Caption Competition

13:18 UK time, Friday, 13 June 2008

Winning entries in the now-returned Caption Competition.

The competition is now closed. Full rules can be seen here [PDF].

Here members of the Philippine Marines Drum and Bugle Corps perform during the celebration of the 110th anniversary of the Philippines independence at Manila's Rizal Park.

Thanks to all who entered. The prize of a small amount of kudos to the following:

6. TNSCapcom
As physical torture is now illegal, the CIA gets creative.

5. NoMoreFA
Philipino cavalry band still looking for horse thieves.

4. Dodie James
Early attempts at a hovercraft were largely unsuccessful.

3. Candace9839
Prince William's follow on to the helicopter landing had to be especially bold.

2. akaTomflash
With a marauding string section on the loose, the brass band had no choice but to retreat into the standard defensive formation.

1. robmoo
The Millennium Falcon's camouflage had worked a treat.

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1. At 12:03pm on 12 Jun 2008, SimonRooke wrote:
And you join us at Glyndebourne for Music in the Round.

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2. At 12:05pm on 12 Jun 2008, SimonRooke wrote:
All this, just for winning a Webby!

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3. At 12:06pm on 12 Jun 2008, Dodie_James wrote:
Blow when you see the whites of their eyes!

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4. At 12:08pm on 12 Jun 2008, John_Sevenoaks wrote:
"Wait 'til you see the white's on their thighs."

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5. At 12:08pm on 12 Jun 2008, SimonRooke wrote:
And if the Marines ever found out who'd nicked their chairs there would be hell to pay!

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6. At 12:10pm on 12 Jun 2008, John_Sevenoaks wrote:
A unseasonal chill forces the band to adopt the 'Penguin' formation.

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7. At 12:10pm on 12 Jun 2008, Candace9839 wrote:
Circle the brass, boys, and protect our tom toms!

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8. At 12:10pm on 12 Jun 2008, Dodie_James wrote:
And now over to the new musical extravaganza "Custer?s last stand!"

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9. At 12:12pm on 12 Jun 2008, Candace9839 wrote:
The few, the loud, the Marines...

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10. At 12:13pm on 12 Jun 2008, SimonRooke wrote:
Is that a horn in your pocket or are you just pleased to see me?

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11. At 12:13pm on 12 Jun 2008, Dodie_James wrote:
Roman, couldn't you just have an iPod like everyone else?

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12. At 12:15pm on 12 Jun 2008, John_Sevenoaks wrote:
The world microchip shortage produces a novel solution to 'Surround Sound'.

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13. At 12:17pm on 12 Jun 2008, Candace9839 wrote:
Next time we book a proper bandstand

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14. At 12:18pm on 12 Jun 2008, RobOutterson wrote:
As the soldiers prepared for battle, Richard Sharpe looked on in disbelief. "Great!That means the Grimethorpe Colliery Band has got all our rifles."

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15. At 12:19pm on 12 Jun 2008, John_Sevenoaks wrote:
You put your left leg in....

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16. At 12:19pm on 12 Jun 2008, Candace9839 wrote:
Louder, boys! I can still hear the bagpipes from the beer tent.

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17. At 12:21pm on 12 Jun 2008, SimonRooke wrote:
Do you play the trumpet voluntary? No I was conscripted like everyone else.

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18. At 12:22pm on 12 Jun 2008, Rob Falconer wrote:
Oh no, I think we've been infiltrated by the Germans

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19. At 12:23pm on 12 Jun 2008, John_Sevenoaks wrote:
"I'm sure I asked for a '99' cornet."

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20. At 12:24pm on 12 Jun 2008, JinjaCanary wrote:
This was the best evidence yet that excessive brass playing casuses ricketts.

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21. At 12:25pm on 12 Jun 2008, Rob Falconer wrote:
That's odd. I thought Wayne and Coleen would have had a disco.

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22. At 12:26pm on 12 Jun 2008, Candace9839 wrote:
The Satalongo wedding regretted having booked the band online

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23. At 12:27pm on 12 Jun 2008, Rob Falconer wrote:
When I asked for a fanfare, I meant I wanted you to pay for me to see the George Michael concert.

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24. At 12:27pm on 12 Jun 2008, Kipson wrote:
If General Custer says this is going to work, it's good enough for me.

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25. At 12:28pm on 12 Jun 2008, Dodie_James wrote:
Early attempts at a hovercraft were largely unsuccessful..

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26. At 12:29pm on 12 Jun 2008, SimonRooke wrote:
Are you sure this is what Wayne wanted for his stag do? Yeah, he said he wanted something big round and brassy.

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27. At 12:29pm on 12 Jun 2008, Tekaniet wrote:
As the captain gave the order to fire, #12 blow-gunner couldn?t help but feel blow-cannons might not have been such a good idea.

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28. At 12:29pm on 12 Jun 2008, Candace9839 wrote:
Ridley Scott's remake of Zulu proved bold and brassy

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29. At 12:30pm on 12 Jun 2008, Kipson wrote:
Government archives reveal the real secret of the defence of Rorkes Drift.

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30. At 12:30pm on 12 Jun 2008, JinjaCanary wrote:
the brass limbo squad ended up bemusing everyone

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31. At 12:30pm on 12 Jun 2008, Rob Falconer wrote:
No, I didn?t tell you all to kneel, I was just announcing that Mr. Kinnock was here

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32. At 12:30pm on 12 Jun 2008, Kipson wrote:
Squat attention!

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33. At 12:31pm on 12 Jun 2008, Rob Falconer wrote:
But I asked for band-players, not bandy players

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34. At 12:32pm on 12 Jun 2008, chrissles wrote:
The Eric Kemsley Trio demonstrate the world's first outdoor Hall of Mirrors

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35. At 12:34pm on 12 Jun 2008, Candace9839 wrote:
No one leaves until we find the bass drum

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36. At 12:38pm on 12 Jun 2008, Candace9839 wrote:
The band leader's signal to lower the tone was not having the desired effect

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37. At 12:41pm on 12 Jun 2008, robmoo wrote:
And if you all sit down onto each other's knees at the same time...

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38. At 12:41pm on 12 Jun 2008, Rob Falconer wrote:
Why Victoria Beckham can?t just have an ordinary car horn I do not know

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39. At 12:42pm on 12 Jun 2008, SimonRooke wrote:
And now we'd like to play one of John Philip Sousa's later pieces, The Old Men with Rickets March.

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40. At 12:42pm on 12 Jun 2008, robmoo wrote:
The Millenium Falcon's camouflage had worked a treat

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41. At 12:43pm on 12 Jun 2008, conradder wrote:
I always found pea shooters juvenile.

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42. At 12:43pm on 12 Jun 2008, lestmak wrote:
In an effort to save money for President Bush's next visit, The Philippines orchestrates its security force, to be conducted by President Bush himself.

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43. At 12:43pm on 12 Jun 2008, sazperkins *muskateer* *CS*'Dawn' wrote:
The marines take on Chamber (pot) music?

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44. At 12:43pm on 12 Jun 2008, Rob Falconer wrote:
I know I asked you to play a bit lower, but are you trying to be funny?

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45. At 12:44pm on 12 Jun 2008, lestmak wrote:
Jericho creates new defence force

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46. At 12:44pm on 12 Jun 2008, Kipson wrote:
Custers last music stand.

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47. At 12:45pm on 12 Jun 2008, Rob Falconer wrote:
Playing the regimental march may have been a knee-jerk reaction

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48. At 12:45pm on 12 Jun 2008, John_Sevenoaks wrote:
"On your marks; get set; blow!"

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49. At 12:46pm on 12 Jun 2008, Rob Falconer wrote:
The band decided to propose to the Dagenham Girl Pipers en masse

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50. At 12:48pm on 12 Jun 2008, Kipson wrote:
Taliban are terified as America deploys it's latest weapon in Afghanistan.

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51. At 12:49pm on 12 Jun 2008, Kipson wrote:
No lads, when the conductor said you're a bit flat he meant....

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52. At 12:51pm on 12 Jun 2008, Dodie_James wrote:
Meteorologists noted the unusual effect that the mini-tornado had on the band..

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53. At 12:53pm on 12 Jun 2008, Rob Falconer wrote:
The band closes ranks after one member mishears a suggestion that they be orchestrated

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54. At 12:55pm on 12 Jun 2008, John_Sevenoaks wrote:
Big Tribute Bands - 'The 360 Degrees'.

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55. At 12:55pm on 12 Jun 2008, Dodie_James wrote:
I?m worried about Smithers, he want's to join band of the Grenadier Guards..

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56. At 12:55pm on 12 Jun 2008, Rob Falconer wrote:
The Guinness Book of Records verified the claim for the largest number of musical wedding proposals at the same time

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57. At 12:56pm on 12 Jun 2008, DylanRex wrote:
Much like their counterparts on the Titanic had many years before, the band continued to play in dire circumstances, as the quicksand dragged them under.

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58. At 12:57pm on 12 Jun 2008, John_Sevenoaks wrote:
Famous WWII re-enactments - 'The Battle of The Bugle'.

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59. At 12:58pm on 12 Jun 2008, JeniB01 wrote:
Finishing touches were being put to the Olympic Synchronised Swing Team.

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60. At 12:58pm on 12 Jun 2008, JeniB01 wrote:
Music ringing in the ears took on a new meaning.

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61. At 12:59pm on 12 Jun 2008, Candace9839 wrote:
And when the music stopped, they would discover MSgt Graham had just raised the bar in the musical chairs competition

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62. At 1:00pm on 12 Jun 2008, JeniB01 wrote:
Well, everyone knows what a daffodil trumpet looks like, so we thought we'd do a trumpet daffodil.

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63. At 1:00pm on 12 Jun 2008, JeniB01 wrote:
'Round the Horn.

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64. At 1:01pm on 12 Jun 2008, Candace9839 wrote:
Semper Pi

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65. At 1:02pm on 12 Jun 2008, sternpaddler wrote:
The Seven Bean and Cabbage Soup of the previous evening nicely masked the non-appearance of the euphonium players.

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66. At 1:03pm on 12 Jun 2008, John_Sevenoaks wrote:
The band could not think of a caption - but were unable to resist the offer of 'a small quantity of kazoos'.

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67. At 1:05pm on 12 Jun 2008, Rob Falconer wrote:
The Glenn Miller Band? No, this is Trumpton?s Windy Miller Band.

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68. At 1:06pm on 12 Jun 2008, ifangwilym wrote:
The Salvation Army always upped their game when on tour...

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69. At 1:06pm on 12 Jun 2008, blatonn wrote:
"Full Metal Jacket - the Musical" was somewhat camper than Kubrick's masterpiece.

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70. At 1:06pm on 12 Jun 2008, Kipson wrote:
After the Prawn Vindaloo last night Private Smethurst becomes a martyr to flatulence but his mates cover for him as best they can.

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71. At 1:07pm on 12 Jun 2008, Kipson wrote:
If we ever meet the guy who starched these trousers.....

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72. At 1:09pm on 12 Jun 2008, Rob Falconer wrote:
The band members were all ex-miners at a colliery with very low ceilings

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73. At 1:09pm on 12 Jun 2008, sternpaddler wrote:
The final test of the Holiday Diarrhoea Patch nears its completion'

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74. At 1:10pm on 12 Jun 2008, Rob Falconer wrote:
The military band had been trained to play even when there were bullets whizzing overhead

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75. At 1:11pm on 12 Jun 2008, Candace9839 wrote:
They love us everywhere we go. So when in doubt ...

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76. At 1:12pm on 12 Jun 2008, SimonRooke wrote:
The band were beginning to regret getting Busby Berkeley to do the choreography for their latest outing.

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77. At 1:17pm on 12 Jun 2008, thenumberten wrote:
"I'm not sure about these new rifles, Sarge"

"Just wait till they see the new tanks Corporal..."

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78. At 1:18pm on 12 Jun 2008, Rob Falconer wrote:
And remember your pants next time, George. We can?t always cover for you.

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79. At 1:23pm on 12 Jun 2008, redbyname wrote:
The 24-hour brass band marathon brought a new meaning to to "Heavy Metal"

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80. At 1:28pm on 12 Jun 2008, redbyname wrote:
The US team had come up with an interesting way to receive the All-Blacks' Haka.

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81. At 1:30pm on 12 Jun 2008, SimonRooke wrote:
The American Pie Re-enactment Society were pleased with the show as 'the players tried to take the field'.....

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82. At 1:31pm on 12 Jun 2008, Rob Falconer wrote:
Following the recent defeat at Crewe and Nantwich, Labour tries to hide its loudspeaker van.

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83. At 1:32pm on 12 Jun 2008, Kipson wrote:
The boys agreed that wind power would always be better than a tidal barrage.

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84. At 1:34pm on 12 Jun 2008, Kipson wrote:
The band was playing the duck section from Peter and the Wolf. Unfortunately they misunderstood the musical directions.

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85. At 1:34pm on 12 Jun 2008, John_Sevenoaks wrote:
There was a short intermission while the band waited for the arrival of the doors for their Portaloos.

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86. At 1:35pm on 12 Jun 2008, Kipson wrote:
Knees bent, arms stretched, Raa raa raa

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87. At 1:36pm on 12 Jun 2008, blatonn wrote:
'Grabbing the Brass Ring' re-imagined for the 21st century.

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88. At 1:43pm on 12 Jun 2008, ainvan wrote:
Their strange gait was due to the size and weight of their genetalia. After several 'self-help' groups, they decided to form a band.

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89. At 1:45pm on 12 Jun 2008, Rob Falconer wrote:
I?m afraid we don?t do ?sotto voce,? mate

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90. At 1:52pm on 12 Jun 2008, georgehh wrote:
Bloodied but unbowed, they rallied once again against the frenzied attacks of the string quintet, and vowing, at all costs, to protect the euphoniums.

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91. At 1:55pm on 12 Jun 2008, John_Sevenoaks wrote:
"Then, when I give the signal, we all jump out of the giant cake."

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92. At 1:56pm on 12 Jun 2008, smiley_al wrote:
The pacifist firing squad formed up for their mornings work....

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93. At 2:00pm on 12 Jun 2008, heydrew wrote:
The Marching Spartans fall back and form an impenetrable phalanx after suffering multiple casualties in this year's Battle of the Bands.

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94. At 2:00pm on 12 Jun 2008, Candace9839 wrote:
Reveille would never be the same after Rumsfeld left

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95. At 2:00pm on 12 Jun 2008, John_Sevenoaks wrote:
As the finale of 'The Full Monte' reaches its climax, the boys brace themselves for the inevitable stampede.

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96. At 2:03pm on 12 Jun 2008, georgehh wrote:
Corporal Smith was relieved the piece only called for trumpets and euphoniums, he couldn't stand the thought of one of them getting the horn.

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97. At 2:05pm on 12 Jun 2008, Blythy_vxR wrote:
You think if we make a big scene like this no one will notice our lack of drums?

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98. At 2:07pm on 12 Jun 2008, floss_brain wrote:
I said TUNA, not TUBA! now what are we to serve the guests?

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99. At 2:08pm on 12 Jun 2008, toasttopper wrote:
The Roy Castle tribute show was in full swing

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100. At 2:10pm on 12 Jun 2008, SearbyG wrote:
The Battle of the Little n' Big Horn

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101. At 2:10pm on 12 Jun 2008, PatFrog wrote:
Who Tooted?

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102. At 2:13pm on 12 Jun 2008, toasttopper wrote:
England football squad prepare for the opening match of Euro 2008

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103. At 2:16pm on 12 Jun 2008, Fi-Glos wrote:
It's a gathering of people blowing their own trumpet.
Ah! It must be the final of The Apprentice...

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104. At 2:17pm on 12 Jun 2008, Wild_Boar wrote:
Custer's last band

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105. At 2:17pm on 12 Jun 2008, PennyDrop wrote:
Operating the omni-directional foghorn was labour intensive.

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106. At 2:19pm on 12 Jun 2008, daisy27 wrote:
If we can't beat New Zealand at rugby at least we can improve the 'haka' thought the Phillipino coach.

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107. At 2:20pm on 12 Jun 2008, PennyDrop wrote:
The band performed a range of requests, including ?Wuthering Heights?.

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108. At 2:20pm on 12 Jun 2008, Fi-Glos wrote:
Guy at the back playing the triangle:
Well, of course it did say on my CV that I had grade 8 at the trumpet...

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109. At 2:23pm on 12 Jun 2008, Harb83 wrote:
A group where nobody could be accused of blowing their own trumpets.

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110. At 2:25pm on 12 Jun 2008, archstinker wrote:

The Bruce Lee School of Music

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111. At 2:25pm on 12 Jun 2008, clownallergy wrote:
The musical chairs competition turned into a farce when the losers refused to leave the game

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112. At 2:32pm on 12 Jun 2008, TeaSpoonerism wrote:
Wayne was really beginning to try Coleen?s patience. ?What? Don?t you like the Wedding band I got you??

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113. At 2:34pm on 12 Jun 2008, Ravonski wrote:
The marines' sordid party was exposed as the tent was lifted by a sudden gust.

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114. At 2:34pm on 12 Jun 2008, John_Sevenoaks wrote:
"Home Secretary, does the new anti-terrorist law mean we have to hold them like this for 42 days without a charge?"

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115. At 2:35pm on 12 Jun 2008, HanksGarage wrote:
The crowd waited for the band's finale - Knees Up Mother Brown

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116. At 2:39pm on 12 Jun 2008, BialyCzerwony wrote:
Remind me again........we aren't we just called the Philippine Marines Bugle Corps?!?!

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117. At 2:43pm on 12 Jun 2008, smiley_al wrote:
It was evident to everyone present that the bandsmen in the middle had hit their mid life crises.

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118. At 2:44pm on 12 Jun 2008, greatnorth69 wrote:
Prior to their posting in Basra, the band practice a new musical genre - Iraq n Roll

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119. At 2:44pm on 12 Jun 2008, jettro_heller wrote:
The Philippine Mounted Band suddenly discovered that they had all forgotten the same important item.

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120. At 2:44pm on 12 Jun 2008, placey1 wrote:
The new Rolf Harris musical reached it's thrilling finale with the big band version of Jake the peg

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121. At 2:45pm on 12 Jun 2008, Candace9839 wrote:
Paper Monitor returns amid much fanfare

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122. At 2:45pm on 12 Jun 2008, Peter_out wrote:
Don't sit down, don't sit down, don't ...........

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123. At 2:46pm on 12 Jun 2008, justinic9 wrote:
No one was happy Willy Wonka denied the request for Oompa Loompa trumpeters.

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124. At 2:52pm on 12 Jun 2008, jettro_heller wrote:
Dave wasn't sure exactly what had been in last night's curry, but one thing was certain, they would all need new pants.

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125. At 2:52pm on 12 Jun 2008, John_Sevenoaks wrote:
The band had expected a big audience when the announcement came "All seats have been sold".

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126. At 2:55pm on 12 Jun 2008, TeaSpoonerism wrote:
Wayne was really beginning to try Coleen's patience. "What? Don't you like the wedding band I got you?"

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127. At 3:20pm on 12 Jun 2008, Wunnunda wrote:
Quick! Take cover!! It's an massive embrochure!!!

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128. At 3:20pm on 12 Jun 2008, Snaggers wrote:
Do you know "Silence is Golden"?

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129. At 3:33pm on 12 Jun 2008, Mr_Spi_Derman wrote:
"You know lads, I'm not so sure these new pea-shooters are gonna be better than the rifles"

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130. At 3:37pm on 12 Jun 2008, HardacreJ wrote:
The Big Brother housemates get their first challenge....

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131. At 3:39pm on 12 Jun 2008, HardacreJ wrote:
Sir Alan Sugar is accused of setting pointless challenges for the new season?s apprentice contestants.

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132. At 3:42pm on 12 Jun 2008, greekdancer*muskateer* wrote:
''Why couldn't we just have a marching band like everyone else?''

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133. At 3:42pm on 12 Jun 2008, CamberwellBeauty wrote:
In one desperate attempt to rid themselves of their collective wedgies!

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134. At 3:44pm on 12 Jun 2008, lenkab wrote:
..... your left leg out.......and do the Hokey Cokey....

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135. At 3:49pm on 12 Jun 2008, Candace9839 wrote:
The offence mounted against invading string bands would prove to be a blow out

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136. At 3:56pm on 12 Jun 2008, Spockter wrote:
Philippine Marines Drum and Bugle Corps get some last minute practice in before the finals of the "Synchronised Musical Chairs World Cup"

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137. At 3:57pm on 12 Jun 2008, PoacheLeRen wrote:
Being the 'top brass' in the Philippine army, they didn't have to stand when the General came in.

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138. At 3:57pm on 12 Jun 2008, CoasterCowboy wrote:
Onlookers were starting to guess how the band achieved their world famous low rasping tones!

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139. At 3:58pm on 12 Jun 2008, John_Sevenoaks wrote:
The new instructions for scrummaging bands will be: 'Crouch, touch, remove instrument, engage.'

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140. At 3:58pm on 12 Jun 2008, Tremorman wrote:
Their legs buckled under the strain of the heavy metal they played.

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141. At 4:01pm on 12 Jun 2008, Tremorman wrote:
Had someone stolen the toilets or was this not real chamber music

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142. At 4:02pm on 12 Jun 2008, EngineeredSunshine wrote:
I wanted trumpets on the run, not trumpets with the runs!

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143. At 4:05pm on 12 Jun 2008, The_Abbey wrote:
That's it guys, concentrate on the music and no one will notice we're saddle sore!

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144. At 4:09pm on 12 Jun 2008, nigelmccc wrote:
Are you sure this is the right way to do the Haka?

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145. At 4:09pm on 12 Jun 2008, The_Abbey wrote:
They didn't mean to, but it became obvious they were more used to playing on a banana boat.

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146. At 4:10pm on 12 Jun 2008, Candace9839 wrote:
The new tsunami warning system was low tech but effective

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147. At 4:12pm on 12 Jun 2008, Tremorman wrote:
Well they had for rode for seven hours on horseback

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148. At 4:16pm on 12 Jun 2008, Tremorman wrote:
They got together for a little band practice

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149. At 4:17pm on 12 Jun 2008, Stevedocklands wrote:
Custer's Last Stanza

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150. At 4:21pm on 12 Jun 2008, Tremorman wrote:
The stop a pig in a passage competition proved to be a complete failure.

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151. At 4:21pm on 12 Jun 2008, sarahtrieste wrote:
United we stand, divided we fall.

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152. At 4:21pm on 12 Jun 2008, asillygit wrote:
Unfortunately, just before the dreadful thunderbolt struck, the band had assembled into a tightly-knit metallic huddle.

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153. At 4:23pm on 12 Jun 2008, Candace9839 wrote:
When military juntas go bowling

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154. At 4:23pm on 12 Jun 2008, Tremorman wrote:
The band showed off their new surround sound system

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155. At 4:24pm on 12 Jun 2008, campaign1 wrote:
Well, it worked at Jerico!

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156. At 4:24pm on 12 Jun 2008, sc91hl wrote:
I'm not one to blow my own trumpet...
So here are some guys to do it for me.

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157. At 4:27pm on 12 Jun 2008, asillygit wrote:
As pitch invasions go it was really quite unique.

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158. At 4:33pm on 12 Jun 2008, Rob Falconer wrote:
I see they're taking on Bach now. I think he's losing.

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159. At 4:34pm on 12 Jun 2008, Dodie_James wrote:
"I SAID, I QUITE LIKE MOZART.."

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160. At 4:35pm on 12 Jun 2008, asillygit wrote:
Band On The Runs

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161. At 4:36pm on 12 Jun 2008, Candace9839 wrote:
Prince William's follow on to the helicopter landing had to be especially bold

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162. At 4:41pm on 12 Jun 2008, Jonhadmk2 wrote:
The General Custer Memorial band went down well performing their "Last Stand" finale.

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163. At 4:42pm on 12 Jun 2008, Northern_Simon wrote:
Early Dyson prototype

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164. At 4:42pm on 12 Jun 2008, asillygit wrote:
The chorus girls, with their sadly flawed hexagonal formation, came in a distant second.

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165. At 4:47pm on 12 Jun 2008, asillygit wrote:
Wind emanated not only from their instruments.......

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166. At 4:47pm on 12 Jun 2008, nigelmccc wrote:
And what can be seen using the periscopes on the second row?

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167. At 4:48pm on 12 Jun 2008, Northern_Simon wrote:
Most major armies were showing real interest in the new Gatling Horn.

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168. At 4:49pm on 12 Jun 2008, nigelmccc wrote:
A colliery band, lad? What's a colliery?

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169. At 4:50pm on 12 Jun 2008, nigelmccc wrote:
And you all feel you are distinctive enough to pass the audition for the next Big Brother?

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170. At 4:52pm on 12 Jun 2008, nigelmccc wrote:
Who designed a peashooter with so many bends in it?

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171. At 4:52pm on 12 Jun 2008, nigelmccc wrote:
It's the first blunderbuss with a ringtone.

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172. At 5:00pm on 12 Jun 2008, sarahtrieste wrote:
".........and now for 'Knees Up Mother Brown ' "

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173. At 5:01pm on 12 Jun 2008, sarahtrieste wrote:
Practising in a bell tent had left it's mark.

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174. At 5:02pm on 12 Jun 2008, asillygit wrote:
In an emblematic display of independence the band refuses to march and adopts the no-marching posture.

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175. At 5:16pm on 12 Jun 2008, WajihaSaid wrote:
"Ready men! Aim ... FIRE!"

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176. At 5:19pm on 12 Jun 2008, grumpyoneuk wrote:
With a loud fanfare the the new circular civic public convenience was declared well and truly opened...

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177. At 5:21pm on 12 Jun 2008, mexicanpasty wrote:
Despite a $12,000,000 spend the Army announce their new chairs are delayed for two years

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178. At 5:24pm on 12 Jun 2008, sarahtrieste wrote:
"The Last Post" played on the poop deck.

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179. At 5:41pm on 12 Jun 2008, jdedward wrote:
Gordon Brown, increasingly worried by low employment figures in rural areas, force Trinity House to trial a new fog horn design...

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180. At 5:44pm on 12 Jun 2008, Candace9839 wrote:
The instruments had made it through just fine, but security were sitting on the chairs

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181. At 5:45pm on 12 Jun 2008, jdedward wrote:
As the cost of fuel increases, people are finding ever more interesting ways to try to heat water for tea...

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182. At 5:51pm on 12 Jun 2008, ScouseBelle wrote:
After experimentation, the Filipino riot police decided that they preferred shields and batons when in defense formation.

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183. At 6:03pm on 12 Jun 2008, W_K_Snowdon wrote:
"Its in case the composer turns up.."

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184. At 6:07pm on 12 Jun 2008, sarahtrieste wrote:
The Trust Therapy Group decided to jazz up their sessions.

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185. At 6:08pm on 12 Jun 2008, sarahtrieste wrote:
They realy couldn't face everyone blowing their own horn anymore.

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186. At 6:08pm on 12 Jun 2008, W_K_Snowdon wrote:
If Carlsberg did ring tones..

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187. At 6:09pm on 12 Jun 2008, Candace9839 wrote:
It's an experimental work we're calling 'John Philip Stonehenge'

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188. At 6:12pm on 12 Jun 2008, Poggs1 wrote:
"Ladies and Gentlemen... I give you the President of the Philippines... Ms Glllllooooorrrriiiaaaia Maccaaappppagggaaallll Arrrrrooooyyyooooooo!" (jazz hands)

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189. At 6:15pm on 12 Jun 2008, ncma08 wrote:
Well this blows...

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190. At 6:15pm on 12 Jun 2008, Rockahula wrote:
Woman in crowd: Hmm, I really fancy a 99 cornet but I can't for the life of me think why....

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191. At 6:18pm on 12 Jun 2008, hymanroth wrote:
Filipinos prove you don't need a revolving stage for everyone to get a good view of your trumpet.

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192. At 6:19pm on 12 Jun 2008, Rockahula wrote:
Mike Oldfield returns with a live performance of his difficult second album, 'Circular Horns'.

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193. At 6:34pm on 12 Jun 2008, W_K_Snowdon wrote:
Madonna's latest stage show for her 'Receptacle Tour', was about to get the censors interested..

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194. At 6:40pm on 12 Jun 2008, brianeanna wrote:
The Philippines rugby team unveils its new Haka.

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195. At 6:40pm on 12 Jun 2008, Kipson wrote:
The discount the boys got from "Cheaper by the Dozen Vasectomies" perhaps wasn't worth it after all.

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196. At 6:42pm on 12 Jun 2008, Kipson wrote:
I didn't see those instruments come through customs... I wonder how they smuggled them in.

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197. At 6:44pm on 12 Jun 2008, Kipson wrote:
After the success of I'd do Anything, Andrew Lloyd Webber started the casting competition for The Music Man.

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198. At 6:47pm on 12 Jun 2008, Kipson wrote:
Excuse me but which one of you is Tara Fitzgerald?

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199. At 6:48pm on 12 Jun 2008, Duckcounter wrote:
OK boys, now where do we put the 76 Trombones?

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200. At 6:51pm on 12 Jun 2008, Kipson wrote:
And we're now returning to Rizal Park for a blow by blow account of the big contest.

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201. At 6:55pm on 12 Jun 2008, Candace9839 wrote:
After his success in River City, the Music Man becomes an international consultant

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202. At 6:57pm on 12 Jun 2008, nlmummy wrote:
Auditioning for the next Indiana Jones installment: "Poison darts ready? And ... blow!!!"

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203. At 7:01pm on 12 Jun 2008, SimonRooke wrote:
The band were taking precautions against their musical director's threat regarding anyone playing a wrong note and the subsequent use of his baton.

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204. At 7:26pm on 12 Jun 2008, Dostoyevsky wrote:
Keep blowing guys. I think the effects of the baked beans are wearing off.

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205. At 8:31pm on 12 Jun 2008, noticreo wrote:
Philippine Karate team unveils band.

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206. At 8:55pm on 12 Jun 2008, stigmondo wrote:
Many years later, Heather sent a floral tribute to Paul?s funeral..

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207. At 9:08pm on 12 Jun 2008, dfitzalanh wrote:
The gastric band: Putting the din in dinner.

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208. At 9:15pm on 12 Jun 2008, honesthulley wrote:
"A mix up in the booking left the Country and Western fans totally Brassed Off."

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209. At 9:18pm on 12 Jun 2008, legendaryeggman wrote:
"At the 'Paula Radcliffe tribute concert' things were about to go a bit too far..."

or (warning, shameless Gavin and Stacey reference ahead)

"Oh, squats occurin'?"

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210. At 10:13pm on 12 Jun 2008, CyberSerb wrote:
Experimenting with international cuisine on the night before the celebration proved disastrous for the Philippine band

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211. At 10:27pm on 12 Jun 2008, SimonRooke wrote:
The Philippine Marines Drum and Bugle Corps, Mounted Division, made the best of things despite the recent budget cuts.

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212. At 10:29pm on 12 Jun 2008, SimonRooke wrote:
Circle the wagon boys and sound the warning, I spy Imelda!

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213. At 10:32pm on 12 Jun 2008, W_K_Snowdon wrote:
Darling, you know last year we had a bugler at our BBQ, come and look what the Jones's have done now..

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214. At 10:34pm on 12 Jun 2008, Paujac wrote:
Rally together boys! We can hold 'em off until the clarinet reinforcements arrive!

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215. At 10:39pm on 12 Jun 2008, SeanieSmith wrote:
The Jockey Club garden fate goes with a swing.

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216. At 10:52pm on 12 Jun 2008, sarahtrieste wrote:
The Band hid their age well - but there were still tell-tell signs...

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217. At 10:59pm on 12 Jun 2008, Candace9839 wrote:
The rivalry with the Army had sunk to a new low

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218. At 11:01pm on 12 Jun 2008, SeanieSmith wrote:
The new lead belts proved to be a bad choice for the the Bugle Corps.

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219. At 11:10pm on 12 Jun 2008, strikinglyhandsome1 wrote:
Here's David Davis now, so let's drown him out.

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220. At 11:20pm on 12 Jun 2008, SeanieSmith wrote:
2nd Marines Drum and Bugle Corps (formally 1st Cavalry Division)

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221. At 11:21pm on 12 Jun 2008, strikinglyhandsome1 wrote:
Orchestral Manoeuvres in the Dark

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222. At 11:22pm on 12 Jun 2008, strikinglyhandsome1 wrote:
Orchestral Manoeuvres in the Park

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223. At 11:27pm on 12 Jun 2008, strikinglyhandsome1 wrote:
300 Spartans - The Musical

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224. At 11:28pm on 12 Jun 2008, inspired_mind wrote:
I still say it's a sound strategy, Cap'n.

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225. At 11:35pm on 12 Jun 2008, SeanieSmith wrote:
"OK lads, Imelda is heading this way...on my command - thrust shoes forward!".

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226. At 11:47pm on 12 Jun 2008, MukkaMonkey wrote:
"Band with the runs"

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227. At 11:49pm on 12 Jun 2008, JeniB01 wrote:
Oooh, got a terrible dose of the trumpet bums!

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228. At 11:49pm on 12 Jun 2008, malkiemac wrote:
Brass Bandy

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229. At 11:53pm on 12 Jun 2008, malkiemac wrote:
Phillopian Tubas

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230. At 11:54pm on 12 Jun 2008, SeanieSmith wrote:
Major: "Idiots! I said you were getting a little HOARSE!!"

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231. At 11:56pm on 12 Jun 2008, malkiemac wrote:
Crouching Trumpet, Hidden Dragoon

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232. At 00:20am on 13 Jun 2008, littleDickie wrote:
"Can you spot Simon, Stigmondo, and
Rob Falconer in this mob, eh?
They are all here you know."

littleDickie

NY USA

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233. At 00:45am on 13 Jun 2008, Vicky S wrote:
It soon became clear that selling the band chairs on ebay in order to purchase matching scarves had been a false economy.

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234. At 01:00am on 13 Jun 2008, DerekoftheNorth wrote:
Sadly, the marines had failed to grasp the concept of musical chairs.

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235. At 02:22am on 13 Jun 2008, Candace9839 wrote:
Is it my fault we're sore from having to commandeer horses to ride here after the bus broke down miles from here? Is it?!

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236. At 03:46am on 13 Jun 2008, DerekoftheNorth wrote:
A vivid demonstration of the dangers of cloning.

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237. At 05:07am on 13 Jun 2008, ankhtraveler wrote:
BBC officials were surprised to find Around the Horne was still so popular in the Philippines.

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238. At 05:23am on 13 Jun 2008, ankhtraveler wrote:
Sir Paul wasn't sure what to expect as the marines got ready for their final song, Band on the Run.

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239. At 06:34am on 13 Jun 2008, Kjabooti wrote:
"I said...send in the CLOWNS, not the damn clones!"

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240. At 07:38am on 13 Jun 2008, Pomeegranit22 wrote:
Well blow me down!

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241. At 07:59am on 13 Jun 2008, nigelmccc wrote:
Whose stupid idea was it to combine the hokey-cokey and (lack of) musical chairs?

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242. At 08:01am on 13 Jun 2008, nigelmccc wrote:
EU agriculture regulations didn't allow us to turn the swords into plough-shares.

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243. At 08:07am on 13 Jun 2008, Martyn_KGM wrote:
Don't shoot until you see the whites of there eyes!

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244. At 08:08am on 13 Jun 2008, nigelmccc wrote:
The musical quango had their work cut out to time the "one note each" approach.

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245. At 08:11am on 13 Jun 2008, Martyn_KGM wrote:
They tell me the little ones shoot peas...

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246. At 08:45am on 13 Jun 2008, EngineeredSunshine wrote:
Stay away or we'll toot.

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247. At 08:47am on 13 Jun 2008, starrylandrover wrote:
Custers last band.

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248. At 08:51am on 13 Jun 2008, spooked_monkey wrote:
In an unprecedented move Gordon Brown unveils the latest weaponry for our troops in Iraq

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249. At 08:51am on 13 Jun 2008, ant_marsh wrote:
Pete's trip with Amy was going downhill fast. With all that trumpet noise, Pete wasn't so sure that local chap had heard him right when he asked where he could find some Rizlas......

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250. At 08:59am on 13 Jun 2008, John_Sevenoaks wrote:
A water shortage meant there would be no bubbles this year.

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251. At 09:02am on 13 Jun 2008, John_Sevenoaks wrote:
Downsizing to wind only meant some difficult changes, especially for the cellists.

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252. At 09:07am on 13 Jun 2008, spooked_monkey wrote:
Alexandre Dumas the author of The Three Musketeers; unveils his new book The Trumpeteers

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253. At 09:14am on 13 Jun 2008, greekdancer*muskateer* wrote:
''When you said lets do areobics to music, i didn't think you had this in mind!''

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254. At 09:15am on 13 Jun 2008, Kramaring wrote:
Spot the celebrity ... which one is Tuba Gooding Jnr ?

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255. At 09:18am on 13 Jun 2008, Rob Falconer wrote:
There was a rousing start to the State Opening of the new open-air Philippine Public Conveniences

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256. At 09:23am on 13 Jun 2008, TooSensible wrote:
Surrounded and unarmed, the band fell back on their last line of defence - The Brown Note.

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257. At 09:23am on 13 Jun 2008, abilitycom wrote:
He's behind you!

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258. At 09:37am on 13 Jun 2008, Rob Falconer wrote:
It?s the London Seem-funny Orchestra

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259. At 09:50am on 13 Jun 2008, AceMorris wrote:
I said, form square!

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260. At 09:55am on 13 Jun 2008, alannigelhunt wrote:
The "David Davis Blow Your Own Trumpet Roadshow" in final rehearsal.......

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261. At 10:00am on 13 Jun 2008, BorisLermontov wrote:
In an effort to avoid the muck the marines nearly land on their brass.

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262. At 10:02am on 13 Jun 2008, BorisLermontov wrote:
Now if we all blow together we might just get all the candles out.

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263. At 10:02am on 13 Jun 2008, MuteJoe wrote:
A little more work was required on the Phillipines first attempt to reverse-engineer the Wall of Sound.

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264. At 10:03am on 13 Jun 2008, BorisLermontov wrote:
I'm horny...horny..horny..horny.

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265. At 10:04am on 13 Jun 2008, SeanieSmith wrote:
Buglers instructed to give sympathetic welcome to guests of honour... Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise

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266. At 10:06am on 13 Jun 2008, BorisLermontov wrote:
Despite months of practice no one will forget the day the marine band collectively hit a bum note.

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267. At 10:06am on 13 Jun 2008, SeanieSmith wrote:
Confusion at Coleen and Wayne's wedding as guest band are asked to lower the tone.

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268. At 10:09am on 13 Jun 2008, SeanieSmith wrote:
"OK lads, Imelda is heading this way...on my command - SHOES FORWARD!"

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269. At 10:23am on 13 Jun 2008, MuteJoe wrote:
The band found the works of Diana Deutsch to be quite challenging.

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270. At 10:28am on 13 Jun 2008, Tremorman wrote:
Marines disqualified for using Band instruments

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271. At 10:29am on 13 Jun 2008, IamtheHumanRace wrote:
Due a lack of funds the army are forced to sound out the enemy

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272. At 10:33am on 13 Jun 2008, John_Sevenoaks wrote:
"And finally, what am I bid for this giant set of silver candle snuffers?"

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273. At 10:33am on 13 Jun 2008, Jordan D wrote:
The Army unveils it's new tactic of shock and awe.

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274. At 10:34am on 13 Jun 2008, Jordan D wrote:
The Army take "surrounding" the enemy to a whole new level of sound.

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275. At 10:36am on 13 Jun 2008, John_Sevenoaks wrote:
The marines try a dry run for their surfboard assault landing.

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276. At 10:39am on 13 Jun 2008, JeniB01 wrote:
I want passion, I want movement, I want the audience to feel it and I want the actions!!! Now after three, let's do Hawaii Five-O!

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277. At 10:40am on 13 Jun 2008, malienware wrote:
The sequel to 300 had gone in a new 'artistic' direction

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278. At 10:43am on 13 Jun 2008, nasos007 wrote:
On my mark: "Fire", shouts the commanding officer

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279. At 10:44am on 13 Jun 2008, John_Sevenoaks wrote:
"Tell it to the Horse Marines."

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280. At 10:46am on 13 Jun 2008, EngineeredSunshine wrote:
I know we are playing Pachelbel's Canon, but I didn't mean for us to literally play a round.

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281. At 10:50am on 13 Jun 2008, akaTomflash wrote:
With a marauding string section on the loose, the brass band had no choice but to retreat into the standard defensive formation.

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282. At 10:59am on 13 Jun 2008, AquaBeauman wrote:
Filipino commandos show of the latest in blow dart technology!

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283. At 11:00am on 13 Jun 2008, John_Sevenoaks wrote:
"Don't panic, it's just David Davis and his friends giving up their seats."

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284. At 11:00am on 13 Jun 2008, wjcsibelius wrote:
After a long and tedious meeting with the town twinning association, the third euphonian finally decides to stand for Haltemprice and Howden.

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285. At 11:06am on 13 Jun 2008, Callumincheese wrote:
The New Zealand team tried out the new instrumental Haka

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286. At 11:08am on 13 Jun 2008, Callumincheese wrote:
The one legged brass band was the highlight of the day

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287. At 11:10am on 13 Jun 2008, Callumincheese wrote:
The audience were keen to see the world record for inflating a bouncy castle, smashed!

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288. At 11:13am on 13 Jun 2008, SeanieSmith wrote:
Parp!

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289. At 11:14am on 13 Jun 2008, Fatelvez wrote:
The auditions for '300 the musical' were going well, but some say the costume designer my not have seen the movie.

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290. At 11:14am on 13 Jun 2008, bbharry wrote:
The buglers protected their tuba players cleverly with their 'loud sound circle'.

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291. At 11:16am on 13 Jun 2008, gawainnash wrote:
Got the horn? We love you long time!

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292. At 11:21am on 13 Jun 2008, gawainnash wrote:
Ta daaaaaaaaaaahhhhh!!!!!

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293. At 11:21am on 13 Jun 2008, BorisLermontov wrote:
As the marauding gazebos close in for the kill the ill equipped marines take up defensive positions.

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294. At 11:21am on 13 Jun 2008, JeniB01 wrote:
The Manila Drum and Bugle Corps version of Kylie Minogue's "Spinning Around", followed by the Dead Or Alive classic, "You Spin Me"(right round baby).

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295. At 11:22am on 13 Jun 2008, littleDickie wrote:
"I've got a hamstring cramp and the whole
line is collapsing."

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296. At 11:24am on 13 Jun 2008, stigmondo wrote:
What happened when the Queen let Prince Harry book the music for the Buckingham Palace summer Garden Party?

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297. At 11:24am on 13 Jun 2008, grunsfutock wrote:
Diamonds are a girls best friend, but a brass ring can be horny too.

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298. At 11:25am on 13 Jun 2008, chappers009 wrote:
"You Americans for always blowing your own trumpets!"

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299. At 11:25am on 13 Jun 2008, MersonTuffers wrote:

Any chance of getting a Glastonbury or Download booking next year? When we said we wanted to make 'a big noise' this really WASN'T what we had in mind!!!

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300. At 11:26am on 13 Jun 2008, John_Sevenoaks wrote:
To mark the anniversary, the Phillipines form another island.

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301. At 11:27am on 13 Jun 2008, jellyba wrote:
musical chairs delux

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302. At 11:28am on 13 Jun 2008, MersonTuffers wrote:
The brass band realised too late that judging the 'Hottest Chilli in Texas' competition had been a big mistake...

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303. At 11:29am on 13 Jun 2008, TurboToad wrote:
The members of her majesty's light peashooter brigade display the latest in peashooting technology

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304. At 11:34am on 13 Jun 2008, BorisLermontov wrote:
The marines go commando in their rented uniforms with little regard for the cost of the cleaning bill.

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305. At 11:38am on 13 Jun 2008, margymarg wrote:
Peas loaded gents, aim and FIRE

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306. At 11:42am on 13 Jun 2008, TubaMiriam wrote:
Wisely, the audience chose to stand behind the band.

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307. At 11:43am on 13 Jun 2008, Gwappa81 wrote:
Using an unconventional stance, the trumpeteers tried to hide the fact they all had the horn.

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308. At 11:43am on 13 Jun 2008, patio-phalangist wrote:
Total surround sound............

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309. At 11:43am on 13 Jun 2008, JeniB01 wrote:
The audience began to question the wisdom of standing behind the band.

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310. At 11:44am on 13 Jun 2008, electricdennett wrote:
Prince charming! Prince Charming! Ridicule is nothing to be scared of!

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311. At 11:44am on 13 Jun 2008, John_Sevenoaks wrote:
To achieve lift off, Manila's early attempt to join the space race needed more downward thrust.

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312. At 11:47am on 13 Jun 2008, MuteJoe wrote:
Sales of Guitar Hero III lag far behind Brass Idol in Southeast Asia.

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313. At 11:49am on 13 Jun 2008, John_Sevenoaks wrote:
"Caps in the air boys, you've all passed 'Wind'".

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314. At 11:56am on 13 Jun 2008, TubaMiriam wrote:
The traditional brass haka.

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315. At 12:00pm on 13 Jun 2008, jellyba wrote:
the Gideon wall

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316. At 12:01pm on 13 Jun 2008, JeniB01 wrote:
A re-working of Adam and the Ants 'Stand and Deliver' - 'Stand In Manilla'

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317. At 12:02pm on 13 Jun 2008, CairngormMcWomble wrote:

Round the Horn, the musical!

Julian and Sandy's big entrance!

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318. At 12:03pm on 13 Jun 2008, TubaMiriam wrote:
As lullabies went this was a bit different.

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319. At 12:03pm on 13 Jun 2008, JeniB01 wrote:
The concept of 'playing around' was lost in translation.

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320. At 12:04pm on 13 Jun 2008, jellyba wrote:
who stole the last chair

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321. At 12:04pm on 13 Jun 2008, Permafan wrote:
David Davis receives unexpected fanfare from the Phillipine Quarter of his Haltemprice and Howden constituency as he stumbles, unemployed, into the beer tent.

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322. At 12:06pm on 13 Jun 2008, TNSCapcom wrote:
As physical torture is now ilegal, the CIA gets creative

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323. At 12:07pm on 13 Jun 2008, TNSCapcom wrote:
Philipino blow job

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324. At 12:07pm on 13 Jun 2008, TNSCapcom wrote:
The marines were so into the theme-tune from Hawaii 5-0 they didn't notice the mass chair-theft

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325. At 12:09pm on 13 Jun 2008, markypolo wrote:
The band playing at Wayne and Coleen Rooney's wedding gather for a quick practice of the trumpet voluntary

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326. At 12:10pm on 13 Jun 2008, NoMoreFA wrote:
Philipino cavalry band still looking for horse thieves

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327. At 12:11pm on 13 Jun 2008, Permafan wrote:
News of David Davis' departure reaches the Phillipine Quarter of his Haltemprice and Howden constituency.

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328. At 12:18pm on 13 Jun 2008, nivensinoz wrote:
Ah, right, sorry about this chaps but we forgot the chairs.............bugger..erm...keep blowing and we'll thing of something.........erm........TAXI!!!

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329. At 12:19pm on 13 Jun 2008, Geezer24601 wrote:
American network ABC's version of 'Round The Horne' gets off on the wrong foot!

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330. At 12:21pm on 13 Jun 2008, nivensinoz wrote:
Ah, right, sorry about this chaps but we forgot the chairs.............bugger..erm...keep blowing and we'll think of something.........erm........TAXI!!!

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331. At 12:24pm on 13 Jun 2008, jellyba wrote:
the band of the Seventh Cavalry fear attack

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332. At 12:25pm on 13 Jun 2008, abudujana wrote:
Having stood at attention for six hours while the President slept in his chair, they made a last effort to get him to wake up

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333. At 12:29pm on 13 Jun 2008, JeniB01 wrote:
"Round and round the garden danced the teddy bear.."

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334. At 12:29pm on 13 Jun 2008, Kettering_Jeremy wrote:
The band had their own way of having a knees up.

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335. At 12:29pm on 13 Jun 2008, RH_Ranelagh wrote:
Madness Anyone? Baggy Trousers?

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336. At 12:29pm on 13 Jun 2008, abudujana wrote:
Last trumpet

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337. At 12:30pm on 13 Jun 2008, John_Sevenoaks wrote:
"Right wheel! Crab march!"

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338. At 12:31pm on 13 Jun 2008, JeniB01 wrote:
The band played their own version of the Wings classic 'Band on the run' - 'Band got the runs'

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339. At 12:31pm on 13 Jun 2008, Kettering_Jeremy wrote:
When I said "park your brass", I meant put your instruments down!!

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