A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.
So now we know what happens when the curtain falls after a fairytale wedding. Happily ever after lasted until "SHE branded him tight and HE dubbed her a control freak" - the Sun's take on the dissolution of Mrs and Mr Madonna's blissful union of seven and a half years.
Still, hats off to both 'em. Paper Monitor cannot imagine spending seven and a half years - let alone seven and a half months, weeks, days, hours or even minutes - in the company of either one. But it is to Mr Madonna's credit that surrounded by fawning flunkies, he has "managed to remain a pain in the arse" - for which the Independent once commended him.
The Sun reports that for Madonna, a "huge reason" for the break-up is Guy's belief that Kabbalah is "hokum" (a bit rich, given that he has his own hokum about how he got that scar).
Over at the Daily Mirror, 3am girl Polly has her own theory as to why the union was doomed. "They never had a celebrity couple name did they? While we all talked about Brandelina and TomKat, they were just Madonna and Guy."
Even the Financial Times covers their divorce announcement. How Paper Monitor would love to have been a fly on the wall at that editorial meeting. Lacking a showbiz reporter - well they would, wouldn't they - the news desk gives the task to its law courts correspondent.
Her intro reads: "Wealthy men who have long bemoaned London's reputation as the divorce capital of the world may finally gain some comfort in the form of Madonna's split from film-maker Guy Ritchie."
See what they did there? While he needs an explainer, even FT readers are on a first-name-only basis with her.