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Paper Monitor

12:49 UK time, Tuesday, 29 May 2007

A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.

It is a day for Great British News (henceforth GBN).

GBN is characterised by delight at unseasonal bad weather, dangerous but traditional chasing of cheese, grammar schools and house prices.

GBN is illustrated by pictures of inside-out umbrellas, cars throwing up great waves of water and concerned looking middle-class folk.

In the Daily Telegraph, there is the worrying news that we have too many flats and not enough houses.

In the Times, there is the equally worrying suggestion that buy-to-letters will be pursued for back taxes.

In the Daily Mail, Richard Littlejohn rails against the British Council’s decision not to support the 150th anniversary of Edward Elgar’s birth.

”Elgar stands for everything the Guardianistas who run these organisations despise – patriotism and Englishness.”

Away from the world of GBN, the Daily Mirror celebrates the union of Kristin Georgi and Joe Hardy III in Masontown, Pennsylvania.

Ms Georgi is a 22-year-old vision of blonde nubility and Mr Hardy III is, in the words of the Mirror, a “flabby 84-year-old billionaire”.

Paper Monitor rues such cynicism.

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