Caption Competition
Winning entries in the caption competition.
The competition is now closed. Full rules can be seen here [PDF].

This week's picture is an artist's impression of a new species of pterosaur, which has been uncovered by scientists, illustrating how big the pterosaur would have been.
Thanks to all who entered. The prize of a small amount of kudos to the following:
6. SeanieSmith
"Come on evolution! How long must a woman wait?"
5. Stellsie
"But when I overlay the FTSE, Nikkei and Dow Jones indices I get this!"
4. shear_uk
Pterosaurs found the "pull my finger" joke incredibly funny.
3. leongibbon
First pages of Creationist textbook made public.
2. daveinj
"Oh, he's an absolute darling, and he's just wonderful with Ginger. Where is Ginger by the way?"
1. AmusedofSwindon
As the screen went back, Cilla knew she wouldn't be needing a new hat this time.


~RS~q~RS~~RS~z~RS~39~RS~)
Comments
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BBC plans to revive both Emu and the Black and White minstrel show are revealed.
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Alistair Darling indicates how the downtown in the economy is worse than anybody thought
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So, not nearly as big as a London double-decker bus then?
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The CGI was somewhat lacking for "The 50ft Woman vs Mothra"
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London braces itself for another onslaught by ptera-ists
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How to Subdue a Pterasaur - no. 42 : tickle it under the chin
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One wonders if the character on the left is meant to represent Professor Challenger
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The latest army recruitment poster for the war of pterosaur
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Of course this was in the days before colour.
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Doctor, doctor, I've got this strange growth on my finger...
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And as the y axis indicates, by next July we can expect house prices to have fallen to a level last seen in the late triassic.
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A Government Minister explains a cheap yet nutritious alternative to turkey for Christmas
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Scientists remained unconvinced about the decision to call the new Pterosaur "Keyser Söze".
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John Lennon mocks the Liver Bird after drinking him under the table...
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His etchings were a bit strange thought Estelle
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Sit!
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Scientist to pterosaur: "awww, you luvvely , wuvvely, ickle, wickle pterosaur...."
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You must be this tall to be eaten
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Barbara Woodhouse demonstrates how she learnt to deal with an unruly pterosaur.
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We're going to mate them with pigs to make Jurassic Pork
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Baby dragons are ALWAYS cute, Harry.
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First recorded use of the "finger of death".
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Disgruntled parent demands a refund after visiting 'Jurassic Park New Forest'
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Pokemon before colour.
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You must be at least this height to go on the Pteroflight ride
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"Ah, ah, ah ah, stayin' alive, stayin' alive"
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GM turkeys ready for Christmas
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Boris had discovered through several unsuccesful attempts that the only way to woo the pterosaur was to ensure you're wearing the correct combination of cravat AND converse.
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The hunt for Bernhard Matthews' attacker was on.
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Ringo was less happy with his caricature than John
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Batman meets his grandmother
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Rock, paper, scissors for paleontologists. Pterosaur eats paleontologist.
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For heaven's sake put your leg down, people will stare!
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Campaign warns "A Pterosaur isn't just for Christmas".
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What's the sell-by date on this chicken you got from Asda, dear?
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Discoverer of first living pterosaur criticised for poor photography skills
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Strictly Come Dancing: 2000BC
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Scientists discover that dinosaurs liked being tickled under the chin.
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He thought he had met the archaeopteryx of his dreams, but she turned out to be a pterosaur.
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As the Duty Solicitor I must protest, where did you dig up this other person for the line up?
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New cave paintings show that cavemen wore cardigans and glasses.
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The annual remote control UFO race ends in disaster as two end in a cloud of smoke and the third heads for the judge
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Recession causes The Usual Suspects 2 and Jurassic Park 4 to be merged.
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The army finally uncover Iran's WMD
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"How many times have I told you not to decapitate the neighbours?"
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The real reason dinosaurs died out - poor camoflage.
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A mullet, trainers and flairs! No wonder they died out!
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Well, it works with crocodiles
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So far I've taught him to roll over, sit and stand on one leg. Rubbing him under his chin just makes him purr.
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The first drafts for Steamboat Willy were not quite what Walt had in mind.
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Size of a Pterosaur!
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No Mr. Travolta, this is how you do the funky chicken.
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Dino Girl Guide Tip #34: When confronted by an amourous pterosaur, tickle it under the chin.
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By the position of its legs, that pterosaur must be busting for that silent 'p'
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The "less than" usual suspects
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God observed his work and realised He'd drunk way too much the night before creating the fowl
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Scientist have named it the Mont Blancadon.
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Artie Ziff moves from "The Simpsons" to join the cast of "The Flintstones"
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Artists impression of the first species of RodHullosaur.
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The film noir setting on his new digital camera was all the rage at the Paleontologist Christmas Do.
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Microsoft release their new excel chart package.
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First they buy a hamster, so we get a pedigree poodle. Then they get a rattlesnake, so we buy a crocodile. Have you seen what the neighbours have bought now, Harry?
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The latest genetic cross - a dinosaur and a pen nib.
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And the deflate valve is...where?
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Thank you for coming in for the identity parade, Mrs Jones. We've narrowed our search down to two suspects. Now, please think carefully. Do you recognise either of these individuals as the one who mugged you in Central London, then flew off with your purse clutched in their claws, leaving a trail of guano?
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Strictly Come Dancing has really gone downhill with the latest couple, hasn't it?
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The crane-kick attempt failed to impress Mr. Miyagi.
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Trinny and Suzanna stared in horror. Doris hadn't looked that bad on this side of the screen.
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Our new manga artist hails from the natural history field. Why do you ask?
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Oh, I adore these signs they have hanging outside restaurants in Alsace, but I don't think we'll bother stopping at this one, eh?
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Beyond doubt he had established himself as the worlds greatest shadow puppeteer.
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Since the John Sergeant scandal, candidates for Strictly were carefully vetted.
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Bill - "Wow, that was a scary dream!"
Fred -"What, the flying dinosaur?"
Bill -"No, the monochrome Jeremy Clarkson!"
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Lucy ousted as earliest hominid.
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David Icke at last publishes 'x-ray proof' that the Royal Family have a reptilian bloodline.
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Pterosaurs found the "pull my finger" joke incredibly funny.
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Raoul and the pterosaur went to sea...
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You're grounded for a month. No flying and definately no more alcohol.
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The pigeon from a hat trick didn't quite go as expected.
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Quick, get Norris on the phone! I think I've just set a record for the most 'single-fingered pterosaur lifts' in 30 seconds.
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Pterosaur receives ticking off for diving at the shallow end.
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We will always remember his last words: "I wonder if dinosaurs are ticklish..."
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The credit crunch had taken its toll on FT wall charts.
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The new species, believed to be about 1 Guardian reader in length...
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How many times must I tell you - drinking does not give you wings.
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"Look if you don't stand up straight we can't see how tall you are"
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The swimming pool signs indicated the latest important rule, "no diving, no running, no smoking, no petting and no bringing your massive pet pterosaur along"
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You may be taller, but without me you wouldn't even be able to stand.
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New evidence found in the Creationist museum
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When you really, really know your eggs are passed their sell by date..
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X ray reveals location of woman's stiletto.
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Ahh, thats the spot.
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Theirs was a strange and magical relationship. A bit of the past, a bit of the future, but at least the height worked.
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oops..
When you really, really know your eggs are past their sell by date..
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Even though Rod Hull was no longer with us, Michael Parkinson was still wary ...
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I told you earlier; if you insist on going out undressed we'll end up down at the station, again.
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Listen, if you don't take that back I'll stamp on your other foot too.
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Reincarnation can be a funny thing, my boy.
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Look, Rudolph's got a runny nose, Prancer's off with flu, Vixen's got something unmentionable ... any chance of your helping us out on Christmas Eve?
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From what we understand, it had a large tongue which looked similar to Lawrence Llewellyn-Bowen.
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Stop!! There will be no running at the poolside.
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The Very Unusual Suspects.
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No, Darling, I said I wanted a tenon saw for Christmas
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Excuse me. Would you kindly return my three other fingers.
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And there you go again, putting your beak in where it doesn't belong
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"Do you recognise the dinosaur that attacked you?"
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Unfortunately the only witness available to give a photo-fit description of the criminals was Ronnie Wood.
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After John Sargeant's departure, the Strictly team were desperate for a headline grabbing replacement
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Laurence Llewellyn-Bowen regretted calling his daughter Pippa Estelle
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The day evolution went wrong.
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"Cooochio, cooochio, cooo"
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Peter Pan began to suspect that he'd been given back the wrong shadow
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More political criticism as government reveal new condescending advice for taking care of pet Pterosaurs.
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So what makes you think it isn't a bat?
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Ok you win, your costume beats my clown suit. Now stop gloating or we'll be late for the party.
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One good thing - at least it's eaten Bill Oddie
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Honestly, Terry, can't you learn to pick your own nose?
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Hey back off, I'm serious; not even if you were the last bird on earth.
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"I'll have none of your lip!"
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Scientists establish that Michael Parkinson has nightmares in black and white.
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Can you tell what it is, yet?
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The shocking results of genetic experimentation on a bird, reptile, and dancer...
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Look at the state of you, like something the sabre-toothed tiger dragged in!
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BBC unveils surprising replacement for "Drunk girl"
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New weight loss product: "Now, *anyone* can have long, slender legs! Just look at this pterosaur!"
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'E's kicked the bucket, 'e's shuffled off 'is mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisible! This is an ex-pterosaur!
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I see Wayne Rooney's going out with another old bird
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Nobody puts baby in a corner
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Even in the year 3000 BC man was a victim to fashion.
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"Look at each member of the parade at least twice, taking as much care and time as you wish."
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Look at that old fossil! Sixties hair-style, NHS spectacles, old-fashioned trainers ...
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Archive footage discovered of David Attenborough`s first ever wildlife production.
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Technically without eyes it's a Dontfinkesaurus.
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When the pie was opened ...
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Teaching your pet pterosaur to walk is much like teaching a child to ride a bike...you simply prop up the beak instead of holding the saddle.
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"Is it male or female?" "We're not sure, but the pterosaur is female.."
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To give a true impression of size and creative originality, police showed the e-fit of the suspect pterosaur in comparison with John Lennon
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"Hey lads...lads, I think I found the beak...now where do you reckon the wings are?"
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As the futuristic music and fanfare began and the shapes appeared behind an opaque screen, the first of Easyjet's space tourists began to grow uneasy
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I'm a little teapot short and stout
You're a 10 foot dinosaur we both stand out
When I get all steamed up, hear me shout
Please don't eat me pterosaur, I'm freaking out
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The producers of Strictly Come Dancing reveal how they are going to ensure that Arlene Phillips is not the only dragon on the show.
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"Please take it in turns to step forward and read the lines from the script!"
"Stick 'em up!"
"SQUARK!"
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Well it was dark, officer, but I'm sure it was him on the left.
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So you think a neckerchief would disguise you? Well, you're an optimist!
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First pages of Creationist textbook made public.
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'I don't care. You should of gone before we left'.
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"I'm a little teapot, short and stout.
Here's my handle, here's my snout."
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"Rolf Harris soon regretted doing another series of Animal Hospital"
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Who tampered with the illustrations for the new edition of Jane Fonda's Workout Book?
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Years of chasing the dragonfly without success took its toll on Crazylegs Crane...
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Prominent beak? Unsightly wing folds? All your problems will be solved in the upcoming ITV show, How To Look Good Cretaceous.
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Hey...why the long face?
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Paleontologists were forced to admit that Nike may have been around longer than first thought
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With the lights failing, it was the final straw for Jamie's doomed ostrich recipe promotion
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Harry reversed the world economic downturn, with one flick of his wand. Sadly, Hermione failed in her task and was turned into a six foot bird who liked a tickle under the chin.
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You think *I'M* a dinosaur? What about those flares?
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"Do you hear a slight purrrrrring noise? Or is that just me?"
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Devonian period? I've never been further east than Falmouth!
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It was 3 o'clock in the morning and the last slow-dance...he thought "what the hell!"
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Now examine the line-up very carefully ... can you identify the individual who knocked you off your bike and then flew away?
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Well i'm not surprised your foot hurts, haven't you ever heard of nail clippers??
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Its life Jim, but not as we know it.
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Riddick decided to try a more empathic approach
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stop it, that tickles
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and the pterosaur said to the pony-tailed man, i really like the scarf your wearing.
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He's cheating, I didn't think we were allowed to wear shoes for this line-up.
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A woman walks into an estate agents...
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Proofs for Sarah Palin's science textbook.
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Tall, dark and very nearly dactyl, seeks...
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I think I'll call you Spot.
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Rorschach's tests just got a lot harder.
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Coochie coochie coochie coo, who's a good pterosaur. You are, yes you are. What a good boy.
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Billy's choc-ice was proving a logistical nightmare
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louis theroux's weird pet
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With a chin like that I think I'll call you Brucie.
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"...and if you turn the graph this way it almost looks like a man standing with a pterosaur. Which of course is absurd."
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Bill found the police line rather easy as it wasn't exactly difficult to spot the culprit that had scared off his racing pigeons.
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"Your head looks like an iron"
Famous last words...
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Early cave paintings reveal the source material for 'Ptery and June'.
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Dad, can we keep him?
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The mystery of life - creation, evolution, or origami?
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Banksy takes a move into paleontology.
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Lacusovagus magnificens would have been almost 2m tall had it stood on one leg at a 45 degree angle...
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Yes you are a clever pterosaur, but I have told you before about putting your wing shoes on back to front.
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Damian Green grooms a shadowy leaker in the Home Office
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Mr Spock demonstrates that the Vulcan death pinch will work on just about anything.
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The assistant often had to wait while Jim Henson got more string
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I don't fancy your shadow puppet much.
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Androcles made yet another animal friend.
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Silent Hill fans everywhere were disappointed by the pre-release picture of the Pyramid Head from Silent Hill 6 : Cretaceous Curse.
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'Music. OK, two, three, point your foot and twirl.'
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'Listen, when we do the hold-up, don't get into a flap.'
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"Well, in my species, the finger is the reproductive organ." "Really? Mines in the ch- Oh."
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Sesame Street's Big Bird enjoys another succesful weigh-in at Weight Watchers
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OK Victoria, time to get dressed, kick off's in half an hour.
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As major supermarket's continue to add water to their Chickens the Graph clearly shows how impractical it is for Shoppers to carry them home.
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Lawyers claim the police line up was not a fair representation as they try to get the case against David Bowie thrown out.
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After "opening the door" and "getting on the floor" Gary just totally ran out of ideas.
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Old McDonald now see's why those GM turkeys were so cheap.
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Stew
Step one : Catch your Pterodactyl
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Beckham suspected Posh's moisturiser had side effects
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"And here we encounter a prehistoric depiction of Facebook. As you can see, poking has become less intrusive over the course of millennia"
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Do you like butter?
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The candidates for Batmans replacement are not quite what Gotham City had in mind.
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Should've gone to Specsavers...
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The pterosaur is happy. He easily exceeds the minimum height required to ride the rollercoaster.
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The reindeer at Lapland New Forest weren't quite as advertised.
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Doctor Who's sonic screwdriver screws up for the last time, Lord!
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Rod Hull and Emu?! I think the credit crunch is starting to show at Madame Tussauds!
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"No; no, that's cheating, I tell you. I am clearly taller. Look, I'll take off my Converses if you'll quit craning your neck so pterribly."
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By finding the pterosaur's soft spot, Bob reckoned that he would eventually prove himself to be the tallest...
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For the first time in UK recorded history pterosaur unemployment levels surpassed that of humans.
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A pterodactyl! A pterodactyl! My kingdom for a pterodactyl!
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And as he reached into his pocket he thought 'what a stroke of luck, something for a pterosaur.'
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"Does this pterodactyl make my finger look big?"
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The new discovery gives the phrase 'flipping the bird' a whole new meaning.
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A bird in the hand is worth two in the jurassic bush.
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Remember, a pterosaur is not just for Christmas...
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The experiment to teleport a bat and an ostrich failed with dramatic results.
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The BBC dispels rumours that their choice of hosts for next year's Dancing on Ice were aimed at attracting an older audience.
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Now just a minute young man! If you think you're going out the house with your toenails like that you've got another thing coming!
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Recently released, early designs for the Hippogriff Buckbeak in the Harry Potter movies. Can't think why they changed it...
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Pterosaur discovery redefines "top-heavy..."
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OK heres the deal; I'll quit making fun of you as long as you don't mention the shoes, the neckerchief or the protruding eyes.
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"but when I overlay the FTSE, Nikkei and Dow Jones indices I get this!"
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"Si-it, sit. Sit, boy. Stay, good boy, stay. If you stay I'll give you this treat.. Good boy, stay."
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Bernard Mathew's eyes lit up at the thought of increased profits
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Recent discovery proves pterosaur had a human-like appendage protruding from its beak...
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A recently-trained Dinosaur Control Officer was on hand to manage the Pterosaur posing for its mug shot.
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The police line-up consisted of only two and seemed heavily biased against the defendant.
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Proof that White Collar workers are from the land of the dinosaurs.
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Intent on winning the race, the pterosaur hadn't noticed the line judge and was hoping to win by a short neck.
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Rare Beatles negative shows John Lennon meeting a Pterosaur.
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"And, oh, look what I've found behind your ear... 50p!"
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According to the film and official, the pterosaur was first.
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Until we see an improvement in economic conditions Caption Competition has reverted to black and white images only.
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Alan's friends had misunderstood him when he told them he'd found a new bird.
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The illustrator was in a quandary: man did not exist in the time of the dinosaurs, but, there again, neither did London double-decker buses
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I wish a' could fly, right up to the sky... but a' caan't...
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Jurassic Poke
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"We really must get some new curtains, darling."
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Ray Harryhausen has a statue erected in his honour in Los Angeles
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Trying to distinguish between David Dickinson and a fossilised old beast in a police line-up proved to be more difficult than first though.
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Perhaps now was not the best time for the pheasant plucker joke
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"Look, you can barely stand up, your chat up lines are prehistoric and I've already told you I don't fancy birds!"
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We're gonna need a bigger baster
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Historians reveal early traffic signs.
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Arsene Wenger thinks he's found a naturally gifted midfielder to provide the backbone in the Arsenal football team. Now to teach him not to eat the ball...
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Ripley - "See, all it wanted was a lickle tickle under the chin.. Aaaaaaargh!"
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The suspect had allegedly appeared in Sesame Street.
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Anne Summers reveals new blow up doll...it is aimed at people working in the scientific industry.
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Police have issued a warning of large reptilian birdlike creature on the loose. They stress that the creature is dangerous and should not be approached by fashionable people.
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That Dutch boy thought he had problems. This could all end in a flood of pterosaurs.
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I'll tell you one thing - we don't see any squirrels about any more
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The gender of Dr. Who's latest assistant remains unclear..
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What really killed the dinosaurs - constant prodding
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The silhoette artist needed a new pair of scissors after that
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The Liver Bird clearly empathised with Fernando Torres
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Scientists speculate on the evolution of the fountain pen
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BBC producers remain unconviced by proposals for a Strictly Come Dancing / Walking With Dinosaurs crossover
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Had he not worn the cloak and mitre, no-one at the Irish Embassy would have realised that the Bishop of Southwark was back again this year
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The cartoonists were having a field day with the new 'Celebrity Hardman', P'ter O'Saur.
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The Minister for Sport was able to reassure the House that, whatever it was, it would have a British passport in time for London 2012
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"My Dear, your pulse is a tad erratic."
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".....and stand-up straight, anymore of that behaviour and you'll be sitting on the naughty step" said Super Nanny to the pterosaur
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"What d'you mean, which one of us is Michael Jackson?"
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Left a bit... and a bit more. . . oooh yeah, that's the spot.
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Cyclops was sure things were going to work out well with his new pet
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" . . and when I say "Who's a pretty Boy then" . . you make a beeline for Victor Meldrew " . . . . .
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Funding for the 2012 Olympic Games new sport of "Balancing the Pterosaur" reamains in doubt.
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The pen is mightier than the ptero-sword. (Sorry)
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The BBC plans to bring back a revamped version of a popular kids TV show for today's more black-obsessed teens. Rod and Emo!
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"Down in front! Some people are trying to follow this sales presentation."
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The problems trying to produce organic eggs too close to GM crops became all too clear on the Panorama special.
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"OK, so I've got boggly eyes...you're no looker yourself."
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Suresh: before and after
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The pet shop said it would only be the size of a budgie
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Early cave paintings reveal where Col Sanders got his inspiration from.
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Gremlin detained in Magazine Letter disappearance investigation
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Orville - the teenage years
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Just like the old man, tickle you under the chin and you go weak at the knees!
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'Ello Miss! I wish to complain about this 'ere Monty Python I purchased not 'alf an 'our ago from this very boutique.
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I'm so fed up with people looking at us negatively.
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"and have you met my wife?"
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Budgets fall on Doctor Who
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Dolly the Pterosaur loves to be petted,
"see how her tale rose".
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But we need another three-and-twenty for the rhyme to scan properly
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Time Team uncover NeandertHull and prehistoric Emu
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Old dinosaur piece unearthed ?
The other one must be Aled Jones
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Gok wasn't sure that he'd be able to get this one to look good naked.
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'Sir!...
We have run a scan of the DNA at the crime scene against our extensive database, and have narrowed the match down to two potential culprits'
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Microsoft announce the new Excel chart style for showing financial data.
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"Errrr...about the new pet, dear. The good news - it is house trained. The bad news - it only hatched last week."
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Listen darling, I just need some space, that's all. Its not you, it's my parents, they're a bit old fashioned..
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After extensive psychotherapy to uncover and resolve his traumatic repressed memories, Micheal Parkinson decides to finally bring charges of indecent assualt against Rod Hull and Emu...
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After Neverland goes down the pan, Micheal Jackson contemplates opening a new Jurassic theme park...
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Finally! 65 million years I've had that itch!
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'Look baby, its not you its me.
We're completely different people these days, and have just grown apart.
You understand, don't you?'
'Squaaark!'
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Extract from Government Brochure illustrating the anticipated 'family size' genetically modified Christmas Turkey
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'So Mrs Smith, rest assured that we cannot be seen this side of the glass;
Now in your own time, point out to me the person that stole your handbag at that 70's disco night last week'....
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MS-DOG 1.0 had a couple of security 'issues', as the young Bill Gates was about to find out.....
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Historians uncover footage of Parkinson - Series 1.
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"You might remember when interest rates were at 2%..."
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"I do really like you. It's just the age thing...I have to draw the line at 1 million."
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Round and round the garden, like a teddy bear; one step, 2 steps and tickley under there ...
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As the screen went back, Cilla knew she wouldn't be needing a new hat this time.
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"The Nerd" v "The Bird" how they measure up.
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Coochy, coochy, coo!
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"You know I really can't take you out for dinner...not wearing trainers."
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Madame Silhouette had reason to doubt the fairness of the identity parade.
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2012 Birdman of Bognor Competition prototype - but will it fly?
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Digital analysis was employed.
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Who's a pterry boy then ?
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Upon being named 'Concord', the new family pet experienced a sense of impending extinction ...
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a-ha to make soundtrack to Jurassic Park IV.
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Terry saw the crime and hence picked number 2.
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"I'm a vegan but still like eating out. What's your favourite place to dine? And that question goes to number two."
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"Grandma, what a big beak you have!"
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Michael Jackson reveals his new pet
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Why are my eyes look like this?
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Eugh! A hairy neck!
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Freddie's new 'bird' wasn't quite what Daphne and Velma had imagined.
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concept art for "the ususal suspects" reveals the true identity of Keyser Soze
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His horoscope said he'd meet "a funny bird who loved a bit of flap and tickle"
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Today on The Jeremy Kyle Show 'I love my pet dinosaur'
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The requirement for oversized pterosaur heads to be perpetually held aloft by a moving support was initially tiresome, but was found to provide much needed employment for holders of sociology degrees.
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Despite evidence, judge denies relationship with Pterosaurniesmith
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And you're sure you haven't been looking at Boy George's laptop?
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"Hey, they're not so frightening, look.." But, high above, Dad finally spotted Junior..
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Right Sir, Senior Customs officer here, we've X-Rayed your suitcase, and we'd like to ask you a few questions..
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The winner of this years nose picking competition shows off his prize bogey.
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What have you done to my ostrich, children? Hmmm, I did wonder where all that black paint and my two best umbrellas had got to.
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A young Picasso completes his first self portrait.
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An identical illustration showing the comparison between man and T.Rex,was deemed unsuitable for publication.
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In other news, a shocking accident on the football field as the mascot and half time entertainer are run over by a runaway steamroller
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Man,you really get my point!
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Even with this artists impression we were no closer to finding Banksy's true identity.
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Pterosaur was feeling smugly confident while in the police lineup
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Maam, are you SURE it is the one on the left who flew down and ate your baby?
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Using the scientifically formulated "Mate-o-Graph" for compatibility and attraction, Man and Pterosaur ranked low at below 2 mate-os.
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Amazing One-handed Origami demonstration
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Don't worry; I'm picking up the bill.
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er.. you've done something with your hair?
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Mildred the cartoonist would no longer be restrained by convention... no longer would an idea be symbolised by a light-bulb now it would be a pterosaur
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The new formulation of Lynx kept attracting the wrong kind of bird...but Mark was happy to go with it.
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Original John Lennon drawing reveals that Walrus was not his first thought.
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The fight continued to the bottom of the swimming where Sissie held WheelbarrowMan at bay with something she had found up her nose.
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I am the eggman
We are the eggmen
I am a pterosaur
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Casting for the part of Tripod No1 in War of the Worlds was not going well.
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Don't you think you're old enough to stand on your own two feet now?
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The new format for unemployment statistics was a little prehistoric.
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Scientists illustrate how woman evolved more rapidly than man.
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I'm sorry, I don't know how to use the graphing package so I did the best I could with Clip Art.
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"For the last time - I am not entering you for Crufts"
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The evidence was all down in black and white.
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Pets-R-Usosaurs billboard, 115 million BCE
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United we stand, divided we fall.
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"OK, which joker switched the labels on the stem cell samples?"
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He anticipated the deadly teeth and razor-sharp wings, but the winning shot was a swift and unexpected knee to the groin.
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IOC recalls athlete for drug test after smashing decathlon record.
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"Come on evolution! How long must a woman wait?"
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"Enough now, Dave...Children in Need was last month."
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Proof that for 65 million years evolution of the Open University lecturer has stopped.
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Brendan Cole leads his new dance partner onto the floor for a quick 'Birdie Dance'.
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Beany and Cecil - the next generation
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"I've had enough - you don't shave, your toe nails are disgusting and you just take off whenever you please. You're history! "
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New pamphlet released by the Health & Safety Inspectorate - "Dealing with dinosaurs in the workplace"
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Look in to my eyes... When you wake you will believe you're pterosaur.
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Getting the ostrich to stand still that long was the hardest part of the commision, commented the artist, sticking sand on the inside of the helmet was the key.
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It was never going to be an easy task to teach John Sergeant to dance....
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Credit crunch hits the latest version of "Where's Wally?"
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Strictly Come Dancing introduces the Pterosaur Tango...
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"Ah, I remember you off the tele...it's Bernie Clifton!"
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The pterosaur's extinction was probably down to it's inability to cope with the introduction of the Oyster card.
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This new reality dating show is a bit far fetched - a total flight of fancy!
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An old photo shows that John Lennon used to like performing the Dead Parrot Sketch.
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No! A wild goat is NOT one of your 'Daily Five'..
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"No, I love YOU the most!"
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Santa Barbara Police release a negative found at Michael Jackson’s Neverland Property, where Michael indicates the shape of nose he wanted after surgery.
The surgery is pronounced a remarkable success!
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Actually, you could use a little more attention to your nose hairs, dearest... and for heaven's sake, shave your neck.
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Nice, but does it come in any other colour?
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Mr Wainwright, I think I need to talk to you about your 'budgie'..
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Listen, as a close friend I think I have to tell you.. Dog breath. Ok?
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Sylvester has for a long time suspected Tweety pie has been taking steroids…..
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Despite his age, Jim never tired of the old leg-scratch-when-tickled-under-the-chin reflex of his new pet.
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Newly discovered cave painting depicts prehistoric geometry lesson
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The new creature was gentle, caring, and appreciative. Confirming Bill's faith in the fundamental goodness of all life.
The last thing Bill saw was it's mother.
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Pressure applied at this point causes the creature's left leg to raise up!
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Re my comment (388) above.
The irony is that Bill 'tickled' the creatures throat twice that night ... on the second occasion 'regurgitated Bill', and his indigestible neckerchief, did it from the inside.
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"... and this bit inspired the design of the Stealth Fighter."
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Her poor choice of footwear and his inadequate wings left them no option but to hail a taxi.
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Svetlana liked to stretch her neck for the camera and leaned into the pose...
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"Well, I was coming to the ball as a phoenix, and then with the dust and all, I sneezed, and stretched my larynx somethin' awful..."
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Coochy-coochy-coo
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Er... would you happen to be the latest news?
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Which came first? The tickle or the egg?
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"Oh, he's an absolute darling, and he's just wonderful with Ginger. Where is Ginger by the way?"
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Say RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
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The BBC were certain that mixing James Bond with Emu was a good idea
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So, have three curries, then fly over whoever made money out of that New Forest Lapland. Got it?
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The must-avoid Christmas gift - the flying fountain pen.
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It doesn't matter how ferocious the pterosaur pretended to be - a tickle under the chin and it was pretty much anyones...
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Chiarascuro? Never flown there!
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"Micheal Jackson shows off his new pencil sharpener!"
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And on the sixth day, God took a large sheet of paper and started folding it in really interesting ways.
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Michael Jackson teaches the Moonwalk to one of his menagerie at Neverland.
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"I promise you, Mick...this will definately be the last Rolling Stones world tour."
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As we see the baby Pterosaur pecking its way out of a trouser pocket mother comes running.
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Shadow Chancellor props up flagging spectre of the economy
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This looks much better than that Lapland New Forest attraction!
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Since the digital switchover, George was particularly unhappy with the picture quality. He also regretted not buying a colour set.
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Mmm, something which is more ugly than Cherie Blair
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An extract from the newly discovered book "Kung Fu for Cavemen" shows how to disable a pterosaur with one finger.
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London 2012 reveal their opening ceremony acts.
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A Bushtucker Trial which didn't make the grade for I'm A Celebrity...
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Many sessions of intensive therapy were needed to recover from 250 zillion years of being disregarded.
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Do NOT cock your leg in doors!
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Who are you calling a dinosaur? Just cos I'm wearing flares.
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Pterosaur hadn't reckoned with the Doctor's sonic screwdriver
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"And sparrows will grow this big if we continue driving cars and contributing to global warming..."
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Early Pixar material discovered in BBC vault
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Who's a good boy then?
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I don't care how scary you think you are, no-one enters the House without a warrant.
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And compared to this dinosaur, the speed of our new 3G web-phone is truly amazing.
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If I move it'll fall...
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Drunk and horney, Chuck used the darkness to his advantage and made his move.
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A Pterosaur is for life, not just for Christmas.
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Are you sure this is a Jack Russell?
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This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the House Rules.
430. isn't appropriate at the moment.
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Chuck was the latest victim of online misrepresentation... 6 foot stunner, long hair, slim build, big smile seeks confused fashion victim for a bit of slap and tickle.
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The first attempt to clone Michael Jackson was not wholly successful
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Having uncovered the artist's impression, all the scientists had to do now was find some bones to match it.
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Silhouette, gentille Silhouette
Silhouette, je te plumerai ...
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Gordon Ramsey's recipe for baked pterosaur was missing one vital ingredient
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Aha I can see you do like butter.
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Jenson says his goodbyes to Honda's F1 nosecone tester
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At last Bill Gates sees Vista for what it is.
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Harry had found the perfect present for the scientist who has everything. But how to wrap it?
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Nike say they won't renew your sponsorship unless you wear that tick the right way up
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For my next trick I am going to swivel the pterosaur on my index finger.
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Well thats just about the size of it
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Bird man of AlcoholTrance
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The global financial crisis hits hollywood as Jurassic Park IV is released.
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Battery Turkey production reveals devastating consequences. In an attempt to calm the Christmas disquiet, Defra Minister offers herself up for breakfast.
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What do you mean "it's pining for the fjords!"
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A baby sparrow is for life, not just for Christmas, warned Big Cook.
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Barbara Woodhouse Lesson 1:- SITT!
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Ant and Dec reveal their true alien form.
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....and this finger has X-ray power!
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Were you there, did you see this heinous crime of a pterosaur being held up at knife point, if so call crimewatch on...
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Number 4 in the Health & Safety Executive series - "Dealing with dinosaurs in the workplace"
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Halt there, dude. Not another step.
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"I'm sure if you were a sculpture, mate, you'd definitely win The Turner Prize!"
Geoff Brown, Newcastle upon Tyne.
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However hard Mable pushed, she could just not get Peter Saur to stand up straight.
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Jill wasn’t entirely happy with her new nail extensions…
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Debbie was still having trouble getting the right nib to fit her fountain pen
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EasyJet unvail their new no frills airline
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Artist : Yeah, I spent ages on the illustration but got bored by the end so I just gave the bird thing a triangle for its head; do you think anyone will notice?
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BOOZE BRITAIN
"....and finally in Newcastle, after 17 bars, 6 kebabs and 6000 units of alcohol this young pterosaur was arrested for flashing his testicles, shouting at bilboards and puking on himself."
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Geek balances pointy hatted dinosaur on end of his finger!
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"Call me Mister Terror Saw."
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Even though her techniques were somewhat older than the Pterosaur, Barbara Woodhouse found that her "sit" command worked with great effect.
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Banksy seemed to have lost the plot.
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Anton Du Beke meets his next partner.
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This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the House Rules.
This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the House Rules.
This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the House Rules.
This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the House Rules.
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