A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.
Day Two of the Wills and Kate carry-on, and whether or not they are an "item" once again, all bets are clearly off when it comes to News International's much vaunted ban on paparazzi shots of Miss Middleton.
The Sun prints a grainy shot of the couple enjoying candlelit cocktails at the post Princess Diana concert party, and then snaps Miss Middleton again as she arrives home after the gig.
Still on the royal stump, although moving up a generation, the Times and Telegraph roll out their medical briefing/notebook respectively to pore over the Countess of Wessex's news that she is pregnant at 42, having already suffered an ectopic pregnancy.
Paper Monitor has long admired the Times' resident quack Dr Thomas Stuttaford's ability to opine endlessly about any story with the merest glancing medical reference.
Some months ago, Paper Monitor cast a keen eye over the subliminal messages given off by newspaper giveaways, noting the Telegraph's choice of Dr Seuss to be generally improving but not stuffy. Its current offer of bedtime story CDs – including Little Women, Heidi and The Wind in the Willows – strikes a similar chord. But it reeks a little of neglectful parenting – does the Telegraph really want children being lulled to sleep of an evening by a mechanical device rather than an attentive parent?
Final word to the Guardian, which moves on from Tesco-bashing while still managing to instil some guilt among its organically-oak-aged-balsamic audience who no doubt love the convenience of supermarket shopping but would shudder at the thought of being seen in one of Sir Terry's emporiums: "Forget Tesco: the bigger threat to small shops may be Waitrose".
Update 1543: Apologies for Paper Monitor's late publication today. You guessed it: Technical Gremlins.