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Paper Monitor

11:16 UK time, Tuesday, 13 March 2007

A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.

Love is blind, that's the conclusion Paper Monitor has reached when it comes to the Daily Telegraph's redesign by stealth. Its devoted readership still don't seem to have noticed, if the letters to the editor are anything to go by. Business rates, botox, even Admiral Byng have prompted people to write in, but not the paper's exciting new colour palette.

Today it's sporting a glorious burnt sienna, so beautiful it brings tears to the eyes. But if love is blind, why can Paper Monitor see these changes? After all, it isn't some childish crush when it come to this webpage and that broadsheet - it's the real thing (unrequited counts, so there). Could it be that love is a many coloured thing for Paper Monitor? Who knows, but it's worrying.

Even more worrying is what this keen sense of colour is also drawing Paper Monitor's eye to - Gordon Brown as the Incredible Hulk. The Daily Mirror has superimposed the chancellor's head on the hulk's green, rippling torso.

The paper has done it to illustrate the battle between Labour and the Tories over environmental issues, but the result is disturbing enough to send most people's faces a similar shade of green. Tory leader David Cameron pictured as a leprechaun is far easier to digest.

Another riot of colour in the papers is Liz Hurley's Hindu wedding. It looks like a pink and gold explosion in a paint factory and an expensive one at that, if the estimates for Liz's pink, diamond-encrusted sari and Arun's gold, embroidered silk sherwani are correct.

But is there a sniff of scandal? All that money and still Arun didn't wear any shoes, says the eagle-eyed Daily Mail. But it helpfully informs us this is what decorum demands at a Hindu wedding, just in time to stop us throwing down the paper in disgust. There was one bargain however - the henna tattoos on Liz's hands cost just a fiver. Cheapskate!

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