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16:00 UK time, Wednesday, 10 September 2008

Hello! Is anybody there? I've been stuck at my desk since 8 o'clock this morning and I'm wondering if the world has in fact ended without me knowing and the microcosm that is my office is the only thing left. If so I need to plan how I'm going to survive the rest of my life behind my computer screen. There is only a certain amount of social networking you can do with the rest of humanity having expired.
Alastair, London


Monitor note: Gotcha!

Thanks doom mongers. Thanks a lot. Expecting the end of the world, I decided last night to go on a bit of a truth mission. Taking this last chance to tell people what I think.
It now turns out we are going to be just fine, and I have a lot of apologising to do. A lot.
Kev Guthrie, Sheffield

May I take the opportunity to address all those sighing in relief at the LHC's safe switch-on. The world was never going to end today because this potentially infernal contraption is merely being put through more tests, albeit this time at full scale. The danger arises when it actually comes to colliding stuff, which hasn't happened yet. So far the team are merely making sure they can successfully make particles move in a big circle. Go science!
Craig, Chester, UK

I'd like to nominate a fact from your Cern Q&A as "fact of the week" - a proton in an LHC experiment has about the same energy as a mosquito in flight.
HB, London

Re DR Congo frees goats from prison: I haven't laughed so much since a man married one. Fabulous police quote: "The minister said many police had serious gaps in their knowledge and they would be sent for retraining." Priceless. (Oh and no-one and I mean no-one is to searce for the man marries goat story - we don't want it in the top read stories again, the goat is dead, get over it.)
Naomi P, Sussex

Twins may be separated at school: For a second, I thought school biology lessons were getting a whole lot more technical.
Jinja, Edinburgh

I am surprised at the lack of letters/coverage of the Paralympics games. Currently Team GB are top of the medals table, surely that is something to be proud of? Congratulations to all the medallists.
Alex Kennett, Bath

I'd like to know why the iPlayer won't let me listen to some Radio 4 comedy programs but the error message it gives me makes me suspect that I won't get a straight answer:
"Mark Watson Makes the World Substantially Better: Series 2: Honesty is unavailable at this time."
Michael Daw, Rockville, MD, US

QJ, you couldn't use seawater to put out the fire on Weston-Super-Mare pier (Tuesday's letters). The tide was out and, as anyone who's tried walking to the sea knows, after the sand there are estuarine mud-flats, which don't support the weight of people very well, let alone fire engines.
Sharon, Portsmouth, UK

So the poet laureate feels that he's got a thankless job; paid to write a poem occasionally and HM QE2 doesn't pat him on the back and say, "Well done! One loves the way you rhymed hat and cat on the second and third lines!"
The poor lamb.
My heart, liver and one or two other entrails go out to him as he experiences the stark reality that most of us live with every day. There's got to be at least a limerick in this... trouble is that whenever I try to think of something appropriate to rhyme "Motion" with, all I can think of is "motion".
Mark Kite, Halesowen, UK

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