A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.
Journalists are like carpenters. Most deal with the rougher end of things, nailing planks together and so forth. Most are happy with their lot, having no aspirations to be joiner or cabinetmaker or other more rarefied worker of wood.
But sometimes even the humblest word-carpenter can soar. So is the achievement of Tom Horan in the Daily Telegraph today.
In an interview with 80s synth star Gary Numan, he conjures up a paragraph on a par with a Chippendale chair in reference to the singer's wife.
"A self-confessed plastic-surgery addict with an alpine cleavage and hair extensions in iridescent pink, Gemma exuded the air of warmth and thoughtfulness that so often personifies vaguely Gothic/industrial types. She referred to the master of the house at all times as 'Biffo'."
Forget whether alpine and Gothic should have leading caps or not, this paragraph soars like a textual eagle. There is so much here to digest.
And from one word-carpenter to another, Paper Monitor feels obliged to draw everyone's attention to a coming attraction.
As far as can be ascertained, the Guardian has not reviewed Guy Ritchie's latest, Rocknrolla, and we're hoping Peter Bradshaw will be doing it tomorrow. We've highlighted Mr Bradshaw's work before.
But everything hinges on whether he found it appalling. If he did, Paper Monitor will be in inky heaven.