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Paper Monitor

12:10 UK time, Wednesday, 14 May 2008

A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.

Seems to be dirty laundry day for the high profile establishment women of Britain today. Rinsing out her private troubles in the media is firstly Sarah Ferguson, soon to be seen on ITV1 shacking up with an overweight family who live in Hull on £80 a week.

The Daily Mirror kicks off with the sympathetic "Fergie's TV torment" which opens with quotes from the vulnerable duchess about her ugly sense of herself and how she's learned to handle "dark" feelings by talking to her daughters instead of comfort eating. A chartered pyschologist even gets a spot on how to think positive.

Contrast with the Daily Mail's treatment: "Can we stomach Fergie telling us all what to eat?" - naturally accompanied with a photo of the Duchess of York taken 14 years ago when she was bigger. Although clearly not many people could ever be big enough to withstand the vitriol of her press at the time.

Now, which way to turn when Cherie Blair's serialised memoirs have thrown up so many fascinating threads for reporters to follow?

A nice variety today:

The essence of the Daily Telegraph's angle is that Cherie thinks Bill Clinton is pretty fanciable - she can see what Monica saw in him, that's for sure. The Guardian goes with the Blairs' jointly sinking hearts on learning that George Bush had won the 2000 election. And David Kelly's family tell the Mail that Cherie should be ashamed of herself for writing about his suicide in a way that shows Tony Blair as a good man with pure motives.

Paper Monitor is scouring the Mirror for a Cherie memoir mention - but it seems to be absent. Could the Mirror be refusing to play because it's the Sun which has the serialisation rights?

Jane Moore at the Currant Bun hits the bullseye with her summary of the biggest cringe of Cherie's book. Leo was conceived at Balmoral (Paper Monitor winces and Cherie Blair writes) because she was too embarrassed to pack her contraceptive "equipment" when staff would be unpacking her suitcase.

What equipment would possibly be so indiscreet and difficult to conceal in a washbag, wonders Ms Moore: "Not since Paula Yates announced that Michael Hutchence did 'six things that were illegal' on their first night together have our minds raced so." It must be noted that royal helpers unpacked even Cherie's washbag and its "range of unmentionables".

And lastly, a comedy creation for you to make at home. The leftovers of yesterday's Sex and the City premiere are everywhere and it's the practical Sun Woman pages who triumph with a helpful demo of how to fashion an imitation Philip Treacy hat as sported by Sarah Jessica Parker... out of a pineapple and a coat hanger.

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