A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.
Day one of I'm a Celebrity and already it's bikinis, boobs, boasts, bitching, bragging, bullying… Bullying??
So Metro tells us. "Reality TV stars 'promote bullying'" runs the front page splash, which reports on an attack by a teachers' union leader, who branded the likes of Sir Alan Sugar and Gordon Ramsay "brutes".
Even St Jamie, comes in for a knocking, according to the Metro, for "oversimplifying the causes of obesity, leaving overweight children open to cruel taunts".
But what's this immediately beneath the story? A "teaser" box promoting Metro's coverage of I'm a Celebrity. "He's fat, he's rude, he's considered by some to be a bit weird… but David Gest is the 'I'm a Celeb' favourite".
Well, that's alright then kids.
The Daily Mail, meanwhile, has the nanny state in its cross hairs again, with news the government is about to unleash "The Nursery Rhyme Police" on parents who let their children vegetate in front of video games.
Is this a bad time to mention the Mail's "Free Disney PC Computer Game" giveaway? And what doe they mean by "PC" exactly? Are we to learn that the Mouses - Mickey and Minnie - are not actually married; have been living in sin all these years? Are Goofy and Pluto, how shall we say this, palnning a civil partnership?
Suggestions welcome in Monitor letters.