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Paper Monitor

11:34 UK time, Friday, 12 October 2007

A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.

"SAMANTHA CAMERON. Has she made Smythson sexy?"

Is this the most Daily Telegraph question every written? All the ingredients are there. Take one lass who is attractive, yet fully clothed and rather well-bred. Mix with a company of impeccable pedigree. Season with the word "sexy" - no more than a dash, mind - and leaven with a photo of said filly decked out in a polo-neck and overcoat. Rrrrr!

Can the rest of the papers follow suit and encapsulate their own brand in just a few words?

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After some "furious rifling", Paper Monitor at last has sufficient copies of today's papers to find out.

"Shocked jurors see photographs of dying Diana SEE PAGE 5" - yes, it's the Daily Express

"Birthday boy's father and brother battered by YouTube gatecrashers" - the Daily Mail weaves a cautionary tale of teen parties, yobs run wild and the internet. The paper also compares 2007 mums with their 1977 counterparts, pointing out that mothers today have more shoes, fewer children and yet spend less time doing housework. What, pray tell, could be the subtext?

"Second homes and the budget bonanza" - yes, the Times has a pull-out section for its readers with weekend boltholes. And what will they be doing once they've reached said bolthole? Why, reading the second pull-out on "How to beat France".

"Our young children are anxious, badly behaved, stressed, depressed and obsessed with the cult of celebrity" - complete with photo of sad-eyed boy, it is of course the Independent's front page headline. Come now, Indy, why use 16 words when one will do? Say it with me now: "CRUELTY".

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