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Paper Monitor

12:54 UK time, Friday, 29 August 2008

A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.

Altogether now: Da da-da da da da da DAH, da da-da da da!

Yes, it's almost twinkle-toes a-clock as the BBC unveils the line-up of unfamiliar faces stars who will take part in Strictly Come Dancing come September.

With 16 to chose from to illustrate this, the papers are true to form.

The Daily Mirror - headline "Strictly the Sexiest" - clearly hopes at least one couple will get it on off the dancefloor. "It's that time of year again, when Brendan Cole's latest girlfriend starts shaking in her slingbacks... the notorious ladies man has been paired with stunning model Lisa Snowdon."

The uninitiated may wonder "who they?" HE made headlines for his chemistry with past contestant Natasha Kaplinksy. SHE made headlines for dating George Clooney.

Ditto the Daily Express, headline "Strictly saucy" and "Hot to trot". It plasters Lisa and Brendan in a clinch on the front page, and a triumvirate of attractive young things - Jodie Kidd, Rachel Stevens and Christine Bleakley (sans Adrian Chiles) - on page three.

The Daily Mail opts for long-shot John Sergeant, one-time "portly newsman" turned TV personality. He's 64, bless him, and the women of Middle England who buy the Mail will no doubt hold him up as an example to their own husband.

So too does the Daily Telegraph. Although perhaps because captains of industry may wish to hold the rather awkward-looking Sergeant up as an example to their wives as why they shouldn't be dragged along to mambo classes. ("Besides, dear, do you really want me to be pressed against an all-but-naked Christina Aguilera look-alike? I thought not.")

Neither the Sun nor the Independent are strictly Strictly papers - for completely different reasons - and so make no mention of the show.

And the Guardian is more interested in its poster boy Barack Obama (note to Boris Johnson - his jacket is buttoned up).

Finally, a thank you to those who suggested columnist-based names for the mice who have taken up residence in Monitor Towers. "Bob" has a certain ring about it.

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