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Who are you?

Eddie Mair | 10:39 UK time, Thursday, 27 May 2010



  • 1. At 10:55am on 27 May 2010, Sid wrote:

    Hi. I'm Sid. Always have been, always will be.

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  • 2. At 10:59am on 27 May 2010, Big Sister wrote:

    Hi. I'm ........ confused. But I'm certainly not vainly here.

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  • 3. At 11:08am on 27 May 2010, Fearless Fred wrote:

    Hi. I'm me, apart from when I'm someone else...

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  • 4. At 11:16am on 27 May 2010, Cash Hughes wrote:

    Sorry. Can't answer that. I must be #404

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  • 5. At 11:18am on 27 May 2010, Cash Hughes wrote:

    Cash Hughes by name, distinctly nutty by nature

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  • 6. At 11:22am on 27 May 2010, U14450706 wrote:

    Sciurus Vulkgaris

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  • 7. At 11:42am on 27 May 2010, vainly_here wrote:

    Well, my Factbook name is (still) Vyle Hernia, so that's not much help. Not that I have ever commented on the Independent.

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  • 8. At 11:50am on 27 May 2010, annasee wrote:

    I've always used my real name (or most of it) on here. You just have to "interpret" it slightly. Like a cryptic crossword.

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  • 9. At 12:04pm on 27 May 2010, Cash Hughes wrote:

    Aragorn: Who are you? Show yourself!

    (The bright light dims, revealing Gandalf, dressed all in white. The three are astounded. Legolas and Gimli bow)

    Aragorn: It cannot be. You fell.

    Gandalf: Through fire and water.

    (Flashback: Gandalf is battling the Balrog on a peak)

    From the lowest dungeon to the highest peak, I fought him, the Balrog of Morgoth.

    (Gandalf holds up Glamdring and a flash of lightning strikes it before he plunges the sword into the Balrog. With a final cry, the Balrog falls from the peak and lands, smoking, onto the icy rocks below)

    Until at last, I threw down my enemy and smote his ruin upon the mountainside.

    (On top of the mountain, Gandalf crawls a little ways and then collapses)

    Darkness took me. And I strayed out of thought and time.

    (The camera zooms in Gandalf’s eye and enters an amorphous realm of stars and whirling galaxies, ending in a blinding white light)

    Stars wheeled overhead and every day was as long as a life-age of the earth. But it was not the end. I felt life in me again.

    (The camera zooms out from Gandalf’s eye; he is lying, naked and very still, in the snow. His hair has turned white and his wounds are completely healed. He suddenly shudders with a deep gasp as life returns to him)

    I've been sent back until my task is done.

    Aragorn: Gandalf!

    Gandalf: Gandalf? Yes... That's what they used to call me.
    Gandalf the Grey. That was my name.

    (He smiles)

    Gimli: Gandalf!

    Gandalf: (He has a twinkle in his eye)

    I am Gandalf the White.

    (Aragorn grins)

    And I come back to you now at the turn of the tide.

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  • 10. At 12:13pm on 27 May 2010, Mindclearly wrote:

    I am dylexic.

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  • 11. At 12:21pm on 27 May 2010, DiY wrote:

    Who me? I'm just a little ol' Arachis hypogea.

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  • 12. At 12:21pm on 27 May 2010, Fearless Fred wrote:

    I am not a number. I am a free man/lunch/gift*

    *delete as appropriate

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  • 13. At 12:25pm on 27 May 2010, GiulioNapolitani wrote:

    Dyslexics of the world, untie!

    So, Independent in self-publicity shocker. In repsonse I can only paraphrase Andrew Marr's excellent "My Trade" and posit that if a headline asks a question, the answer is generally 'no'.

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  • 14. At 1:00pm on 27 May 2010, Ellis P Otter wrote:

    Seriously though, I have no objection to the BBC knowing who I am (or any other forum host where I post for that matter) but I don't like the idea of exposing my identity to the, one in a million, readers who may use it to my detriment by reason of malice or otherwise.

    Furthermore, it allows marketeers to know even more about me and my likes and dislikes than they already do; there's a whole other debate there!

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  • 15. At 1:02pm on 27 May 2010, Big Sister wrote:

    Ellis, I'm entirely with you on that point!

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  • 16. At 1:02pm on 27 May 2010, gossipmistress wrote:

    I'm unclear as to whether it means you will have to use your real name on the forum or just to create an account. Still I only skipped over it - I got a bit bored after the first paragraph! I probably wouldn't comment on many blogs if I had to use my real name all the time

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  • 17. At 1:14pm on 27 May 2010, U14450706 wrote:

    A 'real name' can become un-useable under some (fickle) circumstances, I've heard.

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  • 18. At 1:20pm on 27 May 2010, GotToTheEnd wrote:

    This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the House Rules.

  • 19. At 1:33pm on 27 May 2010, boscombearts wrote:

    I am trying tell the 'movers and shakers" that Bournemouth's Conservative Council seem to be spitting in the face of David Cameron's "Big Society". That's not all. Having obtained a £2.3 million grant for an "integrated services hub" (I know, I know), which could reopen a community and arts centre in the deprived area of Boscombe (one of the 2% most deprived in the country) - B'mth Council are ignoring this. A vote taken by Full Council to include us was later effectively overturned by the Leaders (so all hail them)- so much for democracy or am I just disorientated and live in Beijing not Bournemouth? Cllrs. tell us they are threatend with removal from various panels if they don't do as they are told. Our website has a lot of the story www.boscombearts.org.uk - in the meantime, there is washing to do, shopping, meetings to go to ...guess I can always stir the custard with my earlobe whilst doing a bit of ironing.

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  • 20. At 1:34pm on 27 May 2010, Big Sister wrote:

    EtE, you are talking utter twaddle, and, yet again, trolling.

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  • 21. At 1:35pm on 27 May 2010, theotherdaughter wrote:

    I'm with Ellis P and Big Sis on this. I chose the name I use as this is how my mother used to introduce me to her friends. I lived further from the family home than my big sister (not the blog's one) and so became - and remained 'other'.

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  • 22. At 1:42pm on 27 May 2010, boscombearts wrote:

    So I am the "sum total of all my experiances" what else can I be? If I lived in Beijing I would be fearful, not forthright. If I had only one child instead of 4, I would still be trying to work, clean every night, etc. etc. so I would be an over protective parent and a work alholic. And so it goes on.....No one has the capacity to put their brain in neutral so everything has an impact...the more something happens, the bigger the impact it has on shaping our thinking - can't imagine anything else.

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  • 23. At 2:40pm on 27 May 2010, newlach wrote:

    I ("I" think) have thought about this before. I can't get away from the activity going on "my" brain and the relationship between neurotransmitters and action. I then, I now and I tomorrow. I was, I am and I will be. Consciousness. I am part of some whole, or am I a discrete entity that can be divided into many parts. God: never. Soul: never. This type of question.

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  • 24. At 2:49pm on 27 May 2010, Big Sister wrote:

    I'm glad I'm not this guy:


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  • 25. At 2:55pm on 27 May 2010, Redheylin wrote:

    "Who am I?" I asked it of the teacher, the thinker, the scientist, priest and guru.

    "Who am I?" "Perhaps", they said, "even as I myself" - but how was I to see through another man's eyes?

    "Who am I?" A hundred answers clamoured, and all were "be like us!"

    "Who am I?" Grabbing onto their sex, their race, their creed, their class, as though it were a flag of war - as though it were a life-belt!

    "Who am I?" And whence shall come the light that shall light the answer?

    I am not of those with the answer: I am not of those without the answer, for the former are dreaming and the latter are sleeping.

    I ask myself "Do I have consciousness? Do I have free will?" and in that moment answer a truthful affirmative - but is it so in the long hours when I forget to ask?

    I ask myself "Am I eternal, am I mortal?" From one side I answer "yes", from the other side "no", and there is no third side, and nothing wherewith to choose - the yea-sayers and the nay-sayers alike, desiring false certainty, would shut the door upon the half of their own selves!

    "Who am I?" Certainly anonymous! And these little grey sleeping, dreaming things would have me declare myself to them?

    Oh my people! You are not yet, but a possibility - a possibility of nonentity, richer by far, more loving, more intelligent by far, than the tail-chasing Somebody Special you aspire to be.

    To be somebody is to be nobody, to be nobody is to be somebody. Your feeble mind, stuffed with false ideals, shall not grasp it. Once in a while your heart shall grasp it: you will treasure that moment but forget to follow its promise.

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  • 26. At 2:57pm on 27 May 2010, Big Sister wrote:

    I am, a la Rumsfeld, a 'known unknown'.

    Or is it an 'unknown known'?


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  • 27. At 2:59pm on 27 May 2010, Big Jim wrote:

    OW! My head hurts, where am I? Everything hurts, These aren't my mountains......

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  • 28. At 3:11pm on 27 May 2010, Redheylin wrote:

    These and other thoughts crossed my mind as the dart hit me and I fell out of the tree......

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  • 29. At 3:29pm on 27 May 2010, mittfh wrote:

    Err...I'm an acronym. Regulars should know what it stands for by now. I hope.

    But back to topic, I note that several are using OAuth, which means that rather than registering for them, you sign in using your Google, Twitter or Facebook credentials. And increasing numbers of sites offer plugins to update your Twitter or Facebook status with your activity - YouTube's one of the biggest, but iPlayer's jumped on the bandwagon now.

    So it wouldn't surprise me at all if when Project Canvas is released, it will have the ability to spam all your friends with what you're doing.

    Bah, in 20 years time you won't need to manually update your Twitter status. Your car will tell your friends exactly where you're driving, your supermarket will tell your friends exactly what you've bought, your oven will tell your friends exactly what you're eating, your bathroom will tell your friends whether you've had a bath or a shower, and just how many pages of War and Peace you read while on the throne...

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  • 30. At 3:42pm on 27 May 2010, Redheylin wrote:

    Is that bear a catholic?

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  • 31. At 4:01pm on 27 May 2010, Cash Hughes wrote:

    29. mittfh

    • "and just how many pages of War and Peace you read while on the throne..."

    And whether last night's curry agreed with you?

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  • 32. At 4:15pm on 27 May 2010, Anne P wrote:

    mittfh 29, the attractions of going off the grid increase - if only it were possible.

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  • 33. At 4:34pm on 27 May 2010, Alan_N wrote:

    I am Spartacus.

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  • 34. At 4:35pm on 27 May 2010, Big Sister wrote:

    Well, if you're Spartacus, Alan, I'm Sophia Loren ;o)

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  • 35. At 4:35pm on 27 May 2010, Lepus_Madidus wrote:

    Someone that gave £10 to the NO2ID campaign. :)

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  • 36. At 4:39pm on 27 May 2010, Alan_N wrote:

    34 - Now we're talking Sis ;-)

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  • 37. At 4:41pm on 27 May 2010, Lepus_Madidus wrote:


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  • 38. At 4:47pm on 27 May 2010, Stewart_M wrote:

    Well I am Me and you are you, but from your point of view, you are me and I am you.

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  • 39. At 4:51pm on 27 May 2010, Lepus_Madidus wrote:

    I'm not Gary McKinnon or an American working as a Network Admin at NASA that left several networks insecure, and I am not a former Labour Minister that went along with the Mickey Mouse one way extradition treaty with the US, and I am not Andy Burnham.

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  • 40. At 5:16pm on 27 May 2010, mittfh wrote:

    When I post this, it will probably claim I'm number 40 and mittfh.
    However, if I then refresh the page, it will probably claim I'm now "you" - although everyone else will still see "mittfh".

    I'm sitting at a work computer, just before I log off and bog off home :)

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  • 41. At 5:41pm on 27 May 2010, ltuae_42 wrote:

    I am wishing I were the answer ...

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  • 42. At 5:42pm on 27 May 2010, ltuae_42 wrote:

    So, now I'm 42!
    If only all wishes were that easily fulfilled ...

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  • 43. At 6:27pm on 27 May 2010, DiY wrote:

    mittfh..log off and bog off home at 5:16!

    Nice work if you can get it!

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  • 44. At 6:34pm on 27 May 2010, DiY wrote:

    I am not the US president that is going to pursue BP (rightly) for compensation for the Gulf of Mexico oil spill.

    But at the same time ignoring what Union Carbide did to the Indian city of Bhopal, Madhya Pradesh in 1984 that directly resulted in exposing more than 500,000 people to MIC and other chemicals and leading to 3,787 deaths.

    As of 2010 no one has yet been prosecuted for the disaster.

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  • 45. At 6:40pm on 27 May 2010, lucien desgai wrote:

    44 Mr Nutt
    You may enjoy this clip


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  • 46. At 6:53pm on 27 May 2010, Redheylin wrote:

    I am he as you are we as they are me and we are put together!
    See how they run like Tuesday's Madonna Ciccione
    I'm flying.

    Yellow Semolina
    Tripping on a sugar cube
    General de Gaulle's performing penguin
    Runaway train ran over the engineer
    I'm dying.

    Export suspect ex offender
    Exlax goes right through you as you know
    See how they flew like Looby Loo and Teddy too
    Through the raspberry fields
    I'm trying

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  • 47. At 6:58pm on 27 May 2010, Redheylin wrote:

    I am the frogman,
    I am the groundsman,
    I am the carpenter!

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  • 48. At 7:00pm on 27 May 2010, Redheylin wrote:

    But if I were a walrus
    And you were a sea-cow
    Would you marry me anyway?
    Would you have my guts for garters?

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  • 49. At 7:01pm on 27 May 2010, DiY wrote:

    lucien desgai, thank you and also thanks to redheylin, I hope lucien desgai appreciates it as well.


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  • 50. At 7:11pm on 27 May 2010, Redheylin wrote:

    I love poetry, me. Shall I do me Blonde on Blonde?

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  • 51. At 7:22pm on 27 May 2010, Ellis P Otter wrote:

    I think that this needs posting now Who are You?

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  • 52. At 7:33pm on 27 May 2010, Big Jim wrote:

    • " 42. At 5:42pm on 27 May 2010, ltuae_42 wrote:
      If only all wishes were that easily fulfilled ..."

    Just eighteen more posts and you too can be a "trusted user"!

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  • 53. At 7:38pm on 27 May 2010, Redheylin wrote:

    Shall I compare me to a Winter's tale?
    (When Dick the shepherd blows his hooter?)
    Rough words succeed where fools and horses fail
    And summer's fine to ride a motor-scooter

    Thus shall I cruel be, but to be kind,
    Neither, fair maid, if either thee disgust!
    Coarse as I am, when thou art so refined,
    Though coarse and fine shall likewise come to dust.

    Whilst thou art here, couldst also sweep behind
    The arras, where my broom doth often fail?
    For, I regret, my vacuum-cleaner's bust
    Yet in the kitchen stands the mop and pail.

    Yea! Do the housework: let thy fervent suitor
    Scribe timeless odes to thee on his computer.

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  • 54. At 7:41pm on 27 May 2010, Redheylin wrote:

    Anyhow... bout time I got a life...

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  • 55. At 8:51pm on 27 May 2010, ltuae_42 wrote:

    52. At 7:33pm on 27 May 2010, Big Jim wrote:
    " 42. At 5:42pm on 27 May 2010, ltuae_42 wrote:
    If only all wishes were that easily fulfilled ..."

    Just eighteen more posts and you too can be a "trusted user"!

    I'm starting to understand the comments about "getting a life" ...
    ... and a bit worried about possible addiction ...

    but my remaining wishes are MUCH more ambitious even than becoming a trusted user ...

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  • 56. At 10:24pm on 27 May 2010, chatterisgirl wrote:

    Oh - that's easy: When I went back to the office after a recent holiday, someone had stuck a lamenated card on the top of my computer screen with my name on it. All I need to remember now is which is my screen.

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  • 57. At 10:33pm on 27 May 2010, U14450706 wrote:

    55. ltuae_42

    • "but my remaining wishes are MUCH more ambitious even than becoming a trusted user ..."


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  • 58. At 11:02pm on 27 May 2010, pmmolly wrote:

    I'm just me. Trust me.


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  • 59. At 11:04pm on 27 May 2010, Moray Mint wrote:

    I'm minty

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  • 60. At 09:14am on 28 May 2010, pmmolly wrote:

    play, minty, for me

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  • 61. At 3:52pm on 28 May 2010, GotToTheEnd wrote:


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  • 62. At 4:23pm on 28 May 2010, Big Jim wrote:

    Please do not call 911 if you see a bear. Sighting a bear is not an emergency. There are bears in Bozeman.

    -Sam Sheppard, Montana Department of Fish, Wildlife and Parks employee

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  • 63. At 6:30pm on 28 May 2010, Moray Mint wrote:

    60. pmmolly

    • "play, minty, for me"

    Sure thing, but have your earplugs ready...

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  • 64. At 6:45pm on 28 May 2010, Lady_Sue wrote:

    Oh, Big Sis, if you can be Sophia can I be Julia Roberts?

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  • 65. At 9:04pm on 28 May 2010, Sid wrote:

    Hmmm, Julia Roberts ...

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  • 66. At 10:31pm on 28 May 2010, Big Sister wrote:

    I don't know, Sue - you'd better ask her. I was turned down by Sophia, so I'll just remain a known unknown.

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  • 67. At 10:50pm on 28 May 2010, pmmolly wrote:

    moray mint (63)



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  • 68. At 01:10am on 29 May 2010, Moray Mint wrote:

    Ok, here goes....


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  • 69. At 10:05am on 29 May 2010, pmmolly wrote:


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