A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.
The world has shifted on its axis. It's A-level results day for the papers and that means photos of attractive young things jumping for joy/hugging/shrieking in delight. Few have this art down to such a T as the Daily Telegraph.
But what's this? The blonde on the front page is Madeleine McCann's mother Kate. And the young things hugging each other appear to be boys - only it's hard to tell, seeing as they've been squeezed into a corner of the "see inside" strap.
So what about the celebration pics inside, surely at least one will conform to type? Jumping for joy shot? Check, but they are all boys. Beaming young royal? Check, but Beatrice is bumped to a wee snapshot at the bottom of page five. Twins? Check (although both sport glasses and zipped-up hoodies - for an example of twins that fit the traditional template, see the heavily made-up blondes in the Times).
And the other papers? The Independent has pretty brunettes (see what they did there?) in vest-tops hugging.
The Guardian snaps its smiling students at a grammar school - a bit posh, like, but it's in Bradford so pleasingly non-white. And the Daily Mirror, predictably, has Mel Slade - girlfriend of footballer Theo Walcott - and former Miss England Hammasa Kohistani.