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Your Letters

16:24 UK time, Friday, 12 September 2008

Monitor note: Happy 500th edition of Your Letters, everyone.

Please can an American help me - I want to know what on earth a "hockey mom" is. Does this mean she plays hockey and is a mother? Does the same logic make Bill Clinton a "saxophone pop"? And so what either way? I am at a loss as to what the significance is and on earth the term matters in a presidential election.
Martin, Bristol, UK

In Laptop delivers all-day computing, you really need to change your terms of reference - "travellers can take more than 10 trips on the Eurostar between London and Paris before recharging" - in light of Channel Tunnel disruption goes on.
Colin Larcombe, Orleans, France

Lavender 'calms dental patients' and it also helps epilepsy. To the point where I grow it in the garden and on a bad day sprinkle it under my pillowcase. Marvellous stuff.
Mel, Godalming

The cost of the fuel package is said to be £910m. Where does this figure come from? The UK population is only 61m so if they gave us a £1m each to pay the gas bill it would be much cheaper. How can giving pensioners £25 a week if it gets chilly, and paying for insulation, come to over £10m for every person in the country - spin or bad maths?
MJ, Ingatestone

Fingers crossed my XL underpants don't go bust as well.
Mike, Newcastle upon Tyne

Motion, potion, lotion, ocean, emotion, commotion... I wonder why none of our aspiring limerick writers tried rhyming Laureate?
Matthew D, Lincoln

Paul T, worried about shots fired near vulnerable parts of the body (Thursday letters) - is this a bad time to mention that impact rounds are low velocity, so tend to hit the target a bit lower than where you were aiming?
Caroline Mersey, London, UK

Was browsing this week's photos, picture 11 is surely not the Colin Montgomery? Is this his way of getting away from the Ryder Cup?
Jordan Dias, London, UK

Following How Do You Solve A Problem Like Maria, Any Dream Will Do and I'd Do Anything, I shall be most disappointed in the BBC if the show searching for a new Wizard of Oz Dorothy and Toto - isn't called I'll Get You My Pretty - And Your Little Dog, Too.
Wells of Tunbridge Disgusted, Kent, UK

Re the Queen and the misdelivered lager turned away from Windsor Castle - I bet Phillip was upset.
Helen, Leicester

Congratulations to eltelsopwith, the winner of Friday's caption competition. It's a shame I don't get it. Am I alone?
Richard Place, Barnstaple, UK

Aaaagh! I wanted to enter the caption competition but am like two minutes late. Is it TOO LATE!?
Paul Speed, Grimsby
Monitor note: Yes. Better luck next week.

I didn't think size mattered?
Stuart, Croydon

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