Some Friday Fun?

11:30 UK time, Friday, 25 July 2008

George Bush may not be the most effortless of orators, but he can come up with a pithy metaphor.

To wit, "Wall Street got drunk" to explain the ever-widening ripples of the credit crunch. At a private fundraiser last Friday, the president of the United States of America asked for any cameras to be switched off, and then proceeded to riff on his theme.

Of course it's much harder to be brief than it is to expound at length - anyone who ever filled in one of those cereal packet competitions ("In 15 words or under, complete this phrase...") will know this all too well.

Sounds like the kind of challenge Magazine readers might relish. So, please, 15-word explanations for world crises - using the wisdom of everyday life rather than textbook answers.

Global warming, for instance. It's coffee with too much milk - you can't take it out once it's in...

Cast your pearls of wisdom using the Comments form below. There's a special reward for the wisest, pithiest or most diverting - the chance to be featured on Radio 4's Broadcasting House this Sunday morning, which is by far the Magazine's favourite current affairs programme hosted by Paddy O'Connell.

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Comments

1. At 11:39am on 25 Jul 2008, DisgustedOfMitcham2 wrote:
The credit crunch:

I have two apples and lend you one. We now each have six apples.

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2. At 11:56am on 25 Jul 2008, Rob Falconer wrote:
World terrorism - warfare without uniforms

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3. At 11:57am on 25 Jul 2008, georgehh wrote:
The credit crunch:
When Goldilocks ate some porridge, she got a poorly tummy. Now none of the bears want to share each others porridge in case they get sick too.

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4. At 11:59am on 25 Jul 2008, georgehh wrote:
Global warming:
Passing wind under the duvet.

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5. At 12:06pm on 25 Jul 2008, JinjaCanary wrote:
Global Dimming: The lights are on, but nobody's home.

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6. At 12:13pm on 25 Jul 2008, abbotofmelrose wrote:
You lend out your car to Mrs. Careful and make money!..so you lend out your neighbours car to Ronnie Ram Rader and the business turns to custard!

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7. At 12:21pm on 25 Jul 2008, oglidewell wrote:
Investor's braces may be bright, but lending to those who've no hope of paying isn't.

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8. At 12:29pm on 25 Jul 2008, The_Bob_Glasgow wrote:
The Credit Crunch:

Wall Street was climbing a ladder. They ran out of rungs, but they kept climbing. Now they are plummeting...

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9. At 12:31pm on 25 Jul 2008, LondonboyNikeyg wrote:
The Labour Government - 'Stupid is as Stupid does'

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10. At 12:35pm on 25 Jul 2008, nooooddy wrote:
This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the House Rules.
11. At 12:41pm on 25 Jul 2008, SimonRooke wrote:
Obesity is like a man slipping on a banana skin, initially funny but ultimately painful.

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12. At 12:43pm on 25 Jul 2008, The_Bob_Glasgow wrote:
Being audited: Like having a well-dressed man reaching down your throat and asking you why you are missing a kidney.

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13. At 12:48pm on 25 Jul 2008, Laurie_M wrote:
The above comments:
A place for the mathematically challenged; counting to 15 isn't that difficult.

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14. At 12:49pm on 25 Jul 2008, poppyEmski wrote:
Saw an email at work explaining Economics using cows. Funny, but more than 15 words.

(the sentence this one was EXACTLY 15 words long-and so it this one)

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15. At 12:50pm on 25 Jul 2008, davephillimore wrote:
Political Statement - Truth but not as we know it!

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16. At 12:52pm on 25 Jul 2008, SeatonCanoe wrote:
This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the House Rules.
17. At 12:53pm on 25 Jul 2008, Candace9839 wrote:
Global warming - it's about flatulent cows really, so try to eat more chicken and veg

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18. At 12:58pm on 25 Jul 2008, eddy_mary wrote:
Renewable energy is like sex - plenty of it about but always just out of reach.

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19. At 1:00pm on 25 Jul 2008, Candace9839 wrote:
Health care costs-

Eat an apple a day, play hard and stay away from people with bad colds

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20. At 1:05pm on 25 Jul 2008, stigmondo wrote:
World poverty: Realising you are a millionaire in Zimbabwe

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21. At 1:05pm on 25 Jul 2008, MrAngrier wrote:
The Iraq War:

You sell somebody some tools, say "hey you've got my tools!", and beat them up.

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22. At 1:07pm on 25 Jul 2008, SeatonCanoe wrote:
This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the House Rules.
23. At 1:08pm on 25 Jul 2008, trigg_27 wrote:
Global warming is caused by flatulent cows, therefore we need to eat more burgers.

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24. At 1:09pm on 25 Jul 2008, stigmondo wrote:
Credit Crunch: Imagine losing a £5 note, then finding a 50p piece, only to realise its fake.

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25. At 1:09pm on 25 Jul 2008, trigg_27 wrote:
We're born, we die. The bit in between is called life.

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26. At 1:10pm on 25 Jul 2008, trigg_27 wrote:
There are 10 types of people in the world. Those that understand binary....

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27. At 1:11pm on 25 Jul 2008, Laurie_M wrote:
Scientists claim majority die from natural causes - Government encourages population to take more risks.

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28. At 1:12pm on 25 Jul 2008, sizeofanocean wrote:
Global Warming:

The Earth is like a broken fridgefreezer, shove a towel under it.

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29. At 1:14pm on 25 Jul 2008, essexbeancounter wrote:
new cultures, exciting scenery, no stress, lovely weather, no mobiles saying @I'm on a ship' ................oh! world crises. I thought you said cruises

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30. At 1:15pm on 25 Jul 2008, Absadaisy wrote:
Economic Outlook is as appealing as a gorilla in a bikini..

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31. At 1:28pm on 25 Jul 2008, The_Bob_Glasgow wrote:
On my previous comments:

I think I'm funny, I think I'm clever; I'm not funny, and I can't count.

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32. At 1:34pm on 25 Jul 2008, Rob Falconer wrote:
The Credit Crunch - financially like cornflakes without milk

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33. At 1:35pm on 25 Jul 2008, eddy_mary wrote:
Oil: Oil is like wine - drink too much of it and you quickly wish you hadn't.

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34. At 1:37pm on 25 Jul 2008, stigmondo wrote:
Credit Crunch: Like the parable of the Loaves and Fishes. But without any fish, or bread..

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35. At 1:38pm on 25 Jul 2008, realityleak wrote:
101 greatest reasons to vote Labour

- Next week: How to nail Jelly to the ceiling

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36. At 1:39pm on 25 Jul 2008, Candace9839 wrote:
Rising petrol and food prices -

When filling up costs as much as a good bottle of Scotch used to

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37. At 1:40pm on 25 Jul 2008, louis19 wrote:
The Conservative Party - Spend more time failing on the right wing then David Beckham in America

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38. At 1:40pm on 25 Jul 2008, stigmondo wrote:
Global Warming: You're the one doing the binge drinking; their the ones who will get the hangover..

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39. At 1:41pm on 25 Jul 2008, stigmondo wrote:
Oops, try again:

Global Warming: You're the one doing the binge drinking; they're the ones who will get the hangover..

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40. At 1:41pm on 25 Jul 2008, realityleak wrote:
Tony Blair struggled for 10 years to save this country - but Brown got in eventually!

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41. At 1:44pm on 25 Jul 2008, The_Bob_Glasgow wrote:
Iran's/North Korea's nuclear ambition:

We have a big stick, but won't let them have one. They might hit us!

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42. At 1:44pm on 25 Jul 2008, stigmondo wrote:
Middle East Peace Talks: Trying to organise meaningful, honest and conciliatory dialogue between the parties is like herding cats.

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43. At 1:47pm on 25 Jul 2008, The_Bob_Glasgow wrote:
Religious differences:

God's way of saying that we don't know anything, and he's not going to tell...

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44. At 1:49pm on 25 Jul 2008, lillipinkerton wrote:
George W Bush

Proof that Political Patronage is the eighth deadly sin

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45. At 1:49pm on 25 Jul 2008, louis19 wrote:
New Labour and Tories:
Six of one and half a dozen of the other

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46. At 1:51pm on 25 Jul 2008, lillipinkerton wrote:
New Conservative Policy

From "Get on your bike" to "Get off my bike"

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47. At 1:53pm on 25 Jul 2008, VictorAngryMan wrote:
The Credit Crunch:

Labour gave us all the right numbers, but not necessarily in the right order!

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48. At 1:54pm on 25 Jul 2008, IAmDobba wrote:
The Olympics

Oh oh oh oh oh

That's not your speech Mr President That's the Olympic rings.

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49. At 1:56pm on 25 Jul 2008, Rob Falconer wrote:
America got drunk ... now it's got a hangover

On voting for Goerge W. Bush

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50. At 2:00pm on 25 Jul 2008, VictorAngryMan wrote:
RECIPE FOR RUINING ENGLAND:

Take 1 Scottish Prime Minister, 1 Scottish Chancellor, etc etc etc

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51. At 2:14pm on 25 Jul 2008, OldFHill wrote:
Global inequality and food shortages

Me me me it’s all about me. I want that, give it two me now.

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52. At 2:16pm on 25 Jul 2008, cheaphooker wrote:
Capitalism:

Eventually there will be one shop that sells everything. But the service will be terrible.

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53. At 2:17pm on 25 Jul 2008, SimonRooke wrote:
Global warming is like having a barbeque but burning your house down getting it started.

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54. At 2:37pm on 25 Jul 2008, TimothyWimothy wrote:
Global Warming:

Like wetting your pants: initially feels pleasant, but ultimately not good

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55. At 2:39pm on 25 Jul 2008, VictorAngryMan wrote:
THE WELFARE STATE:

Why just struggle to pay your own bills when you can pay somebody else's too?!

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56. At 2:40pm on 25 Jul 2008, falovalova wrote:
Lowering greenhouse gasses is like a fart in a lift, theres alot of blame but nobody wants to take responsibility

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57. At 2:44pm on 25 Jul 2008, English Yo-Yo wrote:
CREDIT CRUNCH:

Like lending your wife to a friend, now you won't even lend him your ladder.

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58. At 2:50pm on 25 Jul 2008, ThisbeDog wrote:
The government encouraging us to save more:

Like Dracula telling you to eat more spinach

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59. At 2:55pm on 25 Jul 2008, Electric Dragon wrote:
"Wall Street got drunk. It got drunk and now it's got a hangover."

And the US Government was the irresponsible off-licence selling cheap vodka to the drunk.

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60. At 3:00pm on 25 Jul 2008, falovalova wrote:
Voting in Zimbabwe is like poking an octopus, your only reward is an inky finger

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61. At 3:14pm on 25 Jul 2008, BialyCzerwony wrote:
WMD - Weapons of Mass Destruction or Words of Media Delusive ??

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62. At 3:15pm on 25 Jul 2008, Jordan D wrote:
Games without frontiers, credit without tears.

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63. At 3:21pm on 25 Jul 2008, nigelmccc wrote:
Credit crunch: blindfolded game of musical chairs, played in a minefield, with a cracked record.

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64. At 3:26pm on 25 Jul 2008, Far-Seer wrote:
President Mugabe

We know he's evil, but he doesn't have oil!

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65. At 3:28pm on 25 Jul 2008, virtualsam__ wrote:
"Renewable energy is like sex - plenty of it about but always just out of reach."

and the middle east don't like it

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66. At 3:37pm on 25 Jul 2008, MJR wrote:
Global warming:

We let the air get dirty, we are all aerosoles, we better stop using them.

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67. At 3:41pm on 25 Jul 2008, endebe wrote:
Credit Crunch: Is when the banks realise they are lending each other money they don't have!

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68. At 3:45pm on 25 Jul 2008, The Duke of Snowdon wrote:
I lied about WMDs? Tell that to the Iranian army or the Kurds!

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69. At 4:07pm on 25 Jul 2008, cavoab wrote:
BBC message boards:

Supplying megaphones to Beckham and Rooney and encouraging them to argue about Wittgenstein.

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70. At 4:13pm on 25 Jul 2008, neilruston wrote:
Credit crunch - I have two apples and lend you three ...!

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71. At 4:18pm on 25 Jul 2008, Pot_Kettle wrote:
The Credit Crunch

Gordon drove his dragster at Santa Pod Someone built a wall at the end

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72. At 4:19pm on 25 Jul 2008, stigmondo wrote:
Credit Crunch – The cause: I have no apples, but I lease you four (now rotten) ones, borrowed from you.

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73. At 4:31pm on 25 Jul 2008, stigmondo wrote:
Life as a Pessimist: Is like a box of chocolates – you always damn well know which one you'll get..

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74. At 4:34pm on 25 Jul 2008, Pot_Kettle wrote:
No more Tory Boom and Bust

Brown sat Canute like, convinced his will could stop the moons gravitaional forces

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75. At 4:37pm on 25 Jul 2008, Pot_Kettle wrote:
No deals on 42 days

UPS changed colours so Gordon wouldnt be caught handing over a brown bag of cash

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76. At 4:38pm on 25 Jul 2008, aka_bluepeter wrote:
The credit crunch is a computer virus for which the only known cure is Therapy with children expert in reality, common sense and basic mathematics

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77. At 4:38pm on 25 Jul 2008, Pot_Kettle wrote:
Referendum on EU Treaty

Singing: I beg your pardon I never promised you a rose garden

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78. At 4:40pm on 25 Jul 2008, kittybrough wrote:
two incomes with a surplus = economic glee
same two incomes can't keep home = credit crunch

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79. At 4:44pm on 25 Jul 2008, Pot_Kettle wrote:
Defeat in Glasgow east

Too many people voted for the other Curran lady, Should have gone to Specsavers

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80. At 4:51pm on 25 Jul 2008, Jordan D wrote:
On Mugabe

We liked him once, but then he turned bad - now for his other friends to realise

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81. At 4:57pm on 25 Jul 2008, abbotofmelrose wrote:
On what went wrong in Iraq:
'(the invasion of) Iraq is a long term success!'

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82. At 5:01pm on 25 Jul 2008, abbotofmelrose wrote:
Socialism:
There is one shop that sells everything and the service is terrible!

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83. At 5:04pm on 25 Jul 2008, abbotofmelrose wrote:
On gun crime:
Every country should give everyone a gun and we will teach them how to control gun crime.

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84. At 5:09pm on 25 Jul 2008, John_Sevenoaks wrote:
Earthquakes are inevitable. If you bash two big plates together, something's gonna get broke.

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85. At 5:32pm on 25 Jul 2008, benellins wrote:
I am a doughnut

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86. At 5:45pm on 25 Jul 2008, John_Sevenoaks wrote:
Africa is difficult. The Africans want it back, but not all of them can.

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87. At 5:47pm on 25 Jul 2008, John_Sevenoaks wrote:
China is booming. That's bad in the long run. And it's getting worse.

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88. At 5:48pm on 25 Jul 2008, John_Sevenoaks wrote:
Inflation can be rampant, hyper, or runaway. Then it all get's too much - and stops.

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89. At 6:18pm on 25 Jul 2008, stigmondo wrote:
Global Warming: A butterfly flaps its wings in China, you feel cold and turn the heating up..

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90. At 6:24pm on 25 Jul 2008, shouldersmagru wrote:
The Credit Crunch:

"I know, we'll use this ball to get the other balls out of the tree."

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91. At 7:11pm on 25 Jul 2008, georgehh wrote:
Tensions in the Anglican Church: you're damned if you do; you're damned if you don't.

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92. At 7:11pm on 25 Jul 2008, georgehh wrote:
Economic crises: If we tel you there's going to be a recession, it will happen.

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93. At 7:35pm on 25 Jul 2008, Rob Falconer wrote:
World Finance :

What you lose on the swings, you lose on the roundabouts

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94. At 7:51pm on 25 Jul 2008, Rob Falconer wrote:
Global warming : OK, the sky may be getting warmer, but is that why it seems to be continuously melting over us?

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95. At 7:52pm on 25 Jul 2008, Rob Falconer wrote:
Knife crime :-

Maybe the Government should appoint a really forceful and charismatic "Knife Czar" to have a stab at the problem

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96. At 8:50pm on 25 Jul 2008, penny-farthing wrote:
Overpopulation: like when you want one item but are forced to buy a package of ten.

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97. At 10:20pm on 25 Jul 2008, akajameswood wrote:
Gay Anglicans -

Booing the Lambeth Talk

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98. At 10:34pm on 25 Jul 2008, penny-farthing wrote:
Zimbabwe/Mugabe: Like stepping in dog poo, you know its a stinking mess.

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99. At 10:49pm on 25 Jul 2008, ChristianLShea wrote:
(With apologies to Jay Leno's writers)

The Iraq War: "Waking up in bed next to a hot woman whose Adam's apple you finally see."

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100. At 11:10pm on 25 Jul 2008, C1_Backload wrote:
The recession is like over ripe fruit: yucky but it can be sweet in places.

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101. At 11:41pm on 25 Jul 2008, Candace9839 wrote:
When you're up to your eyeballs in alligators, it's hard to find the drain plug.

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102. At 00:05am on 26 Jul 2008, Candace9839 wrote:
World food prices -

Grill hood's closed with the propane on, now hand me the matches

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103. At 00:23am on 26 Jul 2008, stigmondo wrote:
Credit Crunch: I'd lend you the money to buy that house, but apparently I already own it..

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104. At 00:30am on 26 Jul 2008, stigmondo wrote:
Global Warming and the Credit Crunch: I’d build another twenty six coal powered power stations, but I can’t raise the finance..

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105. At 01:25am on 26 Jul 2008, BadgersRetreat wrote:
George Bush: American voters got drunk. Again. Now its Wall Street. Go figure.

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106. At 02:24am on 26 Jul 2008, Ciapryna wrote:
NHS Funding Chrisis - Why cant I ever get a free lunch?

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107. At 02:29am on 26 Jul 2008, Ciapryna wrote:
Moscow’s Relationship with the West - like your relationship with your evil step mother, both inextricably linked, both loathe each other!

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108. At 08:30am on 26 Jul 2008, John_Sevenoaks wrote:
Britain's growth was fuelled by property, but we don't produce enough to afford it.

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109. At 08:31am on 26 Jul 2008, John_Sevenoaks wrote:
We are in a vicious cycle - of our own making. There's no way around it.

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110. At 08:32am on 26 Jul 2008, John_Sevenoaks wrote:
The credit crunch happened because we put our faith in monetarism. And there's not enough.

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111. At 08:37am on 26 Jul 2008, John_Sevenoaks wrote:
The line between rich and poor is a two-way street; what goes around, comes around.

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112. At 2:02pm on 26 Jul 2008, littleDickie wrote:
In the Credit Crunch one needs to know the differences between Apples and Oranges!

Too many different pips lead to confusion.

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113. At 09:38am on 27 Jul 2008, essexbeancounter wrote:
The credit crunch

A financial game of musical chairs where the last chair has just been stoeln.

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114. At 10:30am on 28 Jul 2008, roidsy wrote:
Fuel prices:

Due to rising fuel prices I now only get 3 petrol stations to the gallon....

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115. At 09:36am on 29 Jul 2008, Johnstoun wrote:
Banks lend money carelessly, man in street has to cover loss. Bonuses all round? Natch.

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