 2008, Eregol wrote:
Proof that White Collar workers are from the land of the dinosaurs.

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233. At 3:30pm on 04 Dec 2008, justfor wrote:
Intent on winning the race, the pterosaur hadn't noticed the line judge and was hoping to win by a short neck.

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234. At 3:30pm on 04 Dec 2008, MJF_dodo wrote:
Rare Beatles negative shows John Lennon meeting a Pterosaur.

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235. At 3:30pm on 04 Dec 2008, RausRaus wrote:
"And, oh, look what I've found behind your ear... 50p!"

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236. At 3:31pm on 04 Dec 2008, justfor wrote:
According to the film and official, the pterosaur was first.

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237. At 3:31pm on 04 Dec 2008, MuteJoe wrote:
Until we see an improvement in economic conditions Caption Competition has reverted to black and white images only.

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238. At 3:32pm on 04 Dec 2008, carbon_paper wrote:
Alan's friends had misunderstood him when he told them he'd found a new bird.

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239. At 3:32pm on 04 Dec 2008, Rob Falconer wrote:
The illustrator was in a quandary: man did not exist in the time of the dinosaurs, but, there again, neither did London double-decker buses

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240. At 3:33pm on 04 Dec 2008, spiritvisions wrote:
I wish a' could fly, right up to the sky... but a' caan't...

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241. At 3:33pm on 04 Dec 2008, RachelBlackburn wrote:
Jurassic Poke

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242. At 3:34pm on 04 Dec 2008, fandango2 wrote:
"We really must get some new curtains, darling."

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243. At 3:34pm on 04 Dec 2008, Rob Falconer wrote:
Ray Harryhausen has a statue erected in his honour in Los Angeles

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244. At 3:34pm on 04 Dec 2008, carbon_paper wrote:
Trying to distinguish between David Dickinson and a fossilised old beast in a police line-up proved to be more difficult than first though.

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245. At 3:34pm on 04 Dec 2008, eattherich wrote:
Perhaps now was not the best time for the pheasant plucker joke

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246. At 3:35pm on 04 Dec 2008, alanjohnstone1 wrote:
"Look, you can barely stand up, your chat up lines are prehistoric and I've already told you I don't fancy birds!"

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247. At 3:36pm on 04 Dec 2008, eattherich wrote:
We're gonna need a bigger baster

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248. At 3:36pm on 04 Dec 2008, jammyrhona wrote:
Historians reveal early traffic signs.

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249. At 3:38pm on 04 Dec 2008, Corporal Hicks wrote:
Arsene Wenger thinks he's found a naturally gifted midfielder to provide the backbone in the Arsenal football team. Now to teach him not to eat the ball...

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250. At 3:39pm on 04 Dec 2008, eattherich wrote:
Ripley - "See, all it wanted was a lickle tickle under the chin.. Aaaaaaargh!"

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251. At 3:41pm on 04 Dec 2008, MuteJoe wrote:
The suspect had allegedly appeared in Sesame Street.

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252. At 3:45pm on 04 Dec 2008, pcsmotorsport wrote:
Anne Summers reveals new blow up doll...it is aimed at people working in the scientific industry.

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253. At 3:46pm on 04 Dec 2008, eattherich wrote:
Police have issued a warning of large reptilian birdlike creature on the loose. They stress that the creature is dangerous and should not be approached by fashionable people.

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254. At 3:46pm on 04 Dec 2008, EnglishFolkfan wrote:
That Dutch boy thought he had problems. This could all end in a flood of pterosaurs.

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255. At 3:49pm on 04 Dec 2008, Rob Falconer wrote:
I'll tell you one thing - we don't see any squirrels about any more

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256. At 3:51pm on 04 Dec 2008, zero_circle wrote:
The gender of Dr. Who's latest assistant remains unclear..

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257. At 3:53pm on 04 Dec 2008, eattherich wrote:
What really killed the dinosaurs - constant prodding

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258. At 3:55pm on 04 Dec 2008, eattherich wrote:
The silhoette artist needed a new pair of scissors after that

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259. At 3:56pm on 04 Dec 2008, Kudosless wrote:

The Liver Bird clearly empathised with Fernando Torres

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260. At 3:58pm on 04 Dec 2008, eattherich wrote:
Scientists speculate on the evolution of the fountain pen

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261. At 4:01pm on 04 Dec 2008, iainmb wrote:
BBC producers remain unconviced by proposals for a Strictly Come Dancing / Walking With Dinosaurs crossover

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262. At 4:02pm on 04 Dec 2008, Kudosless wrote:

Had he not worn the cloak and mitre, no-one at the Irish Embassy would have realised that the Bishop of Southwark was back again this year

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263. At 4:06pm on 04 Dec 2008, justfor wrote:
The cartoonists were having a field day with the new 'Celebrity Hardman', P'ter O'Saur.

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264. At 4:08pm on 04 Dec 2008, Kudosless wrote:

The Minister for Sport was able to reassure the House that, whatever it was, it would have a British passport in time for London 2012

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265. At 4:08pm on 04 Dec 2008, littleDickie wrote:
"My Dear, your pulse is a tad erratic."

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266. At 4:09pm on 04 Dec 2008, CHEWYarctic wrote:
".....and stand-up straight, anymore of that behaviour and you'll be sitting on the naughty step" said Super Nanny to the pterosaur

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267. At 4:10pm on 04 Dec 2008, littleDickie wrote:
"What d'you mean, which one of us is Michael Jackson?"

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268. At 4:10pm on 04 Dec 2008, awesometown wrote:
Left a bit... and a bit more. . . oooh yeah, that's the spot.

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269. At 4:10pm on 04 Dec 2008, Tozzle wrote:
Cyclops was sure things were going to work out well with his new pet

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270. At 4:11pm on 04 Dec 2008, Grace-and-Favour wrote:
" . . and when I say "Who's a pretty Boy then" . . you make a beeline for Victor Meldrew " . . . . .

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271. At 4:11pm on 04 Dec 2008, stuartwjcollins wrote:
Funding for the 2012 Olympic Games new sport of "Balancing the Pterosaur" reamains in doubt.

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272. At 4:12pm on 04 Dec 2008, awesometown wrote:
The pen is mightier than the ptero-sword. (Sorry)

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273. At 4:18pm on 04 Dec 2008, Harb83 wrote:
The BBC plans to bring back a revamped version of a popular kids TV show for today's more black-obsessed teens. Rod and Emo!

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274. At 4:21pm on 04 Dec 2008, fandango2 wrote:
"Down in front! Some people are trying to follow this sales presentation."

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275. At 4:25pm on 04 Dec 2008, miffy4boys wrote:
The problems trying to produce organic eggs too close to GM crops became all too clear on the Panorama special.

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276. At 4:32pm on 04 Dec 2008, fandango2 wrote:
"OK, so I've got boggly eyes...you're no looker yourself."

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277. At 4:33pm on 04 Dec 2008, benellins wrote:
Suresh: before and after

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278. At 4:36pm on 04 Dec 2008, Candace9839 wrote:
The pet shop said it would only be the size of a budgie

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279. At 4:39pm on 04 Dec 2008, rogueslr wrote:
Early cave paintings reveal where Col Sanders got his inspiration from.

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280. At 4:40pm on 04 Dec 2008, Candace9839 wrote:
Gremlin detained in Magazine Letter disappearance investigation

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281. At 4:41pm on 04 Dec 2008, CairngormMcWomble wrote:
Orville - the teenage years

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282. At 4:46pm on 04 Dec 2008, ladyMandie wrote:
Just like the old man, tickle you under the chin and you go weak at the knees!

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283. At 4:46pm on 04 Dec 2008, CairngormMcWomble wrote:
'Ello Miss! I wish to complain about this 'ere Monty Python I purchased not 'alf an 'our ago from this very boutique.

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284. At 4:47pm on 04 Dec 2008, blogbuster wrote:
I'm so fed up with people looking at us negatively.

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285. At 4:48pm on 04 Dec 2008, nosniknej wrote:
"and have you met my wife?"

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286. At 4:48pm on 04 Dec 2008, nosniknej wrote:
Budgets fall on Doctor Who

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287. At 4:58pm on 04 Dec 2008, chudz7 wrote:
Dolly the Pterosaur loves to be petted,
"see how her tale rose".

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288. At 4:58pm on 04 Dec 2008, Rob Falconer wrote:
But we need another three-and-twenty for the rhyme to scan properly

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289. At 5:01pm on 04 Dec 2008, Anti_Labour wrote:
Time Team uncover NeandertHull and prehistoric Emu

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290. At 5:02pm on 04 Dec 2008, Kudosless wrote:

Old dinosaur piece unearthed ?
The other one must be Aled Jones

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291. At 5:02pm on 04 Dec 2008, robmoo wrote:
Gok wasn't sure that he'd be able to get this one to look good naked.

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292. At 5:06pm on 04 Dec 2008, Anti_Labour wrote:
'Sir!...
We have run a scan of the DNA at the crime scene against our extensive database, and have narrowed the match down to two potential culprits'

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293. At 5:07pm on 04 Dec 2008, omnipotent wrote:
Microsoft announce the new Excel chart style for showing financial data.

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294. At 5:09pm on 04 Dec 2008, alegrias3 wrote:
"Errrr...about the new pet, dear. The good news - it is house trained. The bad news - it only hatched last week."

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295. At 5:10pm on 04 Dec 2008, stigmondo wrote:
Listen darling, I just need some space, that's all. Its not you, it's my parents, they're a bit old fashioned..

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296. At 5:11pm on 04 Dec 2008, Anti_Labour wrote:
After extensive psychotherapy to uncover and resolve his traumatic repressed memories, Micheal Parkinson decides to finally bring charges of indecent assualt against Rod Hull and Emu...

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297. At 5:12pm on 04 Dec 2008, Anti_Labour wrote:
After Neverland goes down the pan, Micheal Jackson contemplates opening a new Jurassic theme park...

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298. At 5:14pm on 04 Dec 2008, kiki2009 wrote:
Finally! 65 million years I've had that itch!

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299. At 5:15pm on 04 Dec 2008, Anti_Labour wrote:
'Look baby, its not you its me.
We're completely different people these days, and have just grown apart.
You understand, don't you?'

'Squaaark!'

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300. At 5:19pm on 04 Dec 2008, patio-phalangist wrote:
Extract from Government Brochure illustrating the anticipated 'family size' genetically modified Christmas Turkey

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301. At 5:19pm on 04 Dec 2008, Anti_Labour wrote:
'So Mrs Smith, rest assured that we cannot be seen this side of the glass;
Now in your own time, point out to me the person that stole your handbag at that 70's disco night last week'....

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302. At 5:19pm on 04 Dec 2008, Wunnunda wrote:
MS-DOG 1.0 had a couple of security 'issues', as the young Bill Gates was about to find out.....

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303. At 5:21pm on 04 Dec 2008, alegrias3 wrote:
Historians uncover footage of Parkinson - Series 1.

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304. At 5:24pm on 04 Dec 2008, alegrias3 wrote:
"You might remember when interest rates were at 2%..."

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305. At 5:29pm on 04 Dec 2008, alegrias3 wrote:
"I do really like you. It's just the age thing...I have to draw the line at 1 million."

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306. At 5:31pm on 04 Dec 2008, UKMermaid wrote:
Round and round the garden, like a teddy bear; one step, 2 steps and tickley under there ...

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307. At 5:32pm on 04 Dec 2008, AmusedofSwindon wrote:
As the screen went back, Cilla knew she wouldn't be needing a new hat this time.

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308. At 5:34pm on 04 Dec 2008, Wunnunda wrote:
"The Nerd" v "The Bird" how they measure up.

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309. At 5:37pm on 04 Dec 2008, boscobilly wrote:
Coochy, coochy, coo!

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310. At 5:40pm on 04 Dec 2008, rasgueado1 wrote:
"You know I really can't take you out for dinner...not wearing trainers."

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311. At 5:41pm on 04 Dec 2008, KieranOx wrote:
Madame Silhouette had reason to doubt the fairness of the identity parade.

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312. At 5:46pm on 04 Dec 2008, xmjmx54 wrote:
2012 Birdman of Bognor Competition prototype - but will it fly?

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313. At 5:48pm on 04 Dec 2008, penny-farthing wrote:
Digital analysis was employed.

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314. At 5:48pm on 04 Dec 2008, paulgreggor wrote:
Who's a pterry boy then ?

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315. At 5:53pm on 04 Dec 2008, intbel wrote:
Upon being named 'Concord', the new family pet experienced a sense of impending extinction ...

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316. At 5:57pm on 04 Dec 2008, playtome wrote:
a-ha to make soundtrack to Jurassic Park IV.

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317. At 5:57pm on 04 Dec 2008, playtome wrote:
Terry saw the crime and hence picked number 2.

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318. At 6:02pm on 04 Dec 2008, playtome wrote:
"I'm a vegan but still like eating out. What's your favourite place to dine? And that question goes to number two."

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319. At 6:07pm on 04 Dec 2008, playtome wrote:
"Grandma, what a big beak you have!"

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320. At 6:10pm on 04 Dec 2008, pinkfloydareace wrote:
Michael Jackson reveals his new pet

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321. At 6:12pm on 04 Dec 2008, pinkfloydareace wrote:
Why are my eyes look like this?

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322. At 6:13pm on 04 Dec 2008, pinkfloydareace wrote:
Eugh! A hairy neck!

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323. At 6:17pm on 04 Dec 2008, robmoo wrote:
Freddie's new 'bird' wasn't quite what Daphne and Velma had imagined.

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324. At 6:21pm on 04 Dec 2008, dave-o25 wrote:
concept art for "the ususal suspects" reveals the true identity of Keyser Soze

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325. At 6:23pm on 04 Dec 2008, dave-o25 wrote:
His horoscope said he'd meet "a funny bird who loved a bit of flap and tickle"

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326. At 6:29pm on 04 Dec 2008, pinkfloydareace wrote:
Today on The Jeremy Kyle Show 'I love my pet dinosaur'

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327. At 6:30pm on 04 Dec 2008, spacelizards wrote:
The requirement for oversized pterosaur heads to be perpetually held aloft by a moving support was initially tiresome, but was found to provide much needed employment for holders of sociology degrees.

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328. At 6:37pm on 04 Dec 2008, NormanAS wrote:

Despite evidence, judge denies relationship with Pterosaurniesmith

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329. At 6:38pm on 04 Dec 2008, NormanAS wrote:

And you're sure you haven't been looking at Boy George's laptop?

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330. At 6:40pm on 04 Dec 2008, Dodie_James wrote:
"Hey, they're not so frightening, look.." But, high above, Dad finally spotted Junior..

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331. At 6:42pm on 04 Dec 2008, Dodie_James wrote:
Right Sir, Senior Customs officer here, we've X-Rayed your suitcase, and we'd like to ask you a few questions..

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332. At 6:45pm on 04 Dec 2008, DerekT1966 wrote:
The winner of this years nose picking competition shows off his prize bogey.

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333. At 6:47pm on 04 Dec 2008, Rob Falconer wrote:
What have you done to my ostrich, children? Hmmm, I did wonder where all that black paint and my two best umbrellas had got to.

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334. At 7:02pm on 04 Dec 2008, RMutt-Urinal wrote:
A young Picasso completes his first self portrait.

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335. At 7:04pm on 04 Dec 2008, penny-farthing wrote:
An identical illustration showing the comparison between man and T.Rex,was deemed unsuitable for publication.

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336. At 7:13pm on 04 Dec 2008, Candace9839 wrote:
In other news, a shocking accident on the football field as the mascot and half time entertainer are run over by a runaway steamroller

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337. At 7:13pm on 04 Dec 2008, penny-farthing wrote:
Man,you really get my point!

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338. At 7:13pm on 04 Dec 2008, RMutt-Urinal wrote:
Even with this artists impression we were no closer to finding Banksy's true identity.

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339. At 7:22pm on 04 Dec 2008, CamberwellBeauty wrote:
Pterosaur was feeling smugly confident while in the police lineup

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340. At 7:23pm on 04 Dec 2008, WycombeDad wrote:
Maam, are you SURE it is the one on the left who flew down and ate your baby?

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341. At 7:25pm on 04 Dec 2008, penny-farthing wrote:
Using the scientifically formulated "Mate-o-Graph" for compatibility and attraction, Man and Pterosaur ranked low at below 2 mate-os.

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342. At 7:27pm on 04 Dec 2008, CamberwellBeauty wrote:
Amazing One-handed Origami demonstration

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343. At 7:31pm on 04 Dec 2008, beagle_pup wrote:
Don't worry; I'm picking up the bill.

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344. At 7:42pm on 04 Dec 2008, Dodie_James wrote:
er.. you've done something with your hair?

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345. At 7:54pm on 04 Dec 2008, CHEWYarctic wrote:
Mildred the cartoonist would no longer be restrained by convention... no longer would an idea be symbolised by a light-bulb now it would be a pterosaur

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346. At 8:11pm on 04 Dec 2008, Ms_James wrote:
The new formulation of Lynx kept attracting the wrong kind of bird...but Mark was happy to go with it.

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347. At 8:42pm on 04 Dec 2008, Whistling_Neil wrote:
Original John Lennon drawing reveals that Walrus was not his first thought.

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348. At 8:42pm on 04 Dec 2008, timdanmac wrote:
The fight continued to the bottom of the swimming where Sissie held WheelbarrowMan at bay with something she had found up her nose.

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349. At 8:44pm on 04 Dec 2008, Whistling_Neil wrote:
I am the eggman
We are the eggmen
I am a pterosaur

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350. At 8:46pm on 04 Dec 2008, Whistling_Neil wrote:
Casting for the part of Tripod No1 in War of the Worlds was not going well.

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351. At 8:53pm on 04 Dec 2008, sarahtrieste wrote:
Don't you think you're old enough to stand on your own two feet now?

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352. At 8:54pm on 04 Dec 2008, Whistling_Neil wrote:
The new format for unemployment statistics was a little prehistoric.

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353. At 8:58pm on 04 Dec 2008, zapateados wrote:
Scientists illustrate how woman evolved more rapidly than man.

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354. At 8:59pm on 04 Dec 2008, Whistling_Neil wrote:
I'm sorry, I don't know how to use the graphing package so I did the best I could with Clip Art.

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355. At 9:05pm on 04 Dec 2008, aliotis wrote:
"For the last time - I am not entering you for Crufts"

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356. At 9:07pm on 04 Dec 2008, sarahtrieste wrote:
The evidence was all down in black and white.

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357. At 9:14pm on 04 Dec 2008, Hobbitmorley wrote:
Pets-R-Usosaurs billboard, 115 million BCE

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358. At 9:20pm on 04 Dec 2008, sarahtrieste wrote:
United we stand, divided we fall.

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359. At 9:24pm on 04 Dec 2008, SeanieSmith wrote:
"OK, which joker switched the labels on the stem cell samples?"

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360. At 9:25pm on 04 Dec 2008, AmusedofSwindon wrote:
He anticipated the deadly teeth and razor-sharp wings, but the winning shot was a swift and unexpected knee to the groin.

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361. At 9:40pm on 04 Dec 2008, SeanieSmith wrote:
IOC recalls athlete for drug test after smashing decathlon record.

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362. At 9:43pm on 04 Dec 2008, SeanieSmith wrote:
"Come on evolution! How long must a woman wait?"

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363. At 9:44pm on 04 Dec 2008, SeanieSmith wrote:
"Enough now, Dave...Children in Need was last month."

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364. At 9:49pm on 04 Dec 2008, eltelsopwith wrote:
Proof that for 65 million years evolution of the Open University lecturer has stopped.

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365. At 9:52pm on 04 Dec 2008, astoundingAndi wrote:
Brendan Cole leads his new dance partner onto the floor for a quick 'Birdie Dance'.

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366. At 9:55pm on 04 Dec 2008, Candace9839 wrote:
Beany and Cecil - the next generation

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367. At 10:03pm on 04 Dec 2008, SeanieSmith wrote:
"I've had enough - you don't shave, your toe nails are disgusting and you just take off whenever you please. You're history! "

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368. At 10:04pm on 04 Dec 2008, eltelsopwith wrote:
New pamphlet released by the Health & Safety Inspectorate - "Dealing with dinosaurs in the workplace"

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369. At 10:06pm on 04 Dec 2008, rogueslr wrote:
Look in to my eyes... When you wake you will believe you're pterosaur.

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370. At 10:12pm on 04 Dec 2008, Whistling_Neil wrote:
Getting the ostrich to stand still that long was the hardest part of the commision, commented the artist, sticking sand on the inside of the helmet was the key.

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371. At 10:13pm on 04 Dec 2008, NorthernPunk wrote:
It was never going to be an easy task to teach John Sergeant to dance....

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372. At 10:23pm on 04 Dec 2008, thinctanc wrote:
Credit crunch hits the latest version of "Where's Wally?"

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373. At 10:24pm on 04 Dec 2008, KatyBing wrote:
Strictly Come Dancing introduces the Pterosaur Tango...

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374. At 10:32pm on 04 Dec 2008, FrankGrimesJnr wrote:
"Ah, I remember you off the tele...it's Bernie Clifton!"

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375. At 10:35pm on 04 Dec 2008, rogueslr wrote:
The pterosaur's extinction was probably down to it's inability to cope with the introduction of the Oyster card.

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376. At 10:39pm on 04 Dec 2008, cheroyce wrote:
This new reality dating show is a bit far fetched - a total flight of fancy!

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377. At 10:48pm on 04 Dec 2008, globsquirtle wrote:
An old photo shows that John Lennon used to like performing the Dead Parrot Sketch.

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378. At 11:06pm on 04 Dec 2008, W_K_Snowdon wrote:
No! A wild goat is NOT one of your 'Daily Five'..

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379. At 11:21pm on 04 Dec 2008, abi-anne wrote:
"No, I love YOU the most!"

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380. At 11:24pm on 04 Dec 2008, nickson1 wrote:
Santa Barbara Police release a negative found at Michael Jackson’s Neverland Property, where Michael indicates the shape of nose he wanted after surgery.

The surgery is pronounced a remarkable success!

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381. At 11:25pm on 04 Dec 2008, lmfinn wrote:
Actually, you could use a little more attention to your nose hairs, dearest... and for heaven's sake, shave your neck.

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382. At 11:28pm on 04 Dec 2008, MarkyMike wrote:
Nice, but does it come in any other colour?

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383. At 11:32pm on 04 Dec 2008, W_K_Snowdon wrote:
Mr Wainwright, I think I need to talk to you about your 'budgie'..

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384. At 11:47pm on 04 Dec 2008, W_K_Snowdon wrote:
Listen, as a close friend I think I have to tell you.. Dog breath. Ok?

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385. At 00:04am on 05 Dec 2008, ouchithenoo wrote:
Sylvester has for a long time suspected Tweety pie has been taking steroids…..

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386. At 00:09am on 05 Dec 2008, RussTarbox wrote:
Despite his age, Jim never tired of the old leg-scratch-when-tickled-under-the-chin reflex of his new pet.

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387. At 00:12am on 05 Dec 2008, keithrbrit wrote:
Newly discovered cave painting depicts prehistoric geometry lesson

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388. At 00:16am on 05 Dec 2008, BenEssada wrote:
The new creature was gentle, caring, and appreciative. Confirming Bill's faith in the fundamental goodness of all life.

The last thing Bill saw was it's mother.

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389. At 00:40am on 05 Dec 2008, MarXPacE wrote:
Pressure applied at this point causes the creature's left leg to raise up!

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390. At 00:40am on 05 Dec 2008, BenEssada wrote:
Re my comment (388) above.
The irony is that Bill 'tickled' the creatures throat twice that night ... on the second occasion 'regurgitated Bill', and his indigestible neckerchief, did it from the inside.

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391. At 00:41am on 05 Dec 2008, Northern_Simon wrote:
"... and this bit inspired the design of the Stealth Fighter."

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392. At 00:45am on 05 Dec 2008, gordissimo wrote:
Her poor choice of footwear and his inadequate wings left them no option but to hail a taxi.

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393. At 01:23am on 05 Dec 2008, littleDickie wrote:
Svetlana liked to stretch her neck for the camera and leaned into the pose...

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394. At 01:28am on 05 Dec 2008, littleDickie wrote:
"Well, I was coming to the ball as a phoenix, and then with the dust and all, I sneezed, and stretched my larynx somethin' awful..."

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395. At 02:25am on 05 Dec 2008, mckennakeefe wrote:
Coochy-coochy-coo

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396. At 02:30am on 05 Dec 2008, sirquoththeraven wrote:
Er... would you happen to be the latest news?

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397. At 02:49am on 05 Dec 2008, penny-farthing wrote:
Which came first? The tickle or the egg?

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398. At 06:19am on 05 Dec 2008, daveinj wrote:
"Oh, he's an absolute darling, and he's just wonderful with Ginger. Where is Ginger by the way?"

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399. At 07:51am on 05 Dec 2008, 55miner wrote:
Say RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

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400. At 07:51am on 05 Dec 2008, sl4dude wrote:
The BBC were certain that mixing James Bond with Emu was a good idea

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401. At 08:03am on 05 Dec 2008, nigelmccc wrote:
So, have three curries, then fly over whoever made money out of that New Forest Lapland. Got it?

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402. At 08:06am on 05 Dec 2008, nigelmccc wrote:
The must-avoid Christmas gift - the flying fountain pen.

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403. At 08:07am on 05 Dec 2008, Martin_Brannigan wrote:
It doesn't matter how ferocious the pterosaur pretended to be - a tickle under the chin and it was pretty much anyones...

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404. At 08:07am on 05 Dec 2008, nigelmccc wrote:
Chiarascuro? Never flown there!

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405. At 08:09am on 05 Dec 2008, Champinjoner wrote:
"Micheal Jackson shows off his new pencil sharpener!"

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406. At 08:13am on 05 Dec 2008, DavidDeeMoz wrote:
And on the sixth day, God took a large sheet of paper and started folding it in really interesting ways.

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407. At 08:17am on 05 Dec 2008, RMutt-Urinal wrote:
Michael Jackson teaches the Moonwalk to one of his menagerie at Neverland.

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408. At 08:20am on 05 Dec 2008, SeanieSmith wrote:
"I promise you, Mick...this will definately be the last Rolling Stones world tour."

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409. At 08:22am on 05 Dec 2008, RMutt-Urinal wrote:
As we see the baby Pterosaur pecking its way out of a trouser pocket mother comes running.

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410. At 08:40am on 05 Dec 2008, j-o-n-a-t-h-a-n wrote:
Shadow Chancellor props up flagging spectre of the economy

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411. At 08:41am on 05 Dec 2008, pinkfloydareace wrote:
This looks much better than that Lapland New Forest attraction!

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412. At 08:43am on 05 Dec 2008, j-o-n-a-t-h-a-n wrote:
Since the digital switchover, George was particularly unhappy with the picture quality. He also regretted not buying a colour set.

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413. At 08:44am on 05 Dec 2008, pinkfloydareace wrote:
Mmm, something which is more ugly than Cherie Blair

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414. At 08:44am on 05 Dec 2008, BasilBlue wrote:
An extract from the newly discovered book "Kung Fu for Cavemen" shows how to disable a pterosaur with one finger.

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415. At 08:45am on 05 Dec 2008, pinkfloydareace wrote:
London 2012 reveal their opening ceremony acts.

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416. At 08:47am on 05 Dec 2008, pinkfloydareace wrote:
A Bushtucker Trial which didn't make the grade for I'm A Celebrity...

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417. At 09:05am on 05 Dec 2008, j-o-n-a-t-h-a-n wrote:
Many sessions of intensive therapy were needed to recover from 250 zillion years of being disregarded.

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418. At 09:07am on 05 Dec 2008, crimsonc wrote:
Do NOT cock your leg in doors!

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419. At 09:12am on 05 Dec 2008, leegoods wrote:
Who are you calling a dinosaur? Just cos I'm wearing flares.

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420. At 09:14am on 05 Dec 2008, j-o-n-a-t-h-a-n wrote:
Pterosaur hadn't reckoned with the Doctor's sonic screwdriver

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421. At 09:18am on 05 Dec 2008, hastymusic wrote:
"And sparrows will grow this big if we continue driving cars and contributing to global warming..."

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422. At 09:22am on 05 Dec 2008, j-o-n-a-t-h-a-n wrote:
Early Pixar material discovered in BBC vault

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423. At 09:35am on 05 Dec 2008, refox3 wrote:
Who's a good boy then?

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424. At 09:37am on 05 Dec 2008, j-o-n-a-t-h-a-n wrote:
I don't care how scary you think you are, no-one enters the House without a warrant.

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425. At 09:47am on 05 Dec 2008, j-o-n-a-t-h-a-n wrote:
And compared to this dinosaur, the speed of our new 3G web-phone is truly amazing.

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426. At 09:55am on 05 Dec 2008, killerjaw01 wrote:
If I move it'll fall...

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427. At 09:59am on 05 Dec 2008, TheSBC wrote:
Drunk and horney, Chuck used the darkness to his advantage and made his move.

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428. At 10:09am on 05 Dec 2008, fbxiii wrote:
A Pterosaur is for life, not just for Christmas.

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429. At 10:09am on 05 Dec 2008, fbxiii wrote:
Are you sure this is a Jack Russell?

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430. At 10:10am on 05 Dec 2008, fbxiii wrote:
This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the House Rules.
431. At 10:16am on 05 Dec 2008, j-o-n-a-t-h-a-n wrote:
430. isn't appropriate at the moment.

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432. At 10:17am on 05 Dec 2008, TheSBC wrote:
Chuck was the latest victim of online misrepresentation... 6 foot stunner, long hair, slim build, big smile seeks confused fashion victim for a bit of slap and tickle.

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433. At 10:19am on 05 Dec 2008, Steve-L19 wrote:
The first attempt to clone Michael Jackson was not wholly successful

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434. At 10:23am on 05 Dec 2008, MuteJoe wrote:
Having uncovered the artist's impression, all the scientists had to do now was find some bones to match it.

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435. At 10:23am on 05 Dec 2008, NormanAS wrote:

Silhouette, gentille Silhouette
Silhouette, je te plumerai ...

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436. At 10:25am on 05 Dec 2008, j-o-n-a-t-h-a-n wrote:
Gordon Ramsey's recipe for baked pterosaur was missing one vital ingredient

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437. At 10:27am on 05 Dec 2008, glamiator500 wrote:
Aha I can see you do like butter.

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438. At 10:28am on 05 Dec 2008, NormanAS wrote:

Jenson says his goodbyes to Honda's F1 nosecone tester

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439. At 10:29am on 05 Dec 2008, Steve-L19 wrote:
At last Bill Gates sees Vista for what it is.

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440. At 10:32am on 05 Dec 2008, Candace9839 wrote:
Harry had found the perfect present for the scientist who has everything. But how to wrap it?

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441. At 10:33am on 05 Dec 2008, NormanAS wrote:

Nike say they won't renew your sponsorship unless you wear that tick the right way up

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442. At 10:34am on 05 Dec 2008, glamiator500 wrote:
For my next trick I am going to swivel the pterosaur on my index finger.

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443. At 10:35am on 05 Dec 2008, glamiator500 wrote:
Well thats just about the size of it

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444. At 10:37am on 05 Dec 2008, NormanAS wrote:

Bird man of AlcoholTrance

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445. At 10:51am on 05 Dec 2008, Wild_Boar wrote:
The global financial crisis hits hollywood as Jurassic Park IV is released.

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446. At 10:54am on 05 Dec 2008, GirlWeekday wrote:
Battery Turkey production reveals devastating consequences. In an attempt to calm the Christmas disquiet, Defra Minister offers herself up for breakfast.

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447. At 10:58am on 05 Dec 2008, CairngormMcWomble wrote:
What do you mean "it's pining for the fjords!"

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448. At 11:03am on 05 Dec 2008, placey1 wrote:
A baby sparrow is for life, not just for Christmas, warned Big Cook.

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449. At 11:11am on 05 Dec 2008, iansessford wrote:
Barbara Woodhouse Lesson 1:- SITT!

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450. At 11:12am on 05 Dec 2008, blogbuster wrote:
Ant and Dec reveal their true alien form.

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451. At 11:15am on 05 Dec 2008, gordon_allison wrote:
....and this finger has X-ray power!

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452. At 11:16am on 05 Dec 2008, hagglane wrote:
Were you there, did you see this heinous crime of a pterosaur being held up at knife point, if so call crimewatch on...

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453. At 11:20am on 05 Dec 2008, eltelsopwith wrote:
Number 4 in the Health & Safety Executive series - "Dealing with dinosaurs in the workplace"

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454. At 11:37am on 05 Dec 2008, TorquatoTheCat wrote:
Halt there, dude. Not another step.

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455. At 11:38am on 05 Dec 2008, Geoff Brown wrote:
"I'm sure if you were a sculpture, mate, you'd definitely win The Turner Prize!"
Geoff Brown, Newcastle upon Tyne.

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456. At 11:40am on 05 Dec 2008, fbxiii wrote:
However hard Mable pushed, she could just not get Peter Saur to stand up straight.

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457. At 11:46am on 05 Dec 2008, CHempstead wrote:
Jill wasn’t entirely happy with her new nail extensions…

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458. At 11:48am on 05 Dec 2008, CHempstead wrote:
Debbie was still having trouble getting the right nib to fit her fountain pen

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459. At 11:49am on 05 Dec 2008, CHempstead wrote:
EasyJet unvail their new no frills airline

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460. At 12:07pm on 05 Dec 2008, withnail13 wrote:
Artist : Yeah, I spent ages on the illustration but got bored by the end so I just gave the bird thing a triangle for its head; do you think anyone will notice?

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461. At 12:09pm on 05 Dec 2008, TheSBC wrote:
BOOZE BRITAIN

"....and finally in Newcastle, after 17 bars, 6 kebabs and 6000 units of alcohol this young pterosaur was arrested for flashing his testicles, shouting at bilboards and puking on himself."

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462. At 12:10pm on 05 Dec 2008, withnail13 wrote:
Geek balances pointy hatted dinosaur on end of his finger!

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463. At 12:27pm on 05 Dec 2008, John_Sevenoaks wrote:
"Call me Mister Terror Saw."

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464. At 12:27pm on 05 Dec 2008, Davek2587 wrote:
Even though her techniques were somewhat older than the Pterosaur, Barbara Woodhouse found that her "sit" command worked with great effect.

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465. At 12:28pm on 05 Dec 2008, Mersonwastheperson wrote:
Banksy seemed to have lost the plot.

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466. At 12:30pm on 05 Dec 2008, John_Sevenoaks wrote:
Anton Du Beke meets his next partner.

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467. At 12:31pm on 05 Dec 2008, Cracovian wrote:
This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the House Rules.
468. At 12:32pm on 05 Dec 2008, Mersonwastheperson wrote:
This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the House Rules.
469. At 12:33pm on 05 Dec 2008, jayworrall wrote:
This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the House Rules.
470. At 12:33pm on 05 Dec 2008, Mersonwastheperson wrote:
This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the House Rules.