Re Disney's new African-American princess. Bonnie Greer says: "It's probably a combination of our new president, a feeling that change has swept the land and thinking about how they can get involved in this change."
I think you will find that, like most big-budget animation films, this has been in production for the best part of six or seven years, meaning the concept was agreed upon long before the President Obama ever decided to run for the top job. Believe it or not, he is not responsible for every cultural change in American life. I'm just pleased to see Disney back to 2D animation - what they do best.
Martin, Bristol, UK

Headline of the year: devon cornwall water bill bills south west water
Behn, Plymouth

So according to 7 days 7 questions and which Jedward is which, "like Ant and Dec, they try to always stand on the same side to help people differentiate". I find it quite easy to differentiate between Ant and Dec, due the fact they're not twins and look completely different anyway.
James Dawkins, London

Ah, Vanity Fair...
Maisy, Milton Keynes

Woo Hoo! For the first time ever in four years I've scored 7 out of 7 on the 7 days quiz! Tunnocks teacakes are on me, folks...
Charlie, Wantage, UK

For the first time in absolutely years, I got 7 out of 7 on the news quiz. Any chance I can have some kudos? Also, can I collect the kudos which I won for back-to-back top six captions from summer '08?
Jordan D, London, UK
Monitor note: Catch!

Chookgate (Thursday letters), that may be the definition of osmosis when used metaphorically, but it's not the scientific definition. And since Paper Monitor mentioned a science teacher, the scientific definition is the one that is implied.
Alexander Lewis Jones, Nottingham, UK
Monitor note: Paper Monitor has left the building

I had to reread the first paragraph of this story three times and I'm still not sure I understand what happened...
Dave W, Liverpool, UK

Dear Pedants' Corner,
Re Paper Monitor's "It's political correctness gone mad..."
No, no, no. It's health and safety gone mad. I refer you to Stewart Lee's recent and excellent TV programme on the distinction for further clarification.
Thank you.
Saffron Garey, Farnborough, Hants
Monitor note: Oh Saffron, you of all people should have got it then...

Is it wrong for me to think the health 'n' safety Christmas tree looks quite nice? Also the town centre manager stuck to the public's wishes.
K Morrison, Rochester, UK

Gerry (Thursday letters), the "sixth form" consists of the sixth and seventh years of secondary school, while the fifth year of secondary school has been referred to as "year 11" since 1990.
Mandy, Cambridge

What is Jedward?
Paul Jorgensen, Oman

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Snippets from the week's news, sliced, diced and processed for your convenience.

1. Michael Jackson's iconic white glove is a modified golf glove.
More details (The Scotsman)

2. To be a Beefeater you have to have done 22 years military service.
More details (The Times)

3. Seemingly vegetative patients are asked to think of playing tennis while being scanned for evidence of consciousness.
More details

4. The UK had its first curry restaurant in 1809.
More details

5. The hamlet of Seathwaite in Borrowdale is, on average, the wettest inhabited place in England.
More details

6. All British infrastructure, including bridges, is designed to at least withstand the kind of flooding that would happen on average once every 200 years.
More details

7. Hammerhead sharks can actually see rather well.
More details

8. And humans use their skin to "hear".
More details

9. Google will only remove images from its image search facility if legally ordered to do so.
More details

10. Christmas trees can be dangerous.
More details

Seen 10 things? Send us a picture to use next week. Thanks to Catriona Morrison for this picture of 10 legs.

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Winning entries in the Caption Competition.

The competition is now closed. Full rules can be seen here [PDF].

This week it's French artist Alice Daquet preparing for a performance in a huge balloon at the opening ceremony of an art festival in Tokyo.

Thanks to all who entered. The prize of a small amount of kudos to the following:

6. Candace9839
Guitar Hero post-H1N1

5. aberdeen_girl
*sigh* Looks like I'll be playing Portmeirion again...

4. jellyba
Why Debbie Harry never ages.

3. bennym22
Producers vehemently deny that they are starting to run out of ideas with the Saw Christmas Special.

2. LaurenceLane
Morrissey suggested it for my next gig in Liverpool.

1. discom8
New method is revealed to prevent Sheffield students from urinating in the street.

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A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.

Sorry for the delay - last night Paper Monitor was lured out for a pre-pre-Christmas drinkie, stayed out past bedtime, and is feeling a little worse for wear. Even after a coffee and breakfast bap. And - and! - someone's snaffled most of the papers.

(Fortunately, this wasn't on tap, otherwise your columnist would be most unwell today.)

It being nearly December, Christmas lights bedeck many a High Street, and festive trees are being erected in squares and shopping centres up and down the land. The rest of us may look at these and coo (so long as they don't go up too early), but those in charge of such decorations have but one thought in mind - it's all fun and games until someone loses an eye.

Cue the inevitable photo of what's sure to be dubbed "Britain's worst Christmas tree", which has recently appeared in a shopping precinct in Poole, Dorset.

"The health and safety Christmas tree: there's no mess and you can wipe your feet on it" - the Times

"When is a Christmas tree not a Christmas tree? When it is a giant cone covered in what appears to be green doormats...
It has no trunk so it won't blow over, no branches to break off and land on someone's head, no pine needles to poke a passer-by in the eye, no decorations for drunken teenagers to steal and no angel, presumably because it would need a dangerously long ladder to place it at the top."

The Daily Express headlines the story "Oh joy, it's the Elf and Safety Christmas tree".
"Christmas cone baffles shoppers" - Daily Telegraph

And the Daily Mail? It talks to the man who chose it, town centre manager, Richard Randall-Jones.

"'People think you can just go into the woods, chop down a tree and put it up in the high street. But if it blows over and kills someone then somebody is liable for it. We have to have guy ropes and hoardings to stop it from falling over and hitting somebody.
'Last year the board said they and the public didn't like all the ropes and hoardings around the Christmas tree. So I was tasked with finding a solution and we came up with the cone tree.'"

It's political correctness gone mad...

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Welcome to the Weekly Bonus Question.

Each week the news quiz 7 days 7 questions will offer an answer. You are invited to suggest what the question might have been.

Suggestions should be sent using the COMMENTS BOX IN THIS ENTRY. And since nobody likes a smart alec, kudos will be deducted for predictability in your suggestions.

This week's answer is 1x SHRUNK WISHY WASHY. But what's the question?

UPDATE 1638 GMT: The correct question is, name one of the neatly labelled props waiting in the wings for panto season to start?

Of your imaginatively wrong questions, we liked:

• Clarence_E_Pitts' In the Hogwarts version of The Twelve Days of Christmas, what precedes 2x Ghouls-a-courting?
• BeckySnow's How did my mother refer to my last boyfriend?
• philjwade's What is the age old problem experienced by men when they jump into an ice cold bath?
• MightyGiddyUpGal's New dance craze for the ambivalent?

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"This is an extremely strong beer; it should be enjoyed in small servings and with an air of aristocratic nonchalance. In exactly the same manner that you would enjoy a fine whisky, a Frank Zappa album or a visit from a friendly yet anxious ghost" - Label on controversial 32% strength beer.

There are more brickbats than bouquets for Tactical Nuclear Penguin, a Scottish beer that seems designed to cause a furore.
More details

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Andy, Woking - In PM's defence, the Chambers dictionary (chambersharrap.co.uk) gives this as an alternative definition for osmosis: a gradual, usually unconscious, process of assimilation or absorption of ideas or knowledge. I hand you your coat!
Chookgate, Milton Keynes

Re Andy's letter... which is why Paper Monitor called it news osmosis. PM could have called it newsmosis I suppose and then no one would complain but then again no one would understand either. Personally, I thought it rather clever.
Chris Clarke, Grenoble, France

Andy, that'll be a Gore-Tex coat presumably.
Owain Williams, Regensburg

Re this story, it's good to see that Gordon has found time for things other than football punitry since leaving Celtic.
Simon Rooke, Nottingham UK

Re the headline "Urinating student avoids prison"
I wouldn't have thought it would have been too difficult.
Dr W B Chellam, Bradford

Well, Adam Wednesday's letter) and Christopher (Tuesday's letters), perhaps Paper Monitor isn't so much revealing his or her age as his or her country of secondary education. Scottish schools don't refer to the amalgamated fifth and sixth years as a "sixth form". "Fifth form" is thus still acceptable. Coupled with the north-of-the-border-sounding "Ms McLeish", this could suggest a Caledonian cultivation.
Gerry, Glasgow

Why oh why did you have to use that image for this story? I'm gagging for a curry now!
rousemedia@bbc_magazine

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