At the Playboy Mansion, Hugh Hefner had a sign above the door bell that read "if you don't swing, don't ring". Seems to tie the swinging and voice mail service stories together nicely and might even be a good advertising strap line for the service. If swinging is indeed everywhere, so is one's mobile, and if one is "busy" at the party, leaving a voice mail seems the most practical thing to do. And as per the suggestion that things sound better in Latin (Monday's Letters), let it read "si non oscillas, noli tintinnare".
Candace, New Jersey, US
Irony truly has been taken to new heights.
The idea that pets resemble their owners is certainly true in this story.
Catherine Hall, Ealing, London
"It's a unique experience." So says Gemma Morris, British backpacker in Australia on drinking coffee at Starbucks. Gemma - if you weren't already backpacking across the world, I'd be tempted to suggest that you get out more.
I'm glad of the clarification here: "The Holy Grail - the Indiana Jones prop, rather than the Christian relic - was bought for $22,500 (£11,429)" in this story. I mean, I'd have been quite miffed if the Holy Grail had actually been found, and the first I heard of it was when it was auctioned off.
Jennie F, Edinburgh
Bulletproof bras for German policewomen seems like a good idea - but can any of your readers explain why they need POLIZEI written across the front in big letters?
George, Cambridge, UK