With the current coverage of the forthcoming Crewe & Nantwich by-election, I was wondering if you could clarify if BBC presenters have been instructed how to pronounce Nantwich? I was born in Crewe (and lived there for 20 years) and have always used Nan-twitch. Some of your presenters seem to use this pronunciation, but many others (including Anita Anand on Radio 5 Live), go with Nant-witch (as in North-witch). Fortunately, Crewe does not cause such a problem.
Andrew Brown, Twickenham
The hybrid embryo picture looks like a garden from the Chelsea Flower show.
Re The maths of Eurovision voting. There is another explanation - other countries enter better songs than we do. I've listened to all of this year's 43 entries a couple of times and even though I like Andy Abraham's entry, and even though he doesn't have to take part in a semi-final to reach the final, there are other songs I like more (some from the Balkan and Scandinavian blocs). The UK will be lucky to reach the top 10; I've not seen the performances though, so some of those might influence the voting rather than it being purely based on the quality of the songs. I'm in two minds about Ireland's entry - it is actually quite catchy if you're still listening after the dreadful first 20 seconds. Whether it gets through the semi-final will be quite telling.
Ed, Clacton, UK
I eagerly clicked on the link to the Twitter feed today, all excited in the hopes of maybe discovering a few clues to answer the eternal question (is Paper Monitor male or female?). Imagine my crushing disappointment - intermingled with curiosity - on discovering that my workplace bans Twitter because of "adult material". My mind is well and truly boggled.
Re the bonus question on Twitter with the answer "landscaping for fish" - after the success of Surf Science, what did staff at the University of Plymouth propose next?
John Bingham, Kingston, UK
Forget non-starting Monitor romances, I want to know whether Holly Ann Calloway accepts Dewey McAlister's invitation to dinner (Facebook set for major facelift). I do hope so; she only has six Facebook friends and an unhealthy attachment to her dog...
Martin S, Newbury, UK
Re Bob Peters' letter on chubby folk emitting CO2 when they lose weight. CO2 as a result of metabolism is carbon neutral (unless you've been eating fossil fuels). There is no net release of carbon dioxide from eating pies, only through the manufacture and delivery of said pie (and then only if either process has involved the oxidation of fossil carbon deposits).
I think I've reached the point where I would prefer to be plump but young, rather than skinny and the age I am.
Ian, Cosenza, Italy
After reading Socks-away for 500-year-old race ), I had decided that the only fair way to distribute the knitted Monitor action figures (and avoid any imminent invasions) was to hold some form of competition, but as my Caption Comp action figure pointed out, they are no longer allowed, so you'll just have to make do with eBay. If they prove less popular than I hoped, then I shall retire them all here (Knitted house is a woolly wonder), where they can live out their days in woolly freedom, unadorned with oppressive interrobangs.
Dylan, Reading, UK
Surely a BBC reporter should know that it's not "Swashes were buckled" (Indiana Jones is back - and on form). It's "Bucklers were swashed".
Alexander Lewis Jones, Nottingham, UK
Did anybody else, after seeing the 10 things picture by Martin Cheeseman, think to themselves "Bad dog"?
Angel, Coventry, UK
Val Clachan, who is so exercised by "been" pronounced as "bin" (Fridays letters) would quickly be driven mad if (s)he moved Down Under.
Alan, Wellington, NZ
At school near Manchester I dreamed of the chance to answer the teacher's question "Where's the bin?" with "Ah've bin 'ome fer me dinner, miss!"
Keith, Lismore, Ireland
Does Helen spend all her time travelling around England, sending letters to the Monitor?
David Richerby, Leeds, UK
A spider web's strength is equivalent to roughly 10 times the strength of steel. A random fact, but always good for filling those awkward silences with...
Alex Murray, Camberley, UK
Monitor note: And feeding geese peck 130 times a minute.