I spent most of Friday afternoon looking forward to a witty letter on here about the absurd picture at the top of this story. Having failed to come up with one myself, and being already in awe of the wit of the Monitor's reader - and 5pm comes round - nothing. Not a peep. Not even a mention of those hideous slippers.
A bit late I know, but a thought on Friday's Paper Monitor: on some reality show or another last year, Ms Klass was doing an outside broadcast with a rather exuberant crowd. She described said crowd as "going literally mental". Oh dear.
The Bob, Glasgow
Re 10 things: It may well be true that the G-spot can be located by ultrasound, but surely I'm not alone in thinking that there is a real risk that it could spoil the moment?
Adam, London, UK
The "ten carrots" (or ten slices of carrot, to be pedantic) are quite clearly depicting the number 11 in Roman numerals. Why?
Just for the record, for last night's Oscars I was wearing a brushed nylon Matalan dressing gown, worn decolletage with Marmite and Ryvita crumb trim, accessorised with black Primark socks.
Mike, Newcastle upon Tyne
Your story 'Arts job boost for young people' notes the pledge that "The government will encourage the protection of live music venues". So is that more jobs for bouncers?
Can someone tell me why it is, that when I look at the BBC weather for "Eastern Europe" and "Northern Europe" (they show almost the same map!) the weather reports are always totally different? Which one am I to believe?
Richard Savage, Plzen, Czech Republic
So Harriet Harman and others think that paying for sex should be made illegal? Should I be worried about that box of Milk Tray I bought my wife last week?
Rob Falconer, Llandough, Wales
Emma, London (Letters, Friday) - The two stories you mention don't actually contradict each other. They simply point out two facts about sleeping. Naps could, in fact, boost your memory whilst warning of a stroke.
It's late in the day. I'm allowed to be a pedant.
Rob, Birmingham, UK
A challenge for the pronunciation guide writer: how on earth do you pronounce the name of the Kosovan state of Strpce?
Becky Adamson, KL Malaysia