Town of Zeros by Charlie Bowie
"A masterpiece! Proof that when life throws you lemons, make a gin and tonic." The Shieldinch Review
"D:Ream told us that things can only get better, Bowie tells us: that's a load of crap." The Mossgreen Journal
Eh, what do you think? A bestseller in the making?! Ahem, maybe not, I should probably stick to my day job which is erm, writing mildly amusing blogs! Back to it then....
Chapter 1 - Death of a Pimp
Wow, what an episode! I must say I thought it was pretty darn brilliant this week. Talk about a bad day - Michael found out his wife was having an affair and then got arrested for murdering Cam the Bam! He didn't have much chance of getting away with murder; he was the worst criminal EVER!! Now, I ain't no expert in covering my tracks but when you're the prime suspect in an assault it's probably not the most sensible idea to walk across the street in front of DC Grant looking really suspicious, carrying a large black bin bag! Nice one Doc! It's also sensible to say as little as possible to the copper and certainly not continually land yourself in it - be cool man. And see when the polis bring you in for questioning, don't just blurt out "Aye it was me" - let them work for it!! Ah Mick, you should of called me, I'd of kept you right! But, Doctor Brodie didn't call me and as a result he's in jail. I can't see any easy way out of this for him so I'm afraid it's farewell to Michael Brodie for now.
Chapter 2 - The Godmother vs The Godfather
So creepy, freaky Auld Agnes is having money troubles and she ain't too proud to take a hand out from a clueless Lenny Murdoch. She really is a nasty old bat, no wonder Vivifran is messed up, who wouldn't be with a mother like that! Now that Vivifran has put her foot down and professed her love for Lenny it looks the auld bat is ready to take matters into her own hands. And did you see the sneak peek of next week? It would appear that her evil plan involves Lenny's little grandson Callum -she wouldn't be evil and crazy enough to harm a 3 year old child... surely... erm... would she?
Chapter 3 - The Author and the Serving Wench
Annie's not really a wench, I just like to use the word wench. It was Charlie's birthday and as we all know, birthdays get you thinking! So, Charlie decided it was time to take the bull by the horns, he proposed to Annie and whisked her away to go travelling around the world. He is even contemplating a sequel to that bestseller 'Town of Zeros' - that's got movie deal written all over it. I had tear in my eye when Charlie proposed to Annie, it was very sweet and his wee face was soooo cute. And that's farewell to the lovely couple! I'm sad to see them go but they've had a lovely happy ending to their story.
Whatever you do, do not miss next week's episode, it's the grand finale of Series 7 and as I mentioned before, Agnes will be exacting her terrible revenge on Lenny and there's more trouble in store for the Brodie clan - seriously, if you thought things couldn't get worse for Michael you were very wrong!