A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.
Paper Monitor was uncharacteristically forced to stand for much of its journey to work today, and, to add insult to injury, the newsagent had run out of all but the Daily Star and a dog-eared copy of the Mail on Sunday.
Much as Paper Monitor loves you, it could not quite bring itself to unleash a few coppers for either offering, so instead brings you an instalment of that occasional feature, headlines-glimpsed-over-shoulders.
SO WHAT DOES THIS EX-MISS UK SEE IN £500m STELIOS? - Daily Mail (no, wait, don't tell us...)
MAGPIE MENACE: YOU MIGHT SALUTE HIM FOR LUCK - BUT THE JAUNTY MAGPIE IS A SAVAGE PREDATOR SLAUGHTERING OUR SONGBIRDS - can you guess? It's the Mail again
LADY MACCA IN A MINK: PICTURES ANTI-FUR HEATHER DIDN'T WANT WORLD TO SEE - Daily Mirror with a headline that paints a thousand words
THE GREAT UNREAD: DBC PIERRE, HARRY POTTER... OH YES, AND DAVID BLUNKETT - the Guardian on the books most often left unfinished
Ha! What tickles Paper Monitor is that it was the Guardian which serialised Blunkett's interminable diaries last year. And today's verdict of its digested read? "Not even the publisher can have got to the end of this." Money for old rope then (to get the serialisation rights).
The Mail also has a picture of David Cameron wearing ethical trainers while planting trees for a green action day. These are as box-fresh and unblemished as his "favourite" Converse trainers habitually worn on dress-down photo op days.
Speaking of new outfits, Paper Monitor notes that today the Daily Telegraph is tricked out in a most flattering periwinkle blue that brings out its eyes, and offsets its tomato red highlights very nicely. Lovely. (Still no letters to the editor on its new look though...)