Not as Special as the Special 1
What is it with all the managers seeking advice from the Special 1? And not about fantastic unbeaten goal scoring tactics, asking for advice on what to say at the press conferences where I am also a champion.
First Harry - giving out about referee and then threatening a media blackout. Why is this? Can he not take the pressure of the questioning? Two words Harry: 'Shut Up FA'!
Then the cuckoo - Rafa followed his recent story of milk in a bottle with a wonderful story about a priest sitting on a mountain of sugar. And while everyone is trying to figure out what this means, the Special 1 knows exactly what this means. It is so obvious and so simple. It means Rafa is going crazy. #thecrazycuckoo.
Rafa Benitez has been in fine form during his press conferences
And then of course there was Mr Alex and the cows - but that's old news. Is there a competition between managers to try and confuse people so they don't really have to talk about their bad performances? Who will be next? Voyeur, Sven, Ian, Roy?
So, managers, listen up. Here is the Special 1's top tips to remember when talking to the journalists:
(1) Always reference fresh produce: 'No eggs, no omelettes. When the class one eggs are in Waitrose and you cannot go there, you have a problem'.
(2) Element of surprise: When journalist asks if you will announce your starting team, say 'No. I will not announce my team. I will announce the other team'. Just like I did in 2005 against Barcelona.
(3) Be modest: 'Please don't call me arrogant, but I'm European champion and I think I'm a special one' . . . . . Modest yet still gets the point across - Chelsea in 2004.
(4) Leave them guessing: Remember my Feet and the Cashmere Blanket Story? - They are still trying to figure this one out.
And the guessing continues. In a scramble to discover the secrets of being a fantastic manager, fans and opponents of the Special 1 have been scrambling to translate my match notes discovered after 3-1 win over Hercules.
Very nice, they have taken the bait . . . .
Meanwhile, you are still doing it to me here, there and everywhere - even in US elections.
Also from the Twitter (@special1tv) . . . .
@pauldalglish: Good to see LFC have updated the website to commemorate our famous win.http://plixi.com/p/54210050 #BBC3
@act14: TV please tell me @Sven_Manager has nothing to do with Bielsa's decision about leaving Chile's National Team #Pimping
And this week I asked the Twits this question: 'So... my biggest decision tonight pre ACMilan v Real Madrid was?
Winning answer came from @MScottC Answer: 'Sweater or Scarf'. Very nice MScottC.
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