Caption Competition

13:29 UK time, Friday, 29 August 2008

Winning entries in the caption competition.

This week, Conchita, a seven-month-old Mangabey monkey, cuddles her foster mother at London Zoo. But what's being said?

The competition is now closed. Full rules can be seen here [PDF].

Thanks to all who entered. The prize of a small amount of kudos to the following:

6. allhallowseve
Should have gone to Specsavers!

5. Kipson
"Good disguise Elvis."
"Not so bad yourself Osama."

4. youngWillz
Paddington states quite categorically he did not ask for Marmoset sandwiches.

3. W_K_Snowdon
It was at that moment Sweep realised she had been replaced in Sooty's affections.

2. Rob Falconer
Evelyn Waugh finally decided to revise the first draft of Brideshead Revisited.

1. DavidDeeMoz
Charles Darwin woke up screaming - it was THAT dream, again.

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Comments

1. At 12:09pm on 28 Aug 2008, Dodie_James wrote:
Conchita, that's very naughty, now give Mr Miliband his teddy back..

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2. At 12:09pm on 28 Aug 2008, Candace9839 wrote:
Bear necessities

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3. At 12:11pm on 28 Aug 2008, purpleprole wrote:
Damon Albarn introduces a new character, Teddsy, into his Monkey opera.

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4. At 12:15pm on 28 Aug 2008, Rob Falconer wrote:
This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the House Rules.
5. At 12:15pm on 28 Aug 2008, Rob Falconer wrote:
Scientists hail breakthrough in successfully mating monkey with boa constrictor

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6. At 12:16pm on 28 Aug 2008, Candace9839 wrote:
Wey, hey, we're the Monkeys

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7. At 12:19pm on 28 Aug 2008, Rob Falconer wrote:
You should have sent me to Specsavers, Mummy

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8. At 12:19pm on 28 Aug 2008, Candace9839 wrote:
Conchita had wanted Paddington, but alas Fozzie would have to do

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9. At 12:20pm on 28 Aug 2008, BigCodsy wrote:
Paddington Bear remembers just why he left Peru in the first place!

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10. At 12:21pm on 28 Aug 2008, Rob Falconer wrote:
Evelyn Waugh finally decided to revise the first draft of "Brideshead Revisited"

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11. At 12:22pm on 28 Aug 2008, Rob Falconer wrote:
Tarzan was actually a lot hairier than in Edgar Rice Burrough's book

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12. At 12:22pm on 28 Aug 2008, Dodie_James wrote:
At the Teddy Bear's picnic, seems the surprise was that they weren't all cuddly herbivores..

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13. At 12:23pm on 28 Aug 2008, Steve-L19 wrote:
100 Grand in used notes or the teddy gets it!

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14. At 12:23pm on 28 Aug 2008, Tony Doyle wrote:
I was famous once, I used to do the trailers for BBC's Olympic coverage... hmmph... I used to be on the testcard....

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15. At 12:25pm on 28 Aug 2008, Candace9839 wrote:
Newly discovered Ross Perot baby pictures published by the Sun

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16. At 12:25pm on 28 Aug 2008, Fauconnier wrote:
Dope on a rope

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17. At 12:25pm on 28 Aug 2008, kamrengirl wrote:
She's MY hunnybear I tell you! All MINE! Now, back off!

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18. At 12:27pm on 28 Aug 2008, Woundedpride wrote:
Leave my mum alone, you reporters! She's got laryngitis and can't speak...

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19. At 12:28pm on 28 Aug 2008, Fauconnier wrote:
Time for your make-up, Mr Bean

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20. At 12:28pm on 28 Aug 2008, man_mountain wrote:
Knowing that his time in office was drawing to a close, President Bush sought comfort with one of his closest friends.

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21. At 12:29pm on 28 Aug 2008, spareribman wrote:
Quick, take my picture cuddling this monkey

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22. At 12:29pm on 28 Aug 2008, Marquee wrote:
When I asked for a photo of a mischievous young thing in a teddy, this wasn't what I had in mind...

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23. At 12:29pm on 28 Aug 2008, sarahtrieste wrote:
Bear with me....

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24. At 12:30pm on 28 Aug 2008, Tara674 wrote:
I've never even heard of Harry Harlow 1958! I just love my Teddy!
(psychology joke, look it up!)

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25. At 12:32pm on 28 Aug 2008, Eregol wrote:
Mummy said I had bear faced cheek.
Seems she was right.

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26. At 12:32pm on 28 Aug 2008, Dodie_James wrote:
Please don't let them make me watch Big Brother, please teddy..

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27. At 12:32pm on 28 Aug 2008, Don_Booth wrote:
The line-up for the new series of Strictly Come Dancing is unveiled.

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28. At 12:32pm on 28 Aug 2008, wotnocaptioncomp wrote:
Announcement of new 'Celebrity Come Dancing' couple raises eyebrows

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29. At 12:33pm on 28 Aug 2008, Candace9839 wrote:
Dolores had obviously misunderstood what Rodney meant by the monkey and teddy comment

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30. At 12:33pm on 28 Aug 2008, purpleprole wrote:
"Your mother and I have been talking, and we think it's time to tell you we're not your real parents"

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31. At 12:33pm on 28 Aug 2008, jarkinstall wrote:
Conchita still has alot to learn about un-doing bra straps.

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32. At 12:34pm on 28 Aug 2008, nick_fowler wrote:
Terrorists train monkeys in gorilla warfare

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33. At 12:34pm on 28 Aug 2008, MersonTuffers wrote:
When Conchita said she needed a pooh this wan't quite what she had in mind......

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34. At 12:34pm on 28 Aug 2008, nick_fowler wrote:
Why did they christen me Conchita? Actually, I eat shells.

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35. At 12:35pm on 28 Aug 2008, stevey1000 wrote:
monkey bears resemblence......

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36. At 12:35pm on 28 Aug 2008, nick_fowler wrote:
Brideshead Zoo Revisited

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37. At 12:36pm on 28 Aug 2008, deejay wrote:
My mother can't talk to the press at the moment. She's just had her dinner and she's stuffed.

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38. At 12:36pm on 28 Aug 2008, MootSights wrote:
...and I'm a monkey's uncle.

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39. At 12:36pm on 28 Aug 2008, nick_fowler wrote:
Unfortunately, the experiment failed when someone left a mirror in the monkey enclosure

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40. At 12:36pm on 28 Aug 2008, Dodie_James wrote:
More revelations from behind the scenes of X Factor, as the 'real' voice of Simon Cowell is revealed..

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41. At 12:36pm on 28 Aug 2008, sarahtrieste wrote:
What d'you mean we don't look alike? She has my eyes.

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42. At 12:38pm on 28 Aug 2008, OurSwipe wrote:
I Warn You - Take This Away From Me And I'll Go Ape !

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43. At 12:40pm on 28 Aug 2008, OurSwipe wrote:
Oi - Cuddles !

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44. At 12:40pm on 28 Aug 2008, nick_fowler wrote:
Wiinnie-the-Pooh finally managed to find someone Brad and Angelina had missed

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45. At 12:40pm on 28 Aug 2008, notstevenall wrote:
New Strictly Come Dancing line-up announced

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46. At 12:41pm on 28 Aug 2008, nick_fowler wrote:
Rowan Atkinson was later found hugged to death in a corner of the monkey enclosure

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47. At 12:42pm on 28 Aug 2008, Candace9839 wrote:
She's named him Charleton

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48. At 12:42pm on 28 Aug 2008, nick_fowler wrote:
Wouldn't Robert have been a better name for the monkey? Robert Mangabey.

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49. At 12:42pm on 28 Aug 2008, baxendale51 wrote:
Ladies and Gentlemen, the worlds funniest super glue accident

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50. At 12:43pm on 28 Aug 2008, Spatchio wrote:
Animals made homeless after a zoo is repossessed, as sub-primate mortgage crisis worsens.

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51. At 12:43pm on 28 Aug 2008, Candace9839 wrote:
She's named him Charlton

(spelling correction)

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52. At 12:43pm on 28 Aug 2008, OurSwipe wrote:
Beary Primates !

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53. At 12:44pm on 28 Aug 2008, nick_fowler wrote:
Conchita's mother was an avid astrologist and often asked "What's ursine?"

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54. At 12:44pm on 28 Aug 2008, nick_fowler wrote:
Leaving her surrogate mother was a great wrench for the monkey.

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55. At 12:44pm on 28 Aug 2008, nick_fowler wrote:
"I'm a Believer," said the monkey

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56. At 12:45pm on 28 Aug 2008, embraboy wrote:
Charles and Camilla cuddle for a photo opportunity.

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57. At 12:46pm on 28 Aug 2008, penny-farthing wrote:
Fostering has really transformed me.People used to say I could be a real bear.

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58. At 12:46pm on 28 Aug 2008, Candace9839 wrote:
It was going to be tough to replace Roddy McDowall in the prequel to the Planet of the Apes

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59. At 12:47pm on 28 Aug 2008, Marquee wrote:
Fostering service in crisis: attempt discovered to cover up shortage of suitable foster parents and children.

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60. At 12:48pm on 28 Aug 2008, Bo_Uddin wrote:
"Don't move teddy, just a few more snaps for them to aaargghh over!"

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61. At 12:48pm on 28 Aug 2008, Candace9839 wrote:
One more move and the bear gets it

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62. At 12:48pm on 28 Aug 2008, Rob Falconer wrote:
They call her Conchita's foster mother because they wash her in Australian lager - no wonder she's hugging her so tightly

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63. At 12:49pm on 28 Aug 2008, riche66 wrote:
Manchester United reject claim that Rooney's cousin is too young to sign

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64. At 12:50pm on 28 Aug 2008, Rob Falconer wrote:
An early draft of "Brideshead Revisited" had featured Lord Greystoke

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65. At 12:50pm on 28 Aug 2008, placey1 wrote:
Prince Charles' first birthday pictures revealed on internet

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66. At 12:50pm on 28 Aug 2008, Mute Joe wrote:
Conchita was a whizz at the coconut shy.

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67. At 12:50pm on 28 Aug 2008, superiorMaurice wrote:
Now that's what I call a bear hug!

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68. At 12:51pm on 28 Aug 2008, Marquee wrote:
Outrage at latest range of living fur stoles aimed at pre-school market.

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69. At 12:52pm on 28 Aug 2008, OurSwipe wrote:
A Chimp Off The Old Block !

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70. At 12:53pm on 28 Aug 2008, odmund wrote:
Directors of the Olympic closing ceremony were relieved to find that, this time, the one with the cute face also had the voice.

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71. At 12:54pm on 28 Aug 2008, allinred wrote:
Please, someone help me, I think mummy is dead.

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72. At 12:54pm on 28 Aug 2008, penny-farthing wrote:
Judging from the ragged remains in the tiger enclosure, the foster-mother project was not quite so successful.

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73. At 12:54pm on 28 Aug 2008, zenowatch wrote:

Here we come, walkin'
Down the street.
We get the funniest looks from
Ev'ry one we meet.
Hey, hey, we're the Monkees
And people say we monkey around.
But we're too busy singing
To put anybody down!

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74. At 12:56pm on 28 Aug 2008, stuartwjcollins wrote:
I think with a bit of practice we could win Strictly Come Dancing

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75. At 12:56pm on 28 Aug 2008, Woundedpride wrote:
Whaddya mean, she's not my mum? Look at the ears, mate, the ears! Hers are only fluffier 'cos she comes from Norway.

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76. At 12:56pm on 28 Aug 2008, sternpaddler wrote:
(1) Bubbles.
(2) Bubbles on being told that Michael Jackson was successful in his custody battle.

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77. At 12:56pm on 28 Aug 2008, Spatchio wrote:
Conchita says her final goodbye, as the end of the Olympics marked the return of traditional menus to restaurants.

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78. At 12:56pm on 28 Aug 2008, neildwilson wrote:
No I'm not a Baboon - they have a bear behind!

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79. At 12:57pm on 28 Aug 2008, joking1977 wrote:
All this media attention is enough to make me fill macaques...

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80. At 12:58pm on 28 Aug 2008, lukedunn wrote:
Vivisection scandal as protesters claim Pfizer has unlawfully tested new aphrodisiac.

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81. At 1:00pm on 28 Aug 2008, Rob Falconer wrote:
The keeper at the monkey enclosure was a bit deaf, and hadn't quite grasped the suggestion that Conchita exercise more by taking up Yoga

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82. At 1:00pm on 28 Aug 2008, 1984Laura wrote:
Joan Rivers heard on the grapevine that hugging teddy bears could help fight signs of aging.

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83. At 1:01pm on 28 Aug 2008, GPWBridge wrote:
Daddy Bear: Who has been eating my porridge!?
Mummy Bear: Who has been eating my porridge?!
Baby Bear - splutters, gargle: help!

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84. At 1:01pm on 28 Aug 2008, omnipotent wrote:
What do you mean it's a rare Steiff? It still comes apart just as easy!

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85. At 1:02pm on 28 Aug 2008, Rob Falconer wrote:
Mother Bear with Ursa Minor

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86. At 1:02pm on 28 Aug 2008, mikeonmondays wrote:
The BBC were forced to look for another mascot following the 'Mudsy-Pudsey In Funky-Monkey Cage-Rage Banana-Bender' tabloid stories...

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87. At 1:03pm on 28 Aug 2008, stumo99 wrote:
Paddington's greatest fears were realized when he met his new cell mate.

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88. At 1:04pm on 28 Aug 2008, Rob Falconer wrote:
Hamley's announce they have been raided by a team of very agile burglars

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89. At 1:05pm on 28 Aug 2008, Manisha wrote:
This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the House Rules.
90. At 1:07pm on 28 Aug 2008, DartmoorKid wrote:
Teddy: "So...you really ARE the reincarnation of Rosemary Clooney?"

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91. At 1:08pm on 28 Aug 2008, penny-farthing wrote:
In a very unusual Siamese twin separation surgeons were concerned that traumatic loss of stuffing might lead to teddy's demise.

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92. At 1:10pm on 28 Aug 2008, izere2 wrote:
You may well laugh - but when you're as scared as I am you'll cling to anything!

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93. At 1:11pm on 28 Aug 2008, hartshj wrote:
Zookepers hoped nobody would notice Charlotte, the bear's 7 year old owner, in the lion cage

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94. At 1:11pm on 28 Aug 2008, dinasyddraig wrote:
Will you be my new Mummy? The nasty men ate her face and sucked out her eyes.

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95. At 1:11pm on 28 Aug 2008, MiriamD wrote:
Who's the Teddy?

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96. At 1:12pm on 28 Aug 2008, Cherlew wrote:
He aint heavy, he's my monkey.

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97. At 1:14pm on 28 Aug 2008, Dave_Benyon wrote:
"Aloysius and I have come down for the new Brideshead auditions, don't you know?"

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98. At 1:14pm on 28 Aug 2008, Stella Worton wrote:
Ken and Barbie are back together.

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99. At 1:14pm on 28 Aug 2008, kubstar wrote:
You'll look after me won't you Ted....

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100. At 1:15pm on 28 Aug 2008, charltones wrote:
No Conchita, you can't call your foster parent "Mohammed". How about Mary?

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101. At 1:15pm on 28 Aug 2008, blueredders wrote:
Act normal, keep smiling and we'll both get out of here alive.

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102. At 1:15pm on 28 Aug 2008, cynicalHighlander wrote:
No Gordon she's not available for the Glenrothes by-election, go away.

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103. At 1:16pm on 28 Aug 2008, blueredders wrote:
I don't care what the other kids say about you I love you mum.

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104. At 1:17pm on 28 Aug 2008, 28Handicap wrote:
Once apparently quite common, Monkey arctophiles are now quite rare; here we catch a brief glimpse of one hanging on for dear life.

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105. At 1:17pm on 28 Aug 2008, Spatchio wrote:
The image still haunts the bear as he never forgave himself for not warning his best friend that the spacecraft did not have a re-entry module.

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106. At 1:18pm on 28 Aug 2008, doudourules wrote:
Close Encounters of the cutest Kind

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107. At 1:18pm on 28 Aug 2008, countrysidez wrote:
Max Clifford has just beargun to understand the monkey making opportunities of this happy union.

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108. At 1:18pm on 28 Aug 2008, marrra wrote:
when conchita met gordon brown they got on instantly

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109. At 1:19pm on 28 Aug 2008, Luker21 wrote:
'At least it's better than what that randy terrier did'

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110. At 1:19pm on 28 Aug 2008, KindNepenthe wrote:
There is a monkey hugging a teddy bear.

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111. At 1:20pm on 28 Aug 2008, vilagitotorony wrote:
Better than nothing to hold onto...

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112. At 1:20pm on 28 Aug 2008, dactonbond wrote:
Teddy: "Will you just stop monkeying around and give me a proper kiss"?

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113. At 1:20pm on 28 Aug 2008, hartski wrote:
Monkey named as mascot for the 2008 Bear-Cling Olympics......

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114. At 1:21pm on 28 Aug 2008, onequid wrote:
Revealed two new contestants on strictly come dacncing

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115. At 1:23pm on 28 Aug 2008, elliepaws wrote:
I'm scared Mummy, can I have a bear hug?

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116. At 1:24pm on 28 Aug 2008, NurseLou wrote:
Well.. you're a bit ugly.. but you're my mummy and I love you

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117. At 1:24pm on 28 Aug 2008, Angie wrote:
Ignore the camera, darling, just do my necklace up and we'll have tea.

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118. At 1:24pm on 28 Aug 2008, iwishidthoughtofthat wrote:
Hear no evil, see no evil, squeak no evil

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119. At 1:25pm on 28 Aug 2008, youngWillz wrote:
"Get out of South Ossetia, or the 1980 Moscow Olympics mascot gets it!"

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120. At 1:26pm on 28 Aug 2008, youngWillz wrote:
"Mummy, I have combed my face, can I do yours now?"

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121. At 1:27pm on 28 Aug 2008, popjules wrote:
mmm I think I may be adopted....

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122. At 1:28pm on 28 Aug 2008, GregMorley wrote:
I just need to find the hidden nail file and I can break out of this prison!

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123. At 1:28pm on 28 Aug 2008, Serpentinfire0 wrote:
Help. I've been glued to a fluffy bear.

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124. At 1:29pm on 28 Aug 2008, GreatUncleBulgariaJr wrote:
Oh God, don't look mummy. It's horrible. Our bit of the closing ceremony is just soooooo embarrassing.

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125. At 1:29pm on 28 Aug 2008, iwishidthoughtofthat wrote:
Grizzly wear

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126. At 1:30pm on 28 Aug 2008, tbalbone wrote:
Monkey see, Monkey do...Teddy became a little paranoid at what he had seen and what monkey planned to do.

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127. At 1:30pm on 28 Aug 2008, kaydarling0000 wrote:
My mum may not be perfect - but she's all MINE !

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128. At 1:31pm on 28 Aug 2008, DylanRex wrote:
I know it's only a teddy, it's just I am so desperate to be famous.

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129. At 1:33pm on 28 Aug 2008, goldenallan wrote:
You can sure hold your breath for a long time

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130. At 1:34pm on 28 Aug 2008, bright-eyedKOwen wrote:
Banana's or no, I'll still love you.

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131. At 1:35pm on 28 Aug 2008, truezoul wrote:
can we make out now...

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132. At 1:35pm on 28 Aug 2008, Rob Falconer wrote:
Conchita and Gordon Brown? But it's clearly Tony Bair.

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133. At 1:37pm on 28 Aug 2008, henrytheturkey wrote:
"No Dubya, when you leave the White House Teddy Rooze has to stay behind."

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134. At 1:37pm on 28 Aug 2008, capricornPinkhottie wrote:
As my mother has always said there's someone out there for everyone ...

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135. At 1:38pm on 28 Aug 2008, J2C2J2K wrote:
Father Ted!

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136. At 1:38pm on 28 Aug 2008, pinkfloydareace wrote:
I want his fur

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137. At 1:38pm on 28 Aug 2008, thedianab wrote:
I take more after my father's side of the family...

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138. At 1:40pm on 28 Aug 2008, youngWillz wrote:
Mowgli begins to regress as he appeals for Baloo's safe return...

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139. At 1:40pm on 28 Aug 2008, youngWillz wrote:
Starsky, in Hutch, Huggy Bear

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140. At 1:41pm on 28 Aug 2008, pinkfloydareace wrote:
The live action remake of The Jungle Book wasn't a good idea.

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141. At 1:43pm on 28 Aug 2008, OurSwipe wrote:
Bubble's Chum !

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142. At 1:43pm on 28 Aug 2008, sternpaddler wrote:
There there my dear - don't worry - not many men are from Nantucket

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143. At 1:43pm on 28 Aug 2008, eritona wrote:
"For the last time, feather boas do not eat chimps. Now let go."

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144. At 1:43pm on 28 Aug 2008, sideshowskids wrote:
Cochita nonchalently held the head on before anyone realised what she'd done.

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145. At 1:43pm on 28 Aug 2008, youngWillz wrote:
"Yes dear, Tiny Tears was a bad mother, but I am here now"

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146. At 1:44pm on 28 Aug 2008, jamied132 wrote:
I'd rather have a bowl of Coco Pops!

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147. At 1:44pm on 28 Aug 2008, John_Sevenoaks wrote:
Conchita was convinced that her mummy would talk to her again - just as soon as she finished sewing her head back on.

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148. At 1:46pm on 28 Aug 2008, supadaisykat wrote:
It i'll never work, i'm not a natural blonde

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149. At 1:46pm on 28 Aug 2008, johnudberg wrote:
Mum... is Winnie the Pooh really my day?

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150. At 1:46pm on 28 Aug 2008, johnudberg wrote:
Mum... is Winnie the Pooh really my dad?

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151. At 1:46pm on 28 Aug 2008, youngWillz wrote:
Staring Out Competition reaches its climax...

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152. At 1:47pm on 28 Aug 2008, robmoo wrote:
Conchita: "Aww, I love my new teddy."
Teddy: "Argghh! A talking monkey!"

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153. At 1:48pm on 28 Aug 2008, Grondemon wrote:
You listen - every time I squeeze my mummy, she squeaks!

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154. At 1:49pm on 28 Aug 2008, John_Sevenoaks wrote:
'No offence, mum, but I think I prefer the bottled milk.'

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155. At 1:50pm on 28 Aug 2008, Mane_Galinha wrote:
Spurs' Sporting Director Damien Comolli poses for photographs with new signing Roman Pavlyuchenko...

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156. At 1:50pm on 28 Aug 2008, Wlawrence wrote:
Monkey business holding on in bear market

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157. At 1:50pm on 28 Aug 2008, youngWillz wrote:
Anti-vivisectionists discover latest experiments have gone too far

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158. At 1:51pm on 28 Aug 2008, NormanAS wrote:

Moderators meet to discuss Caption Competition entries

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159. At 1:51pm on 28 Aug 2008, DavidDeeMoz wrote:
"The one thing more horrible than Heffalumps", thought Pooh, "is Christopher Robin's friends and relations".

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160. At 1:51pm on 28 Aug 2008, John_Sevenoaks wrote:
'Alright, mummy, if you won't smile for the cameras, neither shall I!'

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161. At 1:51pm on 28 Aug 2008, doughtsh wrote:
Groucho Marx discovers that reincarnation's not all it's cracked up to be.

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162. At 1:51pm on 28 Aug 2008, planetmarshalluk wrote:
Monkey Bear cult latest to approve gay clergy.

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163. At 1:51pm on 28 Aug 2008, Carol Harrop wrote:
They're all looking at me - good job I don't have a bear behind!

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164. At 1:52pm on 28 Aug 2008, Moggye wrote:
Do you think animals feel emotions too?

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165. At 1:52pm on 28 Aug 2008, Marquee wrote:
Carry on pulling the stuffing from the back of my neck and it'll be the last straw...

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166. At 1:52pm on 28 Aug 2008, flyingcrazyhorse wrote:
He's mine mine mine mine!!

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167. At 1:53pm on 28 Aug 2008, teazeldad wrote:
Now that we found love, what are we gonna do with it?

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168. At 1:53pm on 28 Aug 2008, Fi-Glos wrote:
Prime-mate

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169. At 1:53pm on 28 Aug 2008, John_Sevenoaks wrote:
New Strictly Come Dancing contestants prepared to work for peanuts.

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170. At 1:54pm on 28 Aug 2008, Annflewn wrote:
Bear necessity

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171. At 1:54pm on 28 Aug 2008, NormanAS wrote:

Kenny Logan stunned at Mangabey revelations

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172. At 1:56pm on 28 Aug 2008, youngWillz wrote:
Big Ted discovers too late that meeting Hambel's relatives was a mistake...

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173. At 1:56pm on 28 Aug 2008, chappers009 wrote:
You nip out for a pint of milk, the next thing I see you're in the papers in Sudan of all places!!!

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174. At 1:57pm on 28 Aug 2008, snafuasever wrote:
David Bellamy exclaims "gwapple me gwape nuts"

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175. At 1:58pm on 28 Aug 2008, OurSwipe wrote:
Tell Mr Attenborough I Agree To The Interview If I Can Bring My Teddy With Me.

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176. At 1:58pm on 28 Aug 2008, benmckechnie wrote:
Katie Price and Peter Andre unveil their new child to the world in a 'Hello!' exclusive photo shoot.

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177. At 1:59pm on 28 Aug 2008, youngWillz wrote:
Caged Associated Press photographer meets his new roomies

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178. At 1:59pm on 28 Aug 2008, chappers009 wrote:
Paddington begins to wonder if the 10 pints of lager the night before were such a good idea after all!

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179. At 2:00pm on 28 Aug 2008, youngWillz wrote:
"Are you lookin' at me? Are you..?"

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180. At 2:01pm on 28 Aug 2008, Northern_Simon wrote:
Paddington had been deeply affected by “Gorillas in the mist”.

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181. At 2:01pm on 28 Aug 2008, youngWillz wrote:
Paddington states quite categorically he did not ask for Marmoset sandwiches.

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182. At 2:02pm on 28 Aug 2008, greyAlitom wrote:
Can we be the mascots for the 2012 London Olympics?

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183. At 2:02pm on 28 Aug 2008, penny-farthing wrote:
Anxiety rose on news of the bear market.

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184. At 2:04pm on 28 Aug 2008, OurSwipe wrote:
Hedgehogs Getting it Wrong Too Sometimes - I Saw One Yesterday Climbing Off A Hair Brush.

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185. At 2:04pm on 28 Aug 2008, Magnum Carter wrote:
Paddington's new sidekick was proving to be less than courageous

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186. At 2:05pm on 28 Aug 2008, cranston65 wrote:
suicide teddy strikes at Chessington Zoo.

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187. At 2:05pm on 28 Aug 2008, Fi-Glos wrote:
Ape-ish behaviour

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188. At 2:06pm on 28 Aug 2008, marktranter wrote:
And Ronnie Wood presents his new son to the world......

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189. At 2:08pm on 28 Aug 2008, tupoar wrote:
You too can find love at Match.com.....

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190. At 2:08pm on 28 Aug 2008, Fi-Glos wrote:
Ted's new role becomes ape-parent

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191. At 2:08pm on 28 Aug 2008, Magnum Carter wrote:
through some very quick thinking, Marcel was granted VIP access to the Ark

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192. At 2:09pm on 28 Aug 2008, teazeldad wrote:
X factor contestant resorts to ever-desperate measures to bring a tear to the public's eye

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193. At 2:12pm on 28 Aug 2008, expertJeff wrote:
Bubbles still had to sleep with a teddy bear because of the nightmares thet still plagued him from living with Jacko...

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194. At 2:12pm on 28 Aug 2008, penny-farthing wrote:
The Metropolitan Police release the picture of the two suspects wanted in connection with the recent stuffed toy massacre and fruit stall robbery spree.

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195. At 2:13pm on 28 Aug 2008, polarbearnoodles wrote:
Bear with me...

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196. At 2:13pm on 28 Aug 2008, rietveld wrote:
Teddy-bear picnic ruined by overly affectionate arborealists

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197. At 2:13pm on 28 Aug 2008, tupoar wrote:
or

Conchita shows us why she is double Olympic Pick-Pocket champion...

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198. At 2:13pm on 28 Aug 2008, Magnum Carter wrote:
Producers blasted for using man flu as basis for Outbreak 2.

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199. At 2:14pm on 28 Aug 2008, siobhannywoo wrote:
Noo! Don't make me sign in to leave a comment. I hates that.

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200. At 2:14pm on 28 Aug 2008, Tiemti wrote:
Bad hair day mum - but you're worth it

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201. At 2:15pm on 28 Aug 2008, Fi-Glos wrote:
Gibbon a second chance

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202. At 2:17pm on 28 Aug 2008, Sunmack wrote:
This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the House Rules.
203. At 2:19pm on 28 Aug 2008, OurSwipe wrote:
The Cockney Auction World Is Shocked As Antique Teddy Bear Only Sells For A Monkey !

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204. At 2:22pm on 28 Aug 2008, Nzie wrote:
The zoo knew the teddy bear foster mother was a necessity upon seeing Conchita's reaction to a sudden banana shortage.

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205. At 2:23pm on 28 Aug 2008, bennym22 wrote:
Christopher Nolan takes a break from Batman to pitch his dark re-imagining of Superted Begins.

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206. At 2:24pm on 28 Aug 2008, OurSwipe wrote:
The Whole Zoo Celebrates Conchita's Success On The Generation Game Conveyor Belt !

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207. At 2:26pm on 28 Aug 2008, babylynny1 wrote:
So you must be speak no

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208. At 2:29pm on 28 Aug 2008, Rob Falconer wrote:
And the Tax Credits people are chasing Teddy for £2,5000 they say she owes them

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209. At 2:33pm on 28 Aug 2008, Rob Falconer wrote:
Conchita hugs what's left of her keeper after he fell into their enclosure

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210. At 2:35pm on 28 Aug 2008, Rob Falconer wrote:
Darling, isn't it about time we bought Christopher Robin a shaver?

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211. At 2:40pm on 28 Aug 2008, not-bad-paul wrote:
"Look Teddy, they're experimenting on us tomorrow. If we don't escape today we're stuffed."

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212. At 2:55pm on 28 Aug 2008, Feeder13 wrote:
Conchita reacts to the news that Madonna is now looking to adopt a baby monkey.

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213. At 2:58pm on 28 Aug 2008, John_Sevenoaks wrote:
'It's alright, Teddy, I know you didn't kill mummy. But just let me adjust this rope around your neck.'

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214. At 2:59pm on 28 Aug 2008, howgetter wrote:
Monkey Rights Outrage As Nadal Attaches Second Mascot.

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215. At 2:59pm on 28 Aug 2008, YogiBB wrote:
You're a Bear???

Then I'm a monkey's Uncle!!

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216. At 3:00pm on 28 Aug 2008, nadine7346 wrote:
No, it's a kangaroo and a sheep you need

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217. At 3:02pm on 28 Aug 2008, jennywrennyroodle wrote:
Conchita had a blast at the carnival and refused to let go of her shiny new ted..

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218. At 3:07pm on 28 Aug 2008, cheroyce wrote:
Bungle gets more than he bargained for in the new live-action movie "Rainbow Meets the Space Chimps".

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219. At 3:12pm on 28 Aug 2008, tiptopFryboy wrote:
If we're going to win Strictly Come Dancing we need to try harder!

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220. At 3:12pm on 28 Aug 2008, English Yo-Yo wrote:
"Does my bum look big in this"?

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221. At 3:13pm on 28 Aug 2008, commanderfruitloop wrote:
I have Sir Allan Sugars bear and now for stage two of my fiendish plan!

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222. At 3:15pm on 28 Aug 2008, joedkins wrote:
Are you my Mummy?

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223. At 3:15pm on 28 Aug 2008, grazvalentine wrote:
Press my stomach again and I'll do more than squeak!

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224. At 3:17pm on 28 Aug 2008, iwishidthoughtofthat wrote:
The bear accessories of life...

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225. At 3:19pm on 28 Aug 2008, Candace9839 wrote:
Bananarama unveil new album cover

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226. At 3:19pm on 28 Aug 2008, penny-farthing wrote:
And finally,their reign of terror over,the despicable duo were cornered.

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227. At 3:21pm on 28 Aug 2008, Kipson wrote:
But Conchita, where did you put my nuts?

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228. At 3:23pm on 28 Aug 2008, Kipson wrote:
Good disguise Elvis.
Not so bad yourself Osama.

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229. At 3:24pm on 28 Aug 2008, archstinker wrote:

Michael Jackson donned Bizarre disguise on Zoo visit with Bubbles

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230. At 3:25pm on 28 Aug 2008, penny-farthing wrote:
Pooh was too pooped to pry the primate off his person.

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231. At 3:25pm on 28 Aug 2008, Candace9839 wrote:
How do you groom a proboscis like Conchita?

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232. At 3:26pm on 28 Aug 2008, miserydom wrote:
that bloke over their just shot my mum!

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233. At 3:35pm on 28 Aug 2008, Candace9839 wrote:
Theirs was a love born of monkey business and bear faced cheek

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234. At 3:39pm on 28 Aug 2008, John_Sevenoaks wrote:
Having managed to tunnel out of his cage, Teddy's joy was shortlived.

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235. At 3:45pm on 28 Aug 2008, jonnydollar wrote:
I'm really not looking forward to the day I have to tell him he's adopted.

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236. At 3:46pm on 28 Aug 2008, ian-goddard wrote:
Conchita was happy that NICE had agreed to make Lucentis available on the NHS, but she was still waiting for the drugs to kick in!

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237. At 3:46pm on 28 Aug 2008, Woundedpride wrote:
Don't worry, Mum. No way is that keeper using you as a footwarmer again today!

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238. At 3:49pm on 28 Aug 2008, CamberwellBeauty wrote:
Proof positive that cloning had not been perfected

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239. At 3:49pm on 28 Aug 2008, vbomber wrote:
Don't worry mom, it's just a bad hair day.

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240. At 3:49pm on 28 Aug 2008, ramavarma wrote:
Help! The Georgians are coming!

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241. At 3:50pm on 28 Aug 2008, Aquila (At it again eh Ed?) wrote:
Mr President, we feel that the picture of you 'strangling' a Russian bear may be as ill advised as the "Mission Accomplished" photograph and send the wrong message to Moscow.

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242. At 3:52pm on 28 Aug 2008, honesthulley wrote:
"Teddy, I think Trinny and Susannah have made a monkey out of me."

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243. At 3:52pm on 28 Aug 2008, Aquila (At it again eh Ed?) wrote:
The Creationists' attempts to discredit the fact of evolution seemd to be getting even more desparate.

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244. At 3:53pm on 28 Aug 2008, Dayo-Ogunmuyiwa wrote:
....He should have gone to "Specsavers"!

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245. At 3:54pm on 28 Aug 2008, togden wrote:
want to borrow my hair straighteners mum!

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246. At 3:56pm on 28 Aug 2008, tcooked wrote:
Quick pretend to kiss me, perhaps they'll look away.

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247. At 3:57pm on 28 Aug 2008, Aquila (At it again eh Ed?) wrote:
"Hello!" magazine uncovers another photograph of Max Moseley's strange and varied lovelife.

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248. At 3:57pm on 28 Aug 2008, nicecolbart wrote:
Oh look at that monkey with a bear behind mummy!.

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249. At 4:00pm on 28 Aug 2008, Trowbridge_guy wrote:
Hello big ears. Wow a talking teddy bear

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250. At 4:00pm on 28 Aug 2008, mjer1984 wrote:
save me.

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251. At 4:01pm on 28 Aug 2008, timbrero_deeko wrote:
I do hope that's a banana in your pocket!

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252. At 4:02pm on 28 Aug 2008, allydfc12 wrote:
Paddington always did have a soft spot for South American orphans...

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253. At 4:03pm on 28 Aug 2008, Dayo-Ogunmuyiwa wrote:
Ooops sorry mate, I thought you were my missus.....!

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254. At 4:03pm on 28 Aug 2008, penguin143 wrote:
Don't shoot! She's got a hostage!

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255. At 4:05pm on 28 Aug 2008, peterbrum wrote:
Monkey, just keep moving your mouth - I'll do the talking!

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256. At 4:06pm on 28 Aug 2008, dogstersuperstar wrote:
Me and Monkey live in the Zoo, i'm coprophobic and he's stood in poo

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257. At 4:06pm on 28 Aug 2008, Dinks007 wrote:
Honestly, it's not what it looks like...I can explain everything!

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258. At 4:08pm on 28 Aug 2008, allydfc12 wrote:
Straw on the line prevented Paddington's escape from his very excitable niece...

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259. At 4:09pm on 28 Aug 2008, Pizza wrote:
Cheeky Girls deny allegations they've let themselves go a bit.

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260. At 4:10pm on 28 Aug 2008, Stopthebadman wrote:
Stupid monkey.

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261. At 4:10pm on 28 Aug 2008, penguin143 wrote:
Picture taken at the premiere of "White Chicks 2"

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262. At 4:10pm on 28 Aug 2008, piquantflayer wrote:
Arty simian sculpts teddy out of Weetabix.

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263. At 4:11pm on 28 Aug 2008, jeconhot wrote:
Winnie the Pooh trades up piglet for moneky to play with and have fun on his adventures

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264. At 4:11pm on 28 Aug 2008, General_Rhubarb wrote:
You should see my dad!

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265. At 4:12pm on 28 Aug 2008, pinkfloydareace wrote:
Kerry Katona's new baby

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266. At 4:14pm on 28 Aug 2008, sooz1987 wrote:
From the look of his new teddy bear, Michael Jackson is missing Bubbles

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267. At 4:14pm on 28 Aug 2008, pinkfloydareace wrote:
Conchita's copied the idea from Jimmy Osmond on I'm A Celebrity by hiding spices to flavour boring bananas

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268. At 4:14pm on 28 Aug 2008, Ladylugs wrote:
I miss my Mum.

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269. At 4:14pm on 28 Aug 2008, Silky wrote:
Years of touring and pressure had taken its toll on Michael Jackson...

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270. At 4:14pm on 28 Aug 2008, pinkfloydareace wrote:
Please hug me back!

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271. At 4:16pm on 28 Aug 2008, matevs21 wrote:
It's only a Puppet!

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272. At 4:17pm on 28 Aug 2008, cockney-scarlet wrote:
Bear (thinking to self)

'Now, does this monkey look like Rob Brydon, or does Rob Brydon Look like this monkey…?'

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273. At 4:17pm on 28 Aug 2008, gundie wrote:
"I know I'm not your real mummy, monkey, but bear with me"

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274. At 4:17pm on 28 Aug 2008, skycrabs wrote:
Chimp says final farewell to brother after the electric fence is turned off.

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275. At 4:18pm on 28 Aug 2008, james-a-kay wrote:
"Please...Don't give me back to Mr Jackson...that is NO place for a monkey"

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276. At 4:19pm on 28 Aug 2008, cchange wrote:
...why do I always drink so much...I hope she's not pregnant...with that huge disproportional head...man...from tomorrow I stop drinking...at least she doesnt talk much...

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277. At 4:19pm on 28 Aug 2008, mitchatucas wrote:
"Have I got news for you" guests revealed

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278. At 4:19pm on 28 Aug 2008, ingeniouskitster wrote:
"In my personal space again"?
"What a bear faced chimp"!

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279. At 4:22pm on 28 Aug 2008, BIG_JAY666 wrote:
It's posh and Becks of the monkey world

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280. At 4:23pm on 28 Aug 2008, anrynoob wrote:
monkey jailed after harassing best friend bear and has found a replacement.

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281. At 4:23pm on 28 Aug 2008, Candace9839 wrote:
Cub primate crisis

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282. At 4:23pm on 28 Aug 2008, Ladylugs wrote:
I live here, in this laboratory. My Mum died.

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283. At 4:23pm on 28 Aug 2008, roversbasedjoy wrote:
Before and after: Do NOT feed the animals!

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284. At 4:24pm on 28 Aug 2008, smithcm wrote:
At this weeks democratic convention Bill Clinton finally backs Obama

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285. At 4:24pm on 28 Aug 2008, sixfootwalnut wrote:
This zoo's so rubbish! They want me to dress in this bear suit because they've got too many monkeys.

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286. At 4:25pm on 28 Aug 2008, Rob Falconer wrote:
Why does Disney have to muck about with the books they make into cartoons? There never was a monkey in Winnie-the-Pooh.

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287. At 4:25pm on 28 Aug 2008, sl4dude wrote:
Look at me... I'll make the caption compettition for sure this time!

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288. At 4:25pm on 28 Aug 2008, harj1234 wrote:
monkey says "leave my mum alone"

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289. At 4:25pm on 28 Aug 2008, RKateP wrote:
The Teddy Bears' picnic was gate-crashed by some rather over familiar, unwanted guests... Rupert was too polite to say anything.

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290. At 4:26pm on 28 Aug 2008, rosierororo wrote:
Clinton has finally backed Obama but Dubya stands firmly by his chosen candidate

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291. At 4:27pm on 28 Aug 2008, jontyms wrote:
Did I cough up THAT fur ball?

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292. At 4:29pm on 28 Aug 2008, wobbeegone wrote:
"Ah mai cherie, come wiz me to de casbah, we shall make the beautiful musicks togezzer. This little love bundle. Now she is seeking for us a trysting place. Touching, is it not? Come, my little peanut of brittle. I will help you. Wait for me. Wait."

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293. At 4:30pm on 28 Aug 2008, newSuperAnn wrote:
I don't car what you think, Daddy, we're getting married.

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294. At 4:32pm on 28 Aug 2008, DaveLinberry wrote:
He's my prime mate.

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295. At 4:34pm on 28 Aug 2008, karls97 wrote:
The parents of the ITV Digital monkey are finally reunited.

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296. At 4:35pm on 28 Aug 2008, Touring Mars wrote:
I don't know her name, but the man who comes to feed me said she was Polly Esther...

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297. At 4:35pm on 28 Aug 2008, ancusel wrote:
Mummy, that man is frightening me!

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298. At 4:35pm on 28 Aug 2008, pugwall1984 wrote:
Paddington Bear had resigned himself to the fact that monkeying about at the zoo was a poor second choice to 32 Windsor Gardens

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299. At 4:37pm on 28 Aug 2008, ElleUSA wrote:
Hilary makes nice to Barack at the DNC.

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300. At 4:38pm on 28 Aug 2008, dragonsp wrote:
Ma's not very demonstrative, but I love her anyway.

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301. At 4:38pm on 28 Aug 2008, doctorramsden wrote:
However will I bear carrying this monkey on my back?

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302. At 4:38pm on 28 Aug 2008, eddy1292 wrote:
Bush now come on you know that you are are going to leave the white house, but there is no need to act like a baby. Oh wait this is how you have been acting since you became president.

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303. At 4:38pm on 28 Aug 2008, Dave_Blackwell wrote:
Seems the Olympics has pushed people to take up more.

Conchita absolutely fell in love with the wrestling and has her sights set on 2012...

BRING ON THE M....onkey...

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304. At 4:39pm on 28 Aug 2008, tatty_y2k wrote:
Conchita was a little embarrassed when her hand slipped on to her mum's bear bottom during a quick cuddle!

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305. At 4:40pm on 28 Aug 2008, iwishidthoughtofthat wrote:
A had bear day?

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306. At 4:40pm on 28 Aug 2008, Woundedpride wrote:
In a desperate attempt to show a warmer, cuddlier side to the Tory party, David Cameron had made some unusual frontbench appointments...

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307. At 4:40pm on 28 Aug 2008, _minzy_ wrote:
A sight Bowlby would have loved to seen

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308. At 4:40pm on 28 Aug 2008, Mute Joe wrote:
It was times like this that Morley resented his charity work being overshadowed by cousin Pudsey.

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309. At 4:41pm on 28 Aug 2008, morwennahancock wrote:
are you my mummy?

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310. At 4:42pm on 28 Aug 2008, Shopaholic_nic wrote:
I can't Bear to ever let you go

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311. At 4:42pm on 28 Aug 2008, Woundedpride wrote:
She may be a bit quiet but at least my mum never gets cross with me!

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312. At 4:44pm on 28 Aug 2008, alanpartridgesson wrote:
Gary Linekers adopted monkey Conchita is sure she has discovered the new flavour Walkers are looking for.

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313. At 4:45pm on 28 Aug 2008, UKheretostay wrote:
Irish hail worlds first primate cloning a success.

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314. At 4:45pm on 28 Aug 2008, yellowrandall wrote:
Monkey Caught giving mum a right good stuffing!

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315. At 4:46pm on 28 Aug 2008, davidjmcarthur wrote:
If it worked for Mowgli....

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316. At 4:46pm on 28 Aug 2008, doogs182 wrote:
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh there's a bear in my oatmeal

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317. At 4:46pm on 28 Aug 2008, alanpartridgesson wrote:
The credit crunch has even forced our closest relatives to hold on to the bear necessities.

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318. At 4:47pm on 28 Aug 2008, paul6057 wrote:
All the way to London Zoo, and all I got was this grotty old teddy!

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319. At 4:47pm on 28 Aug 2008, krasij wrote:
Scientific proof that Primates invented the bear-hug

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320. At 4:47pm on 28 Aug 2008, neoAmoeba wrote:
If Mohammed will not come to the monkey, the monkey must go to Mohammed.

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321. At 4:47pm on 28 Aug 2008, PaulWinker wrote:
Lloyd Webber marries Chewbacca in secret ceremony.

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322. At 4:48pm on 28 Aug 2008, ClaireHaynes wrote:
George Bush introduces us to his new friend! Aaaahhh...

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323. At 4:48pm on 28 Aug 2008, Capain_Django wrote:
want a quote for your seven-month-old Mangabey monkey? try comparethemonkey.com!

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324. At 4:48pm on 28 Aug 2008, doogs182 wrote:
Arrrrrr theres a Boris hugging that Johnson

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325. At 4:50pm on 28 Aug 2008, doogs182 wrote:
Executions just got a little bit cuter!!

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326. At 4:50pm on 28 Aug 2008, psw30uk wrote:
She's small, furry and ever so cute...oh and there's a monkey with her too!

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327. At 4:52pm on 28 Aug 2008, SheffTim wrote:
Mummy, why are those people writing those nasty things about us, make them go away.

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328. At 4:53pm on 28 Aug 2008, ReservoirMog wrote:
Due to funding cutbacks, live foster mothers were replaced with toys. Conchita thought it was a bear-faced cheek.

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329. At 4:53pm on 28 Aug 2008, John_Sevenoaks wrote:
Each time Teddy thought about admitting the truth to Conchita, the electrodes attached to his nipples put him off.

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330. At 4:53pm on 28 Aug 2008, psw30uk wrote:
Conchita gets the bear necessities; or is she still monkeying around?

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331. At 4:53pm on 28 Aug 2008, yellowrandall wrote:
Mohammed the bear returns to ancestors

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332. At 4:54pm on 28 Aug 2008, PaulWinker wrote:
Sooty unmasked!

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333. At 4:56pm on 28 Aug 2008, fjsm33 wrote:
I just can't believe the bear faced cheek of that monkey....

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334. At 4:57pm on 28 Aug 2008, csicaz wrote:
After careful consideration it was decided the new Steiff monkey button was a little too large

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335. At 4:57pm on 28 Aug 2008, alanpartridgesson wrote:
Sporting his new hair-do Big Brother winner Mikey with his £100,000 prize money

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336. At 4:58pm on 28 Aug 2008, goldjacquidube wrote:
I dont care if he doesnt look like my Dad!

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337. At 5:01pm on 28 Aug 2008, r_scammell wrote:
The sailors found an unlikely accomplice to smuggle the unassuming (cocaine-filled) teddy bear on board.

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338. At 5:03pm on 28 Aug 2008, kitzi77 wrote:
Love is unconditional and does not judge us on colour, race, gender or religion. To love is just enough!

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339. At 5:03pm on 28 Aug 2008, iwishidthoughtofthat wrote:
Teddy? Who's he felt?

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340. At 5:03pm on 28 Aug 2008, Rockahula wrote:
It was some time before the keepers realised that the bear was infact made from velcro.

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341. At 5:08pm on 28 Aug 2008, aliotis wrote:
"I never dreamed we'd get to the last two in Big Brother"

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342. At 5:09pm on 28 Aug 2008, josami wrote:
Wayne and Coleen were enjoying a very romantic honemoon

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343. At 5:12pm on 28 Aug 2008, sennetor wrote:
I swear this isn't what it looks like! honey?

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344. At 5:14pm on 28 Aug 2008, petewilson63 wrote:
I dont want a cold war.

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345. At 5:15pm on 28 Aug 2008, weds_child wrote:
"I got her in African... She's a monkey"

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346. At 5:17pm on 28 Aug 2008, NormanAS wrote:

Simian Smith and Amazing Bear confirm high hopes for new series of Strictly Come Dancing

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347. At 5:18pm on 28 Aug 2008, NormanAS wrote:

Monkey's "3-2-1-Ted Rogers" joke begins to wear thin

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348. At 5:19pm on 28 Aug 2008, Rob Falconer wrote:
Yet another cock-up by the Child Support Agency!

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349. At 5:20pm on 28 Aug 2008, Rossinny wrote:
With everyone shouting "con" and "cheater" at her, the monkey started to think something might not be quite right...

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350. At 5:20pm on 28 Aug 2008, Adamanthea wrote:
No Words Needed

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351. At 5:22pm on 28 Aug 2008, NormanAS wrote:

Teddy also orphaned after monkey eats 'Nana

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352. At 5:24pm on 28 Aug 2008, Theodore-H-Biscuit wrote:
The lengths Gary Glitter will go to. Impressive disguise though.

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353. At 5:24pm on 28 Aug 2008, _Rushby_ wrote:
Is it safe yet?

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354. At 5:24pm on 28 Aug 2008, NormanAS wrote:

Hasn't that Johnny Vegas lost weight ?

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355. At 5:25pm on 28 Aug 2008, RtStepover wrote:
Hi my name is Teddy... And this is my soft toy Conchita the Monkey!

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356. At 5:28pm on 28 Aug 2008, RtStepover wrote:
A peanut stuffed Teddy! This soft toy is mine!

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357. At 5:28pm on 28 Aug 2008, HankMoody wrote:
I wonder if Mrs. Teddy got a say in this adoption.

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358. At 5:31pm on 28 Aug 2008, presto_west_end wrote:
Its children in need Pudsey, CHILDREN.

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359. At 5:32pm on 28 Aug 2008, itoodly wrote:
I know they look different but they promised not to hurt us.

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360. At 5:32pm on 28 Aug 2008, RtStepover wrote:
Mummy is cuddly and protective... But where's her milk?

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361. At 5:33pm on 28 Aug 2008, tom_w_webb wrote:
A warm welcome for Winnie the Pooh as he arrives in Gibraltar for his holidays.

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362. At 5:33pm on 28 Aug 2008, Candace9839 wrote:
With Silly Season falling by the wayside, Simian Season was well underway

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363. At 5:33pm on 28 Aug 2008, Zoechaos wrote:
Creature Comforts, you should see what the Gorilla got.

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364. At 5:33pm on 28 Aug 2008, TheLondster wrote:
Excuse me, can't a monkey have a private moment?

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365. At 5:34pm on 28 Aug 2008, KayJay1976 wrote:
If you go down to the woods today, you're sure of a big suprise....

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366. At 5:36pm on 28 Aug 2008, presto_west_end wrote:
"I love you Arr Kid"

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367. At 5:37pm on 28 Aug 2008, jack_the_lado wrote:
Come any closer and the bear gets it!

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368. At 5:43pm on 28 Aug 2008, Candace9839 wrote:
I am bearish and the monkey is a businessman. He tells me what I should invest in, and I tell him what I'll pay.

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369. At 5:44pm on 28 Aug 2008, presto_west_end wrote:
After a disappointing showing in Beijing, drastic measures were required for Team GB's 2012 young judo prospects.

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370. At 5:45pm on 28 Aug 2008, Angoos wrote:
My little furry bundle of joy? A monkey? Get stuffed! What you insinuating eh? Your all the same you news lot. I may not look much but I've got decency. I wouldn't touch a monkey if he had buttons and a bow on. Just you wait til Big Ted gets home.

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371. At 5:46pm on 28 Aug 2008, Candace9839 wrote:
Goldilocks turns out to be a bit of a disappointment

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372. At 6:02pm on 28 Aug 2008, stigmondo wrote:
No, you can't have my teddy, and anyway, my Mummy and Daddy, Aunts and Uncles, Brothers and Sisters, standing behind you, would like a word..

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373. At 6:11pm on 28 Aug 2008, ScouseBelle wrote:
Bungle, Zippy......... but where are George and Jeffrey?

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374. At 6:21pm on 28 Aug 2008, nhinton1 wrote:
Haunting scenes from Changing Rooms Revisited.

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375. At 6:23pm on 28 Aug 2008, clareeH wrote:
The truth of how Pudsey Bear lost his eye is finally revealed.

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376. At 6:27pm on 28 Aug 2008, clareeH wrote:
Paddington's stag-do didn't go as well as he'd hoped.

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377. At 6:35pm on 28 Aug 2008, Dazzissimo wrote:
I know, son, we've got family all over the place. It'd be really handy if you take GCSE French when you're older.

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378. At 6:40pm on 28 Aug 2008, Topbears wrote:
Mummy why are they staring? Because they think they are superior, but we know better.

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379. At 6:46pm on 28 Aug 2008, pinkfloydareace wrote:
What's happened to Mr Bean?

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380. At 6:46pm on 28 Aug 2008, stigmondo wrote:
The Government deny next years Sats examiners weren't up to the job..

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381. At 6:52pm on 28 Aug 2008, countfunkula wrote:
RONNIE CORBETT'S BEAR ATTACK HORROR

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382. At 6:55pm on 28 Aug 2008, sarahtrieste wrote:
She's got my smile, don't you think?

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383. At 6:56pm on 28 Aug 2008, MrD1987 wrote:
Tony and George are reunited thanks to the work of the WWF.

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384. At 6:56pm on 28 Aug 2008, pinkfloydareace wrote:
Will there be monkey nuts in the teddy bears' picnic?

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385. At 6:59pm on 28 Aug 2008, Dazzissimo wrote:
Never has the effect of beer goggles been so clearly demonstrated.

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386. At 7:02pm on 28 Aug 2008, rogueslr wrote:
Mrs Bear was still worried how she was going to explain this to Mr Bear.

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387. At 7:03pm on 28 Aug 2008, rogueslr wrote:
That's it! That's the last time we allow alcohol at the Teddy Bear's Picnic.

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388. At 7:04pm on 28 Aug 2008, Tapatia13 wrote:
I don´t want to feel lonely anymore...

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389. At 7:04pm on 28 Aug 2008, rogueslr wrote:
Despite protestations, the latest Orangina ad had produced serious knock-on effects in the animal kingdom.

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390. At 7:19pm on 28 Aug 2008, DavidDeeMoz wrote:
Charles Darwin woke up screaming - it was THAT dream, again.

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391. At 7:27pm on 28 Aug 2008, Diamond_Art wrote:
Conchita... I'm not quite sure how to tell you this... you're adopted.

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392. At 7:32pm on 28 Aug 2008, Diamond_Art wrote:
Yes! I'm on the BBC website and all I had to do was hug this teddy bear.

I've lost any monkey dignity I once had

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393. At 7:39pm on 28 Aug 2008, Carole_81 wrote:
I came all the way to london from peru and all i got was this lousy teddy bear

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394. At 7:39pm on 28 Aug 2008, sarahtrieste wrote:
We've got to stop meeting like this.

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395. At 7:42pm on 28 Aug 2008, sarahtrieste wrote:
Is this barred?

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396. At 7:58pm on 28 Aug 2008, gentlemanHywelG wrote:
Michael was comforted by `Bubbles` after his latest visit to see the plastic surgeon!

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397. At 7:59pm on 28 Aug 2008, ZorbaEisenhower wrote:
Wayne and Colleen's wedding photograph before being touched up.

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398. At 8:16pm on 28 Aug 2008, cornfieldgirly wrote:
"Don't worry, dear, they all look the same to me too".

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399. At 8:17pm on 28 Aug 2008, Rob Falconer wrote:
Ruddy Internet dating!

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400. At 8:31pm on 28 Aug 2008, HankMoody wrote:
I get the distinct impression Mrs. Teddy didn't have a say in this arrangement.

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401. At 8:37pm on 28 Aug 2008, Matt363 wrote:
Monkey: I can 'bear'-ly believe you're my mother.
Bear: You'll be shocked - Wayne Rooney's your brother.

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402. At 8:51pm on 28 Aug 2008, cossy26 wrote:
"Are you my monkey?"

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403. At 9:02pm on 28 Aug 2008, jimmyog wrote:
NHS provide proof that recent animal trials, on the new eye saving drug Lucentis, aren't all they're cracked up to be.

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404. At 9:09pm on 28 Aug 2008, stumpofn wrote:
Its not a Steiff, but what the heck!

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405. At 9:10pm on 28 Aug 2008, stumpofn wrote:
Its not a Steiff bear, but what do I care.

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406. At 9:19pm on 28 Aug 2008, marco_is_a_legend wrote:
breaking news

monkey prepares for post-mortom examination of bear

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407. At 9:23pm on 28 Aug 2008, marco_is_a_legend wrote:
"so jonny this is what we evolved from"
"so a million years ago we were cuddly bears"

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408. At 9:30pm on 28 Aug 2008, TheRealCatherineO wrote:
"This'll have them sratching their heads," laughed the joker of Pompeii.

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409. At 9:32pm on 28 Aug 2008, TheRealCatherineO wrote:
"This'll have them scratching their heads," laughed the joker of Pompeii.

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410. At 9:34pm on 28 Aug 2008, DeepAnna-lyzer wrote:
This 'bonding' experiment beats drug testing
at the lab any day.

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411. At 9:41pm on 28 Aug 2008, BluenoseBest wrote:
"And I know I shouldn't, but I had the window down as I drove through the safari park, and..."

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412. At 9:45pm on 28 Aug 2008, Candace9839 wrote:
Help! I've got a monkey on my bear

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413. At 9:51pm on 28 Aug 2008, Hobbitmorley wrote:
It's you and me against the world, kid. Game on....

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414. At 9:53pm on 28 Aug 2008, DKNYLFC wrote:
The Health and Safety executive today announced today they may need to ammend the "Not suitable for children under 36 months" on stuffed toys due to the emergence of an unexpected market for teddy bears.

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415. At 9:58pm on 28 Aug 2008, CroneySJ wrote:
Am I really that close to being the last of my kind? I need a hug.......

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416. At 10:01pm on 28 Aug 2008, saltdeansam wrote:
Please help me - the velcro bear wont let me go !

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417. At 10:02pm on 28 Aug 2008, Miss_Intrigue wrote:
I love you mum, but you aint half got a big head.

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418. At 10:05pm on 28 Aug 2008, bowenmark wrote:
"I will look after you now that Mr Bean has left you for the bank of England. I cant believe i lost the job to him"

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419. At 10:16pm on 28 Aug 2008, SimonRooke wrote:
The furred way.

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420. At 10:21pm on 28 Aug 2008, SimonRooke wrote:
Last thing I remember was my stag do, now I wake up and I'm superglued to this thing.

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421. At 10:24pm on 28 Aug 2008, SimonRooke wrote:
Alright Mum, enough fresh air, now can I get back to my Playstation?

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422. At 10:33pm on 28 Aug 2008, littleDickie wrote:
"I know I look like Rupert Murdoch. Too bloody right I do. I am...Rupert Murdoch!"

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423. At 10:36pm on 28 Aug 2008, littleDickie wrote:
"I'm Australian..err..American.
Well the name is Murdock, Rupert Murdoch.
Don't you see the resemblance of the ears?"

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424. At 10:42pm on 28 Aug 2008, presto_west_end wrote:
After the 35 times reigning champion retired, the toyland largest ears contest was thrown wide open.

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425. At 10:46pm on 28 Aug 2008, Candace9839 wrote:
A face only a monkey could love

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426. At 10:49pm on 28 Aug 2008, stigmondo wrote:
Early Titians didn't fetch quite as much..

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427. At 10:56pm on 28 Aug 2008, kikira wrote:
"If you could see her through my eyes..."

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428. At 11:06pm on 28 Aug 2008, BluenoseBest wrote:
You won't believe this mum, but there's a load of monkeys in the cage with us!

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429. At 11:40pm on 28 Aug 2008, SeanieSmith wrote:
"Ryanair flight FR2635 to London is now ready for boarding...".

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430. At 11:44pm on 28 Aug 2008, SeanieSmith wrote:
"How come we're always the last two to be picked for football?"

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431. At 11:44pm on 28 Aug 2008, SeanieSmith wrote:
"Oh yes, your father was a big TV star and a friend of Terry Wogan..."

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432. At 11:47pm on 28 Aug 2008, SeanieSmith wrote:
"Don't hug so hard dear...I'm a little steiff."

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433. At 11:50pm on 28 Aug 2008, SeanieSmith wrote:
Back soon on BBC...'Pets Win Prizes'.

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434. At 02:35am on 29 Aug 2008, littleDickie wrote:
"Ooh, SeanieSmith, Ooh-Ooh..."

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435. At 02:38am on 29 Aug 2008, CyberSerb wrote:
"I've heard that online dates turn into disappointments in real life, but this is too much, really!"

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436. At 02:39am on 29 Aug 2008, CyberSerb wrote:
"Frankly, sometimes you're just unbearable!"

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437. At 02:42am on 29 Aug 2008, CyberSerb wrote:
"Blimey, I thought the cuddly bear on your Facebook page was just a gimmick!"

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438. At 02:55am on 29 Aug 2008, CyberSerb wrote:
"Mummy, Mummy, tell me about my Daddy!"

"You know, Conchita, when a monkey and a teddy bear love each other, they kiss and hug in a very special way..."

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439. At 02:55am on 29 Aug 2008, cptsalazar wrote:
at the animal testing facility the primary results for the new hair growth serum where good, although not without side-effects.

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440. At 02:57am on 29 Aug 2008, CyberSerb wrote:
"Don't ask me anything! The way that party was going, you could have easily been an Alsatian!"

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441. At 02:59am on 29 Aug 2008, CyberSerb wrote:
"What you're all looking at? At least we're not human, duhh!"

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442. At 03:00am on 29 Aug 2008, CyberSerb wrote:
"You know, I hate to break it to you, but you're not human, either."

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443. At 03:59am on 29 Aug 2008, Tremorman wrote:
Pudsey bear minus the makeup

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444. At 04:00am on 29 Aug 2008, Tremorman wrote:
Paul Daniels taking his wig in for a freshen up

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445. At 04:12am on 29 Aug 2008, Tremorman wrote:
The wonders of anti aging cream

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446. At 04:30am on 29 Aug 2008, Tremorman wrote:
Well they were told not to put it on a hot wash

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447. At 05:36am on 29 Aug 2008, ankhtraveler wrote:
But I don't want to be the 2012 Olympic mascot.

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448. At 07:18am on 29 Aug 2008, DeeGee7 wrote:
We just can't bear to be apart

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449. At 07:54am on 29 Aug 2008, SeanieSmith wrote:
"You can laugh, giraffe - at least I don't have a lamp post for a dad."

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450. At 08:04am on 29 Aug 2008, Dawniedawn wrote:
Hugs and squeezes :o)

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451. At 08:16am on 29 Aug 2008, happyjammel wrote:
"World's ugliest baby born"

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452. At 08:17am on 29 Aug 2008, CairnTerrier wrote:
"You're not really my mummy, are you?"

"No, and I'm not a baker, either"

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453. At 08:21am on 29 Aug 2008, jimmyog wrote:
Monkey : What do you mean YOU'RE disappointed. They told ME that Madonna was looking to adopt a 'cheeky little monkey'.

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454. At 08:33am on 29 Aug 2008, GreatUncleBulgariaJr wrote:
Madame Tussaud's had to admit that their new waxworks of Andrew Lloyd-Webber and Jon Barrowman weren't quite up to their usual standard.

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455. At 08:48am on 29 Aug 2008, Kipson wrote:
Listen kid, I made it in show business with nothing but some funny clothes and a marmalade sandwich. You be nice to old Paddington and he'll show you how to hit the big time.

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456. At 08:53am on 29 Aug 2008, SeanieSmith wrote:
"Yes, dear, of course you can go outside and swing on the rope...just as soon as the Health and Safety assessment is approved."

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457. At 08:57am on 29 Aug 2008, iwishidthoughtofthat wrote:
But I asked for a donkey jacket...

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458. At 09:03am on 29 Aug 2008, sarahtrieste wrote:
A bear is for life.

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459. At 09:04am on 29 Aug 2008, sarahtrieste wrote:
A pet is for life.

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460. At 09:12am on 29 Aug 2008, meinzadram wrote:
that's my doubles partner sorted...monkey tennis anyone?

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461. At 09:15am on 29 Aug 2008, MJF_dodo wrote:
Two by-election candidates console each other after losing their deposits.

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462. At 09:16am on 29 Aug 2008, Marquee wrote:
Channel 4 are proud to announce that the intellectual level of the next series of Celebrity Big Brother will be higher than normal.

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463. At 09:17am on 29 Aug 2008, mwsrosso wrote:
Oh, oobee doo
I wanna be like you
I wanna walk like you
Talk like you, too
You'll see it's true
An ape like me
Can learn to be a Teddy too

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464. At 09:17am on 29 Aug 2008, MJF_dodo wrote:
Paddington shoots his first nude scene

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465. At 09:21am on 29 Aug 2008, christrueman wrote:
Goldilocks looked rough in the morning!

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466. At 09:22am on 29 Aug 2008, MJF_dodo wrote:
The line-up for the new series of 'Strictly Come Dancing' is revealed.

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467. At 09:27am on 29 Aug 2008, MJF_dodo wrote:
"You just can't get the Steiff nowadays."

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468. At 09:29am on 29 Aug 2008, cmh wrote:
It's the ol' Bubbles and Steiff!

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469. At 09:34am on 29 Aug 2008, The_Keeper wrote:
Little Ted in love child shame scandal.

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470. At 09:38am on 29 Aug 2008, fastmartynl wrote:
Roger was overjoyed at being reunited with Nookie again

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471. At 09:39am on 29 Aug 2008, gundie wrote:
These 'No more nails' commercials are getting beyond a joke!

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472. At 09:40am on 29 Aug 2008, OurSwipe wrote:
When Mrs Monkey Asked For A Teddy For Her Birthday, This Isn't What She Was Expecting !

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473. At 09:42am on 29 Aug 2008, fastmartynl wrote:
and how do you feel that Cost cutting in the Foster Parent Matching Department will affect standards??

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474. At 09:42am on 29 Aug 2008, OurSwipe wrote:
That's The Last Time I Order Anything From 'figleaves.com'

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475. At 09:43am on 29 Aug 2008, OurSwipe wrote:
You Too Could Save A Monkey With 'confused.com'

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476. At 09:43am on 29 Aug 2008, OurSwipe wrote:
So that's how Keith Harris got the name...

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477. At 09:45am on 29 Aug 2008, fastmartynl wrote:
good save Ted, says Rooney

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478. At 09:51am on 29 Aug 2008, MJF_dodo wrote:
"And remember.......... keep dancing."

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479. At 10:07am on 29 Aug 2008, fionapar wrote:
"Got milk?"

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480. At 10:07am on 29 Aug 2008, Mute Joe wrote:
"That's it monkey, keep hugging the bear!", thought the London Zoo press officer to herself.

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481. At 10:08am on 29 Aug 2008, fionapar wrote:
"Well I didn't look much like my Mummy either"

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482. At 10:12am on 29 Aug 2008, W_K_Snowdon wrote:
It was at that moment Sweep realised she had been replaced in Sooty's affections..

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483. At 10:12am on 29 Aug 2008, rogueslr wrote:
A recent survey shows that children born today are 20% more ugly than those born last century.

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484. At 10:12am on 29 Aug 2008, SideshowCecil wrote:
Son of Kong and Teddy of Fay Wray to star in Peter Jackson sequel

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485. At 10:14am on 29 Aug 2008, fionapar wrote:
"You don't look very happy to see me"

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486. At 10:14am on 29 Aug 2008, rogueslr wrote:
Mum, the other monkeys say you're just a stuffed toy, what do you say to that? Mum? Mum!

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487. At 10:14am on 29 Aug 2008, jellyba wrote:
cloning of endangered species hits snag

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488. At 10:15am on 29 Aug 2008, jellyba wrote:
nursery regrets ad bring your little monkey to Teddy Bears picnic

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489. At 10:16am on 29 Aug 2008, fionapar wrote:
"Conchita darling, I hope you too can run for president one day"

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490. At 10:18am on 29 Aug 2008, Tremorman wrote:
Are you a frayed mummy?

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491. At 10:20am on 29 Aug 2008, jellyba wrote:
Adoption rules relaxed further

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492. At 10:20am on 29 Aug 2008, Tremorman wrote:
The Hoffmeister Bear was obviously drunk again.

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493. At 10:21am on 29 Aug 2008, Skiron wrote:
New visitors to the Antique Roadshow indicate how famous the TV programme has become.

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494. At 10:26am on 29 Aug 2008, allhallowseve wrote:
Should have gone to Specsavers!

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495. At 10:28am on 29 Aug 2008, TubaMiriam wrote:
Cuddles bares all at Michael Jackson's 50th birthday party.

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496. At 10:40am on 29 Aug 2008, TubaMiriam wrote:
London Zoo's publicist was pleased, but next week's photo-shoot with the giraffes and the Barbie Doll was going to be altogether more challenging.

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497. At 10:40am on 29 Aug 2008, teazeldad wrote:
Boris Johnson admits where his jacket buttons really went to

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498. At 10:42am on 29 Aug 2008, Aliadmin wrote:
I love you, mummy !!

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499. At 10:42am on 29 Aug 2008, hedleybolton wrote:
Conchita learns Michael Jackson wants another pet monkey following the death of bubbles.

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500. At 10:45am on 29 Aug 2008, biogenetics wrote:
Oh No, Not the superglue on the cuddly toy trick again!!!

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