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Paddy sends this for us all, from the BH inbox...

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Eddie Mair | 08:36 UK time, Thursday, 24 December 2009


"Attached a nauseatingly sweet photo of my dear dog, Tilly. In addition to her rather sporty reindeer antlers, she is wearing, on her collar, the real sleigh bell what I bought her at the Christmas market in Prague.

I suspect the reason that none of the BH listeners have asked for a review of the decade, is that we thought you might wait to do it until next year, when we will actually have had one. BH listeners all realise that there was no Year Zero. And don't you dare call me pedantic. I'm not pedantic, I'm just right.

Bah Humbug and all that

Adrienne and Tilly the dog"


  • 1. At 09:46am on 24 Dec 2009, Stewart_M wrote:

    Can I join your pedants club?

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  • 2. At 09:57am on 24 Dec 2009, davmcn wrote:

    Where are the posters who complained when I sent a photo of a cat in a Father Christmas costume?

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  • 3. At 10:55am on 24 Dec 2009, Geoff Realname wrote:

    Are you quite sure that pedant is the right word?

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  • 4. At 11:05am on 24 Dec 2009, jonnie wrote:

    Oh lovely Paddy - Thank you.

    Dav - your cat was clearly squeezed in to that outfit and didn't look happy. Look at the glee by way of contrast on Tilly's face... ;-)

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  • 5. At 11:40am on 24 Dec 2009, Lady_Sue wrote:


    You must be right Paddy - a decade needs ten years and that wont happen till the end of next year. Which fools are arguing against that?

    Tilly such a delightful name for such a massive dog. Give her a pet from me and Happy Christmas!

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  • 6. At 11:49am on 24 Dec 2009, davmcn wrote:

    jonnie 4, Yeah, sure. Do you know the "That's not my dog." joke. Well, as I KEEP saying, "That wasn't my cat!" And, if you know Persians, they can look grumpy most of the time.

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  • 7. At 11:54am on 24 Dec 2009, jonnie wrote:

    okay, okay David - only a joke .. meow!

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  • 8. At 11:58am on 24 Dec 2009, lucien desgai wrote:

    6 dav
    Whose cat did you dress up as Santa? Did they give you permission?

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  • 9. At 12:01pm on 24 Dec 2009, ValeryP wrote:

    I know we've had this discussion before - but I think this is the 10th year of the decade because surely the decade started with 2000? It may have a zero at the end, but the year still exists.

    Excuse woolly thinking - full of a festive cold, and bewildered by mad snow finally reaching our parts.

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  • 10. At 12:37pm on 24 Dec 2009, Lady_Sue wrote:

    Val, while I wouldn't like to disagree with you, particularly on Christmas Eve, if you count from one to ten, you don't start "zero, one, two..." and then say you've reached the tenth number when you get to nine now do you?

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  • 11. At 12:44pm on 24 Dec 2009, Sage wrote:

    Please remember 'A dog is not just for Christmas' but a turkey is fine.


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  • 12. At 12:59pm on 24 Dec 2009, gossipmistress wrote:

    Quite right Adrienne! Our family dog Derek used to wear a bow tie at special occasions and never objected - Tilly looks pretty happy in her antlers - though, that could be because person on the left has a food treat for her!

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  • 13. At 1:53pm on 24 Dec 2009, ValeryP wrote:

    I hear what you're saying Lady Sue - I just think there are two ways of looking at it. Surely 2010 will belong in the teens decade, because the 3rd number from the left is a 1? and then 2020 will be one of the twenties etc, etc?

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  • 14. At 1:59pm on 24 Dec 2009, Lady_Sue wrote:

    Is the "food treat" a leg of something human?

    Val, I know what you mean and it does depend on how you look at it. Wonder what Paddy's reasoning is? Perhaps he'll share.

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  • 15. At 2:16pm on 24 Dec 2009, jonnie wrote:

    However equally a decade is ten years. Each year is defined as having 12 Months -- so since the millenium and the start of the noughties we are now in Month 120 - therefore this must be the end of the decade no?

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  • 16. At 3:46pm on 24 Dec 2009, davmcn wrote:

    ld 8, It was our daughter's cat, she dressed it up, and it is now dead. Not cause and effect, however.

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  • 17. At 3:48pm on 24 Dec 2009, davmcn wrote:

    VP, LS, There was a year 1BC and a year 1AD, but no year 0 in between.

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  • 18. At 4:13pm on 24 Dec 2009, davmcn wrote:

    B 11, Is that the expurgated version of the one I sent that got deleted?

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  • 19. At 5:01pm on 24 Dec 2009, davmcn wrote:

    Always worth another look:


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  • 20. At 5:51pm on 24 Dec 2009, jonnie wrote:

    Yes that's it.

    That poor poor cat from David.

    What a thing to do to an animal.

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  • 21. At 5:56pm on 24 Dec 2009, jonnie wrote:

    I see that the BH website has published the text of a lovely Carol?

    -- Shall we all singalong with Paddy then.....


    It's traditional for us to ask the English Chamber Choir to sing some Christmas songs for our last BH before Christmas. Here is their topical take on The Twelve Days of Christmas and Ding Dong Merrily On High, with the kind permission of writers Karen Bloomfield and Jay Venn.


    On the first day of Christmas, my MP gave to me,
    A claim form to make it all free.

    On the seventh day of Christmas, my MP took from me,
    Seven sons a-scrounging
    Six hanging baskets
    Porn DVDs…
    Four flipped flats
    Three duck homes
    Two pristine moats
    And a claim form to make it all free.

    On the twelfth day of Christmas, my MP took from me,
    Twelve cans of dog food
    Eleven chocolate Santas
    Ten limed oak loo seats
    Nine bell towers ringing
    Eight wives a-working
    Seven sons a-scrounging
    Six hanging baskets
    Porn DVDs…
    Four flipped flats
    Three duck homes
    Two pristine moats
    And three hundred embarrassed MPs!


    Verse 1
    Ding dong merrily on high
    The bankers are in trouble
    If their bonus hits the sky
    Their tax is set to double

    Go----------rdon and Alistair are scheming
    Lo..........rd, the taxpayers are steaming

    Verse 2
    The recession’s hit the street
    The tills they are not ringing
    Gordon Brown is in retreat
    And tax demands are stinging

    Go…………vernment is really cutting spending
    No-----------body is offering new lending

    Verse 3
    Though they’re nearly nationalised
    They still act like they own us
    And they’re looking quite surprised
    When we don’t like their bonus

    Pe- - - -ension plans are there to save bank bosses
    He---lp us all, we’re going to see job losses

    Verse 4
    Banking practice can be rough
    But here’s the way to play it
    If your debt is big enough
    The rest of us will pay it

    Fi----------scally the system’s lost its reason
    Co----mpliments. Best wishes for the season

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  • 22. At 00:36am on 25 Dec 2009, Fearless Fred wrote:

    Jonnie, I think you will find that a decade is defined solely as a period of ten years, without reference to when those ten years start/finish. Now, there's absolutely nothing stopping you from deciding to celebrate the ten years that have elapsed since the 10:07am on January the 6th as a decade. It's just that you won't find many who wil join you in the celebrations ;-)

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  • 23. At 10:00am on 25 Dec 2009, davmcn wrote:

    jonnie 20, It was dead and stuffed.

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