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Paper Monitor

11:36 UK time, Friday, 31 August 2007

A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.

There is a story in today’s newspapers that shall not be referred to by Paper Monitor by name. It shall be known simply as That Story.

In the Daily Express today there is a surprisingly restrained seven pages of That Story, but the Sun really goes out on a journalistic limb by commissioning full-time controversialist Julie Burchill to write an 8-page souvenir pull-out.

Needless to say, the squeaky-voiced one loves the tragic princess of That Story, but her paean may be, how shall we say, a little ripe for many Sun readers’ tastes.

The tragic princess is described as a “chubby teenager” (in a pot-kettle name-calling scenario), Sarah Ferguson is dubbed “vulgar and slutty” and “ginger minger”, and in a similar style Burchill (the “most outspoken fan”) suggests the tragic princess had a “bitchy, minxy streak”.

The Independent puts that story in its rightful place, or at least what the Indy thinks is its rightful place, on page 45.

And in other news, the Daily Mail says cider’s back and the serious papers start a ball of panic rolling by suggesting Barclays is having to resort to loans from the big bank equivalent of those finance companies who advertise during Trisha.

In the Daily Telegraph, there’s a story with “Facebook” in it on the front. The barbarians are at the gates. It’s time for Paper Monitor to flee.

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